The Wake, Issue 4, Fall 2012

-P.O.S. Interview -Bastard Dance Contest

22 october - 05 november

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Editorial

Production

Editor-in-Chief Alex Lauer

Production Manager Sean Quinn

Managing Editor Alyssa Bluhm Cities Editor Alicia Johnson Voices Editor Justin Miller Sound & Vision Editor Zach McCormick Obituaries Editor Kelsey Schwartz

This Issue Cover Artist Alex Lauer Photographers Leah Gossman, Kara Hakanson, Shonna Korsmoe, Kelly Loverud, Tara Mrachek, Steve Sitek

Graphic Designers Sean Quinn, Katie Schalow, Sondra Vine, Taylor Wichrowski

-Not having a personal assistant

Social Media Manager Tara Mrachek

-Two members of Pussy Riot are being sent to prison camps

Advertising Manager Steve Sitek

-Halloweentown without the original Marnie

Staff Writers Tommy Finney, Tyler Lauer, Logan Wroge

-College students graduating having done nothing for 4+ years

-P.O.S. cancels tour/needs a kidney

-YOLO

-The Black Sheep

Business

-Every floor in Lind Hall except the 1st floor

THIS IS COOL:

Business Manager Chee Xiong

-Voting

Advisory Board James DeLong, Kevin Dunn, Courtney Lewis, Eric Price, Morgan Mae Schultz, Kay Steiger, Mark Wisser

-Art School Girls

-Nutella, peanut butter, and banana sandwiches

-We Don't Even Live Here -You're not dead -Halloweentown, Halloweentown 2, and Halloweentown High -Red Daughters -Bike speaker systems -France Camp residency at the Turf Club

Contributing Writers Courtney Bade, Matthew Cermak, Tommy Finney, Sara Glesne, Cassidy Godfrey, Jack Hanisch, Kara Hakanson, Elizabeth Ireland, Evan Johnson, Josh Jones, Tyler Lauer, Sam Lindsay, Zach McCormick, Kelcie McKenney, Brian Pricco, David Schaefer, Robert Schoen, Alex Simpson, Steve Sitek, Amanda Sjolseth, Logan Wroge

Established in 2002, The Wake is a fortnightly independent magazine and registered student organization produced by and for the students of the University of Minnesota.

-Goldy

Art Director Sam Lindsay

Illustrators Noah Czarnecki, Dan Forke, Hannah Erwin, Sam Lindsay, Jared Martin, Jordan Riseberg, Allie Ryan, Justin Sengly, Steve Sitek, Sondra Vine

Š2009 The Wake Student Magazine. All rights reserved.

THIS SUCKS:

-Waking up and thinking you're late for class but then realizing you have a couple hours left before you have to get up -Umami

12:4

-Talking to random people on campus and in class -Voting

The Wake Student Magazine 1313 5th St. SE #331 Minneapolis, MN 55414

Alex Lauer

(612) 379-5952 • www.wakemag.org

Editor-in-Chief

The Wake was founded by Chris Ruen and James DeLong.

The Wake is published with support from Campus Progress/Center for American Progress (online at www.campusprogress.org).

disclaimer The purpose of The Wake is to provide a forum in which students can voice their opinions. Opinions expressed in the magazine are not representative of the publication or university as a whole. To join the conversation email ALAUER@wakemag.org.

cities

Attacks On Campus The U isn’t as safe as the tour guides want you to believe.

By Tyler Lauer This isn’t a suburb.

Going off to college means leaving the comforts of home and moving to a (usually) new city where you may not know how to act. Every city is different in its own ways, having different customs and different ways of doing things. Everyone in New York City jaywalks and is an asshole. Everyone in Malibu eats fish tacos and surfs. Everyone in Seattle is sleepless. Everyone in Minneapolis is homegrown and nice.

There’s a reason not to buy into stereotypes.

Just in case you haven’t looked through your U of M email at all this year or haven’t been within six degrees of separation of someone who has been involved (though apparently we all are), attacks are becoming a minor epidemic around the University of Minnesota.

Optimism isn’t going to stop someone from coming up behind you and punching you in the neck while you’re wearing your headphones / talking on the phone / stumbling home drunk in the middle of the night.

needed to be written, what is the point in writing it at all?

If people know about these attacks, or have at least heard from a friend of a friend about them, what needs to be said?

This isn’t a suburb. Minneapolis isn’t nice. Stinkytown definitely isn’t nice. It’s a city. It can’t be nice. There may be some nice people here, but by living in a populated urban area you always have to take the benefits with the consequences. You have to take responsibility for yourself.

If we are old enough to be on our own we have to realize that each of us is the first line of defense against harm. You don’t have a parent holding your hand or a neighborhood watch consisting of all the parents on the block. The choices you make affect how safe you’re going to be; no matter how optimistic you are about the good of humanity. Optimism isn’t going to stop someone from coming up from behind you and punching you in the neck while you’re wearing your headphones/talking on the phone/stumbling home drunk in the middle of the night, unaware of your surroundings. Safety is not a guarantee in the city.

The big picture of college sounds like a great idea: take a bunch of kids from all over and bring them together in the pursuit of higher learning for the betterment of mankind. On another level, college can be looked at as an excuse to live in a place populated with other young and horny people your age who also want to get drunk on the weekends (and sometimes weekdays) and make mistakes.

Thinking about it that way, what’s really going on is society throwing a bunch of naive, ignorant young adults into the city, hoping they swim. The problem is that even if you know how to swim your ability to stay afloat is affected by everything else in the water.

“Hey man, where you comin’ from?”, they asked Barry. Being a little inhibited, Barry had no “DANGER” signs flashing on and off in his head. Without warning Barry was sucker punched in the face, immediately followed by a blow to the back of the head. After falling on his knees, Barry scrambled up and ran away.

Six staples to the back of the head later, Barry was asked if he wanted to submit a police report at the hospital. It was late, he was tired, and he knew it would be impossible for the police to find six guys he could barely distinguish, so he declined.

Attacks are becoming a minor epidemic around the University of Minnesota.

-If you’re leaving a party, don’t leave by yourself, especially if you can barely walk.

-Don’t take every single valuable with you.

-Keep a log of all valuables and serial numbers.

-Make sure to remember identifying information of the attackers, should you be assaulted.

My first thought was to start a Wake Mag Gang, walking around at night with baseball bats, but then I remembered violence only begets violence. Let’s just be smart, stick together, and take responsibility for ourselves.

[Ed. Note: After this article was finalized there were reports of three more robberies on or near campus. One involved a student being assaulted with a plastic lawn chair, one involved a student getting punched in the face, and one involved a person being held at gunpoint. Don’t brush these incidents off. Be aware. Stay safe.]

When signing up to take on this article, four people in a room of 20-30 let me know that they could give me some insider information on an attack since they had been attacked or were close friends with someone who had been. This seemed to me to be an unusually high number of people for such a small group, leading me to believe that either there are way more attacks than the University Police are letting on about, or people just like telling other people’s crazy stories.

22 october – 05 november 2012

A big guy, 6’+ and assertive, Barry Stevenson was at a bonfire in the Como neighborhood this August. Late at night, once most of the people had gone, one of Barry’s friends decided he wanted to go home too. Since they had all done a little smokin’ and drinkin’, Barry decided he didn’t want to let his friend drive home. A little worse for wear, Barry went into the street, right in front of the house, to tell his friend not to drive. He barely missed him. As his friend drove away, a group of six guys appeared apparently out of nowhere.

-Walk in groups at night.

This email explicitly implied more attacks, explaining that this attack was “the third crime of this type since Sunday, September 2.” Another email, sent October 12th, detailed the attack of some University students by another group outside of Blarney’s. These “Crime Alerts” are sent out in order to make students, staff, and faculty more aware of “crimes that may pose an ongoing threat to the University community.”

While helpful in keeping me on edge for the 10 minutes after I read it, these emails fail to impose any sort of effective concern onto the nonchalant psyches of most U of M students.

04

Barry Stevenson knows exactly what I’m talking about.

This isn’t a suburb. Even walking out into the street in front of your friend’s house can be dangerous. So how do we fix this? How do we make living in the city safer for all us students?

An email sent out by University Police Chief Greg Hestness on September 6th told of two University of Minnesota students who were assaulted and robbed after midnight in Dinkytown (aka Stinkytown).

So, considering no one seemed surprised that this article

Six staples to the back of the head later, Barry was asked if he wanted to submit a police report at the hospital.

noah czarnecki

cities

An Unhappy Union

implementing in the constitution that since Adam and Steve are not husband and wife that their union should not be recognized by the state of Minnesota. With two weeks until the ceremony that will determine the future of marriage in Minnesota, each side of the family still has time to change the public’s mind before it walks down the aisle with the votes of thousands in hand and says “I do.”

What if people tried to make it illegal to marry your true love?

By Brian Pricco An amendment is walking down the aisle this November and both sides of the family are in a verbal spar. To the bride’s left is family “No”: the angry in-laws who disapprove of the union. They believe in equality of all families and the ability of Adam to marry Steve. On the right side of the aisle, there sits the proud faces of family “Yes” who, if they had the chance, would bear witness to the termination of Adam and Steve’s marriage by bidding farewell to the modern age and

The marriage amendment currently on the ballot in the 2012 Minnesota election seeks to put language in the Minnesota constitution that would limit the right to marry to oppositesex couples, and if passed on election day, the only way to reverse the amendment would be to counter it with another amendment eliminating the language defining marriage between a man and woman in the constitution. In effect all samesex couples hoping to acquire a marriage license at their nearest courthouse will be turned away only adding on to the long list of rights forbidden to same-sex couples yet reserved for heterosexual relationships. These rights include hospital visits and a series of tax breaks given to those who marry the opposite sex. Not only would this modification infringe on their rights but also the sanctity of their children and families.

made it out to be. If the amendment is recognized and passed, Adam may never be able to marry Steve. So imagine in the future, when you have found the one who you want to share the rest of this life with. Your in-laws decide they would rather skip the wedding and only go to the reception. They disapprove of the relationship you share with your loved one and want to create a section in the constitution, which would make your marriage null and void. Then, pause and realize that there are couples in Minnesota today that have opponents to their relationships much like your pesky, make believe in-laws.

Therefore, vote “No” on the marriage amendment so that those couples can have a chance to finally unite their families and continue the fight towards equality of all relationships, whatever sort of definition they may have.

Both supporters and opponents of the issue are getting outside and talking to voters about the amendment specifically on how it would affect them. Most students have seen the individuals with clipboards and “Vote No” stickers hanging around outside lecture halls on campus trying to garner opposition to the amendment. On the other hand, supporters of the amendment, organizations such as Minnesota for Marriage, have been planning events and spreading the word about the threat to marriage all culminating in a final Rally for Marriage at the Minneapolis Convention Center on October 26th.

With both sides of the issues raising money throughout the year leading up the election, the polls have seen a significant pull in opposition to the amendment, but still a divided stance on behalf of the entire state. According to the most recent poll created by Public Policy Polling, opposition to the amendment has a slight lead with 49% opposed while those in favor make up 46%. This poll collected at the beginning of this month, from October 5th to the 8th, varies considerably from two polls earlier that showed more voters in favor of the amendment than opposed. With the modest change in direction for equality, we can see the work put into the “Vote No” campaign has substantially aided opposition to the amendment; in fact fundraising from amendment opponents has dramatically outweighed contributions from amendment supporters. Minnesotans United for All Families, an organization vital to the defeat of the amendment, has reported that it has raised $5.96 million dollars since the beginning of the year in contrast with the $1.2 million dollars that has been raised by Minnesota for Marriage.

This news comes as a delight in the weeks leading up to the big vote that decides whether he or she will be able to marry another he or she. Most of us undergrads that attend the University of Minnesota are so young that we have not even begun to think about marriage. Instead, the only times we think about marriage are when it is being displayed to us on Teen Mom or True Life, when a girl divorces her husband because she is a textaholic. It has become easy to overlook such a polarizing topic. Nevertheless, there are people out there that are older, and even younger than us who want to get married and they aren’t all straight.

shonna korsmoe

Remember that this wedding isn’t just a party for all of us.

It isn’t as joyous as the supporters of the amendment have

shonna korsmoe

www.wakemag.org

05

cities

Lind Hall Looks Great!

(On The First Floor...)

BY Robert Schoen If you’ve taken any English classes this year or stopped in the Starbucks, you may have noticed the classy look the 1st floor of Lind Hall has been sporting. If you haven’t, well then let me give you the rundown of what you’re missing out on. Obscure, yet pleasant, mathematics symbols riddle the maroon and gold hallway, complete with custom granite floors. The smell of lattes and mochas drift lazily through the air as students walk briskly to catch up to whatever they might be trying to catch up to. In other words, it is pretty damn fancy.

Just wait a minute though! Hold the phone! Up the staircase just one floor is a mess! The hallway looks like a rundown high school where mismatched paint awkwardly covers the walls.

The flooring is extremely outdated, and the classrooms! Oh God, the classrooms. Believe me; you don’t want to have a class in there. But if you do end up in one (most people are required

Try it! You might like it!

Find a new place to study or chill, get out of your comfort zone.

BY Kara Hakanson “Try it! You might like it!” That was something my parents always said to me. It usually revolved around food in my frustrated pre-teen years when some foods were just off limits.

But you know what? I am glad they made me try new things.

One, because now I will try pretty much anything that is on my plate and I love almost all kinds of food. And two, because now in my frustrated college years I can take those words into my own context. I’ve taken “Try it! You might like it!” a little further and associate it now with getting out of my comfort zone and going to new places.

As a fortunate resident of Minneapolis, I have endless coffee shops, restaurants, parks, and other social gathering places at my disposable to explore. And that is exactly what I plan to do. I try new places to study or meet friends and so far every time I’ve liked it. So this is where you come in. I will show you these cool new places I find and share my experience and the pros and cons of why it is a good spot or not. My goal is to get you all out of whatever rut you’re in and try new things because, you never know, you might like it.

to take some English, so you eventually may) you’ll find the stained carpets and old school (not in a good way) chalkboards sadly welcoming you in. It is a pretty morose affair.

“It’s really old, but not in the awesome churchy way like Folwell,” said one student while sadly looking around a Lind Hall classroom.

I highly doubt the tour guides will be bringing prospective students through those rooms. Instead, they’ll go to the Science Teaching and Student Services (STSS) Building where the classroom are so interactive that you can’t not pay attention in class.

You’ll find the stained carpets and old school (not in a good way) chalkboards sadly welcoming you in.

When asked if there were plans to continue the renovation in the lowly CLA chambers, a facilities worker said, “To the best

thinking what I could have bought with that saved ten cents.

Yeah...I’ll get back to you on that one.) I sat at the nearby table to await my scrumptious warm drink and looked around me.

I love to people watch. Fun fact: I’m kind of a creeper. One of those that creep in real life, not just on Facebook (Don’t get me wrong. I do that too. I’ve probably creeped on you. You’ll never know.). Anyway, I was people watching and this is what I saw: so many new people! Unrecognizable faces! What a success! With that profound revelation I am even more determined this year to switch up my study spot, lunch spot, relaxing spot, whatever spot, as much as possible. Last year as one of those horribly uninformed, I-live-in-the-dorms-andtherefore-spend-99%-of-my-time-there freshman, I got into a rigid, boring routine and saw the same people Every. Single.

Day. This year? No way. I’m switching it up. And I think you should do the same.

So as you make that trek to your usual table, think about going somewhere different, like Lind Hall for example! You’ll have a great opportunity for fresh people watching and who

of my knowledge, that is the plan. It’s very expensive to do renovations of this scale.” Lind Hall is the perfect example of just where the University’s priorities lie. The general trend is to give the shiny new buildings and remodels to the sciences. It’s where the University makes their millions, so they’ll throw up nanotechnology buildings, research centers, and remodel the CSE floor of Lind with no hesitation. CSE houses their career center, advising and student programs, and Dean’s office on the welcoming new first floor, not to mention their nice little Starbucks and a brand new computer lab and study space. But after all this renovation, CLA is left in the dumps.

So if you find yourself up in a creative writing classroom, just remember to grab a mint mocha from the Starbucks before you venture to the 2nd floor. That way you’ll have something good as a reminder that things aren’t as bad just one story below the old carpet that the desks rest on. And if, by chance, that mint mocha spills all over the desk and cascades in a brown waterfall down to the ground, honestly, don’t worry about it. The carpet is already stained.

knows, maybe you’ll even make a new friend. Because that’s just what we all want and need, right? A friend? Yeah.

Happy new spot hunting! And may your creeping be rewarding!

Final Evaluations

Lind Hall is great if you’re a journalism student like myself and need a quick fix of Starbucks to your system since it is right across the way. (There’s usually a line but seriously, when isn’t there a line at Starbucks?!) There is only one nearby big table though and a few one-seaters, so if you snag a chair you’ll be close to those people you were just creeping on while you were waiting in line. There is a Hogwarts-esque library just down the hall, but the computers there are just for CSE students and I get the feeling that if you’re not working on Calc 4 homework or thermodynamics the people in there might start looking at you funny. But the looks are totally worth it to be studying in an awesome library that makes you feel like Hermione might just poke her head around the corner to tell you to take notes quietly, please.

LOCATION: LIND HALL

As I patiently waited for the stressed-out 20-credit load student to take my order of my grandé salted caramel mocha no whip, (Yeah, I’m one of those. Judge me.) I looked around at my fellow U students going about their usual routine. For me, I was out of routine. Lind Hall? This was my first time spending more than thirty seconds in the building since last time the line for Starbucks was much too long for my liking. But this time I decided to stick it out and wait in line like the other Starbucks-obsessed students.

After getting ten cents off my order for using my own thermos, (10 cents? Really, Starbucks? Why not twenty? Fifty? I’m just Kara Hakanson

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22 october - 05 november 2012

cities

Arcades and Barcades Minneapolis gets in on the game

By Sara Glesne

Just Your Local Vintage Arcade

A Rusty Start

From Vegas to the Mini Apple and Beyond

Museums aren’t just for ancient bones and overpriced art.

At the Minneapolis retro arcade Rusty Quarters, vintage machines become interactive relics for date nights, nostalgia trips, and sheer garden-variety escapism.

Flexibility is nothing new within the walls of the Lyn-Lake joint. The Spirtos have seen their fair share of upheaval since they first transitioned from comic book store to a novelty gift shop called Puff n’ Stuff. The last transformation into Rusty Quarters occurred December 28, 2011.

Insert Coin(s) Videolounge Game Bar will open in the Warehouse District of downtown Minneapolis on October 26th.

The barcade is bound to blur venue genre lines, but will find a natural cohesion in piling stimulus upon more stimulus.

The shop feels like a wide hallway lined with arcade and pinball machines. Blue and red cubbies with pixelated space invader decals sit across from the front desk. There stand Sage and Annie Spirtos, the co-conspirators and collectors behind Rusty Quarters who lend their help to customers in need of change, dads wistfully ogling old NES games, or those just trying to get a piece of candy. “Yesterday there was a Warhead challenge,” Annie tells me of a group of kids who competed to see who could eat the most without shedding tears from the sour candy.

Annie admits the title “retro arcade and museum” might be a little tongue-in-cheek. “I don’t run an arcade. I run a neverending repair service,” said Sage.

Those repairs are almost all done by Sage himself, with help from Annie as her learning curve sharpens. According to Sage, some of the Nintendo consoles can be repaired easily through Ebay purchases of parts that are still on the market. Others like Q*Bert—which is currently out of shop—require more finesse.

Business was steady until a lull in spring made necessary a fundraising drive over the summer that saved Rusty from an early “Game Over.” After some hesitation Sage set up a PayPal account on Rusty’s website and raised $3,000 in 21 days, saving the arcade.

Now another challenge is set to confront Rusty soon.

This one in the form of a bar whose predecessor lies in a seedy part of Las Vegas.

As one fan on Yelp analogized, Insert Coin(s) is almost as epic as “a fried egg on top of a burger.”

The new location will host high-definition TVs connected to a variety of game consoles from vintage Nintendo to Xbox 360.

The space is set to host DJs and live music alike while also maintaining two full bars.

Co-owners Stefano Sinicropi and Christopher LaPorte have released that the Minneapolis location will be a stepping stone to opening more Insert Coin(s) locations across the U.S. in coming years.

But Annie and Sage don’t seem threatened by the high-tech competition. According to Sage, they consider Rusty Quarters a secondary stop for bar folks. The arcade is family (and dog) friendly in order to bring in people of all ages and sorts; it’s not exclusive to the 21 and up crowd. Thoughts of a liquor license have crossed their minds, but have been dashed by the price tag for now.

Sage and Annie see potential to move onto a bigger space in the neighborhood when their lease ends. Ideally they’d like to serve food and beer, with a special focus highlighting candy, soda, and ice cream in true arcade fashion.

Kara Hakanson

www.wakemag.org

07

voices

Pick Your Poison

Jay-Z’s buddy or a millionaire drone? Poop or flaming poop?

By Steve Sitek Political pessimism is running through my veins like charisma runs through Barack Obama’s and like slime drips from Mitt Romney’s gel dome. Political cynicism may not be admirable, in fact it’s a cop out, but I’m grateful for it. It has kept me a realist to the “game.” Over the past four years it has kept me from being completely swooned by the White House’s soothing voice and ideas. Wait, tuition is still on the rise? Yeah, I thought so. America’s two-party system has left me to pick a poison, left or right, poop or flaming poop. After four years of a media shit-storm struggle between the left and right, my pessimism is no longer rare amongst the young. In 2008, most of the youth had hope, but over the last four years we witnessed our financial future poured into the pockets of Wall Street with each bailout. So when November 6th rolls around, I’m not expecting much change this time around.

the debt, Guantanamo, and civil liberties proved bogus. They were no longer a political priority after being elected. During his campaign, he repeatedly claimed closing Guantanamo Bay was necessary, but once he realized the actual complicated situation, his promise went up in flames. When the Patriot Act was set to expire, he quickly extended it without even pondering just a few necessary reforms. I guess we should have realized hope meant Big Brother was here to stay. More drone strikes than Bush ever thought conceivable, more raids on state-level medical marijuana dispensaries, and federal controlled healthcare have crippled our laboratories for democracy and made us warmongers unwilling to admit we are constantly at war.

A guy this rich is unable to comprehend... everyday Americans...he is too busy figuring out how machine-built organs wil fit into his private healthcare.

Since disappointing his legions and spending all the money we don’t have, Obama has changed his reelection campaign for 2012. He has tempered down the hope expectations. Instead of setting himself up for complete failure, he has acknowledged that he will not be a perfect president. While this

sliver of truth is admirable for a politician, Romney has taken it upon himself to promise everything that Obama won’t. In fact, he might even be exceeding the 2008 hope promises.

He has promised to bring 15 different legislative changes to America during his first day in office, including one instance when he promised five executive orders in his first day. He has promised tax reform, immigration reform, a new stance on Iran, and the repeal of Obamacare. These promises confirm that he is either the fastest working machine ever, or that he simply enjoys making promises. At an event in New Hampshire, he even further sold his soul in an attempt to persuade the youth to vote for him; Romney promised every college graduate full-time employment. If he could prove that, he would have my vote. However, like most of his claims, he failed to back it up with cold hard facts.

A lot of Romney and Obama’s ideas are great, but ideas must be differentiated from plans. It is pretty easy to get swooned by political promises but it is even easier to bash both candidates and be a cynic about politics. That’s why writing this article was so easy. While it was incredibly pessimistic it wasn’t supposed to encourage you to not vote. Our sour political climate will not change overnight, but it sure as hell won’t change without all of America’s help. It will take many years for a legitimate third option to make waves in the media. So even if you write in your dog for president on November 6th, that’s cool. I encourage everyone to pick a poison.

Lets break down our shitty options. In the left corner we have a hip incumbent up for re-election, probably the coolest dude ever to make the White House his home. He’s relatable and he’s tight with Jay-Z. I imagine he would even pretend to read an issue of The Wake if it guaranteed our vote, because he is in fact that personable. It kind of makes you look past the fact that he doubled our debt in a day and hasn’t lived up to the hope hype; but at least he seems like a human.

In the right corner we have a slick looking, multi-millionaire drone. He isn’t relatable to the general public at all because he uses money for napkins and dwarfs the Bush family’s fortunes. He is blatantly out of touch with the common man (see statement calling 47% of American’s slackers who aren’t willing to work). A guy this rich is unable to comprehend situations of everyday Americans because he is too busy figuring out how machine-built organs will fit into his private healthcare plan. Still, half the population is excited about this guy.

Not because he is necessarily a good candidate, but because he isn’t Barack Obama. That logic really feeds my pessimism.

In 2008 when Obama was running for office, the Republicans looked grungier than Stinkytown after a Friday night. They were in complete shambles and couldn’t hide from the Bush debacle. Democrats were set up for success. This is what was supposed to happen: The Democrats would win and then reinstall the civil liberties that were compromised over the last eight years. They were going to bring leadership, change, and new ideas. The economy would take a turn for the good. The nation would come together on issues like healthcare, immigration, and tax reform, and Obama was going to be so cool that everyone in Washington would work together. Change was inevitable.

After a week in office the facade disappeared and over the last four years we witnessed the squandering of a real opportunity. We saw Obama doesn’t have much of a spine. He shriveled when crunch time came. The promises he made about

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22 october - 05 november 2012

Hannah erwin

voices

Vote No (Minnesota Marriage Amendment)

V a n i t y A f f a i r

There is no other choice.

By Tommy Finney Unless you currently live under a rock, I am going to assume you will be voting “no” to the marriage amendment that will define marriage as a sanction between a man and a woman.

I’ll be honest here girls, it blows my mind that this is something Minnesota is even letting people vote on. Seeing as there are no larger issues like cancer, unemployment rates, or the increase of readily available meth in the metro area – gay marriage needs to be nipped in the butt before it’s too late.

As I am sure you know, Minnesota for Marriage is the biggest proponent of this amendment and as I learned from visiting their State Fair booth, they are very serious about it. Somehow they have gotten the idea that “gay marriage” is going to infest Minnesota with a plague of homosexual babies running around with diamond encrusted rainbow knives. While talking with them, however, I realized they are actually really nice people. Although super ignorant, old, and ugly, they have good intentions. They want to save Minnesota from what could eventually become people marrying silverware. Yes, silverware – such as forks and spoons. Or in some extreme cases, even serrated knives.

There are many constructed reasons as to why these people (usually old, Republican, and Mormon) don’t want gays to get married; none of which are valid – and if you think they are, you’re wrong. Although there are many things in this world that people are entitled to have opinions about, gay marKara Hakanson

Celebrating Our Favorite Conquistador

A Reevaluation of our Tradition

By Cassidy Godfrey On the second Monday of every October, most American students and teachers enjoy the luxury of a day off of school thanks to the federal observation of Columbus Day. Whether or not you believe that the University of Minnesota should grant its hardworking students the same luxury is another matter (an important one, nonetheless), but the real issue is that we should not be celebrating a man who went to such oppressive measures to gain fame and glory. Instead, I suggest we pay more credit to the Native Americans whose knowledge and land helped our then-developing nation thrive.

Columbus, as most of you know, was the Spanish conquistador credited for discovering the new world, what we now know of as the United States. Given the conquering nature of the era by a handful of European nations, the discovery was inevitable, but we still credit Columbus and venerate him to this day. What today’s Americans have trouble coming

to terms with are the practices by which Columbus settled his new colonies. The former inhabitants, Native Americans, were forcefully removed from their sacred land and pushed west until further expedition moved them out of our consciences and onto Indian reservations. Coming from the Black Hills area of South Dakota, I’ve personally experienced the spiritual reverence Native Americans have for the indescribable beauty that surrounds them. Considering that only a small part of this reverence has survived American modernization and the gradual loss of interest in cultural tradition by Native American youth, one can only imagine how Native Americans of Columbus’s time felt to have been removed from their natural home.

In the only state that officially recognizes Native American Day; the holiday seems only to mask deeper problems.

Some states don’t participate in Columbus Day at all—for instance, Hawaii celebrates Discoverers’ Day on the same day in reference to their Polynesian discoverers. South Dakota is the only state that celebrates Native American Day as a tribute to its high Native American population. However, has created an unfortunate paradox. The state’s highly conservative and predominantly white population has issues with racial discrimination. The state’s large Pine Ridge Reservation is known to be extremely impoverished—South Dakota has five of the top ten poorest counties in America, all of which are lo-

riage is not one of them. I believe these uneducated people who want marriage to be between a man and a woman are not aware of the harm they are truly causing (but then again, maybe they are).

If they took the time to look at any gay rehabilitation center, they would find many men and women who are there solely because the government and society has told them being who they are is wrong. Countless people have taken their lives or, even worse, lived a life of addiction because of societal ignorance. It is going to stop now – whether you are ready for it or not. This is no longer a world of hetero-normative standards. If you feel uncomfortable with the thought of two men sharing a house, child, and life together, that’s your problem NOT THEIRS. If you plan on voting “yes” on this amendment you are one of three things: ignorant, ugly, or stupid. I would bet you’re all three. Please, educate yourself and those around you to help them realize just how important this amendment really is. This isn’t about Republican vs. Democrat or rich vs. poor; it’s about people living their lives the way they were born to.

If passed, this amendment has the power to end the life of a gay teenager who is growing up in a time where their government and society is telling them who they are is wrong. You may not want to believe it, but the government and the laws it passes have a huge impact on how some homosexual people view themselves. Please, vote “no” to this discriminatory and unjust amendment.

cated in Pine Ridge and surrounding reservations. According to www.nativevillage.org, the suicide rates in Pine Ridge are 150% higher than the national average. They simply are not given the resources and counseling they need to survive. In the only state that officially recognizes Native American Day; the holiday seems only to mask deeper problems. Some citizens don’t give Native Americans the respect they deserve as basic human beings and natural inhabitants of our country.

...Columbus stole the land they considered part of their spirituality.

From Native Americans, early settlers learned to grow crops, hunt, and trade amongst our neighbors. They taught us the skills necessary to survive in the newly colonized land. The Native Americans lent a helping hand, and in exchange Columbus stole the land they considered a part of their spirituality in the pursuit of power. Some Americans have perpetuated the mistreatment of our native people due to Columbus’s initial example. Do we want to continue to glorify a man who mistreated a population, or shift that reverence to those who really helped us adapt to and discover America?

www.wakemag.org

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The Perplexing Problems of Polarized Parties The downfalls of the two-party political system.

BY Logan Wroge Compromise, free-thinking, respect, and unity are all dirty words when it comes to American politics. Instead, bias, stubborn, short-sighted, and separation are the preferred words in which we choose to define our political system.

When progress and growth should be the result of government, then why are we stagnant in a desperate time? You can thank the two-party system for contributing to this problem.

If more political parties possessed power in all levels of government, America would have a more representative and equal standing to better itself. New ideas and fresh faces will help to rejuvenate our policy making processes. If multiple political parties held power, there would be more understanding and acceptance among the citizens instead of the “It’s them against us” mentality we are so used to.

I am not a political person. Oddly enough, I’ve spent more time examining why I don’t follow politics compared to actually paying attention to them until one day it just clicked for me. The Democrats versus Republicans world we exist in is just plain stupid. Now before you political science majors, hardcore liberals, or stern conservatives start drafting up your angry responses, let me lay it out why our current system of government just doesn’t work. With two parties that hold opposite views on most issues, a middle ground is hardly met. And if it is, it’s only after months of struggling and fighting. Compromise is what our system should be based upon, but this is nearly impossible with only two players. No one is there to mediate or give an alternative opinion.

The two-party system fosters conflict and separation within the general population as well. Political problems and arguments in turn fuels conflict among the politicians’ constituents. Stereotypes about Democrats and Republicans are then formed, and citizens are judged based on their political party, even if they don’t believe in all of their party’s views.

Americans are rapidly alienating themselves.

How do we go about fixing these problems? Kill the two-party system and introduce other parties.

Compromise, free-thinking, respect, and unity are all dirty words when it comes to American politics.

This November appears promising in taking steps towards a government like this. Everywhere, I hear people complaining about attack commercials, childish debates, and both candidates in general. I cannot count how many people I talk to who don’t want to vote for either Romney or Obama. This political discontent might send an avalanche of votes towards Libertarian nominee Gary Johnson, Green’s choice of Jill Stein, or another independent. In fact, Gary Johnson is putting in a large effort to sway voters. He is campaigning with the notion “Be Libertarian for one election.” If he gets 5% of the votes in the general election, the Libertarian party will be eligible for grants in the 2016 election, increasing their chance of success then and pushing us towards a diverse political community. This can happen to any party on the ballot. If this campaign season you don’t see Obama or Romney as a suitable president, then help change our system of government by voting for a third party. Because we are at a tipping point in history, and your one vote could determine our future.

What can we do in this trying political environment? How do we go about fixing these problems? Kill the two-party system and introduce other parties. For years candidates have been campaigning for a party that isn’t Democrat or Republican without much success. But in the midst of this recession, Americans are beginning to realize that candidates with different views should not be ignored.

Sam Lindsay

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voices

Everyone Votes Why you should care about the voter ID amendment - and why you should vote “no.”

BY Elizabeth Ireland Voting always seemed sort of like prom to me. It’s cool until you’re old enough to go, and then no one cares anymore.

But it turns out voting is actually awesome and your opinion does count. We’re lucky enough to live in a democracy, a place where we all get to help make decisions (or pick people to make decisions for us).

So yeah, duh, the right to vote is important and valuable.

That’s why the voter ID amendment sucks so much. Drawing stricter restrictions on who can vote is a big deal, and there better be some good reasons behind it. Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be any strong proof that this amendment would do any good (rather the opposite).

The purpose of the amendment is to prevent voter fraud by requiring all voters to have photo identification. But there’s barely any voter fraud to prevent. Several studies have found it to be extremely rare. News21, a national investigative reporting project, found that the rate of fraud is “infinitesimal.” Their investigation found only ten voter impersonation cases over the past twelve years.

Stewart vs. O’Reilly: The Rumble In The Air-Conditioned Auditorium Joke-Debate accentuates absurdity of real debates.

BY Matthew Cermak In the midst of our presidential debates, Jon Stewart and Bill O’Reilly squared off at George Washington University for their own podium-based smackdown: The Rumble In the AirConditioned Auditorium. Streamed live over the internet on October 6th, the event was hilarious, entertaining, and, well, surprisingly substantive.

Topics darted between serious national issues and the ludicrously hypothetical. With proceeds going to charity, the event was obviously more entertainment than informational. However, both men made serious points as much as they stumped for laughs. Memorable comedic moments included Jon Stewart erasing O’Reilly’s 9-inch height advantage by utilizing a mechanical lift built into the stage, while O’Reilly struck back with deadpan visual aids to accentuate his points.

But there was also serious and heartfelt rhetoric from both

The official question you’ll be voting on is “Shall the Minnesota Constitution be amended to require all voters to present valid photo identification to vote and to require the state to provide free identification to eligible voters, effective July 1, 2013?” Please vote NO. If there’s nothing wrong with the system, why bother to set further restrictions? This amendment won’t fix any problems, but it will discourage minorities, low-income individuals, and the elderly from voting – the demographics least likely to have current photo identification, and that often have the least voter representation in the first place. Sure, they could go out and get one, per the amendment’s requirement that the state provide it free of charge (i.e. taxpayer dollars) but it’s a time-consuming burden many might not undertake.

verify their identity just like in-person voters, but how is that even possible when thousands register to vote from overseas or because they have limited mobility?

In short, the proposed voter ID amendment just plain sucks. There’s no proof that the problem it aims to solve is large enough to be a real concern, and “solving” that problem sets unnecessary obstacles to voting, a right that should be freely available to all. It unfairly affects individuals with limited income and mobility without substantial proof that the benefits outweigh the detriments. Join me in voting NO, and keep the ballots open to every eligible citizen - because voting is cool.

This amendment won’t fix any problems, but it will discourage minorities, low-income individuals, and the elderly from voting.

The amendment would also discourage same-day registration. It requires all voters to be subject to “substantially equivalent eligibility verification,” meaning that same-day registrants couldn’t have their ballot counted until they’d been verified in the same way as pre-registered voters.

There are over 500,000 same-day registrants during presidential elections, and the election results would be unknown until those votes were verified and counted.

JUSTIN SENGLY

Similarly, absentee and mail ballot voters would have to

men. In many ways, it felt like a roast for the absurdity of our presidential debates and their exhaustive media coverage.

Though Stewart may have had the more convincing arguments at times, Bill O’Reilly also proved some important points. For instance, while it isn’t a secret that he has cultivated a fairly negative reputation among liberals, O’Reilly clearly didn’t act like the humorless bully that many, including Stewart himself, have portrayed him to be. In fact, he often used humor to his advantage to win arguments. Meaning that just like in our presidential debates, style often beats substance. But there was an air of sincerity as well. In contrast to Vice President Joe Biden somewhat laughably using the word “friend” over a dozen times to describe Paul Ryan during a very contentious vice presidential debate, O’Reilly and Stewart actually were friendly. Their mutual respect was clear, at least in a tongue-incheek, ball-busting your buddy kind of way.

So who won? Well, the audience, but declaring a winner wasn’t the point. The more important message here was the critique on how our choice for president is actually made.

With comedian Jon Stewart receiving the title of “Most Trusted” as well as “Most Influential” man in American from publications like TIME and People magazine in recent years, The Rumble can be seen as more than mere infotainment.

Many even see it as a more honest reflection of our national discourse than the real debates.

But is “real” the right word to use? With the presidential debates put under such a high level of scrutiny by 24-hour news networks, blogs, and pundits, they have become increasingly choreographed over the years. Right down to watching the families of the candidates greeting each other at the end of each debate, forcing strained beauty-pageant smiles. Try watching the 1960 presidential debates between John Kennedy and Richard Nixon. Ignoring the comedy, you might be surprised to find them oftentimes closer to The Rumble than our modern-day presidential debates.

Obviously, the stakes between this debate and 2012’s presidential debates are incredibly different. But does it say something disturbing about our nation’s democracy that The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium felt more honest than the one put on by the Commission on Presidential Debates? It might. What is perhaps more disturbing is that it isn’t all that surprising.

If you’d like to laugh while facing this sad reality, visit www.therumble2012.com.

Dan Forke

www.wakemag.org

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feature

Everything you need to know about Romney and Obama

Romney Abortion Someone seems a little bit confused. Originally Romney supported abortion, but is now pro-life (except in cases of incest, rape, or danger to the mother or child’s health) and thinks the states should decide what the law is. He also wants to cut all federal funding to planned parenthood.

By Kelcie McKenney

Economy Romney wants to make the U.S. more competitive on a global perspective, which I think has something to do with his fancyshmancy business background in order to get the economy back on its feet. He also wants to open more markets in other countries in order to bring more revenue in.

Death Penalty If they killed we should kill them, too! Romney is all for the death penalty. I mean, who wants to pay for another person’s life anyway?

Health Care Completely against Obamacare, Romney believes states should decide. He also wants to increase the qualifying age for Medicare benefits. Poor grandma.

Same-Sex Marriage Romney is against same-sex marriages and civil unions. He wants to ban same-sex marriage in all states, but leave them to decide when it comes to civil unions. I’m not calling anyone a prick or anything, but I think Romney is a prick.

Energy and Environment Mitt wants to drill all over ‘murica including Alaska, in national parks (which he believes shouldn’t have anything to do with the government anymore), and offshore. Sweet, because I love killing baby sea turtles too.

Oh, and don’t forget that Romney doesn’t believe in global warming so he plans to do nothing in that department.

Social Security Mitt wants to makeover the current program and influence people to open their own private accounts. He also wants to raise the retirement age for future generations, so that means it sucks for the people like us.

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Education Earlier in his career Romney stated that he wanted the Education Department in the government shut down. Gee, sounds brilliant. He later retracted the statement. He currently is in somewhat of an agreement with Obama’s “Race to the Top” plan but believes the U.S. government should have far less control over education.

Debt Romney said “Hell no” to Congress raising the debt ceiling. He thinks the best way to make $16 trillion is to have less regulation (uhh what?), cut taxes (doesn’t that mean losing money?), and have some trade deals.

Romney, you sure sound like a genius. Looks like that will make $16 trillion.

Marijuana Romney wants to outlaw medical marijuana altogether and not let any of the States have a say in it.

The 2012 Presidential election, sure to be a nail-biter, is just around the corner. On November 6th you better be voting for the candidate you support either locally, back home, or through absentee voting. We realize that it can be very confusing trying to figure out what each candidate stands for since the majority of the time all they seem to do is make fun of one another, but we have a solution for you. Each candidate’s main beliefs are accessibly listed below. If you still have questions, you can probably find the answers online, just be aware of the overwhelming bias you are going to run in to no matter where you go. Granted, we have a bit of a bias too, but our bias is just better.

Obama

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Death Penalty Barack currently doesn’t hold a stance on the death penalty—how sly. Apparently the fact that our government is killing off criminals isn’t important enough to him.

Education Obama’s education plan includes a program called “Race to the Top” and he supports Bush’s “No Child Left Behind.” Obama also wants to increase the amount of money going towards Pell Grants, government funding that goes toward lower-income college students. Obama has also mentioned cracking down on colleges that are rapidly increasing tuition costs.

Social Security Obama just wants to keep things the way they are (what happened to change, bro?).

But he does want to make sure people get the right benefits even during times of recession.

Economy Obama kind of got stuck with a bad four years, but apparently he has a plan. The biggest thing he wants to focus on is unemployment. He plans to fight this by having tax penalties for companies that outsource jobs (having people outside of good-ol’ America work for them) and by creating more jobs for people within the U.S. Tax breaks among the middle and working class is also a strategy of his.

Marijuana Legalizing medical marijuana is on Obama’s to-do list, but it isn’t at the top.

Energy and Environment Clean energy is the new big thing. Barack wants to invest in finding more environmentally friendly ways to energize the U.S. He does support some oil drilling (and he calls himself a Democrat?) but he wants “stricter laws.” OK, so rip apart the ground, destroying hundreds of ecosystems, just for some oil, but it is totally fine because there are “stricter laws.” Doesn’t really make any sense to me.

Health Care Obamacare, obviously created by Obama, is for all Americans to have the right to basic healthcare. Along with that he wants to stop current healthcare programs from discriminating against potential clients due to preexisting conditions. Not really sure how he’s going to make that happen, but alright.

Debt Same-Sex Marriage Everyone should have the right to marry who they want to, according to Obama. He is for gay marriage across the U.S. Makes sense since love is love no matter what.

Abortion Obama is for the right to abortions and believes women with health plans through their work should have access to contraceptives, including Plan B pills. Overall, he doesn’t want to change anything.

In order to fight our country’s ridiculous amount of debt (last I checked it was about $16 trillion) Obama suggests government spending cuts and supposed revenue increases. He also is for Congress increasing the debt limit in order to avoid default (FYI a bad thing). Obama also wants Bush’s tax cuts to expire for citizens making over $250,000, because let’s face it, the rich shouldn’t be paying less. Sounds good, but I still don’t see $16 trillion.

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sound & vision

France Camp Is Puttin’ On Their “Tyght Black Pants” It’s a man and a band - duh.

By Courtney Bade Hailing from the mysterious corners of Minneapolis comes none other than France Camp, a garage rock band consisting of Dylan Rosebringer (“real leather jacket, dumb hair”); James Wolfeater (“dumb hat, bad breath”); Maxxy Hartbreak (“da cute chick”); and singer France Camp himself (“dumb long blond hair”). Those are France’s descriptions, and maybe those are their real names, maybe they aren’t. I’ll never tell. They’ve been pretty quiet since they started playing together, but recently their name has been showing up a lot more ‘round these parts.

For you frequenters of the Turf Club, you may have noticed that France Camp is playing a house show every Tuesday during October. They’ve racked up a couple shows at the Kitty Cat Klub (one that happened on the 11th of October, and another coming up sometime in November), and some more at the Turf Club in November as well. As a fan of their tunes, it’s really neat to see their name on more and more fliers (even though as a youngster I can’t even put a toe over the threshold of most of the venues). In spite of my warmfuzzy feelings about their growing presence, I wondered, “Why now?”

France Camp has played together for a fair amount of time.

The band initially started off as a three-piece with France, his girlfriend Max, and James (Dylan joined five shows ago).

When France asked her if she wanted to start a “garage rock feeling band,” she only agreed when he promised they would one day play on the Conan O’Brien Show (Max still says that’s her only goal in this band). It’s pretty clear that they started France Camp for fun. They were, and still are, a group of friends playing music because they love it.

The band hasn’t officially released a full-length album. They have a collection of seven demos entitled “Your Leather” that

they put on Bandcamp back when they were a three-piece (and “it sounded really bad,” Max grumbles). The main reason that the band hasn’t done any major projects is that France was playing bass for Howler. However, he recently quit Howler in favor of this project. He “would look forward to getting off tour just so [he] could play one fucking house show with the band.” And, James noted that France was definitely unhappy when he was playing with Howler.

Consequently, France Camp has changed a lot. They are now a four-piece, they’re playing more shows in general, and they have an October residency at the Turf Club.

Ironically though, the singer says that the band is actually trying to play less shows so that they can work on producing a full-length album. The album will include songs off of “Your Leather” and retain the “shitty” (according to Mr. Camp) or “low-fi” (according to James) sound of those recordings.

But this time, they want to use a real microphone instead of a computer’s internal microphone and clean it up to create, as France puts it, “a controlled tornado of shit.” James says, “We just kind of want the energy that we put forth when we play live, even like on the demos. But we want it to be more… something that when people listen to it they would have a good idea of what it would be like getting to see us.” And their “shitty” sound has garnered support from The Current on the airwaves.

But, the frontman says, “the more shows we play the less likely that our CD is going to come out any time soon. ‘Cuz we all work. And we all have, you know… LIFE to take care of. So it’s kind of hard to always be able to get together.” So they’ve got their work cut out for them, especially since for this potential album the band wants to shop around for record labels. However, they don’t want to go for anything far-fetched, or too big of a label, (even if that label does call itself “indie”) because of France’s displeasure with his experience on Rough Trade Records with Howler. Unless they can find a label that lets them stick to their garage-rock vibe, then they might just selfrelease. “There’s nothing wrong with self-releasing. You’re supposed to be making music for yourself anyways,” says France.

It’s very admirable that the band is much, much more concerned with ensuring that they love making their music rather than landing a kick-ass record deal.

Leah Gossman

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Leah Gossman

This time, they want to use a real microphone instead of a computer’s internal microphone and clean it up to create, as France puts it, “a controlled tornado of shit.”

It really does seem like they’re having a blast doing what they’re doing. Even though attendance at their Turf-Club shows has been on the low-end (probably because not many Minneapolis dwellers want to go ALL THE WAY to St. Paul), they’ve made the most out of it. As of right now, the band thinks that about fifty percent of the people at their shows are their friends.

“All of our friends are our fans, but not all of our fans are our friends,” France philosophizes. But in general, the band is looking to expand their audience. They say that the shows are fun since everybody drinks a lot. They’ve been trying to do a costume contest every week that people have been pretty receptive to. Last week’s winner was a “raccoon-leopard mix. Like a raccoon that had leopard print.” And France says that they’ve “been trying to throw some Misfits covers into the mix. They’re perfect. They are October to me.” Basically, the shows are all sorts of October-y fun.

All in all, France Camp is faring quite well. They’re wreaking havoc around Minneapolis, and making music for themselves and no one else. The changes that have occurred in the band from before, during, and after the Howler era are really serving them well. They are more focused and active without sacrificing their fun, don’t-give-a-shit if it’s shitty, garage-rock, danceable sound.

While you wait in anticipation for this upcoming album, GO LISTEN TO FRANCE CAMP. ‘Cuz that’s what the cool kids are doin’.

You can download “Your Leather” for free (free as in no monies) at francecamp.bandcamp.com, and check out their shenanigans at francecampyourleather. tumblr.com

sound & vision

Jeremy Messersmith: The ‘Paper Moon’ EP

By Josh Jones Jeremy Messersmith debuted his freshman album The Alcatraz Kid in 2006, being named the “premier under-30-songwriter in the Twin Cities” by City Pages. Since then he has established himself as a champion of indie-pop in the local scene and soothed our pop cravings. His new EP, Paper Moon, attempts to move away from pop and capture a whisper.

“Pop music is written so that basically it can get in your head and stay there even after one listen,” said Messersmith.

“Sometimes it can be really really intense, like someone shouting or yelling at you. I wanted to try something that was a little more laid back.”

The album reflects this and even though it’s a change from his usual sound, it has proven to be solid work. “It was a really fun way to recharge my creative batteries,” said Messersmith, “I’ve been working a bunch on another record... It took a lot of work and it was just fun to do something a little loose, a little messy -- more improvisational.”

Paper Moon consists of six unnamed tracks that were inspired by a Brian Eno quote, “Repetition is a form of change.”

Messersmith said, “It’s a bit counterintuitive because normally if you want to hold someone’s interest in a song you have to change things... I think what it’s actually saying is that repetition can be form of change because obviously the

listener changes from second to second -- people never stay the same.”

With or without that in mind, the album is presented seamlessly and develops into a solid soundtrack for laid back days.

Messersmith suggests that the record is “maybe a little like make out music,” along with stargazing, falling asleep, flying a kite, and cubicle farming.

Track 1 opens the album with the lax vibes and no vocals.

In fact, most the record is void of lyrics and when they are voiced they take second place to the instrumental. “I wanted to give the editor part of me a break. Whatever ended up coming out, that’s what’s on the songs,” said Messersmith.

The album continues in the uniform of repetition and arcs at Track 5 where Messersmith serenades, “It’s only a paper moon hanging in a paper sky.” The namesake of album comes from the jazz standard It’s Only a Paper Moon which sings, “Say it’s only a paper moon sailing over a cardboard sea.” The record gravitates to this moment, “One moment between two people, a moment of tenderness maybe... There’s nothing else here, even the moon that might be beautiful outside. It’s not,” said Messersmith.

Paper Moon exhales with Track 6 bringing the album to a close singing, “Paper wings, we can fly... Sailing high above ground, look down, rain clouds underneath.” After a listen to the album you will be nothing but calm and at ease.

Messersmith said he was trying to “make things kinda feel like more of a sketchbook than a finished painting.” Sometimes sketches are the most interesting medium.

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sound & vision

P.O.S. WE DON’T

for features, it seems like you haven’t really reached out to any other rappers to do tracks with you. Is that an intentional thing?

S: Nah, I mean, there were some people I reached out to, but I don’t want to reach out to people just because they’re popular.

I usually want to reach out to people because I have some sort of respect or admiration for them. So I reached out - maybe out of my league - and definitely out of my normal comfort zone, but when it was all said and done the songs that stuck are the ones that I made with my friends.

EVEN LIVE HERE

W: Which member of Doomtree is the most fun to hit the studio with? I know you’ve got Sims and Mictlan on the album.

By Zach McCormick

S: Usually, if it comes to beats it’ll be Cecil or Lazerbeak. If it comes to making a rap song it’s going to be Mike or Sims.

Another amazing performer from Rhymesayers has blessed The Wake with his time this issue, and we couldn’t be more excited to bring you an interview with a man whose presence has remained one of the brightest in the Twin Cities hip-hop scene. P.O.S. built his music career on basement punk shows, and that rebellious spirit is in full-effect on his brand new album We Don’t Even Live Here due out on 10/22/12. Full of incisive, politically charged verses and clattering, buzz-saw beats, the new album is a Molotov cocktail lobbed at the industry. We caught up with Pissed Off Stef to discuss capitalism’s failures, his unexpected choices in beats, and Captain. Fucking. Planet.

W: With your lyrics there’s always this strong element of social commentary, especially on this new album. Is there one message in particular that you’d like people to take away from it?

S: For this record, the overall vibe is to reexamine capitalism, and reexamine your daily priorities, and making yourself happy should be - not in a selfish way but making yourself happy in a real way - not spending so much time trying to collect money but spending more time trying to make a life that you can enjoy.

W: With your writing process, are you the kind of guy that likes to write a ton of stuff before you go into the studio and then pick your favorites afterwards? Or do you just like to pick the eleven songs that you know are going to be on the record and then work the hell out of ‘em?

[Ed. Note: At the time of this interview, Stef had yet to announce the cancellation of his tour due to health problems. A video from the artist explaining his situation and a link for donations can be found at http://rhymesayers.com/news/p_o_s_health_situation_tour_cancellation. Please, give what you can, you won’t find a kinder and harder working musician than this man.]

The Wake: You’ve got a pretty diverse group of producers that you’re working with on this album. Did you reach out to them or did they come to you?

Stefon Alexander (P.O.S.): Boys Noize and Housemeister I reached out to. I was on a trip to Germany and I just coldcalled Boys Noize and we went into the studio, and we’ve maintained a cool friendship from there.

Everybody else is somebody that I’ve worked with in some capacity or another, whether it’s through Doomtree crew or people I’ve met on tour, friends, stuff like that.

W: Cecil Otter seems to be taking a bigger production role on this one as well.

S: Yeah, he’s never had a beat on any of my records before.

W: So how do you guys work together collaboratively? Does he come up with it or do you guys work on the beat together?

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S: I like to write a song until it’s done. And if it isn’t working out I’ll just take words out and change it. I don’t have verses lying all over the place. I just spend a lot of time on the ones that do come out.

S: As far as Doomtree goes - me and Cecil - there’s never been a time where it made sense for us to work together just because the sounds I was going for weren’t the sounds that he was making at the time, and this time it just kind of added up.

W: I’ve seen you guys do a couple of Doomtree Blowouts now, and a few other crew shows, and I gotta ask, does Cecil ever actually laugh?

S: [laughs] Yeah, he’s actually - he’s one of - I mean, he’s not really a public guy. It’s just one of those things he’s fell into.

But if you get him around a group of his friends he’s usually the life of the party. You wouldn’t believe it.

Kelly loverud W: Is there one song off the new record that you’re super excited to perform for the crowd?

S: The whole thing, man. Any time I get a new batch, that’s the highlight. I definitely, like you said, I love to perform, I love to play shows. So any time I’ve got a new batch and more things to pick from, I’m feeling good.

W: Are there any cities that you’re really excited to visit on this one?

W: [laughs]We’ll take your word for it.

S: Yeah. I love playing Chicago, I love playing New York. I haven’t booked it yet, but Salt Lake City. Anywhere in Wisconsin. I mean, I have a great time playing shows. And I haven’t been on a solo tour in a long time, so it’s just one of those things - I’m really excited.

With this album you kept things pretty close to the family

W: You and Doomtree have always kept this punk rock DIY

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thing on your tours and in the way that you release music, but I know that you’ve been increasingly busy this year with all of the work that you’ve done, both solo and with Doomtree. Is it ever tempting to let some of that DIY spirit slip away just for ease? Or is that something that you’re really all about?

S: In the ten years that we’ve been a crew, every year we try to give control over a little more to somebody outside and every year we take it back because we like the way that we do it better. That’s just kind of how we are.

W: This is out of my own curiosity because I was a Building Better Bombs fan - do you ever pick up the electric guitar all that much anymore?

S: Yeah. I play pretty much every day.

W: Oh, sweet. Glad to hear it.

S: I’m working on another side-project hopefully this wintertime, so people can hear some more of what I’ve been doing with guitars lately.

RAPID-FIRE ROUND W: Do you still have the Doomtree lip tattoo or is that faded?

S: It’s faded, but it’s still there. You can still read it.

W: I remember seeing Mike at some point had Doomtree brass knuckles. Do you ever get jealous that he’s got a Doomtree weapon? Do you have any Doomtree weapons?

Kelly loverud

S: [laughs] I don’t have any “Doomtree weapons,” but Doomtree can be a weapon.

W: Who’s the funniest one in the group?

S: It’s probably a toss up between Cecil Otter and Mike Mictlan. They’re both just really sharp-witted people. And, like I said, with Cecil it’s more in close company and Mike it’s more public. But they’re both real sharp, funny fucking dudes.

W: If Dessa gets to have a signature lipstick, what’s your beauty product gonna be? Maybe like an aerosol can so you can make a flame-thrower out of it?

S: [laughs] Ah man - maybe some sort of lung refresher.

W: Too much time in the van?

S: Yeah. We’ve spent a lot of this year on tour. It’s difficult for any band to bring bikes on tour.

W: One last one - are you familiar with Captain Planet and the Planeteers at all?

S: Absolutely.

W: So if Doomtree was Captain Planet and the Planeteers - I know there’s seven of y’all so we’ll add Gaia in their too who’s the Captain and what element would you be? [Just to refresh you, that’s Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, and Heart] S: Ah man - No Kings, No Captains, all Fire.

W: [laughs] An inhaler.

Does Papes wake up with his hair in a perfect pomp like that or does he actually fuss over it for a long time?

S: I’ve never seen Paper Tiger fuss over his hair - ever. He just always has a perfectly quaffed little pompadour.

W: I kind of always imagined him rolling out of the womb with hair like that.

S: And a pair of sunglasses on.

W: Do you guys still have any of the bikes from the “Drumsticks” video? Who’s the biggest biker in the group?

S: That’s hard to say - who is the biggest biker. Everybody rides a bike. Everybody still has their bike from the video. I don’t know how much time people are spending riding bikes right now though.

Other things P.O.S. could stand for...

Plain Ole Stef Prince Of Shit Pain Over Silence Pirate Orc Stef Pissed, Odd, and Slick Pry Off Stripes Pinch, Off, and Steal Put Out Sirens Pirates Over Sailors

Kelly loverud

www.wakemag.org

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sound & vision

R E E V E I E R W H S T The Paperboy

By Kara Hakanson

Tame Impala Lonerism

By Alex Simpson

The Aussie psych rock quartet Tame Impala has just released its highly anticipated sophomore full-length, Lonerism, and it’s a definite candidate for album of the year.

While fans worldwide are still drooling over the trippy treats of Innerspeaker (2010), Lonerism boasts a more mature, cohesive sound. The addition of keys and synth help ground the arrangements, while still allowing the band’s roaring, fuzz-covered guitars to soar freely. Frontman Kevin Parker’s nag for catchy riffs shines through on “Mind Mischief” and “Elephant,” while the unexpected piano closer “Sun’s Coming Up” illuminates his darker side. You can hear a perfect intersection of the two on “Apocalypse Dreams.”

The listener takeaway on Lonerism is very customizable. With the majority of Parker’s lyrics buried under instrumentation, listeners will try to sing along, but will inevitably make up their own words. The songwriting, production, and overall aesthetic on this album are of the highest caliber, worth playing at high volumes for an extended period of time. If you haven’t picked up a copy, you’re missing out on the trip of a lifetime.

18

22 october – 05 novemeber 2012

“The Paperboy,” set in the south in the 1960’s, tells the story of journalists Ward (Matthew McConaughey) and Yardley (David Oyelowo) when they come back to Ward’s hometown and stir up a murder story that they believe put an innocent man in jail. That “innocent” man happens to be Charlotte Bless’ (Nicole Kidman) lover. Jack (Zac Efron) is responsible for driving Charlotte where she needs to go, and all that time together leads to him falling in love with her.

There are some positives about the film: the cinematography was interesting, uniquely used to portray the grittiness of the south at that time with choppy zoom-ins. I would put it under the category of an “artsy” film with interesting focuses and two shots going at once. Overall, the acting was well done. Kidman stole the show; doing things on screen I never thought I’d see, like pee on Efron to save him from jellyfish stings (yes, that happens), and she completely overshadowed Efron’s lame attempt at a southern accent.

However, the words that come to my mind when I think of “The Paperboy” are unsettling, rough, dirty – both meanings of dirty – and horrifying, words that I usually don’t associate with my favorite films. I appreciated the limbs the director, Lee Daniels, went out on to make this movie different, but it was so graphic and disturbing that I wouldn’t see it again. But hey, if you’re looking for another reason to see Efron shirtless, which, I must admit, isn’t a bad sight, just play Angry Birds on your smart phone until his muscles are wonderfully exposed on the big screen.

Ty Segall

by Jack Hanisch

San Francisco garage-rocker Ty Segall doesn’t disappoint on his third full-length album of 2012 (yes, third) titled Twins.

Segall released Hair with White Fence earlier this year along with the 70’s feel hard rock album, Slaughterhouse. One would think that with so much music being released in such a short time that Ty might be overdoing it. However, he always manages to keep things interesting and just plain good. Last years Goodbye Bread was a change for Segall, with a cleaner sound and mostly mid-tempo tunes. On Twins, Ty reverts back to the spirit of Melted with an eclectic mix of rough, psychedelic, garage rock, alongside ballads and acoustic numbers.

The album’s first single, “The Hill,” features folk singers that softly open the song, which then transforms into an up-tempo garage rock jam. Twins boasts quite a few up-tempo energizing tracks including the loud and bratty “You’re The Doctor.” In contrast, Ty also incorporates sweet love songs, “Would You Be My Love” and “Love Fuzz,” along with the romantic acoustic track “Gold On The Shore” that seems to channel Kurt Cobain. The longest track on the album, “Ghost,” has a slower classic rock sound and showcases the lyrically darker side to the album along with the eerie “handglams.”

With a variety of sounds on this album, the 35 enjoyable minutes go by quick. Ty Segall has done it again on Twins, ringing true to himself, making predictably unpredictable rock and roll.

sound & vision

UPCOMING SHOWS October 22nd – November 3rd

Monday 10/22

Monday 10/29

Grimes with Elite Gymnastics and Myths

Morrissey with Kristeen Young

Varsity Theater / 7PM / 18+

Orpheum Theatre / 7:30PM / ALL AGES

Sean Anonymous with Primary Colors and Black Market Brass

Octonights feat. Spyder Baybie Raw Dog, Moodie Black, and PCP

Kitty Cat Klub / 9PM / 21+

Honey / 9PM / 18+

Tuesday 10/23

Tuesday 10/30

France Camp with Mutt, Dan Mariska, and Wolf Mountain

France Camp (HALLOWEEN SHOW) with Hollow Boys, The Shakin’ Babies, and Sugarwolf

Turf Club / 9PM / 21+

Turf Club / 9PM / 21+

Wednesday 10/24

Transmission (dance night)

Title Fight with Pianos Become The Teeth and Single Mothers Triple Rock Social Club / 5PM / ALL AGES

Clubhouse Jäger / 10PM / 21+

Wednesday 10/31 (HALLOWEEN) Thursday 10/25

Hot Freaks with Tickle Torture

First Ave’s Halloween Party & Costume Contest First Ave Mainroom / 8PM / 18+

Kitty Cat Klub / 9PM / 21+

Thursday 11/1 Friday 10/26

P.O.S. album release show First Ave Mainroom / 8PM / 18+ MN Musicians Vote No! #1 with Pink Mink, Dillinger Four, Har Mar Superstar, DJ’s Channy and Drew from Poliça, and more

Happy Birthday, ETHAN!!!!

Crystal Castles with Health and Kontravoid First Ave Mainroom / 7PM / 18+

Haley Bonar with Van Stee and Buffalo Moon Varsity Theater / 7PM / 18+

Triple Rock Social Club / 7PM / 18+

Saturday 10/27

Is/Is with The Twerps, Teenage Moods, and Real Numbers

Friday 11/2

Wiping Out Thousands album release show with Laliberte and Sloslylove 7th Street Entry / 8PM / 18+

Turf Club / 9PM / 21+

MN Musicians Vote No! #2 with Charlie Parr, Dave Pirner of Soul Asylum, L’assassins, and more Triple Rock Social Club / 7PM / 18+

Sunday 10/28

#GetOutToVoteMN with Brother Ali, Slug, I Self Devine, Sims, and more First Ave Mainroom / 6PM / 18+

Saturday 11/3

Grieves and Budo with The Tribe & Big Cats! and Sweatshop Union First Ave Mainroom / 6PM / ALL AGES

PHOTOS By Tara Mrachek From THE WAKE HOMECOMING SHOW on OCTOBER 18th pictured from top to bottom left to right: ALEX LAUER, UMAMI, SEAN QUINN, SAM LINDSAY, AND JUSTIN MILLER

www.wakemag.org

19

Obituaries

Poetr y Uncaged Amanda Sjolseth

I am a bird, You are the rock around my ankle, keeping me from flight.

I walked the earth to be with you,

Jordan Riseberg Sam Lindsay

but now I know I have the potential to fly.

Friday Afternoon

You taught me who I was

Sam Lindsay

while keeping me from who I could be.

When I’m at work,

I will not obey.

I glide in a wheelchair

I will not trail you

and try to clean my brain.

like a loyal dog.

Today,

I will not follow

I accidentally used

the worn path.

The Muscle Cleaner So loosen your ties

instead of water

on my ankle, and on my heart.

Leave me ghostless so that I can live

9 Across

without dwelling.

Sam Lindsay

I will fly in the open air in any direction I choose.

a man, a monocle

I will be calmed by the rain.

three trees

I will rejoice in the sun, singing as it rises and sets.

and a testicle Sam Lindsay

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22 october - 05 november 2012

I will be free.

Obituaries

Playing with Pebbles Evan Johnson I was homeschooled growing up. This meant that I had afternoons free, while the other kids languished in their concrete classrooms. The others were jealous and my liberty was every bit as thrilling as they jealously said. I used to have adventures every afternoon in the woods, wandering by myself.

It was a sort of friendship and business contract together—I would go and find adventure each day, and we would spend the afternoon in each other’s company. My world was full of real and imagined adventures. This is one of the two. Or it’s the other. Either way, it really happened.

It was early autumn, almost still summer, and I was young, and the two combined meant that the forests behind my house were a source of endless wonder. Pieces of quartz as big as my head lay about amid the ferns and grass. Green half-light disguised bandit hideouts, pirate dens, or castles for outlawed knights. Sparkling streams flowed from the roots of twisted, gnarled trees. Treasure chests shared their hidey-holes with abandoned bicycles or battered violins that came without reason or explanation.

Despite my practice in finding adventures, real and imagined, I walked past her when I first met her, when I couldn’t see her.

Only when I walked further down the overgrown trail did the sound of soft and quiet weeping reach my ears. At that age, my head was full of Sherlock Holmes and the Lord of the Rings. In my mind, I had the cold rationality of Holmes and the valiant courage of Aragorn and Gandalf. Neither availed me in this case—I could not observe a reason for or a source of the sound, and all my fighting spirit would not show me a set course forwards.

And so, reduced to a mere boy again, I turned slowly around, and moved back the way I had come. I had taken her for a pair of rocks leant together, and even when I could see her, I had a hard time seeing her, if you know what I mean. Like she wanted to slip from my mind, and was content to be a pair of weathered stones, weeping in the woods.

at me, a small curiosity shining through her tears.

“I’m on an adventure,” I said boldly. I was quite confident of this. Adventure and I had already found a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, and some polliwogs swimming in the stream before we walked by this place. “Why do you cry, maiden?”

This sounded much better when heroes in stories said it, I noted with regret, but a small smile graced the white marble face of the girl. I noticed her hair was grey, but it was not a dirty, old-person grey, but a young and shining grey, almost silver, really.

“I cry because all the mystery and magic has gone from the world, and I cry because there is nowhere left to explore, and I cry because what is past has gone and will never return.”

I felt a reply was necessary. “It’s not all that bad,” I said with as much conviction as I could muster to me. As I spoke, she looked at me with such sad, knowing eyes that it almost broke my heart.

Almost, but as I said, I was young yet. The hearts of the young can be made of sterner stuff than you might guess. Only as they age do they become sadder, but wiser, and God alone could say if the trade is worth the making.

I could think of nothing more to say, but it ran against every chivalric bone in my body to leave her here so obviously distraught. Her body still shook with silent sobs, and her hair had fallen back to cover her face like a beaten silver veil. What would my heroes have done? Holmes, at his best, would have comforted the girl awkwardly and insincerely. Gandalf would have whispered words of wisdom in her ear and showed the hope in the dark. But I had no experience in comforting girls, and my heart was too young and intact to know wisdom.

With nothing else to go on, I resolved to merely help as the young boy I was. So I took her hand, gently, as one takes a sister’s hand, and led her to the stream. And there I pointed

to the polliwogs wriggling in the clear water, and the green, green leaves floating on the surface, and the way the afternoon sun threw a thousand diamonds across the water like Zacchaeus giving to the poor. Then I led her to the stream’s base in the tall and twisted apple tree that hid a spring, and we climbed the tree, and I showed her the tiny blue butterflies that flew all about us, and the carpet of white flowers that lay on the ground as if a thousand weddings had been held under the tree, and the small, sour apples that had taken the flowers’ place. And then I led her deep into the woods, and we crept through it as jungle explorers, and dug up treasure chests as sea captains, and sawed upon the violin and sang as troubadours for the King, and crouched terrified in the underbrush as escaping slaves.

And first her tears ceased to flow, and then she smiled, and then she laughed, and then at last she sang with a voice like sculptured stone and pebble beaches. And I sang harmony and adventure stepped and danced with the song.

Until at last the sun came setting and we stood breathless and exhausted after having escaped the dragon, and I heard my mother’s bell summoning me home to dinner. “I need to go,” I said, and sorrow was in every word.

The girl smiled like a sunbeam, and said, “I thought I knew the shape of the world, and you proved me wrong. I can never finish repaying you. But next time, you must come and play in my woods, and I will begin to try.” And so I promised, and we shook on it, and went our separate ways.

Inside my house, my mother had made chicken and dumplings. I ate quickly, burning my mouth, and ran downstairs to my room, where I lay on my bed and watched the moon rise into the night. I told her next time I would go to her woods, and next time I will. But I can stand to wait, for I know it’s always just a step away.

At this age, I had little experience with girls. I had never been afraid of them, nor even childishly leery of them, as all the other boys had been a few years ago. There were girls I had liked, (I was young, but not that young,) but only at a distance. I simply had little experience of them, and no experience at all with small stony maidens sobbing in the woods.

I stood awkwardly above her for a few moments, then sat down beside her. That felt better. I’ve always liked to be close to ground. The smells are better down there: crushed grass, which smells like laughter, and rain, which smells like music, and (when I was accompanied by my favorite diversion) old books, which smell like secrets.

So, there I sat, next to the small, tearful girl, breathing in the smells of grass and trees and stones, and wondering whether or not I should say anything, or do anything, or just leave. I was saved my dilemma when she looked up at me, her hair sliding to one side like a door in a cliff. Cautious grey eyes peered up at me. When she spoke, it sounded like a stone.

Not that it was a harsh voice. Just inexplicably stone-like somehow. Not at all like if a great hunk of granite began to grind out speech. More as if a rather nice pebble you had picked up started to whisper in your pocket.

“Please, what do you do here, sir?” Her slight face looked over Jared Martin

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21

Obituaries

Dereliction David Schaefer Please for forgive my dereliction, I’ve stayed late in my seaside abandoned firehouse waiting for you like coastal tides to whisper gone the calamities that rest in my ear

busted panes, I crumble brick and aged bulbs: the impatient fury of a faltered swell

inside here you taste like wine

blue and red paint artery and writhe unknown words along the atrophy

I read hideous things aloud, cannot recognize your person anymore, love: Jared Martin

labor haunched on your back like the crest of a dutiful wave, harbored, brine and blue, the grey clouded breath that hems the coast

what use have I for these things?

Will you wipe the blood from my jaw? warm towel, saline damp already too much to bag browning to my mouth like freight to rail

I ask too much Steve Sitek

22

22 october - 05 november 2012

noah czarnecki and Steve Sitek

yes yes

Sonrda Vine

www.wakemag.org

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writers copy editors artists web designers r. kelly fans

YOU Next Meeting November 5th - 8:30pm Nicholson 125