Dave Matthews Band Chicago Rivers Incident

The ultimate act of disrespect

BY CARTER STARKEY

It was a fateful afternoon, August 8th, 2004, when a tour bus belonging to the Dave Matthews Band was traveling through the city of Chicago with, among other things, a blackwater tank full to the brim with human excrement. That same afternoon, the Chicago Institute of Architecture was doing tours along the Chicago river in a small, open-roofed vessel called the “Little Lady.”

What happened in the precious few moments when these two vehicles crossed paths, the bus being on the Kinzie Street Bridge and the boat on the river below, is not for the faint of heart. The bus belonging to the beloved jam band chose to empty its tank into the Chicago River when, just at that moment, the Little Lady passed beneath it. How did the driver not notice he was dumping a whopping 800-pound payload onto the most unsuspecting group of architecture enthusiasts? And much more importantly, why did he do it? Well, we can only speculate.

I believe that this was, in fact, the most disrespectful act of the 21st century thus far. Which makes the DMB among those to be burnt in this issue. By and large, the band has skirted the hate and consequences that accompany an act of this magnitude. They were forced to pay $300,000 to environmental protection and other projects, but what about the people whose open mouths were met by the raining excrement? What about them!?

Justice may never be fully served.