Washington City Paper (June 12, 2015)

CITYPAPER Washington

politics: off-cycle council seats 7

music: louis weeks’ pop logic 37

Free Volume 35, no. 24 WashingtonCityPaPer.Com June 12–18, 2015

The Food Issue

Meeting the parents? Dining with your dog? Drinking with a snob?

Here’s a restaurant and bar for every occasion. 14 PhoTograPhs by darrow MonTgoMery

JUNE 14

JUNE 13

THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE NEW YORK GILBERT & SULLIVAN PLAYERS

CLASSIC ALBUMS LIVE PRESENTS

THE BEATLES – ABBEY ROAD

BACK TO THE FUTURE

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HUBBARD STREET DANCE CHICAGO

CELTIC WOMAN

10TH ANNIVERSARY WORLD TOUR

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TONY AWARD-WINNING ROCK “N” ROLL MUSICAL Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins, and Jerry Lee Lewis

ANDY EINHORN, CONDUCTOR

™ & © UNIVERSAL STUDIOS AND U-DRIVE JOINT VENTURE

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JOHN FOGERTY 1969

JUNE 30

PETER FRAMPTON AND CHEAP TRICK

NATIONAL SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA

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MOVE FEATURING DEREK & JULIANNE HOUGH

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PLUS PINK MARTINI 7/10 » BEETHOVEN’S SYMPHONY NO. 5 | SARAH CHANG PLAYS BRUCH | NSO 7/11 R5 | JACOB WHITESIDES 7/12 » NATIONAL BALLET OF CHINA 7/14 PUNCH BROTHERS | BÉLA FLECK & ABIGAIL WASHBURN 7/15 » GUSTER | KISHI BASHI 7/16 POKÉMON: SYMPHONIC EVOLUTIONS | NSO 7/18 » PATTI LABELLE 7/19 » AND MANY MORE!

WOLFTRAP.ORG 2 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

1.877.WOLFTRAP

SUMMER 2015

INSIDE 14 the food issue

Meeting the parents? Dining with a dog? Drinking with a snob? Here’s a restaurant or bar for every occasion.

PhotograPhs by Darrow montgomery

4 Chatter distriCt Line 7

Loose Lips:The joys of off-cycle D.C. Council seats 9 City Desk: The D.C. Public Library wants to read your mind.

10 Gear Prudence 12 Savage Love 35 Buy D.C.

arts

37 Pop, in the Name of Love: Louis Weeks, commercial composer and pop philosopher 39 Arts Desk: Brandon vs.

BRNDA on D.C. culture 39 One Track Mind: Cartoon Weapons’ frenetic take on lemmings 40 Theater: Graham on Our Town and Tartuffe 42 Curtain Calls: Croghan on MaryKate Olsen is in Love, Klimek on The Tale of the Allergist’s Wife, and Paarlberg on Las Polacas 44 Short Subjects: Olszewski on Live From New York! and Gittell on Heaven Knows What 45 Sketches: Capps on “Organic Matters” and “Super Natural” at the National Museum of Women in the Arts 46 Disco: West on Elijah Jamal Balbed’s Lessons from the Streets

City List

49 City Lights: Don Quixote meets Queen Elizabeth at the ballet.

49 Music 56 Theater 58 Film

61 CLassifieds diversions 62 Crossword 63 Dirt Farm

on the Cover

Photograph of Chez Billy Sud’s duck à l’orange by Darrow Montgomery

“ ”

I have an anxIety about mImetIc culture.

—Page 37

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CHATTER

In which readers go Goldilocks over the size of Pride

Where’s Your Pride?

terror targeting and waste removal. Not to be outdone, Shetler Somerset appeared to Not Get It: “Back then, as I do now, I believed that businesses marching alongside gays was a sign of success. I thought: Isn’t that what the entire gay rights movement was about? What does the gay establishment really want?

To be accepted or ignored? To be a part of the American machine, or part of Cuba? You can’t have your cake and eat it to. No wonder more and more Americans believe gay rights is about privilege and not acceptance.” You hear that, gays? You and your queer cake will find yourselves in Cuba if you keep nagging the hegemony for stuff!

For the past three years, Washington City

PaPer has Published

an issue around D.C.’s Pride Week to celebrate, critique, document, and talk about the city’s LGBTQ community.

This year’s Gay Issue featured standout writing and photography by staff and freelancers. In response to Arts Editor Christina Cauterucci’s critique of the corporatization of Pride, readers basically fell into one of two camps: “RIP Pride” or “Deal With It.” Steve, repping the first group, seconded Cauterucci’s basic premise: “Yes, this Pride Parade used to be a blast but now its the wrong type of drag. Hetero girls primpin’, get their drinks on like its Oktoberfest; every animal rescue and dentist in town has a parade car/van; the entire DC Council shows up to politick. What happened to the crazy days? Damn, I miss that shit!” Ugh, seriously. And don’t even get us started on the drunk animal dentists primpin’ their politicks from their vans.

But Rock Creek Werewolf raised a very fair point: How do you pay for Pride if not with big, corporate bucks? And what’s the harm? “Anyone who dislikes the corporate sponsorship of D.C.’s pride parade and festival is more than welcome to donate the tens of thousands of dollars required to provide the necessary road closures, fencing, outreach and organization to the 100’s of LGBT orgs and performing groups that participate, advertising, website management, bathroom and sanita-

7 2 5

That’s Not Gay Enough. In response to our Loose Lips column on the absence of any out gay Councilmembers (“They’re Here, They’re Not Queer, Get Used To It”), LMNOP had a sharp rebuke: “Either this was written by and for straight people who want to feel good about how liberal they are - and/or - our city’s gay advocates have been courted so hard by straight CMs that they forgot the importance of being in the room and at the tas ble.” Rick Rosendall, the very GLAA nt e president whom LL interviewed for the v piece, replied, “To clarify, I’m not particu/e m larly worried about discrimination in jury seo .c lection. I just mentioned that the issue is one of er p the items being tracked by the State Equality Ina p dex put out by the Human Rights Campaign and ty i c the Equality Federation. DC has already checked n o the boxes on almost everything else. The DC Coungt n cil is expected to legalize surrogate parenting agreements i h this year, and to adopt LGBTQ cultural competency standards as w for licensed healthcare providers.” And that is this week’s master class in giving everyone something to disagree about. Happy —Emily Q. Hazzard Pride Week, everyone! tion, waste removal, and police and private security (made even more important in the wake of events like the Boston Marathon Want to see your name in bold on this page? Send letters, gripes, clarifications, or praise to mail@washingtoncitypaper.com bombing).” Oh shit, Rock Creek just raised the dual specter of

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MillennialsConference_WashingtonCity_BW.qxp_Layout 1 6/5/15 9:17 AM Page 1

Millennials and U.S. Foreign Policy June 18, 2015

T

•

11:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m. • Cato Institute, 1000 Massachusetts Avenue, N.W.

he Millennial Generation, those roughly 87 million men and women born between 1980 and 1997, now represents one-quarter of the U.S. population. With those on the leading edge of Millennials now hitting their mid-thirties, this generation is becoming increasingly influential. A new study from the Cato Institute (which each attendee will receive), authored by George Mason University scholars A. Trevor Thrall and Erik

Goepner, finds that the end of the Cold War, 9/11, and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have imprinted Millennials with a distinct pattern of foreign policy attitudes. Millennials perceive the world to be significantly less threatening than do their elders, and they are more likely than earlier generations to support international cooperation than the unilateral use of military force. They may also have a permanent case of an “Iraq Aversion.”

In this special Cato policy forum, the study’s authors, along with other leading experts, will present the report’s findings, followed by a lively discussion on the impact the Millennial Generation may have on U.S. foreign policy and domestic politics.

SPEAKERS A. TEVOR THRALL, Associate Professor, School of Policy, Government, and International Affairs, George Mason University ERIK GOEPNER, Doctoral student in public policy, George Mason University BETSY WOODRUFF, Politics Reporter, The Daily Beast

EMILY EKINS, Research Fellow, Cato Institute AARON SCHUMACHER, Director, International, The Foreign Policy Group, and Senior Vice President, Young Professionals in Foreign Policy Moderator: CHRISTOPHER PREBLE, Vice President for Defense and Foreign Policy Studies, Cato Institute.

TO REGISTER, CALL 202.789.5229, EMAIL EVENTS@CATO.ORG,OR SIGN UP ONLINE AT CATO.ORG.

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 5

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DISTRICTLINE

Before hitting ‘send,’ OSSE employees’ emails have to get approved at a weekly committee meeting. washingtoncitypaper.com/go/emails

Loose Lips

Election Year of Plenty The joys of off-cycle D.C. Council seats Two weeks ago, a phone poll of mysterious origin sized up what voters think of the 2016 race for Vincent Orange’s atlarge seat. The poll’s hypothetical candidate list included Orange, former attorney general candidate Edward “Smitty” Smith, and frequent at-large hopeful Sekou Biddle. And then there was someone much more surprising: Ward 5 Councilmember Kenyan McDuffie.

At first, the idea of a McDuffie at-large run seems crazy. He just won an easy reelection to his seat representing a politically active ward that could someday springboard him to mayor (or D.C. Council chairman, or attorney general). Running against Orange would mean crossing a pol who used to hold his own seat and potentially alienating activists in Ward 5.

But there’s one big reason McDuffie wants to change seats: the election cycle.

McDuffie’s current seat is up for reelection in 2018, the same as mayor, attorney general, and chairman. But after 2016, Orange’s seat won’t be available again until 2020. By taking the at-large spot, McDuffie could run for higher office in 2018 without risking a position on the Council if he loses.

“Kenyan gets a free shot no matter what he wants to do,” says former Ward 6 Councilmember Sharon Ambrose, who took the poll.

For now, McDuffie is playing coy about his plans. But McDuffie ’16 chatter illuminates one of the strangest quirks of the city’s Home Rule government. Because of the Council’s four-year terms, some councilmembers can run for higher positions without risking their seats in government and the political bases that come with them, while others are guaranteed to lose their spots.

“It allows you to safely run for a higher position without any risk,” says former

Kenyan McDuffie’s higher ambitions may lead to an at-large run.

Darrow Montgomery

By Will Sommer

Councilmember Bill Lightfoot. “That’s the advantage.”

For politicians with grander ambitions, the seats representing Wards 2, 4, 7, and 8, as well as the at-large seats currently filled

by Orange and David Grosso, are the prime ones to have. Their holders can run as many times as they’d like for higher offices without giving up their Council positions. Meanwhile, councilmembers in Wards 1, 3, 5, and 6, along with whoever holds the Elissa Silverman and Anita Bonds at-large spots, have to give up their seats if they want to run.

LL doesn’t expect many tears for the thwarted ambitions of District pols. But the off-cycle election advantage makes it more likely that councilmembers from the favored wards will rise to the city’s highest offices. Out of the four Home Rule-era District mayors who won the top job while on the Council, three—Marion Barry, Adrian Fenty, and Muriel Bowser—came from off-cycle seats (although Barry did risk his at-large seat to run for mayor in 1978).

To see this in action, just look at the 2014 mayoral race. At-larger David Catania and Ward 6 Councilmember Tommy Wells both ran for mayor and gave up their seats in the process. Meanwhile, Orange, who had to give up his Ward 5 seat to run for mayor in 2006, was able to indulge his longshot ambitions again while still staying on the Council after he lost. The same situation played out for Ward 2 Councilmember Jack Evans, who could watch his own second mayoral run flop on Election Day, then look forward to another two years in the Wilson Building anyway.

Council Chairman Phil Mendelson says that the appeal of an off-cycle seat hasn’t lured many councilmembers into running.

“There’s some truth to that, but if you look at the last 40 years there’s been little actual evidence,” Mendelson says.

That’s not to say that nobody tries. In 1996, Harold Brazil, then holding the un-

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 7

DISTRICTLINE appetizing Ward 6 seat, jumped to an off-cycle at-large seat ahead of the 1998 mayoral election. Brazil went on to lose the mayoralty to Anthony Williams. Thanks to his at-large move, though, Brazil stayed on the Council for seven more years.

Removing the off-cycle advantage that some wards have over others ranks a little bit below building the Georgetown gondola in terms of city priorities. In theory, the District could change all the Council seats to Senate-style six-year terms, but who wants councilmembers around for that long?

Alternately, the Council could go to threeyear terms, which, thanks to ever-expanding election seasons, seems too short to ever stop campaigning. Given the rumors about McDuffie’s ambitions, though, maybe some councilmembers wouldn’t mind that.

Getting Schooled Councilmembers ate bacon at their monthly breakfast last week, but the real meat on the menu was beef. Beef, that is, with

“Fenty said to him, ‘Build them and build them fast, I don’t care what it costs.’ ” the Department of General Services over the continuing costs of school modernization.

LL forgives you for checking the date.

The Council has been cranky about school costs since at least the Fenty era, when the hard-charging mayor with the throbbing vein in his head told renovations boss Allen Lew to hurry up and fix the schools.

“Fenty said to him, ‘Build them and build

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them fast, I don’t care what it costs,’” Ward 3 Councilmember Mary Cheh says.

Now, the Council’s discontent has landed with Mayor Muriel Bowser and rising school costs under her administration. Consider the Duke Ellington School of the Arts, where a $139 million remodel now needs an additional $39 million. Or Roosevelt High School, the site of a $15 million remodel

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Got a tip for LL? Send suggestions to lips@washingtoncitypaper.com. Or call (202) 650-6925.

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that has exploded to more than $125 million. On July 8, Cheh and At-Large Councilmember Grosso will hold a joint committee hearing on school construction costs.

“Twenty-four schools have gotten nothing,” Mendelson said. “It’s not like we haven’t spent a couple of billion dollars.”

At breakfast, councilmembers bemoaned the long-standing practice of retroactive change orders, in which the Council is asked to approve outlays for money that has effectively already been spent.

“We pass all this stuff today and they get away with it,” said Evans.

Unlike other Council-mayor showdowns of late, though, Bowser actually agrees with her former colleagues, saying she’s also “concerned” about school modernization costs at DGS. LL will see if there’s reason for concern later this month, when the D.C. Auditor is expected to release a report on how school modernization money has been spent. CP

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DISTRICTLINE City Desk

YeS

*

Tomorrow’s history today: This was the week a lawsuit claimed a corpse went undetected in a Metro station for four days.

With so little time and so much to watch on Netflix, it can be daunting to settle on a book to read.

To take the decision-making out of anxious hands, the D.C. Public Library rolled out Read Feed this spring. Readers who want personalized book recommendations can fill out a short questionnaire about their literary tastes at dclibrary.org/readfeed. The results are then directed to one of DCPL’s more than 60 librarians, who will send back a few recs within days. For the Ron Swansons among us, who don’t like to give out personal information, Southeast Library Branch Manager Laura Gonzales helped us —Morgan Baskin compile a few recommendations.

Are you old enough to file tax forms?

No

Are you old enough to do your own laundry?

No

Are you old enough to retire?

No

YeS

YeS

Let’s be honest: Do you like reading YA novels?

Do you still have time left in college?

No

No

I’d rather read Stephen King than Twilight.

A Tale for the Time Being, Ruth Ozeki; Me Before You, JoJo Moyes “A more literary read, with worlds colliding between a suicidal Japanese girl and a novelist living in Canada,” Gonzales says of A Tale for the Time Being.

1300 BLOCK OF I STREET NW, JUNE 5. By DaRROW MONTgOMERy

A Short History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson “Bryson’s writings are humorous and informational, and this title can serve as a stepping stone to more advanced scientific writers,” says Gonzales. “We would also recommend some of those fiction writers you pretended to read for class—William Faulkner, James Joyce, and Franz Kafka.”

YeS

5 Ingredient Fix: Easy, Elegant and Irresistible Recipes, Claire Robinson; Weeknight Wonders: Delicious, Healthy Recipes in 30 Minutes or Less, Ellie Krieger “Neither one of these titles will teach you how to cook, but the recipes are easy to follow with simple ingredients that are easily accessible to the beginning cook,” Gonzales says.

Beautiful Creatures, Kami Garcia; Daughter of Smoke and Bone, Laini Taylor “Think a better written Twilight, with witches and the genders reversed,” Gonzales says of Beautiful Creatures. washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 9

Gear Prudence: Every time I lock up my bike, I feel awkward. I often drop the lock, fumble around with it, and take extra time with the key. It reminds me, to be honest, of some of my present day experiences on the dating scene. Each time that I lock up at a new rack it’s a different experience.

What can I do to be more confident in this area?

—Lacking Overt Confidence, Klutzy

Bike Safely

cross tracks at a right angle

Dear LOCK: We’ve all been there. You hop off the bike and find a rack. But maybe there’s another bike there or you come at the rack from the wrong angle, and as you can’t quite find the keyhole and connect the mechanism, you feel the eyes of gathered onlookers burn into the back of your head. Your mortification and embarrassment inversely correlates to your manual dexterity and only eventually, after the beads of sweat coalesce on your brow, do you achieve the simple task of affixing your bike to a stationary object. It’s rough.

The dating analogy is apt, but your takeaway is wrong. Each rack is a new and different experience, so learn from your previous ones rather than repeat your past mistakes. Befuddled by parking meters? Avoid them. Have a good time with a street sign? Try that again. But more that than, real confidence can only come from self-assurance in the proper functioning of your own equipment. Know how it works, where you can wedge it, its length and reach, and how much jostling it can handle, and you’ll —GP have mastery in nearly any situation.

Gear Prudence: I live near H Street and it’s forever forthcoming streetcar. I’ve heard lots of stories about bicyclists wiping out from riding over the streetcar tracks, but everyday I see more and more people on bikes still riding on H, despite the obvious dangers of the tracks. Why do they keep —Trolley Route Amplifies doing it?

Crashes, Kindly Skip

The good news? Streetcars will carry bikes. The not so good news?

Tracks are built for streetcars, not bikes. You can avoid falling and tire damage by always crossing streetcar tracks at a right angle.

Before you ride, consider using the safer alternate routes on G and I Streets rather than riding along streetcar tracks.

dcstreetcar.com 10 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Dear TRACKS: The streetcar tracks have been the undoing of many a cyclist. They eat bike tires just like hipsters eat [insert name of popular dish at any Atlas District eatery]. If you ever ride over the tracks, you need to be especially mindful to position your tires to cross in a perpendicular manner.

There are close parallel bike routes to H Street; both G and I streets NE from 2nd to 14th have sharrows and contraflow bike lanes. That’s pretty convenient, though contraflow bike lanes aren’t without their own hazards.

But as to your larger question: Why are people bicycling on H Street? Because that’s where the stuff is. People expect to be able to bicycle from door to door, and they’re willing to abide —GP certain risks to do it.

Gear Prudence is Brian McEntee, who tweets @sharrowsDC. Got a question about bicycling?

Email gearprudence@washcp.com.

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SAVAGELOVE A big congrats to Caitlyn Jenner on her big reveal and lovely Vanity Fair cover! But I am having a crisis of conscience. On one hand, I support a person’s right to be whoever the heck they want to be. You want to wear women’s clothing and use makeup and style your hair?

You look fabulous! You want to carry a pillow around with an anime character on it and get married to it, like a guy in Korea did? Congrats! You want to collect creepy lifelike dolls and push them around in a stroller, like a woman on Staten Island does? Great! But I’m confused where we draw the line. When a thin person believes they’re “fat” and then dangerously restricts their food intake, we can have that person committed. Most doctors won’t amputate your arm simply because you feel you were meant to be an amputee. But when a man decides that he should be a woman (or vice versa), we will surgically remove healthy body parts to suit that particular desire. Of course, we modify/enhance/surgically alter other body parts all the time. I guess I’m confused. Could you shine some light on this for me? I want to be less conflicted about sex-reassignment surgery.

—No Surgery For Me Gender identity, unlike marrying a pillow or pushing a doll around in a stroller, is not an affectation or an eccentricity or plain ol’ batshittery. Gender identity goes to the core of who we are and how we wish to be—how we fundamentally need to be—perceived by others. Take it away, Human Rights Campaign: “The term ‘gender identity,’ distinct from the term ‘sexual orientation,’ refers to a person’s innate, deeply felt psychological identification as a man, woman, or some other gender, which may or may not correspond to the sex assigned to them at birth… Transitioning is the process some transgender people go through to begin living as the gender with which they identify, rather than the sex assigned to them at birth. This may or may not include hormone therapy, sex-reassignment surgery, and other medical procedures.”

Unlike people who have healthy limbs amputated (which some doctors will do, if only to prevent people with “body integrity identity disorder” from amputating their own limbs) or thin people starving themselves to death because they think they’re fat, transgender people who embrace their gender identities and take steps toward transitioning are almost always happier and healthier as a result. That said, transitioning is not a panacea. Just as coming out of the closet isn’t the end of a gay person’s struggles or troubles, transitioning—which may or may not involve surgery and/or hormones— won’t protect a trans person from discrimination or violence, or resolve other personal or mental-health issues that may exist.

12 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

You seem pretty concerned about the surgical removal of healthy body parts. To which I would say: Other people’s bodies— and other people’s body parts—are theirs, not yours. And if an individual wants or needs to change or even remove some part(s) of their body to be who they are or to be happy or healthy, I’m sure you would agree that they should have that right. Again, not all trans people get surgery, top or bottom, and many trans people change everything else (they take hormones, they get top surgery) but opt to stick with the genitals they were born with. (The ones they were born with tend to work better than the ones that can currently be constructed for them.) But unless you’re trans yourself, currently sleeping with a trans person, or about to sleep with a trans person, NSFM, it’s really none of your business what any individual trans person elects to change.

For me, it boils down to letting people be who they are and do what they want. Sometimes people do things for what can seem like silly and/or mystifying reasons (marry pillows, grow beards, vote Republican), while sometimes people—sometimes even the same people—do things for very sound and serious reasons (come out, alter their bodies, vote Democrat). Unless someone else’s choices impact you in a real, immediate, and material way—unless someone wants to marry your pillow or wants to surgically alter your body or wants to persecute you politically or economically—there’s no conflict for you to resolve.

Accept that you won’t always understand all of the choices that other people make about their sexualities or gender identities—or their partners or their hobbies or their whatevers—and try to strike the right balance between minding your own business and embracing/celebrating the infinite diversity of the human experience.

—Dan Savage I’m a 23-year-old man. I left an abusive relationship a year ago, and I’m currently in therapy dealing with the fallout. This abusive relationship really affected me negatively. On the one hand, she was the first person I was ever really intimate with. And when I say intimate, I mean pretty much everything you can think of—holding hands to kissing to intercourse to kinky sex. I identify very strongly as a submissive man, but she coerced me to be way more dominant than I actually am, among other shitty things she did to me. This has made me even more desirous of expressing myself submissively in bed, because I never really got to be who I actually am. How can I explore my submissive desires in a place that doesn’t really have much in the way of BDSM-related meet-ups,

Other people’s bodies—and other people’s body parts—are theirs, not yours. munches, clubs, etc.? How do I meet a Dominant who is respectful and kind? I may need more time away from relationships to recover and get my life in order, but being a submissive is more and more on the forefront of my mind.

—Seeking A Dominant If you don’t live someplace with kinky clubs and social organizations—no classes, no munches, no dungeons—you have three options.

1. Look for kinky people in your area on kinky dating sites. Mention that you’re looking for kinky friends, too, not just dates or lovers, because a kinky friend could invite you to a private party in your area.

2. Date women you’ve met on non-kinky sites or in non-kinky venues and roll out your kinks in good time. I’ve been to lots of kink events, SAD, and I’ve met two kinds of people there: people who were always kinky and people who fell in love with someone kinky and then fell in love with kink. You know from personal experience that being coerced into playing a certain role is no fun—it can even tip over into abuse—so your mission is to find one of those women who loves being Dominant but won’t realize it until she falls in love with a submissive guy.

3. Move someplace that has kinky clubs, social organizations, and BDSM-related —Dan events and play parties.

Your advice to FACTS, the guy who cheated on his wife, was spot-on as usual. He should not tell a woman on a first date about the number of women he cheated on his ex-wife with before his divorce. You might also let him know to not mention the “crying myself to sleep every night” bit, either. But then, I am just a middleaged gay man—so what do I know?

—Just Saying Middle-aged gay men—what do we know —Dan about anything?

Send your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net.

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Doi Moi’s Vietnamese sesame seed beignets with pandan pastry cream are ideal for brunch haters.

Where do I take my friend who hates brunch out to brunch?

Doi Moi

1800 14th St. NW; (202) 733‑5131; doimoidc.com

The Food Issue

When it’s your job to write about food, everyone always wants a restaurant recommendation. There are the usual questions like “Where should I take my parents to dinner?” or “Where should I go on a first date?” And then there are the impossibly specific requests: “Where can I get a last-minute reservation on a Saturday night for 10 people when one is gluten-free, another is vegan, and a third doesn’t drink? Oh, and no small plates, spicy food, or loud music.”

For this year’s Food Issue, we set out to answer those questions and everything in between. (Except that last one. That group should probably just stay in.) We asked readers for situations or occasions for which they need suggestions on where to go, and we were flooded with inquiries like “What’s the best place for a double date with a couple you hate?” and “Where do I take my smug New York friends out to dinner when they actually decide to come down to D.C. for a weekend?”

We also came up with a few common scenarios of our own. So whether you’re celebrating an anniversary, meeting colleagues, breaking up with someone, or trying to have a decent meal with three kids without hipster judgement, we have —Jessica Sidman a restaurant or bar here for everyone and everything.

P h oTo g r a P h S by Da r r ow M o n T g o M e ry 14 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Just because your friend distrusts hollandaise sauce and subscribes to the philosophy that “brunch is for jerks” doesn’t mean you can’t nurse your hangovers together on a Saturday morning. Yes, brunch can be boring with its endless variations of eggs benedict and pancakes. And watching rowdy 23-year-olds chug back bottomless mimosas can be as headache-inducing as drinking them yourself. But you need not even use the b-word at Doi Moi. The Southeast Asian restaurant on 14th Street NW recently introduced a brunch menu that has has plenty of overlap with the dinner menu. Egg-haters will find refuge in fried pork dumplings, spicy green papaya salad, and lemongrass beef and vermicelli noodles. Even the brunchier dishes are far from cliché, including an excellent banh mi with scrambled eggs and Vietnamese sesame seed beignets with a pandan pastry cream for dipping. Mimosas also get a major upgrade with carrot and ginger. Maybe brunch isn’t so bad after all?

—Jessica Sidman

Where should I go when my rich aunt is visiting?

She just told me she “collects Michelin stars.”

Komi

1509 17th St. NW; (202) 332‑9200; komirestaurant.com

Sorry Aunt Lilly Pulitzer, we don’t have any Michelin-starred restaurants in these parts. But if we did, you’d probably find one or two stars at Komi. The Dupont Circle mainstay from chef Johnny Monis should meet her expectations in terms of food, wine, and service. Though the fine dining haven isn’t the newest in town, the restaurant isn’t resting on its laurels. Small bites fly out of the kitchen and into the hands of expert servers who glissade like ballerinas around the dining room. On a recent visit, highlights from the ever-changing tasting menu included a duck rillette boosted by half-smoke spice and warm dates stuffed with mascarpone. The meal crescendos with a family-style entrée, the most craveable of which is a Greek-style goat leg served with sauces, pickles, and pita. Someone warn auntie that just be-

TAKE METROBUS AND METRORAIL TO THE...

DC JAZZFESTIVAL JUNE 10 –16, 2015 cause she’s throwing down $135 for dinner doesn’t mean she won’t be asked to eat with her hands. To secure a table, your best bet is to call one month in advance of the date you’d like to dine. —Laura Hayes

where should I take my parents when they come in from out of town?

Chez Billy Sud 1039 31st St. NW; (202) 965‑ 2606; chezbillysud.com

Where should I take a tourist to give them the least touristy experience possible?

DCity Smokehouse

8 Florida Ave. NW; (202) 733‑1919; dcitysmokehouse.com

Skip the Capitol building and head up North Capitol Street to DCity Smokehouse. The barbecue joint isn’t near museums or hotels, so it’s not the type of place tourists would usually wander. The location will give them just a peek at a slightly grittier D.C. without the manicured flower beds and neoclassical architecture. Inside the cramped quarters, they’ll find a haven of meat that’s so much better than downtown’s steakhouses. D.C. isn’t exactly known for barbecue, but pitmaster Robert Sonderman might be able to convince these outsiders otherwise with his delightfully fatty brisket and smoked ribs.

Don’t pass up the Meaty Palmer, either.

This epic Texas toast sandwich is stuffed with smoked turkey, pork belly, smashed avocado, tomatoes, chipotle aioli, and cilantro ranch. If the tourists try to make any comparisons to fictional Freddy’s BBQ Joint in House of Cards, just shake your head and sigh. —Jessica Sidman

Where do I take my smug New York friends out to dinner when they actually decide to come down to D.C. for a weekend?

Little Serow

1511 17th St. NW; littleserow.com

Your too-hip friends have arrived from Brooklyn bragging about how they shared an Uber because Bolt Bus is passé. Now it’s up to you to show them that D.C. knows how to let its hair down. Instruct the visiting gaggle to check their Apple watches and get in line at Dupont’s Little Serow around 4:30 p.m. for a meal that’s quirky, flavorful, and memorable enough to change their perspective on the District. They’ll fall in “like” immediately with the spicy, funky northern Thai food, servers in flowery Little House on the Prairie-like dresses average

When your parents come to town, it’s always a good idea to assure them you are a fully functional adult. Georgetown’s Chez Billy Sud is the kind of classy place that says, “I have my life together, mom and dad. I order pâté.”

Sure, Le Diplomate gets all the attention when it comes to French restaurants in D.C. But Chez Billy Sud is every bit as satisfying and charming without feeling like you’re storming the Bastille to get a table. The pale seafoam green-walled dining room populated with white-clothed tables has an elegant air without feeling too stuffy. For something a tad more casual, the outdoor patio—just beyond the din of M Street NW—is most likely to transport you to an alleyway in Provence with its canary walls, ocean blue window shutters, potted flowers, and bright yellow umbrellas.

The spin-off of Petworth’s Chez Billy hones in on southern France not just in feel but cuisine, as well. And the menu works whether your parents are gourmands or not. Were you raised by steak and potato types?

Chez Billy Sud’s steak frites is a solid bet. Foodie folks? They’ll appreciate how chef Brendan L’Etoile makes even the most classic dishes feel fresh. A vichyssoise tastes as sophisticated as its name sounds when the clean, smooth potato soup is dressed up with a hint of lemon, a dollop of crème fraîche, some greens, and pops of yellow and purple nasturtium petals. A more decadent way to start the meal is with the oeuf en meurette, a red wine-poached duck egg on garlicky toast in a nest of chanterelles.

Before you break the news about your new boyfriend/girlfriend, make sure your parents order the duck à l’orange. The tender breast meat and crispy skin is served atop a bright sweet potato puree and sweet bitter orange sauce with farro and swiss chard. After a couple bites, mom and dad will hardly protest when you tell them about the 15-year age gap between you and your new love interest. On second thought, you should probably order a bottle of wine, too.

—Jessica Sidman

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 15

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Celebrate a raise or promotion at Le Diplomate.

Janes can only hope to look good in, and twangy music. Then the tasting menu of seven family-style dishes begins, each escalating in heat that will have them reaching for an off-dry Riesling or some Chang beer. They’ll be shocked to find out the tasting menu from acclaimed chef Johnny Monis is only $45. Good luck getting a value like that in New York. —Laura Hayes

Where should I go to celebrate a raise or promotion?

Le Diplomate

1601 14th St. NW; 202‑332‑3333; lediplomatedc.com

No matter when you dine at Stephen Starr’s brassy brasserie, it feels like there’s a party going on. The crowd is boisterous; the sound of conversation, clinking glasses, and clattering cutlery bounce through the Frenchified corner dining room. Servers weave between the tables with a speedy determination carrying magnificent towers of shellfish, wooden platters of super rich foie gras parfait, and epic cheese boards.

If you want to live large and spend money, Le Diplomate is more than happy to help.

So when you do sit down for a celebratory meal, let yourself indulge in the extravagance of the meal. Yes, we will have another bottle of wine. More foie as well, please!

—Nevin Martell You deserve it.

Where should I go for a drink before a hook-up?

Where should I meet a Tinder date?

Maketto

A&D

1351 H St. NE; (202) 838‑9972; maketto1351.com

1314 9th St. NW; (202) 290‑1804; andbardc.com

If you’re meeting up with someone you connected with by swiping right, you probably don’t know their drink preferences or interests. You’ll need to find a place that’s not fussy and has a selection of drinks for every taste. Enter A&D, the cozy but slightly anonymous Shaw spot perfect for hanging out with someone you’ve never met before. In addition to its quirky cocktail menu, which offers twists on classics like martinis and old fashioneds, the bar also serves sev16 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

eral varieties of bro beers (Yuengling, Narragansett) for less adventurous drinkers.

Should you find yourself hungry, pick out a few nostalgic snacks like Goldfish, chili mac, and French bread pizza, and get those awkward childhood stories out of the way.

A late-night game of foosball at the table in the back helps you fill awkward silences or determine how competitive your potential —Caroline Jones mate might be.

There are a half-dozen guys parked at the bar, well-dressed and waiting. One by one, their dates arrive. Maybe it’s the Californiaesque coolness of the H Street NE space or ready-to-share platters of Cambodian-Taiwanese food, but one thing’s for sure, this bar and restaurant is the place to flirt and potentially hook up. “We’ve got your whole Tinder date covered here,” says Mike Galyen, whose company Guerilla Vending built a custom vending machine for Maketto that’s got everything you’ll need for a night out.

The machine, located on Maketto’s second floor balcony, stocks all kinds of phone chargers, “so you can sit at the bar and swipe right to your heart’s content,” Galyen says. There are also breath mints, and for when things heat up, condoms. So far, the Magnums far outsell the regular-sized condoms. “Maybe they’re buying the Magnums as a joke, or maybe they’re trying to impress their date,” Galyen says. “Whatever it is, we keep restocking.” —Tim Ebner

Woo your gorgeous friend with 2 Birds 1 Stone’s piña colada.

Where should I meet my gorgeous friend for a first date?

2 Birds 1 Stone

1800 14th St. NW; 2birds1stonedc.com

The stakes here are obviously higher than they’d be with a stranger you met on OkCupid. To exit the friend zone, head to 2 Birds 1 Stone. Your best bet for a takeit-to-the-next-level evening is to secure one of the private nooks where you can sit side-by-side. Since your friend is gorgeous, you’ll be thankful that the dim lighting makes you look equally—er, almost—as good. Liquid courage is beautifully crafted no matter which cocktail you order. If you like piña coladas (and, you know, getting caught in the rain), 2 Birds makes a fresh version of the tropical drink that even the most sophisticated drinkers will appreciate. If all else fails, maybe the restrooms with their softcore porn wallpaper will get your friend in the mood for —Jessica Sidman something more?

Where’s a good place for a first date if you don’t drink?

Dolcezza Gelato Factory & Coffee Lab 550 Penn St. NE; (202) 333‑4646; dolcezzagelato.com

These days, it seems like drinking and dating are inextricably linked. But it doesn’t have to be that way. At the Dolcezza Factory, prospective romantic partners can bond over freshly churned gelato instead of booze. Each weekend, Dolcezza’s staffers throw open their walk-in freezers and invite patrons to peek inside during free tours. After a 10-minute twirl around the operation, attendees receive spoon-sized samples of the factory’s most recently made batch. Dolcezza co-owner Robb Duncan says the tours are perfect for kindling fiery romances— and whatever may come next. “We’ve definitely had first dates,” Duncan says. “We’ve also had people tell us they conceived a baby because of our dark chocolate gelato.” But no pressure: Dolcezza Factory’s close proximity to Union Market and the Angelika Pop-Up means a first date could just as easily move to dinner and a movie.

—Tim Regan

Where should I take someone for a third date?

Etto

1541 14th St. NW; (202) 232‑0920; ettodc.com

The third date can make or break your budding relationship, so it’s time to graduate from drinks to dinner. Go the Chipotle-casual route, and your date might think you’re cheap and not serious. Choose fine dining, and the formalness might stifle your conversation. Etto’s light-filled dining room is a solid Goldilocks-type choice (except

the food is much better than porridge). You can’t go wrong starting with any of the “on the board” antipasti—romanesco cauliflower, artichoke hearts, porcini mushroom salad—displayed on the counter. Then, share your hopes, dreams, and pizza. While you probably want to avoid anchovies on a first date, embrace them on your third date pie. If your companion doesn’t mind kissing you with fish breath, he or she is prob—Jessica Sidman ably a keeper.

Where can I take two dates who don’t know about each other and juggle them both at the same time, like an episode of Frasier?

Matchbox

713 H St. NW; (202) 289‑4441; matchboxrestaurants.com

We live in more “poly” times, but dating two women at once in a single restaurant still isn’t a good idea. If you must, though, the obvious choice is Matchbox’s Chinatown location. This place has more chambers than a cow’s belly. Stash Date 1 on the secluded second floor with some slidwashingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 17

The Partisan is for meat lovers.

ers, then hustle downstairs to meet Date 2 on the patio. The labyrinthine layout will make your trips to the “bathroom” less suspicious. Even better, the reasonably priced pizza will keep down the eventual bill from two simultaneous dates. The downside here is that your dates will be too full for any after-dinner activities, but you probably don’t deserve that. Give yourself a pat on the back anyway—somehow, Dr. Crane, you pulled this one off. —Will Sommer

What’s the best place for a double date with a couple you hate?

Daikaya

705 6th St. NW; (202) 589‑1600; daikaya.com

Ramen is not a meal meant for lingering. You’re supposed to eat it quickly, be18 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

fore the noodles get soggy, which means you can count on Daikaya’s ramen shop to get you in and out in less than 30 minutes.

The quick escape is key when your significant other has wrangled you into double date with a couple you can’t stand. Plus, the menu is limited—ramen and dumplings—so you won’t waste a lot of time deciding what to order or negotiating “share plates.” (If you don’t like the company, you definitely won’t want to share.) In fact, you can practically avoid talking altogether when there’s so much slurping to do. Should the conversation turn to what color they’re painting the living room, the rhythmic wok-action in Daikaya’s open kitchen provides some distraction. And if your “friends” want to continue to hang out, you can easily suggest a movie across the street at Gallery Place. There’s no talk—Jessica Sidman ing involved there.

Where should I take a meat-lover who’s basically Ron Swanson?

The Partisan

709 D St. NW; (202) 524‑5322; thepartisandc.com

Helmed by co-chefs Ed Witt and Nate Anda, this dark-toned, low-lit Penn Quarter eatery is a no-cuts-barred meatropolis. The duo conjures up creative ways to use pigs, cows, and fowl from the tip to the tail and all points in between. Start with a selection of charcuterie, thoughtfully categorized by flavor profile—spicy hot, bright, smoky—making sure to order the pickled half-smoke, Negroni-inspired salami, and bacon liverwurst.

There’s no hogging plates here—plan on eating family-style. The slow-cooked pork shoulder, with its epic spread of Napa cab-

bage cups, sauces, and pickled components, is great for groups, so you can build your own wraps. Bolder diners can opt for the roasted pig’s head, which wouldn’t look out of place in a Game of Thrones feast scene. But don’t worry: Meals at the Partisan don’t end like the Red Wedding. You will walk out alive, even if you do have a glorious case of the —Nevin Martell meat sweats.

Where can I find a vegetarian-friendly prix-fixe menu for a romantic date?

you’re on a “break” in a relationship. an anniversary is coming up and you had planned to go for dinner before the break. She still wants to go, but other than friendship, the future is still cloudy. where would you go?

Equinox

818 Connecticut Ave. NW; (202) 331‑8118; equinoxrestaurant.com

Why stop at vegetarian when Equinox will do you one better? The downtown staple that helped grandfather the seasonal menu movement in D.C. offers a $65 five-course vegan tasting menu that will make you completely forget that time you tried vegan “cheese.” Dishes, which change regularly, might include barbecue oyster mushrooms “on the half shell,” an asparagus terrine, or a barley and mushroom “risotto.” Even the “butter” served with the bread basket is made with olive oil. The great thing is that the kitchen really has fun with it, and you never get the feeling that they’re pandering. Indeed, chef and owner Todd Gray’s inspiration was his wife’s vegan dabblings, so his efforts to please non-meat eaters is a very personal one. For those who really must have dairy, a cheese plate from the regular menu can be ordered as a meal-ender. And if you manage to seal the deal with your date, come back for the vegan brunch buffet on Sundays.

—Rina Rapuano

Jimmy T’s Place 501 5th St SE; (202) 546-3646

Where can I eat something delicious and not hate myself for skipping the gym?

Beefsteak

Ah, yes: The we’re-on-a-break-butmaybe-I-still-love-you-but-probablyI’m-just-lonely anniversary dinner.

Who hasn’t been there?

First, you don’t take her to dinner; you go to breakfast. Why? Because

after the inevitable weeping and uncomfortable conversations about why your relationship just isn’t going to work out, you have the whole day in front of you to spend on activities that aren’t miserable. It also subtracts alcohol from the situation, which may seem like a negative, but in retrospect you’ll be glad

you didn’t make any booze-fueled mistakes.

Instead of going to a fancy brunch restaurant, take her to Jimmy T’s Place, a greasy spoon in a quiet section of Capitol Hill. It’s a tiny spot with a no-nonsense staff, so you’ll be forced to behave in a quiet and decent manner. It also serves excellent breakfast food (basics like eggs, fried potatoes, and scrapple made behind the counter) and classic diner coffee (hot, brown) in eclectic mugs. If this is your final meal with your former flame, Jimmy T’s will lend a certain cinematic charm to the memory with its tin ceilings, don’t-give-a-damn decor, and mismatched cutlery and dinnerware. (“As she sipped coffee from a Garfield mug…” your anonymous essay for Thought Catalog will begin.) If you’re seated near the bay window and the conversation starts to become a bummer, you can gaze out onto tree-lined East Capitol Street and people-watch.

Now let’s say your relationship is less-than-egalitarian, and you’re expected to pick up the bill. At Jimmy T’s, a cash-only establishment, the check is almost guaranteed to be less than $20. A pancake, two strips of bacon, and eggs will run you a whopping $4; the most expensive dish on the menu is still less than $8. So while you may walk away with a proverbial hole in your heart, you won’t walk away with one in your pocket.

—Sarah Anne Hughes

800 22nd St. NW; (202) 296‑1421; beefsteakveggies.com

Ugh: You just can’t drag yourself to an elliptical machine, and you’re feeling kind of guilty about it. Double ugh: the thought of another salad. Thankfully, José Andrés has taken his “vegetables are sexy” motto to a whole new level with his new fast-casual eatery Beefsteak (named after the tomato). Here, meat is the backup dancer and vegetables are Beyoncé. Make your own bowl with a garden’s worth of ingredients blanched then served with a choice of grains (quinoa, bulgur), sauces (garlic yogurt, spicy tomato), and toppings (pumpkin seeds, toasted seaweed). If the many combinations are too daunting, opt for one of four signature bowls like the Eden or Kimchi-Wa with optional add ons like a poached egg or salt-cured salmon. It’s so

filling and flavorful, you might just forget that you’re eating healthy—or that your —Jessica Sidman Fitbit hates you.

Where should my girlfriend and I take our parents for their first introduction to each other?

China Chilcano

418 7th St. NW; (202) 783‑0941; chinachilcano.com

A potentially awkward introduction re-

quires an ice-breaker, and China Chilcano in Penn Quarter is chock full of them. First off, you can unite the parents by ensuring they are equally baffled by the cuisine. “Is it Peruvian, Chinese, or Japanese?” they will ask. “Yes!” you will say triumphantly as they all look at each other shaking their heads in wonder. Reserve a lazy-susan table (because it’s interactive retro fun), then order a parade of sharable dishes they’ve never heard of and watch them bond over

actually loving it. We recommend the California “causagiri” (a fusion of a Peruvian potato dish called causa and Japanese nigiri sushi); the scallop siu mai; and the tam tam noodles, a delicious riff on Chinese dan dan noodles. Ply them with pisco sours, and your parents are primed and ready for your announcement that you’ve actually been living together for the past four months with no plans of getting married or delivering grandchildren. —Rina Rapuano washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 19

Where should I pop the question?

Fiola Mare

3100 K St. NW; (202) 628‑0065; fiolamaredc.com

Sure, you could be that couple who gets engaged in the middle of a restaurant. But this ain’t the movies, and you can do bet-

ter than that. Instead, we suggest you book a table at Fiola Mare, one of the prettiest dining rooms in town, and take her (or him) for a walk along the Georgetown waterfront before dinner. Proposing at sunset is a classic move for a reason, and the view of Roosevelt Island, the Potomac River, and the Kennedy Center is a more than memorable backdrop. Once your beloved says “yes” and all the tears have been dabbed, head inside for the royal treatment, which might include Champagne and roses if you —Rina Rapuano call ahead.

what’s a good place to start a girls’ night out to celebrate my separation and impending divorce?

Mockingbird Hill 1843 7th St. NW; (202) 316-9396; drinkmoresherry.com

Considering you’ve likely been dealing with some heavy stuff lately, here’s a whole girls’ night itinerary that’s sure to help you shake off that bastard. (You did say “celebrate.”)

Start at Mockingbird Hill in Shaw, a dignified, grown-up place where the cocktails taste great and you can let your friends know how you’re doing.

After all, if there’s drinking involved, it’s good to get all that emotional stuff out of the way before you’re too far gone.

While you’re there, order a few snacks to give your stomach a fighting chance to handle what you’re about to throw at it. Try the toasted bread with boquerones, a plate of Manchego with cocoa-covered corn nuts, and an order of pickled garlic—a little insurance policy against ditching your friends later for some random hookup.

Following a couple rounds here, head over to nearby All Souls Bar (725 T St. NW), where the cocktails pack a wallop, you can amuse yourself with the jukebox, and the whole place feels a bit more like a party. Order a drink with bourbon or rye and feel yourself starting to let loose.

Your next mission is to hop in a cab and head over to Showtime Lounge (113 Rhode Island Ave. NW), a subterranean cash-only bar in Bloomingdale that seems like the kind of place destined to be filled to the brim with smug hipsters but is delightfully diverse. At this point in the evening, you should be decidedly less particular about what you’re drinking, and the fanciest thing you can risk here is a gin and tonic. Better yet, order a whiskey shot and a Natty Boh for

20 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Where should I take my wife for our 10th anniversary?

Marcel’s

2401 Pennsylvania Ave. NW; (202) 296‑1166; marcelsdc.com

If you’re looking for something that shouts Really Big Deal, this Robert Wiedmaier spot in Foggy Bottom has just the right ratio of gravitas to celebratory vibe. For one thing, it has an outstanding Champagne program, and a big anniversary deserves some bubbly. Plus, all that wine will help make the formal dining room feel a bit less stuffy. You’ll both feel pampered by the luxe service, and you’ll bond over the parade of truly outstanding dishes coming your way.

If you call ahead, they’ll likely trot out a few personal touches like a special menu printed with a congratulatory message and a gussied-up dessert plate. Sure, it’s pricey— tasting menus range from $90 to $150 per person—but maybe the 10th anniversary is all about reminding her that she’s worth it.

—Rina Rapuano

Where can I take someone who I’m only meeting with because I feel terrible saying “no?”

Donburi

2438 18th St. NW; (202) 629‑1047; facebook.com/donburidc

$5 and hit the tiny, makeshift dance floor. You might find a band or a DJ, depending on the night, but the music will always be awesome.

If it’s not too late, and you’re hun-

gry again, cross the street to El Camino (108 Rhode Island Ave. NW), where you’ll find late-night tacos and, of course, a girl’s best friend: a well—Rina Rapuano made margarita.

There comes a time when “I have to stay home and water my plants” won’t fly as an excuse anymore. Whether it’s a persistent acquaintance or a pity date, sometimes you just need to suck it up and agree to meet for a meal. So it might as well be a great meal that’s cheap and quick. Donburi in Adams Morgan doesn’t have to eat up more than 30 minutes from your day or $10 from your wallet (although the barbecued eel rice bowl is worth a splurge for nearly $18). Even if your company is meh, panko-crusted fried chicken or salmon sashimi atop perfect beads of white rice won’t be. The sweet and savory donburi sauce with mirin, soy sauce, and dashi that accompanies most bowls is a magical gravy. And because the counter seating faces the open kitchen, you don’t have to spend too much time actually looking at the other person. Cold hearted? Hey, you introduced them to Donburi, didn’t you?

—Jessica Sidman You’re a saint.

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 21

Enjoy the Red Hen’s grilled octopus at the bar.

Where’s the best place to break up with someone?

Afterwords Cafe

1517 Connecticut Ave. NW; (202) 387‑3825; kramers.com

There’s something poetic about closing the last chapter of your relationship at a place called Afterwords. But the Dupont bar and cafe, attached to Kramerbooks, also has some practical perks as a break-up spot.

Whether the heartbreaker or the heartbroken, someone is going to want a quick exit by the end. Afterwords Cafe provides several escape routes (three, to be exact), so you don’t have to awkwardly walk out together. But before anyone flees the scene with runny mascara, there should probably be alcohol—or at least a huge slice of Death by Chocolate cake—to soften the blow. Afterwords’ bar is a low-stakes place for a beer or glass of wine with the added 22 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

benefit of an extensive selection of cakes and pies so you can eat your feelings. Not to mention, you don’t even have to leave the building for emotional support. Selfhelp books are just a few steps away.

—Jessica Sidman

Where should I go for dinner at a bar without the bar atmosphere?

The Red Hen

1822 1st St. NW; (202) 525‑3021; theredhendc.com

Don’t even bother trying to make a reservation at the Red Hen. Aside from the

fact that tables book up well in advance, the best seats are actually for walk-ins at the bar. In fact, the 18-seat, U-shaped bar is the focal point of the dining room, not a counter shoved to the side. The tall chairs provide the perfect perch for checking out the wood-fired grills that add smoke and flames to dishes like grilled octopus and and a spicy, lemony chicken “fra diavolo.”

There’s no special bar snacks menu here.

Rather, dig into a full dinner, and don’t skip the homemade pastas, especially the rigatoni with fennel sausage ragu. A bar seat also provides some quality time with your bartender, which you’ll want given the Red Hen’s unique but concise drink menu with orange wine, funky cider, and bitter cocktails. If you did put your name down for a table, by the time it’s ready, you won’t want it anyway. —Jessica Sidman

Where should I go if I want to eat alone in a dark bar?

Granville Moore’s

1238 H St. NE; (202) 399‑2546; granvillemoores.com

If the nine-step wikiHow article “How to Eat Alone” is to be believed, dining solo is a complicated and nerve-wracking experience that requires preparation and fortitude of spirit. “Just say ‘table for one please’ or ‘it’s just me this evening.’

Smile,” it advises. “It’s OK, they want to serve you and are happy you came.”

With all due respect to wikiHow, that’s bullshit. Not only is eating alone relaxing, but it does not require apologetic politeness, especially at a place like Granville Moore’s.

Located in an unassuming rowhouse on H Street NE, Granville Moore’s can offer you three things: spectacular Belgian food,

Trick your non-beer geek friends into dinner at a brewery with Right Proper’s pork rind nachos.

low-key staff, and the feeling of privacy in a public place. The interior is dark—dim lighting, limited natural light, rich brown wood—so if you do feel some (unnecessary) anxiety about being alone, you at least won’t feel exposed. With bars on the first and second floors, there are plenty of stools to occupy, and the bartenders are always friendly and unobtrusive. Talking is an option but doesn’t feel like a requirement. Most importantly, the mussels and frites are the best in the city. The lack of a dining partner will be forgotten as you pry open perfectly cooked bivalves swimming in a blue cheese, pork belly, and white wine base.

—Sarah Anne Hughes

Where do I go when I want to trick my non-beergeek friends into having dinner at a brewery?

Right Proper Brewing Company 624 T St. NW; (202) 607‑2337; rightproperbrewery.com

Right Proper’s back bar is a perfect perch from which beer lovers can admire the Shaw brewpub’s shiny tanks and rows of stacked barrels while tasting housemade beers. But when dining with friends less into brews, try the front restaurant, where it’s less obvious this place is all about beer.

They’ll likely be distracted by the modern rustic aesthetic or well-stocked cheese case.

If not, focus them on chef Sarah Biglan’s comforting pub food menu, full of dishes accented with Southern or international flair like the pork rind nachos, chilled lo mein salad, or eight-hour lamb French dip.

Then slip them the list of daily specials, which has featured delights ranging from menudo and beef cheek chimichangas to fried catfish bites and wings done a dozen ways. Your friends will be none the wiser as you point them toward the selection of cider, wine (on tap and in bottles), and spirits, while you order from head brewer Nathan Zeender’s always impressive drafts.

And for more adventurous companions willing to try some “fancy” beer, Zeender is known for flavorful, well-balanced brews— many of them low in alcohol—that are just good drinks and thus a perfect entry point for the uninitiated. After a few trips, these beer-weary friends just may start dragging —Tammy Tuck you to breweries. washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 23

Where should I take the cocktail snob in my life?

Barmini

855 E St. NW; (202) 393‑4451; minibarbyjoseandres.com

It can be hard to impress a person who owns more amaros than video games and finds nothing eye-roll-worthy about a hand-carved cube of artisanal ice. Barmini, the cocktail “laboratory” from José Andrés, not only has fancy schmancy ice, but a slew of techniques and ingredients that you won’t find elsewhere. The Highlander, a somewhat savory concoction of Scotch, mezcal, and rosemary, comes with a crème de cacao “cloud” whose smoke-like vapors add chocolatey notes as they spill out of the wine glass that holds this head-turning drink. The cotton candy old fashioned, another Barmini staple, is topped with a fluff of Angostura bitters-flavored cotton candy, which dissolves as the whiskey drink is poured into the glass. If your companion prefers classics to gimmicks, Barmini has those, too. After all, the cocktail menu brags more than 100 offerings, organized by spirit, and bartenders are always happy to make you something based on your preferences. It’s not the cheapest spot for a tipple—most beverages are in the $14 to $16 range—but such is the price for one of the most unique cocktail bars in the city, if not the country. Not only will the snob in your life be pleased, you may even stop rolling your eyes at those crystal clear —Jessica Sidman cubes of ice.

Where do you go when you want to drink alone and live tweet the conversations of the idiots around you?

Burger Tap & Shake

2200 Pennsylvania Ave. NW; (202) 587‑6258; burgertapshake.com

I can barely write this over the din of reader outrage. “Does BTS even count as a drinking spot?!” go the complaints. “Who wants to drink alone at a burger joint?!” shrill the people. Before you reach for your torches and pitchforks, hear me out: If you’re in the mood to live-tweet inane or mystifying conversations around you, there’s really no better place to go than the fast food joint where George Washington University students converge alongside hospital visitors. “They don’t know if he’s going to make it,” I once heard there. Meanwhile, the students will offer you the kind 24 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

where’s the best place for a D.C. sports fan to drink?

The Pug 1234 H St. NE; thepugdc.com

The Pug billed Wednesday, May 13 as the “home team showcase.” The Capitals were at Madison Square Garden facing off against the New York Rangers in game seven. The Wizards were down in Atlanta, tied 2-2 with the Hawks. Meanwhile, the Nationals had just beaten the Arizona Diamondbacks with a 9th inning grand slam. And over at RFK Stadium, D.C. United had just scored its second, and game-winning, goal against Orlando. Wednesday night was on-track to become a perfect, four-team win situation.

There are seven televisions inside the Pug, all of them are tuned to D.C. sports, and that night, the crowd was standing room only.

“This fills my heart with joy to hear people cheering and chanting,” said owner Tony Tomelden, a life-long, diehard D.C. sports fan. “Seeing all these red shirts, it’s really exciting.

But I’m also extremely terrified. I’m terrified of the Caps and the Wizards losing, of course!”

In this cramped H Street NE bar, we were all Tomelden. We sat and watched feeling terrified. We had come to expect the worst. You see, this championship-starved city really only has one coping mechanism when it comes to professional sports: booze.

Fortunately, the Pug understands this ailment and pairs D.C. sports with beer accordingly. For the home team showcase, there were $5 draft specials on all D.C. beers: Hellbender’s IPA, DC Brau’s El Hefe Speaks!, and Atlas Brew Works’ District Commons. The bar also pays its respects to Baltimore with beers from the Brewer’s Art and Union Brewing. The beer specials are a welcome distraction from the drama playing out across the screens.

Just like any tormented sports fan, the Pug has a variety of superstitions.

“Local sports first and foremost must be turned on, and we don’t turn up the volume for any of the games,” Tomelden says. “Bad things happen when the sound is on. I’ve seen spoiled no-hitters and game-losing errors.” Instead, the Pug plays music to fit the hometown vibe from bands like Chuck Brown & the Soul Searchers.

Watch the Capitals and Wizards at the Pug.

Later that night, inevitably, the Capitals lost to the Rangers in overtime. The Wizards fell short to Atlanta, 81-82. From

across the bar, Tomelden’s face said it all: despair. But hey, at least the D.C. — Tim Ebner beer doesn’t suck.

WINNERS Formal Fine Dining Restaurant of the Year

Upscale Casual Restaurant of the Year

Wine Program of the Year

Favorite Gathering Place of the Year

Everyday Casual Restaurant of the Year

Cocktail Program of the Year

Upscale Casual Brunch of the Year

Rising Culinary Star of the Year George Pagonis

Beer Program of the Year

Service Program of the Year

Everyday Casual Brunch of the Year

Pastry Chef of the Year Agnes Chin

New Restaurant of the Year

Regional Food & Beverage Producer of the Year

Restaurateur of the Year José Andrés & Rob Wilder

Favorite Fast Bites of the Year

Manager of the Year Joseph Cerione

Allied Member of the Year

Employee of the Year Evan Labb

Major Sponsors

Chef of the Year Victor Albisu

ramw.org

Duke Zeibert Capital Acheivement Award Herbert Miller The RAMMY Awards Gala honors the exceptional talent of those working in Metropolitan Washington’s vibrant restaurant and foodservice industry. View photos of the Gala on therammys.org and on social media #RAMMYS15.

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 25

Where should I go if I want to get drunk and scream about Sonic the Hedgehog?

Atlas Arcade of first-world-problems sound bytes that make for Twitter gold. “My mom would never let me get a second hole pierced in my ears,” griped one college-aged woman at BTS one time. Yeah, I tweeted it. Or how about “I only date blue-eyed men”?

Also tweeted. If you can handle the vocal fry, you’ll have plenty of material for —Emily Q. Hazzard your followers.

1236 H St. NE; (202) 399‑2323; dcatlasarcade.com

There are few places in D.C. where you can drink while being entertained on the cheap.

The District has its fair share of sports bars, but they require a baseline tolerance for sports. Establishments like Penn Social and Rocket Bar have pool tables and bar games, but the clientele, especially when drunk, can be hard to tolerate. That’s why

I’m forever grateful for Atlas Arcade, the H Street NE dive bar plus old-school arcade. It houses quarter-operated games like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Simpsons, Big Buck Hunter, and Revolution X, a rail shooter game that features the band Aerosmith. A dollar plunked down at the four-seat bar buys you an hour of Sega or Nintendo 64 time, with several games to choose from, including Sonic the Hedgehog and Super Mario Bros.

Cans of beer start at $3.50, and snacks like Pop-Tarts are available for a couple of

bucks. A few beers combined with a competitive nature usually results in someone screaming about Sonic’s inability to just GO FASTER AND GET SOME RINGS ALREADY. This behavior, while embarrassing the next day, is mercifully tolerated and even encouraged by other patrons who just want to see you get past —Sarah Anne Hughes level one.

What’s the best bar to go to when you just quit grad school and have no idea what you’re going to do with your life?

Red Derby

3718 14th St. NW; (202) 291‑5000; redderby.com

You’re short on cash, flush with time, and in need of some kind of serendipity. There’s really only one place to go: Red Derby. Bohs and Strohs are $1 before 8 p.m. every day, and you have no good reason not to start drinking early. The waitstaff is the coolest around, and the patrons tend to be an extroverted bunch. As the beers fly, so will the conversation and probably the Cards Against Humanity decks. Roll with it. Get inspired. Your career revelations might not seem quite so revelatory when you awake from your nine-hour power nap at 5 a.m., but you’ll be relieved when you check your wallet and find that you somehow dropped just 10 bucks in a full afternoon of drinking. (Keep in mind the bar is cash only.) If you go back again the next day, surely better ideas will come to you. Or hey, maybe —Aaron Wiener the Derby’s hiring?

Where should I go for the best, most reasonably priced business lunch downtown?

The Oval Room

800 Connecticut Ave. NW; (202) 463‑8700; ovalroom.com

The Oval Room’s Cuban sandwich is available at the bar with a drink and dessert for $20.

26 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Three things matter at a business lunch: Can I afford it? Will it be quick? And can I bring an undetectable buzz back to the office? The Oval Room hits all the marks with its $20 business lunch at the bar, which includes one entrée, one dessert, and one drink (wine or a soft drink). The Oval Room is particularly worthy of a woo-me lunch because of its recent acquisition of executive chef John Melfi. He opened Fiola Mare under chef Fabio Trabocchi, but that’s not to say the food is always fussy.

Try Melfi’s pork belly Cuban sandwich

By Todd English

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sion of delicacies which aren’t always on the regular menu. The tasting, which you should plan to reserve up to a month in advance, starts at $140, but can go higher. If your company doesn’t have that kind of cash to throw around, opt for a lunch meeting instead. A bento box with a choice of sushi, fried chicken, or grilled salmon comes with tempura, sashimi, pickles, miso soup, and rice for an accounting department-friendly $13.

—Jessica Sidman

Where can I go to pretend I’m eating in New York?

Wiseguy NY Pizza

300 Massachusetts Ave. NW, #1; (202) 408‑7800; wiseguynypizza.com

Bring a group of colleagues to Central.

or corned duck breast Reuben. Desserts are light—think seasonal sorbet or devil’s food cake—with the exception of the cookie plate you can opt to bring back to —Laura Hayes the office.

Where do I take an off-therecord source for drinks?

Venetian Room Bar & Lounge at the Hotel Lombardy

2019 Pennsylvania Ave. NW; (202) 828‑2600; hotellombardy.com

The Venetian Room is as quiet and muffled as crypt, and it’s decorated in the neo-traditional “no one ever seems to come here, why bother updating the decor?” style that is something of a signature for hotel bars.

You and your secret source can have a totally private conversation at one of the small booths or tables, because the furnishings (everything is velvet and cushiony, down to the walls and drapes) absorb all the sound.

It’s rare that there are more than a few occupied tables at any given time, so you can both find seats and be pretty sure no one is 28 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

going to walk in on you. The likeliest scenario, no matter the hour, is that you’re the only ones there. The drinks epitomize nononsense—don’t expect a cocktail menu with local herb infusions or housemade bitters. The Manhattans are perfectly serviceable. At the very least, it’s a nicer place to meet your source than a Rosslyn —Emily Q. Hazzard parking garage.

(both with views of the kitchen). Perhaps best of all, though, is that you won’t have to listen to that guy from Gaithersburg who won’t eat anything more daring than a ham sandwich complain about the food. There’s fried chicken on the menu, for Pete’s sake.

And it’ll be the best damn fried chicken —Rina Rapuano he’s ever had.

Where should I take a large group of colleagues (10 to 20 people) to dinner?

Where should I go to impress a client? Yes, I have an expense account.

1001 Pennsylvania Ave. NW; (202) 626‑0015; centralmichelrichard.com

1503 17th St. NW; (202) 462‑8999; sushitaro.com

Central

Work dinners usually involve boring, chain-like restaurants chosen to appeal to the lowest common denominator of tastes.

But what if you could find a reasonably priced, centrally located spot with beautifully executed food that will actually please everyone? Central, founded by award-winning chef Michel Richard, is exactly that place. It’ll make the office planners happy because of its flexibility; you can book a private room that seats up to 16 or a semiprivate table that accommodates up to 25

I was born in Manhattan and raised in the Empire State, so I have always had an innate affinity for a New York-style pizza. I love the simplicity of it: crust, sauce, cheese. Sure, you can get fancy with the toppings or perk things up with few shakes of red pepper flakes, but those are purely optional. When I moved to the District eight years ago, I searched in vain for a Gotham-inspired pizzeria to satiate my need for a taste of home. None of them stacked up (though the absence of New York-style slices did help me fall deeply in love with the traditions of Neapolitan pizzaiolos). But then Wiseguy NY Pizza arrived in Mount Vernon Triangle in late 2012. Initially, I was suspicious, but a single visit was enough to convince me they’re the real deal. Sold by the slice or as full pies, these pizzas embody NYC’s traditions: foldable crust that can still bear the weight of the toppings, savory tomato sauce with a hint of sweetness, and a grease-rich layer of gooey mozz. If you want to go beyond the basics, the spicy Brooklyn Bridge with sausage, extra cheese, and onions should not be missed.

Close your eyes and you just might think you’re up in one of the five boroughs.

—Nevin Martell

Sushi Taro

Please, just say “no” to a steakhouse. It’s predictable and cliché, and does red meat really seal the deal like it used to? Instead, throw down the company’s AmEx for one of the most unique Japanese restaurants in the city. Sushi Taro is as serious about its super fresh fish as you are about your business. For those really, really important clients, nothing says “what recession?” like a reservation at the omakase counter in the restaurant’s private back room, where you and your guests will be treated to a progres-

Where can I drink while I’m expecting?

Trummer’s on Main

7134 Main St., Clifton, Va.; (703) 266‑1623; trummersonmain.com

I’m hot, pregnant, and always thirsty. Sadly, my requests for non-alcoholic drinks are usually met with a run-down of (gun) sodas and (carton) juices. But at Trummer’s on Main, co-owner and mixologist Stefan Trummer always features two mocktails on his drinks list and is happy to work with guests to de-

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velop custom virgin beverages featuring seasonal produce like watermelon and rhubarb plus fresh herbs like sage, rosemary, and mint. One favorite off-the-menu puckerer combines Granny Smith apple purée, sweet lime juice, apple juice, and dill. Trummer, who has a four-year-old and an 11-monthold with his co-owner wife Victoria, says mocktails are also popular with kids. The restaurant’s new “Petit Gourmand Menu” is tailored to a younger set and features dishes like horseradish crusted salmon and fried arancini. Just ask what the 10-year-old next —Jessica Strelitz to you is drinking.

where can I go out for dinner with multiple kids without feeling like all the sub-30-year-olds are judging us?

Where can I have a nice dinner out with a baby or toddler?

Firefly

1310 New Hampshire Ave. NW; (202) 861‑1310; firefly‑dc.com

Many babies sleep well in a room filled with the ambient noise of chattering voices and clinking glasses and silverware, especially when snuggled up in a car carrier or stroller.

If you’re lucky, you should be able make it through a few courses without interruption.

But if your small person is alert, mobile, and craving solid foods, it can be tougher to find a kid-friendly restaurant that isn’t going to expect you to eat fried chicken fingers too.

Firefly, a hotel restaurant that doesn’t feel like one, has catered to tiny diners for years— from the oversized cookie that children can decorate while they wait for their meal and eat as a personalized dessert to several kids’ menus, including one tailored to the underfive set that features grilled chicken bites and baby shrimp. Request a table near the front windows, which provides both the distraction of bustling Dupont and a closed-in patio for wanderers, or in the back dining area if you prefer a quieter spot for a light sleeper or a sound cushion for a loud toddler. There is a changing station in one of the unisex bathrooms (a rarity in higher-end D.C. dining establishments) and plenty of boosters and high chairs to go around. Sunday nights attract the most family diners, so book in advance or take this as a warning.

—Jessica Strelitz

Where should I take a friend with multiple food allergies to dinner?

Ripple

3417 Connecticut Ave. NW; (202) 244‑7995; rippledc.com

Ripple general manager Danny Fisher 30 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Fuego Cocina y Tequileria 2800 Clarendon Blvd., Arlington; (571) 970-2180; fuegova.com

While the downstairs bar and lounge area can be a raucous singles-sphere, if you head up the winding staircase, you’ll be rewarded with a spacious, relaxed dining area at this Mexican hotspot in Clarendon.

The most popular time for families to dine is brunch or early dinner hours.

They gravitate toward the upstairs area’s oversized booths and perimeter tables that offer plenty of space for strollers, kids’ chairs, diaper bags, and everything you need to bring to ensure a pleasant dining experience for all. The second floor also features colorful lighting and large, unisex bathrooms with changing stations.

has a fear that predates his five years overseeing the popular Cleveland Park dining room. He remembers a wine trip in Oregon that ended with an emergency visit to the hospital after someone with a severe nut allergy accidentally ate a dish with almonds. “We’re pretty intense about it,” he says of the Ripple staff. “It’s kind of

Smaller diners are offered interactive menus with games and Spanish lessons, as well as crayons and Wikki Stix for tabletop arts-and-crafts. “Our mentality is the happier the kids, the happier the parents,” says general manager Alan Grublauskas.

The regular menu offers plenty that kids will want to eat off your plate— from creamy queso fundido to crispy sopes with pork and black beans. Meanwhile, the kids’ menu is appetizing enough that the sharing can go both ways. Offerings include smaller sizes of tempura-battered or grilled fish, thinly pounded chicken Milanesa, and shrimp tacos with sides like sweet plantains, Mexican rice, or crispy fried yucca.

Fuego’s deep margarita list also yields treats for the non-drinking set.

The hibiscus, pineapple, guava, and

lime drinks that are often blended with tequila and triple sec can also be made into alcohol-free agua frescas. Freshly squeezed orange and grapefruit juices often make it into sippy cups. But every twentysomething in the room will be eyeing your kid’s float made with Mexican Coke or root beer (made for Passion Food Hospitality sister restaurant Burger Tap & Shake in Foggy Bottom) topped with vanilla ice cream.

That’s not the only sweet thing that you’ll want to enjoy with your tots.

Warm churros, dusted with cinnamon and brown sugar, come with a caramel dipping sauce. It’s a sticky, messy ending, but hey, you don’t have to clean it up. Which reminds me: If you bring in your brood, tip well.

—Jessica Strelitz

drilled into our servers that we don’t need anyone having to go to the hospital or using an EpiPen.” For that reason, he recommends diners with allergies contact the restaurant the day they plan to come in, and the kitchen will do whatever it takes

to ensure the safety of that customer. The kitchen will sanitize all stations, change out the boiling water, and basically take all precautionary measures possible. “Unless it’s a laundry list of issues, our staff is prepared,” says Fisher. “It’s just something that we —Rina Rapuano take very seriously.”

DCJAZZ FESTIVAL JUNE 10 –16, 2015

D C J A Z Z F E S T.O R G

by DCJAZZFESTATTHE Co-presented The Washington Post

HAMILTONLIVE

600 14th Street, NW

Family owned and operated Italian restaurant

Alexander M. Padro

TUESDAY: $12 ANY PASTA 1926 9th St. NW • 202-797-0523

WEDNESDAY: CARAFE OF WINE $15 WITH ENTREE PURCHASE THURSDAY: ANY APPETIZER $9 WITH ENTREE PURCHASE

Reservations can be made through Opentable

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 31

TAKE METROBUS AND METRORAIL TO THE...

DC JAZZFESTIVAL JUNE 10–16, 2015 Carbo-load with Osteria Morini’s crab and sea urchin bucatini.

wads of substitute starch. That’s why Urbana Executive Chef Ethan McKee put a lot of elbow grease into coming up with the perfect formula for the gluten-free dough he uses for pasta (chickpea and fava bean flour) and pizza (rice and soy flour). His gluten-free gemelli noodles can be topped with any pasta sauce on the menu for $2 extra, and all four pizzas can be made gluten-free for the same up-charge. There’s even better news for pals weary of ordering the one protein and side that skirts gluten on a menu. McKee says 90 percent of Urbana’s Mediterranean-inspired dishes —Laura Hayes are fair game.

I skipped breakfast and I’m starving.

Where should I go?

Bub and Pop’s

1815 M St. NW; (202) 457‑1111; bubandpops.com

Where can I go to carboload before the big race?

Osteria Morini

301 Water St. SE; (202) 484‑0660; osteriamorini.com/washington‑dc

Osteria Morini is already on track to sell 45,000 bowls of pasta in 2015, according to chef Matt Adler. That’s one bowl for every fan attending a sold-out Nationals game down the street, with 3,000 ticket-holders going back for seconds. The pasta section of the Navy Yard restaurant’s menu is 10 lines deep, making it the perfect pick for runners 32 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

looking to carbo-load before a big race. No judgment on whether it’s a marathon or the end of your couch-to-5K program. The Romagna-inspired bowls range from seasonal offerings to signature dishes such as bucatini with crab, sea urchin, basil, and Calabrian chili. Adler reaches deep into his Rolodex of pasta shapes, pulling out unfamiliar squiggles, coils, and pockets like casarecce, pansotti, and gramigna, to name a few. Finish with pastry chef Alex Levin’s peanut butter and chocolate budino. The Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup on steroids will get you through —Laura Hayes that last mile.

Where should I go for a nice dinner with someone who doesn’t eat gluten?

Urbana

2121 P St. NW; (202) 956‑6650; urbanadc.com

Gluten-free pizza shouldn’t taste as dried out as the Nilla wafers you used to dunk in milk for an after-school snack. Nor should gluten-free noodles clump into gummy

You’re off to a good start. If you skipped breakfast and pushed lunch to 2 or 3 p.m., even better. Bub and Pop’s is best visited when you’re not just starving but frazzled and feeling like you deserve a reward. You’ll want to be in the right state of mind to accept the optional fried egg on a beef brisket sandwich that’s already rich with Gouda, veal jus, and horseradish cream. The bolognese parmesan sandwich—loaded up with meatballs, pork belly, and brisket— might sound like a bit much, and that’s exactly the point. Fill up further with a side of homemade chips and creamy, salty French onion dip, or consider the soup of the day, where seasonal ingredients get put to their best use. And while you’re at it, you might as well go for some pickles, like the giardiniera or “bowl of fire” with a variety of extra hot peppers. Bub and Pop’s is always turning out quirky specials, so don’t pass up any extras that might be gone tomorrow. I might have missed one of my past favorites—a chilled pea soup with pickled watermelon, radish, dragon fruit, and jalapeño—if I’d eaten breakfast that day and was only looking for a ho-hum half-sandwich lunch. Chef Jonathan Taub comes up with unusual flavors and experiments much more than your average hoagie joint. If breakfast makes you less likely to try them, you’re better off without it.

—Zach Rausnitz

DCJAZZ FESTIVAL

Sunday, June 14 at 8:00 PM

THE COOKERS w/George Cables, George Cables, Billy Harper, Donald Harrison, Billy Hart, Eddie Henderson, Cecil McBee and David Weiss Sixth & I Historic Synagogue, 600 I Street, NW

JUNE 10 –16, 2015

D C J A Z Z F E S T.O R G

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NOTICE OF PROPOSED RULEMAKING Zoning Regulations Review (ZRR) Zoning Commission Case No. 08-06A The Zoning Regulations Review, also known as the ZRR, is a project that began in 2007 led by the Office of Planning (OP) to revise the DC Zoning Regulations. This is the first time the Zoning Regulations have been comprehensively revised since 1958.

The Zoning Commission for the District of Columbia, pursuant to its authority under § 1 of the Zoning Act of 1938, approved June 20, 1938 (52 Stat. 797, as amended; D.C. Official Code § 6-641.01 (2012 Repl.)), hereby gives notice of its intent to amend Title 11 (Zoning) of the District of Columbia Municipal Regulations (DCMR). The public comment period will be open until Sepetmber 25th at 5:00 p.m. The public is encouraged to submit comments on the proposed text.

The following is a list of documents that comprise the proposed text as approved by the Zoning Commission on December 11, 2014: Subtitle A - Authority and Applicability Subtitle B - Definitions, Rules of Measurement, and Use Categories Subtitle C - General Rules Subtitle D - Residential House (R) Zones Subtitle E - Residential Flat (RF) Zones Subtitle F - Residential Apartment (RA) Zones Subtitle G - Mixed-Use (MU) Zones Subtitle H - Neighborhood Mixed-Use (NC) Zones Subtitle I - Downtown (D) Zones Subtitle J - Production, Distribution, and Repair (PDR) Zones Subtitle K - Special Purpose Zones Subtitle U - Use Permissions Subtitle W - Specific Zone Boundaries Subtitle X - General Procedures Subtitle Y - Board of Zoning Adjustment Rules of Practice and Procedure Subtitle Z - Zoning Commission Rules of Practice and Procedure All documents can be found on the Office of Zoning website at www.dcoz.dc.gov.

The public is encouraged to submit comments on the proposed text. Comments should be filed using one or more of the following methods: • • • •

The online ZRR Comment Module at www.dcoz.dc.gov under the “ZRR” tab The online Interactive Zoning Information System (IZIS) at www.dcoz.dc.gov By e-mail to zcsubmissions@dc.gov By mail to 441 4th Street, N.W., Suite 200-S, Washington, D.C. 20001

All comments should be submitted no later than 5:00 p.m. on Sepetmber 25, 2015.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact the Office of Zoning at 202727-6311 or dcoz@dc.gov.

District of Columbia Office of Zoning

441 4th Street, NW, Suite 200-S - Washington, DC 20001 (202) 727-6311 - dcoz@dc.gov - www.dcoz.dc.gov

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 33

DCJAZZ FESTIVAL

CAPITALBOP DC JAZZ LOFT SERIES June 11: June 12: June 13:

JUNE 10 –16, 2015

Hecht Warehouse, 1401 New York Avenue, NE

D C J A Z Z F E S T.O R G

plated cocktail shakers and hand-painted serving bowls at Salt & Sundry. Hungry again? Time for some Olde Salts oysters and a crab cake at Rappahannock Oyster Bar. Make it the best day ever by capping off your eating tour at Dolcezza’s nearby factory for a scoop of Valrhona chocolate —Jessica Sidman amargo gelato.

Where can I get leisurely coffee without fighting for a seat?

Culture Coffee

709 Kennedy St. NW; (202) 507‑8349; culturecoffeedc.com

A gaggle of vultures lurks at Tryst, waiting to snap up any seat that becomes available.

Taking a load off at the newer coffee options throughout Northwest D.C. isn’t much easier. And when you finally do secure a seat, you feel guilty about hogging it if you post up for an hour or two with a book. But if you’re on Kennedy Street NW, there’s a spot where you’ll feel no such pressure. Culture Coffee is as laid-back as cafes get. The coffee, roasted by Alexandria’s M.E. Swing Company, is tasty and affordable, and if you prefer something caffeine-free, smoothies and milkshakes are available. People on the retail-starved street seem eternally grateful to have a comfy gathering spot. Best of all, you’ll never have —Aaron Wiener to lurk for a seat.

Where can I spend the entire day just hanging out and eating?

Union Market

1305 5th St. NE; unionmarketdc.com

Some people like to make a whole day out of hiking, visiting museums, or shopping.

Then there are those who believe the ultimate way to spend a Saturday is eating, eating, and eating. (And drinking.) Union Market provides enough variety that you can’t fully experience it unless you stay all day. Kick off your morning with a pourover coffee from Peregrine—or a bloody mary from Buffalo & Bergen—then migrate to Neopol Savory Smokery for a New Yorktransporting everything bagel with cream cheese and lox. Digest over a film at the Angelika Pop-Up a block away then return to the food emporium at lunchtime for a porkstrami sandwich at Red Apron Butcher or fish and chips from District Fishwife.

Idle away the afternoon outdoors with ping pong and piña colada slushies from Suburbia, a refurbished 1960s Airstream trailer that serves frozen cocktails. Next, pick up some handmade noodles and kimchi at Honeycomb and browse through gold34 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

TRIO OF TRIOS THUNDERCAT AT THE WAREHOUSE AACM AT 50

Where should I go to make my Instagram followers jealous?

dining days. White tablecloths, Limoges china, excellent service, and a historic dining room—as well as the ability to hear your table’s conversation—all signal that this is no rowdy college-student hangout. Call ahead and ask for a corner table or something in the ultra-quiet Manassas Room on the first floor. General manager Rich Kaufman says the restaurant has one repeat customer who needs a quiet spot for health reasons. “We always find a suitable, tucked-away table for their party,” he says. —Rina Rapuano

Rose’s Luxury

717 8th St. SE; (202) 580‑8889; rosesluxury.com

Get your phone’s camera ready before you even enter the green-trimmed door. A photo of the line down the block is the ultimate way to show off your foodie cred.

(Pro-tip: focus on the people behind you, not ahead of you. The fact that you arrived 45 minutes before opening and you’re the 53rd person in line is just depressing.)

Once inside, you’ll find an Instagrammer’s paradise of flowery, gold-patterned china and quirky art with T-shirt-ready slogans like “awesome” and “fuck perfect.” If you’re feeling fancy and self-indulgent, splurge on caviar service. Your choice of fish eggs arrive on a silver platter with mother of pearl spoons, potato chips, and crème fraîche. Snap. Fresh fettuccini with pea shoots, tarragon, and spring onions tastes and looks like pure spring with its verdant green sauce. Filter: Hudson. A family-style platter of extra crispy Korean-style fried catfish with rice, bean sprout salad, and cubes of pickled daikon wows with its generous portions. Share. End the meal with a dessert of English pea sponge cake, mint curd, buttermilk, candied pistachios, and pea shoots that looks like a miniature garden in a bowl. Then watch the “likes” add up. —Jessica Sidman

My grandma is visiting, and she doesn’t hear well.

Where should we go?

1789 Restaurant

1226 36th St. NW; (202) 965‑1789; 1789restaurant.com

Since the city’s trendiest restaurants seem to feel that noise equals energy and excitement, go old school and hit this Georgetown mainstay instead. (Plus, the best time to dine at 1789 is when someone else is picking up the check.) 1789 is like a time machine set to land you smack dab in the hush-hush pomp of D.C.’s more formal

Where’s a good restaurant if you’re going out just for dessert?

Room 11

3234 11 St. NW; (202) 332‑3234; room11dc.com

The sugary smell that regularly fills the 3300 block of 11th Street NW emanates from El Latino Bakery, but if you keep walking half a block south, you’ll find the real sweet spot at Room 11. Save your visit for later in the evening, when tables clear out. The dessert menu is always evolving and always delicious. Honey goat cheesecake (one recent iteration included lemon curd, another version used lavender shortbread cookies as its base) tastes lighter and more savory than traditional cheesecakes.

Updates to old-school favorites like brownie sundaes and Choco Tacos, as well as the Samoa-inspired Drunken Girl Scout (a rum pound cake topped with chocolate, coconut, and caramel), are richer and more decadent than their inspirations. At the same time, the presentations remain simple; you won’t find artisanal gelatin cubes garnishing your plate, and that’s a good thing. With only four options available every night, it’s possible to sample the entire menu if you —Caroline Jones bring a few friends.

Where should I go for my dog’s birthday?

We’re both foodies.

Art and Soul

415 New Jersey Ave. NW; (202) 393‑7777; artandsouldc.com

A bottle of Fiji water and a sirloin steak sounds like a meal fit for a Paleo dieter leaving a personal training session. As a matter of fact, it comes straight off Art and Soul’s “pooch patio menu,” which en-

courages diners to spoil their four-legged foodies. The menu is available on the front patio of the restaurant housed in the Liaison Capitol Hill hotel. So too are plush dog beds in case you didn’t BYOBed. In addition to the $10 steak dish dubbed “the hungry dawg,” pups can hop on the “gravy train” with housemade beef and rice in savory gravy, or beat the heat with peanut banana “pup-sicles” and frozen beef bones.

Art and Soul is dog-forward thanks to chef Art Smith’s love of canines. He has three at home. “We all love food regardless of age or creature,” he says. “I love seeing fourlegged diners chowing down on a sirloin and washing it down with Bowser Beer.”

Don’t worry, PETA: Bowser Beer (meat broth with malt barley) is non-alcoholic.

—Laura Hayes

I worked up a sweat at the rave. Where is the best place to grab a decent bite to eat at 4 a.m. that will both keep my high energy buzz going and allow me in while still kind of rolling, outfitted in furry leg warmers, and covered in glitter?

The Diner

2453 18th St. NW; (202) 232‑8800; dinerdc.com

The Diner general manager Ashanti Murrain isn’t bothered by a little glitter or some fuzzy leg warmers. “That would not even be the strangest thing to have happened here,” he says. Sure, you can’t show up naked, but some patrons have come close. “The girls are in their provocative club outfits. Some people come here from costume parties,” Murrain says. “There are some very extravagant dressers that come through here.” Though the Diner is fairly slow during the early hours after midnight, the Adams Morgan eatery really comes alive at 3 a.m. when the inebriated bar crowd stumbles into the street in search of greasy food and sloppy breakfasts. “As long as you’re sober enough to order pancakes, you’re welcome here,” —Tim Regan Murrain says.

BUYD.C.

Mount Pleasant

By Kaarin Vembar

It Ran Away With The Spoon Celebrate summer in your home by opting for brightly colored dishware. The Dollar Star makes decorating budget-friendly with plastic dinner plates.

Round dinner plate, $1.89. Dollar Star. 3129 Mt. Pleasant St. NW. (202) 462-7900

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24 WED H New Inca Son

The splendor of Andean folklore comes alive in performances by this Boston-based group.

Part of the 2015 Smithsonian Folklife Festival.

25 THU H Coro Entrevoces

TheCubanchoirisknownforunparalleledperformances of music from all periods and styles for peace.

Brought to you by

Presented in collaboration with Classical Movements.

FREE PERFORMANCES 365 DAYS A YEAR EVERY DAY AT 6 P.M. H NO TICKETS REQUIRED *Unless noted otherwise

JUNE 15–30 YOUNGARTS@KENNEDYCENTER

26 FRI H

Family Night: The YMCA Jerusalem Youth Chorus

The group empowers young Palestinian and Israeli singers from East and West Jerusalem to grow together in song and dialogue.

This diverse group’s repertoire spans classical, world, gospel, and popular music.

I N T H E T H E AT E R L A B

28 SUN H Tapiola Chamber Choir

15 MON H Danny Rothschild*

Written by Rothschild, Home, Again tells the story of Dakota, who has returned to the small town of Silver Creek for a family funeral, 11 years after she ran away, and reconnects with her friend Lucy.

16 TUE H Ranjani Murthy

The prominent Finnish choir is known for adventurous programming and diverse repertoire.

29 MON H Los Angeles Children’s

Choir / Australian Children’s Choir

A youth choral showcase.

Presented in collaboration with Classical Movements.

An accomplished dancer of bharatanatyam and kuchipudi styles of Indian classical dance.

17 WED H Joel Fan

From China with Love–Connecting Cultures Through Music is an engaging piano recital that showcases both Chinese and Western favorites.

18 THU H Teodross “Teo”Avery

A Jazz Sound features a jazz quartet led by the award-winning saxophonist.

Find out what To Do Today online.

27 SAT H Chicago Children’s Choir

Presented by the National YoungArts Foundation

IN THE FAMILY THEATER

30 TUE H Marinera Viva!!!*

The group showcases the Marinera—the national dance of Peru.

Part of the 2015 Smithsonian Folklife Festival.

*Free general admission tickets will be distributed in the States Gallery (Family Theater lobby for 6/30) starting at approximately 5:30 p.m., up to two tickets per person.

Take Metrobus and Metrorail to the...

DC JAZZFESTIVAL JUNE 10 –16, 2015 Events DC Presents:

DCJAZZFESTATTHEYARDS

355 Water Street, SE

FREE 6/12: The Soul Rebels, Cubano Groove and Sharón Clark. Gates open at 5:00 PM.

ALL PERFORMERS AND PROGRAMS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE.

19 FRI H Brittany Bailey

Dance Company

The Company performs Shape Dance. Bailey’s technique, The Dance Warm-Up, emphasizes moving with the body and not against it.

21 SUN H Chicago Harp Quartet

TICKETED 6/13: Marshall Keys, Esperanza Spalding Presents: Emily’s D+Evolution, COMMON and Femi Kuti & The Positive Force. Gates open at 2:00 PM.

The group brings its innovative, charismatic, and forward-thinking programs of classical arrangements and new commissions.

22 MON H Tyné Angela Freeman,

TUE 16 H Ranjani Murthy

Melissa Goldstein, Kelley Kessell, and Miranda Scott

In Lost & Found, the four singer/songwriters weave together their stories and songs, accompanied by Jack Schunk on percussion and Max Lorick on bass.

20 SAT H Mariela Shaker

For tickets visit Ticketmaster.com

The accomplished Syrian violinist performs to raise awareness about the plight of Syrian refugees.

SUN 21 H Chicago Harp Quartet

Part of UNHCR World Refugee Day. The Millennium Stage was created and underwritten by James A. Johnson and Maxine Isaacs to make the performing arts accessible to everyone in fulfillment of the Kennedy Center’s mission to its community and the nation.

Additional funding for the Millennium Stage is provided by The Isadore and Bertha Gudelsky Family Foundation, Inc., The Meredith Foundation, The Morris and Gwendolyn Cafritz Foundation, Dr. Deborah Rose and Dr. Jan A.J. Stolwijk, U.S. Department of Education, and the Millennium Stage Endowment Fund.

The Millennium Stage Endowment Fund was made possible by James A. Johnson and Maxine Isaacs, Fannie Mae Foundation, James V. Kimsey, Gilbert† and Jaylee† Mead, Mortgage Bankers Association of America and other anonymous gifts to secure the future of the Millennium Stage.

Live Internet broadcast, video archive, artist information, and more at

is no free parking for free performances.

PLATINUM, GOLD & SILVER SPONSORS

kennedy-center.org/millennium For more information call: (202) 467-4600

Kennedy Center education and related artistic programming is also made possible through the generosity of the National Committee for the Performing Arts and the President’s Advisory Committee on the Arts.

PLEASE NOTE: There

For tickets, artists, and complete schedule visit DCJAZZFEST.ORG

The Kennedy Center welcomes persons with disabilities.

36 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

TAKE METRO to the Foggy Bottom/GWU station and ride the free Kennedy Center shuttle departing every 15 minutes until midnight.

GET CONNECTED! Become a fan of Millennium Stage on Facebook and check out artist photos, upcoming events, and more!

The DC Jazz Festival®, a 501(c)(3) non-profit service organization, is sponsored in part with major grants from the Government of the District of Columbia, Muriel Bowser, Mayor; and, in part, by major grants from the Morris and Gwendolyn Cafritz Foundation, The Mayo Charitable Foundation, CrossCurrents Foundation, New Music USA, and with a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts and the DC Commission on the Arts and Humanities, an agency supported in part by the National Endowment for the Arts; and by the City Fund, administered by The Community Foundation for the National Capital Region. ©2015 DC Jazz Festival. All rights reserved.

CPARTS Pop, in the Name of Love Pregaming for Pride Weekend?

Here’s two hours of ’70s and ’80s dance music, mixed by local DJs: washingtoncitypaper.com/go/pride2015

A commercial composer by day, Louis Weeks muses on the genre’s promise and pitfalls.

Nothing unsettles Louis Weeks more than the thought of wasted time.

It’s a mindset well-suited for the local musician’s career as a staff composer for Clean Cuts and Cerebral Lounge, a sound production company that scores television ads, video games, and mobile apps. Assignments are short—he often has just 10 to 20 seconds to get his point across.

But while crafting one of this year’s more expansive and experimental local rock records, haha, concision was no longer a business requirement. Weeks, 26, found himself considering anew the repercussions of every moment filled with sound.

“My relationship to recording and making music is ‘how do you make something great and meaningful in the time that you have?’” he says.

On the surface, haha seems to defy that mission statement. It’s full of meandering melodic outros and skronking sax jams that sometimes reveal themselves out of nowhere. Its lyrics register more as a tapestry of semi-related images than a graspable narrative. Its centerpiece, the jazzy, occasionally cacophonous “Mighty Lonesome,” is nearly eight minutes long.

The record was always meant to overstay its welcome at times. Weeks wanted haha—which he recorded with bandmates Noah Berman on guitar, Ethan Helm on woodwinds, and Matt Honor on drums—to be a pop album with the fat still intact, an exercise in both honoring and subverting the 21st-century obsession with short, simple forms of communication.

“I have an anxiety about mimetic culture,” Weeks says. “I think memes and GIFs are an incredibly useful vehicle for communicating an idea. It’s a very postmodern idea, being able to take a big idea and then take a symbol of that and use the symbol. But I wonder what gets lost.”

Weeks approaches music the same way you’d assume pop-song surgeons like Dr. Luke or Pharrell Williams might. There’s a strict method to creating every track, centered specifically around an emphasis on what he calls the “turn”: the climax of a song, where something key is revealed. It can be a drastic melodic shift, a feeling

”I have an anxiety about mimetic culture.”

Darrow Montgomery

By Dean Essner

of clarity, or complete chaos. It’s the spot that often validates the entire listening experience.

“The messaging turns from ‘if this, then that.’

There’s a pivotal moment where the music needs to reflect some sort of decision that’s been made, a turning point,” Weeks says.

His belief in this critical moment comes directly from his day job. Take the soundtrack for a recent anti-smoking ad he just scored: Over the course of 30 seconds, there are two “turns.” The first one signals a transition from the dark, minor chords that play through the beginning—a harrowing opening statement about child smokers—to a more neutral melodic sequence, when the ad tasks the general public with preventing kids from starting the habit in the first place.

That gives way to a big, hopeful, upbeat ending, the point in the commercial that envisions a cigarette-free future for adolescents. Each shift is an emotional point of access for the viewer.

It’s no surprise, then, that haha is built around a few important “turns”: the sprawling horn sequence that pops up at the end of “Fire” and halfway through “Mighty Lonesome”; the uplifting final bars of “White Moth” that resolve the prior tension; the lush ending to “Antelope,” where saxophones and percussion are added to a bare, guitar-buoyed melody. haha, like today’s most effective pop songs (e.g.

“Uptown Funk” and “Shake It Off”) is often an exercise in maximalism. Most of its songs never sit still, packed to the brim with hook after hook, layer after layer. “I’d start thinking about, like, ‘what if there are 12 flutes on this chord?’ or ‘what if a crazy saxophone solo happened?’” Helm says.

It was all part of Weeks’ additive approach to songwriting on haha, which meant pushing every track to the threshold of oversaturation.

“There’s a very compressed amount of time in pop songs,” Weeks says. “I wanted to take some of the language of fast changes, hard shifts, and turns, and put it into this record.”

Weeks created haha in reaction to the vibe of his last album, shift/away (which Washington City Paper named one of the best local releases of 2014), a record of glitchy, airy tunes that feels like it was recorded on a laptop. The insular, introverted essence conjured up by that album’s

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 37

CPARTS Continued

bedroom pop is apt—Weeks wrote much of shift/away in his head while driving alone in a car.

By contrast, he wanted haha to sound full, like an album that came to life in the studio rather than his own mind. To achieve this, Weeks needed a crack team of meticulous musicians. “Compared to shift/away, Louis’ haha demos would strike you as being pretty similar in sound,” says Berman, who worked on both records.

“The difference would be from us recording more acoustic instruments—woodwinds and drums—in the recording studio.”

“My goal in making this record was to take what I’d done with shift/away, which was a very sample-based and repetitive album, and give it a kind of grounding in the performances that Noah, Ethan, and Matt brought to it,” says Weeks, who recorded the album with his bandmates over the course of one marathon weekend at Clean Cuts and Cerebral Lounge’s Baltimore studio. “It lives in a place, acoustically and arrangement-wise.”

For as long as he can remember, Weeks’ greatest interest in music has been in the physical repercussions of this idea of place, a mindset fostered by his mother, a visual artist, and his father, an architecture aficionado. “I think about music visually as much as I do acoustically or auditorily,” says Weeks, who grew up in Baltimore.

He went on to study music composition and English at Maine’s small, rural Bowdoin College, where he wrote a 27-minute chamber opera for his senior thesis. Since the fall after his graduation, he’s worked at Clean Cuts and Cerebral Lounge creating commer-

cial pieces for networks like STARZ, the Golf Channel, National Geographic, and TLC. It’s a job that allows him to regularly consider the physicalities of music, given the digital equipment he uses. “Working at a computer with music really satisfies a lot of the visual [elements],” Weeks says. “It helps me contextualize the shape of a piece or the contour of a piece, because I can look at it and think about it visually.”

Weeks’ lyrics on haha center around how difficult it is to accurately and succinctly convey through words what’s on his mind.

This places it in a dialogue with albums like Wilco’s Yankee Hotel Foxtrot and St. Vincent’s Actor, two brilliant, landmark indie rock records similarly voiced through characters stuck in their own brains. Like the others, Weeks’ record is emotionally distant but deeply personal. It’s full of lyrics that can feel cold and ironic at times, sincere and sentimental at others—like the multifaceted nature of the interjection “haha.” “‘Haha’ is an acknowledgement,” Weeks says. “It doesn’t necessarily mean I’m laughing; it means I hear you, I acknowledge you, which is just as meaningful, frankly. It very much is about this way of communicating and not communicating at the same time.”

The best example of haha’s loaded imagery comes during the dreamy “Do No Harm”: “I’m sucking on your fingers begging please/This is more than my mid-sized American heart can take.” At first, it registers as a sly, self-deprecating lament about how normal and obvious the narrator’s wants and needs are: to feel loved, experience happiness, and be surrounded by others who understand him.

But on second thought, it becomes a line of pure romantic intent. “Mid-sized American” or otherwise, his heart needs satisfying. Verbalizing that idea can be a challenge. “[The record] is about intimacy and closeness,” Weeks says. “But it’s also about the clunky language of life that gets in the way of that.”

This is where the album’s two biggest points of interest—mimetic culture and pop music—converge. A word like “haha” is

simple, endlessly applicable. But its adaptability makes it easily misconstrued. From Weeks’ perspective, modern pop songs exist in the same realm: Americans turn to them for strength and solace because they can be used as tools for rationalizing complex feelings. Still, that’s often just a response to the straightforward, relatable language of these songs, which makes the listener feel like the tunes were written about their unique situations.

In other words—as Weeks sings on the track “Fire”—“I burn for you/In the way that songs could never do.” “[Pop music is] the imagery we rely on to bring us closer together, but oftentimes it means totally different things to different people,” Weeks says. “There are things I really need to say, and sometimes a song is just not the medium to say it.”

Tacked to the wall in Weeks’ small, cream-colored office is a wrinkled printout of writer Henry Miller’s self-inspiring commandments, “Work Schedule 1932-1933.” It contains such motivational nuggets as “Don’t be nervous. Work calmly, joyously, recklessly on whatever in hand” and “Keep human! See people, go places, drink if you feel like it.”

The line Weeks always finds himself always going back to is the most proverbial of them all: “Forget the books you want to write.

Think only of the book you are writing.” It’s a piece of wisdom that keeps Weeks focused at his deadline-intensive job as a composer. More importantly, it underscores one of the recurring themes in his life and career: concision.

At his day job, concision is a mantra, an enduring goal. As a rock musician, concision can be too easy. Weeks may shudder at the thought of a song wasting time, but that’s how he knows it’s poignant. There’s real art and emotion in the excess fat.

“I think music’s relationship with time makes it a unique art form,” he says. “There’s something really upsetting about that too.

You can’t make a song go faster than it is. Music is you reckoning CP with yourself. It’s you being there while time passes.”

Listen to haha at washingtoncitypaper.com/go/haha.

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2015 Season

July 2 - August 2

Engage with the tragic tale of Roméo et Juliette, celebrate the world premiere of a new American Opera, Scalia/Ginsburg, and join us as we welcome the Jazz at Lincoln Center Orchestra with Wynton Marsalis. This season will also include performances of the beloved theatre piece, Our Town, and a tribute performance of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9.

For the full season and ticket information visit us at www.CastletonFestival.org or call 866.974.0767.

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CPARTS

vs.

Did Spoonboy’s last-ever show feel like prom? Maybe, but with a little more “fuck the gender binary.” washingtoncitypaper.com/go/spoonboy

arTs desk

Head to Head

A SerIeS In whICh TwO lOCAl fIgUreS share their thoughts on D.C.-area culture. In this edition, we pit Brandon wetherbee, Brightest Young Things’ managing editor and host of the “You, Me, Them, everybody” podcast, against BrnDA, a local jangle-rock band now on tour. —Christina Cauterucci

Handout photo by Franz Mahr

One Track Mind

BRNda Brandon

Last Rites of a Living Legend

Brandon: The video game Kirby: hammocks, clouds, and just how disturbing it is when people suck on helium and talk like children trapped in adult bodies.

Cartoon Weapons Standout Track: No. 8, “Any Robot But You,” a multi-part, nearly 9-minute long prog-rock adventure with a Mars Volta-esque frantic vibe, from the debut album of Cartoon Weapons.

“I’ll take my chances/With any robot but you,” sings bassist Zack Be during one of the song’s short flashes of subdued, laid-back jazz, his voice ripe with paranoia and fear. But the quiet doesn’t last. Guitarist Garrett Gleason plucks out the track’s knotty main riff only seconds later, spinning “Any Robot But You” back into the dystopian nightmare from whence it came.

Musical Motivation: On “Any Robot But You,” the D.C. math-rock trio poses an Orwellian question: Can empathy exist in our current, modern world? “There’s this very human need to want something or someone new in your life, pitted against this very depressing worldview in which everyone around you is just another robot,” Be says. Oy. The Lemming Song: Be recites a spoken-word passage in the middle of “Any Robot But You,” but it’s not just any ordinary poem written to underlay a guitar freakout. Be says the words were derived from lines in his high school ecology textbook on a section about the life cycle of lemmings. The didactic tone is deliberate, Be says: “I was going for that feeling of a child reading a textbook and letting all those ideas about ‘how life is’ flood their head and shape their being, for —Dean Essner better or worse.”

Listen to “Any Robot But You” at washingtoncitypaper.com/go/robot.

Brandon: I want to reach peak dive bar and I don’t think that’s possible. Today’s “speakeasies” do not appeal to the same people that would have loved Prohibition-era speakeasies, and that’s good, because nothing during Prohibition was better. literally nothing: the air, the science, the sexual norms, the music, nothing.

Once again, more dive bars. real dive bars. Bars with cheap beer and a jukebox and no theme.

Brandon: Sure. I like stuff.

Brandon: A birthday gift from [local comedian] Andrew Bucket. On my 31st birthday, he bestowed upon me an Austin Powers action figure customized with drawn-on glasses, because I wear glasses, and a piece of tape that says, “My wife!” because for the first year of my marriage I said, “My wife!” like that movie character fella who is easy to mock. [Ed. note: That’d be Borat.] It’s America through and through—a Canadian comic mocking a British film character tied to a British actor mocking a made-up Kazakhstan stereotype on a Chinese-made figurine sold in the United States.

Brandon: I prefer goldlink, my favorite person to listen to hip-hop with prefers Shy glizzy (and I like Shy’s Stone Cold Steve Austin reference in “Awwsome”), but I wish DDm was on the cover.

Ernesto Neto’s enormous postminimalist installation “The Dangerous Logic of Wooing” is now on view in a 40th-anniversary exhibition of the Hirshhorn’s collection.

What does it make you think of?

BRNDA: This is obviously an example of a postminimalist parade float staging ground in which all parade floats are entirely white and spherical. Or, you know, the flayed corpse of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Clearly one or both of those.

With the recent opening of the Speak, it seems that D.C. has reached peak fauxspeakeasy. In your personal experience, how do today’s “speakeasies” match up to actual Prohibition-era speakeasies?

BRNDA: Speakeasies are way too corporate. we now live in a post-faux-speakeasy world.

Outdoor summer movie series: for or against?

BRNDA: A tentative for, but we’d like to see more outdoor-themed movies, like Grizzly Man (above) or Deliverance.

Which of your possessions will you donate to the Smithsonian’s American History Museum when you die?

GoldLink and Shy Glizzy both made XXL’s annual Freshman Class cover. Who do you like better?

BRNDA: we’d like to donate our tourmates Teen Mom. we checked with them and they’re OK with that.

BRNDA: goldlink for sure. goldlink’s “when I Die” speaks to us because a lot of our songs have fear of dying as a theme. But we really live in a post-faux-fear-of-dying world, anyway.

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 39

TheaTer

Face-Off

Our Town and Tartuffe have shared roots in commedia, but the way they play couldn’t be more different.

Tartuffe Adapted by David Ball Directed by Dominique Serrand At Sidney Harman Hall to July 5

By Trey Graham Think about what a mask brings to the party—its distancing power, its distracting allure, the way it both conceals and reveals.

It can disguise the individual and suggest the universal. It can deceive; it can pierce a veil to uncover truth. Masks are core to dramatic traditions both Western and Eastern, older than the Egyptians and as current as mummers or a Mardi Gras parade, but they are most familiar onstage today from a gargantuan global hit involving a singing fart-machine named Pumbaa.

The mask is the most basic of theatrical devices, in other words, and paradoxically the one most actors are least equipped to use. That’s why you, reader, are among the luckiest of the lucky. Right now, two distinct plays provide two unusually distinctive showcases for what first-class theatermakers can do with masks.

And they’re not just using the traditional masking techniques taught in classical acting courses, though those, in the hands of the commedia d’ellarte specialists at Faction of Fools, prove key to the success of their modestly staged but unquestionably moving Our Town.

In the bold and bracing Tartuffe at the Shakespeare Theatre Company’s Harman Hall, director Dominique Serrand deploys what looks like a million bucks’ worth of high-end design (that blue dress alone!) to support an intensely artificial performance style that, in effect, uses an actor’s entire body as a mask—now echoing and amplifying what she’s saying in dialogue, now rebelling against the claim her words are making. It’s different and difficult and downright weird, and I can’t stop thinking about some of the freaky stage pictures Serrand and his astonishing ensemble are creating.

A few dots to connect: Our Town is an American classic—perhaps the American classic—by Thornton Wilder, a writer unjustly lodged in most minds as a Norman Rockwell-style sentimentalist. He’s actually a kind of hopeful existentialist, a big-hearted humanist and beforehis-time theatrical experimentalist (see also The Skin of Our Teeth) who just happened to write a

giant hit that gets done badly somewhere every season. Tartuffe, formally a comedy but really a cautionary tale about the collision of power and piety, is one of the crowning achievements of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin, better known as Molière. Gaul’s answer to both Shakespeare and Borat, Molière is a writer of formal precision and French excess, a man whose blackerthan-black comedies, done with the right mixture of ferocity and absurdity, have a chill that’ll leave your teeth chattering.

Our Town director and Faction founder Matthew Wilson, to turn to present-day personalities, is a D.C.-based actor, fight choreographer, and commedia historian. Serrand, the Tartuffe director whose Theatre de la Jeune Lune was a modernist mainstay of Minneapolis’ rich theater scene for decades, is a Paris-born avantgardist trained in the rigorous movement-theater tradition of Jacques Lecoq, whose own interest in the body communicative arose from both the gymnasium and the Italian commedia traditions that inspired the groundbreaking theater of… that’s right, Molière. (And Shakespeare, too, but that’s another story.)

See where this is going? Two deceptively simple stories, one a gentle New England fable, the other a fierce and bitter French farce, offer two indelible takes on the human condition, one warm and hopeful, one jaded and despairing, in two performance styles that couldn’t be more unalike—two styles that nonetheless have an abundance in common, that were revolutionary in their day, that have roots in exactly the same place. Man, I love the theater; age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety.

I’m not doing plot summaries; that’s why you have a smartphone. I want you to wonder instead about the strength and breath control it must require for Tartuffe (the near-feral Steven Epp, Serrand’s longtime collaborator, here channeling Devil’s Advocate-era Al Pacino) to deliver a speech from the floor, mid-crunch, legs and arms and head and shoulders and all held insinuatingly mid-air, only his hindquarters touching the stage. He delivers that speech, let’s note, in a voice that can be heard across 800 seats. Take that to your Pilates instructor and set it as a new goal, and when you’re done there let’s talk about the wild slow-motion things Sofia Jean Gomez is doing inside Elmire’s 14-acre ballgown.

Consider, too, the role of the Fool, and what it takes to make a stock comedy figure feel redblooded and human. In Our Town, Faction’s Darren Marquardt mines the tale of town drunk Simon Stimson both for the laughs that are always there and the tragedy that too often goes begging. The choirmaster—a bach-

40 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

elor and the eternal odd man out—is not made for smalltown life, as the Stage Manager so memorably puts it.

He couldn’t be a more clearly coded Everyqueer, at least to me, but then to you he might simply be a misanthrope with a musical bent, and that’s the beauty of Wilder’s timeless archetypes. Marquardt waggles his bottom and waves his arms and lunges about like a Key West drag queen playing to a house full of competing bachelorette parties, but when the play’s famously grave Act 3 comes around, his place among the resting dead of Grover’s Corners feels as earned as that of any Gibbs or Webb.

In Tartuffe, it’s the saucy maid Dorine (brass-lunged, Patmore-cheeked Suzanne Warmanen) who speaks truth to the various powers, right up until a master’s outrage and her own overreach collide in a moment that speaks wordless volumes about power and privilege and protocol in a society (theirs? ours?) where a servant is both part of the family and practically a possession. One minute Warmanen’s Dorine is a broad comedy type; the next, a woman trembling at the prospect of a brutal beating, and in both moments she’s completely in command of the stage.

Matthew Pauli’s pitch-perfect Stage Manager, who’s a kind of less lanky Jimmy Stewart hand-holding the audience through Wilder’s sweet sadnesses; Lenne Klingaman’s pert, precise Mariane; the elegant, unnerving whiteface malevolence of Tartuffe’s servant Laurent (Nathan Keepers); the eloquent Handout photo by Scott Suchman

Our Town

By Thornton Wilder Directed by Matthew R. Wilson At Gallaudet University to June 21

Handout photo by C. Stanley Photography

In Tartuffe and Our Town, D.C. gets two masked marvels.

designs and the confident tones and the wildly different but similarly unified sensibilities that hold each of these productions together: There’s so much more to love and dissect and marvel over, so exuberantly much at play in these playful, sober, impossibly rich stories, and so painfully little time and space to spend with them, because this is theater, and like our lives, it evanesces. Do yourself a favor; do what Our Town’s sweet, earnest Emily urges from her new-dug grave, and give them both a good look before their time is past. CP 800 Florida Ave. NE. $12–$25. factionoffools.org.

610 F St. NW. $20–$110. (202) 547-1122. shakespearetheatre.org.

“Bloody, witty, and visually striking, Zombie: The American was an experience I will never forget.”

-DC Metro Theater Arts

“A gnarly, stained-toothed takedown of American exceptionalism.”

-Washington City Paper

“Supremely entertaining...[Zombie] features a widely talented cast and crew, taking on an innovative and refreshing new work.”

-Maryland Theatre Guide

“Well crafted...with bold physical and vocal choices that don’t fall into ‘zombie-cliché’” -Broadway World

FINAL WEEKS! MUST CLOSE JUNE 21!

WOOLLYMAMMOTH.NET // 202-393-3939

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 41

TheaTerCurtain Calls Boho Bleak

The Tale of the Allergist’s Wife

By Charles Busch Directed by Eleanor Holdridge At Theater J to July 5

Handout photo by C. Stanley Photography

Mary-Kate Olsen is in Love

By Mallery Avidon Directed by Holly Twyford At Studio Theatre to June 21

Thanks to two standout performances, this Charles Busch rework finds some breathing room.

Handout photo by Stan Barouh

One of the most insidious problems with depression is that the pathological despair that tethers and tortures its victims can be mistaken for, or trivialized as, a sort of Holden Caulfield style of whiny malaise. Studio Theatre’s Mary-Kate Olsen is in Love, helmed by Holly Twyford, falls into a similar trap: The play is a painfully precise, artful look inside a depressed mind, but that level of accuracy comes at the price of spending an awful lot of time hearing millennials complain about their relatively privileged lives.

Grace (Katie Ryan) is aware that the life she can barely stand to lead isn’t a dramatically wretched one (compared to, say, starving in a gutter). She has a fairly typical life for a young, middle-class white kid, but she finds it utterly devoid of meaning. After a youth spent chasing all the jobs, classes, and extracurriculars she was “supposed” to for the promise of a fulfilling adulthood, Grace finds herself in a dead marriage with an 80-hour-a-week job that leaves her too tired to do much more in her free time than watch TV from the couch while her bump-on-a-log husband Tyler (Daniel Corey) spends his days (and perhaps 80 percent of the play) splayed out silently on the floor, playing Call of Duty from a beanbag chair.

Grace’s life is badly in need of a spark, and unfortunately for her, it arrives in the form of a haunting from decidedly more chipper versions of fellow millennials Mary-Kate (Suzanne Stanley) and Ashley (Sara Dabney Tisdale) Olsen. The sisterly specters barge into Grace’s dreams to give her weary mind a bit of merry hell with their caffeine-, alcohol-, and cigarette-fueled pep.

Where Grace has spent her adult life turning down this volunteer opportunity or that life experience for not being “authentic” enough, the twins lead a seemingly fulfilling life while not appearing to do much of anything (which is fine, quips Ashley, since they’re celebrities).

This injustice proves to be more than Grace can bear: Something breaks within her, and her dreams spill over into her waking life for the rest of the play, which operates under the loosely-defined rules of dream logic.

Things get surreal fast: A soldier (Christian R. Gibbs) from Tyler’s game starts materializing in the real world and wheedles Tyler to do something with his life. Tyler decides to enlist in the virtual military of Call of Duty (which he accomplishes, somehow; again: dream logic). And when the titular Mary-Kate inevitably falls in love with Grace, she whisks them away to a tropical beach in New Zealand (which causes them to later remark with confusion that New Zealand doesn’t actually have any tropical beaches).

Busch, Whacked

Even Mary-Kate and Ashley can’t bring levity to this case of millennial malaise.

Paige Hathaway’s bare-bones set helps sell the play’s ambiguous dream setting— the sharpie-and-cardboard aesthetic of the walls and furniture are reminiscent of the imaginary headspace in Michel Gondry’s The Science of Sleep and evoke a childhood game of playing house, one of the earliest ways we try to puzzle out what life will be like as an adult.

Cementing Grace’s misery is a chorus of five young, bright-eyed “Amazing Girls,” who also spend a lot of time wondering what their adult lives will be like. They visit, singing and humming, between scenes to breathlessly lay out their ambitious dreams for the future. Perhaps worried that Grace’s life wouldn’t be sufficiently tragic had she never had dreams to lose in the first place, playwright Mallery Avidon trots the

42 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Girls out regularly as a reminder of how many ambitions Grace has failed to realize.

Though there are plenty of one-liners and a good comedic exchange or two (though sadly, one of the biggest laugh lines is the soldier abruptly admitting he wants to write a book of poems), the play never quite manages to lift itself out of Grace’s melancholy. We leave the character more or less as hopeless as we found her, presumably to wake to the same meaningless life. As an examination of depression, that makes for a compellingly vivid hour and change; as nights out at the theater go, though, it’s awfully bleak.

—Riley Croghan 1501 14th St. NW. $20–$30. (202) 332-3300. studiotheatre.org

What kind of a moniker is The Tale of the Allergist’s Wife? It sounds like a midlist novel waiting to become a steady stream of residuals for Rachel McAdams or Julianna Margulies, not something that would’ve sprung from the perfervid, perverted imagination of Charles Busch, the drag artist whose fourdecade résumé includes the novel Whores of Lost Atlantis and the plays Vampire Lesbians of Sodom; Theodora, She-Bitch of Byzantium; and Psycho Beach Party, just to cherry-pick the most titillating titles. The drawing-room comedy—his first play for squares and the first in which he did not appear as an actor—hit Broadway in 2000 and ran for two solid years.

Theater J’s revival has been “newly updated.” In the 140-minute-with-intermission show’s draggier—that is, duller—passages, you may find yourself playing Revision Bingo: A Jack Kevorkian joke, for example, has been amended with “Too late! He died!”, and the self-aggrandizing-but-decent Dr. Ira Taub now has an iPhone stuck to his hand.

Taub is the titular allergist, freshly retired, the better to focus on his teaching and good works. Mel Gibson and Osama Bin Laden were both famous men in 2000 and remain so now; weirdly, it’s difficult to tell whether the jokes about them are new or old.

The bones of the thing still work, although the characters grate. Marjorie Taub (Theater J Artist-in-Residence Susan Rome) is an overeducated, maundering empty nester; every rereading of Siddhartha and every Werner Herzog retrospective at the Film Forum just further persuade her of her intellectual mediocrity. Her husband Ira (Paul Morella), is more cheerful: racing from NYU lecture hall to free clinic to radio interview, wearing a “World’s Greatest Dad” Tshirt and a jogging belt with this track suit, and given to saying things like, “I slave for the needy, for the disenfranchised. And yet I am oblivious to the suffering of my own wife!” Into their bougie lives sashays Marjorie’s childhood friend Lee, all grown up into a globetrotting, name-dropping, libidinous Forrest Gump. Princess Di overheard Lee talking with Henry Kissinger about landmines once, and thus was born the princess’ passion for ridding the world of their menace. Lee gave Steven Spielberg the idea for E.T. Et cetera.

Lee is plainly even more full of shit than Marjorie’s aged mother Frieda (Barbara Rappaport), who’s forever delivering unsolicited but disgustingly specific updates on her

gastrointestinal health. But when the looselimbed Lise Bruneau shows up in the role, this show named for an allergist at last overcomes its own breathing problems. Like the Taubs, you miss her when she’s not there.

Besides Bruneau, the other standout performer is Maboud Ebrahimzadeh, who plays Mohammed, the good-natured Iraqi doorman/handyman who works in the Taubs’ building. He’s our narrator, and his scrawlings appear as supertitles above the stage over the scene changes. That he finds the Taubs so fascinating they demand his documentation strains credulity, but director Eleanor Holdridge has found a way to make that conceit work: She has Ebrahimzadeh, positioned stage-right at his concierge desk, react to everything that happens in the Taub’s Upper West Side apartment, as though he can hear it all. It’s a nice touch, although we sometimes empathize with his exasperation more directly than Holdridge —Chris Klimek or Busch intended.

1529 16th St. NW. $30–$65. (202) 518-9400. washingtondcjcc.org.

pimp up the volume Las Polacas: The Jewish Girls of Buenos Aires

By Patricia Suárez-Cohen and Mariano Vales Directed by Mariano Caligaris At GALA Theatre to June 28 Argentina’s Jewish community attracted international press in January with the death of a state prosecutor who had been investigating the deadly 1994 bombing of a Jewish community center in Buenos Aires that left 85 dead. That assassination plot allegedly involving a faked suicide, rogue intelligence agents, and secret grain-for-oil deal with Iran. The Jewish community— the largest in Latin America—can trace its roots back to at least the 1800s, when Jews fleeing pogroms in Eastern Europe flocked to the country for its open borders policy. But with desperation came exploitation: Zwi Migdal, an organized sex trafficking ring, brought over thousands of young Jewish women from Poland and Russia. The group tricked the women with promises of marriage to wealthy Argentinian Jews, then forced them into prostitution.

GALA’s new commission Las Polacas (“the Polish women”), by Argentinian playwright Patricia Suárez-Cohen, dramatizes these abuses through the eyes of Rachela, a Polish peasant girl sold by her own mother to an Argentinian pimp, Schlomo.

For such heavy subject matter, Las Pola-

cas is an oddly upbeat drama—a musical no less—with often goofy song-and-dance numbers that don’t all seem totally necessary (one is about Rachela’s mom’s dentures), or appropriate for a tale of human trafficking and sexual violence. Even the music, a klezmer-inflected tango score by Mariano Vales, is more cheery than not, with lots of oompahs from the clarinet, bandoneon, and a spirited-though-wobbly string ensemble.

It half works, though the half that works is the second act, when the humor goes out the window and the story takes a darker turn. What don’t work as well are the cast and some musical numbers, both of which are uneven. Two Argentinian stage actors, Martín Ruíz (Schlomo) and Ana Fontán (Margot, Schlomo’s “sister”) dominate with outsized roles, while the Americans, Samantha Dockser (Rachela) and Joshua Morgan (aspiring revolutionary Micah), are comparably meek. Schlomo is simply a variation of the same villain in every GALA play: the big-talking, wife-beating mustachioed macho. But Ruíz tackles it with gleeful chutzpah/sinvergüenza—a memorable scene has the pimp giving a donation to a Jewish charity for abused women, declaring that nothing fans the flames of anti-Semitism more than purveyors of white slavery. Margot is another stock character—the saucy, hardened prostitute—who takes manspreading (womanspreading?) as a life philosophy (“Don’t cross your legs. Uncross everything”) and whom Fontán imbues with a charming playfulness.

The whole thing is tenuously held together by Dockser, a newcomer to the stage whose voice took a long time to warm up, and made for awkward duets with Ruíz’s breathy baritone (as in, he sounds like he’s always out of breath). Many of the songs come in at random moments, add little to the story, and are haltingly delivered in a mix of English and Spanish, the surtitle translations of which don’t quite match for either.

Saturday’s performance was marred by audible static, as all of the actors are mic’d, which, given the size of GALA’s cramped theater, seems unnecessary.

Las Polacas tells a familiar tale—that of the immigrant with big dreams shattered in the new world—but what makes GALA’s production unique is not just its setting but its musicality and cheeky sensibility. When the singing and the drama come together, belatedly, Las Polacas is a compelling new work that doesn’t shy away from its subject but isn’t gratuitous about it either, and even manages to have some fun along the way. It just takes a while to get there.

—Mike Paarlberg In English and Spanish with surtitle translations. 3333 14th St. NW. $20–$42. (202) 2347174. GALAtheatre.org

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FilmShort SubjectS Funny Bunches oF Quotes

Through masterful directing, a cinéma vérité drug drama becomes a near masterpiece.

Live From New York!

Directed by Bao Nguyen “When I die,” Andy Samberg says in Live From New York!, “they will talk about ‘Dick in a Box.’” Samberg, who performed in the Emmywinning SNL Digital Short with Justin Timberlake in 2007, adds that a legacy as a goateed R&B singer with his privates wrapped as a present is fine by him.

Remarkably, the visit to the Digital Shorts era of the 40-year-old Saturday Night Live in Bao Nguyen’s feature documentary debut is more entertaining—and feels nearly as impactful—as its coverage of the show’s launch and early golden years.

Chevy Chase, Gilda Radner, John Belushi, Laraine Newman, Garrett Morris, Jane Curtin, and Dan Aykroyd made up the initial cast; many of them had migrated from the National Lampoon Radio Hour along with a few Lampoon writers. Bill Murray would join the next season.

The film opens with a clapboard IDing a 1975 screen test. You expect funny to follow. Besides an off-the-cuff joke from Curtin that’s elevated by her exquisitely fluid expressions, though, it’s just a quick montage of the soon-to-be stars not doing a whole lot.

Nguyen, of course, eventually offers clips of some classic characters, like Radner’s Roseanne Roseannadanna and Chase’s Gerald Ford. But in general, the show’s learning-to-stumble period is summarized by pithy descriptions (“a variety show on acid,” “a cross between 60 Minutes and Monty Python,” etc.) and commentary from writers (Anne Beatts), frequent hosts (Alec Baldwin), and, naturally, producer Lorne Michaels about how crazy and novel the idea of a live-broadcast comedy show was.

It’s difficult to argue that SNL’s last decade, give or take a few years, hasn’t benefited from the proliferation of the DVR: Instead of once-loyal fans giving up entirely, they now could forward to the infrequent highlights of each episode.

Those highlights are almost exclusively political in nature. Quick, name the (fake) presidents who spoke these (fake) lines: “Not gonna do it, wouldn’t be prudent”; “I. Am. Bulletproof.”; “strategery.” And who can forget “I can see Russia from my house”? Thank you, Dana Carvey, Darrell Hammond, Will Ferrell, and Tina Fey. Nguyen also devotes a touching segment to comedy culture in the weeks after 9/11; specifically, the sincere confusion over whether it would ever be OK to laugh and be silly again, an issue of particular concern for

New York-based entertainment. Here, the director includes the cold open of SNL’s first episode after the disaster, with first responders lined up and then-Mayor Rudy Giuliani exchanging a few sober thoughts with Michaels.

Then, Giuliani whoops the famous words: “Live, from New York!…” If you don’t feel a tingly rush, check your pulse.

Nguyen curiously omits some prominent features—and cast members—from his 90minute film. Commercial parodies, for example, are absent; as fun and smart as the political sketches are, the director had plenty of room to shill, say, the Bass-o-Matic or Bad Idea Jeans. Kristen Wiig hardly makes an appearance (too indie and serious now, Kristen?), and same goes for Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis, Mike Myers, and Adam Sandler, among others. (Though the actors, not the filmmaker, are likely to blame.)

Besides the 9/11 intro, the doc’s most triumphant and saddening segment belongs to cast member Leslie Jones, whose hire in 2014 marked the first time in the show’s history that it had two black women in the cast. Jones has a gut-busting bit at the “Weekend Update” desk involving her sorry love life and how much better it would have been during— gulp—the era of slavery, because of her solid, 6-foot frame.

In the film, Jones says she’d written the piece at home during a low moment, which made the subsequent, hate-filled backlash from black bloggers and fans all the more hurtful. But Jones isn’t one to skulk to safety. Here, with fire in her voice, she says, “Not only did I take something of pain and make it funny, motherfuckers, it was brilliant!” Now that reactionary, PR-dulled apologies for offenses as minor as a poorly worded tweet have become as common as the weather report, the world—not just SNL—could use more —Tricia Olszewski people like her.

Live From New York! opens June 12 at E Street Cinema.

44 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Drug-hate relationship Heaven Knows What Directed by Josh and Benny Safdie

Heaven Knows What opens with a suicide attempt. Harley (Arielle Holmes), a young heroin user, offers to kill herself as an apology for cheating on her boyfriend Ilya (Caleb Landry Jones), and when he rebuffs her attempts at reconciliation, she slits her wrists in a public park. She doesn’t die, so he doesn’t forgive her, and their doomed romance goes on in this raw, tender, and altogether mesmerizing new film.

Of course, every junkie (or fan of drug dramas) is painfully familiar with the dynamic of a destined-to-fail relationship. An addict’s first love, these films tell us, will always be the high. Either she quits using, or the drug kills her. Heaven Knows What is no exception. Its story of young heroin users struggling to score and survive on the Upper West Side never threatens to force a happy ending, but the brilliant and fascinating lead performance by Holmes will keep you rooting for one anyway.

With her quiet confidence and conventional good looks, Harley is quickly identifiable as a runaway, a middle-class girl who has traded the trappings of suburbia for a dangerous life on the streets. She has become part of a loose-knit community of junkies who meet up every day to shoot up and goof off. In between, they drink, steal, and sometimes fall in love. Harley used to be with the cruel and charismatic Ilya, but now dates the more down-to-earth Mike (played by the magnificently named Buddy Duress). Ilya, meanwhile, shows up from time to time like a ticking time bomb, threatening to destroy her fragile romance and possibly her life. It’s a dangerous and desperate love triangle that seems sure to end in tragedy.

As compelling as the film is, the story behind it might be even more amazing: Filmmaking brothers Benny and Josh Safdie were working on another project when they spotted Holmes entering the subway. They introduced themselves and learned about her semi-homeless existence as a drug user on the streets of Manhattan. The brothers encouraged her to write down her experiences; she eventually published a book. A couple of years later, Holmes is the star of her own story.

A background like that would threaten to overtake some films, but the Safdie brothers use it to their advantage, capturing the raw emotion and physical danger of Harley’s existence with a brave commitment to verisimilitude. Like many lowbudget indie dramas, Heaven Knows What employs the visual style of cinéma vérité—there’s lots of shaky, handheld camera work and a loose narrative style—but it also embodies the movement’s quest for realism more than any other film in recent memory. The Safdies cast real-life addicts in most of the key roles, which should in no way diminish their acting accomplishments. Try just being yourself onscreen sometimes, and see how that goes.

And yet the few directorial flourishes the Safdies do add elevate Heaven Knows What from a competent indie to a near masterpiece.

Consider the prominent electronic score: At first, it feels out place in the film’s otherwise gritty realism. Eventually, it starts to make sense, pulsing through the scenery, embodying the anxiety of a junkie looking for her next fix. Careful listeners will notice an updated version of Debussy’s “Clair de Lune” in several scenes, which keenly raises the struggle of these lowly characters to a more profound plane. Like so many urban dwellers, they are stuck in eternal moonlight.

—Noah Gittell Heaven Knows What opens June 12 at Angelika Pop-Up.

GalleriesSketcheS Limited Rendition “Super Natural” and “Organic Matters” At the National Museum of Women in the Arts to Sept. 13

any argument. Sharon Core’s photos are a little better on this score: “Single Rose” is tricky, for example, in that it’s a still life made up of pig ears arranged in an exact replica of a flower in bloom. Worth a chuckle, but it still confirms an expectation—that artists remake what nature creates—supported by other works on view, like Rachel Ruysch’s 1680s oil painting “Roses, Convolvulus, Poppies, and Other Flowers on a Stone Ledge.”

As much as I love Ana Mendieta and Louise Bourgeois, there must be a way to do a survey of women in 2015 that doesn’t rely on them—sorry not sorry—especially on a theme that is supposed to be narrow and pointed. It’s a thrill to see engravings from 1719 by Maria Sibylla Merian; less so the 2012 response in etching by Monika E. de Vries Gohlke, which, taken in the context of the entire show, seems to suggest that in 300 years, women haven’t shaken the idea that art is a mirror for the natural world.

The best debate in sex today is about what it means to be a woman. When Caitlyn Jenner (née Bruce) announced her identity on the cover of Vanity Fair, she summoned a storm that touched down everywhere at once: inside the college of cardinals at ESPN, among the cluck of Republican candidates running for president, and across the starry sky of glossy gossip tabloids.

Maybe the richest responses came from the pocket of the feminist left that holds transgender women at arm’s length (trans-exclusionary radical feminism, some call it). From this dim galaxy, pundits dusted off terms like “neurosexism” to condemn the idea that someone born a man could somehow divine that he is, in essence, a woman. Some critics picked at the role of celeb portrait photographer Annie Leibovitz in casting this newly identified woman in the retrograde light of beauty.

(The cosmetic-industrial complex will probably survive.)

It is against this urgent and thrilling backdrop that the National Museum of Women in the Arts arrives with an argument that couldn’t feel further from the present. Two new exhibitions, “Super Natural” and “Organic Matters,” propose to explore the intimate relationship between women and nature. That connection is presented as so one-dimensional, however, that the statement shows wind up making an unflattering case about the nature of women.

In a word, the works at the National Museum of Women in the “Single Rose” by Sharon Core (1997) Arts are gorgeous. The paintings, photography, sculptures, and installations The subdivision between “Super Natuon view are overwhelmingly palatable and ap- ral” and “Organic Matters” is tough to suss pealing. There are strong highlights in “Organ- out at first glance. The former is an exhibition ic Matters” and heavy hitters in “Super Natu- of some 50 artworks by half as many women, ral,” but what both shows lack is an approach spanning pieces drawn from both the collecto nature that includes brutality and corporeal- tion and loans, all of which have to do with naity, blood and guts—and a conception of wom- ture. “Organic Matters,” on the other hand, is en as able to respond to the whole sum of na- the museum’s latest biennial, which assembles ture through art. works by 13 emerging artists from around the “Super Natural” is the worse offender on world—all of which have to do with nature. A this point. Amy Lamb’s photographs, “Vase biennial might be the more electric presentaof Flowers I” and “Purple Datura,” are work- tion, at least on paper, but here it’s positioned manlike still-life prints that don’t make much of as a coda to “Super Natural.”

Lara Shipley’s “In the Ozarks There are Lights (Devil’s Promenade)” (2013) and “False Lights (Devil’s Promenade)” (2013) find some mystery in nature, at least; her photographs of lonely Midwestern paths, captured in the gloaming, express caution and uncertainty. Apprehension is a quality that’s hard to come by in “Organic Matters” (or for that matter, “Super Natural”). The pitch of the show is mildly celebratory. Ysabel LeMay’s “Reflection” (2014), a digitally composed diptych of various flora and fauna, might be a composition from 1914 or 1814 or even 1714.

Good works by Jiha Moon and Jennifer Celio suffer from the inconsistency with which the various worldwide “Women to Watch” committees selected pieces for “Organic Matters.” A single curator would not have signed her name to it.

For the rest of the summer, the second floor of the museum will offer a calm stroll through a variety of depictions of nature with almost no risks or missteps. The missed opportunity

UPCOMING EVENTS

AN EVENING

HUMOROUS

READINGS

Mon, 6/15 at 8:00pm An Evening of Humorous Readings Tues, 6/16 at 6:30pm The Tale of the Dueling Neurosurgeons Sam Kean Wed, 6/17 at 6:30pm Grain of Truth Stephen Yafa Tues, 6/23 at 6:30pm The Art of Travel Four writers share their travel tips for women.

Wed, 6/24 at 6:30pm Great Catastrophe Thomas de Waal

is more regrettable than anything in either “Super Natural” or “Organic Matters.” The exhibitions are pleasant and inoffensive—unlike nature, in my experience—but the wrong way to frame work by women in 2015. Out in the world, women face a storm in the world that’s both terrible and terribly fascinating. The National Museum of Women in the Arts, meanwhile, is stuck in the doldrums.

—Kriston Capps 1250 New York Ave. NW. $8-$10. (202) 7835000. nmwa.org

Mon, 6/29 at 6:30pm Fig Tree Press An Evening of Independent Fiction The Book of Stone Jonathan Papernick Prayers for the Living Alan Cheuse Safekeeping Jessamyn Hope 1517 CONNECTICUT AVE. NW 202.387.1400 // KRAMERS.COM

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 45

MusicDiscography ThaT Thing YouTh Do Lessons from the Streets Elijah Jamal Balbed Self-released There’s more to Lessons from the Streets —D.C . tenor saxophonist Elijah Jamal Balbed’s radiant second album— than meets the eye. It’s no stretch to find a connection between the two original titles at its midpoint, “Lessons from the Streets” and “From the Streets to the Mansion,” a nearly 20-minute double nucleus that represents Balbed’s development as a jazz artist.

The title track has a hard-bop melody carefully segmented for the different instruments, but slips into bluesy (and, in the case of guitarist Samir Moulay, nasty) lines during the solos; the latter tune is glossier with a salsa finale—its improvisations comprise exchanges between Balbed and trumpeter Alex Norris, then Moulay and pianist Alex Brown, before vibraphonist Warren Wolf and drummer Corey Fonville put down majestic full-length solos.

But this centerpiece is just the core of a larger musical Künstlerroman. Balbed employs a different band—an expanded rhythm section that consists of pianist Mark Meadows, guitarist Paul Bollenback, bassist Romeir Mendez, and drummer C.V. Dashiell—on the album’s opening three tracks. The first, “Butch Warren,” is a tribute to the late D.C. bassist, one of Balbed’s mentors. It’s not a spotlight for Warren’s instrument, though Mendez takes one of the best, most bravura solos, but an echo of his solid sense of musical structure.

The theme is a tight piece of bop, and Balbed and Bollenback deliver case studies in building an improvised melody. Cedar Walton’s “Firm Roots” is a staple of jazz jam sessions, and the performance feels like one.

The arrangement has a neat bit of rubato as it rounds the corners, which becomes the defining shape of the improvisations, but Bollenback, Balbed, and Meadows leap that hurdle with little effort. In “What Matters Most (In Life),” both the composition and the soloists concentrate their energies on the mid-tempo funk groove.

If “Lessons from the Streets” combines those building blocks into one and “From the Streets to the Mansion” places them in a more sophisticated context, the last three tunes, which keep the centerpiece’s septet lineup, expand on that sophistication.

Wayne Shorter’s “Infant Eyes” begins in ballad formation, but Kris Funn begins a bass vamp that ups the ensemble’s energy and complexity—and gives Wolf a delightful spotlight. Balbed’s “Sonny Suspended” is a leapfrogging blues that wouldn’t be out 46 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

If this is what 25-year-old Balbed can accomplish, imagine what his future holds. of place in the first half of Lessons from the Streets, but for its considerable subtlety and nuance: The blues form is merely the A of an AABA composition, for one thing, and Funn contributes a solo that both incorporates and deconstructs bebop licks. Finally, the band injects the closing standard “On Green Dolphin Street” with a surprising dose of delicacy, including an ornate reading of the main theme by Norris, improvs

by Wolf and Balbed that take pains with the tune’s internal structure, and a gorgeous concluding chord for the whole ensemble.

It all unfolds as a work in the “portrait of the artist as a young man” mold, and at 25, Balbed still qualifies for the distinction. Lessons from the Streets, though, suggests far greater maturity than most such portraits. If this is youth, imagine what age —Michael J. West will bring.

Listen to tracks from Lessons from the Streets at washingtoncitypaper.com/go/balbed.

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 47

I.M.P. PRESENTS Merriweather Post Pavilion • Columbia, MD

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Morrissey ................................................................................................................... JUNE 17

Milky Chance w/ X Ambassadors ..............................................................................JULY 27 Interpol ..............................................................................................................................JULY 28 Brandon Flowers .........................................................................................................JULY 29 9:30 CLUB PRESENTS AT U STREET MUSIC HALL The Maccabees

w/ The Raised By Wolves...............Sa JUN 13 Shamir w/ Soft Lit & Forever Lesbians. Tu 16 RDGLDGRN w/ +E ................................ Th 18 The Griswolds w/ Urban Cone.............. F 19 King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard . Su 21

SEPT 8 SOLD OUT! SECOND NIGHT

ADDED!

Twenty One Pilots w/ Echosmith.................................................................. SEPTEMBER 9

Rubblebucket

2135 Queens Chapel Rd. NE • Ticketmaster

w/ Alberta Cross & Cuddle Magic ......... W 24

Novalima w/ Nappy Riddem ................ Th 25 The Shadowboxers & Kopecky w/ The Walking Sticks ............................ F 26

Sondre Lerche w/ Jonas Alaska ........ Sa 27 Turquoise Jeep w/ Oxymorons .......... Su 28

• Buy advance tickets at the 9:30 Club box office

JUST ANNOUNCED!

1215 U Street NW

LILLY SINGH : A Trip to Unicorn Island ................ SAT JULY 11 On Sale Friday, June 12 at 10am

SECOND SHOW ADDED!”

Trevor Noah

RFK Stadium • Washington, D.C.

Dave & Elliot’s 4th of July Rally & Ride to RFK

Start at DC Brau with Breakfast • Coffee • Live Music. Ride to VIP Motorcycle parking at RFK... JULY 4 For more info, visit 930.com

Late Show! 9pm Doors.......................................................... SAT JULY 25

D NIGHT ADDED! FIRST NIGHT SOLD OUT! SECON

Beirut .............................................................................................................NOVEMBER 4 On Sale Friday, June 12 at 10am

20th Anniversary Blowout!

Buddy Guy • Gary Clark Jr. • Heart • and more! For full lineup, visit 930.com.............. JULY 4 Ticketmaster

AEG LIVE PRESENTS

Stuff You Should Know ........................................................................ FRI JUNE 26

The Australian Pink Floyd Show .................................................SAT AUGUST 8

Berry Hill Farm • Summit Point, WV (75 minutes NW of D.C.)

ALL GOOD MUSIC FESTIVAL & CAMP OUT

Washington, D.C.

FEATURING

PRIMUS • CAKE • THIEVERY CORPORATION • SOJA • MOE. • JOHN BUTLER TRIO •

LOTUS • GREENSKY BLUEGRASS • DARK STAR ORCHESTRA and many more! ...JULY 9-11 Full lineup at allgoodfestival.com - Eventbrite

The Music Center at Strathmore • N. Bethesda, MD

LIVE NATION PRESENTS

T.J. Miller New date! All 6/20 tickets honored. ............................................. AUGUST 9

AN ACOUSTIC EVENING WITH

Yo La Tengo feat. Dave Schramm ........................................... FRI SEPTEMBER 25 Loretta Lynn .......................................................................................... SEPTEMBER 27 AEG LIVE PRESENTS

Jim Jefferies ...............................................................................................NOVEMBER 7 • thelincolndc.com •

U Street (Green/Yellow) stop across the street!

Chris Cornell (solo) Showcasing songs from his new album and entire catalog................................................. OCTOBER 14 Ticketmaster

Tickets for 9:30 Club shows are available through TicketFly.com, by phone at 1-877-4FLY-TIX, and at the 9:30 Club box office.

9:30 CLUB BOX OFFICE HOURS are 12-7PM Weekdays & Until 11PM on show nights. 6-11PM on Sat & 6-10:30PM on Sun on show nights.

9:30 CUPCAKES The best thing you could possibly put in your mouth.

Cupcakes by BUZZ... your neighborhood bakery in Alexandria, VA. www.buzzbakery.com

48 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

PARKING: THE OFFICIAL 9:30 parking lot entrance is on 9th Street, directly behind the 9:30 club. Buy your advance parking tickets at the same time as your concert tickets!

HAPPY HOUR DRINK PRICES

AFTER THE SHOW AT THE BACK BAR!

930.com

DCJAZZ FESTIVAL

Thursday, June 11 at 8:00 PM

BRAD LINDE’S BIG OL’ ENSEMBLE Feat. Elliott Hughes

JUNE 10 –16, 2015

Atlas Performing Arts Center

D C J A Z Z F E S T.O R G

CITYLIST Music

Friday Rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Who’s Bad. 10 p.m. $20. 930.com. birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Bill Kirchen & Too Much Fun, The Nighthawks, Billy Price. 7:30 p.m. $29.50. birchmere.com.

The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Lloyd Dobler Effect. 10:30 p.m. Free. thehamiltondc.com.

Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .49 Theater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 6 Film . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .58

SearCh LISTIngS aT waShIngTonCITYpaper.Com

1811 14TH ST NW

www.blackcatdc.com @blackcatdc UPCOMING SHOWS

PRIDE WEEKEND 2015

CITY LIGHTS: FRIDAY

JUN 12

OCCUPIED TERRITORIES

JUN 13 JUN 14

Inspired by Euripedes’ The Trojan Women, a 4th-century B.C. account of the destruction of Troy, Theater Alliance’s Occupied Territories examines lives through and after war.

Conceived, directed, and co-choreographed by local artist Mollye Maxner, who has previously presented work at the Source Festival and as a Kenan Fellow at the Kennedy Center, this cerebral text is paired with a forceful staging. As decades pass, Occupied Territories’ characters remain consumed by the consequences—emotional, physical, and spiritual— of war. Maxner’s work explores how armed conflict changes our lives immediately and over time; in the capable hands of Theater Alliance actors and crewmembers, the audience will be forced to consider the questions that come along with war long after the drama ends. The play runs June 10 to July 5 at the Anacostia Playhouse, 2020 Shannon Place —Diana Metzger SE. $20–$35. (202) 241-2539. theateralliance.com.

JUN 16 JUN 17

BOOTY REX

BABE RAINBOW

THE REAL MCKENZIES THE BOIDS

THE HELIO SEQUENCE

PATTERN IS MOVEMENT FAREWELL TOUR

JUN 18 BANDING TOGETHER 2015 BATTLE OF THE LAW FIRM BANDS JUN 19

WHEDONISM

wolf Trap filene CenTer 1551 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. Weird Al Yankovic. 8 p.m. $40. wolftrap.org.

JUN 20

CHURCH NIGHT (21+)

ElEctRonic

JUN 21

u STreeT muSiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Alle Farben. 10:30 p.m. $10. ustreetmusichall.com.

JUN 25

Jazz

JUN 28

blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Roberta Gambarini, The Cyrus Chestnut Trio. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $25. bluesalley.com.

JUN 30

howard TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Fito Paez. 8 p.m. $58. thehowardtheatre.com.

bohemian CavernS 2001 11th St. NW. (202) 2990800. Gretchen Parlato, Lionel Loueke. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $28–$33. bohemiancaverns.com.

The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

The Bad Plus Joshua Redman, Underwater Ghost. 8:30 p.m. $48–$63. thehamiltondc.com.

TwinS Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Michael Thomas Quintet. 9 p.m. & 11 p.m. $15. twinsjazz.com.

BluEs zoo bar 3000 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 2324225. Sooky Jump Blues Band. 9 p.m. Free. zoobardc.com.

Folk HILL COUNTRY LIVE 410 7th St. NW. (202) 5562050. Mustered Courage. 9:30 p.m. Free. hillcountrywdc.com.

Jammin Java 227 Maple Ave. East, Vienna. (703) 255-1566. Tom Chapin. 7:30 p.m. $15—$22. jamminjava.com.

WoRld u STreeT muSiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Songhoy Blues. 7 p.m. $20. ustreetmusichall.com.

Hip-Hop fillmore Silver Spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Rakim, DJ Zu. 8 p.m. $22. fillmoresilverspring.com.

JUN 27

howard TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Trina, Backyard Band. 11 p.m. $30. thehowardtheatre.com. roCk & roll hoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. K.Flay. 9 p.m. $12–$15. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

Go-Go amp by STraThmore 11810 Grand Park Ave., North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. The Chuck Brown Band. 8 p.m. $25. ampbystrathmore.com.

opERa barnS aT wolf Trap 1645 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. The Marriage of Figaro. 7:30 p.m. $36–$78. wolftrap.org.

saturday Rock gypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700.

Mattson/Barraco and Friends. 9 p.m. $10–$12. gypsysallys.com. ioTa Club & Café 2832 Wilson Blvd., Arlington.

(703) 522-8340. On The Bus, Elikeh. 9 p.m. $12. iotaclubandcafe.com. roCk & roll hoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. Lower Dens. 8 p.m. $12. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

ElEctRonic amp by STraThmore 11810 Grand Park Ave., North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Active Child, Low Roar.

7:30 p.m. $22–$28. ampbystrathmore.com.

BURLESQUE TRIBUTE TO JOSS WHEDON (18+)

JAGA JAZZIST

BLONDE REDHEAD SUPER ART FIGHT THE ADOLESCENTS THE WEIRDOS

SAN CISCO

JUL 1

DARKEST HOUR

JUL 7

MUDHONEY

20TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR

EVERY WEEKEND AT 7PM

FRIDAY

Jazz

SATURDAY

TEN FORWARD SICK SAD WORLD

baird audiTorium aT naTional muSeum of naTural hiSTory 10th Street and Constitution Avenue NW. (202) 633-3030. Smithsonian Jazz Masterworks Orchestra. 7:30 p.m. $18–$25. residentassociates.org.

A HAPPY HOUR "HAPPY" HOUR 1 STAR TREK:TNG TWO DARIA EP. PER WEEK

blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Roberta Gambarini, The Cyrus Chestnut Trio. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $25. bluesalley.com. bohemian CavernS 2001 11th St. NW. (202) 2990800. Nicholas Payton Trio. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $28–$33. bohemiancaverns.com.

ROMULAN ALE SPECIALS

EPISODES PER WEEK MYSTIK SPIRAL DRINK SPECIALS

NOW OPEN at 5pm M-F!

The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Jack DeJohnette Trio. 7:30 p.m. & 10:30 p.m. $28–$43. thehamiltondc.com.

TwinS Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Michael Thomas Quintet. 9 p.m. & 11 p.m. $15. twinsjazz.com.

RED ROOM & LUCKY CAT PINBALL

BluEs

TAKE METRO!

zoo bar 3000 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 2324225. Smokin Polecats. 9 p.m. Free. zoobardc.com.

STaTe TheaTre 220 N. Washington St., Falls Church.

(703) 237-0300. Marcia Ball. 7 p.m. $22. thestatetheatre.com.

WE ARE LOCATED 3 BLOCKS FROM THE U STREET/CARDOZO STATION

TO BUY TICKETS VISIT TICKETFLY.COM

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 49

DCJAZZ FESTIVAL JUNE 10 –16, 2015

Thursday, June 16 at 7:30 PM & 9:30 PM

Artist-in-Residence CHRISTIE DASHIELL Bohemian Caverns

D C J A Z Z F E S T.O R G

countRy

Jazz

birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Billy Joe Shaver. 7:30 p.m. $29.50. birchmere.com.

beTheSda blueS and Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Mickey Bass and the Manhattan Burn Unit. 7:30 p.m. $20. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

Jiffy lube live 7800 Cellar Door Drive, Bristow.

(703) 754-6400. Rascal Flatts, Scotty McCreery, Ashley Monroe. 7:30 p.m. $30.25–$60. livenation.com.

Folk gypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Rye Baby. 7 p.m. Free. gypsysallys.com.

opERa wolf Trap filene CenTer 1551 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. Pirates of Penzance. 8 p.m. $15–$55. wolftrap.org.

sunday

birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Django-A-Go-Go Festival 2015. 7:30 p.m. $29.50. birchmere.com. blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Roberta Gambarini, The Cyrus Chestnut Trio. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $25. bluesalley.com. bohemian CavernS 2001 11th St. NW. (202) 2990800. Nicholas Payton Trio. 7 p.m. & 9 p.m. $28–$33. bohemiancaverns.com. AfroHORN. 4:30 p.m. $15–$20. bohemiancaverns.com.

The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Stanton Moore Trio, Charlie Hunter Trio. 7:30 p.m. $28–$33. thehamiltondc.com.

Rock

SixTh & i hiSToriC Synagogue 600 I St. NW. (202) 408-3100. The Cookers. 8 p.m. $28–$33. sixthandi.org.

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Courtney Barnett, Chastity Belt, Darren Hanlon. 7 p.m. $20.

930.com.

TwinS Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Marty Nau. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $10. twinsjazz.com.

blaCk CaT 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. The Real McKenzies, The Boids. 7:30 p.m. $15. blackcatdc.com.

zoo bar 3000 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 2324225. Mike Flaherty’s Dixieland Direct Jazz Band. 7:30 p.m. Free. zoobardc.com.

dC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Trails and Ways, Waterstrider. 9 p.m. $10–$12. dcnine.com.

opERa

wolf Trap filene CenTer 1551 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. Classic Albums Live Presents The Beatles: Abbey Road. 8 p.m. $25–$40. wolftrap.org.

barnS aT wolf Trap 1645 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. The Marriage of Figaro. 3 p.m. $36–$78. wolftrap.org.

CITY LIGHTS: SATURDAY

WORD DANCE THEATER “She was the first artist to appear uncinctured, barefooted, and free. She arrived like a glorious bounding Minerva in the midst of a cautious corseted decade.” So went the New Yorker’s 1927 description of Isadora Duncan, the choreographer credited with shaking loose the strictures of classical ballet and innovating a free-flowing form of modern dance. She took the dancer’s body as “simply the luminous manifestation of the soul,” a legacy carried forth in the Maryland-based Word Dance Theater’s upcoming show “Body | Soul.” Dedicated to Duncan’s legacy, Word Dance Theater performs Duncan’s historic choreography, carefully preserved in a lineage stemming from her original protégés, along with new Duncan-inspired work blending dance, theater, and music. In partnership with Glade Dance Collective, “Body | Soul” features a half-dozen original Duncan pieces along with new interdisciplinary collaborations. Using love letters—past and present, famous and anonymous—as inspiration, the show is part of an ongoing company experiment on the range of experiences of love, which will become an immersive theater production in June 2016. Word Dance Theater performs June 13 to 14 at Dance Place, —Emily Walz 3225 8th St. NE. $15–$30. (202) 269-1600. danceplace.org.

50 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 51

----------

CITY LIGHTS: SUNDAY

THE ROYAL BALLET

3701 Mount Vernon Ave. Alexandria, VA • 703-549-7500

For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter!

Tix @ Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000

June 12

BILL KIRCHEN & TOO MUCH FUN

J U N E

and THE NIGHTHAWKS with BILLY PRICE

BILLY JOE SHAVER MCM 14 STEPHANE WREMBEL’S DJANGO-A-GO-GO REED 15 ELIZABETH COOK FOEHL 13

C

urtis urtry

June 16 & 17

18

THURSDAY JUNE 11

HUGGY LOWDOWN & CHRIS PAUL COMEDY SHOW

+ SHARON THOMAS PROJECT & SUGAR BEAR

You might expect only the most traditional performances to come out of London’s prestigious Royal Ballet. After all, the company’s president does double duty as the Prince of Wales, and he’s just second in command to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, who serves as “patron.” But in recent years, the Royal Ballet has reimagined the dance form by commissioning new works and broadcasting cinematic renditions of classics to audiences who might not normally venture to the Royal Opera House. Case in point: the version of Don Quixote the company’s brought to the Kennedy Center. The original ballet, inspired by Miguel de Cervantes’ classic novel, debuted in the late 19th century, and Royal Ballet principal guest artist Carlos Acosta has danced it several times. But when he adapted the piece in 2013, Cuban-born Acosta added some distinctly Spanish elements. Don Quixote kicks off a summer tour for the Royal Ballet, but more notably, it marks Acosta’s farewell to the stage: He’s announced that he’ll retire from ballet next summer. The Royal Ballet performs June 9 to June 14 at the Kennedy Center Opera House, 2700 F St. NW. $30–$155.

—Anya Vanwagtendonk (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

MARK O’CONNOR ‘American Classics’

GRAHAM PARKER & THE RUMOUR GM 20 JEFFMAJORS Pete 21 MADELEINE PEYROUXTRIO Molinari An Evening 23 MARC COHN with w/Robert Ellis Love 24 TREVOR HALL Mike Karen 25 MASON JENNINGS Jonas 26 MAYSA 27 PIECES OF A DREAM Sam 28 BRANDY CLARK Grow 29 THERIPPINGTONS feat. RUSSFREEMAN Grayson 30 LOS LONELY BOYS Capps Gregg July 1 AMERICA Cagno Angela 3 BILAL Johnson ‘The Bluegrass 9 ROBERT EARL KEEN Sessions’ 10 JASON D. WILLIAMS The & DALE WATSON Lonestars ike ent

19

FRIDAY JUNE 12

MARTHA REEVES & THE VANDELLAS

SA 13 JOE CLAIR & FRIENDS PRESENT BIG BAD COMEDY SHOW SU 14 SONGWRITER SUNDAY FEATURING FLO ANITO DREW GIBSON, CASH & EARLE M 15 DARYL DAVIS PRESENTS ~ AN EVENING WITH MARK WENNER

featuring MADDY PRIOR

PETER WHITE & RICHARD ELLIOTT Album 25 THEBUMPERJACKSONS Release Show EP Release &JUNIORLEAGUEBAND Show

23

52 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

countRy

waShingTon naTional CaThedral 3101 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 537-6200. Cathedral Sings: Mozart Requium. 7:30 p.m. $10. nationalcathedral.org.

birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Elizabeth Cook. 7:30 p.m. $25. birchmere.com.

Monday Rock

dC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Iceage, low life. 9 p.m. $14. dcnine.com.

11 9th Annual Mike Seeger Commemorative

OLD TIME BANJO FESTIVAL 12 SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY & The Asbury Jukes 14,15 TOAD THE WET SPROCKET 16-18 THE BACON BROTHERS 19 AMBROSIA 20 JONNY LANG 21 STEELEYE SPAN

Vocal

JUNE 17 & 18

GREGORY PORTER FRIDAY JUNE 19

THE IGUANAS SA 20 JANIVA MAGNESS F 26

THE PLATTERS

7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda, MD (240) 330-4500 Two Blocks from Bethesda Metro/Red Line Free Parking on Weekends

ioTa Club & Café 2832 Wilson Blvd., Arlington.

(703) 522-8340. Bachelor Boys. 8 p.m. Free. iotaclubandcafe.com. linColn TheaTre 1215 U St. NW. (202) 328-6000.

Neko Case. 6:30 p.m. $45. thelincolndc.com. roCk & roll hoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. Mother Mother. 8 p.m. $15. rockandrollhoteldc.com. u STreeT muSiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Alex G. 7 p.m. $17. ustreetmusichall.com.

Funk & R&B The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Snarky Puppy. 8 p.m. $38–$53. thehamiltondc.com.

Jazz

Folk 9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Josh Rouse, Walter Martin. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com.

tuesday Rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Best Coast, Bully. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com. beTheSda blueS and Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. The Comet’s Rock and Roll Show. 7:30 p.m. $20–$25. bethesdabluesjazz.com. blaCk CaT 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. The Helio Sequence. 7:30 p.m. $15. blackcatdc.com. eChoSTage 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. 7 p.m. $48.60. echostage.com. gypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700.

Midnight North, Quimby Mountain Band. 8:30 p.m. $10–$14. gypsysallys.com.

blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Bruce Swaim Quartet. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $18. bluesalley.com.

roCk & roll hoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. The Dillinger Escape Plan, Mutoid Man, Primitive Weapons. 8 p.m. $20. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

bohemian CavernS 2001 11th St. NW. (202) 2990800. Bohemian Caverns Jazz Orchestra. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $20–$25. bohemiancaverns.com.

wolf Trap filene CenTer 1551 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. David Gray, Amos Lee. 7 p.m. $25–$45. wolftrap.org.

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 53

Funk & R&B The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Snarky Puppy. 8 p.m. $38–$53. thehamiltondc.com.

blaCk CaT 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Patten is Movement. 7:30 p.m. $10. blackcatdc.com.

blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Terence Blanchard. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $40. bluesalley.com.

gypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700.

Marc Delgado. 7 p.m. Free. gypsysallys.com. 6 String Drag, Jumpin’ Jupiter. 8:30 p.m. $10–$14. gypsysallys.com.

bohemian CavernS 2001 11th St. NW. (202) 299-0800. Christie Dashiell. 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m. $15–$20. bohemiancaverns.com.

The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Justin Furstenfeld. 8 p.m. $25–$35. thehamiltondc.com.

Folk

howard TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Vertical Horizon. 7:30 p.m. $30. thehowardtheatre.com.

Jammin Java 227 Maple Ave. East, Vienna. (703) 255-1566. Sleepy Man,. 7:30 p.m. $15—$22. jamminjava.com

Hip-Hop dC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Black Milk, Mahd. 9 p.m. $15. dcnine.com. u STreeT muSiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Shamir. 7 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.

Established in 1926 2001 11th ST NW - (202)299-0800

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Jungle. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com.

ElEctRonic u STreeT muSiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Treasure Fingers, Kry Wolf. 10 p.m. $10. ustreetmusichall.com.

Butcher Brown

Wednesday Jun 10th

Russell Gunn Sunday

Funk & R&B

meets

(vocals)

Ayanna Gregory

wolf Trap filene CenTer 1551 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. Steve Miller Band. 8 p.m. $35–$50. wolftrap.org.

Braxton Cook

Heidi Martin Fri & Sat

Rock

Jazz

hill CounTry live 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050.

Jon Dee Graham. 8:30 p.m. Free. hillcountrywdc.com.

DC’s Legendary Jazz Club

Wednesday

Jun 5th & 6th

Jun 7th

Bohemian Caverns Artist in Residency

Gretchen Parlato Thur & Fri Jun 11th & 12th

Lionel Loueke

Nicholas Payton Tuesdays Sat & Sun Jun 13th & 14th

Christie Dashiell

AFRO Horn

The Greater U St. l Ju Jazz Collective

Bohemian Caverns Jazz Orchestra wspg

n Ju

Sun 6/14

Matinee Performance

presented in conjunction w/ Transparent Productions

Oliver Lake Mon Jun 15th

Bohemian Caverns Jazz Orchestra Christie Dashiell Mondays @ 8pm "This group is something special." ~ Mike West (CityPaper)

Tues Jun 15th

www.BohemianCaverns.com

54 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

CITY LIGHTS: MONDAY

FUGA MUNDI

In Catholic belief, the term “fuga mundi” or “flight from this world” can refer to entrance into a monastery or convent. Spanish playwright Mar Gómez Glez’s new work of the same name involves a convent, yes, but it isn’t as concerned with spiritual introspection as it is with women taking control over their destinies. Set in Spain during the early days of the Inquisition, the play follows Juana, a young sculptor who bases her version of the Virgin Mary on a young Moor girl. The Inquisitors disapprove of Juana’s work, so rather than destroy it, she flees and finds herself in the custody of a former lover-turned-mother superior. At a reading presented by Maryland’s Center Stage and SPAIN arts & culture, the all-woman cast answers questions about sexuality, responsibility, and art while challenging conformity in a historic work that still feels timely today. The play begins at 7 p.m. at the Former Residence of the Ambassadors of Spain, 2801 16th St. NW. Free; reservations re—Caroline Jones quired. (202) 728-2334. spainculture.us.

Jazz beTheSda blueS and Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Gregory Porter. 8 p.m. $50–$90. bethesdabluesjazz.com. blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Terence Blanchard. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $40. bluesalley.com. manSion aT STraThmore 10701 Rockville Pike, Rockville. (301) 581-5100. Rochelle Rice. 7:30 p.m. $17. strathmore.org. mr. henry’S 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Capitol Hill Jazz Jam with Herb Scott. 8 p.m.

Free. mrhenrysdc.com.

Folk Jammin Java 227 Maple Ave. East, Vienna. (703) 255-1566. The Hunts. 7:30 p.m. $10—$18. jamminjava.com. madam’S organ 2461 18th St. NW. (202) 6675370. Bob Perilla’s Big Hillbilly Bluegrass. 9 p.m. madamsorgan.com

thursday Rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Soul Asylum, Meat Puppets. 7 p.m. $35. 930.com. dC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Superheaven, Diamond Youth, Rozwell Kid. 8 p.m. $12–$14. dcnine.com. fillmore Silver Spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. AWOLNATION, Family of the Year, Sickabod Sane. 8 p.m. $25. fillmoresilverspring.com. ioTa Club & Café 2832 Wilson Blvd., Arlington.

(703) 522-8340. Erin and the Wildfire, Mammal Dapp.

8:30 p.m. $12. iotaclubandcafe.com. roCk & roll hoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. Viet Cong. 8 p.m. $13–$15. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

Fri & Sat, June 12 & 13 at Midnight!

Buy Advance Tickets Online

tickets.landmarktheatres.com

D.C.’s awesomest events calendar.

u STreeT muSiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. RDGLDGRN. 7 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.

ElEctRonic

Hip-Hop

wolf Trap filene CenTer 1551 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. Lindsey Stirling. 8 p.m. $25–$45. wolftrap.org.

fillmore Silver Spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Juicy J. 8 p.m. $29.50. fillmoresilverspring.com.

Jazz

opERa

blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Terence Blanchard. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $40. bluesalley.com.

barnS aT wolf Trap 1645 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. The Marriage of Figaro. 7:30 p.m. $36–$78. wolftrap.org.

dukem bar and reSTauranT 1114 U St. NW. (202) 667-8735. Tom Williams Quartet. 9 p.m. Free. dukemrestaurant.com.

washingtoncitypaper.com

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CITY LIGHTS: TUESDAY

HELIO SEQUENCE

One day: That’s all the time it took for the Helio Sequence to record its sixth studio album. The backstory of Brandon Summers and Benjamin Weikel’s latest release revolves around the “20-Song Game,” a challenge among musicians to write 20 songs and record them all in one day. Summer and Weikel were so pleased with their output that they later produced and arranged the songs to create this year’s self-titled LP. It only showcases half of those original songs —too much of a good thing isn’t always a good thing— but the Helio Sequence’s sixth album is just as great as its excellent first and third. A live performance from the duo is the closest you can get to witnessing what it must have been like to spend an entire day creating this wham-bam masterpiece. The Helio Sequence performs with Lost Lander at 7:30 p.m. at the Black Cat, 1811 14th St. NW. $15. (202) 667—Jordan-Marie Smith 4490. blackcatdc.com.

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 55

TwinS Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Abinnet Berhanu & Hebret Musica. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $10. twinsjazz.com.

classical UPTOWN BLUES

Welcome Interns specIal Mondays - Burger + Beer $10

Fri. June 12 Sookey Jump BlueS Band Sat. June 13 Smokin’ polecatS Fri. June 19 moonShine Society Sat. June 20 Stacy BrookS BlueS Band Fri. June 26 Swamp keeperS Band the red

Sat. June 27 Bruce ewan harmonica king happy hour m-f • 4-8 1/2 Priced aPPetizers 3000 Connecticut Avenue, NW (across from the National Zoo)

202-232-4225 zoobardc.com

LIVE

birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Mark O’Connor. 7:30 p.m. $35. birchmere.com.

theater

(a love STory) Three couples, determined to love each other as much as they can, face obstacles and challenge the assumptions about love presented in movies and music, in this new work by Kelly Lusk.

Source Theatre. 1835 14th St. NW. To June 28. $20.

(202) 204-7800. sourcedc.org. blue STraggler This dark drama revolves around an astrophysicist and chocolatier who separate amidst great tragedy. Can the scientist find the right formula to bring the lovers back together or are they destined to stay apart forever? Rebecca Bossen’s play explores the limits humans will go to for love and whether love can tear the universe apart. Source Theatre. 1835 14th St. NW. To June 28. $20. (202) 204-7800. sourcedc.org.

The book of mormon The Broadway musical about two missionaries and their misadventures in Africa arrives at the Kennedy Center for an extended summer stay. Kennedy Center Opera House. 2700 F St. NW. To August 16. $43-$250. 202-467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

CabareT Wesley Taylor stars as the Emcee in this classic musical set at a Berlin nightclub during the Nazis rise to power. An American journalist and a nightclub singer begin a tumultuous affair but the political changes forces an end to their carefree way of life. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To June 28. $29-$95. (703) 820-9771. signature-theatre.org.

The good CounSelor Alex Levy directs this production of Kathryn Levy’s new play about an attorney who defends a mother accused of killing her three-week old child and is forced to reconcile his own relationship with her in the process. 1st Stage. 1524 Spring Hill Road, McLean. To June 21. $18-$25. (703) 854-1856.

1ststagespringhill.org.

Jarry inSide ouT The life of French author Alfred Jarry, whose work inspired the Surrealist artists and the Theater of the Absurd movement, is chronicled in this biographic play written by Richard Henrich.

Spooky Action Theater. 1810 16th St. NW. To June 21. $10-$35. (301) 920-1414. spookyaction.org.

JumperS for goalpoSTS An amateur pub soccer team tries to succeed even though the players and their town have seen better days in the U.S. premiere of this play by Tom Wells. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To June 21. $20-$78. (202) 332-3300. studiotheatre.org. laS polaCaS: The JewiSh girlS of buenoS aireS This somber new musical tells the story of thousands Polish-Jewish women who were lured into prostitution by a slave trading organization in early 1900s Argentina from the perspective of Rachela, a young woman whose dreams disappear under these horrific circumstances. GALA Hispanic Theatre. 3333

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THEHAMILTONDC.COM 56 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

CITY LIGHTS: WEDNESDAY

WILLIAM CHRISTENBERRY

Photographer William Christenberry has spent the majority of his career touring rural Alabama and capturing small bits of its landscape with his camera. Over time, his work has multiplied like so much kudzu he’s shot over the years; now, it lives in the collections of museums around the world, including the Birmingham Museum of Art, MoMA, and Amsterdam’s Stedelijk Museum. Christenberry’s contributions to contemporary photography and eye for beautiful imperfections can’t be imitated, but seeing multiple works in a solo exhibition allows visitors to see the world the way he does.

Whether it’s an image of a distorted sign for soda in Memphis or a large print of a church surrounded by trees, Christenberry’s works capture an intimate experience in each piece. In his latest show at Hemphill, viewers will be able to see the South as its cities have evolved from quiet streets dotted with retro cars to major urban centers over the course of Christenberry’s career. The exhibition is on view Tuesdays through Saturdays 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., to Aug. 1, at Hemphill, 1515 14th St. NW #300. Free. (202) 234—Caroline Jones 5601. hemphillfinearts.com.

14th St. NW. To June 28. $20-$50. (202) 234-7174. galatheatre.org.

The madwoman of ChailloT WSC Avant Bard presents a new translation of Jean Giraudoux’s play about four women who come together with a group of street friends to overthrow radical capitalists.

Gunston Arts Center, Theatre Two. 2700 South Lang St., Arlington. To June 28. $10-$35. (703) 418-4808. wscavantbard.org. mary-kaTe olSen iS in love The Olsen Twins might be 27-year-old Grace’s only friends and they just might save her life in this funny play about sad people from Mallery Avidon. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To June 21. $20-$35. (202) 332-3300. studiotheatre.org. newSieS Newspaper delivery boys stand up to a powerful publisher in this lively, dance-filled musical.

National Theatre. 1321 Pennsylvania Ave. NW. To June 21. $48-$108. (202) 628-6161. nationaltheatre.org. nSfw Explore the world of glossy magazines and discover how women are exploited by both men’s and women’s lifestyle publications in Lucy Kirkwood’s biting comedy. Round House Theatre Bethesda. 4545 East-West Highway, Bethesda. To June 21. $10-$50.

(240) 644-1100. roundhousetheatre.org. oCCupied TerriTorieS Mollye Maxner’s play draws inspiration from Euripides’ The Trojan Women and examines how the history of war impacts our bodies, spirits, and relationships with each other. Anacostia Playhouse. 2020 Shannon Place SE. To July 5. $20-$35.

(202) 544-0703. anacostiaplayhouse.com.

our Town The company adds its traditional commedia dell’arte twist to Thornton Wilder’s classic play about love and life in a small town. Originally presented last year as part of Arena Stage’s Kogod Cradle Series, Faction of Fools now presents a fully staged, extended adaptation. Faction of Fools at Gallaudet University’s Elstad Auditorium. 800 Florida Ave. NE. To June 21. $12-$25. factionoffools.org.

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poTTed poTTer Two super fans send up a parody of the Harry Potter universe in this 70-minute performance. Those sitting in the premium seats can join the action in a live Quidditch match. Lansburgh Theatre.

450 7th St. NW. To June 21. $39.95-$99.95. (202) 547-1122. shakespearetheatre.org.

– Los Angeles Times

The priCe Two estranged brothers reunite in a tiny New York apartment in order to clean out their late father’s belongings in this lesser-known work by Arthur Miller. Olney Theatre Center. 2001 Olney-Sandy Spring Road, Olney. To June 21. $22-$65. (301) 924-3400. olneytheatre.org. roSenCranTz and guildenSTern are dead Aaron Posner directs Tom Stoppard’s take on the fate of Hamlet, as assessed and told by his two old friends Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Folger Elizabethan Theatre. 201 E. Capitol St. SE. To June 21. $37-$75. (202) 544-7077. folger.edu.

The ShipmenT This series of comedic vignettes examines the African-American experience through stand-up, sketches, and movement pieces and makes its regional debut at Forum. Forum Theatre at Silver Spring Black Box Theatre. 8641 Colesville Road, Silver

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CITY LIGHTS: THURSDAY

MERIDIAN BROTHERS

Colombia’s eccentric Meridian Brothers are not actually brothers. The “brothers” are a band, formed in 1998 and led by guitarist and laptop programmer Eblis Álvarez, that mixes unusually syncopated rock, cumbia, jazz, and champeta with 1950s alien movie sound effects, xylophone-like ringing, and eerie clown laughs. On its latest album, Salvadora Robot, the group also incorporates distorted vocals, animal sounds, Zappa-esque humor, and lounge keyboard grooves influenced by quirky Mexican composer Esquivel. Don’t just take my word for it: The band’s own Twitter bio describes its work as tropical collage, hapless salsa, bombastic rock, non-easy listening, eclectic shit, protest noise, and atonal cumbia. Álvarez and company may be out there in space, but they maintain rhythms that keep their sound from descending into total avant-garde chaos. They’ll be joined by Virginia slowcore band Cigarette, D.C.’s Time is Fire—which melds Sufi poetry with postpunk guitar—and local DJ collective Alumbra DC. Meridian Brothers perform with Cigarette, Time Is Fire, and Alumbra DC at 8 p.m. at Tropicalia, 2001 14th St. NW. $10–$12.

—Steve Kiviat (202) 629-4535. tropicaliadc.com.

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Is the Glass half full?

Is the Glass half empty? how about half off! realdeal.washingtoncitypaper.com washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 57

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offering is Broken Embraces, in which a blind screenwriter recalls his relationship with his tragic leading lady. Mt. Pleasant Library. 3160 16th St. NW. (202) 671-3121. dclibrary.org/mtpleasant.

STrong Celebrate Pride with a n ChriSTopher screening of this film by Dorothy Arzner, one of Hollywood’s first openly lesbian filmmakers. In the film, Katherine Hepburn stars as an aviatrix who puts her work ahead of romance until she meets a handsome family man with secrets of his own. Tenley-Friendship Library. 4450 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 727-1488. dclibrary.org/tenley.

The ConneCTion Jean Dujardin stars as a French investigator who attempts to take down one of the nation’s most powerful drug rings in this thriller directed by Cédric Jimenez. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

In select theatres

june 12

dC Caribbean film feSTival Nine films celn ebrating all aspects of the Caribbean diaspora are screened at this annual festival presented by the Caribbean Association of the World Bank and IMF Staff, the Caribbean Professional Network, the Institute of Caribbean Studies, and Africa World Now Project. AFI Silver Theatre and Cultural Center. 8633 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 495-6700. afi.com/silver. enTourage E, Drama, Turtle, and Vince reunite in this film based on the HBO TV series. When Vince’s directorial debut goes millions of dollars over budget, the gang is forced to scramble to find additional funding. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) ex maChina A computer coder and the CEO of the company he works for fight over the behavior and affection of the a female humanoid artificial intelligence in this thriller directed by Alex Garland. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) far from The madding Crowd Carey Mulligan and Matthias Schoenaerts star in David Nicholls’ adaptation of the Thomas Hardy novel about a headstrong young woman in Victorian Englad who’s pursued by Spring. To June 13. $30-$35. (240) 644-1390. forum-theatre.org.

WASHINGTON CITY PAPER

FilM

a Tale of Two CiTieS Synetic company member FRIDAY 06/12 Alex Mills stars as drag queen who finds a baby on the street and entertains it by performing the UNIT Dickens clasCHECKERBOARD sic in its entirety in this lively comedy directed by Serge ALL.MED-LHTL.0611.WCP Seiden. Synetic Theater at Crystal City. 1800 South Bell St., Arlington. To June 21. $10-$50. (800) 494-8497. synetictheater.org.

elly In this Iranian drama originally n abouT released in 2009 but now shown in wide release,

TaleS of The allergiST’S wife An Upper West Side professional luncher finds herself in the midst of a midlife crisis when she unexpectedly reunites with a mysterious childhood friend. Charles Busch’s lively comedy explores what happens when her happy, obligation-free life is upset and how her family responds.

Theater J. 1529 16th St. NW. To July 5. $30-$65. (202) 518-9400. theaterj.org.

doCS View dozens of documentaries about n afi everything from the fall of the American record

TarTuffe Moliere’s indictment of religion and its associated hypocrisy comes to Sidney Harman Hall in a co-production with Berkeley Repertory Theatre and South Coast Repertory Theatre. Sidney Harman Hall.

610 F St. NW. To July 5. $20-$110. (202) 547-1122. shakespearetheatre.org.

and gay activist Alice Walker. Angela Davis, Yoko Ono, Whoopi Goldberg, and others offer their commentary on the author of The Color Purple. Anacostia Community Museum. 1901 Fort Place SE. (202) 633-4820. anacostia.si.edu.

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The word and The waSTeland In Timothy Guillot’s play terrorist has just committed the most violent attack on U.S. soil since 9/11 and while he’s in custody, he requests to write poetry. The FBI initially allows it and searches for messages in the man’s work and his decision to have a young woman perform his work.

As the performer struggles to cope with her instant fame and FBI investigators suspect another imminent attack, no one feels safe any longer. Source Theatre.

1835 14th St. NW. To June 28. $20. (202) 204-7800. sourcedc.org. zombie: The ameriCan In this new sci-fi thriller, America’s first gay president faces a looming civil war, a philandering spouse, and, oh yeah, a zombie invasion of the White House basement. Howard Shalwitz directs the world premiere of Robert O’Hara’s creepy comedy. Woolly Mammoth Theatre. 641 D St. NW. To June 21. $40-$68. (202) 393-3939. woollymammoth.net.

a young woman disappears while visiting friends near FS/MA the ocean. While they begin searching for her, stories and secrets #1 are revealed, putting each visitor in an uncomfortable position. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information)

three very determined and very different suitors. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) faTher of The bride Enjoy this light-hearted n comedy about a father who struggles to give his daughter away when she announces her plans to marry. Starring Elizabeth Taylor, Joan Bennett, and Spencer Tracy. Tenley-Friendship Library. 4450 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 727-1488. dclibrary.org/tenley. gemma bovary A man obsessed with Gustave n Flaubert leaves Paris for a small French town to further explore the author’s roots. When he arrives, he meets a young English couple who happen to have names similar to Flaubert’s famous characters and must figure out their connection to the author. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) knowS whaT A young heroin addict n heaven falls in love with the drug and a young man, who persuades her to slit her wrists, in this raw drama based on Arielle Holmes forthcoming memoir, Mad Love in New York City. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) i’ll See you in my dreamS Blythe Danner stars as a widow in her 70s who decides to start dating again in this emotional comedy. Among her prospects are a charming older fellow, as well as her friendly, young pool boy. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) inSidiouS: ChapTer 3 A psychic agrees to help a teenage girl rid herself of the evil spirits that have taken over her body but finds that fighting spirits is harder than it appears. Leigh Whannell directs the third film in this horror series. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) iriS Celebrated documentary filmmaker Albert Maysles chronicles the life of 93-year-old style icon Iris Apfel and explains how creativity spurs her actions, even as at an advanced age. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) JuraSSiC world Picking up two decades after n Jurassic Park left off, this sequel explores what happens when a new attraction, aimed at increasing

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store to the rise of Mexican drug cartels at the 12th annual celebration of documentary film. AFI Silver Theatre and Cultural Center. 8633 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 495-6700. afi.com/silver. walker: beauTy in TruTh A new n aliCe documentary about Pulitzer Prize-winning author

alofT A mother (Jennifer Connelly) reconnects with the son (Cillian Murphy) she abandoned in this film that looks back on the accident that drove them apart and their subsequent lives. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information)

In select theatres

june 12

avengerS: age of ulTron All your favorite superheroes return to take on the evil Ultron and his army of evil robots in the sequel to the 2012 blockbuster. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) nighT fallS Javier Bardem stars in this n before stirring biopic about Cuban author Reinaldo Arenas and his journey from rural Cuba to the U.S. as part of the Mariel boatlift. Tenley-Friendship Library. 4450 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 727-1488. dclibrary.org/tenley. embraCeS The Mt. Pleasant branch n broken celebrates Pride by presenting a series of films by acclaimed Spanish director and screenwriter Pedro Almodóvar every week in June and July. This week’s

58 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

WASHINGTON CITY PAPER FRIDAY 06/12 CHECKERBOARD UNIT

FS/MA

this is the ad that freaks you out.

In select theatres

june 12

The roCky horror piCTure Show Dress up, dance, and sing along to the songs from this campy musical about a couple who find themselves stranded in a mysterious mansion with a mad scientist and his team of assistants. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

Spy Melissa McCarthy stars as a CIA desk agent who

roSSlyn ouTdoor film feSTival Every Friday night, just across the Key Bridge in Virginia, outdoor cinema takes the centerstage. This year’s LOL Fridays lineup includes; Wedding Crashers, Mean Girls, Happy Gilmore, Tommy Boy, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, When Harry Met Sally, Anchorman, Clueless, The Big Lebowski, Austin Powers, The Hangover, Despicable Me, and Zoolander. Gateway Park. 1300 Lee Highway, Arlington. (703) 228-6525. rosslynva.org/events.

of youTh Alicia Vikander and Kit n TeSTamenT Harrington star in this romantic drama about a

San andreaS When a massive earthquake completely obliterates Los Angeles, a helicopter pilot heads north to rescue his daughter in San Francisco.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Carla Gugino star in this thrilling action flick directed by Brad Peyton. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

alive in this new film starring George Clooney and

ShorTS from rural rouTe View n SeleCT 10 short films from this New York-based festival, which celebrates traditional cultures and topics ignored by the mainstream media. Among the screened films are Zeek Earl and Chris Caldwell’s Prospect, Alex Lora and Antonio Tibaldi’s A Hole in the Sky, and Réka Bucsi’s Symphony No. 42. National Gallery of Art. 4th Street and Constitution Avenue NW. (202) 737-4215. nga.gov.

Serving in SilenCe: The margareThe Cammermeyer STory Glen Close stars in this drama based on a true story, about a National Guard captain who challenges her involuntary discharge after she reveals that she is gay. Chevy Chase Library. 5625 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 282-0021. dclibrary.org/chevychase.

n

Seymour: an inTroduCTion Ethan Hawke directs this documentary about Seymour Bernstein, a piano teacher, artist, and consummate New Yorker. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

volunteers to go undercover and take down an international arms dealer in this comedy directed by Paul Feig. Jason Statham, Jude Law, and Rose Byrne co-star.

(See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

couple that falls in love during World War I and the subsequent trauma they endure while waiting for the war to end. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) Tomorrowland The world of the future comes inspired by the Disneyland attraction of the same name. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) when marnie waS There In this Japanese n animated movie directed by Hiromasa Yonebayashi, a young girl’s life is transformed when she begins having visions of another girl who used to live in her house years ago. Actors Hailee Steinfeld, Kiernan Shipka, and Geena Davis provide the English dubbed voices. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) woman in gold Helen Mirren stars as Maria Altmann, a Holocaust survivor who takes her fight to reclaim a portrait of her aunt that was stolen by the Nazis all the way to the Supreme Court, in this film inspired by a true story. Co-starring Ryan Reynolds and Katie Holmes. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

Film clips are written by Caroline Jones.

Naked Gun trilogy. Priscilla Presley and George Kenrevenue, backfires. Starring Chriss Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Vincent D’Onofrio.WASHINGTON (See washingtoncityCITY PAPER nedy co-star. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue paper.com for venue information) information)

FRIDAY 06/12

la Sapienza A distracted writer takes off for Italy in CHECKERBOARD UNIThis wife the hopes of completing his book. As he and journey through the nation, theyALL.MED-RHTL.0611.WCP meet new friends and learn to overcome anxiety and appreciate life once again. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

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The ChurCh Say amen David Patterson’s n leT 2002 film looks at four Shaw residents whose connection to their neighborhood’s storefront church allows them to combat the homelessness and violence that impact their lives. A discussion of the film with Patterson follows the screening. Anacostia Community Museum. 1901 Fort Place SE. (202) 633-4820. anacostia.si.edu.

noma Summer SCreen Free, thirteen week outFS/MA door film series set Storey Park. This year’s theme is “Dance, #3Dance, Dance” and the line-up includes: Dirty Dancing, Center Stage, Bride & Prejudice, Flashdance, Strictly Ballroom, Grease, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, Singing in the Rain, Save the Last Dance, Moulin Rouge, Stomp the Yard, and Footloose. Storey Park, 1005 First St. NE. nomabid.org/noma-summer-screen. iS burning This award-winning docun pariS mentary takes viewers inside New York City’s drag balls, where performers in elaborate costumes preen and compete for audiences. Watha T. Daniel Shaw Library. 1630 7th St. NW. (202) 727-1288. dclibrary.org/watha.

from new york Go behind the scenes limb, a horSe iS noT a meTan live and explore the 40-year history of Saturday Night n phanTom phor In Phantom Limb, director Jay Rosenblatt Live in this lively documentary directed by Bao Nguyen.

(See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) love and merCy Paul Dano stars as Brian Wilson in this new biopic that chronicles the Beach Boys’ rise to fame and Wilson’s later descent into psychosis and treatment by a shady doctor. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) mad max: fury road In the fourth film in director George Miller’s series, Max (now played by Tom Hardy) must protect a group of women as they flee a tyrannical gang and cross an immense desert. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) and earl and The dying girl This dark n me comedy that won both the Audience Award and the Grand Jury Prize at this year’s Sundance Film Festival follows a young man whose life changes dramatically when he befriends a classmate with cancer and decides to make a film for her. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) The naked gun: from The fileS of poliCe Squad Leslie Nielsen stars as a bumbling cop who can’t seem to avoid trouble in the first movie of the

uses found footage to create a portrait of his brother’s decline and death. In A Horse Is Not a Metaphor, filmmaker Barbara Hammer chronicles her own recovery from cancer in front of the camera. National Gallery of Art. 4th Street and Constitution Avenue NW. (202) 737-4215. nga.gov. piTCh perfeCT 2 The competing a cappella groups from the 2012 film return in this sequel that finds the Barden Bellas at the world championships. Starring Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, and Elizabeth Banks.

(See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) polTergeiST Gil Kenan reimagines Steven Spielberg’s thriller about a house that’s overtaken by evil spirits and the parents who have to save their child when the spirits overwhelm her. Starring Sam Rockwell and Rosemarie DeWitt. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

In SELECT theatres

june 12

reSulTS In this raucous comedy, two personal trainers have their lives upended by the actions of a new client.

Guy Pearce, Cobie Smulders, and Kevin Corrigan star.

(See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

washingtoncitypaper.com june 12, 2015 59

WASHINGTON CITY PAPER FRIDAY 06/12 CHECKERBOARD UNIT

FS/MA

60 june 12, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

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Adult Phone Entertainment

Adult Employment

Contents: Out with the

...............................................61 old,Adult In with the .....................63 newAuto/Wheels/Boat Post your Buy, Sell, Trade listing with Marketplace.................................63 Washington Community...................................63 CityEmployment.................................63 Paper Classifieds Health/Mind, http://www.washingtonBody & Spirit ...............................63 citypaper.com/

Housing/Rentals ..........................61 Legals Notices..............................61 Music/Music Row........................61 Pets.................................................61 Real Estate ....................................61 Services........................................63

Adult Nightclubs Dancers up to $1,000.00 nightly apply after 7pm Mcdoogals.com 410-437-2834

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Legals IDEA PUBLIC SCHOOL

CHARTER

REQUEST FOR PROPOSAL The IDEA Public Charter School solicits proposals for the following: •IT Desk Support - provide daily desktop and network support to staff and students.

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Please go to www.ideapcs.org/ requests-for-proposals to view a full RFP offering.

Please direct any questions to bids@ideapcs.org.

Proposals shall be received no

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Mechanics’ Lien 2006 Dodge VIN# 2d4gv57256h474280 Sale to be held: June 20, 2015 at 10a.m. On the premises of: Hasheem Ebrahim, 4700 Cremen Rd. Temple Hills, MD 20748.

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Classified Ads Print & Web Classified Packages may be placed on our Web site, by fax, mail, phone, or in person at our office: 1400 I (EYE) Street NW Suite 900 Washington, D.C. 20005.

Commercial Ads rates start at $20 for up to 6 lines in print and online; additional print lines start at $2.50/line (vary by section).

Your print ad placement will include web placement plus up to 10 photos online.

Premium options available for both print and web may vary.

Print Deadline The deadline for submission and payment of classified ads for print is each Monday, 5 pm.

You may contact the Classifieds Rep by e-mailing classifieds@washingtoncitypaper.com or calling 202-650-6926.

For more information please visit www.washingtoncitypaper.com

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Legals

Legals

AT&T Mobility Services, LLC (AT&T) proposes to upgrade an existing telecommunications facility located at: •6817 Georgia Ave NW in Washington, DC (Project 31013).

•6200 Oregon Ave NW in Washington, DC (Project 31017).

•3701 Massachusetts Ave NW in Washington, DC (Project 31019).

•3202 Pennsylvania Ave SE in Washington, DC (Project 31021).

Request for Proposal or Invitation for Bid Food Service Management Services Monument Academy Public Charter School Monument Academy is advertising the opportunity to bid on the delivery of breakfast, lunch, snack and/or CACFP supper meals to children enrolled at the school for the 2015-2016 school year with a possible extension of (4) one year renewals. All meals must meet at a minimum, but are not restricted to, the USDA National School Breakfast, Lunch, Afterschool Snack and At Risk Supper meal pattern requirements. Additional specifi cations outlined in the Request for Proposals (RFP) such as; student data, days of service, meal quality, etc. may be obtained beginning on June 12, 2015 from Emily Bloomfi eld at (202) 7706361 or Emily.bloomfi eld@monumentacademydc.org. Proposals will be accepted at 2238 Q Street, NW, Washington, DC 20008 on July 7, 2015, not later than noon.

All bids not addressing all areas as outlined in the RFP will not be considered.

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In accordance with the National Historic Preservation Act of 1966 and the 2005 Nationwide Programmatic Agreement, AT&T is hereby notifying the public of the proposed undertaking and soliciting comments on Historic Properties which may be affected by the proposed undertaking. If you would like to provide specifi c information regarding potential effects that the proposed undertaking might have to properties that are listed on or eligible for listing in the National Register of Historic Places and located within a 300-yard viewshed surrounding the host structure, please submit the comments (with project number) to: RAMAKER, Contractor for AT&T, 1120 Dallas St, Sauk City, WI 53583 or via e-mail to history@ramaker.com within 30 days of this notice.

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Mechanics’ Lien: 03 Toyota VIN# 1NXBR32E93Z153994 Sale to be held: June 20, 2015 at 10a.m. On the premises of: Hasheem Ebrahim, 4700 Cremen Rd., Temple Hills, MD 20748.

Legals Washington Global Charter School

Public

Request for Proposals Washington Global Public Charter School solicits proposals for ELL support services: Please direct questions and proposals to rfp@buildinghope.org.

Proposals shall be received no later than 5:00 P.M., Friday, June 19, 2015.

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Mechanics’ Lien: 1998 Toyota VIN# 4T1BG22KXWU852741 Sale to be held: June 20, 2015 at 10a.m. On the premises of: Hasheem Ebrahim, 4700 Cremen Rd., Temple Hills, MD 20748.

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Legals NORTH CAROLINA IN THE GENERAL COURT OF JUSTICE DISTRICT COURT DIVISION DUPLIN COLTNTY FILE NO: 15 CVD 163 MONICA FAISON EVANS Plaintiff vs.

IRA WAYNE EVANS Defendant.

NOTICE OF SERVICE OF PROCESS BY PUBLICATION

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TAKE that a pleading FIND NOTICE YOUR OUTLET. seeking relief against you has RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT been filed in the above entitled acCLASSIFIEDS tion.

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MIND,isBODY & SPIRIT You are required to make defense tohttp://www.washingtonsuch pleading not later than citypaper.com/ July 21, 2015, said date being 40 days from the first publication of this notice, or from the date complaint is required to be filed, whichever is later, and upon your failure to do so the party seeking service against you will apply to the court for the relief sought.

This is the 9th day of June, 2015. http://www.washingtonciS. Reginald Kenan Attorney for typaper.com/ Plaintiff 106 West Hill Street Post Offi ce Box 472 Warsaw, N.C. 28398 NC State Bar: 9300 Telephone: 910-293-7801 Facsimile: 910-293-7431

Out with the FIND YOUR FIND YOUR old, In with OUTLET. OUTLET. the new RELAX, RELAX, UNWIND, Post your UNWIND, REPEAT listing with REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS CLASSIFIEDS Washington FIND YOUR OUTLET. HEALTH/ HEALTH/ RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT City YOUR Paper CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ MIND, BODY FIND MIND, BODY MIND, BODY & SPIRIT Classifieds SPIRIT OUTLET. http://www.washington&&SPIRIT http://www.washingtcitypaper.com/

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O R E J U S http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ E N E W E N L D C U E R http://www.washingtoncityFREEB TRIAL paper.com/ S O O T A Meet sexy new friends D U A L T U B E R J U N A V E N A T O Connect Instantly R E N L E E S C K A R A T L www.vibeline.com A U B E Get your local cal number: 1.800.811.1633F 18+ FREE Discreett Chat Y O U S U R E TRIAL Guy to Guy A R E A B A R P A L D A U B I N T I A T E P A Y S T E D

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1 Viscous stuff 2 Symbols of wisdom to some, death to others 3 Mulligan 4 Make hard to read 5 2016 GOP hopeful’s first name 6 “___ souris verte” (children’s song) 7 Blood bank fluids 8 ___ of Capricorn 9 “Let me” 10 First U.S. newspaper to run KenKen puzzles, briefly

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17 19 20 21 22 23 26

37 Some jeans 39 Doesn’t own Ultraviolence 42 Basso Pinza Belieber’s boy 43 Ring measurement 76ers, in chyrons 45 Salon job “Barefoot Blue 47 Breast Cancer Jean Night” Awareness mo. singer Jake http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ 48 “Sorry, I dropped Cabinet Gustave on department the floor”?

Time it takes for a 52 “Is that right?” cavern to form 54 Short boot?

Math problem from Pythagoras?

55 Vicinity ___ Avengers 56 Grasshopper’s home?

Fire pit stuff 58 Grammy winner Well-put for “Electric Above Feel” Two-way 61 Brah “No, really, 62 Bruins who do let me” crude paintings?

Intersection 66 Did dinner where you can 67 Before the buzzer buy potatoes?

68 Frozen Four org.

Main thoroughfare: 69 2016 GOP Abbr. hopeful’s first name Belgiumbased grp.

70 Settles, as a bill Emo theme 71 Day worker?

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11 Place where kids can meet kids 12 Hostess treats 13 Totally incompetent 18 About face 22 Unified 24 Not closed all the way 25 Renaissance fair instrument 27 Model Amey 28 Conference presentation 29 Iris’s locale 30 Drunk and then some 31 Time being 35 “This ___ Beat” (phrase trademarked by Taylor Swift) 36 Carry-on bag 38 Pico de gallo, e.g.

40 Rock cliffs 41 Darth Sidious’s group 44 Sigma follower 46 Word dropped, to everyone’s shock 49 University of Illinois site 50 Miss America, e.g.

51 Temporary ruler 52 Pester, barkingstyle 53 Take to the pulpit 57 DH’s stats 59 Stinging stuff 60 Mine car 62 Tobacco you chew 63 Poultry that tastes like beef 64 One turn with the dumbbells 65 Totally drain

LAST WEEK: FILM ON LOCATION B L O W S O N

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T R I O M E N L Z E L D K E E A S T L S S I I E A T O R R B I R E S C O T E B B A C O C H B L E S E X

S O A P E D

S A C K O U T

Legals SUPERIOR COURT OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA FAMILY COURT DOMESTIC RELATIONS BRANCH In the matter of: Eugene D. Davis, Jr. D0cket . 2015 FSP 190 Judge Jennifer A. Di Toro ORDER On March 20, 2015, Nicole Ashley Green filed an Application for Change of Name of a Minor on behalf of the minor child, Eugene D, Davis, Jr. born on February 23, 2012 in Washington, D.C. A hearing on the Application for Change of Name was held on April 20, 2015. The Petitioner appeared pro se before the court. Ms. Green represented that Matthew J. Shelton is the minor child’s biological father and that she has not served Mr. Shelton with the Application for change of Name. The court finds that Matthew J. Shelton is an interested party, as he is the minor child’s father, and this matter shall be continued in order to allow Ms. Green additional time to serve him. Additionally, the court finds that notice of the Application shall be published in a newspaper of general circulation once a week for three consecutive weeks.

Wherefore, it is this 20th day of April, 2015, ORDERED, that the Application for Change of Name of a Minor Child shall be HELD IN ABEYANCE; it is further ORDERED, that the Petitioner shall serve Matthew J. Shelton with the Application for Change of Name of a Minor Child and with a copy of this Order prior to the next hearing date and file proof of such service with the court; it is further ORDERED, that pursuant to DC. Superior Court Rules of Civil Procedure 205, the petitioner shall publish notice of the “filing of the application, the substance and prayer thereof and the date of final hearing... once a week for 3 consecutive weeks in a newspaper in general circulation in the District of Columbia” and bring proof of publication with an attached copy of the notice as published to the next hearing date. A separate Notice shall be issued by the court to be published. It is further ORDERED, that the parties shall appear for a further hearing on the Application for Change of Name on June 22, 2015 at 10:30 a.m. in Courtroom JM-9. Failure to appear may result in a default or a dismissal.

IT IS SO ORDERED, Jennifer A. Di Toro Associate Judge Copy to: Nicole Ashley Green Hand Delivered in Court Petitioner Matthew J. Shelton To be served

by Petitioner Interested Party

Office/Commercial For Sale Offices For Rent, DC Petworth & Cheverly, MD (parking in MD) for church services, recording studio & rehearsal space, etc.

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Apartments for Rent College Park, Green Line Metro, 1 BR, living, dining area, kitchen, 1BA. 1.5 blocks from College Park Metro station. Quiet building, parking, From $875/mo. includes heat and water. Direct TV and FIOS available. Laundry in building. 1 year lease, 1 month security deposit. Mgr. 301/277-1755.

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One Bedroom, shared bathroom & kitchen, newly renovated located in the heart of NW Washington DC minutes away from Howard University. One year lease, security deposit required. Range $850 - $875 per month. No pets/no smoking. Call 301-731-0622 or email us at customerservice@thebpmasonry construction.com Private room Sil.Spring townhouse, with bath- access to other living area. No kitchen, refrigerator, microwave, small oven provided. Private entrance - Need NON-Smoker.$700 Rent includes utilities. Call or email for appointment. 301-586-8191 Gay White Male With 2 Cats seeks housemate/health aide for fully furnished room in NE DC. Metro, parking, all Amenities.

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Rooms for rent in Maryland.

Shared bath. Private entrance.

W/D. $700-$750/mo. including utilities, security deposit required. Two Blocks from Cheverly Metro. 202-355-2068, 301-7723341.

Capitol Hill Living: Furnished Rooms for rent for $1,100! Near Metro, major bus lines and Union Station - visit website for details www.TheCurryEstate.com

Beauty, Fashion & Modeling Earn $500 A Day as AIRBRUSH MAKEUP ARTIST for: ads, TV, fashion. HD & Digital 35% off tuition - One Week Course taught by top makeup artist & photographer.

Train & Build Portfolio. Models provided. Accredited. A+ rated AwardMakeupSchool.com, 818980-2119.

Garage/Yard/ Rummage/Estate Sales Flea Market every weekend 10am-4pm. 5615 Landover Rd. Cheverly, MD. 20784. Contact 202-355-2068 or 301-772-3341 for details.

Events www.4kwalkrun.eventbrite.com SAT JULY 18 7:30a-4p Great Falls Park, VA $9 BE A SPONSOR. FREE BOOTHS. FAMILY. SINGLES DATE CHARITY AUCTION. MUSIC

Miscellaneous

Volunteer Services

KILL BED BUGS! Harris Bed Bug Killers/KIT Available: Hardware Stores, Buy Online/Store: homedepot.com

Defend abortion rights. Washington Area Clinic Defense Task Force (WACDTF) needs volunteer clinic escorts Saturday mornings, weekdays. Trainings, other info:202-681-6577, http://www. wacdtf.org, wacdtf@wacdtf.org.

Tickets for Sale FOR SALE - 2 tickets to the Aug 19 Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons show at WolfTrap @ $218.99 per ticket; located in the Front Orchestra, Row D, center section.

Sold as a pair. Cash only. Please call Joe at 703-969-2724.

Cars/Trucks/SUVs Cash For Cars Any Car/Truck.

Running or not! Top dollar paid.

We come to you. Call for Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com.

Musical Instruction/ Classes

Clinical Studies Do you smoke cigarettes?

You may be eligible to participate in a research study. Men and women 18 years or older who smoke cigarettes daily are needed for a three-week study. Study participants will be compensated up to $285. To see if you are eligible, visit www.ecigstudy.org.

This study will be conducted in the Washington, DC area.

The Principal Investigator is Dr. Jennifer Pearson, Legacy, Chesapeake IRB#00008526.

Counseling

Voice, Piano/Keyboards-Unleash your unique voice with outof-the-box, intuitive teacher in all styles classical, jazz, R&B, gospel, neo-soul etc. Sessions available @ my studio, your home or via Skype. Call 202-486-3741 or email dwight@dwightmcnair.com

Musicians Wanted

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Licensed Massage & Spas

Business Opportunities Make $1000 Weekly!! Mailing Brochures From Home. Helping home workers since 2001. Genuine Opportunity. No Experience Required. Start Immediately. www.theworkingcorner.com.

Education Update your skills for a better job! Continuing Education at Community College at UDC has more than a thousand certified online & affordable classes in nearly every field. Education on your own. http://cc.udc.edu/continuing_education

General AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get started by training as FAA certifi ed Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualifi ed students.

Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563

Insurance AUTO INSURANCE STARTING AT $25/ MONTH! Call 855-9779537

Antiques & Collectibles WANTED: Soul/R&B 45s, LPS, 12”s, Show Posters (see Globe Posters), or any DC area soul music related memorabilia.

1950s-1980s considered. Cash paid. Call 703-380-7952

Recording Artist Xyra seeks drummer-percussionist and lead guitarist for new project. Rehearsals in Leesburg, VA. Gigs; 6th CD release. 703.901.5358 www.xyramusic.com

Bands/DJs for Hire DJ DC SOUL man. Hiphop, reggae, go-go, oldies, etc. Clubs, caberets, weddings, etc. Contact the DC Soul Hot Line at 202/2861773 or email me at dc1soulman@live.com.

Announcements Artisans wanted - Art to fashion to specialty to food -Oh have we grown! “Art Rave” outdoor at Dupont & “Art Rave” Indoor at Shaw (Georgia & Florida Aves) Apply at DistrictHouseDC.com. Outdoor 14th corridor surrounded by so many outdoor cafes across Whole Foods near Trader Joe’s & some 4K new residences. Every Sat. til X-mas, 11am-5pm. Indoor, a Macy’s size buiding, wrap around showcase windows to help feature your works. So sucessful we are open 5 days a week now - Wed. thru Sun. Written up as one of the best cultural fashion & art centers in DC & beyond. We have the capacity to produce your fashion or art on premises or holding classes in our exhibit rooms. More Info 202-460-6633.

RELAXING SOOTHING MASSAGE reduce your stress, relax your mind, energize your body and restore your balance. Great technique, sensitivity and intuition.

Location MacArthur Blvd ,NW,DC Private Offi ce in the Palisades.

Outcalls welcome. By appointment only. 240-463-7754valerie@yourclassicmassage.com MD License #R00983 Monday through Friday: 10am. To 6pm

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SEPTEMBER http://www.washingtoncity26–27, 2015 paper.com/ UNION MARKET

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