The Wake, Issue 7, Spring 2012

what the fu k Memes

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Hal Lovemelt

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Lizzo & The Larva Ink Interview 21 february - 06 march 2012

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Editorial

Production

Editor-in-Chief Maggie Foucault

Production Manager Ryan Webert

Managing Editor Alex Lauer

Graphic Designers Steph Mertes, Sean Quinn, Ryan Webert

Cities Editor Alyssa Bluhm

Art Director Keit Osadchuk

Voices Editor Alicia Johnson

Advertising Managers Cooper Henckel, Steve Sitek

“Guess what?? There are only three weeks until spring break! That means less than 12 weeks until the semester is over! Crazy, right?”

You’ve undoubtedly heard the spring break exclamation at least once around campus, but why do so many people say this? It’s mostly to reassure students that even though there is the looming pressure of papers, group projects, and midterms—get-stupid time is right around the corner.

People do this in the rest of their lives too. “Only four days until the weekend!” “Only a couple more months and these Occupy people will be gone!”

“Only a few years until BP cleans up that oil spill!” “Only X amount of time until X candidate comes in and fixes everything!”

Sound & Vision Editor Zach McCormick

This Issue Cover Artist Wake Magazine Photographers Daniel Murphy, Habakkuk Stockstill

The problem with this mindset is that it pervades every aspect of our lives.

We no longer like to think about the big problems with the world. We simply distract ourselves with other, more simple pleasures. “And, seriously, what could I, as a single, lowly person, do about them?”

Business Advisory Board James DeLong, Kevin Dunn, Courtney Lewis, Eric Price, Morgan Mae Schultz, Kay Steiger, Mark Wisser

Illustrators Angie Frisk, Josie Keifenheim, Rachel Mosey, Keit Osadchuk, Sean Quinn

Don’t worry though, a lot of this issue is WTF in a good way. We have an interview with Hal Lovemelt of Playatta (yes, that is his real last name), an interview with Lizzo and the Larva Ink, and a review of Clandesdine—Minneapolis’ underground supper club.

Contributing Writers Amanda Abell, Mitchell Ambrose, Alyssa Bluhm, Jane Campbell, Maggie Foucault, Cooper Henckel, Ashley Herink, Elizabeth Ireland, Alicia Johnson, Theon Kynedy, Alex Lauer, Tyler Lauer, Valerie Lund, Elizabeth Mann, Zach McCormick, Justin Miller, Kelsey Schwartz, Steve Sitek, Logan Wroge

©2009 The Wake Student Magazine. All rights reserved.

Established in 2002, The Wake is a fortnightly independent magazine and registered student organization produced by and for the students of the University of Minnesota.

It has been said that a primary function of the bourgeois press is reassurance. While no one says “bourgeois” anymore, except maybe English or History majors, I would say publishing this out of a university makes us just that. Fortunately for you, we are not here to offer reassurance this issue. We are here to make you have an involuntary reaction and blurt out “What the fuck?!” I say “fortunately” because even though most of this issue is talking about horrible things that are happening in the world, they are horrible things that we can change. But change can’t come without recognition of the problem. Read this entire issue. Let it soak in. Feel horrible.

Then do something about it.

So it’s not all bad, but a lot of it is.

11:7 The Wake Student Magazine 1313 5th St. SE #331 Minneapolis, MN 55414

Alex Lauer Managing Editor

(612) 379-5952 • www.wakemag.org The Wake was founded by Chris Ruen and James DeLong.

The Wake is published with support from Campus Progress/Center for American Progress (online at www.campusprogress.org).

disclaimer The purpose of The Wake is to provide a forum in which students can voice their opinions. Opinions expressed in the magazine are not representative of the publication or university as a whole. To join the conversation email mfoucault@wakemag.org.

voices

I Can Haz Racism?

Offensive Memes on University Facebook Page by maggie foucault On February 7, the University of Minnesota Memes Facebook page was created. Within hours, thousands of memes had been posted by students purporting to represent shared experiences at the U of M Twin Cities campus. Although most were innocuous -- complaining of the long distance to the St. Paul campus or reminiscing of the joyous occasions when one happens upon Mike Gould and his guitar serenading the mall -- others were downright offensive. Multiple memes posted on the site target student populations that are already underrepresented, namely minority students, international students, and non-traditional students. These memes create an uncomfortable atmosphere on campus for the students targeted by them, adding stress to students in an environment that already feels less than welcoming for many.

While some memes highlight a more casual (yet still completely unacceptable) form of racism, such as the memes that use an image of an African-American man with text that borders on offensive at the top and then a banal statement attempting to negate the previous text (see example below or at wakemag.org), none are more blatantly racist and xenophobic than those targeting international students, mostly aimed at students from Asian countries. These memes rely on stereotypes, usually based on accents and English language skills, to express the frustration of domestic students when encountering a professor that they have trouble understanding. Some express the excitement of a student finding out that their “TA speaks English.” Others replace every letter L in a sentence with an R in an attempt to mimic an “Asian” accent and express frustration of learning difficult subject matter from someone who is not a native English speaker. All of these memes are not only offensive, but incredibly isolating.

They take a group of people on campus and make them into outsiders, whether students acknowledge that or not.

From viewing these memes, you might think that the U of M has a large international student population. However, the U does not even break the top ten for percentage of international students enrolled, according to the Open Doors report published by the Institute of International Education. In fact, international students only make up ten percent of the entire population of the U, including undergraduate, graduate and doctorate students. Of this population, the majority are enrolled as graduate students, followed closely by undergraduate. To be fair, the experience of learning from a professor or T.A. for whom English is their second language can be a challenge for students who have had little exposure to a global community. “It’s also important to validate the experiences of these people,” said Eric Kroetsch, an advisor and counselor at the International Student and Scholars Services [ISSS], “their experiences are their lived circumstances, which are important as well.” Kroetsch also believes that these memes are not a productive way to discuss the issue and actively counteract the message of the University, “At a bare minimum, a meme like that is inappropriate and not helpful. It’s just not consistent with the U’s views on it’s students being global citizens. It’s really the antithesis of that.”

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21 february - 06 march 2012

Beth Isensee, Program Director of Student Engagement at ISSS and advisor to the International Buddy Program, pointed out that offensive memes like the ones discussed above not only hurt international and minority students, but also the students who posted the image in the first place. “Based on [these memes], it seems to be a stereotype of what the student can gain from that class or that teacher or TA and that could very well hurt the student themselves. If a student goes in and stereotypes about what they can get from that relationship they may be limiting themselves and their future opportunities.”

On a campus as large as the U, it is appalling to see such a lack of awareness and respect. Sadly, for minority students on campus these memes are not surprising. Sherese Taylor, an officer of the International Buddy Program, said, “This is not a new phenomenon. That type of racism is not something that’s new and shocking to people of color or minorities. It’s just now it’s on a larger platform, it’s on Facebook, so everybody gets to see it and everybody gets to feel the things that minorities have been complaining about for a long time.”

Other members of the International Buddy Program leadership echoed these sentiments. “When a foreigner sees me, they just think I am Indian because ‘all the brown people are Indian,’” said Jude Dias, a Civil Engineering student from Sri Lanka, “so [from these memes] will they think that all the foreigners have a bad accent so I should not go to this class?”

Other students pointed out that having an accent should not be seen as a flaw, rather it can showcase their culture and history. “I am Chinese, and I can talk with people and make them laugh and have a fun time together, and I think that is the purpose of a second language,” said Ning Xu, a Communications Studies major with a minor in Teaching English as a Second Language. Asa Widiastomo, a Communications student from Indonesia, said, “I actually just learned when I got here that English is not the official language of the United States, so technically we are not required to speak the language, since it’s not the official language. We can talk in whatever language we feel comfortable in.”

How can this pervasive cultural ignorance be combated on campus? A statement from the president’s office concern-

Find more examples of offensive memes at wakemag.org

ing these memes is decidedly passive, relying on “self-policing” by the students who post to the memes page as the best course of action. However, this course of action has not removed a large amount of the offensive memes and it has not had any impact on the campus climate. Students that post to the memes site still seem to feel as though to attend the U, one must be young, white, and a U.S. citizen, another phenomenon that is not foreign to minority students on campus. “There’s one meme that has Asian students that says ‘Welcome to the University of Minnesota,’ so why isn’t there a meme that has a whole bunch of Anglo students that says ‘Welcome to the University of Minnesota?’ Because that’s what is told to us, that’s what’s normal, you expect that,” said Taylor. At such a wellknown and respected university, it is a shame that the majority of the student body has not benefited from the University’s “Learning Outcomes,” specifically that of Diversity and Social Justice and Global Perspectives, and that the University administration is not concerned about that fact.

Throughout these interviews, one theme was obvious.

When asked for some productive solutions to the specific problem of having a hard time understanding a lecturer whose second language is English, or for interacting with international students in general, there was one word that was repeated over and over: Listen.

“Just go ask, ‘Can you repeat?’ It’s the direct way, and it’s clear. International people are happy you ask them again because sometimes they also don’t know if you don’t understand them. If you don’t point it out, they will assume that you understand,” said Xu. Clicking through the memes, it is clear that many U of M students do not understand why these might be offensive to others, as evidenced by the hundreds upon hundreds of “likes,” especially on some of the most egregious. Those students that manage to voice their frustration at these images are accused of having no sense of humor or being too “politically correct.”

What these meme-posting students don’t understand is that memes like these fracture the university community into small groups, defined as insiders or outsiders. These images force minority, international and non-traditional students into being outsiders, even though they have just as much of a right to be here as the rest of the student body. “I don’t want the University to take people’s First Amendment rights, I want people to be able to say what they want to say, but however I do want people to be mindful of the implications of what they say,” said Taylor.

The students posting and “liking” these offensive memes wear their ignorance on their sleeve like a badge of courage, hiding behind free speech and humor to disseminate hurtful messages. What these students don’t realize is that these offensive memes not only hurt both themselves and others, but also shut down any dialogue that could happen around these issues. “By blocking people based on one thing, you are missing out on a huge opportunity to learn and to grow from other people,” said Isensee. Instead of allowing these messages to go unchecked or “self-policed,” the University needs to take a stand against racism on campus and emphasize their previously defined Learning Outcomes. This kind of bigotry has been around for centuries, but Facebook has given it a platform to come back into the public eye. As future citizens of an increasingly globalized world, students must take a stand against their misguided peers and realize that these attitudes only serve to create more tensions and rifts across countries and cultures.

voices

We Aren’t Free

Freedom is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as “the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants; the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved.”

Thoughts on the American Prison System.

Taking this into account, here are some facts about America, Land of the Free:

By Tyler Lauer

1. Despite having only around 5% of the world’s population, the United States holds 25% of the world’s prisoners (2008).

Freedom.

2. In the U.S. some 743 per 100,000 people are imprisoned.

The next highest country is Russia with 584 (2009).

It’s the one overarching concept that America was built on.

3. The federal prison population has more than doubled since 1995 while the total population of the United States has only risen from around 266 million to around 309 million in that same time period (2010).

So what is freedom? What does it mean to be free?

To better understand the concept of freedom in relation to the America that we live in today, I decided to transcribe a conversation in which the rational side of me talked to and questioned the side of me that is proud to be an American:

4. One in every 28 children in the U.S. has an incarcerated parent. Two-thirds of these parents have committed nonviolent offenses (2010).

Rationality: “What was America built on?”

Pride: “Freedom. Obviously.”

R: “What does it mean to be free?”

P: “It means to have the right to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.”

R: “Do you think you’re free?”

P: “I do and I am. I live in America.”

R: “Did you know that America houses 25% of the world’s prisoners despite only having 4.48% of the world’s population?

P: “No. But we are safer than any other country. So it makes sense.”

steve sitek

P: “Well I, I mean, I guess. Yeah. I guess I don’t even think about prisoners, not on a daily basis by any means. It’s not my fault. I know people who have been affected terribly by crime and so I don’t give a shit about prisoners. Plus, prisons are sectioned off from society. It’s like we are meant to not think about the people in there.”

R: “It’s like criminals are made out to be less than human.”

P: “Yeah. And sometimes they are.”

R: “Are you sure? America has the highest crime rate of any country in the world. That doesn’t seem safe.”

R: “So, now, do you think America still upholds the idea of freedom and constitutional rights for everyone?”

P: “Huh. I didn’t know that. How is that possible?”

P: “Well it’s not that easy of a question.”

R: “Tough sentencing laws, among other things. Our drug problem contributes a lot to it.”

R; “I thought it was obvious?”

P: “...”

P: “Oh. Ok.” R: “So do you think you’re really free now?”

P: “Well...it’s not that simple. I guess we have to surrender some freedom in order to protect the rights of everyone, you know? Private property is a big part of how America grew. The right to pursue monetary gains comes with rights to property, which we end up needing to protect.”

R: “But what about the rights of prisoners? While assault rates are falling in the U.S. they are rising drastically in prisons. What about them?”

P: “Well they broke the law. So they deserve it.”

R: “What do they deserve?”

P: “To be imprisoned.”

R: “Do they deserve to be tortured?”

P: “No. Of course not. The 8th Amendment of the Constitution prohibits federal government from imposing cruel and unusual punishment.”

R: “Would you consider rape to be torture? What about repeated rape? What about solitary confinement for days, weeks, or even years?”

What happened to freedom from cruel and unusual punishment? Cruel and unusual punishment is the definition of what the prison system has become. We as the American public can’t be forced to forget about our fellow Americans.

It’s all too easy to dismiss the rights of criminals, especially if you have been a victim, but we cannot forget that these are human beings too. I wish all rapists and murders would be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. I wish tragedies like that would never have to befall another human being. If someone I knew was raped, I would hunt down the rapist and cut their head off. These are the feelings of someone who has been a victim of crime. This is not an easy subject to wrap your head around. Nothing here is black and white, but we for sure cannot be so reckless as to stereotype every criminal. It is just as bad as stereotyping any group of people. We all feel pain. We all feel loss. What helps us overcome that pain and loss are the people we surround ourselves with, our families and friends. What is the point of life if you are sectioned off from the possibility of loving relationships and put in a cell, living under the fear of assault and repeated rape until you end up being let go, if you’re lucky enough to be let go?

5. Each year there are about 213,000 victims of sexual assault.

This statistic does not include the prison population. If it was included, the number would be more like 429,000 victims ever year. Keep in mind this statistic is of the number of victims, not instances, of assault.

Freedom is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as “the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants; the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved.”

Considering this limited list, on which many statistics could be added, we may have to change the idea of freedom in relation to America. Freedom’s new definition: The forfeiting of human rights to a group of individuals elected by the people who then decide for us what our rights should be. This may seem like a radical definition, but there is truth in every word.

The truth of this statement can by found in the life and death of prisoner Rodney Hulin.

The mid-90’s were a bad time to live in Texas if you were a teenage hooligan. George W. Bush, in 1994, became governor after defeating the incumbent Anne Richards by showing her to be soft on crime. The political climate in Texas at that time supported the trying of juvenile offenders as adults, since apparently political climates (aka opinions of elected officials) can sway the right to basic human rights.

So what landed this kid in prison? At the age of 16, Hulin threw a molotov cocktail into a pile of trash that caused some damage to the exterior of a building. He was tried as an adult and was given two options: he could enroll in boot camp and probation and would receive two 15-year sentences if he failed or he could choose 8 years in prison with the possibility of parole in 2. He chose prison.

At the Clemens Unit in Brazoria County, Texas, he was raped by other young offenders. He asked to be moved out of harm’s way but his request was denied. He was told to grow up and deal with it by the prison’s warden. Less than three months after the initial incident, Hulin wrote a suicide note and hanged himself in his cell.

www.wakemag.org

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voices

Red Bull Gives You Wiiiings…

When you die from drinking it.

By Alyssa Bluhm

Pick your poison: Starbucks, Red Bull, 5-hour Energy shots, Diet Coke. They seem harmless, right? After all, you’ve probably consumed at least one item off this list in tandem with pulling an all-nighter or cramming for an exam. What you probably didn’t consider when you were guzzling down that can of Monster, however, were the freaky consequences of drinking too much caffeine.

according to Today’s TMJ4 in Milwaukee. At least he ended up with a good excuse for being behind on homework.

And consider the case of a man from Kentucky who strangled his wife with an extension cord after overdosing on caffeine.

Suspicion that his wife was having an affair resulted in lack of sleep, causing Woody Smith to consume energy drinks in order to be alert for work the next day, says a CBS News report. Although the report doesn’t mention how much caffeine Smith consumed, “death of spouse” is one side effect you’ll never find printed on the warning label.

Caffeine is even worse when combined with alcohol, a situation epitomized by a string of Four Loko-related events not long ago. An FDA warning issued in November 2010 declared caffeine as an unsafe additive to the drinks, and numerous accident reports from the time support the FDA’s claims.

None of the accidents are unique enough to mention specifically, but they all follow the same pattern straight from a D.A.R.E. lesson plan: person drinks Four Loko, person is too

hyped up on caffeine to feel drunk, person drinks more Four Loko, person ends up in hospital emergency room or worse, the morgue. Four Loko was reintroduced the next month as a normal alcoholic beverage, and all of the recalled caffeinated versions were recycled into ethanol. People were naturally upset about the reformulated drinks, but they should have found it more disconcerting that they actually wanted to drink part of the nation’s fuel resources.

What’s the moral of the story? Well, the next time you’re waiting in the blockbuster line for coffee at the Coffman Starbucks, you could be helping your body by taking a nap instead. And if your roommates ever criticize you for drinking too much caffeine, just consider that they might be afraid you’re going to kill them some day. In the long run, consuming large amounts of caffeine for the sake of productivity is more counterproductive than anything. Caffeine may be to you as spinach is to Popeye, but that feeling of superhuman strength is nothing that a humbling trip to the ER can’t cure.

While the basic side effects include trouble sleeping, irregular heartbeat, and dizziness, the real cause for concern comes from extreme cases of caffeine poisoning. Take, for example, Jack Borgardt from New Berlin, WI, who temporarily went blind from drinking seven energy drinks within a 24-hour time span. Borgardt, who was in high school at the time, claimed he drank that much caffeine so he could catch up on homework, habakkuk stockstill

Revolution In The Middle East

Over the past year, the Arab world has experienced a string of revolutions referred to as the Arab Spring. Popular fever for freedom and distain of dictators has spread from one country to the next, similar to the European revolutions of 1848, and 1989. Dictators throughout the Middle East have discovered the true meaning of “Power to the people.” Within the past year, Egypt, Yemen, Tunisia, and Libya have all usurped their dictator’s oppression. Each country’s scenario has been enthused by unique revolution and protests, yet all have been driven by a consistent thirst for freedom. When waves of uprising against totalitarian power spread through the Middle East in early 2011, Syria promised they would not be affected by the unrest. Fast-forward 11 months, and they have not followed through on their promise. The entire country has experienced heightened bloodshed at the hands of the Assad regime. This has brought Syria into a scenario in which Civil War seems inevitable.

by steve sitek

josie keifenheim

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Every day the casualty total continues to rise, and civilians are crying for foreign help. The crisis has become a worldwide concern regarding human rights. The regime’s crackdown on rebel forces has left roughly 6,000 dead since early 2011.

The biggest red flag, a majority have been civilians, women, and children. The United Nations responded to the unrest by proposing a plan in which the Assad regime would be forced to step down, but China and Russia vetoed the UN proposal twice despite repeated appeals by Arab nations. The entire world has aligned itself against the Syrian regime aside of a few countries. The most powerful: Russia, China, and Iran,

are the reason bloodshed has failed to stop in Syria. Cold War and sectarian policies have formed these countries ideology regarding Syria. Russia has interests in Syrian ports since the days of the Soviet Union. Iran has been a longtime ally of Syria because of their religious ties. Iran, Lebanon, and Iraq are like Syria, predominantly Shia, and have been more involved in Syria since the protests began. China has a large stake in Iranian Oil, and their lack of commitment to the UN seems to be in appeasement to Iran. The commonality between these countries is that none of them want to see the Assad regime go anywhere. They have argued for peace agreements instead of UN intervention.

This unpopular logic has been viewed as a mistake by the rest of the world as bloodshed continues. If the bloodshed leads to full Civil War, the country would be left in shambles. War could also open the door for Islamist extremists such as Al Qaeda to find their niche in post-Civil War nation building.

The Assad regime has lost global creditability by handling their protests with brutal violence. Russia and China can’t expect the murderous regime to have any longevity, unless they really view the free Syrian army as terrorist rebels. The stake in Syria lies much deeper than their proposed peace agreements. Help is being stymied by political and economic factors surrounding the region. Bottom line, the killing needs to stop!

voices

Animal Farm

Factory farming is still an issue that affects everyone, college students included.

By Elizabeth Ireland

I grew up in rural southern Minnesota. Corn and soybean fields surrounded my home and tractors crawled by on gravel roads. I went to a tiny school where families had been attending for generations; many were centennial farmers. They were mostly Irish Catholic and German Lutheran. You get the idea; a quiet, idyllic little town populated with meat-and-potatoes people. You might even imagine that they raised their own meat and grew their own potatoes – but you’d be wrong.

The crops were for feeding the animals. The majority of those animals were owned by a small percentage of the farmers. Instead of feeding the people in the area, the animals were sold to larger companies to take to market.

If you’re picturing pigs lolling around in mud and grass outside, that is wrong too. In fact, though there were thousands of hogs in my community, you’d be hard pressed to actually ever see one. They were kept indoors in long, strange looking buildings. If you didn’t know what you were seeing, you’d never guess what was in the structures – unless you got within a mile of the buildings, in which case your nose would tell you.

The whole business is unpleasant and most are ignorant of it or desensitized to it.

It is not the image people think of when they imagine where their food comes from. The whole business is unpleasant and most are ignorant of it or desensitized to it. “Factory Farm” was a popular buzzword a few years ago, when books like “Fast Food Nation” and films like “Food, Inc.” were horrifying the country. It seems as though much of the outrage has since been swept under the rug, but the terminology still holds true.

Our animals are no longer raised; our meat is produced.

Mass-produced. Now, I’m not the bleeding-heart type. My family raised chickens, ducks, turkeys, and many other animals. And we ate them. I understand that animals die for our dinner tables and that is a reality to me. But I fear that is not true of others. Even the terminology we use separates the animal from the finished product. Pigs become pork; cows become beef, steak, and chuck. The image of the living animals is erased. This is a problem, because it allows people to cease wondering where the meat comes from.

Our meat comes from factories, and the cost is higher than just pain to the animals (which is substantial). There are hu-

angie frisk

man and environmental costs. For example – the massive amounts of pig waste sprayed into the air creates spikes in human respiratory ailments. New bacterial strains develop thanks to the overuse of antibiotics in the animals. Swine flu?

Originated in factory farms.

As for the animals, it’s a worse story. In American slaughterhouses, cows are bled, dismembered, and skinned while conscious. Pigs are tortured before being slaughtered, and chickens are boiled alive. Most of these animals never see the sun or eat the food that their bodies evolved to eat. Thousands of animals are crammed into metal buildings, mutilated to better fit their environment, and fed hormones and antibiotics to spurn unnatural growth.

The Minnesota Daily recently ran a story about foam buildup on manure pits causing explosions that kill thousands of hogs. The article never questioned the idea of a “manure pit,” but imagine a lake made of pig excrement. Thousands upon thousands of pigs live in highly concentrated areas, so logically the shit has to go somewhere. It goes into “lagoons,” which cover as much as 120,000 square feet. They easily overflow and to alleviate swelling the muck is sprayed onto surrounding fields. The lagoons are so overpowering that many workers have died by choking to death on the fumes, falling in and drowning, or during attempted rescues of others. And now apparently the lagoons are generating an explosive methane-based foam.

Our animals are no longer raised; our meat is produced. Mass-produced.

Possibly the most insulting part of all of this is that these industrial farms are still considered agricultural, which means they receive government subsidies paid for with our tax dollars. The “farms” are also not regulated for size and pollution in the way that any other industrial plant would be, which leaves them free to expand and pollute without reprimand.

This is what has become normal in the world of meat production. It is disgusting, and alternatives exist.

When I was in high school, I worked for a local farm family at the farmer’s market. The Hubmers raised antibiotic free pork and free-range chicken. It was more expensive than the meat at the grocery store, but their clients loved personally knowing who was taking care of the meat and what was going into it. You can go visit their farm, if you like. It looks and smells like an animal farm should. This scenario should not be uncommon, but it is.

Unfortunately, I’m a broke college student. I understand not caring – and not caring enough. I have causes thrown in my face every time I walk through the mall and petitions waved at me every time I cross the Washington Avenue Bridge. But the food that we eat is more important than the candidates we support and next year’s homecoming theme. It is something that affects our bodies and our environment every day, and the current system will continue to get worse unless everyone (including broke college students) stop paying for cheap, processed, and poor-quality meat.

The costs of factory farm are more important than the stigma attached to vegan, vegetarian, and organic diets. What is wrong with having compassion for animals, people, and the environment? If you need more reasons, think of your own health. Look for alternatives to the meat you get at the grocery store. You deserve better, and so does everyone else.

www.wakemag.org

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voices

The Constitution: An Immortal Document

Why the Constitution will stand the test of time.

By Cooper Henckel The United States Constitution is one of the most important historical documents ever drafted. It was the first true experiment in democratic republics, now the most commonly utilized form of government in developed nations. It’s one of a kind – no other constitution is like it. Our system is entirely unique in its operation, even if other countries are themselves republics. The success of the United States Experiment can be attributed completely to this document, one which is often accused of being the source of anything from terrorism to misogyny. Claims that the document should be

The Constitution: Needs a Makeover

By Alicia Johnson

Why on earth would someone want to change the constitution? It is pretty simple. It is outdated and we need to keep up with the current times. The constitution has been around since September 17, 1787 and is a symbol for the United States and people’s rights and values. America is known for being the land of “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.” Because of this message we have been sending out for ages, people continue to come here from other countries seeking equality and a better life. In 1787, the U.S. was run by upper class white folks. And while many rich white men still are in charge, our government is becoming more and more diverse, the most obvious evidence being Obama as our president. Maybe those rules worked for the rich white men who wrote the constitution, but there is always room for improvement and it is hard to believe that something from 1787 is perfect and will never be changed. Do people truly believe that the constitution would stay the same forever even though everything imaginable is changing?

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abandoned in favor of a new constitution or that a massive rewrite needs to take place are not only fundamentally flawed, but border on insanity.

The Constitution was not assembled without thought. The Founding Fathers were not isolated thinkers. They actively participated in the salons of Enlightenment France, drawing from brilliant philosophers. The Founding Fathers used Locke, Rousseau, Montesquieu, and countless other enlightened philosophes to create the American Republic. They knew that what they had created must stand the test of time if democracy was to be validated. In the end, the document they signed was one that would stand as an immortal declaration of governance.

But why? Why does the Constitution deserve this praise?

Why is it that whenever someone wants to justify a moral declaration, they turn to that document? Because all modern understanding of democracy is derived from it. The Constitution as it exists demands equal rights for everyone, the right to vote, protection of property, it limits the powers of the President, and continues to grow and evolve. The document published by the Founding Fathers was at once a statement of their political world and one which could be used to understand future political worlds. The Constitution we have now is different than their Constitution. Their understanding of “We the People” is different than ours. They wanted that. The Constitution gives the power of amendment to the people (specifically the States) and creates a body of Justices whose entire purpose is to interpret the meaning of the Constitution

based on the political time in which questions are presented.

This document was started by old, dead, white men, but has been built on and added to by men and women of different color, creed, and thought since its signing.

Any problem with the Constitution comes not from the document itself, but from the public.

The American Constitution is an experiment in democracy.

It creates a republic through which power is validated by the public. The public defines who makes decisions for us. The public defines the meaning of words. The public adds to it through formal action (amendments) and informal action (public discourse and understanding). Any problem with the Constitution comes not from the document itself, but from the public. The American Constitution is a codified social contract.

Corporate influence, corrupt politicians, and low political efficacy aren’t inevitable products of an outdated constitution, but the byproducts of a lazy, compliant populous. The best way to change government isn’t to undo 250 years of writing, but to take up the pen and start writing for ourselves, to shape the next section of the Constitution how we see fit.

The Founding Fathers knew, in the end, that the document they signed was one which would stand as an immortal declaration of governance.

Some people who think changes should be made believe that the constitution was written vaguely and that it was done on purpose so as time goes on things can be changed or added to the document. One example is how the constitution states “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” Yes, we all know what this means because in school we were taught the ten amendments, but without knowing them this could be misinterpreted. Even the first sentence of the constitution can be unclear. “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” Every word means something different to everyone. This is a very vague statement and if the Supreme Court uses this document to decide if laws are “unjust” then shouldn’t everything have a clear universal meaning that everyone could understand?

tion was made and then a bunch of people got together and without a lot of thought and time made laws for the United States of America. It is pretty obvious that this was a completely different time in history. These men thought women were property and that slaves were a good thing. Today, thankfully, women and minorities are more equal to the rich and powerful men in charge of our country. Because the men in the 1700’s were rich and powerful, many of their motives were to make the laws benefit themselves and their families and they did not care about the less fortunate. Again, today is a different time when even though there are social and class differences among people, the government is trying to help those who need it. For that time period the constitution can be considered perfect. Even today, the values that the constitution have should not change, but need to be tweaked and updated to fit the current times. Obviously this document did a wonderful job of setting up our country and making us who we are today. But the facts cannot be denied that we are in a different society than back in the 1700s and such a powerful document should reflect the present, not the past.

But the facts cannot be denied that we are in a different society than back in the 1700s and such a powerful document should reflect the present, not the past.

We should embrace the changes that have occurred in our country. There were times that slavery was normal, children worked in cruel conditions, and diversity was not accepted.

The lovely United States of America has been through so much over the years by accepting more cultures and traditions and making people equal that we need to celebrate those changes by making one more big controversial change.

And that is to update the one and only constitution.

Let’s be honest. The group of men who wrote this document really had no idea what they were doing. America was declared a country just about two years before the constitu-

voices

Anonymous, But Not For Long

The rising efforts of the hacktivist group Anonymous

By Logan Wroge We are in a digital age with media, social spaces, market places, and a variety of amenities seconds away with the help of the Internet. And in our digital world, innovations are being developed faster than we could imagine. One of the most recent phenomena that has emerged from the Internet is the idea of hacktivism. When the art of hacking and the aspects of activism are combined, this fresh way of tackling issues arises. Anonymous is not just a clever synonym for hidden, but a worldwide hacktivist organization making a major splash in the digital pool of the Internet. Just like the history of every country though, Anonymous’ is riddled with regrettable acts alongside redeeming triumphs.

The hacktivist group is a worldwide organization that has been operating for years now. Their projects usually revolve around promoting social justice or the freedom of speech, but they are prone to turn their attention to other issues. In a recent example, Anonymous found out about a conference call being held between the FBI, Scotland Yard, and other foreign agencies, where they discussed possible ways of dealing with hackers, specifically Anonymous. In comical fashion, the group decided to record the conversation and plaster it on the Internet as if to say, “Your move.”

Most international companies and groups are composed with some type of structure. Anonymous, on the other hand, has approached its organization in a lax manner. Even with thousands of members, they don’t claim a president, vice president, or any common roles of superiority. With this setup, their attacks are orchestrated like so: one member proposes an idea, followed by general approval or denial by others, then, if accepted, the specifics of their plan are directed to those who want to participate. Global political governments think the contrary. They are confident that a small collection of leaders decide the actions that Anonymous takes and relays its decisions to the organization.

They implement practices that many find illegal and offensive, but these ‘criminals’ can swoop in to become a sort of cyber dark knight.

Last year, the world started to see the vast possibilities of hacktivism in action. The events of the Arab Spring demonstrated the power social media plays in protesting a corrupt government, but in Egypt, civilians were barred from accessing this vital pipeline of rebellion. In a humanitarian effort, members of Anonymous shaped a secret internet that facilitated Egyptian protesters in putting the word out. In April,

steve sitek

headlines were generated after members crashed the PlayStation Network, an online community where millions of people game against each other, for many days. The group was angered over a legal battle between one of their hackers and Sony. The result of their anger left many people in withdrawal from the lack of online gaming. More recently, Anonymous has gained attention from their anti-SOPA and PIPA attacks on websites of the supporters of the bills.

It is only lately that Anonymous has been brought into the light, but their roots stretch back for years. A lot of members honed their skills with simple pranks or lone hacks in the early 2000s. Imageboards, websites where users post pictures and comment on them, fostered the formation of Anonymous.

Posters bonded over hacking, love for free speech, and hate for crooked governments. The popular imageboard website 4chan even allowed users to add pictures under the name “Anonymous”. These factors developed the worldwide group that exists today, but what are the consequences of their actions?

Activism, at its most basic level, is an empowering concept, where the general population bands together to fight corruption, greed, and repression. It’s simply evolution for activism to find its way into the digital world, but what happens if this new frontier is abused? This fear of the nameless and faceless with immense power is what has multiple governments in a panic over what they view as cyber terrorism. In the attack on the PlayStation Network, reports surfaced of hackers stealing private information: names, passwords, credit card information, etc. Many people believed Anonymous members were responsible for this theft. The group claims it was independent hackers taking advantage of the downed network. Either way, Anonymous had caused harm to the financial situation and security of many. People were afraid of identity theft and condoned Anonymous’ actions. I was just glad my debit card information wasn’t on my PlayStation account. I did not want my hard earned sandwich artist money stolen.

This wasn’t the only negative attack executed by Anonymous. In 2009, a teenager, who had ran a website called No Cussing Club, was their target. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for cussing and free speech (I mean, you’re reading the “What the Fuck” edition. If that doesn’t say something about how fortunate we are to have our freedoms, then I guess next

issue will need a more obscene theme), but the teenager’s private information was posted on the Internet causing him to receive hate mail, prank calls, and falsified pizza orders.

There is no social justice in allowing someone to be harassed for expressing their views on cursing just as we should not be condemned for plastering the word “fuck” right on our cover. It is our right to speak freely, and Anonymous attacked someone whose speech was perfectly fine but did not adhere to what they believe in. They are an organization that fights repression and ended up being the repressor in this case. But every aspect in life can be presented in two different views, light vs. dark, ketchup vs. mustard, Minnesota vs. Wisconsin, good Anonymous vs. bad Anonymous.

But every aspect in life can be presented in two different views, light vs. dark, ketchup vs. mustard, Minnesota vs. Wisconsin, good Anonymous vs. bad Anonymous.

While examples such as these do exist in which people were affected adversely, millions of others have praised the work Anonymous does. The hacktivists implement practices that many find illegal and offensive, but these ‘criminals’ can swoop in to become a sort of cyber dark knight. Take for example the campaign that Anonymous has begun less than a month ago. Operation Blitzkrieg is an attempt to shut down neo-Nazi websites and expose those who cover the Internet with hate-filled speech behind their own masks of anonymity.

Courageous crusades such as this can help to redeem Anonymous for previous wrong-doings. Other years have seen the capture of pedophiles in large part to the work that the organization does at finding these creeps and bringing them to justice. Anonymous can act as our “Digital Batman,” fighting the indecent villains that plague our Internet.

The world is not played out in melodramatic style where the bad guys wear black hats and the good guys wear white ones.

Gray areas consume our lives and shape our views. The hacktivist group Anonymous performs illegal acts and may have unsavory results, but the majority of time they’re battling for social change and justice. The members of Anonymous might still be hiding behind their masks of cyberspace, but the name and reputation of the organization is no longer hidden.

We are in an age of technological and social revolution, and it seems as if Anonymous is heading the charge as they shout their motto, “We are Anonymous. We are Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.”

www.wakemag.org

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cities

Minnesnowta no more?

By Amanda Abell

This winter is putting the “Minnesnowta” name to shambles. Whether you’re a true Minnesotan or not, you could easily pick up on the fact that this winter is completely out of the ordinary. With little to no snow in December, and scarce mix of snow flurries and rain in January and February, people can’t help but wonder what is going on.

Most are thanking global warming for this incredibly mild winter, but should everyone really be thankful?

Minnesota is not the only place that is experiencing temperatures out of the ordinary for this time of year.

While Minnesota rang in the new year of 2012 with recordbreaking highs, the following week broke even more records. 63 degrees Fahrenheit in the middle of January is unheard of in the land of ten thousand lakes. In a normal January, Minnesota is generally more accustomed to wind chills closer to negative 63 versus any temperatures above zero in the dead of winter.

Snowfall is another winter factor that seems to have been eliminated this year. With the largest snowstorm Minnesota has seen since the Halloween snowstorm of 1991 taking place December 2010, it is doubtful that any Minnesotan would have predicted the entire winter of 2012 would bring less snow combined than that storm alone. The December 10-11 blizzard of 2010 deposited about 17 inches of snow in Minneapolis, according to the University of Minnesota Climate website, and thus far in the winter of 2012 Minneapolis has accumulated a total of 15 inches. Meanwhile, the average snowfall for this time of year is 35 inches as recorded by the Climate Stations website. According to the National Weather Service, less than four percent of the upper Midwest is currently covered by snow.

It is challenging to provide an answer to what is happening with our climate right now because it is hard to decipher between the natural temperature fluctuations and global warming. This makes it difficult to separate long-term climate change from the two, given the notorious variability of local weather and climate from day to day and year to year. As the patterns begin to produce more and more outliersm it is easy to point fingers at human-made climate changes like greenhouse gas emissions. According to the Polar Bears International website, scientists agree the Earth is warming, but the debate remains around which factor is the ultimate cause.

When looking at temperature trends, the highs and lows generally balance out. However, now there are three record highs for every record low. Not to mention the fact that the United States has set 640 record high temperatures in 2012 already, as recorded by the Capital Climate website.

With hundreds of new highs set over the past two months, it is evident that Minnesota is not the only place that is experiencing temperatures out of the ordinary for this time of

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habakkuk stockstill

year. The epidemic is affecting not only America, but other parts of the world as well. While Minnesotans fear a drought this spring, other parts of the world, like the Arctic, are facing a frightening future.

Australian Bureau of Meteorology include increased intensity of cyclones, an overall increase in the intensity of extreme weather events, and sea-level rise, which threatens coastal regions and cities in Australia.

According to the Polar Bears International website, the Arctic is experiencing its warmest air temperatures in four centuries. Scientists believe the increasing temperatures are due to human activity, which have caused the Arctic to lose an area of sea ice equivalent to the size of Alaska, Texas, and Washington combined. This area is only continuing to grow, and will soon result in the extinction of polar bears if it is not taken care of because today’s polar bears are facing rapid loss of the arctic sea ice where they hunt, breed, and, in some cases, den. If the polar bears are forced to relocate, or, in worst-case scenario, die off, changes in their distribution or numbers will affect the entire Arctic ecosystem. However, some scientists believe that there is still time to save polar bears and the Arctic if we significantly reduce greenhouse emissions within the next few years. Even with active changes, it will take 30 to 40 years for changes reversing the warming trend to show.

The weather issue is even finding its way to the White House.

According to ThinkProgess Green website, this year was the most anti-environmental session for the House of Representatives. Under the Bush Administration, EPA had the authority to regulate greenhouse gases as a pollutant under the Clean Air Act. Now the GOP wants to eliminate the EPA regulation of greenhouse gases for large emitters. Scientists have warned that the United States needs to rapidly reduce its carbon pollution no later than 2015 for human civilization to have a reasonable shot at maintaining a safe climate, based on the best available science.

The United States has set 640 record high temperatures in 2012 already.

Other places experiencing abnormal weather include Southeast Georgia and South Carolina, where they are now experiencing an extreme drought. A two-year drought in Northern and central Mexico continues as farmers and communities suffer. Worst of all, if the globe keeps warming and the seas keep rising, the country of Palau, located in the Pacific Ocean near Asia, could be wiped off the map, according to ThinkProgress Green website. Climate change projections from the

It is clear that the climate problem is much bigger than snowless Minnesota winters. The climate changes have worldwide repercussions that are putting many resources, animals, and people in danger. The challenge of creating a solution is now in the hands of the people. According to Polar Bears International website, scientists believe that there is still time to do something about the climate change.

If people do not reduce their emissions, the planet will be in danger from rising sea levels to extremes in weather conditions that will affect crops and water.

While there is still a chance that this crazy weather is part of a weather cycle, it doesn’t hurt to reduce America’s carbon footprint just in case. Lets be honest, no one wants Minnesota to lose its notorious winters. As Leeann Myers from Polar Bears International said, “Conserving energy and finding new energy sources are good insurance policies for the health of the planet.”

cities

You’re Being Robbed Scam Artists On Campus

By Alex Lauer Situation: You’re sitting in Coffman Memorial Union on a Saturday, minding your own business and trying to get some serious studying hammered out before you go to work or before you go out that night. Unfortunately, someone walks up and starts talking to you.

“Excuse me, sir, we’re trying to raise money for our basketball team,” says a high school aged guy holding a laminated sheet with info about his situation. You look around and see at least six other high school guys pestering other U students about giving donations. “Our school cut our funding and we don’t have the money to go to the playoffs,” he continues.

“Yeah, ok,” you say. You reach into your wallet and pull out a couple dollars to give to the kid.

“Thank you, sir,” he says and walks away, not to the girl studying next to you, but far away. The rest of that day you feel great about donating to a good, local cause.

Well, YOU WERE JUST ROBBED. Yes, these “basketball team” scammers are real, on campus, and out to make suckers out of us U of M students. They are

not going to the playoffs, their basketball team isn’t real, and they have laminated sheets with fake information on it.

They’re not just on campus either. A couple nights ago I saw some more of them outside Espresso Royale. An older woman saw them too and started yelling at them, scaring them away from some helpless students, “I know what you’re doing!

You’re stealing! This is all fake! You shouldn’t be here!”

I’m writing this article because I feel so bad when I see these gullible U students giving their hard-earned money away that could be going toward tuition, food, books, etc. Ok, some students don’t make “hard-earned money,” but a lot do.

Then it becomes a question of: how do I tell a scammer from a person who is truthfully asking for donations? You don’t—at least not on the spot. And this doesn’t apply to these basketball scammers either; if anyone asks for a donation for their church, their school, or any cause—be wary. The only way you can be sure your money is going to a good cause is to take down the information that the person either tells you or has written on some sheet, then go look it up, call the school, find the charity online, etc. Most of the time a person on the other line is going to tell you, “That team doesn’t exist.”

What the Fuck is Going On With These Kids?

What to say if one of these guys comes up to you:

1

“Fuck off.”

2

“THESE GUYS ARE TRYING TO SCAM YOU, DON’T GIVE THEM ANY MONEY. THIS IS FAKE.” [yelling to everyone in your general area]

3

“I know what you’re trying to do, why don’t you go get a job instead of trying to steal our money.”

4

“Yeah sure, let me just write down the information about your basketball team, where you go to school, your coach, and all that, then I’ll make sure it’s real and get back to you.”

In early January, parents and teachers discovered via Facebook that nearly two-dozen 5th graders at a Minnesota elementary school invented a new game at recess: rape tag. Rape tag is similar to the well known “freeze tag,” but instead of innocently tagging the person, they have to hump each other to be unfrozen. The children were posting statuses referring to the game when teachers and parents found the posts. Why are teachers befriending their students? And why do these ten-yearolds have Facebook accounts? rachel mosey

By Ashley Herink

October of 2009 in the UK, an eight-year-old girl, an eleven-year-old boy, and a ten-year-old boy’s play date ended in two rape charges. The three were playing and the girl pulled her pants down, and the boys followed her behavior by pulling down theirs. The mother of the little girl walked in, and the little girl lied to her mother saying the boys were raping her. The boys were brought to court and denied two charges of rape and two charges of attempted rape of a child under 13. Later in court, the girl admitted that she lied about the boys raping her. She lied to her mother because she knew that was “naughty” and was worried she would have not have gotten any sweets. The rape charges were dropped, but the boys still faced attempted rape charges. The boys were found guilty August of 2010, but were spared custody after the judge ruled that they did not realize the severity of their actions, and are almost half way through their three year supervision sentence.

What we’ve learned: Don’t give any solicitor your money. I know a lot of us have the inherent Minnesota Niceness, but that shouldn’t apply to thieves.

Earlier this month, a nine-year-old in Winona, MN was suspended from school after mimicking Michael Jackson’s groin grab dance move at Catholic Elementary fundraiser. He had seen many MJ music videos, and was dancing and quietly singing when he mimicked the move. The little boy, Lennie, has made news all over the world starting in Minnesota then from Los Angeles to Australia. I hope it doesn’t get back to the Pope.

Last November in Wisconsin, a six-year-old boy and his five-year-old sister invited another six-year-old boy to come over and play. After about an hour of playing with the door closed, the father of the brother and sister, who is a well-known figure in the community, walked in to the three children touching each other playing “butt doctor.” The father sued the other little boy with firstdegree sexual assault (but he did not do anything to his own son, who was also touching his sister). If the little boy were to be convicted, he would be considered a registered pedophile once he turned 18. The charges were dropped because he was declared too young to be considered a juvenile delinquent.

www.wakemag.org

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feature

Minneapolis Visionaries Series:

HAL LOVEMELT

By Alex Lauer

If you’re active in the Minneapolis party scene, you already know what Playatta is and chances are you know who Hal and Kara Lovemelt are. If you don’t know them and think you go out a lot—you’re going to the wrong places. The Lovemelts are changing the club world forever with their “Digital Video Playgrounds.” More than that, they’re infusing Minneapolis and, soon, the world with something we’ve been neglecting for a long time—play.

“We had a bar mitzvah...and they went NUTS! Crazy! They would not get out of there and they were doing gang signs and sexual...things.”

The Wake: For those who maybe don’t know you or Playatta, can you just explain what Playatta is and what you do.

Hal Lovemelt: Well, my name is Hal Lovemelt, and Playatta is run by me and my lovely wife [Kara Lovemelt] with our partner “Papa” Matt Visionquest who is becoming known for his .gifs in the .gif world on tumblr. Playatta does what we call “interactive video playgrounds.” We make them so that they can be psychologically enticing for people and guests. We play a lot with video but lately photos have been very popular.

I don’t know, this isn’t a very inspired answer.

W: That’s ok, we’ll get into inspired answers. Just the basics is good for right now.

H: Ok, well we’re an Art and Design company.

hal lovemelt

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21 february – 06 march 2012

The Beginning W: Most of the people on campus and people my age know you and the company from dance nights like Recess and Menergy, but did you start doing these digital playgrounds for that kind of dance/club environment or how did these come about?

H: It started for clubs and for nightlife. That was the original thing. A lot of it was inspired from the art form and the art of video at Freaky Deeky. So Freaky Deeky is the crazy psychedelic, live call-in show on MTN. If you’re living in Minneapolis and you have basic cable you can get us every other Sunday night, actually it’s on every Sunday but it’s LIVE every other Sunday night.

W: Did you originally start with Freaky Deeky and Playatta came out of that?

H: Well I was invited to come play on Freaky Deeky by Hamil who produces it, Hamil Griffin-Cassidy, and then I was inspired by it and started developing more and more technology around it. The obvious next thing was to bring it into clubs.

And then we built the portal. The portal is kind of the launching pad for everything and that’s the booth that you definitely know about.

The Magic Of The Booth W: And so if someone goes out to a dance night that you’re at, what is the booth experience? For kids who don’t know about the booth.

H: Ok! The booth is this—imagine a photo booth, but with video. On the front of it there’s a giant TV and you get inside and you can see yourself manipulated live with live video processing through software and hardware that is just completely insane, wrapped around certain art. We like to theme so that the art is different, and that’s where we come in as designers and artists. We create new playgrounds, which are compositions, almost for every gig. We’ve been developing this huge array of different art that people can jump into but it’s a composition that’s changing because the main focus is the person inside.

W: Yeah, how does that work? Because I remember one time, maybe the first time, I was in one of those booths I remember you talking—do you have a mic in there? Can you talk to the people in the booth?

H: Oh yeah, that’s another feature. There’s a speaker in there and people from outside have a wireless mic. We don’t let it out at the bigger parties because it gets lost, but yeah - you can talk and direct people which is another big part of it. I mean, dance nights and the U of M people and the Varsity Theater and our fan base know what to do in the portal, but it’s also important to embrace and try and figure out what it would take to get people who aren’t usually comfortable, you know? Like the kind of people that always have the same expression on their face when you take a picture of them? They need direction in the portal to even have fun, so some direction is always important and that’s where we’re moving toward is becoming kind of party starters and kick starters for people’s kind of freak-style—bringing out their freak.

Playatta Storeez W: You started at these clubs and dance nights where people are already going to be into this stuff, but you’ve also done a lot of corporate events, or different events, where people are like that - where they’re more reserved. So what are some of these events that you’ve done and what has been the experience bringing your craziness into that environment.

H: Ok, I’ll just tell you a couple stories. If a kid starts having fun in the portal, unfortunately what happens sometimes is it’s psychologically branded in the party by group mentality as a kids thing. It becomes the kids thing for the rest of the night, unfortunately, but sometimes it doesn’t. If it’s a family event, that’s better. When it’s a kid’s events, it’s hard to get adults in there. You know, we don’t try and force people to have fun. I mean, that’s why we started doing those photos— what we call “photanimation”—because everyone can pose for a photo, it’s easier for them, video is more intimidating, much more intimidating. Another experience we had was an 8th grade graduation party.

feature “Where we’re moving toward is becoming kind of party starters and kick starters for people’s kind of freakstyle—bringing out their freak.”

W: No way. Best 8th grade graduation party ever.

H: Yeah, but you’d be surprised! It might be the demographic of the kids or it might be their sugar-level or whatever, but they were scared of the portal. It was hard to get them in the booth. But then! We had a bar mitzvah—same age-group— and they went NUTS! Crazy! They would not get out of there and they were doing gang signs and sexual...things.

W: At a bar mitzvah??

H: Yeah, I think that was because they’re more comfortable with each other, they’re friends. At the 8th grade graduation party you know it’s like all the clicks and all the social pressure.

Eating & Drinking & Breathing & Playing

The Portal x 1,000,000 W: You mentioned that your plan is to get out of here, so what are your future plans for Playatta?

H: I’m not sure...ok, I’m just going to give you the simple secret. Because we’ve got some big plans and I don’t know if we should let everyone know about it...

W: Yeah, definitely, just share as much as you’re comfortable sharing.

H: We are building a new portal—like this portal times a million—and then we’re going to go and try to sell it to other event people or club owners so they can own their own, and all the while we will be developing our own network of artists that they can subscribe to and get new art and new compositions for their portals and their photo stations.

W: So it’s all official.

H: It’s on my license.

W: And on your passport? So when you go to different countries people will be like, “Oh good, we got the Lovemelts coming in.”

H: Exactly! They’ll say just that: “Oh good, we got the Lovemelts coming in to brighten up our country’s sunshine.”

“It is pretty exciting. I mean, I can’t sleep.

I kind of obsess about it. But I think it’s a good thing—to obsess about it.”

W: Geez.

W: On your “mission statement” on Playatta.com you talk about how playing is just as essential as breathing and drinking and eating. Why do you feel so strongly about “play” and our need for it. Just because a lot of people would definitely not agree with that. It’s seen as more of a kids’ thing rather than an everybody thing.

H: So it could go national, or international.

H: Exactly, that’s the biggest problem, because it is a necessity. People need their brains just like it needs meditation and activity to grow, you need to be creative, and that’s what play is. Play brings out creativity. I feel like, if you have a deficiency of play, you are much less healthy. It’s underrated! Because adults have been...the adults forever. And then Nintendo releases the Wii and starts marketing it to moms and it works!

You know what I mean? Play is coming back into popular culture. I mean, moms will always play with their kids, but moms need to play with other moms too.

H: Yeah, definitely we’ll be debuting it in this city. Probably with a big party. Yeah, a HUGE party.

W: Yeah, I’m totally going to take that quote out of context— just so you know.

W: Exciting. I’m freaking out. I can’t wait.

W: We’re getting the inside scoop before you blow up.

H: I hope so. That’s the plan!

W: So is this something you’re planning on debuting in Minneapolis?

W: Do you have a timeline on this?

H: Sometime in the summer it will be operational.

W: I love that. “It will be operational.” That sounds like the Delorean or the Death Star or something.

H: Yeah. I mean, it won’t be totally finished, but it will be mind-blowing, I’ll tell you that much.

H: Oh, please do. “Moms should play with each other.”

H: It is pretty exciting. I mean, I can’t sleep. I kind of obsess about it. But I think it’s a good thing—to obsess about it.

On Minneapolis

Who are The Lovemelts?

W: What do you like about the Minneapolis community?

Because I feel like what you’re doing right now with Playatta could really do well in other more dense cities like New York or LA or Chicago or something like that. So why stay in Minneapolis?

W: That’s pretty much all I have, except I just want to talk a little bit about “The Lovemelts.”

H: Minneapolis is great. I fell back in love with Minneapolis after hating it for a while. I don’t have many experiences with big, dense cities, but our plan isn’t to stay here. The plan is to eventually move. But one thing about Minneapolis is here, it is smaller so you can develop - and everyone knows each other in a certain way so there is a certain amount of dignity that people have because they look after their social situation. You can develop deeper, more meaningful relationships in a city like this.

“Lovemelt” actually came from a password. Kara had written a password down on a piece of paper, and we were trying to pick out a last name. I saw it, and it was an old password that she had written down, and I’m like, “That’s it. That’s it!” And we did it.

H: Yeah!

W: Ok, best last name ever, but where did that come from?

Where did you two meet? Where did this love-melt begin? Tell us a little bit about that.

H: Well, we also have a website if you want to check that out TheLovemelts.com.

W: Nu-uh. I’m checking it out.

H: We have a beautiful love story, of course. The name thing is just something that we wanted to...we wanted something exciting, something fresh, something to spark some intense partnership. I mean, we are incredibly in love, so it’s only fitting.

Want to work with Playatta?

From Hal: We are having an open call for visual artists to sign to our visual label. Still and motion art can be manipulated. Foregrounds, backgrounds, texture, movement, digital or organic— all mediums and styles are of interest. If you are interested but not sure it will fit with Playatta, we can coach you in the right direction.

Interested? Contact hal@playatta.com with your concept and portfolio.

Want to check out Playatta Live?

Playatta is in upgrade mode in the studio, but is working on a theater/multimedia wedding extravaganza on 4/20 at the Varsity Theater which will be open to the public.

Check them out on Facebook and stay tuned for a new multi-discipline art dance party debuting at the Varsity this summer.

www.wakemag.org

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held the title at least once in each division. With all the accolades he has garnered, Pacquaio has been awarded the title as the pound for pound champion of the world. Although one man, whom he has never fought, thinks otherwise.

Floyd Joy Mayweather, Jr., 34, certainly disagrees when he hears people around the world say that Manny is the best.

Born and raised in Grand Rapids, Michigan, Floyd was born into a family of boxers. Since becoming a professional boxer like his father and uncles, Floyd “Pretty Boy” Mayweather always wanted to be the best in the business and he certainly has a point as to why he could be. Mayweather’s professional boxing record as of today is 42 wins, with over half of those as knock outs, and an astonishing 0 loses. If you would do the math, Pacquaio has 3 loses in his entire boxing career and Mayweather has none. This stat is what Mayweather shows when the media talks about who is truly the best pound for pound boxer in the world. Mayweather, just like Manny, has held the same championships in multiple weight divisions.

Currently, Manny is the World Boxing Organization (WBO) Welterweight Champion and, on the other side, Floyd is the World Boxing Council (WBC) Welterweight Champion. However, not all of the sports networks and websites agree on who is the best. All of this “who is the best boxer?” debate can only be stopped in one way.

Section 2: Controversy and Debates

Alex lauer

Mayweather VS Pacquaio – The Fight Everyone Wants

BY Theon Kynedy

In a sports community that has drifted to the world of mixed martial arts, there are two men keeping the boxing world alive. Both men come from very distinct cultural backgrounds, with even more distinct personalities. One man hails from the United States and the other from the Philippines, and they are hopefully going to come together on May 5 to give people what they want: the fight.

On December 21, 2011, ESPN reported, “Mayweather pleaded guilty Dec. 21 to a reduced battery domestic violence charge and no contest to two harassment charges as part of a plea deal that saw prosecutors drop felony and misdemeanor charges that could have gotten him 34 years in prison.” Mayweather has been sentenced to 3 months in prison which would prevent a possibility for a Pacquiao-Mayweather bout in May, since boxers regularly train 3 months before a fight happens. Luckily, as reported by ESPN a month ago, Mayweather’s jail sentence has been moved due to multiple questionable reasons, including a reason that if the fight will happen, about 100 million dollars can be injected into the ever-so-slumping economy of Las Vegas.

After knowing that his jail time has been pushed, Mayweather quickly called out Manny Pacquiao on Twitter, by calling

Pacquiao a punk. After years of rejecting a fight since Manny wouldn’t take a drug test that Mayweather wants, Pacquaio has accepted the offer without a report of a demanded drug test from Floyd. Everyone from sport fans to Manny’s trainer and former professional boxer Freddie Roach wants this fight to happen on May 5.

Unfortunately, this was all for nothing. Michigan Live reported on January 13 that Top Rank president Bob Arum, Pacquiao’s promoter, has listed a few reasons why the fight can’t happen May 5. First, it started with a cut Pacquiao suffered against Juan Manuel Marquez in November. Then, it’s the notion the MGM Grand was too small for the fight and a 40,000seat temporary arena needed to be built on the Las Vegas strip to maximize revenue.

Section 3: PREDICTION IF A FIGHT SHOULD HAPPEN With all of this chaos the best thing to do is just to wait for the final say. This year is possibly the last chance for a PacquaioMayweather fight since Manny may soon retire and Mayweather might retire as well. We might end up with Manny facing another opponent (Timothy Bradley?) in June.

These two very distinct men share the same goal of becoming the undisputed pound for pound champion of the world.

Pacquaio, who trains by drinking his own urine, although has stated he doesn’t do so anymore, will certainly train hard as always if this fight should ever occur. Mayweather without a doubt, with all his arrogance and confidence, will also train hard and set his mind to try and dethrone the pound for pound champion.

If this fight should ever take place, I truly believe that Mayweather would win this battle, even though I’m Filipino. Pacquaio may have been winning the past years but I feel that his last fight with Marquez showed that Pacquaio is not his same old self and it would be further exposed if he faces the more quick and agile Mayweather. Of course, all of these are predictions and there is only one way to solve this just like everyone else’s debates on which of the two is the best. Let them fight in a boxing ring! I don’t care where and when, just as long as I see Floyd Mayweather versus Manny Pacquaio. We all want it, it’s been anticipated well enough, let’s go!

Section 1: Background Emmanuel Pacquiao, more commonly known as Manny “PacMan” Pacquiao, is the sole fighting pride of the Philippines today. Manny, now 33 years of age, was raised in his hometown of General Santos City, Philippines but soon moved to the capital city of Manila where he started his boxing career. As a professional boxer, Pacquiao has a record of 59 wins, including 38 knock outs, and only 3 loses and 2 draws. Aside from boxing, in 2010, Pacquiao gained media attention by being elected to the Philippine Congress. Politically speaking and as a Filipino myself, Manny’s success in the ring doesn’t reflect on his position as a congressman. Throughout his boxing career, Manny has gained success in the different weight divisions in boxing such as welterweight, super featherweight, lightweight, and super welterweight, to which he has won and Rachel Mosey

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Yes to Lingerie Football Women Are Just as Tough as Men, If Not Tougher

By Theon Kyne Dy The first time I heard about Lingerie Football I was literally like “WTF?!” I never knew that such a sport existed. I knew football existed and I knew females even played football, but I never knew there was a professional league, like the NFL, where women wear lingerie and play football. Ladies, but mostly gentlemen, I introduce to you the Lingerie Football League.

It was created by a dude whose thought process probably went a little something like, “wouldn’t it be super hot to watch some chicks try and play football in their panties?”

It seems to me that I just found the holy grail of sports for all male sports fans. To all the guys watching men play basketball or hockey, why don’t we show our manhood by sometimes entertaining ourselves by watching fine women, wearing some very tight and hot lingerie, play football on the field?

Yes women, always say that guys watch too many sports, but this one is something else. Sorry to all women who complain their partner watches sports too much, but men have suddenly found one thing that contains two of the best things a guy loves: sports and hot women. It’s just a match made in heaven for the guys.

Aside from all those positives for men, this sport doesn’t only showcase the hot bodies of the women on the field, but also it shows that women can indeed play football. Although, it’s female versus female, it still is good for showcasing the strength of women and disproves how guys think that women can’t play sports or get down and dirty.

Trust me, these women in the LFL are nothing less than dirty and I don’t mean it in a kinky way. These women play 7 on 7 football and they play defense and offense one way only: tough. These women are not only sexy, but they are also downright strong and tough. Don’t worry guys, these women are not body builders. These hot women are your average and sometimes above average women you see on a regular basis, either in your location or sometimes on the Internet. Yes, you know what I mean.

Although women might still disagree that this sport is just disgracing women by making them showcase their assets, however, women can also enjoy this sport as much as the guys. If guys and girls can watch guys play football then guys and girls could also watch women play football. Yes, they’re wearing lingerie, but the fun of watching football is still present. Sooner or later guys who watch this sport will soon get bored of watching LFL because of the hot bodies, but soon they’ll watch LFL mainly because they’re playing a sport they love, football.

Certainly this newly discovered sport is going to start entertaining guys who love football and hot women. Well, you don’t necessarily have to love football. It’s just a great thing to watch, so invite your wife/girlfriend over and sit back and watch some LFL. Just kidding, don’t do that, watch it secretly at first then slowly introduce it to your partner guys. Have fun and enjoy this tantalizing sport.

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Down With Lingerie Football Butt Cleavage Has No Place in Professional Women’s Sports

By Maggie Foucault Honestly, I couldn’t care less about sports. I grew up in a household where sports were watched twice a year: college basketball playoffs and the week of the World Series. No one in my immediate family participated in team sports; even soccer was out of the question. It’s not that my family doesn’t think that girls should play sports, my brother and I are both equally not athletic. So it takes a lot to get my attention when it comes to sports. Unfortunately, the Lingerie Football League is one of the “sports” that has caught my attention this year. Not only is the LFL a major setback for women who want to play professional football, it is a major setback for women in general. The LFL continues and expands the grand tradition of objectifiying women for the pleasure of others.

The LFL was created in 2009 by Mitch Mortaza. For me, this is the first red flag; this league was not created by women for women. Rather, it was created by a dude whose thought process probably went a little something like, “wouldn’t it be super hot to watch some chicks try and play football in their panties?” From the league’s official website, “The Lingerie Football League has become the Ul-

timate Fan-Driven, Live Sports Phenomenon - Blending Action, Impact and Beauty.” This is also what webcams and hardcore porn offer: the viewing of women’s scanitly-clad bodies for the audiences (men’s) pleasure. Also worth noting is the fact that women do not have many other opportunities to play football, professionally or not. High school girls who want to play football have to sue their school with Title IX violations in order to be let on the team, and no professional Women’s Football League exists. Women’s sports should not have to exist only when they are attractive to men. Sadly, this is not limited to the LFL; last year the Badminton World Federation announced that they would be requiring female players to wear skirts in an effort to create more interest in the sport.

One of the main retorts about the skimpy outfits is that they are not much more revealing than what Track and Field athletes compete in. However, a sprinter actually sees benefits from their lack of clothing, like less wind resistance, and male sprinters wear just as little. Conversely, NFL players are fully clothed, whereas the LFL players are not allowed to cover their arms and legs. Besides the obvious objectification, there are safety issues posed by this requirement. The players still wear cleats, which clothing would at least offer some protection against. Not only are players required to have their own health insurance, but they are also no longer played as it is considered an amateur sport. I fail to see how any of this empowers or benefits women.

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What the F is up with that Ugly Elephant?

By Valerie Lund Elephants are a symbol of wisdom in Asian cultures and are famous for their memory and intelligence… so why in the F was this elephant so deceitful to me? It came too dangerously close to stopping me from grabbing a Marg and grazing on some delicious authentic Thai food at Sawatdee. It’s located just outside downtown St. Paul by the Black Sheep. The owners completely renovated the entire restaurant and now it’s hip and spacious and definitely worth checking out. There are parking meters by the restaurant and they’re free on Sundays. You’ve probably seen an ad for Sawatdee in the Gopher Guide but you should hit up the restaurant in-person because they have cute artwork and good music, and best of all a modern dual-bar and friendly servers.

I had the Appetizer Platter for 2 costing $5.25 including cream cheese wontons, spring rolls, and chicken satay; the satay and spring rolls were very delicious. You can also make anything super hottt with the sauces they have, just ask them! I also tried the new pot-stickers and a mango/strawberry blended margarita which was a little sweet but still enjoyable. Go during happy hour which is 4-6pm every day and they have cheap apps for around $3, $3 tap beer, and $5 margaritas. It was the first ever authentic Thai restaurant in the Twin Cities and voted Best Thai place for 2011 so google it up it’s worth the trip…

From One Ukulele to a String Orchestra: a Musical Metamorphosis

By Elizabeth Mann Late in January of this year, Ingrid Michaelson released her fifth album, Human Again. Although it is getting raving reviews and sold out concerts, her die-hard fans will find that it sounds a lot different than her previous four CDs. Those who liked the acoustic, ukulele tunes may be disappointed with the new songs, which are a little more “pop-y.” They are noticeably more instrumental and produced, giving them a more polished feel. However, new songs like “How We Love” and “This War” are reminiscent of the Michaelson’s older music.

The lyrics, while still deeply perceptive and emotional, are perhaps darker and sadder, as the singer explores the depths of heartbreak and love lost. Ingrid herself sums it up best in an interview she gave last year, “[This record] is fiercer and not as childlike. Not to dis my old work, but I feel like I’ve done the whole barefoot singer-songwriter thing.”

In November, the Staten Island native released a preview song off the album called “Ghost,” Human Again’s hit single. The song is haunting and wistful, containing sonorous string and rich piano melodies. This is telling of many of the other songs on the album that also incorporate more string instruments than before.

Despite great artistic changes, Human Again is still very much Ingrid Michaelson, with her trademark stick–in–your –head melodies and lyrics that sum up feelings and circumstances perfectly. Although the album differs greatly from her earlier work, it shows a new, mature, and equally beautiful side of the artist’s talent.

The Woman in Black Jane Campbell Some of you may still be sobbing over your Gryffindor scarves at night, lamenting the end of Harry Potter, but we all knew that Daniel Radcliffe would have to put away the wand eventually. His first “muggle” role comes as young lawyer Arthur Kipps in the British horror remake of The Woman in Black, based on the 1983 novel of the same name. In early 1900s England, Arthur struggles to stay afloat as a recently widowed single father until he is given a critical assignment to handle the estate of an old mansion. During Arthur’s time at the old house, he has multiple encounters with a shadowy figure of a ghostly woman dressed in black. As Arthur sifts through all the remnants of information left at the Eel Marsh house, he slowly begins to understand the woman’s ghastly reign of terror over the nearby town.

The suspense in this film is the key scare element, in scenes such as Radcliffe slowly walking down a long dark hallway to find a rocking chair creaking up a storm of noise all on it’s own. The most frightening experiences with The Woman in Black are built up until the latter portion of the film, and contain a most blood-curdling shriek. The use of creepy old-fashioned children’s toys (think clowns and monkeys banging cymbals together) add to the mansion’s overall eeriness, and play into The Woman in Black’s ability to instill demonic behavior in children. In general, this film provides some decent scares, although the story isn’t always played out clearly. For Daniel Radcliffe, he seems to succeed in moving on from Harry Potter to more adult roles, although it could just be the sideburns he’s sporting. Just try not to be that person who yells out, “Use your wand, Harry!” when he’s up against the terrors of The Woman in Black.

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Don’t Call It a Restaurant!

The Unconventional Dining Experience of Clandesdine

By Justin Miller Once a month, Eli and Ella welcome over fifty random people into a humble college house in the Marcy-Holmes neighborhood for food and drinks. No, they aren’t those people your mother always warned you about who slip roofies into the chicken noodle soup. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. If you can manage to get on the dining list for Clandesdine, you will be receiving an extravagant four course meal prepared by an up-and-coming Minneapolis chef. But let’s not kid ourselves. This is no ordinary dining experience and that becomes apparent the moment you arrive at the location of this monthly supper club.

Walking through the quiet college neighborhood, the place looks like any other rental in Minneapolis. But once a month,

daniel murphy

the upper level of the duplex undergoes a transformation from college residence to fine dining establishment in a matter of a day or two. Eli and Ella are the brain children behind Clandesdine and it has become something of a daily obsession in their lives. Whether it’s enthusiastically pitching their concept at the bar to anyone with a willing ear or texting each other about tablecloths on sale at Target, it is safe to say these two are fully committed to making their alternative dining platform work. The dynamic duo keeps the gears of Clandesdine turning, but their labor is done outside of the kitchen and usually behind-the-scenes. They are constantly working to ensure that all their minuscule details and grandiose plans end in results. They try to coordinate everyone, a core group of about 15 friends that are volunteering their time. No easy task, this includes overseeing the different artists decorating the dining room each month, making sure enough servers are available, and hand picking the star of the show—the chef. Their deepest ambitions for the project are just trying to prove that a full-on cooperative effort negates any need for money and the traditional constraints of any type of business venture. To the core, these two are thoroughly dedicated to bringing the mission behind Clandesdine to reality.

“What we are trying to do with this is to connect people back to the food process,” explains Eli as we sit in his cramped kitchen, the place where culinary magic happens once a month. “Most people have this strange notion that after ordering a meal in a restaurant, it magically appears from outside this concealed kitchen.”

“What we are trying to do with this is to connect people back to the food process.”

The idea with the Clandesdine supper club is to make the whole experience of eating as personal and enjoyable for all involved. The diners, usually served at two different seatings in the night, can hear about where the food was purchased daniel murphy

from, say hi to the chef slaving over their braised rabbit while on their way to the bathroom, and enjoy the company of others who share the curiosity and courage to actually come discover the joy that is Clandesdine. “We really try to make people appreciate the effort that goes behind a meal,” says Ella.

The new chef each month is given an opportunity that any artist would kill for—the opportunity to present anything of their choice in a creative way to a willing audience. This chef, usually young and working a traditional restaurant job, is given free rein to make what they want in the way they want it done. It is the kind of treatment and freedom given to only the most successful gourmet chefs in the world, but for Clandesdine it’s the way things are done.

It is the kind of treatment and freedom given to only the most successful gourmet chefs in the world, but for Clandesdine it’s the way things are done.

They challenge the idea of what a restaurant is. They question how the food industry operates. They throw the traditional rules that they believe made the food grow stale in today’s restaurants out. Most importantly, they break down the barriers that keep the experience of eating from being what it truly is. The method is to keep the chef, farm, and diner as close as possible, no matter what it takes. For Clandesdine, it takes keeping so many glasses, pieces of china, and various kitchen supplies in their upstairs porch that to the untrained eye would appear to be an A&E-worthy case of hoarding. It takes making sure to take that one day off from work every month. It takes a strong drive and commitment to ideals just for this absurd idea—which borders legality, makes no money, and requires an immense amount of time—to work. No matter all the troubles though, it is always worth it when waking up the next morning to a house that looks like it just went through the classiest of college parties.

www.wakemag.org

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Lizzo & The Larva Ink have made a

huge splash within the few months that they’ve been living and making music here in the Twin Cities. They’ve garnered daps from Doomtree, Mpls.Tv, and a host of other notables thanks to their catchy, danceable fusion of R&B, Electro and Hip-Hop, and after a sold-out release show at the Kitty Kat Klub for their debut album, the duo seems unstoppable. The Wake managed to catch these rising stars and their incredibly friendly cat to talk about their formation in Denver and Houston and their transition to the Minneapolis Scene.

Wake: How did Lizzo & The Larva Ink form? You were both solo artists at one point.

Johnny Lewis [Producer/Rapper]: I was living in Denver making music under the name “Larva Ink,” and Lizzo was down in Houston. Her family lives in Denver, and so one of my friends was working at Cirque de Solei and told me I should meet Lizzo.

I was looking for a vocalist, but Lizzo was still in Houston, so I had emailed her but she had been a flake for like a year.

Melissa Jefferson [Lizzo, Singer/Raper]: I was in a rock band, I loved them.

J: She was super into that, but then a year passed and we ended up talking again, I sent her some music and she started writing and she came back to Denver. We just got into it and decided we wanted to make an album.

W: When did you start creating beats as The Larva Ink? J: I think like in ’08 is when I started, I actually just started making beats on a whim. When I moved to Denver I was in a pretty serious Prog band for a while, I’m a guitar player.

W: What about your Rock roots Lizzo?

L: Well, I’m a flautist, classically trained, and I was just that for a long time. Didn’t sing, didn’t rap, didn’t do any of that crap. I had a lot of support from my family, I was a ranked musician in the state, so I kept going and got a scholarship to the University of Houston, all of that! And the one day I just thought, “I want to sing.” It was during Hurricane Rita down in Houston, when we got completely destroyed down there. I just thought, “you know what, I need to do something else,” because I wasn’t playing flute, I was kind of in a weird place. So I just started singing with this rock band.

They were called Ellipses, and I was a terrible singer! I’ve gotten better with Johnny though!

W: What did you guys grow up listening to? What are some of your musical influences?

L: Gospel. I listen to a lot of classical music, I listen to a lot of American composers, I love John Williams, I’m such a nerd about John Williams.

J: I grew up as a Trombone player, actually I was first chair in high school, and I had a really good Trombone teacher who introduced me to Jazz, and thats how I started getting into music other than through school. Coltrane, all of the standard guys, I was super into Duke Ellington which is weird for a young

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person. Then I got into Bob Dylan, and Neil Young, those were my dudes for a long time. Then I got into electronic music from there, and then into hip-hop more when I met Lizzo.

L: Really?

J: Yeah...

L: Aww...well I’m glad I could do that for ya, I don’t even listen to hip-hop [laughs]. I think he got into hip-hop because he was researching on how to compliment my voice, which is the ironic thing.

“We’re gonna be like Prince and the Revolution. [laughs]” W: When you started this collaboration, did you have a particular sound in mind?

L: I remember him asking me if I knew how to “flow,” and I’m kinda half-lying about the rap thing, because I used to rap with my girls when we were in middle school, we were the Cornrow Clique. We would bang on desks and freestyle but I never took it too serriously. But I could southside freestyle and all of that stuff, so I wondered, “does he want to know if I can freestyle rap?” And he really wanted me to rap over his stuff more than sing, and I was like “F That!”

J: Yeah, I wanted her to rap but she just kind of sang, but now she raps more, right?

L: I don’t know what I’m doing! We recently just wrote a new song, and it’s the first song I’ve ever done with Larva Ink where I just rap, except for the chorus. It’s a little weird, but it’s just my evolution as an artist. If I feel like something needs to be spat on, I’ma spit on it and if something needs to be sang on, I’ma sing on it!

W: How long did you guys spend in Denver before coming up here? What prompted that move?

L: It was from March to July, because we played Red Rocks.

J: The music scene in Denver wasn’t really fitting us, there was nothing happening. I don’t know if people weren’t really getting it or we weren’t good enough at that point.

L: We definitely weren’t good enough at that point [laughs].

J: Even though we played Red Rocks, which was weird. Anyway, we were there for a while, but I knew about Minneapolis, and I knew some good people, it just worked perfect.

L: I was excited for Minneapolis because we played the Varsity theater here in April, and I flew here from Miami. It was the best time of my life because I was traveling, and when I came to Minneapolis I didn’t feel like I was vacationing, I felt like, “I could stay here,” because everyone was so nice. I’m not used to people being nice like that. I met some crazy [Twin Cities] people at South by Southwest like Spyder Baybie, Chelsea Boys, and oh my god! I thought, “If these are the type of people that live in Minneapolis, let’s go!” It’s a party man!

L: We had fun at SXSW last year, Lizzo got us some shows and it was so much fun.

J: When we moved here we went to a party, and it was my first party in Minneapolis. It was in this weird apartment, on a rooftop and Mike Mictlan and Steph [P.O.S.] were there and I was like, “This is awesome.”

W: You made some recordings before your debut album, what was the story behind those?

J: Well, Larva Ink has two albums before Lizzo & Larva Ink, but we were originally just gonna come out with an EP, but we kept writing songs and we wanted to put it all together. We came out with two singles which are actually on our debut.

Everything kind of turned into that album.

W: Was that a home recording, or did you take it to a studio?

J: Originally we recorded in Side 3 studios in Denver, which is a really prestigious studio there, and then we just took it home and started mixing it. We want everything to super polished and clean and very precise, so we brought it back into the studio and it ended up being a way bigger thing than we had originally planned.

W: What’s the story behind the live instruments you used on the album?

L: Good Ear! J: Right now we’re not doing live things but we’re moving towards it.

L: On the album we had George Horn come in and play some live percussion instruments and Johnny samples live bass and guitar on some of the tracks. And there’s some flute... [laughs] I wanna play the flute, darn it! The live sounds really made it pop just a little bit more.

W: How do you write songs?

J: Usually I’ll write a beat and then mix it, then I’ll give it to Lizzo, and basically she just takes it from there, and she’ll tell me what she wants and I’ll edit it.

L: At first I was scared to to that because it was Johnny’s stuff and I thought I was just rapping on it, but then I was like “Man, let me put some two cents in there.” Now we’re getting to the point where we’re gonna go into the studio together, with a live drummer, and just organically create some beats that way.

W: That’s sounds more collaborative than the average producer-rapper pairing.

J: That’s pretty intentional, because both me and Lizzo were

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kind of confused about what we were going to do with the project when we first started, like what the balanace was.

When we first started it was just called Larva Ink, Lizzo just kinda joined, but the more we went on, the more we realized we needed to make everyone equally involved, otherwise it’s just a normal hip-hop band. That’s why when Lizzo does more of her rap stuff, like she just released a single [called “W.E.R.K.”] the other day, she works with another producer.

What we do in this band is just a little different.

“When we moved here we went to a party, and it was my first party in Minneapolis. It was in this weird apartment, on a rooftop and Mike Mictlan and Steph [P.O.S.] were there and I was like ‘This is awesome.’”

By Zach McCormick

W: Your release show for your album Due Process and Product featured a few big-name local acts. Have the Twin Cities been receptive to y’all?

J: Yes. L: Oh my god, these people, it’s like we’ve all been friends our entire lives. I understand this city now, because it’s an artist’s city, and so if you create art people here are like “Welcome brother, welcome sister.” They could have easily told us to leave them alone, but it’s the exact opposite. They’re excited about our project, then wanna make music with us and book us. It’s only been getting better because of these people, not because of us, people are pushing this project further then we ever could have ourselves.

W: For a group that started out as more of an electronic project, you have a really strong live show, is that a conscious decision?

J: It’s very conscious, I’ve always been going to a lot of shows, I’m just a serious music lover. I’m a huge fan of Big Boi, and before I went to see him, somebody had told me he played with a live band. I was just really disappointed to see him perform without one. I’m really excited about seeing a group that wasn’t just two turntables and a microphone.

L: But that is hip-hop.

J: I dunno, just feel like our music calls for that live expereince.

L: Johnny consciously stages us at shows, because he has that vision in mind. Me on the other hand, when I started out I was just like “[messy noise]” because I was a little shy and my first show ever no one knew who I was and I just decided to go crazy. Someone told us after a show in Denver “You vocalist is pitchy,” you know I had climbed on top of a subwoofer and stuff and I thought, “I need to pull it back in.” I’m kind of a loose cannon, and Johnny knows that now, so he just puts me in spots where I can “[messy noise again].” Our release show at the Kitty Kat Club was a culmination of all of our hard work on musicality and performance.

W: Where did the idea of having backing vocalists come from?

That’s kind of an old-school thing.

J: When we started getting really into our music, Lizzo started writing like crazy amount of harmonies, and when we’d

try to perform them it was just too much for Lizzo to do by herself, so she said “I think I need backup singers”.

L: They’re called “The Fondas,” because our song “For Fonda” has these stacked 3-part harmonies while I’m singing, so I thought we had to recreate that sound live because we didn’t have a CD to give to people at the time. We flew in our singers for the Red Rocks show and made them wear unitards and crazy hair and thought, “this is awesome, we gotta do this all the time.”

J: We’re trying to make it a more theatrical thing, rather than just a concert. We’re looking at getting a bass player, maybe my guitar in there.

L: We’re gonna be like Prince and the Revolution. [laughs]

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What the fuck is THAT!?

Creatures that go bump in the night...

By Kelsey Schwartz Have you every had that moment when you ask out loud “What the fuck is THAT!?” as you point at some creature crawling by your friends shoe or swimming in the dark waters of a horror movie. This occurrence is slowly slipping from the dark distorted corners of the horror director’s imaginations and becoming a reality in the United States.

Our lands and waterways are slowly starting to fill with alien invaders. When I say aliens, I don’t mean little green men with three fingers; I mean hordes of foreign species. This ranges from tiny microorganisms that cause tropical diseases to massive exotic blood-thirsty carnivors.

David Pimentel, a professor emeritus of Entomology at Cornell University in New York, reported that the number of invasive species in the US has been steadily increasing in se-

verity over the last decade. In fact, in the United States alone there are approximately 50,000 invasive foreign species. This number is said to be sharply climbing each year.

Among these 50,000 foreign species, two have gotten specific attention in the media and scientific field lately: the snakehead fish and the python.

Many more foreign species are out there and it’s about time we start looking for them before they find us.

The snakehead isn’t a very well known fish in the United States because until recently it was only found in Africa and Asia. Depending on the species of snakehead, the fish can grow to be from ten inches to nearly three feet in length! They are able to stay alive out of water for up to four days. This is of course helped by that fact that they are able to breathe air. They also can move on land, by wriggling their body and fins back and forth in a “snakelike” motion, hence the name “snakehead.” Their diet consists mainly of smaller fish, but larger snakeheads are known to have eaten smaller mammals. The most shocking facts of all about the snakehead concern their alarming reproduction rate. The fish become sexually mature by age two or three, are able to reproduce five times a year, and a female snakehead can release up to 15,000 eggs at once. That’s roughly 150,000 offspring in two years!

So what’s the big deal about these fish? Snakeheads are steadily popping up all over the United States, from California to New York. They are over populating the waters and wiping out entire native species. They also have been reported to attack humans swimming in the water.

Consequently, snakeheads are the least of the United State’s worries when it comes to invasive species. National Geographic released an article on January 30 about the invasion of the Burmese python into Florida’s Everglades. Pythons can grow to be on average twelve feet in length, with a body that is deadly strong. They are known for wrapping around their prey and squeezing them until they suffocate. Being semi-aquatic, the pythons have thrived in their swampy environment and started to reproduce in the everglades.

These pythons of course didn’t slither here on their own, it’s believed that the original pythons used to be pets and then when they got too large to take care of were released into the wild.This poses a problem in that they’ve been eating the endangered mammals, such as raccons, alligators, and even coyotes, throwing off the Everglades’ very fragile ecosystem.

Invasive species are a deadly danger and a force to be reckoned with. Many more foreign species are out there and it’s about time we start looking for them before they overtake us completely.

Pandas Only Exist Due to Cuteness How Adorability Has Saved an Entire Species

By Maggie Foucault When you think of giant pandas, what comes to mind?

I’m guessing it’s something like, “OOOOMG I WANT ONE TO LIVE IN MY BEDROOM AND THEN I COULD SLEEP ON IT INSTEAD OF A BED AND CUDDLE WITH IT FOREVERRRRRRRRR.” But most people don’t realize that this black and white beast is simultaneously harmless and deadly, not only to humans, but also to themselves. Without their adorable, raccoon-like features (but without all the trashcan rummaging), the giant panda would be long gone.

“But wait!” you say. “What about deforestation? And poaching? Surely that isn’t the giant panda’s fault!” Of course urban sprawl and overhunting have had an undeniable effect on the panda population. Regardless of these unfortunate truths, however, is the fact that Pandas don’t do a whole lot to keep themselves around, either. For example, did you know that Pandas are actually carnivorous but that their diet is 99 percent bamboo? Did you know that bamboo has very little nutritional value, so they have to eat it nearly the entire time that they are awake? Think about it this way: imagine only eating lettuce for your entire life. You would have to constantly shove lettuce down your throat to have any energy. Unlike

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supermodels who do follow this diet, you would probably not have access to stimulants to make this bearable. Therefore, you would spend most of your day searching for, obtaining, and eating lettuce. You would be too exhausted to do much of anything else, much less mate and propagate your species.

This leads me to my next issue: Pandas are just not DTF, EVER. In the wild, Pandas are only mate during a two month period in the year, and during that time they are only fertile for two or three days. If a Panda does end up successfully mating, they only give birth to one child at a time, which means an incredibly slow repopulation rate. If a Panda gives birth to twins, in the wild or in captivity, they usually abandon one because they cannot raise more than one child at a time.

At the Beijing Zoo in 2010, a Panda gave birth to twins. It abandoned one and accidentally crushed the other while trying to feed it. If that isn’t the saddest thing you’ve ever heard, then let’s talk about the ridiculous lengths that zookeepers and conservational scientists have to go through to get these captive pandas to successfully mate. Everything from viagra to actual panda porn has been used to coax these lazy bears to get it on. Most of the time, artificial insemination must be used.

angie frisk

So let’s see. Pandas don’t want to eat food that is good for them, don’t want to have sex, don’t want to raise the children that come from having sex, and spend most of their time eating or sleeping. Like that dumb person who thinks that Africa is a country, they are lucky that they are so darn cute.

mind’s eye

It’s a Bird!

It’s a Plane!

Oh Shit, it’s a Drone.

By Justin Miller

Next time you are walking out to Como, stumbling drunk and looking for an inconspicuous place to drain the vein, watch yo ass! Don’t be surprised if while urinating you get that uncomfortable feeling that you are being watched. But this time it isn’t the creepy trench coat guy that was following you for the past six blocks. It is a high-flying robot in the sky. It is stalking you, just like a lurking predator, waiting for its chance to catch you in an act of defiance. As you make your statement of proud disobedience through public urination, there is a drone watching you and taking notes. No, I regret to inform you this is not a sci-fi story or some conspiracy theory mumbo jumbo. Our heralded land of freedom is silently but not so slowly slipping down the slope towards an all-out Big Brother police state.

Recent legislation, set to pass into law soon, gives the authorization to make all U.S. airspace open for the use of unmanned, remote-controlled aircrafts. Unmanned aircraft systems, better known as drones, are capable of providing crystal clear surveillance from extremely high altitudes as well as unleashing a fury of destruction through attached missiles. Some drones carry facial recognition systems and license plate scanners, offering instant intelligence in seconds.

Military, commercial, and privately-owned organizations will now be able to use drones for various purposes. The CIA, FBI, NSA, police departments and all other agencies with vested interests in the probing of our lives are shaking with excitement over this new opportunity to snoop. It’s just an added benefit that it is now legal!

There is no saying whether or not drones are already being used discreetly throughout the country. When it comes to U.S. intelligence programs, we are usually kept in the dark.

With hundreds of drones patrolling our country’s borders and military drones being used abroad to assassinate U.S. citizens, it would not be surprising if Big Brother is already over your shoulder. You can be sure that he will be here to stay, too.

As the unmanned aircraft systems market is projected to bloat to $55 billion by 2020, there is much to be gained in the

way of discreet observation and offensive missions. Many heavyweight weapons manufacturers have lobbied the government to ensure the production of “predator style” drones (equipped with missiles) well into the future. The militaryindustrial complex that plagues this country is sure to lead to more advances in surveillance technology and bring the drone into operation in all aspects of our society. So far, drones have been utilized in military scenarios as reconnaissance tools, bombers, and even to take out specific people.

This past year the Obama administration authorized the covert assassination of Al-Qaeda member Anwar Al-Awlaki and his son, both United States citizens. Neither were formally charged or given trial and the U.S. carried out the killings on Yemeni soil without any sort of permission from Congress.

Al-Awlaki’s killing sets a disturbing precedence for the future.

It is clear that intelligence agencies have no qualms about unlawful killings, even of American citizens, and it can be assumed that the same will apply to monitoring and assassination within our borders.

In an atmosphere where government spending, especially on military ventures, is perpetually swelling, it is amazing that a program that will only add extra bulk to the federal budget is being fully endorsed and passing through Congress with unsettling ease. With the military’s faithful support, drones are becoming the new mode of operation. They are used daily in the Middle East for strategic bombings and surveillance. In Libya, during the uprisings, NATO forces used drones extensively to help accelerate the collapse of the regime. Their use was extremely controversial due to the frequent practice of flying remote-controlled bombers into foreign air space and committing acts of war without declaring war. Use of drones has also severely increased diplomatic tensions with Iran. A U.S. drone was hacked by the Iranian government after being caught in their airspace.

The United States said the drone was lost after flying in Afghanistan and demanded the return of their weapon. There have been multiple cases of drones malfunctioning, including hundreds of innocent civilians dying at the hands of

sean quinn

these robots. Remote-controlled weaponry is now prevalent in the military, and this bill now gives the go ahead for remote policing within the United States. I can imagine plenty of “malfunctions” becoming common here too.

So you say “Who cares?” If you aren’t doing anything wrong, there is no need to worry about it right? Sure, if it makes you feel better then there is no need to worry. It is just some drones flying around in our skies, minding their own business. But the problem is that their business is your business.

Once profit is a driving factor in something, that industry or operation is going to blow up. When this legislation passes, we are essentially giving away the freedoms and liberties that are so near and dear to us. The right to any type of privacy that is left outside your home is gone. Proposed programs will track the movement of all cars and people going to and from major cities, essentially keeping a running tab on who is within a city at any point.

Our public and private lives will become commodities of data and information, gathered into various lists and groups, always available to the government and constantly updated.

With technologies available within these aircrafts, intelligence agencies will have the ability to constantly survey anybody they so choose. Say one wrong word about the government that can be deemed as “dangerous to the country” and you could be put on some CIA list that makes you a target for constant surveillance. Yep, I think it is safe to say I will be making that list and I’m proud of it. I’ll be sure to look up and point my middle finger to the sky as I’m taking that drunken piss. So if you value your freedoms and privacies, be prepared to hunker down in your house until the zombie apocalypse.

That is, if your house hasn’t been bugged already.

www.wakemag.org

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mind’s eye

The Maddening Multiverse

Why somewhere in the universe an identical version of you might be reading this exact article

By Mitchell Ambrose We used to think that we were at the center of the universe.

Everything revolved around us, literally and figuratively.

Then Copernicus came along and helped to make the first in a series of dislodgements of the supposedly privileged human position in the cosmos by demonstrating that the Earth actually revolves around the Sun. It was only a matter of time before the rest of the demotions were made.

One of the more unsettling ones was the discovery of the existence of other galaxies. It was concluded in the 1920s that some of the faint, fuzzy patches in the sky are actually other galaxies, not clouds of dust as was previously thought. This in itself was extremely surprising, but the real shock came when astronomers realized just how many other galaxies there are.

Current estimates quote the number of galaxies in the observable universe at about 100-200 billion, each of which probably contains about 100 billion stars on average.

If you are having trouble believing this number, go online and do a search for the “Hubble Ultra Deep Field.” This is the name of a picture taken by the Hubble Space Telescope in 2003-04.

The telescope focused on a patch of sky with an angular size of 11.5 arcminutes (1 arcminute = 1/60th of a degree), meaning that it would take about 13 million of these pictures to completely cover the sky. This picture contains around 10 thousand galaxies littered in random positions and orientations. A quick calculation confirms that this is consistent with the estimate for the number of galaxies in the universe (10 thousand * 13 million = 130 billion).

Note that this is only the number of galaxies in the observable universe, meaning that for all we know there are many, many more galaxies, perhaps infinitely many. This horizon marking the edge of the observable universe is a consequence of the finite value of the speed of light. Light travels at a speed of 300 million meters a second, and it never slows down or speeds up (think of it as having a sort of cosmic cruise control). Although this is an extremely fast speed—fast enough for light to travel around the Earth about 7.5 times in a second—it nevertheless means that light can only have travelled a finite distance since the beginning of the universe. This puts a limit on the maximum distance we can observe, meaning that an infinite number of worlds might lie hidden behind this cosmic horizon.

The possibility that the universe is infinite has opened up the door to the most recent dislodgement of our status within the

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keit osadchuk

universe: the possibility that the universe is actually a “multiverse.” Care must be taken in defining this term, as there are multiple things it can mean. There are currently four main ideas for what the multiverse could consist of: the infinite multiverse, the inflationary multiverse, the quantum “many worlds” multiverse, and the mathematical multiverse (my terminology). I will only have space in this article to discuss the first, but I recommend that the interested reader go to the website of Max Tegmark, a physicist who has written extensively on the different types of multiverses.

If you were able to travel far enough in an infinite universe, you would eventually encounter an identical version of yourself!

The “infinite multiverse,” is the idea that if the universe is infinite, the laws of probability require that every possible outcome must be realized somewhere in the universe.

In other words, whatever can happen, must happen somewhere. A strange consequence of this requirement is that if you were able to travel far enough in an infinite universe, you would eventually encounter an identical version of yourself!

If you went still further, you would encounter more copies of yourself, infinitely many in fact. However much this might sound like a scenario out of a science fiction novel, it is not. It is cold, hard science-fact, an unavoidable consequence of the nature of infinity and probability.

Although this may be small consolation, you needn’t worry about ever running into one of your doppelgangers. Your nearest one would be about 10^(10^28) meters away. It is more than hopeless to try to write this number down longhand,

but it is worth trying to visualize. 10^28 is a number with 28 zeroes so 10^(10^28) is a number with 10^28 zeroes. On an 8.5 x 11 inch sheet of paper using standard margins and 12 point Times New Roman font, you can fit 3,354 zeroes per page.

This means that it would take about 3^24 pages just to write this number. Assuming that each page is 0.1 millimeters thick, you would have enough sheets to make about 810 billion stacks of paper reaching from here to the moon. Keep in mind this is what is involved just to write the number down!

I was hoping that this calculation would somehow make the number easier to visualize, but I don’t think I was successful.

810 billion stacks of paper to the moon is beyond my powers of imagination.

However, don’t let the size of this number make you dismiss the implications of the infinite multiverse offhand. If our universe really is an infinite multiverse, I believe that this represents the ultimate cosmic demotion. Prior to the infinite multiverse, only our location was arbitrary and our size relative to the universe infinitesimal. With the infinite multiverse, our uniqueness as individuals goes out the window as well, since there are an infinite number of ourselves out there, together playing out all the possible outcomes of our lives.

I myself simply cannot accept the idea that somewhere in the universe there is an identical version of me that, instead of finishing this sentence, jumps out of a window for no apparent reason. I think that the logical inconsistency of this scenario tells against the universe actually being an infinite multiverse. Furthermore, I think it is impossible to ever know for certain if the universe is infinite. For these reasons, I continue to hold on to the belief that I am the only version of myself and that not everything that can happen does happen.

I expect that you will come to the same conclusion. I don’t know how you could live with yourself if you didn’t.

The Bastard P resents

ACK! WTFUCK FACTS! Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two ratS could have over 1 million descendents

The wealth of six Walmart heirs, in 2007 at 69.7 billion dollars, was equal to the wealth of the bottom 30% of Americans. The new Forbes 400 has the inherited worth of these six Waltons at $93 billion.

Sylvia Allegretto, a labor economist at the University of California Berkeley

If coloring weren’t added to Coca-Cola, it would be green

If a society prescribes stimulants to 3.5 million children and adolescents, as is the case in the United States today, it should expect that this practice will create 400,000 bi polar youth Robert Whitaker, Anatomy of an Epidemic

Cruise ships are allowed to dump human waste and garbage into the sea, under certain regulations. In some foreign waters there are no such regulations so dumping goes unchecked. wikipedia and other sources since no concrete facts as to percentages were available

www.wakemag.org

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