Seek What You Can't Have

To some, this has no meaning. But to me, it’s a song that keeps singing. You could call me Midas, I ruin what I touch. What I seek is companions, I seek friends. But at the end of every attempt, All I achieved was new end, And that is a sad reality. With every end, I learn the same lesson. I learn that being me is not a favorable, Whenever I am myself, I know the outcome. The outcome is loneliness, a sorrowful song. To be insane, you repeat the same But expect a different outcome. And every time, that I try I hope that their leave will be delayed. To every friend I’ve ever had, I’m sorry for the troubles I’ve caused, Sadly I continue to be insane, And my attempts for friends will be in vain.

In the night I see your eyes shine

At night you make my worries disappear

It fills my heart with joy when I call you mine

In good times and bad times we were there for each other

It would break my heart whenever I saw you shed a tear

And I would try so you wouldn't shed another

I know the moment I saw you, you were perfect

No other would be able to compare Your care is a long lasting effect

When our eyes connected I swear I loved your stare I thought when I made my choice I wasn't incorrect

But everything is temporary In the end you chose someone better

Now this pain I have to carry

I finally deleted our messages

Our pictures

And finally your contact

Probably the hardest thing I had to do I kept putting it off But I finally realized that it's time

We had something not a lot of people get to experience I looked at the messages

The pictures

The videos

Visited the places we went to For one last time

Just to get closure

But then realized Me going to all those places one last time Isn't going to make me move on Only time will help me do that

Love is a dagger

When the blade faces outward

You can face anything

You can slaughter hate

You can overcome challenges

You feel like you can do anything

In this small world

You want to hurt anyone that hurts

The one you love

With that small dagger

Called love

It’s all fun until the blade faces you

In the darkness of your room

And rips you into pieces

Until you can no longer breathe

Eat or sleep

Until you feel like an abandoned child

Waiting for the love of its mother

Except, the person you are willing to do anything for Never loves you back

With that same dagger called love

The one you used to protect, your loved one

It now starts ripping you apart

Because you are well aware

They don't feel the same as you do

It is a weapon we must use wisely

Or it will end us most likely

I walked into my cell,

There he was, standing all alone

This was his story to tell, How could I have known?

Brian was never one to be quiet. He Always said some random things, Like “what if I went on a diet?”

Or “what if we were kings?”

Brian never slept either.

Talks as if it's non-stop!

Some days he would weep, Some days, I hoped that he would drop.

One day we got lunch, Of course he didn't stop talking.

I look around as people munched, No one looked, they kept on walking?

I asked Brian why no one looked his way?

He was quiet for a little.

Most quiet seconds of my stay!

He looks at me and starts to giggle.

“No one can see me, ” he says.

I look at him astonished.

I go back to my cell as Brian says,

“Ignore it, it's not important.”

Brian never stayed quiet, Always says random things.

“I want to be a pirate!”

“What if people had wi-” STOP!

I yell at Brian to stop,

He was quiet once again.

I say the more that he talks, The more my head wants to pop! He doesn't speak anymore, I drift off to bed.

I wake up as if I'm back from war, I look over, I see Brian's head?

Brian is standing in his corner, It seems like he's floating?

To my utter horror, I look as I realize I was unknowing. The warden comes to the cell, Tells me I'm free to go? I walk out of this hell, Not understanding what I know.

As I turn to see the prison,

I see that it's now gone, now i fall asleep And wake up alone.

I shoot up from my bed! It's 7 in the morning?

I have to write a poem from my head, But I know Brian and I stay in mourning.