Washington City Paper (February 10, 2017)

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TS AR IDE G IN INS R SP IDE GU

A 96-year-old in sex ed, tunes to mediate quarreling couples, the joys of posing nude, and more P. 12

housing: A lousy lot For Former temPle Courts resideNts 7 food: ex Athletes Who get CookiNg 17 arts: rAPPer ArdAmus hustles ANd groWs 21

2 february 10, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

INSIDE 12 Love & Lust

A 96-year-old in sex ed, tunes for mediating quarreling couples, the joys of posing nude, and more Illustrations by Stephanie Rudig

4 Chatter distriCt Line 7

A Lousy Lot: For former Temple Courts residents, another eight years of waiting won’t do. 8 The Indy List: Week two of our new column featuring local events and products 10 Savage Love 11 Gear Prudence

d.C. feed 17 Sport Order Cooks: Are restaurants the answer for retiring athletes in need of scoring second careers? 19 What’s in Stein’s Stein: Blue Bee Cider’s Charred Ordinary from maker Courtney Mailey 19 Beltway Barbecue Battle: A guide to the area’s new barbecue restaurants 19 ’Wiching Hour: The Torta “El Sol” at Mezcalero Cocina Mexicana

23: One Track Mind: Furniteur’s dance-floor pop gem “Brat.” 24 Film: The Oscarnominated Live Action and Animated Short Films 25 Curtains: Klimek on Wooly Mammoth Theatre’s Baby Screams Miracle 26 Short Subjects: Olszewski on The LEGO Batman Movie 27 Discography: Coup Sauvage & the Snips’ Heirs to Nothing

City List 29 Music 30 Theater 33 Film

34 CLassifieds diversions 35 Crossword

arts 21 Hustle and Grow: For years, Ardamus has been one of the most prolific rappers in the D.C. area. He’s still trying to make sense of it all. 23 Arts Desk: Highlighting the art of local gig posters. washingtoncitypaper.com february 10, 2017 3

CHATTER

Deplorable

In which readers demand elected officials do something

Darrow MontgoMery

ReadeRs weRe Rightfully indignant over revelations in last week’s investigative piece from Alexa Mills and Andrew Giambrone about the systematic strategy slumlord Sanford Capital employs to force residents to leave: allowing buildings to become squalid (“Profit and Loss,” Feb. 2). And that’s despite the company being enriched with about $3.7 million a year in local and federal subsidies through tenant housing vouchers. D.C. Attorney General Karl Racine has deemed the company’s practices so negligent that his office has sued Sanford. Drphungky’s response was not unlike our own. “What the fuck is the city council doing about this?” the reader wrote on Reddit. “We talk about a lack of affordable housing, and let this guy become a slumlord to try to flip properties to developers? Like, good on the DCAG, but there should be more public movement on this. It’s a no brainer optics wise too. No one likes slumlords. Go hold a press conference in front of the building and rail against the abuses. I mean that seems like an easy political win. … Maybe this article will help bring some awareness, at least. Good on the City Paper for some real local journalism where the Post seems to be lacking these days.” The D.C. Council has so far been silent on the issue, busy as it is with legislation such as Councilmember Brandon Todd’s recent resolution warning of the risks of heavy backpacks for D.C. schoolchildren. Such little solace for mothers forced to heat their apartments with their ovens, assuming they’re even working. Meanwhile, when City Paper asked Mayor Muriel Bowser this week whether she had read the piece chronicling the company’s abject delinquencies, she offered a hard “no.” Bowser, whose mayoral campaign received contributions from Sanford, was apparently unmoved some weeks ago after visiting the company’s G Street Apartments, where mold, cockroaches, and dead refrigerators are prevalent. “Mayor Bowser was standing right here where you’re standing right now, just five, six weeks ago,” resident Warren Branham told Mills. “She came right here, but she didn’t come in.” Bowser did, however, promise a follow-up DCRA visit. City Paper reader Betsy B hopes elected officials beyond Racine will ultimately take notice. “This is muckraking in all its glory,” she wrote. “I can only hope that this article, and the Jacob Riis worthy photos, wake up people who have the power to restore the human rights of Sanford’s tenants and that, even better, it puts other slumlords on notice.” We do too. —Liz Garrigan

GRAveLLy PoinT PARK, ARLinGTon, FeB. 5

EDITORIAL

eDiToR: liz garrigan MAnAGinG eDiToR: alexa Mills ARTS eDiToR: Matt Cohen FooD eDiToR: laura hayes CiTy LiGhTS eDiToR: Caroline jones STAFF WRiTeR: andrew giaMbrone SenioR WRiTeR: jeffrey anderson STAFF PhoToGRAPheR: darrow MontgoMery inTeRACTive neWS DeveLoPeR: zaCh rausnitz CReATive DiReCToR: jandos rothstein ART DiReCToR: stephanie rudig CoPy eDiToR/PRoDuCTion ASSiSTAnT: will warren ConTRiBuTinG WRiTeRS: jonetta rose barras, VanCe brinkley, eriCa bruCe, kriston Capps, ruben Castaneda, Chad Clark, justin Cook, shaun Courtney, riley Croghan, jeffry Cudlin, erin deVine, Matt dunn, tiM ebner, jake eMen, noah gittell, elena goukassian, sarah anne hughes, aManda kolson hurley, louis jaCobson, raChael johnson, Chris kelly, aMrita khalid, steVe kiViat, Chris kliMek, ron knox, john krizel, jeroMe langston, aMy lyons, Christine MaCdonald, kelly MagyariCs, neVin Martell, keith Mathias, traVis MitChell, triCia olszewski, eVe ottenberg, Mike paarlberg, noa rosinplotz, beth shook, Quintin siMMons, Matt terl, dan troMbly, kaarin VeMbar, eMily walz, joe warMinsky, alona wartofsky, justin weber, MiChael j. west, alan zilberMan

ADvERTIsIng AnD OpERATIOns

PuBLiSheR: eriC norwood SALeS MAnAGeR: Melanie babb SenioR ACCounT exeCuTiveS: arlene kaMinsky, aliCia Merritt, aris williaMs ACCounT exeCuTiveS: stu kelly, Christy sitter, Chad Vale SALeS oPeRATionS MAnAGeR: heather MCandrews DiReCToR oF MARKeTinG AnD evenTS: sara diCk BuSineSS DeveLoPMenT ASSoCiATe: edgard izaguirre oPeRATionS DiReCToR: jeff boswell SenioR SALeS oPeRATion AnD PRoDuCTion CooRDinAToR: jane MartinaChe PuBLiSheR eMeRiTuS: aMy austin

sOuThcOmm

ChieF exeCuTive oFFiCeR: Chris ferrell ChieF oPeRATinG oFFiCeR: blair johnson ChieF FinAnCiAL oFFiCeR: bob Mahoney exeCuTive viCe PReSiDenT: Mark bartel GRAPhiC DeSiGneRS: katy barrett-alley, aMy goMoljak, abbie leali, liz loewenstein, Melanie Mays

LoCAL ADveRTiSinG: (202) 650-6937 FAx: (202) 618-3959, ads@washingtonCitypaper.CoM FinD a staFF Directory with contact inFormation at washingtoncitypaper.com voL. 37, no. 6 FeB. 10-16, 2017 washington City paper is published eVery week and is loCated at 734 15th st. nw, suite 400, washington, d.C. 20005. Calendar subMissions are welCoMed; they Must be reCeiVed 10 days before publiCation. u.s. subsCriptions are aVailable for $250 per year. issue will arriVe seVeral days after publiCation. baCk issues of the past fiVe weeks are aVailable at the offiCe for $1 ($5 for older issues). baCk issues are aVailable by Mail for $5. Make CheCks payable to washington City paper or Call for More options. © 2016 all rights reserVed. no part of this publiCation May be reproduCed without the written perMission of the editor.

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Dear Readers of Washington City Paper: We care what you think. Really, we do. We ask you again for your favorite haunts, your favorite bartender, your favorite vegetarian joint,

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DistrictLine A Lousy Lot

For former Temple Courts residents, another eight years of waiting won’t do. By Andrew Giambrone

housing complex

tween the neighborhood’s young professionals and longtime residents. It’s an assessment that resonates with Brown and his peers—older and younger— who dream of seeing their erstwhile community return in some form for their own kids. Those who used to live at Temple Courts (or “Temple Court,” as some former residents say) recount a family atmosphere not limited to blood ties, a place where residents looked out for one another. This despite the ailing conditions of the complex leading up to its demolition and a harrowing 2004 incident in which a hired hand shot and killed a 14-year-old girl, Jahkema “Princess” Hansen, in the Sursum Corda apartments after she had witnessed a killing at Temple Courts. The execution-style murder catalyzed a response from officials to improve the site. “If you had one bad moment, you had about 10 good moments,” Brown says, recalling regular fish fries, sports games, and the go-go bands that performed outside. “It was so family-oriented. To see something like that—something so pure, something so beautiful—get torn apart like that … it’s a disgrace.” With help from the Washington Interfaith Network, former Temple Courts residents have been organizing for a seat at the table as the Bowser administration selects a development team for the site. The tenants have asked for a mix of unit sizes to accommodate families, the elimination of barriers to returning to the apartments like unreasonable criminal background and credit checks, and rents that will be affordable to households making under 30 percent of the area median income—

$108,600 for a family of four as of 2016. These priorities were worked into D.C.’s developer solicitation for the Ward 6 site. After months of community input, the city plans to choose a team this spring. “It’s like building a house,” says Sabrena Turner, who grew up at Temple Courts with her parents and grandmother. “If you went and had a house built, you’re going to be with that builder from beginning to end. We’re not asking to take over the process, just to be part of it.” Former tenant Nathan Brown

Darrow Montgomery

NathaN BrowN gazes across the surface parking lot where his home once stood as his son and daughter play with their two cousins on an adjacent patch of grass. Brown grew up in Temple Courts, a low-income community on the west side of North Capitol between K and L streets that the District razed in late 2008 to make way for a new mixed-income development. Brown and the other residents of Temple Courts’ original 211 apartments were guaranteed a right to return to the site, which was to be redeveloped into a denser project with a third of all units priced at market rate. That promise has yet to materialize. The redevelopment plans were drawn up under Mayor Anthony Williams’ New Communities Initiative, an ambitious but ineffective urban renewal policy resulting in little actual development for years on end. Mayor Muriel Bowser’s administration says each site is now progressing, either with groundbreakings, zoning approvals, or land dispositions. But those who left Temple Courts have largely been in the dark about their site’s future since the wrecking balls hit the complex. “We done waited eight years,” says Brown, who is now unemployed and living in an affordable one-bedroom at the Severna on K building, home to several Temple Courts expats. “We don’t have eight more.” Stand there as the sun sets, and the parking lot can feel like a crossroads between Chocolate City and the modern District. Surrounding the property to the north and east are the historic Mount Airy Baptist Church (“a monument to Jesus,” the sign above its doors reads), a recently opened modular building for homeless veterans and very low-income residents, and NPR’s spaceship-like headquarters, where the day’s news runs tickerstyle on the facade. The parking lot is in the middle of NoMa, one of the top three D.C. neighborhoods for residential development in 2016. At a gathering last May for former Temple Courts tenants, a student who goes to the public school around the corner called the area “NoMore” in a spoken word poem reflecting tensions be-

Those who once lived at Temple Courts are now scattered across the region, though several dozen were placed in apartments near the site with vouchers from the D.C. Housing Authority. Some have shuffled between public housing projects in the District, while many are at risk of homelessness, staying temporarily with relatives or friends. (“They moving post to post,” Brown says. “They don’t have stability.”) Others have died—“crossed over” like Turner’s grandmother. Just last week, a handful of the 300 or so former Temple Courts residents who are still

around met amicably with Bowser and city planning officials to discuss their needs. An organizer who attended says residents were told that the administration is currently considering nine separate development proposals for the site. Turner, who also went to the meeting, recalls hearing a projected completion date of 2019 or 2020 (District officials declined to confirm specifics). Tenants say they don’t know the details of these proposals but were glad Bowser committed to directly including them later in the process. “A step in the right direction,”Brown says of the sit-down. District officials say tenant input about the site will be a priority. “The goal is to push as quickly as we can, but doing so with neighborhoods and residents in mind,” says Joaquin McPeek, a spokesman for Brian Kenner, D.C.’s deputy mayor for planning and economic development. Given the significant number of families displaced from Temple Courts, stakes are high for the District in choosing a redevelopment plan that former tenants will support. As Tiffany Mitchell explains, “We watched y’all take our community from us and promise us all these promises.” She says she’s “comfortable” where she is at the Severna on K, but that doesn’t erase the memories. Snapping her fingers, Mitchell recalls how quickly residents had to move before the complex was razed. “It was terrible,” she says, adding that police were swarming the property. How the site ended up—a parking lot—has bred distrust of the government. Natalie Williams, who also grew up at Temple Courts, says she worries about her two children having a permanent place to live. She’s staying at a relative’s apartment while her kids go to Walker-Jones Education Campus, the neighborhood elementary and middle school she once attended. “I can’t displace my babies right now,” she says. If she can’t find housing with a case manager’s help, her next best option is Baltimore. Brown says the passage of time since Temple Courts came down and the deaths of some former tenants hang heavy on his heart. He hugs his kids and says, “We lived around this parking lot all our life.” CP

washingtoncitypaper.com february 10, 2017 7

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Tickets to tour this abandoned streetcar station turned art space are now on sale for February. $15. 1500 19th St. NW. dupontunderground.org

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smell: Essential Oils Take part in this pop-up class taught by Pax Apothecary in collaboration with Cherry Blossom Creative. “Making Scents with Essential Oils,” $45-$80. Feb. 13. 7:00-9:00pm. At Cherry Blossom Creative. 2128 8th St. NW. Tickets: paxapothecary.com

shop: The Outrage The Outrage donates at least 15 percent of every purchase to women’s empowerment organizations. Nasty women embroidery, $32. 2439 18th St. NW. www.the-outrage.com

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taste: Cuban coffee and a pastry Cafe cubano, $2.85; Guava pastelitos, $2.25. Colada Shop. 1405 T St. NW. www.coladashop.com

By Kaarin Vembar Do you have a tip for The Indy List? Independent artists, retailers, and crafters, send your info to indylist@washingtoncitypaper.com. 8 february 10, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

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RESEARCH ON ALCOHOL USE VOLUNTEERS NEEDED Doctors at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) seek volunteers for a research study that will evaluate if inflammation of the brain occurs in individuals who are alcohol drinkers. Researchers want to see if 3-4 weeks without alcohol shows less inflammation in the brain.

You may qualify if you: • Are 30 to 75 years old • Have a minimum 5 year history of heavy alcohol drinking • Drink at least 20 alcohol drinks/week if male or 15 drinks/ week if female • Are seeking or not seeking treatment for your alcoholdependent condition

You may not qualify if you: • Have a medical condition that can impact brain function • Have had head trauma with loss of consciousness for more than 30 minutes • Have a history of drug abuse other than alcohol • Are pregnant or breast feeding • Are allergic to lidocaine • Have a history of a bleeding or clotting disorder • Have a positive urine test result for illicit drugs

About the study: • Participation may require 2-3 days of inpatient overnight stay. • Participants will have magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) and positron emission tomography (PET) scans of the brain. • Participants in this study will have tests at two time points: one shortly after a bout of alcohol drinking (less than one week after you last drank alcohol). If the brain images show evidence of inflammation the tests will be repeated at least 3 weeks after abstaining from alcohol. Repeating these same tests at least 3 weeks later, will let us know if the inflammation improves with abstinence. • Participants whose results show inflammation in the brain will be invited to participate in the alcohol detox phase for 3-4 weeks followed by a repeat of the imaging scans.

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Only do the fuck buddy thing with Republicans. —DS I’m a 31-year-old straight female. I have an intermittent sexual relationship with a married polyamorous friend. Each time we hook up, he says he regrets it. But several months later, he will contact me and we will hook up again. Should I say no? What do you think is up? Your friend’s head is what’s up—up his own ass. Stop letting him stick his dick up yours. (P.S. His regret has me wondering if his marriage is actually open or if he’s cheating on his wife. If you’ve never discussed their polyamorous arrangement with her, that’s probably what’s up.) —DS Why are liberals okay with people self-identifying their gender but not their race? Aren’t both considered social constructs? “If race and gender are both social constructs,” Evan Urquhart writes at Slate, “and if both have been built around observable biological traits,

10 february 10, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

then what is the crucial difference that makes a felt gender identity a true one, but a felt racial identity fraudulent? The short answer is that most trans people and their allies suspect that transgender people are born that way.” (Google “Evan Urquhart,” “trans,” and “race” to read the rest of his essay.) —DS

We just legalized weed here in Massachusetts! Yay! How can I, as a consumer but industry outsider, help to ensure more diversity in the legal selling business? Before the shops open, get in the face of your elected officials to make sure licenses are made available to pot entrepreneurs of color. Once legal weed shops are open, go out of your way to patronize pot shops owned by people of color and insist all legal weed shops employ people of color and pay a living wage. And once the profits start rolling in, demand that pot activists and shop owners stay in the fight to demand that people convicted of possessing or selling pot in the past—primarily POC—get full pardons and restitution. —DS Please elaborate on your suggestion that an open relationship could save a marriage. Here’s an example: married couple, together a long time, low-conflict relationship, good partners. Spouse #1 is done with sex—libido gone, no interest in taking steps to restore it—but Spouse #2 isn’t done with sex. This can play out two ways: (1) Spouse #1 insists on keeping the marriage closed, and Spouse #2 opts for divorce over celibacy. (2) Spouse #1 allows for outside contact, they open the marriage up, and monogamy is sacrificed but the marriage is saved. —DS How do you get over the guilt of being a straight guy? I used to feel a lot of sexual shame from hearing that men are pigs all the time. I got over most of it, but I still have leftover shame. I want to be respectful of women without having to take responsibility for the actions of every asshole straight man out there. As a gay man, I’m not responsible for the actions of Roy Cohn, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Peter Thiel. Likewise, I deserve no credit for the accomplishments of Michelangelo, Alan Turing, and Stephen Sondheim. When you feel the shame and guilt welling up, all you can do is remind yourself that you’re not responsible for the piggishness of Donald Trump or the awesomeness of Chris Kluwe. (And just to complicate things: While most straight women hate straight male pigs, most straight women want their men to be pigs—but only now and then, and only for them. A dash of controlled/ vestigial piggishness is a desirable trait, not a

disqualifying one.)

—DS

What’s the healthiest way to address jealousy in a relationship with a jealous and confrontational partner? The healthiest thing would be for your jealous and confrontational partner to address their issues with a therapist after you’ve dumped them. —DS Fuck, marry, kill: Donald Trump, Rick Santorum, Mike Pence. Fuck everything, call off the wedding, kill myself. —DS I see you’ve resurrected your ITMFA campaign. (Bragging rights: I got the Mass license plate ITMFA. The DMV tried to take it back when someone complained, and the ACLU won the case for me! I removed the plate, of course, after Obama won.) My question: If Trump is removed from office—if we “impeach the motherfucker already”—we’ll have Mike Pence. Do you really think he’d be any better? We already have Mike Pence. And Pence, as awful as he is, oscillates within a predictable band of Republican awfulness. With a President Pence, we’ll get shitty Supreme Court nominees, attacks on queers and people of color, and fiscal mismanagement. With President Trump, we get all that plus war with Mexico and Australia. And you don’t have to remove your ITMFA buttons once Trump is removed from office—keep ’em on until Pence is impeached, too. Speaking of impeachment: Four in 10 Americans support impeaching Trump. Nixon didn’t hit that number until 18 months into the Watergate scandal. And speaking of my ITMFA campaign: We’ve already raised $100,000 at ITMFA.org, with all proceeds going to the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and the International Refugee Assistance Project. Get your ITMFA hats, buttons, and T-shirts at ITMFA.org! (Coming soon: coffee mugs and stickers!) —DS DEAR READERS: Valentine’s Day is coming up. This is your annual reminder to #FuckFirst— have sex and then go out to dinner. Don’t have a heavy meal, drink, eat some chocolate gut bomb of a dessert, and then write to me on the 15th whining about how you didn’t get laid on the 14th. Fuck first! Or better yet, stay home and fuck all night on the 14th and go out to dinner on the 15th. You’re welcome. On the Lovecast, Dan chats with polyamory luminary Cunning Minx: savagelovecast.com. Email your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net.

Adopt a friend today!

Gear Prudence Gear Prudence: I’m new to biking, so I don’t know what’s considered normal, but here’s something I don’t get at all: Why do people name their bikes? Is this a thing that a lot of people do or are my bike friends just weirdos? — Cyclists Obviously Going Nuts Over Meaningless Egregious Naming Dear COGNOMEN: Your bike friends are weirdos. Not because they name their bikes but because there must be something off about them if you felt compelled to ask GP this rather than simply shrugging off the supposed eccentricity or just joining in on the anthropomorphizing fun. People name their bikes to imbue them with a sense of specialness. Most bike brand names are boring, and odds are there are countless other riders out there with the same exact ride. But how many others are riding Shadowfax or Rocinante? OK, maybe a lot. Don’t name your bike after a horse. It diminishes both mounts. Literary allusions are fun (and demonstrate that you went to college), but what you need is a highly personalized moniker. Take the name of your first pet and the street you grew up on and then don’t use either of those because they’re probably totally inappropriate for a bicycle. Be creative. Of course, naming your bike is hardly a prerequisite, and it’s far better to leave it nameless than to half-ass it or feel self-conscious about it. But if you like naming your stuff, go nuts. —GP

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Gear Prudence: Why do bike lights even have a flash setting? Flashing lights are terrible and needlessly blinding, especially on dark trails. Car lights don’t flash—they’re just a steady beam. Is there some historical or technical reason why bike lights would need to flash? — Flickering Lights Annoy So Hard Dear FLASH: “It’s to cut through the clutter,” says Carlton Reid, executive editor of BikeBiz.com. “Bike lights never used to be as strong as car lights so were made to blink (hence their first nickname, blinkies).” In the pre-LED world, when cyclists couldn’t pack nearly as many lumens as is customary now, the blinking lights served a practical purpose that car lights never needed to. A flashing red tail light alerted drivers to the distinctive presence of a bicyclist (and/or evoked the evil computer HAL 9000 from Space Odyssey), which resulted in drivers being more cautious. GP surmises, though, that your primary concern is flashing white lights on the front of bicycles, which are indeed annoying. Those evoke no evil space computers and are therefore quite useless (aside from saving some battery life). A steady beam is kinder to your fellow cyclists and will also light your path more consistently. —GP

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Stephanie Rudig

A 96-year-old in sex ed, tunes to mediate quarreling couples, the joys of posing nude, and more

The Church and the Steeple The Unitarians want to prepare us all for hot sex. By Alexa Mills For anyone still traumatized by high school sex ed, you can have a do-over. The District is host to a comprehensive sexual education class for adults in what many might consider the unlikeliest of places—a church. At All Souls Unitarian Universalist in Columbia Heights, the current course session is underway, with 14 participants ranging in age from 23 to 96 who have committed five Monday evenings and two Saturdays to learning about sex, sexuality, and healthy relationships. At 96, eldest student Bert Steinberg is probably the least in need of the class. “I would

doubt that I would be involved with anything that would be new to me about sex that I didn’t already find out in my long and very happy life,” he says. But he was still eager to sign up because his wife Le Anne, nearly four decades his junior, was interested as soon as she saw the listing in the church bulletin. Le Anne Steinberg, 58, came of age in a small Texas town. “My parents did not talk about sex at all, other than when they said to me, ‘If you do it, don’t come back through that door.’” Her mother had gotten pregnant at 16 and wanted to prevent Le Anne from the same fate. But that left her in the dark. Like many course participants, she still has questions even in middle age. She says the

12 february 10, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

class is wonderful. All Souls’ sex curriculum is formally called “Our Whole Lives,” or OWL. The Unitarian Universalist Association has been developing and enhancing it since the late 1960s. The most popular and widely used segment is geared toward adolescents and teens, but the full curriculum includes age-appropriate modules for kindergartners through adults. The course has long been inclusive and diverse, with a unit on gay sex established in 1973. A special program on sexuality for people age 50 and older is currently in field testing. “OWL presents sexuality as a good and creative force that can enhance life, as well as generate life,” says Tracy A. Zorpette, one of two

facilitators for the D.C. group. “That is a radically different perspective for a lot of people and a lot of faith traditions.” The course includes a mix of facts (including a detailed unit on anatomy) and feelings (such as how to communicate desires). It supports sexual relationships that are mutual, respectful, and free from coercion. As a course of policy, facilitators answer every question participants ask. And just in case people are too shy to speak up, there’s a box for submitting anonymous queries. In a recent course, adults asked: “What is the hymen?” and “Is the G-spot real?” “Often there’s never been a context outside of junior high health class to actually ask questions,” says Steven Stichter, the group’s prima-

ago. Le Anne was divorced and Bert a widower. They got to talking, and she was determined to write up an eHarmony profile for Bert so he would get more dates. But then they fell in love and soon decided to marry. It’s been nothing but love and roses (actual roses, on a regular basis) ever since. In her marriage to a nonagenarian, Le Anne has been pleasantly surprised that sex doesn’t end with old age. “That was a revelation to me,” she says. “And now I realize that as you get older, you don’t have to give up any of the things you enjoy.” (She kept these revelations to herself when the couple went to visit her mother, who put them in separate twin beds.) In fact, Bert counts sex as one of his primary interests, in addition to baseball and the theater. “My parents had a sex manual for married people,” he says. “I don’t know whether my mother left it around by accident or deliberately, but I learned a lot about marriage and sex.” He grew up in New York City and began reading the book at 14 or 15. This was approximately 1935. Of the class, Steinberg says, “Obviously, this was a group that was willing to be open about their feelings, and I’m all for that.” cp

Stephanie Rudig

ry facilitator. Their goal is most often to ensure that everyone feels safe having a conversation, rather than arriving at a specific answer. Take the G-spot question. “The key is learning about how your body responds, and being comfortable with it, and being comfortable talking about it,” Zorpette says. The course is faith-based but open to everyone. “All Souls views human sexuality as a gift and a sacred dimension of our lives,” says All Souls minister Rebecca Parker. “And we understand that using that gift in responsible and life-affirming ways requires information and spiritual and ethical education.” In class, facilitators start by lighting a chalice candle and doing a welcoming reading. Together they write a “covenant,” or a list of rules and values guiding their interactions, such as listening respectfully to others and speaking for oneself. The Unitarian approach is fairly new to the Steinbergs. Bert identifies as an atheist, and Le Anne is a Lutheran. “We didn’t find a Lutheran church in D.C. that would welcome an atheist Jew,” she says of her husband. Their religious backgrounds are typical in most Unitarian churches. The Steinbergs met on a cruise a few years

Blood Lines

Competing theories on menstruation form the backdrop of The Affair creator’s play The How and the Why.

By Chris Klimek Probably the least horrifying thing to show up on the Internet last week was Crazy Ex-Girlfriend co-creator and star Rachel Bloom’s too-hot-for-TV music video “Period Sex.” That 95-second clip is more ribald than anything in The How and the Why, a 2011 play by The Affair creator & showrunner Sarah Treem opening at Theater J next week. But the two share a broad subject. The How and the Why takes the form of two long conversations between two biologists who have competing theories about the evolutionary origins of menstruation. “It’s so calorically expensive to shed an endometrial layer every freaking month,” observes the Rachel character, a 28-year-old NYU grad student. The other character is Zelda, a 56-year-old professor at an unnamedbut-c’mon university in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Zelda is keenly interested in the new hypothesis Rachel has developed to explain this bodily phenomenon, because it is in direct opposition to her own theory, one that earned Zelda the prestigious Dobzhansky Prize when she was Rachel’s age. Their collegial discussion of Rachel’s presentation of her work at an academic conference strays into more emotionally raw topics: motherhood, careers v. relationships, discrimination against women in the scientific disciplines. It’s rich, riveting stuff. But if you’re looking for something steamy, you’re better off sticking to Showtime. Still, intellectual obsession can be even

more powerful than the carnal kind. And obsession, says Treem, is wherefrom good writing hails. “We have this joke on my TV show, where more than half my writers are playwrights,” she says, speaking from her car in Los Angeles. “Someone will say, ‘I feel very passionately about that issue. I wrote a whole play about it.’ So now [anytime someone expresses a strong opinion], it’s, ‘Oh, did you write a whole play about it?’” What moved Treem to write a whole play in this case were two theories she read about in Natalie Angier’s 1999 National Book Award winner Woman: An Intimate Geography. One of them is known as The Grandmother Hypothesis, which speculates that humans’ brains evolved and lifespans increased because their young had other guardians—specifically, postmenopausal women—to care for them while their mothers were pregnant with or nursing their younger siblings. In other species, the female’s life after menopause tends to be shorter. In real life, it was University of Utah anthropologist Kristen Hawkes who proposed this idea; in Treem’s play, it belongs to Zelda. “After you’ve defended [your theory] to thousands of people, it becomes like an old lover,” Zelda says. Rachel’s competing idea involves the “toxicity” of sperm. It suggests that menstruation bathes the uterus in immune cell-rich blood instead of just water every month because hu-

washingtoncitypaper.com february 10, 2017 13

mans, as Rachel puts it, “fuck all the time—not just in heat. Not just to reproduce.” In the real world, evolutionary biologist Margie Profet is the author of this theory. The How and the Why, then, is among the small canon of stories that ascribe a specific real-world idea to a fictional character. (Asked for an example of another play that does this, Treem cites Tom Stoppard’s Arcadia, which touches on the origins of chaos theory and other advanced mathematics. I feel foolish because I love that play and I’d completely forgotten the math part.) Shirley Serotsky, The How and the Why’s director, reaches for a more mainstream specimen, noting that Tina Fey massaged Rosalind Wiseman’s nonfiction book Queen Bees and Wannabes into her screenplay for Mean Girls. The Charlie Kaufman/Spike Jonze movie Adaptation is also a sort of riff on Susan Orlean’s

nonfiction book The Orchid Thief and Robert McKee’s screenwriting manual Story. “The second wave of feminism made us believe and maybe made us hope that there was a version where you could say yes to all the choices and that would work out,” Serotksy says. “And the reality is of course that that doesn’t work out. And so in a world where you can’t live all the lives, which lives do you choose?” Treem moved up and down the East Coast frequently when she was growing up. She attended high school in North Carolina and went to Yale for college and graduate school. She still thinks of New Haven, Connecticut, as home, though she has lived in Los Angeles for years. She says she hasn’t seen a production of The How and the Why since the first one at Princeton University’s McCarter Theatre six years ago. It’s more because she’s been busy than because she’s been avoiding them, she says. But

she wants her material to have “a life beyond the office,” noting that successful plays can be reinterpreted in perpetuity while screenplays are, with very few exceptions, never again performed once they’re filmed. “I sometimes feel like the trap of [The How and the Why] for theater people, who are less versed in science and much more experienced talking emotionally, is to reverse the dialogue so that the emotional stuff is easier and the science stuff is harder,” she says. “And that’s really wrong. The play isn’t constructed that way, and it won’t really work that way.” In the years since she wrote The How and the Why, Treem has premiered only one subsequent play, 2014’s When We Were Young and Unafraid. She’s been busy with her TV show. (Before creating The Affair, she worked as a writer and producer on HBO series In Treatment and the Netflix drama House of Cards.)

But of greater relevance to the themes examined in The How and the Why is the fact she has become a mother: She has a 4-year-old son and a 9-month-old daughter. “I wrote it when I was 27 or 28, very much the Rachel character,” she says. “And now I’m a little closer to the Zelda character.” As she wrote, she believed that one character would have to win the scientific debate for the piece to reach a climax. Her breakthrough, she says, was the discovery of yet another idea— one I’ll abstain from giving away—that marries the ideas ascribed to Zelda and Rachel. “You actually do need to know the answer to the question of the play,” Treem says. “You choose a topic that you are sort of obsessed with, something that causes you a tremendous amount of anxiety. And you are personally searching for an answer through the writing of the play.” cp

Dissonant Notes

How a local attorney is using music to help couples mediate their differences. By Devan Cole

Darrow Montgomery

Karen Lake

14 february 10, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Robin and LamaR Schaffer had sought the help of marriage counselors before. But when the two decided in October to tackle their problems again, they settled on a less conventional approach. So they rented a Maryland tree house and invited “conflict resolution” DJs to help them sort things out. Yeah, that’s a thing. The Schaffers were among the first clients of Music Resolution, a mediation and marriage counseling company that uses music to help couples work out their differences. D.C. attorney Karen Lake, who says she first thought to use music this way during a fight with her boyfriend, founded the company. “I played a song for him to express [my feelings] because he would never listen to me,” Lake says. “And I thought, ‘This would be a great way to combine mediation and music as a way to resolve disputes with couples.’” Lake, 53, has worked as a mediator for nearly 30 years—first in the Ohio court system and more recently on a contract basis in the civil rights office of the Department of Agriculture. And though the inspirational fight she had with her boyfriend is several years behind her, she ultimately found a way to parlay her expertise and insight into helping other quarreling couples. Lake describes the company, which she co-owns with her Los Angeles-based business partner Jehan “J” Carter, as an alternative to marriage counseling. “We are a mediation practice that uses music as the medium of communication,” she says. Couples interested in this unconventional process can expect an initial $250 intake session, which gets them each an individual meeting with either Lake or Carter. Initially,

the conflicted couple meets separately with the DJs to talk through their problems. Also separately, the partners select songs that best speak to their own issues as well as tunes that express how they would like to move forward in resolving conflicts in their relationship. After selecting their respective playlists, the couple is ready for the actual session, which can range in price from $425 to $700. With both parties present, the DJ mediator walks them through the ground rules and directs them to sign a contract agreeing to abide by a set of rules governing their interactions during the session. One member of the couple begins by playing a song that describes his or her own issues,

and at the end of the song the DJ mediator “articulates the main issues and concerns raised by the initiator’s song choice.” The other person takes a turn at the same task, and then the participants alternately respond to the issues that the mediator raises. Next, the mediator plays the resolution songs the couple chose and facilitates a “discussion about how to move forward.” If issues remain, they can meet again with the mediator. With all their grievances aired, the mediator helps the couple draft what Lake calls the “love contract.” “The love contract helps build a strong framework of shared expectations, and these contracts often benefit the couples to engage

in equitable and active dialogue,” Lake says. “It memorializes the agreements they made in the mediation session.” It can be updated and amended as necessary. The session ends with each partner signing their love contract and replaying their resolution songs. Robin Schaffer, whose conflict song was “If You Don’t Know Me By Now” and whose resolution song was “The Marriage Prayer,” describes the experience with her husband as “deep and heartfelt.” She says the surrounding woods offered a warm environment for what they were doing. “We had some breakthroughs,” she says. “I just felt more connected. ” Her husband, who chose “Don’t Let Me Be

Misunderstood” as his conflict song and “To Know You is to Love You” as his resolution song, was impressed with the way the DJ mediators executed the process. “We really opened our connection, and we appreciate each other more now,” Lamar Shaffer says. For the couple, it was better than traditional therapy. “It rekindles your love for your partner,” Lamar says. The company plans to launch a second office in Los Angeles, which Carter will manage. The two women are hoping to offer their services to some of the city’s celebrity couples too. The L.A. launch party, scheduled for May, will be hosted at a fitting venue: Hollywood’s Museum of Broken Relationships. cp

my body. In addition to giving me a feeling of serenity, modeling became a way for me to claim my body for myself. Every woman is familiar with the feeling of her body not fully belonging to her. It happens when a stranger tells her exactly what they’d do to her if they had the chance, or when someone critiques their appearance, or during any number of the other indignities to which women are often exposed. Some might think that posing naked for strangers would feel unsafe or objectifying, but I found it safer and less degrading than the street harassment to which I’m regularly subjected. Most people I’ve met at drawing sessions take it seriously and tend to be laser-focused on the task at hand. Plus, it’s a pretty cool out-of-body experience to see yourself depicted in drawn or painted form. I found not only bodily autonomy in modeling but artistic ownership, too. Art history is full of examples of the lover/muse figure, often an artist herself who was limited by the opportunities of her time or her “master’s” ego. From Victorine Meurent, best known

from Édouard Manet’s “Olympia” but a talented painter in her own right, to Camille Claudel, who sculpted the hands and feet on many of Auguste Rodin’s masterpieces, these women were doomed to be overshadowed by their partners, relegated to historical footnotes, or remembered mostly for their physiques. I wanted to rebuke that tradition, to be considered an artist first and model second. I made a point of showing up to sketch at the same places I modeled, usually prompting a glimmer of recognition from those who had previously seen me nude. It’s been years since I’ve modeled, but I’m certain that my time as the subject has informed how I approach drawing the human form now. My casual attitude toward nudity in art has convinced some of my friends to be my amateur models, and I’ve been delighted to discover that they too find the experience illuminating. So now, when dealing with stage fright, perhaps I’d do better to picture myself naked in front of an audience, rather than the other way around. cp

Art History Buff The naked truth about nude drawing classes i took oFF my robe and tossed it on the floor, and all eyes were fixed on me. No, this isn’t some Penthouse fantasy, but the start of a nude drawing class. I’ve had the opportunity to attend them both as an artist and as a figure model, which has been an, ahem, revealing experience. My first foray into figure drawing was in high school when I wanted to build a portfolio that I could use to apply to art colleges. So my mom signed me up for a class at a local university. I was as nervous about the situation as any awkward teenager would be, and even more so when I arrived to find that the model was an old man. While the instructor set up the lights, I dug around in my bag of supplies and tried to act nonchalant. I didn’t need to act for long—the robe dropped, and nothing much happened. The model settled into a pose, and my discomfort vanished as I focused on outlining the sketch. Turns out that a person sitting still in the nude isn’t really that alluring. Trying to puzzle out how to depict that oddly shaped shadow under the model’s ankle bone, or how to draw that thumb positioned at a strange angle, it’s difficult to view the person in terms of conventional attractiveness. Wrinkles, cellulite, paunchy stomachs, weird patterns of body hair, hunchbacks, and so on all serve to add visual interest in a sketch. Drawing long and often enough exposes a wealth of body types, providing a reminder of the sheer diversity of human biology. Toiling over the task, scanning every millimeter of a person’s skin and watching every muscle tense and twitch, I marveled at the complexity of our bodies the myriad personalities contained in mounds of flesh.

I ended up studying art in college, and freshman year I took drawing classes in which I’d often spend eight straight hours staring at a nude form. In this intensive studio setting, nudity became almost mundane, nothing more than endless hours of inhaling charcoal dust while staring at an old woman’s knobby spine. On top of this, there was lots of homework, which often meant having to find models during non-class hours. Seeing that posing nude was no big deal, I occasionally stripped down in a friend’s dorm room for a few sketches, in addition to having my torso cast in plaster and covering my naked body in paint and splattering it onto a canvas. After graduating college, I was working in a coffee shop while looking for a job, and modeling was a great side hustle, paying more than double what I made as a barista. I was also genuinely interested in posing for other people as an artistic exercise. Having spent so much time on the other side of the easel, it was interesting to take what I had observed and apply it to create dynamic poses. Some classes or sessions consist of a single long pose, but more often each pose lasts anywhere from a minute or two to half an hour. In those situations, I had fun choosing those that conveyed a certain mood or that I thought would be interesting for others to draw. Modeling is also a deeply meditative experience. I’m full of nervous energy, and “sitting,” as it’s called (even when standing), forced me to stop and soak in the stillness. I developed a yoga-like hyper-awareness of

Stephanie Rudig

By Stephanie Rudig

washingtoncitypaper.com february 10, 2017 15

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UnreqUited love is painful and awkward and therefore generally not celebrated on Valentine’s Day. This seems doubly cruel to me. I would like to counter that, and take this opportunity to examine Rufus Wainwright’s “The Art Teacher,” the most beautiful and involving song about unrequited love that I know. I have a feeling Rufus might agree with me in that assessment. He strikes me as a confident dude. You can tell that the unique, sonorous power of Rufus Wainwright’s voice is not lost on the man himself. I suspect he’s as intoxicated by it as we are. Every note feels like he has inhaled some kind of divinity and is merely exhaling it mellifluously toward you. This mastery has surely been achieved with tremendous discipline. But it ultimately appears to involve no effort at all. If you like Rufus Wainwright, this is certainly an essential reason; his voice is like some kind of Dionysian luxury none of us should be able to afford. If you dislike Rufus Wainwright’s music, his voice is also the primary reason. It seems ideal for show tunes. I’m in the former camp. I love it. In Wainwright’s rich catalogue of indulgent melancholy, “The Art Teacher” is the clear master work. It is deeply, wildly sad. The “voice” in the song is an older woman (the phrase “pants suit” suggests she’s in her 60s) who is recalling a childhood crush on the

title character. We learn that the crush was not only unrequited, but possibly the worst kind of unrequited: never even recognized by the crush object. The scenario unfolds in past tense. We learn this crush was no ordinary crush. It was the kind of crush that makes the soul soar with aching, delirious longing. The song suggests it is the kind of pure love that perhaps only happens once in a lifetime. Through the memory of the woman, we learn that the art teacher was a passionate and inspiring (and presumably handsome, alluring) high school school teacher. The teacher loved art and, because he was talented, he was able to transfer that love to his students. We’re taken on class field trips to the Met. We gaze at classical masterpieces and we can feel the young girl swooning, overwhelmed by the beauty of both the art and the teacher. Of course, the teacher only intends to convey love of art. In the present, all of this is now just nostalgia. The girl has now become a woman. And the art teacher is now long gone, possibly not even alive anymore. One particularly affecting detail is that the woman is married. She married some kind of captain of industry, perhaps lovelessly. She has made profound compromises in her life. But the heaviest, most haunting suggestion in the song is the sense that she has resigned to make peace with all of it. Maybe she accepts her fate to pine away forever for a childhood crush. Because this story is so moving, we forget about the gender mischief of Wainwright (a confident gay man) singing from a woman’s point of view. And we also forget about the time/age displacement that has him speaking from the perspective of someone much older. All we feel is the ache and desire. The last line of the song is delivered with an upward arching melody that feels almost exultant. But it is extremely sad: “Never have I loved any other man.” And just as we’re feeling the tragedy of that, we’re met with a final surprise: An audience erupts in applause, making it apparent we’ve been listening to a live performance this entire time. It serves to remind us that Wainwright’s musicality is prodigious. But it also feels like a startling, sudden communion with many other people experiencing the same emotion. So maybe you are not alone after all. Happy Valentine’s Day. —Chad Clark Listen to “The Art Teacher” at washingtoncitypaper.com/arts.

DCFEED

A pair of Pineapple & Pearls chefs will be slinging street-style tacos at Archipelago on U Street NW on Sunday starting at 5 p.m. They should pair well with the tiki bar’s tropical drinks.

Sport Order Cooks Are restaurants the answer for retiring athletes in need of scoring second careers? By Laura Hayes Ari Gejdenson never felt at home in the classroom. The soccer player turned D.C. restaurateur only slogged through two years of high school. “I’m not your average learner, but I was very good at sports,” he says. So at age 16 he boarded a plane to Santa Cruz, Bolivia to play for Club Florida—a second division professional team. Life was good. The teenager earned an annual salary o f $38,000 plus perks for doing what he loved. His early career also included a stop in Chile before returning to the U.S. to play for the now defunct Connecticut Wolves and, later, the Baltimore Blast. Gejdenson had a scare when he broke his tibia playing in Charm City. The injury took him off the field for about six months. Luckily, his stepfather was coaching the Washington Freedom—a local women’s professional team—and let him train with the team until he was scouted to play in Italy. His time in Italy led not only to the second half of his professional career—but also a career in restaurants. While playing for a team in San Gimignano, Gejdenson used his savings to open Ari’s Diner in Florence in 2003. “I opened the diner trying to plan financially,” he says. “There were lots of big stars on my team in San Gimignano—they were broke and I was making way less—so I had to do something.” Gejdenson’s diner provided a place for expats to chow down on breakfast food late at night. “I remember clearly the day I realized this is what I want to do,” he says. “I had this crazy homesick American girl come in. She was so miserable, it was difficult to be around her.” Gejdenson fed her blueberry pancakes and a chocolate shake, and she sprung back to life like one of those bathtub grow toys. “I watched her become a completely normal, pleasant person, and I was like, ‘I get paid for this?’ This is something I can really do. I used to entertain people by playing a game. Now I entertain by feeding people.”

Retired soccer player and restaurateur Ari Gejdenson

Darrow Montgomery

Young & hungrY

Gejdenson also became part owner of Acqua Al 2, down the street from Ari’s Diner. That’s where Gejdenson’s partner Stefano Innocenti encouraged him to “learn how to

cook every last thing.” He manned the kitchen there for three years. If the name Acqua Al 2 sounds familiar, it’s because that was the first restau-

rant Gejdenson opened when he returned to his native Northeast D.C. The cozy Capitol Hill spot specializing in pasta opened in 2010. From there, Gejdenson opened Harold Black, Ghibellina, Denson Liquor Bar, and Sotto. Most recently, Gejdenson took over a whole corner of Ivy City with an American rendition of Ari’s Diner, plus Dock FC and La Puerta Verde. Soccer bar Dock FC is special not only because it’s a temple to Gejdenson’s sport, but also because it’s inspired by the original Summers Restaurant in Arlington where he grew up watching games. Gejdenson was fortunate to find second career success—something pro athletes, who stare down retirement as early as their late 20s, can’t always attain. Much has been written about the topic, but perhaps the most damning was Sports Illustrated’s 2009 piece reporting that 78 percent of NFL players were struggling financially or bankrupt two years into retirement. And within five years of retirement, 60 percent of former NBA players were broke. The report blamed joblessness and divorce. A 2015 Forbes article, “5 Reasons Why 80% Of Retired NFL Players Go Broke,” offers further explanation, such as lack of financial planning, the fact that many players support their entire families, and, most notably, the lack of preparation for a second career. Sure, a few retiring pros fall into broadcast jobs or coaching gigs, but that leaves the majority grasping for meaningful work in entirely new realms. Retired NHL player Jeff Halpern says players become accustomed to the ebbs and flows of playing seasons. “When that stops, you lose your direction,” he says. The former Caps player says his goal over the course of 14 seasons in the league was to do well enough financially to support an “exciting” second career. He’s found that both as a coowner of Astro Doughnuts & Fried Chicken and as the assistant coach of the Syracuse Crunch—an AHL hockey team affiliated with the Tampa Bay Lightning. Halpern started the doughnut shop with downtown and Falls Church locations with his childhood friend Elliot Spaisman. The pair, who used to stop at Montgomery Doughnuts after hockey practice near the Lakeforest Mall in Maryland, reunited when Halpern was winding down his career. “It was really good for me to focus and use my brain for something other than getting ready for a season or playing,” he says. “Some guys are different. Some can’t wait to kick back.” Like Halpern, some athletes are dipping their toes into restaurants before their ca-

washingtoncitypaper.com february 10, 2017 17

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reers are over, including ’Skins wide receiver Pierre Garçon, who founded Spinfire Pizza, and Nationals first baseman Ryan Zimmerman, who just announced he’s investing in The Salt Line opening near the ballpark this spring. Though years out from retirement, Zimmerman knows it’s tough for athletes to go from having something to do every day for eight or nine months out of the year to having nothing to do. “The hardest thing athletes have to do is find something they’re passionate about,” Zimmerman says. He’s always been into food and drink so he calls joining The Salt Line team “just a first step, a way to see if I really like it.” Zimmerman, Garçon, Halpern, and Gejdenson are just four current or former athletes with local ties that have found their way into the restaurant industry. They’re joined by the The Dabney’s co-owner and general manager Alex Zink, who won a couple of national championships playing lacrosse at Syracuse University; Former ’Skins quarterback Joe Theismann, whose season-ending leg injury can’t be watched while eating; and former NFL cornerback Eddie Jackson, who finished his career practicing with the Washington team after playing for three other NFL teams. Some of them are elbow deep in ragu or work the floor as general manager, while others enjoy more cursory involvement by simply lending their name to a restaurant. But they share a common philosophy. While the hospitality industry is high risk and hard work, there are similarities between sports and restaurants that uniquely position former athletes to excel. “Restaurants are for a particular breed of people,” Gejdenson says. “For a life of certainty, which is what I think a lot of people look for after a career in professional sports, I imagine it isn’t the best transition.” Yet, “the people who would do best at this job would come from pro sports where they led a team and trusted their teammates.” Gejdenson, who still plays soccer in three amateur leagues, allows his sports sensibilities to inform how he runs his restaurant group. For example, he treats Ari’s Diner as a training camp for his other restaurants. “Part of the purpose of this one is to give a first step into the service industry so we can then promote them from within,” he explains. He wants his cooks to learn to fry an egg before tackling the art of al dente pasta. Like Gejdenson, Zink is attracted to the team and goal-oriented facets of the business. “I love the tangible aspect,” says Zink, who attended culinary school after graduating. “It’s similar to the field. There’s a daily goal to get better, execute, and come in with a game plan.” He could never see him-

self crunching numbers at a computer. “The immediate gratification is amazing. If I can play in front of 40,000 people on ESPN, I can serve 150 people a night.” Then there’s Jackson, who goes by “Fit Chef Eddie” because of his commitment to post-career wellness. He has a Caribbean food truck where he’s based in Houston and has appeared on several Food Network shows. He won Next Food Network Star and is the host of BBQ Blitz and Kids BBQ Championship. He went into food because he believes it goes hand-in-hand with sports. “I’m willing to bet 99 to 100 percent of athletes—their key to success is food and taking care of their bodies,” he says. “Most were raised by their mothers and fathers around food. I would recommend doing something with food whether it’s the restaurant industry or a food truck. It’s a reliable industry for former pro athletes.” While Theismann says sports teach the kind of discipline and respect required to succeed in restaurants, “reliable” isn’t a word he would use to describe the industry. Captain Bubbly first dipped his toe in the business with Theismann’s Restaurant and Bar in Alexandria. When it opened in 1975, he was still a third string quarterback. Impressively, that restaurant is still kicking, but a handful of others folded. “A lot of guys furthered their education through MBAs,” Theismann says. “If I had gotten an MBA, it would have been cheaper than the number of restaurants I sold and suffered through.” It didn’t help that Theismann had a fun but money-draining deal in place back when he was still playing. “If there were no sacks in a game, I would bring the offensive line down for dinner,” he says. That’s about eight 300-pound guys ordering carte blanche. “It got very scary because they don’t just order one steak.” He ultimately changed his policy to cover only the first meal. “After that, you’re paying because I need to be in business.” Theismann is constantly approached by athletes interested in opening a restaurant. “I say no, you don’t understand the amount of time it takes on a daily basis. Even if you just have your name on it, it’s so critical who you surround yourself with.” At this point, Theismann’s partner Vernon H. Grandgeorge drives operations, but Theismann says he’s in the restaurant every couple of weeks. “If you put your name on it, people expect to see you,” he says. “But there are only so many autographs you can sign. Then you have to rely on the quality and the price of the food.” CP Eatery tips? Food pursuits? Send suggestions to lhayes@washingtoncitypaper.com

DCFEED Grazer

what we ate this week: The gogo with spicy tuna, avocado, coconut flakes, coconut crema, and more, $11.75, Buredo. Satisfaction level: 5 out of 5. what we’ll eat next week: Fried goat with hot pepper sauce, tomato, and onion, $10, Appioo. Excitement level: 4 out of 5.

Beltway Barbecue Battle

Dish

Federalist Pig

pork tastes like beef jerky doused in uncut vinegar. Finally, there’s Myron Mixon’s Pitmaster Barbeque in Old Town Alexandria (220 N Lee St.). The setting is Applebee’sesque. And don’t get your hopes up just because the “winningest man in BBQ” attached his name to the restaurant. The ribs are gristly, and everything is too sweet. Still, each has some strengths. Use this chart to guide yourself to the restaurant that serves your favorite barbecue dish the best. —Laura Hayes

DCity Smokehouse

Not applicable

Mac and Cheese

Brussels Sprouts

The Sandwich: Torta “El Sol”

Where: Mezcalero Cocina Mexicana, 3714 14th St. NW.

Pros: If you can’t decide what kind of

✯ ✯

✯

’WichingHour

Thickness: 2 inches

Taste: Drier than most sparkling whites and offered at half the cost, Charred Ordinary is a blended cider steeped in history. The cider’s fruity flavors are offset by a dryness typically reserved for champagne. The drink is as sharp as the people of D.C. and as regal as Michelle Obama.

✯

Bread

Stuffings: Hot dogs, sliced ham, crispy breaded chicken, avocado, Oaxaca cheese, queso amarillo, chipotle sauce, black beans, jalapenos, tomato, mayo

Price: $10.25–$15.50 per bottle

✯

Ribs

Bread: White sandwich bread, made in house

Hometown: Heidelberg, Germany/Ft. Monroe, Virginia

✯

Dry-rubbed Wings

Price: $9

Maker: Courtney Mailey

✯

Pulled Pork

Collard Greens

Cider: Blue Bee Cider’s Charred Ordinary

Myron Mixon’s

✯

Brisket

Stein’s Stein

Not applicable

sandwich you want (Mezcalero offers nine varieties), go all in on this one, which sounds heavy but isn’t. The torta hits so many flavors and textures thanks to earthy beans, creamy avocado, salty and chewy hot dog slices, and crispy chicken. The airy bread is another plus because it yields a pleasant crunch when you dig in. Cons: Nearly every flavor imaginable competes for attention in this sandwich, and every bite isn’t ideally bal-

Courtesy of Courtney Mailey

Three new barbecue restaurants have opened since December, so naturally the meat eaters among us want to know which are worth a visit. First came Federalist Pig (1654 Columbia Road NW) from Pitmaster Rob Sonderman, formerly of DCity Smokehouse. The laidback Adams Morgan hang could run a clinic on coaxing out smoky flavor. Not so much at the new DCity Smokehouse that debuted next (at 203 Florida Ave. NW). Though the space is handsome, service is chaotic, something’s up with the beer, and the pulled

What’s in

anced. The hot dog and stringy Oaxaca cheese overwhelm all other ingredients. A more acidic and spicy sauce would balance out the salt bombs. Sloppiness level (1 to 5): 2. Chef Alfredo Solis knows how to construct a sandwich. Despite being overstuffed with fillings, the torta stays together very well. But long pulls of melted cheese will leave you tethered to your lunch. Overall score (1 to 5): 3. This torta finally answers the age-old question: Is a hot dog a sandwich? In this case, it is—and it overpowers the rest of the ingredients. A brighter sauce would make it taste better, but it deserves full marks as a feat of engineering. —Caroline Jones

Story: The dominant apple in Charred Ordinary is the Winesap, which can be used for cidering, cooking, eating, and making apple cider vinegar. Maker Courtney Mailey says the apple’s versatility is why it survived prohibition while most other cider apples did not. Artisanal cider makers like Mailey use cider apples that produce very different products than most large cideries. “It’s kind of like the difference between wine coolers versus wine,” she says. As a woman producing cider in Virginia, Mailey is in good company. But this isn’t always the case. “Cider as a whole industry is roughly 85 percent male and 15 percent female,” she says. “In Virginia it’s more like 50-50, so it’s a very different environment. ...I never worry about finding a voice at the table,” she says. The gender equity in this area goes way back. Records from the 1700s show that women of various economic classes made cider in the Chesapeake region. Where to Try It: Glen’s Garden Market, 2001 S St. NW; (202) 588 5698; glensgardenmarket.com —Michael Stein

washingtoncitypaper.com february 10, 2017 19

20 february 10, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

CPArts

See the complete list of 2017 Helen Hayes Awards nominees. washingtoncitypaper.com/arts.

Hustle and Grow

For years, Ardamus has been one of the most prolific rappers in the D.C. area. He’s still trying to make sense of it all. By Justin Weber On ArdAmus’s new EP, Thx4UrHONESTY.[liar], you can hear a clip of Levar Jones, a black man shot by a South Carolina state trooper at a gas station in 2014 while reaching for his driver’s license, asking “Why did you shoot me?” “I’ve never really done a song about police brutality like that,” Ardamus says. “I was outspoken about it before in conversations, but didn’t really put it into music.” Like many Americans, Ardamus—whose real name is Artemis Thompson—feels the need to speak louder and more clearly in the wake of a steady stream of bad news. The final track on the new record, “God Save Us From These People,” offers a prayer in response to the election: “Now pull yourself by your bootstraps and just hang until the noose snaps,” he raps before repeating “God save us from these people.” “I’m sitting in DC9 making this beat for [what ended up being “God Save Us From These People”] while [Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump] debate and I’m just horrified watching them go back and forth,” recalls Thompson. “I was thinking in terms of how people do not care. These people in power just won’t care about poor people or people who struggling or people who trying. They don’t care about them, but they care about themselves.” But Thompson says that just because Thx4UrHONESTY. [liar] is overt, doesn’t mean the more seemingly mundane topics on his previous albums aren’t politically relevant. “Just me walking down the street is political,” he says. Ardamus’ roots are still firm and Thx4UrHONESTY.[liar] doesn’t lose any of Thompson’s charm or signature nerdiness. “Another Earth,” which features collaborators Nevasleep and Prowess, uses free samples of rocket launches from NASA’s website and, yes, it was inspired by Mike Cahill’s 2011 film Another Earth. While Ardamus is raising his voice, this is still the man who uses clips from Rick and Morty as a backdrop during live shows. What’s changed is that Thompson has started to care less about what other people think about his messages. “I feel like if my music pissed you off then I did something right, I guess,” he says. This hasn’t always been the case. “Sometimes those people who get the most known are people who kinda step all over others,” says Ceschi Ramos, cofounder of Fake Four Records, which released Thx4UrHONESTY.[liar], “Unfortunately, Ardamus is not as well know, possibly because he’s such a nice guy.” Now Thompson is starting to think more about his own career. “Sometimes you gotta look at it as,” Ramos says. “‘Am I do-

Darrow Montgomery

MUsic

ing anything to make myself successful? Or am I just helping other people to be successful?’” Artemis thOmpsOn is a humble man, but Ardamus is relentless. “He’s one of the hardest working artists I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with,” says Renell Thompson (whose stage name is RNL), a member of The Drop Lockers along with Ardamus, “He has given constantly to this scene and D.C.” Artemis Thompson, 37, moved to D.C. in 1997 to attend Howard University. He put out his first project with the help of a grant from the D.C. Commission of Arts and Humanities in 1999. Since 2006, he has released 28 albums, EPs, and singles, either solo or with one of the many groups and projects he contributes to. In 2016 alone, he released Vol. 1: Beatbreaking with The Drop Lockers; the fourth and final part of his I Can’t Replace Me series; After I Replace You; and Thx4UrHONESTY.[liar]. “I look up to people like E40. I like the fact that they just keep going,” Thompson says, “That might be my dream, to

have a catalogue like that.” Kyle Murdock, Director of Media Learning at Howard University and the sound engineer for many of Thompson’s records, has trouble remembering sessions when Thompson wasn’t working on multiple projects. “Artemis would be like, ‘Let me play you a clip of this project I’m working on. Oh yeah! I’m also working on this. And did I tell you I’m also working on this, too?’” Murdock says, “I used to joke, ‘You’re trying to record on, like, Tupac’s level!’” But for Thompson, prolificity is essential. To him, it speaks volumes about an artist. “It shows that they care about their craft, they give a damn, they want to contribute something,” he says. Thompson just can’t help it. It’s in his nature to meet new people and expand his tastes. Jerry Busher, A longtime D.C. musician that has played in French Toast and Fugazi, among many other groups, remembers one of the first times he met Thompson. It was a Wilco tribute show where his band covered “Heavy Metwashingtoncitypaper.com february 10, 2017 21

CPArts with myself,” Thompson says, “Sometimes people aren’t really honest with themselves or about the truth they want to relay that’s inside of them.” FOr ArdAmus, the foundation that holds all of his music together—the rap, the experimental and futuristic sounds, the jazz and samba— is still his razor sharp lyrics and flow. “I think he’s one of the greatest freestylers in this community,” says Tia Abner, who performs under the name Prowess. “I’ve seen people call him up on stage and he makes magic happen with very little context and no preparation.” Thompson practiced his freestyle in the early 2000s at a weekly event called Tru Skool hosted at the old Capitol City Records store on U Street. MCs would battle and play improvisation games like freestyling about words displayed on cue cards at random. “Every Friday night, he was there to sharpen his skills,” says DJ Earth 1ne, another member of Tru Skool. “If you give him a chance to just go, he’s amazing.” It was also at Tru Skool he built his reputation for being humble, generous, and outgoing. “I see him in MC battles and I see him give his all and at the end of the battle, if he doesn’t win, he takes it graciously,” DJ Earth 1ne says. “I think he’s motivated by other people,” Abner adds. In 2005, Thompson was applying for the Red Bull Music Academy—an event where the brand flies out 60 people for

BL

al Drummer” and Thompson joined them on stage to freestyle over the track. “I went backstage at one point and Artemis was like hanging out with these bluegrass musicians talking about, ‘Hey yeah we should get together and collaborate,’” Busher recalls. The motivation to constantly be making music and try new things has led him in interesting directions. Thompson’s catalogue is varied, but not haphazardly. His own solo work is rooted in boom bap and conscious rap. The Drop Lockers, his trio with Edword Asis and RNL, features more futuristic and electronic sound experimentation. His big band, The Lucky So and Sos, explores jazz and samba. His curiosity extends to every aspect of his craft. In 2012, he participated in an NIH project called Freestyle Science along with artists like Open Mike Eagle and Kane Mayfield that examined the brain activity of MCs while they freestyled. “I’m very big on mental health, particularly for the black community,” Thompson says, “Growing up we didn’t really touch on it in our household or just like how beneficial it is for us to have.” And Thompson’s music often revolves around this theme. His I Can’t Replace Me series follows the building of a man from the realization he needs to grow up through the hard work he puts in to make himself better. Thx4UrHONESTY. [liar] contains similar self-reflection. “I went through a lot of transitions and not being honest

two weeks to do an intense music creation workshop—and encouraged Murdock to apply as well at the last minute. Murdock made it in. Thompson didn’t. “Artemis was never salty about it. If anything, he was super supportive, always the first to be like, ‘Congratulations,’” Murdock says. “He’s a badass and he’s humble. He has every reason to be full of himself and he’s not,” Busher says. “I don’t know that he even knows that people feel that way about him.” While those around him appreciate it, being humble seems to wear on Thompson at times. “I was showing up and doing my thing at open mics, but promoters kept sliding me to the side, giving favor to some other folks, putting them on bills,” he recalls. “I almost gave up off of that because it felt discouraging. It kinda felt like people were playing two sides of the game with me.” You can hear Thompson’s frustration starting to come out in his music: “Okay, I’m happy for you/ No, wait, I’m not happy for me,” he raps on “Other People’s Success.” While he says he would love to tour and make a living off his music, Thompson still mostly holds back when talking about the future. “I don’t even know if I have a dream,” he says, “I’m just doing this until the wheels fall off.” CP Listen to Thx4UrHONESTY.[liar] at washingtoncitypaper. com/arts.

An ode to the complications of friendship in its many fucked-up forms.

Voting ends March 5 NOW EXTENDED

THE HARD PROBLEM

BY TOM STOPPARD DIRECTED BY MATT TORNEY

“STOPPARD AT HIS MOST PROVOCATIVE ... SUBLIMELY MIND-BLOWING.” — DC METRO THEATER ARTS

N O W P L AYI N G

washingtoncitypaper.com

I WA N N A FUCKING TEAR YOU A PA R T

Best of 2017 out April 6

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY MORGAN GOULD

STUDIOTHEATRE.ORG | 202.332.3300 22 february 10, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Reserve now! Call the advertising department to book your Best of D.C. ad today: 202-332-2100

CPArts Arts Desk

Flyer By Night

Listen to the debut EP from Afrovelvet + Nate G. (ski). washingtoncitypaper.com/arts.

One Track Mind

A monthly feature that highlights the art of gig posters and flyers.

Show: Palberta, Puff Pieces, Bless at Slash Rub. 201 Upshur St. NW. Feb. 25. $5. Artist: Brett Isaacoff

Show: Ilsa, Outer Heaven, Bestial Evil, Triac, Brainpan at The Pinch. 3548 14th St. NW. Feb. 24. $10. Artist: Joshy Brettell and Hasan A

Furniteur, “Brat”

Standout Track: “Brat”—the second single preceding the release of Furniteur’s upcoming debut LP, Perfect Lavender—finds D.C.’s mysterious electropop outfit nurturing their more dance floor-friendly sound. Clocking in just above five minutes, “Brat” relies heavily on a thumping rhythm set by arpeggiated synth bass and shifting, booming drums—the latter expertly played by Jonny Jester. Atop this infectious groove, sawtooth synths shoot across like aural chemtrails, while Brittany Sims’ disaffected vocals sit somewhere between Debbie Harry and “Bad and Boujee.” Musical Motivation: Empowerment through fiction. “It’s really about playing into the role of someone who truly gives no fucks,” Sims says. “A brat, to me, is someone who always gets her way… so I think that’s partly what the song is about.” She takes the narrative a step further, comparing her transformation to the “Brat” character to another classic American story of creating your own narrative. “This is such a cheesy example, but I see it sort of like the bad-ass Sandy from the end of Grease.” Like the new Sandy Olsson, with her cigarette, high heels, and faux-apathetic demeanor, Sims is empowered by the distance between her fiction and reality. “I’m really uncomfortable performing and doing all that, so it’s sort of like playing an act,” Sims confesses.

Show: Pissed Jeans and Hand Grenade Job at Black Cat. 1811 14th St. NW. Feb. 23. $15. Artist: Sarah O’Donoghue Show: Cro-Mags, Protester, Line of Sight, D.C. Disorder at The Pinch. 3548 14th St. NW. Feb. 12. $20 Artist: Ambrose Nzams

Dynamic Disco: While Furniteur’s sound skews more toward their woozy, downtempo dream pop (as heard on another Perfect Lavender single, “Redundant Buzz”), “Brat” allowed the band to explore sounds that Sims describes as disco. “We definitely were inspired by ’70s-styles—like Donna Summer or like Blondie,” she says “…and we wanted to add that kind of tougher bitchiness from disco or from punk.” —Peter Lillis Listen to “Brat” at washingtoncitypaper. com/arts. washingtoncitypaper.com february 10, 2017 23

Film

Short and Sweet

La Femme et la TGV

Year after year, the Oscar-nominated short films contain some of the best cinema of the year. 2017 is no exception. Oscar Nominated Short Films 2017: Live Action Oscar Nominated Short Films 2017: Animated By Noah Gittell Are movies longer than they used to be? They sure feel like it. Superhero movies routinely run over two hours these days due to a dependence on extended action sequences and multiple villains. Oscar-nominated movies are among the worst offenders. This year, the average length of a Best Picture nominee is 124 minutes, only a slight improvement from last year’s 131 minutes. Either way, the challenge of watching all of them before Oscar night has become a journey almost as exhausting and painful as what Leonardo DiCaprio went through for The Revenant. So thank God for the Oscar-nominated shorts. They come and go quickly and leave little pain in their wake. Unfortunately, most people don’t care enough to find out. That’s why the producers of the Oscars ceremony typically pick hot, young comedy stars to present the short film awards: It’s the only way to keep viewers in their seats. Here’s another way to care about them: Go see them. Find one you like, and root for it like hell. The animated shorts, however, are having a bit of an off-year, with only two clear standouts in the bunch. The first is Borrowed Time, a six-minute western that cuts between two narratives: an elderly sheriff considering suicide while standing on the edge of a great canyon and a wagon chase in which his childhood self was pursued by bandits years earlier. Directors Andrew Coats and Lou Hamou-Lhadj utilize symbolism, montage, and swift, concise characterization to craft a deeply satisfying story told in the span of a feature film’s opening titles. Like Borrowed Time, short films work best when they let their imagery do the storytelling, but two of this year’s nominees—Blind Vaysha and Pear Cider and Cigarettes—are

brought down by exposition. The former is a lovely, thoughtful fable about a young girl born with a unique curse. Her left eye sees the past and her right eye the future. At times, the filmmakers ingeniously explore the concept, particularly in a proposal sequence, when she can only see the naïve child her suitor once was and the smelly old man he becomes. Despite featuring gorgeous, hand-drawn animation conveying the bizarre world this girl finds herself in, Blind Vaysha relies too heavily on voice-over narration, and its attempts at lesson-learning in the final scene are too didactic to be effective. Pear Cider and Cigarettes is the longest of the bunch, clocking in at 34 minutes, and by far the most adult-themed (it runs last, in case you want to take the kiddies home first). Its story of a hard-living young man named Techno and the friend who repeatedly tries to save his life features animated nudity, drinking, and violence. The gruff voice-over that accompanies its neo-noir animation is an attempt to imbue a feeling of importance into this otherwise drab story, but it’s not enough. Take out the shock value, and Pear Cider and Cigarettes is riddled with alpha-male cliches. In fact, you might want to skip out before this one whether you have kids or not. That way, you can let Pearl and Piper, two sap-happy tales of parenthood, linger in your mind. Pearl is an extended music video for an original song written by indie artists Nicki Bluhm and Kelley Stoltz. It starts out with a hippie guy singing the song in his car while his young daughter plays in the backseat. As the song plays, the film documents her entire childhood, through fights and reconciliations, boyfriends, and run-ins with the police. At first, its crude computer animation might be off-putting, but for those of us who grew up with Nintendo and other 8-bit video game systems, it is like a warm rush of nostalgia, underlining the poignancy of this coming-of-age-story. Piper, on the other hand, contains some of the finest animation you’ll ever see. Another perfect Pixar creation, it’s the story of an

24 february 10, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

infant seagull who overcomes dangers like hermit crabs and soft, lapping ocean waves in learning how to feed himself. It’s painfully cute and unabashedly sentimental, but for anyone who has ever had a parent or a child (you know, pretty much everyone), it’s sure to hit home. The live-AcTion shorTs are, on the whole, a stronger bunch. The only problem is that they are bleak as hell. Unlike the animated films, there is no wistful escape here from our awful realities. Instead, they force us to grapple with contemporary issues through painstakingly personal drama. It’s an effective technique, but, with the full slate coming in at an exhausting two and a half hours, not an entirely welcome one. Two films deal explicitly with the immigrant experience. Denmark’s Silent Night is a romantic drama about a kind, beautiful soup kitchen volunteer who falls in love with a homeless African immigrant. Between the realities of life on the streets and the intrusions of the woman’s racist, drunken mother, these two never get much of a honeymoon period. But the stars-in-their-eyes moments that do occur mean much more because of the pain that lies on either side. Silent Night is occasionally too mawkish, and the characters are probably a bit too sympathetic, but there are worse crimes in a hard world. Ennemis Interieurs hits our current political moment right on the nose, and as such, is a serious contender for the big prize. It starts out as a simple dialogue between a government agent and a middle-aged Algerian man applying for French citizenship. The Algerian thinks it is a formality, as he is initially asked to name two rivers in France and recite the country’s motto. Quickly, it morphs into an inquisition into the brief time that he attended meetings at a certain mosque. He’s asked to name names. Director Selim Aazzazi expertly builds the tension, creating a feeling of claustrophobia, while his two actors construct a thrilling mental chess game. There

are echoes of McCarthyism and, of course, Trump’s Muslim ban in this tense and provocative short. Here’s something a little more pleasant: Timecode, which won an award at Cannes last year and is therefore the likely winner here, and La Femme et la TGV. Both concern romances in which the parties court without ever meeting, a la The Shop Around the Corner or The Lunchbox. In Timecode, two parking garage security guards perform interpretive dances for each other on the security cameras, each leaving a post-it note telling the other where to find their performance in the previous night’s log. La Femme et la TGV features a widow who takes great pleasure in waving her Swiss flag at the commuter train that passes her window every day and begins receiving notes and gifts that are hurled into her yard by the train’s conductor as it passes. Both films are delightful, a little bit lightweight, and altogether enjoyable. Finally, there is Sing, whose stakes are far lower than any other in this slate but, for those who remember their childhood, will be just as emotionally-involving. This Hungarian film concerns a young girl who is excited to join the choir in her new school, but is mortified when the director pulls her aside after the first rehearsal and asks her not to sing, but only to mouth the words to the song. Turns out the teacher won’t let anything stop her from winning the upcoming national championship. As the girl and her friend begin to investigate, they learn that she’s not the only one who has been asked to zip it, and the kids organize a devilishly clever revenge on their unfeeling teacher. A revolution of the masses against a strict authoritarian leader? That’s the kind of catharsis we need right now. The heroes and the setting of Sing may be small, but as these short films demonstrate, size isn’t the only thing that matters. CP The Oscar-nominated live-action and animated shorts open Friday at E Street Cinema.

TheaTerCurtain Calls

Storm Front

Scott Suchman

a checking account and a bathroom. Their characters, Carol and Gabe, are committed to their faith and their marriage. They have a grade-school-aged child, Kayden, and Carol is pregnant with another. Cynthia (Caroline Dubberly, vulnerable and persuasive), Baby Screams Miracle the daughter they had too young and put up for adoption, has temporarily rejoined them By Clare Barron and is now great with child herself. BarbaDirected by Howard Shalwitz ra, Carol’s mother (Woolly company memAt Woolly Mammoth ber Sarah Marshall), lives with them, too. Theatre Company to Feb. 26 Mia and Caroline Rilette—the fourth-gradThe family ThaT prays together stays to- er daughters of Round House Theatre argether, Father Patrick Peyton once said, or was tistic director Ryan Rilette—are alternating said to have said. And the family that prays to- nightly in the role of Kayden. I saw Mia pergether while huddled in a bathtub for shel- form, and she was persuasive in a way that ter from the Biblical storm that’s dismantling kid actors rarely are, like she’d internalized the downbeat mood. their house? In Barron’s blurry telling, there’s no longThe Mysteries of Faith is the theme of Clare Barron’s spooky and insoluble Baby Screams buried secret to be excavated by a weekend of Miracle, making its regional premiere at Wool- fraying nerves; just a persuasive portrait of a ly Mammoth Theatre Company in a produc- loving family under pressure—one inclined to tion featuring three of Woolly’s standout play- interpret acts of god as, well, Acts of God. It’s ers. It’s meditative and plotless, following a a tribute to Barron’s writing that she can take tri-generational family of five as they try to a scenario as sitcom-trite as one partner’s inkeep calm through a violent, days-long storm ability to comply with the other’s request for some dirty talk and steer Baby Screams Miracle it someplace moving and unexpected. Or maybe the credit belongs to Norris and Nickell, who somehow convey both that they love one another and that they’re a little surprised they’ve managed to stay together. Shalwitz spent a couple of years puzzling over how to stage Barron’s tempest before landing on the solution of combining impressionistic video projections with a series of dollhousescale models to depict that has knocked out electricity to their home the house in its various stages of ruin. (James Kronzer designed the set; the videos are by Jarin rural Washington state. Nowhere on Washington (D.C.) stages is the ed Mezzocchi.) Norris and Nickell even fuss world ending more frequently than at Wool- with the intact model of their own home in an ly, and nowhere are the ensembles playing out opening that finds them praying together beour final hours stronger. This is by my account- fore bed. I thought of the eerie moment in Stanley Kuing at least the fourth show wherein real-life spouses Kate Eastwood Norris and Cody Nick- brick’s The Shining when Jack Nicholson gazell have been cast as a couple; they’re magnet- es down at the miniature replica of the hedge ic individually, but better together. They ap- maze outside his window and sees his wife and peared to have a great time antagonizing one child hiding within it. But the film with which another as Kate and Petruchio in director Aar- Baby Screams Miracle shares a deeper kinship on Posner’s Deadwood-inspired 2012 Taming of is Jeff Nichols’ 2011 psychological thriller Take the Shrew at the Folger. But their work here is Shelter, about a man haunted by premonitions in the minor key of their performances in play- of an apocalyptic storm and his family’s atwright Posner’s Chekhov remix Stupid Fucking tempt to pull him back from the brink of madBird at Woolly a year later and in Studio The- ness. I don’t know what that film means, but I atre’s Animal two years after that. (Bird, like know it casts a potent spell. The same goes for —Chris Klimek Baby, was directed by Woolly artistic director Baby Screams Miracle. Howard Shalwitz.) This is not the euphoria of sexual long- 641 D St. NW. $20–$79. (202) 393-3939. ing and romance; it’s the reality of sharing Woollymammoth.net. washingtoncitypaper.com february 10, 2017 25

FilmShort SubjectS The LEGO Batman Movie

BlockBuster The LEGO Batman Movie Directed by Chris McKay

“Black. all important movies start with a black screen,” intones the titular character of The LEGO Batman Movie. “And logos—really long and dramatic logos.” And so continues our narcissistic hero, mansplaining every crucial component to a great film’s intro and sounding self-important, even when he pronounces his studio’s name “Warner Bras.” With that, The LEGO Batman Movie already feels like a promising spinoff of 2014’s surprisingly entertaining The LEGO Movie, even though not one of the filmmakers involved in the original had a hand in creating its follow-up. This crew—the helmer and five (!) scripters—isn’t even well-versed in the film world, but earned their chops working in television: Director Chris McKay is best known for Adult Swim’s Robot Chicken while the writers bear credits such as Crank Yankers, Community, and American Dad. Collectively, however, they’ve captured the wit, silliness, and parodic spirit of The LEGO Movie note-perfectly. The LEGO Batman Movie sets up its storyline early: Batman/Bruce Wayne (Will Arnett, returning and just as terrific as in the first go’round) is lonely. When the Joker (Zach Galifianakis) mentions to his nemesis early on that he’s his greatest villain, Batman bristles like a typical commitment-phobe: “Batman doesn’t do ’ships,” he says. “I like to fight around.” Yet after he saves Gotham City once again (and a cheering fan mentions how great it must be to be Batman), Bruce returns to his literal island, heats up a dinner-for-one, and watches TV alone in the cavernous Wayne Manor. After losing his parents—Bruce is famously an orphan, of course—he’s afraid of letting anyone in. But during a lovestruck moment (one not unsimilar to what Emmet Brickowski experienced in the original LEGO Movie), Bruce unthinkingly agrees to adopt a puppyish orphan 26 february 10, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

(Michael Cera) who follows him around. The love interest is Barbara Gordon (Rosario Dawson), who’s taking over as police commissioner after her dad (Hector Elizondo) retires. And though everyone at the orphanage calls the boy “Dick,” (“Well, kids can be cruel,” Bruce remarks), he’s renamed Robin—and we all know what happens there. Though the Joker is, in fact, the main villain here, he’s brought along pretty much everyone in the DC universe to help him destroy Gotham, from Superman to Harley Quinn to Godzilla. Warner Bros. fantastically allows itself to be mocked, with not only knocks on its superhero flicks (Suicide Squad is a slow-moving target, as is Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; there’s even a quick reference to Zack Snyder) but also romantic properties such as Must Love Dogs. And if you’re not familiar with the history of Batman, you may not catch the flurry of homage to former Batmen down to pre-Adam West days, along with their attendant styles or, in West’s case, goofiness. The re-created look of Christopher Nolan’s trilogy is particularly brilliant. As with The LEGO Movie, the jokes come too rapidly here to catch them all—at least in the first half. Batman has more flat moments than its predecessor, but when it hits, it’s hilarious: Batman’s dark-soul personality is consistent throughout (when Robin and the Joker exchange a “Namaste” greeting, Batman responds, “Gross”), and a protracted, nearly silent scene involving Bruce and his microwave may leave you laughing until you tear up. Yet the requisite heart of an animated film is still there. The themes of family, togetherness, teamwork, and even gender parity (“If you call me ‘Batgirl,’ can I call you ‘Batboy?’”) are highlighted, and the movie has an odd fixation with Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror.” Though he does melt a little, Batman’s self-aggrandizing nature remains charmingly intact and may remind viewers of this not-so-great characteristic IRL, with the disillusioned wishing that a pro-superhero sign in the film could come true: “Batman for President.” —Tricia Olszewski The LEGO Batman Movie opens Friday in theaters everywhere.

MusicDiscography

Dance Dance constitution Heirs To Nothing

Coup Sauvage and The Snips Sister Polygon Records It’s a weIrd time to be in D.C. The usual winter gloom has been paired with an unusual pall as Donald Trump blusters his way through the first few weeks of his still surreal presidency. The city has already hosted a record-breaking Women’s March and an impromptu protest against Trump’s Muslim ban; more marches and protests are sure to follow. But what is a protest movement without protest music? Enter Coup Sauvage and The Snips and their debut album, Heirs of Nothing. A DMV-born sixpiece that mixes, in their words, “’60s soul, ’70s European variety shows, ’80s Solid Gold dancers, and ’90s warehouse parties,” Coup Sauvage are the disco-punks that D.C. deserves. The band—which teams a beatsmith, keyboardist, bassist, and three vocalists— formed in 2011 and have been playing the D.C. area for years. Almost exactly two years ago, they released Psalms from Ward 9, a four-track EP that delivered political messages over disco- and house-inspired dance tracks. They beat Solange to the punch with “(Don’t Touch My) Hair” and paid tribute to black, brown, queer, and trans people who are no longer with us. “We dance when we wanna celebrate,” sang Kristina Sauvage. “We dance when we need to mourn.” That spirit of dancing the pain away continues on Heirs to Nothing, an album that finds the band expanding their sound, connecting the dots from Donna Summer and Chic to the B-52s, Scissor Sisters, and beyond—and finding new life in the throwback sounds of various dance scenes. Opener “Hamburg” has a familiar four-on-

the-floor beat, but it’s a cabaret song with clattering percussion, girl group harmonies, and a melancholy piano melody. The band adds proto-rap to statement-of-purpose “Party Rap,” a music box melody to “Disco Friends,” alt-rock guitar on “Whim Whams” and “Freak of the Week,” synthpunk on “Laurel Shuffle,” and so on. Not all of the juxtapositions work (“Driftin’ & Griftin’” fails to gel) and some of the call-and-response instructions will surely work better live than on record, but the album’s dance party never stops. Throughout it all, Coup Sauvage flash a bold and brash attitude, whether they’re kissing off haters, duplicators, hustlers, and lovers; searching for friends when the club lights come back on; or just taking care of themselves. There’s also a very DMV thread to the album. “Laurel Shuffle” is a catchy tribute to Prince George’s County, and on “Party Rap,” they fire a muchneeded shot across the bow of a D.C. music scene that’s often obsessed with past punk glories: “We don’t mean to brag, we don’t mean to be bold, but put that indie rock privilege shit on hold, you can have your scenes and your labels, don’t need your cred, ’cause we got our own.” A band comprised of people of color, white allies, and queer folks, it’s not hard to see the political edge in these songs, and sometimes the politics are more explicit, like on closer “Heir to Nothing.” The song begins with an organ-accompanied “Church of Sauvage” sermon about how gentrification has changed D.C. with food trucks, yoga studios, condos, exposed brick, reclaimed wood, small plates, and (as Kristina belts out) “artisanal farm-totable locavore cuisine.” Their problem isn’t change, but change that leaves Old D.C. in the dust, and Coup Sauvage—the self-described “heirs to nothing”— are here to remind New D.C. that “your small plates will not protect you.” After three minutes, the sermon gives way to a full-blown disco-funk groove, complete with a soul clap, and ends the album on an ecstatic note: The band is best when turning political protest anthems into dance parties. One can imagine how “Heir to Nothing” will sound live, its sermon adapted for whatever fresh hell D.C., the country, and Coup Sauvage are facing at the moment. As they said on Twitter at the end of 2016: “2017 may end in a mushroom cloud, children, but it will begin with a bang of a different kind.” —Chris Kelly Listen to Heirs to Nothing at washingtoncitypaper.com/arts.

Snarky Puppy February 22 at 8 p.m. | Concert Hall Jules Buckley, conductor Snarky Puppy and the NSO Pops invite you to the exciting live U.S. premiere of Snarky Puppy’s concept album Sylva, which won a Grammy Award®. This funky, Impressionist work is dedicated to the mysteries of the forest—taking you from the tree-covered slopes of the Sintra mountains in Portugal and giant tall trees of North Carolina… to the somber woods of Virginia and teeming swamps of Louisiana.

David and Alice Rubenstein are the Presenting Underwriters of the NSO.

AARP is the Presenting Sponsor of the 2016-2017 NSO Pops Season.

washingtoncitypaper.com february 10, 2017 27

I.M.P. PRESENTS Merriweather Post Pavilion • Columbia, MD

JUST ANNOUNCED!

Kings of Leon • Weezer • Jimmy Eat World • Fitz and the Tantrums • Catfish and the Bottlemen .......... MAY 14

Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds .........................JUNE 18

THIS WEEK’S SHOWS ALL GOOD PRESENTS

BoomBox w/ ELM - Electric Love Machine..................................................... F 10 Parquet Courts w/ Mary Lattimore .............................................................. M 13

JOHN LEGEND w/ Gallant .....................................................................JUNE 20 On Sale Friday, February 10 at 10am HEY COUNTRY FANS! - COMING THIS SUMMER:

FEBRUARY

DIERKS BENTLEY LADY ANTEBELLUM LUKE BRYAN WPOC SUNDAY IN THE COUNTRY

U STREET MUSIC HALL PRESENTS

Cashmere Cat ............................................................................................... F 17

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Tribal Seeds w/ Raging Fyah & Nattali Rize ............................................... Su 26

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Haywyre & The Opiuo Band..................................................................... Sa 4 Agnes Obel ...................................................................................................... Tu 7 Los Campesinos! w/ Crying & Infinity Crush ............................................... Th 9

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Rós .................................................................................................... MAY 25 The Chainsmokers w/ Kiiara • Emily Warren • Lost Frequencies ...... MAY 26 Steve Miller Band w/ Peter Frampton ............................JUNE 23                            •  For full lineups and more info, visit merriweathermusic.com • 930.com

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MCLAUGHLIN / JIMMY HERRING ...NOVEMBER 11 On Sale Friday, February 10 at 10am

THIS SATURDAY! STORY DISTRICT’S

Sucker for Love: A Valentine’s Day Special ....................................................FEBRUARY 11

THIS TUESDAY!

Tinder Live! with Lane Moore w/ Alexandra Petri & Heather Matarazzo ......FEB 14

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The Naked Magicians 18+ to enter. .......................................................FEBRUARY 24 TWO EVENINGS WITH

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50 Song Memoir............................... MARCH 18 (Songs 1-25) & MARCH 19 (Songs 26-50)

I.M.P. & STEEZ PROMO PRESENT

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Nikki Lane  w/ Brent Cobb & Jonathan Tyler ............. M 27 Mako .............................................Th MAR 2 Colony House w/ Deep Sea Diver ......... Sa 4 Mike Doughty w/ Wheatus ................... Tu 7

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Brian Wilson presents Pet Sounds : The Final Performances

with special guests Al Jardine and Blondie Chaplin....................................................... MAY 4

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• Buy advance tickets at the 9:30 Club box office

Tickets  for  9:30  Club  shows  are  available  through  TicketFly.com,  by  phone  at  1-877-4FLY-TIX,  and  at  the  9:30  Club  box  office.  9:30 CLUB BOX OFFICE HOURS are 12-7PM Weekdays & Until 11PM on show nights.  6-11PM on Sat & 6-10:30PM on Sun on show nights.

PARKING: THE  OFFICIAL  9:30  parking  lot  entrance  is  on  9th  Street,  directly  behind  the  9:30  club.  Buy  your  advance  parking  tickets  at  the  same  time  as  your  concert  tickets!

HAPPY HOUR DRINK PRICES

AFTER THE SHOW AT THE BACK BAR!

28 february 10, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

930.com

CITYLIST

INER

60S-INSPIRED D Serving

EVERYTHING from

BURGERS to BOOZY SHAKES

SPACE HOOPTY

A HIP HOP, FUNK & AFRO FUTURISTIC SET with Baronhawk Poitier

FRIDAY NIGHTS, 10:30 - CLOSE

BRING YOUR TICKET

AFTER ANY SHOW AT

Music 29 Theater 30

Music

TO GET A

FREE SCHAEFERS

DAY PARTY WITH DJ KEENAN ORR

First Sunday every month

2 - 6pm

rock

Bethesda Blues & Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Billy Price Band & The Nighthawks. 8 p.m. $35. bethesdabluesjazz.com. Fillmore silver spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Alter Bridge. 8 p.m. $27.50. fillmoresilverspring.com. gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Joe Marcinek Band. 8:30 p.m. $12–$14. gypsysallys.com. the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. The Dustbowl Revival. 8 p.m. $15–$20. thehamiltondc.com.

classical

Kennedy Center ConCert hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Joshua Bell. 8 p.m. $50–$125. | kennedy-center.org.

Folk

gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Katie Mills. 8 p.m. Free. Aledo. 10:30 p.m. Free. gypsysallys.com.

country

Barns at WolF trap 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. Eric Paslay. 8 p.m. $26–$38. wolftrap.org. Kennedy Center terraCe gallery 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Jazzmeia Horn. 7 p.m.; 9 p.m. $35. kennedy-center.org. tWins Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Eugenie Jones. 9 p.m.; 11 p.m. $27. twinsjazz.com.

ElEctronic

9:30 CluB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. BoomBox. 8 p.m. $20. 930.com. eChostage 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. Tchami. 9 p.m. $25–$30. echostage.com. soundCheCK 1420 K St. NW. (202) 789-5429. Sharam. 10 p.m. $15. soundcheckdc.com. u street musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889. Savoy. 10 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.

Funk & r&B

BirChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Eric Roberson. 7:30 p.m. $45. birchmere.com. Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. JOI. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$35. bluesalley.com. hoWard theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. The Whispers. 8 p.m.; 10:30 p.m. $60–$85. thehowardtheatre.com. roCK & roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625. Aztec Sun. 9 p.m. $12. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

saturday

2047 9th Street NW located next door to 9:30 club

Charlie Wilson at Verizon Center, Feb. 12

Friday

Jazz

Club

Film 33

rock

Fillmore silver spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. The Cadillac Three. 8 p.m. $18. fillmoresilverspring.com. the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Love Songs: The Beatles feat. Veronneau. 8 p.m. $25–$75. thehamiltondc.com.

Vocal Barns at WolF trap 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. Alyson Cambridge. 8 p.m. $25–$35. wolftrap.org.

classical Kennedy Center ConCert hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: An Evening with Joshua Bell. 8 p.m. $59–$125. kennedy-center.org. sixth & i historiC synagogue 600 I St. NW. (202) 408-3100. Colin Currie. 8 p.m. $30. sixthandi.org.

sunday Folk

galaxy hut 2711 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 5258646. Nuex, Veve Marley. 9 p.m. $5. galaxyhut.com. the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Dailey & Vincent. 6:30 p.m. $22.50–$39.50. t hehamiltondc.com.

Jazz

Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Marion Meadows. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$35. bluesalley.com.

university oF the distriCt oF ColumBia auditorium 4200 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 274-5900. Igor Levit. 2 p.m. $47. udc.edu.

tWins Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Leo Lion. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $22. twinsjazz.com.

Folk

BlaCK Cat BaCKstage 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. Sego, Kit Whitacre & The Chardonnay Boys, My French Roomate. 7:30 p.m. $10–$12. blackcatdc.com.

9:30 CluB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. The Wood Brothers. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com.

BluEs amp By strathmore 11810 Grand Park Ave., North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Chris Smither. 8 p.m. $30–$40. ampbystrathmore.com.

ElEctronic Funk & r&B

Bethesda Blues & Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Jeff Bradshaw & Friends. 8 p.m. $50. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

Jazz

BirChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Will Downing. 7:30 p.m. $75. birchmere.com.

Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Marion Meadows. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$35. bluesalley.com..

dar Constitution hall 1776 D St. NW. (202) 6284780. Valentine’s Day Soul Jam feat. The Stylistics. 7 p.m. $47–$99. dar.org.

tWins Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Eugenie Jones. 9 p.m.; 11 p.m. $27. twinsjazz.com.

verizon Center 601 F St. NW. (202) 628-3200. Charlie Wilson with Fantasia & Johnny Gill. 7 p.m. $48–$525. verizoncenter.com.

ElEctronic u street musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881889. Book of Love. 7 p.m. $25–$50. Ultra Naté & Lisa Moody. 10:30 p.m. $10. ustreetmusichall.com.

Funk & r&B Bethesda Blues & Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Syleena Johnson. 8 p.m. $59.50. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

Monday rock

9:30 CluB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Parquet Courts. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com. BlaCK Cat BaCKstage 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. Ninet Tayeb, Luray. 7:30 p.m. $12. blackcatdc.com.

washingtoncitypaper.com february 10, 2017 29

Fri & Sat, Feb. 10 & 11 at Midnight! 555 11th Street NW Washington, DC 20004 • (202) 783-9494

TH 75RSARY!

ANNIVE

Maren Morris at 9:30 Club, Feb. 16

FEATURING LIVE SHADOW CAST SONIC TRANSDUCERS!

Voting ends March 5 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best of 2017 out April 6 Reserve now! Call the advertising department to book your Best of D. C. ad today: 202-332-2100 dC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. July Talk, Mona, Little Junior. 8:30 p.m. $13–$15. dcnine.com.

Jazz

Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Marion Meadows. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$35. bluesalley.com.

JOSS WHEDON’S

rhizome dC 6950 Maple St. NW. Mellow Diamond, Ron Shalom & Austin Vaughn, Nagual. 8 p.m. $10. rhizomedc.org.

tuEsday rock

roCK & roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625. Common Kings. 7 p.m. $20–$25. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

World

eChostage 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. Anthony Santos. 7 p.m. $48–$60. echostage.com.

Folk

Barns at WolF trap 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. Cherish The Ladies. 8 p.m. $25–$30. wolftrap.org.

Jazz

Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Valentine’s Day with Marion Meadows. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $90. bluesalley.com. tWins Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Abby Schafer. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $22. twinsjazz.com.

Funk & r&B

Bethesda Blues & Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. The Spinners. 8 p.m. $75–$110. bethesdabluesjazz.com. Fillmore silver spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Jazmine Sullivan. 8 p.m. $35. fillmoresilverspring.com.

Folk Barns at WolF trap 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. Cherish The Ladies. 8 p.m. $25–$30. wolftrap.org. gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. ilyAIMy. 7:30 p.m. Free. gypsysallys.com.

Jazz Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. The Baylor Project. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $25. bluesalley.com. gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Hambone Relay. 8:30 p.m. $8. gypsysallys.com. tWins Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Kent Miller Group. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $22. twinsjazz.com.

thursday rock

dC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Names, The Red Fetish. 8:30 p.m. $8. dcnine.com.

hip-hop BlaCK Cat BaCKstage 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. Kodie Shane, Saucy Longwe, Cymia. 7:30 p.m. $15. blackcatdc.com. Warner theatre 513 13th St. NW. (202) 783-4000. Ms. Lauryn Hill. 8 p.m. $63–$318. warnertheatredc.com.

Folk Barns at WolF trap 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. Solas. 8 p.m. $25–$28. wolftrap.org. the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Vusi Mahlasela. 7:30 p.m. $15–$40. thehamiltondc.com.

the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Kenny Lattimore. 8 p.m. $30 –$65. thehamiltondc.com.

country

hoWard theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. Maysa. 8 p.m. $45–$90. thehowardtheatre.com.

Jazz

9:30 CluB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Maren Morris. 7 p.m. $20. 930.com.

Kennedy Center ConCert hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. NSO Pops: Valentine’s Day with Patti LaBelle. 8 p.m. $39–$129. kennedy-center.org.

gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Big Mean Sound Machine. 8:30 p.m. $10–12. gypsysallys.com.

sixth & i historiC synagogue 600 I St. NW. (202) 408-3100. Laura Mvula. 8 p.m. $29.50–$33.50. sixthandi.org.

tWins Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Brad Linde’s GUMSHOE. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $22. twinsjazz.com.

WEdnEsday

soundCheCK 1420 K St. NW. (202) 789-5429. Grum. 10 p.m. $20. soundcheckdc.com.

BlaCK Cat 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. The Radio Dept., Germans. 7:30 p.m. $15–$18. blackcatdc.com.

Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Mary Wilson. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $55–$70. bluesalley.com.

rock

30 february 10, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

hoWard theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. Mayhem, Inquisition, Black Anvil. 8 p.m. $20. thehowardtheatre.com.

ElEctronic Funk & r&B

washingtoncitypaper.com february 10, 2017 31

LIVE

UPCOMING PERFORMANCES

10TH ANNUAL NOLA FUNK MARDI GRAS BALL TOUR

VOODOO

DEAD

FEAT. STEVE KIMOCK, JACKIE GREENE,

OTEIL BURBRIDGE, JEFF CHIMENTI

WITH SPECIAL GUEST PAPA MALI

THURSDAY FEB

the

FEBRUARY

9

BILLY PRICE BAND & THE NIGHTHAWKS

DUSTBOWL

11

SYLEENA JOHNSON

W/ THE RAD TRADS

SU 12

LOVE HOLIDAY W/ JEFF BRADSHAW & FRIENDS (8PM)

FRI 10

S

M&T 13-14

W 15

S

18

VALENTINE’S DAY W/ THE SPINNERS BOB BALDWIN & NILS

THE BAR KAY’S & BRICK

TH 23

ANGIE STONE (7/10PM)

F

BRUCE IN THE USA TRIBUTE SHOW

SU 26

THE ROSSLYN MT. BOYS PLUS BOB PERILLA’S BIG HILLBILLY BLUEGRASS

JUST ANNOUNCED T

3/7

FRIDAY FEB

SAT, FEB 11

NEWMYER FLYER PRESENTS

THE BEATLES LOVE SONGS: VOL. 4 SUN, FEB 12

AN EVENING WITH

RICKIE LEE JONES & MADELEINE PEYROUX

Two Blocks from Bethesda Metro/Red Line Free Parking on Weekends

as you liKe it When Rosalind is banished from her home and flees to the forest, one of the Bard’s great romantic comedies begins. The classic tale of mistaken identities, love, and beauty comes to life at the Folger under the direction of Gaye Taylor Upchurch. Folger Elizabethan Theatre. 201 E. Capitol St. SE. To March 5. $35–$75. (202) 544-7077. folger.edu. BaBy sCreams miraCle A woman finds herself trapped with her estranged family during a wild storm as their home collapses and the world falls apart around them. Clare Barron’s new play comes to life at Woolly under the direction of Howard Shalwitz. Woolly Mammoth Theatre. 641 D St. NW. To Feb. 26. $20–$54. (202) 393-3939. woollymammoth.net. Caroline, or Change Set in 1960s Louisiana, this Tony Kushner musical chronicles the relationship between a black maid and the white boy who she cares for. As the characters sing about historical figures and events of the time, tensions simmer over when a small amount of money goes missing. Round House Theatre Bethesda. 4545 East-West Highway, Bethesda. To Feb. 26. $56–$76. (240) 644-1100. roundhousetheatre.org. the gin game Roz White and Doug Brown star in the Pulitzer Prize-winning drama that takes place over a game of gin rummy. As the action rises, their interactions become more intense and more details about their relationship are revealed. MetroStage. 1201 N. Royal St., Alexandria. To March 12. $55–$60. (703) 548-9044. metrostage.org. hooded: or, Being BlaCK For dummies Serge Seiden directs this world premiere production from emerging playwright Tearrance Arvelle Chisholm. Set in Baltimore and influenced by the Trayvon Martin case, this new comedy riffs on mistaken identity, incarceration, and being black on a privileged college campus. Atlas Performing Arts Center. 1333 H St. NE. To Feb. 19. $20–$60. (202) 399-7993. atlasarts.org.

VALENTINE’S DAY WITH

the hoW and the Why By the writer of hit TV shows In Treatment and The Affair, this exhilarating and keenly perceptive play about science, family, and survival of the fittest grapples with the choices faced by women of every generation. Emotion and evolution collide on the eve of a prestigious conference when an up-and-coming evolutionary biologist, whose theories might just change the way we regard sex itself, wrestles for the truth with an established leader in the field. Theater J. 1529 16th St. NW. To March 12. $17–$47. (202) 777-3210. theaterj.org.

THEHAMILTONDC.COM

i Wanna FuCKing tear you apart Morgan Gould dissects the inner workings of friendships in this comedy. When a new friend comes between two pals’ pattern of self-loathing and TV binging, they’re forced to confront the self-destructive patterns that defined their relationship. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To Feb. 19. $20–$55. (202) 332-3300. studiotheatre. org.

DAILEY & VINCENT TUES, FEB 14

KENNY LATTIMORE

D.C.’s awesomest events calendar. washingtoncitypaper.com/ calendar

7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda, MD (240) 330-4500 www. BethesdaBluesJazz.com

32 february 10, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

10

JOE CLAIR & FRIENDS COMEDY SHOW (7/10PM)

SU 19

24

REVIVAL

Theater

washingtoncitypaper.com

King Charles iii David Muse directs Mike Bartlett’s fictitious imagining of the reign of Queen Elizabeth II’s successor as his famous relatives look on. This modern history is told in Shakespearean blank verse and stars Robert Joy and Jeanne Paulsen. Sidney Harman Hall. 610 F St. NW. To March 12. $42–$118. (202) 5471122. shakespearetheatre.org. last train to niBroC Two young people meet on a train that’s carrying the bodies of F. Scott Fitzgerald and Nathanael West in this slight romance from playwright Arlene Hutton. One traveler aims to become a writer while one considers a career on the mission fields but as they connect over time, viewers learn the depth of their feelings for one another. Washington Stage Guild at Undercroft Theatre. 900 Massachusetts Ave. NW. To Feb. 19. $50–$60. (240) 5820050. stageguild.org. maCK, Beth Chris Stezin adapts one of Shakespeare’s most vicious dramas into a thriller for the cyber age. This new take on the tale about greed and ambition makes its world premiere in D.C. under the direction of Matt Ripa. Keegan Theatre at Church Street Theater. 1742 Church St. NW. To Feb. 11. $35–$45. (202) 265-3767. keegantheatre.com. peter and the starCatCher Learn about the events that led up to the story of Peter Pan in this prequel that finds an unnamed orphan boy fighting to outwit a charming and villainous pirate. This Tony Awardwinning play, inspired by a Dave Barry and Ridley Pear-

----------

son novel, comes to life at Constellation Theatre under the direction of Kathryn Chase Bryer. Constellation Theatre at Source. 1835 14th St. NW. To March 12. $20–$45. (202) 204-7741. constellationtheatre.org. the river A man and a woman spend a night together at a fishing cabin and try to capture the magic of love in this mysterious drama. Rebecca Holderness directs this play by Jez Butterworth. Spooky Action Theater. 1810 16th St. NW. To Feb. 26. $20–$40. (202) 248-0301. spookyaction.org. the taming oF the shreW Synetic brings back its popular wordless production of Shakespeare’s classic comedy about the division of the sexes and unrequited love. Associate artistic director Irina Tsikurishvili stars in this Hollywood-set production. Synetic Theater at Crystal City. 1800 South Bell St. , Arlington. To March 19. $20–$60. (866) 811-4111. synetictheater.org. the troJan Women The Riot Grrrls of Taffety Punk Theatre Company present their take on Euripedes’ ancient play about women dealing with the aftermath of war. Described as one of the first pieces of anti-war activism, this stirring drama is directed by Kelsey Mesa. Taffety Punk at Capitol Hill Arts Workshop. 545 7th St. SE. To March 4. $15. (202) 261-6612. taffetypunk.com. the very last days oF the First Colored CirCus Restoration Stage founder Courtney Baker-Oliver directs and provides the music and lyrics for this new musical written by his co-founder, Steven A. Butler Jr. set at the 1927 Charles County Fair. Focused around the themes of love, loss, and redemption, this new musical combines emotion with the whimsical aspects of the circus. Anacostia Playhouse. 2020 Shannon Place SE. To March 5. $45–$55. (202) 2902328. anacostiaplayhouse.com. WatCh on the rhine As the United States prepares to enter World War II, an American woman flees to the D.C. suburbs with her German husband and their children as he works to fight against fascism. Upon their arrival, however, they meet a visitor with ulterior motives who might threaten their safety. Academy Award nominee Marsha Mason stars in this drama, presented as part of Arena’s Lillian Hellman Festival. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To March 5. $40–$90. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org. Who’s aFraid oF virginia WoolF? Local favorites Holly Twyford and Gregory Linington star in Edward Albee’s classic drama about a tumultuous marriage and a highly tense dinner party. Aaron Posner directs this masterclass in verbal sparring that also features Maggie Wilder and Danny Gavigan. Ford’s Theatre. 511 10th St. NW. To Feb. 19. $15–$62. (202) 347-4833. fords.org. yo tamBién haBlo de la rosa (i too speaK oF the rose) Two teenagers skip school and end up derailing a train, leading to a long discussion of if and how they should be punished in this contemporary drama. GALA artistic producing director Hugo Medrano directs this landmark work by Mexican playwright Emilio Carbadillo, performed in Spanish with English supertitles. GALA Hispanic Theatre. 3333 14th St. NW. To Feb. 26. $22–$95. (202) 234-7174. galatheatre.org.

Film

50 shades darKer The twisted relationship between Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey becomes even more intense in this sexy sequel that finds Anastasia comparing herself to Christian’s past lovers. Directed by James Foley. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) John WiCK 2 A retired hitman, played by Keanu Reeves, returns to work and faces off against the world’s deadliest assassins in this thriller directed by Chad Stahelski. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) the lego Batman movie In this spin-off of the 2014 LEGO Movie, Batman is tasked with saving Gotham City, raising the boy he adopted, and learning not to take himself so seriously. Featuring the voices of Will Arnett, Rosario Dawson, and Ralph Fiennes. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) the salesman In this Academy Award-nominated film from Iran, a couple begins to question their relationship while performing in a production of Death of a Salesman. Written and directed by Asghar Farhadi. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

3701 Mount Vernon Ave. Alexandria, VA • 703-549-7500

For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter! Tix @ Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000

Feb 9&10

D ERIC ROBERSON Maurice 14 BURLESQUE-A-PADES

ROGER CREAGER FRI., FEB. 24 ~ 9:30PM TIX: $17-$20

in LOVELAND 10th Anniversary Show!

17&18

ARLO GUTHRIE

“Running Down The Road Tour”

MACEO PARKER

20 24

TODD SNIDER

25

HARMONY SWEEPSTAKES A CAPPPELLA FESTIVAL

26

DAVID DUCHOVNY

27

VICTOR WOOTEN TRIO THE feat. Dennis Chambers & Bob Franceschini

28 & MAR 1

GAELIC STORM

3&4

RACHELLE FERRELL

7&8

TOMMY EMMANUEL

“It’s Never Too Late Tour” with JOE ROBINSON

11

LAURIE ANDERSON

COLIN HAY 14 LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO 16 VANESSA CARLTON TRISTEN 17 CHRIS KNIGHT & WILL HOGE Matt TOM RUSH Nokia 18

13

25th Anniversary Show

19

MARC COHN 20&21 CHRIS BOTTI Seth 23 KASEY CHAMBERS Walker 24 RAHSAAN PATTERSON THE SUBDUDES 25 26

THE RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS Bill Medley & Bucky Heard

JAMES McMURTRY & TIFT MERRITT Heart 29 ANN WILSON POCO 30 31 LARRY GRAHAM

28

of

& Graham Central Station

Apr 2

FOURPLAY

H 2.9 2.10 2.14 2.16 2.17 2.18 2.21 2.23 2.24 2.25 2.28

H STEALIN’ THE DEAL THE HOWLIN’ BROTHERS THE LUSTRE KINGS CONNOR CHRISTIAN / TOM O’CONNOR HUMAN COUNTRY JUKEBOX REVELATOR HILL MELISSA GREENER THE 19TH STREET BAND ROGER CREAGER RANDY MCALLISTER WILD THE WATERS

H 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.6 3.9 3.10 3.14 3.16 3.21 3.24 3.25 3.28 4.1 4.4 4.7 4.8 4.27 5.16 5.18 6.27

H WOOD & WIRE THE HIGHBALLERS SUNNY SWEENEY THE TOSSERS & GALLOWS BOUND CALE TYSON CORY MORROW TOME RHODES DAN BAIRD & HOMEMADE SIN / ERIC AMBEL CASH’D OUT JONNY GRAVE & THE TOMBSTONES THE CURRYS SARAH POTENZA WESTERN CENTURIES HOOTEN HALLERS MARK EITZEL / HOWE GELB CAROLYN WONDERLAND DANNY BARNES / JENNI LYNN TIM EASTON / JASON RINGENBERG THE LEGENDARY SHACK SHAKERS & JESSE DAYTON FLAT DUO JETS

HILL COUNTRY BARBECUE MARKET

410 Seventh St, NW • 202.556.2050 Hillcountrylive.com • Twitter @hillcountrylive

Near Archives/Navy Memorial [G, Y] and Gallery PI/Chinatown [R] Metro

washingtoncitypaper.com february 10, 2017 33

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Accounting/Finance

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Ledroit Park NW DC Special. Nice X-LRG 1 BRDM + Den Apt. HRWD FLRS. French Doors, Bay Window, Ceiling Fan, LRG Rooms. Back Porch. Quiet BLDG, Near trans. $1320/mo. 301-262-9123 Also available 1BR with breakfast bar, $1300.

Senior II Accountant (Audit): Qualifi ed applicants will possess Bachelor’s Degree, or equiv., in Accounting or related fi eld plus 3 yrs of progressive exp. in accounting and/or audit operations. Multiple positions available. Forward resumes to: HR Mgr, Raffa, P.C., 1899 L Street, N.W., Suite 900, Washington, D.C. 20036. No telephone calls, please.

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Legals NOTICE OF INTENT TO ENTER A SOLE SOURCE CONTRACT Thurgood Marshall Academy charter school intends to enter into a sole source contract with Urban Teachers for recruitment and training of teaching fellows. Full notice available on the Employment Opportunities page under the About tab of www.thurgoodmarshallacademy.org. For further information contact David Schlossman, 202-276-4722, dschlossman@tmapchs.org by February 22, 2017.

Apartments for Rent

FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, Mt. Rainier Spacious lower levREPEAT CLASSIFIEDS el 2 bdrm. $1,199/month inc. util Call Joel Martin 202-274-1882 HEALTH/MIND, BODY or jn1martin@aol.com & @SPIRIT FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/MIND, BODY & SPIRIT http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

Adams Morgan. Mt.Pleasant http://www.washingtoncibeautiful large entrance and halltypaper.com/ way, LR and DR, high ceilings, HWF, intercom system. Move-in immediately. Effi ciency $850/mo. 1BR, $1400/mo. and 2 BDRM, $1800/Mo. + utils. Call, 202-3629441, ext. 16, or 202-362-8078

CapHill/NearRayburn Bldg/ Metro/2 one BR Units, W/D, hardwd flrs, Lower unit has Patio. Single occupancy. $1750.00 mo plus sec dep/No Pets NoSmoking monaghaneric@hotmail.com.

Condos for Rent Adams Morgan/Petworth First Month ‘s Rent free. 1BR with den condo, fully renovated, secure building, granite kitchen, new appliances, W/D, DW, CAC. Metro 1 block away, Safway across the st, assigned parking, $1770/mo. Ready now. NO PETS. If properly maintained rent will not increase (ask for details). 941 Randolph St. NW. Mr Gaffney, 202-829-3925 or 301-775-5701.

Rooms for Rent Furnished room available immediately for long or short term rental • SW Washington, DC. Jog by Potomac • Walk to Fort McNair • Metro • Arena Stage • Food shopping (Safeway; Harris Teeter) • Nationals’ Stadium and National Mall. $950 includes all utilities and basic cable. milkmaid@live. com. Capitol Hill Living: Furnished Rooms for short-term and longterm rental for $1,100! Near Metro, major bus lines and Union Station - visit website for details www.TheCurryEstate.com NE DC room for rent. $650/mo. utils included. $400 security deposit required Close to Metro and parking available. Use of kitchen, very clean. Seeking Professional. Call 301/237-8932.

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Art, Media & Graphic Design Sirius XM Radio Inc. Title: Technician, Broadcast Operations Location: 1500 Eckington Place NE, Washington, Dist. Columbia 20002 Position Summary: Responsible for monitoring the quality of our service, managing the routing and scheduling of audio/video content for SIRIUS XM Satellite Radio’s channels, with a focus on play by play broadcasts. This includes Operation and technical management of the systems in Broadcast Operations Center. Duties and Responsibilities: •Real time control of systems producing content for the broadcast channels (satellite and web), including digital audio workstations, automation systems and digital audio routing systems. •Respond to technical alarms from the various systems in the BOC in real time as well as addressing the needs of channel programmers. (talent and producers). •Real time understanding and control of program distribution methods (ISDN, IP, Satellite). •Produc and load reports from scheduling software to on-air affecting applications (PDT generating DSCs for example). •Interface with onsite Programming Sports Board Operators (providing informational packets, checking in and out of broadcasts). •Interface with Enterprise Control Center Shift Supervisors and Broadcast Maintenance technical staff. •Interface with other departments such as Programming and Broadcast Engineering and BNOC in NY. •Submit Service Now tickets to ECC Shift Supervisors for resolution. Supervisory Responsibilities: •none. Minimum Qualifi cations: •BS/BA Degree and/or equivalent combination of education and experience preferred. •5 or more years experience in broadcast operations. •Familiarity with digital audio editing, quality control, broadcast automation and digital routing. Requirements and General Skills: •Interpersonal skills and ability tohttp://www.washingtinteract and work with staff at http://www.washingtalloncitypaper.com/ levels. oncitypaper.com/ •Excellent written and oral communication skills. •Ability to work independently and in a team environment. •Ability to pay attention to details and be organized. •Ability to project professionalism over the phone and in person. •Commitment to “internal client” and customer service principles. •Ability to handle multiple tasks in a fast-paced environment. •Willingness to take initiative and to follow through with ECC and BTS. •Master control experience a plus. •Must have legal right to work in the U.S. Technical Skills: •Experience with broadcast automation or/and broadcast Master control applications.

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combination of education and experience preferred. •5 or more years experience in broadcast operations. •Familiarity with digital audio editing, quality control, broadcast automation and digital routing. Requirements and General Skills: •Interpersonal skills and ability to interact and work with staff at all levels. •Excellent written and oral communication skills. •Ability to work independently and in a team environment. •Ability to pay attention to details and be organized. •Ability to project professionalism over the phone and in person. •Commitment to “internal client” and customer service principles. •Ability to handle multiple tasks Art, Media & in a fast-paced environment. •WillingnessGraphic to take Design initiative and to follow through with ECC and BTS. •Master control experience a plus. •Must have legal right to work in the U.S. Technical Skills: •Experience with broadcast automation or/and broadcast Master control applications. •Thorough knowledge of MS-Offi ce Suite (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Access). Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action Employer - Minorities/ Females/Protected Veterans/ Disabled The requirements and duties described above may be modifi ed or waived by the Company in its sole discretion without notice. Please apply here: http://siriusxm.jobs/ washington-dc/technician-broadcast-operations/ F7E359365D684294BB7973F9CF8B315C/job/

Computer/Technical

Miscellaneous

Multi IT Related Positions (National Placement out of Fairfax County, VA). Able to travel/relocate to different client sites as needed. Candidates must have MS & 1Yr exp. Degree & exp may be in Computers, Eng’g, or IT related fi eld. Foreign educational equiv or any suitable combo of education, training or exp acceptable. Candidate will create, modify, the code forms & script that allow computer applications to run. Salary offered $98,550/yr.

Walsh Construction is holding a Job Fair on Thursday February 16th, 2017 from 2 – 4 pm at the Mellow Mushroom Adams Morgan located at 2436 18th St, NW, Washington, DC 20009. Seeking ALL Tradesmen / Bring your resume!! Walsh Construction senior staff will be available to discuss current and future job openings in all trades. If interested come with your resume. If you are unable to attend, you may also submit your resume to AdamsMorganConstructionJobs@gmail.com or call 202-560-5639.

Business Opportunities

Computer Programmer (Sharepoint): Must have skills in Sharepoint including Sharepoint Designer & Sharepoint Developer as well as Infopath Forms. In addition, will need exp w/C#, ASP.NET, WCF, CSS, MVC & JQuery. Ref# CPS–0216 TKB. Computer Programmer (Mobile Apps): Must have skills for mobile application programming using prior skills in IOS, IOS Native, Android, CSS and HTML5. Ref# CPM-0216 TKB.

PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1000 A Week Mailing Brochures From Home! No Experience Required. Helping home workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity. Start Immediately! www.IncomeStation.Net

All positions FT-PERM 9-5, 40 hrs/wk. Use REf# to apply. Resume to TekBank Consultants, Inc., 530 B Huntmar Park Drive, Suite Q, Herndon, VA 20171 or hr@tekbank.net. TekBank is EOE M/F/V/D.

Career Instruction/ Training/Schools AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563

Computer/Technical Multi IT Related Positions (National Placement out of Loudon County, VA). Must be able to travel/relocate to unanticipated client sites as needed. U.S. Degree or foreign equiv as well as any exp if req’d may be in either Computers, Eng’g, Info Systems, Telecommunications, IT, Management, Business, International or related fi eld. A suitable combo of educn, training or exp accepted. May qualify for either job below: COMPUTER SYSTEMS ANALYST (Quality Assurance): Must have MS & 1Yr exp.. Must have exp w/Quality Center; Jira; DB2; and OBIEE. Salary $103,272/yr. Ref# CSQA-0816 COMPUTER SYSTEMS ANALYST (Business): MS req’d, although no exp necessary, Must have coursework in Info Systems; Analysis, Modeling & Design; & Systems Development. Salary $103,727/ yr. Ref# CSAB-0816 JUNIOR MANAGEMENT ANALYST (Business): BS req’d(3yr academic BS’s is acceptable) & 2Yrs exp.. Must have exp w/Quality Center; Clear Quest; MS Visio; MS Project; Java; User Acceptance Testing (UAT); & Change Control Board (CCB). Salary $83,304/yr. Ref# JMGTB-0816, All positions FT-Perm 9-5, 40 hrs/wk. Use Ref# when applying. Resume to Asta CRS, Inc. 44121 Harry Byrd Hwy, Suite 230, Ashburn, VA 20147 or resumes@astacrs.com. Asta CRS, Inc. is EOE

Allwyn Corporation Multi IT Related Positions (National Placement out of Fairfax County, VA). Able to travel/relocate to different client sites as needed. Degree & exp may be in Computers, Eng’g, or IT related fi eld. Foreign educational equiv or suitable combo of education, training or exp is acceptable.

Flyer Distributors Needed Monday-Friday and weekends. We drop you off to distribute the fl yers. NW, Bethesda, Silver Spring, Wheaton. $9/hr. 301237-8932

Cleaning Professional cleaning of apartments, townhouses. Residential and Commercial cleaning. We also do hauling. Entire Metro area. 301-237-8932.

Moving & Hauling Bookstore Movers: Washington City Paper’s “Best DC Movers” of 2010-2016. Offering professional, honest and reliable moving and packing services to the DC metro area. Visit www. bookstoremovers.com for a free quote.

Personal Services Looking for Elderly Care job. Experience, good references, CPR/first aide certifi ed. Call 240271-1011.

Database Administrator: MS Garage/Yard/ & 1Yr of exp req’d. Must have Rummage/Estate Sales skills w/MS SQL Server, SSIS, SSRS. Salary $99,112/yr. Ref# BETHESDA ESTATE SALE: Th, DBS–0416 AW. 2/9 – Su, 2/12, 10am-4pm. Near Computer Systems Analyst: BS Rayburn and Wilson (signs will be & 2Yrs exp req’d. Must have exp posted). Eclectic mix of vintage, in analysis, implementation & antiques, sofas, cushion chairs, testing of mangmnt related softcoffee/side tables, desks, dresser, ware. Must have exp w/online 4 poster bed, artwork, designer procurement systs & assessment, clothes, jewelry, formal and caanalysis & procurement of busihttp://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ sual table ware, beautiful crystal ness productivity tools & solu(including champagne, wine, tions. Salary $83,304/yr. Ref# margarita, aperitif glasses), kitchCSA-0416 AW. en items, knick knacks galore, and more. All sold as-is. No returns. All positions FT-PERM 9-5, 40 Cash only. hrs/wk. Us Ref# to apply. Resume to Allwyn Corporation, 530 Cars/Trucks/SUVs B Huntmar Park Drive, Suite Q, Herndon, VA 20171 or hr@allFIND YOUR OUTLET. wyncorp.com. Allwyn is an EOE RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT http://www.washingtonciM/F/V/D.

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Over 1,000 vehicles! http://www.washingtonGross monthly income must be citypaper.com/ 2k min - 2 current Pay-Stubs & 1 recent Bill required. Jason @ 202.704.8213 -Hyattsville, MD (Near New Carrollton Metro) 10am-8pm

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DJ DC SOUL man. Hiphop, reggae, go-go, oldies, etc. Clubs, caberets, weddings, etc. Contact the DC Soul Hot Line at 202/2861773 or email me at dc1soulman@live.com.

Our honorable Senators: we ask that you vote your conscience on the cabinet appointments. Now is the time to do the right thing. Our actions today will remain for posterity and will determine the nature of our tomorrows.

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ington Area Clinic Defense Task Force (WACDTF) needs volunteer clinic escorts Saturday mornings, weekdays. Trainings, other info:202-681-6577, http://www. wacdtf.org, info@wacdtf.org. Twitter: @wacdtf

Pregnant? Considering Adoption? Call us first. Living expenses, housing, medical, and continued support afterwards. Choose adoptive family of your choice. Call 24/7. 877-362-2401. Struggling with DRUGS or ALCOHOL? Addicted to PILLS? Talk to someone who cares. Call The Addiction Hope & Help Line for a free assessment. 800-978-6674

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