The Wake Issue 6 Spring 2007

Girl Talk /04

Down with Dick /08 PLUS

The Weekly Student Magazine of the University of Minnesota

Clinic’s Visitations / 55408: What’s in a Number?

07–13 February 2007

Editorial/ Editor-in-Chief Jenny Odegard

Managing Editor Eric Price

Athletics Editor Nick Gerhardt

Campus Editor Janessa Dohse

Literary Editor Jacob Duellman

Sound & Vision Editor Alice Vislova

Voices Editor Nathaniel Olson

Editorial Assistants Dan Olmschenk, Tammy Quan, Brad Tucker

Staff Writer Carl Carpenter

PRODUCTION/ Production Manager Jeremy Sengly

Art Director Sam Soule

Photography Editor Ethan Stark

Web Editor Luke Preiner

Copy Editors Brent Campbell, Erin Lavigne

Graphic Designers Dave Hagen, Eric Price, Becki Schwartz, Jeremy Sengly, Krista Spinti

BUSINESS/ Business Manager Elena Lyadova

Office Manager Elizabeth Keely Shaller

Advertising Intern Tyler Jones

Public Relations Director Allie Dinnocenzo

Distributors Preston Jones, Luke Preiner

Public Relations Interns Marlys Huismann, Alison Traxler, Julie Veternick

THIS ISSUE/ Cover Artist Ben Alpert Illustrators Ben Alpert, Dave Hagen, Alex Judkins, Jeremy Sengly

Contributing Writers Jeremy Becker, Carl Carpenter, Sage Dahlen, Ben Drewelow, Amy Fink, Valerie Franz, Matt Holland, Nattie Olson, Alice Vislova

Photographers Lynsey Addario, Heejin Han, Ron Haviv, Matt Holland, Angie Myhre, Chris Roberts, Ethan Stark

/5:17 Š2007 The Wake Student Magazine. All rights reserved.

Established in 2002, The Wake is a weekly independent magazine produced by and for the students of the University of Minnesota. The Wake is a registered student organization.

The Wake Student Magazine 1313 5th St. SE Minneapolis, MN 55414 (612) 379-5952 • www.wakemag.org The Wake was founded by Chris Ruen and James DeLong.

Dear Readers, According to CNN.com “Authorities have arrested two men in connection with electronic light boards depicting a middle-finger-waving moon man that triggered repeated bomb scares around Boston on Wednesday and prompted the closure of bridges and a stretch of the Charles River.”

55408/10 Sound & Vision/04 VOICES/08 CAMPUS/12 ATHLETICS/15 LITERARY/16 PHOTOGRAPHY/18 BASTARD/19

The devices, as most of us now know, looked like Light-Bright toys, and had the image of a familiar cartoon network character. The mayor of Boston has called this “outrageous” and has gotten $2 million out of Turner Broadcasting System, owners of the Cartoon Network. Half of that money was to cover the bomb investigation, the other half “for goodwill.”

Apparently, living in a “post-9-11” world means an end to practical jokes, and a level of suspicion so high that we can’t even look at a children’s toy without seeing the bomb it may contain. And while I understand that “terrorists” could be lurking among us, armed with electronics of many kinds, I can’t help but be embarrassed by this display of national gullibility. As many have said before me, I would rather you think I’m stupid than open my mouth and prove you right.

Hugs and Punches, Jenny Odegard

Editor-in-Chief

Sound & Vision/

ethan stark

Girl Talk says, “Yo, bum rush the show”

BY CARL CARPENTER

Arriving for the show at 10:00 p.m., courtesy of Campus Circulator Luanne’s dance party commuter, I was informed I had missed out on show opener Tarlton. Several sources further informed that I hadn’t missed much more than an embarrassing display of bass guitar and lack luster drumming. “It was like background music, for talking over,” says one unenthused man. Others expressed similar sentiments but having not seen them myself, I can’t confirm or deny those claims. Luckily, none were appalled to the point of departure, as what transpired next will go down in Dinkytown history.

The Varsity Theatre is truly a wonderful place to dance.

The onstage lights were purple, then blue, and disco balls spun overhead. A thin layer of smoke began to spread while an excited chatter filled the room. The sold out Varsity supplied as diverse and friendly a crowd as I’ve seen to date. There were couples holding hands,

04/07–13 February 2007

\ Sound & Vision

awaiting their chance to dance. While using the urinal I stood next to a fellow in a dashing, orange and neon green Nickelodeon jacket. I ran into a Frenchmen named Pierre whom I met the night before at the Triple Rock.

A couple in the lobby was trying to tell me about their business, Retard Enterprises: a series of websites that sell stickers. Haley Bonar walked by, arm in arm with her performance bassist, and a girl from my salsa minicourse stood by the stage. This was shaping up to be some night.

Dance Band was the second act. The band was formed a year ago for the purpose of one show at the Nomad, and they have been playing area shows ever since. Their outfits were more than my eyes could endure, the music was far too danceable for my ears to believe, and the kid who stood in front of me wore a thrift store suit coat that reeked of sweat. In summary, Dance Band’s performance was more than my senses could endure. Their front-man appeared to have dropped down from the heavens with Coke bottle glasses and a beard of respectable volume, he wore the lethal combination of a denim vest with skin tight jeans.

Accessorized with a blue headband, a set of matching arm-bands, and a gold, bulldog chain, he would end the show in nothing but a pair of tight boxer briefs and the thick coat of body hair with which God had blessed him. I conducted my first ever dance interview with him on stage during the Girl Talk set (more on this later).

I danced my way across the stage and congratulated him on a great show.

He introduced himself as Paul, and we talked extensively of the great sense of community obtained at any Dance Band show. “We’re all a part of Dance Band,” shouted Paul over the music, “it’s just that those in the audience are slightly less a part.” But only slightly, we agreed.

The party started amidst flashing lights from above and behind the Varsity stage, and one out-shined them all. The pale skin of Dance Band’s skinny, shirtless guitarist produced a light of such overwhelming fluorescence that it was unsafe to look for too long. The drummer wore a pink, white, and blue wind suit none too different than the one your middle school gym teacher used to sport. Best dressed of all was the bass player, who accompanied his orange instrument with an orange shirt, vest, tie and pants, capping it all off with an extremely well fashioned mullet atop his head. The

[ It] was w it hout a doubt the hottest party in the Midwest that night, as we all proved that the Minnesotans can indeed “shake it.”

keyboardist was of the most understated hilarity imaginable. His sweaty face, devoid of color, stared blankly into the crowd. His soaked white t-shirt was stretched around the neck collar, and his chubby face sat below a glorious set of curls.

Gregg Gillis, a.k.a. Girl Talk, is a native of Pittsburg, PA, known and loved for his unique spin on the mash up. No genre is safe from the sampling hands of this twenty-six-year-old party starter. Here are several of the song’s he’s remixed: Ying Yang Twin’s “Wait (The Whisper Song)” over The Verve’s “Bittersweet Symphony,” Bow Wow ft. Ciara “Like You” over Manfred Mann’s “Blinded by the Light,” and Billy Squire’s “The Stroke” over Dr. Dre’s “Nuthin’ But a “G” Thang.”

The band, as advertised, “supplied the dance,” stopping only briefly between songs. Aside from a weak but valiant effort on a Radiohead cover, the band proved an unstoppable force, winning over the crowd with ease. A good time was simply unavoidable with absurdist lyrics about the “Midwest Coast,” and “shaking your babymakers.” Although I had heard great things about Girl Talk’s performances, I was skeptical. To my utter surprise, Girl Talk more than surpassed all expectations.

The cogs began to swing frantically as “Once Again” the opener of his heralded album, Night Ripper, stirred the crowd into a perfect frenzy. A fan from the crowd was surfed onto the stage, and then promptly and forcefully removed. It happened again a few minutes later.

When the second offender was back on stage only thirty seconds after being shoved off the side, the two security guards rushed him towards the back of the stage, this time with greater brute force. Gillis, looking up from his laptop to see this, left his small circular table, and chased them down; after a moment of conversation, the fan was allowed to stay and danced triumphantly. The stage was quickly overrun by a crazed mixture of rump shaking beauties and head banging guys. Not wanting to miss out on the fun, I traversed my way to the front and hopped on stage.

The next hour and a half or so was without a doubt the hottest party in the Midwest that night, as we all proved that the Minnesotans can indeed “shake it.”

Gillis was like a lighthouse in a sea of crashing waves, appearing and reappearing from within the throng of bouncing dancers. Unfazed by the wild activity, he proceeded to lay down a seamless dance mix, which was glorious. The most contemporary number of the evening was the fusion of Grizzly Bear’s “Knife” with Clipse’s “Wamp Wamp (What It Do).” He worked diligently on his laptop, occasionally stopping to dance recklessly, shaking his head and spraying sweat. Onstage and off, we all shared an evening of incessant body moving. As Gillis called the evening to a close, it was to resounding applause. He turned to us on-stage as the room began to clear, and thanked us for our efforts. He turned and hugged the girl closest to him; I was next. I complimented his skill, and he thanked me graciously, a fitting end to an evening of shared emotion and elation. We embraced and then parted ways. I am forever grateful to Mr. Gillis for providing this memorable night of onstage debauchery.

\05

www.wakemag.org

Sound & Vision/

The Guthrie Goes Political

The English language had no way to articulate the kind of immeasurable human suffering of WWII that can dismantle an entire people. We said “never again.” But in fact, it is happening again -Africa, and again the United States is unable and unwilling to act; unable to prevent genocide.

Maybe it’s because the American public cannot face a crisis in which men are being slaughtered while their families look on, while their wives are being raped by man after man after man. Maybe it’s too unimaginable for us to do anything more than shake our heads while reading the World section of the newspaper just before flipping to the funnies.

On Friday, January 27, the Guthrie presented an innovative play that merged Arts and Political Sciences.

Playwright Winter Miller’s In Darfur attracted a diverse crowd of anti-genocide junkies, many of whom stuck around for the post-play discussion. The new Guthrie was packed with everyone from young refugee students to the well-to-do retirees of Minneapolis. By the end of the evening, we were all driven to tell someone, anyone about what we had just experienced. In Darfur is not just a play.

It’s a call to action.

by Valerie Franz

Lynsey Addario

Waiting for the play to start, I was unsure of what to expect. In Darfur was to be a reading of a fictional play about the humanitarian crisis in the Western part of Sudan, known as Darfur. The actors sat in a row across the black stage, reading their scripts off of music stands.

Before I knew it, I was completely engaged in the story of Hawa, an English teacher and representative of the at least 2 million displaced people in Darfur, and Maryka, a New York Times journalist in search of a first page top fold story and Carlos, a doctor who abruptly left his fiancé to become an aid worker. Facing the constant threat of the relentless violence of the Janjaweed (devils on horseback) and the responsibility of saving a life, the three struggle to survive while uncovering the horrors of genocide in Darfur to the audience.

The panel, all of whom have been to Darfur, articulated that the efforts of NGO’s and advocates are not enough and that these organizations can no longer handle the crisis alone. The region is simply too dangerous.

The discussion following the performance boasted a panel of humanitarians who had all given much of themselves to help both in Darfur and at home in their government offices, classrooms, and stages across America. Panelists included: Mark Brecke, an independent filmmaker and documentary photographer; Jerry Farrell, director for the American Refugee Committee in Sudan; Therese M. Gales, also of the ARC; Mark Hanis, founder of the Genocide Intervention Network; Moderator Ellen J. Kennedy; Jane E. Kirtley, Professor at the Journalism School at the University of Minnesota; Betty McCollum, Minnesota’s Fourth District Congresswoman; and Winter Miller, author of In Darfur.

06/07–13 February 2007

One of the first points asserted by Miller during the discussion panel was that although this play is fictional, it is remarkably realistic and does well to reflect the true goings on of the conflict in Darfur. The play is a continuum, in that from show to show it is never quite the same, with new pages being added, (2 new pages added that day), new facts, new numbers of deaths and of displaced people.

Day by day the genocide is worsening. Despite humanitarian groups’ brave work in the region, their presence in Darfur is becoming known as a real threat to the Janjaweed. Aid workers are being targeted and murdered. The panel, all of whom have been to Darfur, articulated that the efforts of NGO’s and advocates are not enough and that these organizations can no longer handle the crisis alone. The region is simply too dangerous.

Ron haviv

When the audience was asked whether they felt informed about Darfur before they came to the show, almost every hand went up. In Darfur was designed for the few in the audience who felt uninformed. Miller wanted to create something that was “as accessible as possible to as many people as possible.”

Slouching in her chair among the panelists; arms folded, wearing a brown sweater, black pants, and brown shoes, Miller looked like a complete humanitarian badass. When asked what she wanted her audience to do, Miller immediately sat up and said, “Make some noise!”

Panelist Mark Hanis was particularly impressive as well, not only because he is a young, good looking human rights advocate, but because he has actually developed a process. You may be wondering, dear Waker, “What can I do?”

If Hanis were here right now, he’d say “If not now, when?

If not you, who?”

Before we can act globally, we must act locally. Find your voice. Wakers, I implore you, contact your local Congressperson. Demand that the Sudanese government not lead the African Union. Demand money appropriation to support African Union soldiers. Encourage your parents to divest. Many of us are unwittingly investing in industries that support genocide. Demand nothing less than an A+ from Congress.

Genocide ends with you. In Darfur is a new tool for activists; it’s a political message communicated through art.

\Sound & Vision

MN Orchestra Rocks Zeppelin

by Alice Vislova March 3rd – Zep fans will rejoice and the spirits of Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, John Bonham, and John Paul Jones will rock in full glory as the Minnesota Orchestra performs the music of Led Zeppelin at the Target Center. Whether or not the entire orchestra has been sentenced to an eternity in hell for playing devil’s music is yet to be determined.

But we do know that this is not the first time that orchestra members are letting their hair loose, so to speak. The one-night-only, March 3rd show is actually an encore in response to enthusiastic feedback from the public during last year’s performances of a similar nature. According to publicist Gwen Pappas, the Zeppelin shows are a part of “a very successful series of pops concerts that feature orchestra arrangements from pop songs, frequently paired with pop artists.” Previous pops concerts have included music from groups such as Swedish quartet ABBA. Although pop, rock and classical may not strike us as compatible, Pappas assures that “the beauty of a symphony orchestra is that it can play a very wide range of music.”

In addition to a full orchestra, the concert will feature a

rock band and lead singer by the name of Randy Jackson.

The project is the brainchild of musician and conductor Brent Havens who wanted the orchestra supporting the band “to give the music a richness, a whole different feel, a whole different sense of power.” Indeed the assertion and power of Led Zeppelin’s songs are amplified by the orchestra in a way that would make Jimmy Page proud. Although the richness of the music is captured by the Minnesota Orchestra’s rendition, lead vocals by Randy Jackson sound somewhat different from Robert Plant’s original rendi-

The full orchestra and Jackson’s voice adds a twist to the original versions while still preserving the epic Zeppelin sense throughout. tion. Jackson’s voice lacks some of the depth of Plant’s, but its lighter and eerier quality lends itself well to the heavier orchestral rendition. Although the Minnesota Orchestra’s renditions of Zeppelin songs may not be quite identical to the original recordings, homage is still paid to the original pilgrims of hard rock; the full orchestra and Jackson’s voice adds a twist to the original versions while still preserving the epic Zeppelin sense throughout.

Soloist Randy Jackson, (no relation to American Idol) is quite the legend himself. Frontman of ’80s rock band Ze-

bra, Jackson is still going strong, having released his latest record with Zebra in 2003. In fact, Internet discussion boards are dedicated to comparing the guitar skill of Jackson and Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page. However, Pappas explains that in this particular performance Jackson’s aim is to capture, as much as is possible, the essence of Led Zeppelin.

Many recognize the sharp violins and syncopated drums of Zeppelin’s timeless songs “Kashmir.” However, as the violins multiply into dozens and the drums resonate through the crowd at the Target Center this March, we may remember again, or perhaps understand for the first time that the song is more than just a classic. As Jackson’s voice floats over the rhythm, it carries a dave hagen personal message, one that has inspired individuals for generations: “Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream; I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been.” This March, these words will be for us, and the voice of Robert Plant will resound as strongly as ever.

Reviews

Clinic Visitations

by Carl Carpenter This Liverpool quartet began playing nine years ago.

Visitations is their fourth album, but it’s a fresh start in the direction of absolute gold. They released their debut album in 2000, titled Internal Wrangler which landed them a tour with Radiohead. In 2002 they came out with Walking With Thee, and then in ’04 with Winchester Cathedral, a gloom and doom record teetering on the edge of scary. On the other hand, Visitations has plenty of mood setters, and some of their most optimistic lyrics to date.

Album opener, “Family,” features fuzz to the guitars and bounce to the vocals and drums. “Animal/Human,” to which no comparisons can be drawn is far from familiar.

One wearied voice begins the song, it is joined by another, the beats drop out, snaps come in, twitchy funk riffs intervene, a Yiddish — inspired loop played on accordion closes out… and it makes perfect sense. Guitars are heavy, voices uneasy, and the chimes and guiros are out in full force. The toms, which the drummer frequently lays into, perhaps overstay their welcome, but on the whole keep things firmly in place. The album ends with “The Cape,” returning the listener full circle to the southern static guitars heard on the album opener. Don’t be surprised if you feel like letting it play another time through.

I give this EP a 8.5 out of 10 on Carl’s, less callous than Pitchfork but more rational than RollingStone, scale of review.

To Kill a Petty Bourgeoisie Retire Early EP

By Carl Carpenter Taking a history class? Has your professor just unloaded a monster reading assignment? Well, my friends To Kill a Petty Bourgeoisie have the cure for your homework ills: Retire Early EP by this Richmond, VA, duo is stuffed to the gills with image conjuring sounds sure to make your assignment a far more imaginative read. Like experimental, ambience rockers Massive Attack and Portishead before them, they’ve captured a mood conducive to thinking nostalgically upon times far more romantic and violent than those we may be currently stumbling through. The group’s name was drawn from an era of French history.

“The name grew gradually from our desire to leave behind that stigma of societal expectation, and become who we are today,” explain band members, comprised of Mark McGee and Jehna Wilhelm. They feel that the Retire Early EP is a big step forward for the band. “This helped us to get signed by Kranky Records, who we’ve begun recording with, due out this fall,” says Wilhelm. “It’s the first true essence of what we’re going to be.”

“I Box Twenty,” which features whirling wind and the pound of a hammer on steel. The eerie soft stomping of a processor and shrill tension of a modulator prove a perfect backdrop for Wilhelm’s vocals. “Lenard Grey,” which clocks in at six minutes, is like walking alone down a dimly lit path through a forest. You’ll find it peaceful, but the warning keyboard, cooing vocals and drudging bass will start your mind running wild with illusions of unknown danger. Retire Early EP is but a hint of things to come: “If you’re enjoying this EP, and our current sound, you’re going to love our new songs,” assures Wilhem.

I give this EP a 7.9 out of 10 on Carl’s, less harsh than Pitchfork yet more consistent than RollingStone, scale of review. (But it’s a 10 if you’re currently enrolled in World of Rome.)

The Retire Early EP plays like a dream, both in quality and content. Hazy at first as you begin to slip under the mysterious, foreign beauty of Jehna’s voice is like a call to arms with the faintest notion of urgency. The firm grip of Mark’s creative can be heard as early as the first track,

\07

www.wakemag.org

Voices/

dave hagen

America Should Lick Dick

VP’s misleading propaganda warrants swift retribution

BY Ben drewelow

On November 8 of last year, President Bush sawed off a dead leg as Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld “resigned.” Americans insofar had sat quiet through the exodus of the neo-cons, the members of President Bush’s cabinet who are largely responsible for the war in Iraq and the Bush post-9/11 platform of war profiteering and expansive executive power. The timeliness of Rummy’s resignation carries with it a weight that the previous exits of Powell, Ashcroft, Card, Fleisher, McLellan, Tenet, Wolfowitz, Feith, O’Neill, Veneman, Thompson, Snow, Norton, Evans, Paige, Martinez, Mineta, Principi, and Ridge, (to name a few) didn’t. With Rumsfeld out and a slew of southpaws in congress, Dick Cheney is a sitting quail.

Poor marksmanship is the least of Cheney’s problems these days. Remember in August of 2002 when he appeared on Meet the Press and said, “Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction.”? Well, 234 Democrats in the new House of Representatives do. Democrats know, too, that based on accounts from people like former CIA Europe Bureau Chief Tyler Drumheller, ex-CIA analyst Paul Pillar, ex-CIA Chief of Staff John Brennan, Colin Powell’s top aide, Lawrence Wilkerson and numerous others, that through a secretive Pentagon office occupied by neo-con hawks Paul Wolfowitz and Doug Feith, Cheney based his WMD case against Iraq by cherry-picking faulty intelligence reports that the CIA knew lacked credibility.

This has been chronicled in several books. For an accurate and intriguing exposé, watch an episode of PBS’s

08/07–13 February 2007

Frontline titled, “The Dark Side,” that aired last year.

It is available for viewing online at http://www.pbs. org/wgbh/pages/frontline/darkside/.

Clinton’s offenses pale in comparison to those of Bush and Cheney, who misled the country into a perilous war that has toppled America’s moral high-ground in the world.

Certainly Cheney was not the only person selling the war in 2002 and 2003. Other major promoters of WMD propaganda included former Secretary of State Powell, exCIA Director George Tenet, Condoleezza Rice, Rumsfeld, and Bush. Powell and Tenet left office long ago. Rumsfeld is history. Rice is guilty of spewing loads of pre-war rubbish, but she is believed to have been speaking to the things she was hearing from the likes of Rumsfeld and Tenet.

So there are Bush and Cheney facing an opposition legislature for the first time. The Republicans House in 1999 wanted to impeach President Clinton for lying about his personal sexual transgressions, and they spent $40,000,000 investigating him; far, far more than was spent to investigate the events of September 11, 2001.

Clinton’s offenses pale in comparison to those of Bush and Cheney, who misled the country into a perilous war that has toppled America’s moral high-ground in the world.

Cheney, not Bush, may suffer the wrath of Democrats.

An attempt to impeach Bush might only empower likely 2008 presidential nominee John McCain, who could assert that a Bush impeachment was nothing more than vengeful political gamesmanship on the part of bitter Democrats.

Moreover, there isn’t a strong public outcry to impeach Bush. The impeachment of Dick Cheney, however, can be carried out swiftly using stellar politics.

Senator McCain, and many others in congress, are promoting the creation of an independent office that would investigate accusations of official misconduct and determine which charges are worthy of congressional oversight hearings. The Democrats should pass this legislation in the spirit of nonpartisanship and good government. Upon the implementation of this new office, Democrats should recommend that it examine Cheney’s pre-war campaign, which contained countless deceptive statements similar to the Meet the Press quote. That office would have no choice but to forward the matter to congress, in light of so many credible sources claiming that Cheney knowingly misled.

The oversight committees, in Democratic control, would move to impeach and the House majority would prevail.

The divided Senate may or may not vote with the House.

Funny, Senator McCain finds himself in a very compromising position; difficult for him to vote against Senate Republicans, but equally difficult for him to side with an exposed Dick Cheney. Even if he were to vote against a Cheney impeachment, he could hardly use it against Democrats in ’08, since the censure would have come from the independent office that he championed.

Impeaching Vice President Cheney is a win-win move for Democrats and for America. The country cannot tolerate leaders in the highest offices of government who manipulate intelligence and cheat our governing processes.

The new congress must send the message to Bush, and to future presidents, that honest leadership is essential to a functioning democracy, and officials who abuse power will be not only be caught, but they will suffer the consequences as prescribed by the Constitution.

\Voices

Oh (Not) My God Confirmation class sneaks in during early puberty’s naivety

BY nattie olson By the time they smeared the warm oil across my forehead, buying the shred of a soul my mother insists I have, it was already too late. When I first lost my dignity, I was fourteen years old and dolled up in a suit at the front of the Basilica downtown with my fellow confirmation class byproducts. Slightly less than a decade and a half earlier my uncle was holding my gelatinous body and unformed skull while this dude, not the same person as the one with the oil, but close enough, poured water down my forehead. I imagine I cried at the time. But that second time, when I was fourteen, that’s when the tears should’ve come. Because if I’d known of what I was forsaking, I never would’ve gone. In the name of the Father and the son, whatever. I was fourteen years old and ignorant from their lies and my own uninformed gullability, oh boy. I was a Catholic all right.

In some Jewish and Christian sects, there’s this big process called confirmation. If you’ve had the misfortune of being forced into this said experience, you undoubtedly remember the reasons your elders gave you, and why this whole ordeal was so necessary. We were a freshmen in high school when they brought us in once a week to this confirmation class. They told us we were doing it because when we were babies, we weren’t exactly keen enough to decide to accept God as our Savior, so our godparents and parents decided for us. Now it was our opportunity, they said, as adults, mind you, to elect to accept Jesus, etc.

Adults. Interesting. I was fourteen when they said this.

But looking back, was it a decision, or was it just as forced as the baptism? For starters, I was fourteen, for Christ’s sake. This was a full year or so before driver’s ed even happened, back when fart jokes were still funny, when young women were still another species, and of them I was terrified. If this confirmation shit were really as important and crucial as they say it is, why the fuck do they have us make this “decision” when we’re that young? I look to Philip Morris for the answer. Kids are dumb. So why not have them ascribe to whatever way of life you want for them before they’re really able to think for themselves? Start smoking cigarettes when you’re twelve, walk through a sacrament like this, is there really much of a

difference? As a fourteen-year-old, I was probably too giddy at the thought of being an “adult” to realize what was really going on.

Six years after, I still fall into Chuck Palahniuk’s unfortunate description of the young men of our generation; how most of us are more like grown-up boys than men.

Even though I was told so, I wasn’t an adult then, and I’m still probably not. But if there’s one thing I know about myself and what I do, I know that I’m pissed that I was confirmed. Had I not been so preoccupied with the crippling fear of getting another swirly from the seniors at school, shit, had I been slightly older and smarter to make such a huge decision about my life, I wouldn’t have done it. Sure, the family would’ve been upset, as they were this past Christmas Eve when my sister and I elected to stay up drinking coffee liquer while watching Lost and wrapping presents instead of going to Christmas Vigil. But they got over it, and I’m guessing they probably would’ve back then, too.

So some people might ask, “But Nattie, why is it such a big deal?” It’s not like I’m forced to go to mass now, nobody’s withholding food until I pray myself to sleep. (Although at times, walking around campus, you can’t help but feel that way.) So why should it matter? Am I just being too sensitive? Is this just another entry from the long list of things that irritate me? I’d like to think so, but it isn’t. Unfortunately, it’s bigger than that, and in step with how I ended up, I’m officially ashamed I was confirmed. Because it’s the antithesis of everything I turned out to be.

Start smoking cigarettes when you’re twelve, walk through a sacrament like this, is there really much of a difference?

But you got to hand it to the Catholics. Somewhere in the big list of people who belong to them, they sneaked one by.

Whenever they brag to announce how many members they have, I’ll always know they’re adding one that doesn’t really count. The only reason I’m included is because I didn’t know who I was then, but can you really blame me?

I was just fourteen.

Do you remember when your parents used to say “Eat your vegetables,”? Well, for me it was more like “Stop watching so much TV,” and “Quit putting soy sauce on your pizza,” but were these comments really much different than our “decision” to enter confirmation class, or to get a bar mitzvah? And even if you’re one of those people who thinks I’m bound to spend eternity, whatever that is, in anguished peril, and you’re glad you got confirmed, wouldn’t it have been more significant had this decision actually been yours, not something which was force fed to you from the elders in your community? Adult decision, what a crock. They told us it was our big momentous entry into all things responsible, marking the beginning of what we want, our desire to be with God, yet had we objected? Well, something tells me they might not’ve been so thrilled about how we were employing our new stature.

You’re a grown-up now, kiddo. Just as long as you do everything we say.

Photo Poll

by Heejin Han

What is the most valuable lesson you learned from freshman year?

The importance of making an effort to find friends. For the first couple weeks of school I kept to myself and wasn’t very social.

Once I started to make an effort to talk to people, I actually made some friends.

LUKE FERGUSON

English Sophomore

What a real friend is.

I could always call my friend from home at anytime of day when I needed someone to talk to. We got busy and might have only talked once a month but when we did, it was like we were home.

KATIE SAWICKI

Art Junior

I learned that I should not wait to do homework the day it is due. Also, I learned that it is important to read for classes even though it puts you to sleep.

ZACH CHRISTENSEN

Computer Engineering Freshman

I learned that it is important to make time for myself especially during stressful weeks or days.

LAURA DOMINE

History Sophomore

\09

www.wakemag.org

Feature/

55408: A ZIPCODE OF MANY TALENTS by sage dahlen

As chilly hipsters stepped in past the graffitied walls of the Intermedia Arts gallery in Uptown Minneapolis this past Friday night, they were immediately greeted by a complete sensory experience.

The sound of the Pixies’ “Wave Of Mutilation” and the warm light of the room were a welcome change from the howling wind and shades of gray outside. Minneapolis 55408, the latest exhibit at Intermedia Arts, held its opening reception on Friday, January 26th. The event drew friends, neighbors and art enthusiasts alike in from the cold to admire work made by artists in the community.

In its eleventh consecutive year, 55408 includes artwork from approximately 40 different artists. Of these artists, about half are returning contributors and half are newly recruited. The one thing they have in common is that they all reside within the confines of the 55408 code. Brochures located at the entrance of the building detailed the exhibit, and act as a map to guide viewers through the galleries packed literally shoulderto-shoulder opening night.

Included in the brochures are descriptions of artwork from the artists themselves. Although many of the descriptions were meant to clarify themes and unusual aspects of the pieces, some are works of art in themselves.

“As cars pass/As weeds grow/As the light moves/What passes for day at night on my walls/Some ghosts” reads the description of Gene Pittman’s pair of watercolors, both of which are appropriately titled “Some Ghosts.” The paintings have a very ephemeral quality to them, as if the ghosts may have heard someone coming and disappeared, only to return to the frame as soon as a back is turned.

Many of the other pieces continue this theme of unseen or dreamlike content. This includes clear examples such as Brian Jon Foster’s “Big Blue Dream” as well as some more subtle references such as Reid Olson’s “Gracefulness” which consists of red glitter spread finely over raised canvas clouds.

chris roberts

Some pieces reflect the 55408 area in a more literal way by depicting neighborhood scenes in photographs. Jeffery Farnham’s collection of photos entitled “Minneapolis Homicide Locations 2004” portrayed sites where horrific incidents had taken place. The photos themselves however were serene, suggesting the possibility of unseen dangers or perhaps a false sense of security. Characters are also well represented in the exhibit, whether as characters in comic strips or jesters made of wire.

Mary P. Gibney has contributed “Portraits From Weegee’s World;” nine small paintings that, combined with their lessthan-subtle titles, such as “Clown” and “Jazz Lover,” portray whole personalities with a single glance. The gazes of her

10/07–13 February 2007

\ Feature

subjects are direct. They stare back without hesitation. In contrast, portraits contributed by artist Ben Olson, show subjects whose eyes are clearly engaged by a third party.

Olson’s work was recently on display at the Rogue Buddha galleries in Northeast Minneapolis, where it received a great deal of attention. Olson’s self-proclaimed fascination with people in awkward situations may explain why his subjects have averted eyes. His artist statement as posted on his website, www.benolson.net, contends that his paintings portray snapshots out of people’s lives. This concept is strengthened by the raw edges of his work, suggesting a view through another medium.

“The people here are very proud of our urban and somewhat bohemian reputation and propensities.

I think this year’s show is just amazing -- the curators did such a wonderful job.”

“The viewer experiences a moment between two people that we all are afraid to admit that we want to watch,” the statement says.

Olson’s paintings are done on plywood, and incorporate paint drippings into the core emotion of the painting. A prime example of this technique is “Once We Were Punk” which contains a gory gold-flecked glamour that for some may evoke the spirit of Iggy Pop, rolling shirtless over broken glass.

A few of the pieces in the exhibit had more carefree and childlike aspects such as Emily White’s watercolor painting “Sailboats”, and Larry JaBell’s “Young Giratte”. The latter was particularly pleasing to the exhibit’s younger audience as they grinned and danced for the paper-maché animal.

Two other very different contributions from JaBell, “Drug Holiday” and “Antiviraled Architecture”, seemed to appeal to an older audience and were both constructed using discarded pills and medications.

“I am able to relate to this one,” says a woman passing “Architecture.” The comment was ensued by the woman’s uncomfortable laughter as well as that of her friends. While JaBell’s work seemed to desire further contemplation, other artists in some ways tried to discourage it.

“There is no special meaning, hidden or otherwise, in my works,” reads the brochure description provided by Morgan L’Argent. One of this year’s contributing artists, L’Argent has lived in the neighborhood throughout his entire life. Though in past years L’Argent has contributed artwork to 55408 in a variety of mediums including photography. Each of the pieces L’Argent contributed to the exhibit this year incorporate electronic elements.

While having a common theme throughout an artist’s work is not unusual, artist Florence Brammer contributed four pieces to the show, each of which was executed differently. Brammer had three intaglio prints on display, each with an entirely different feel and incorporated other artistic techniques such as marker sketches, or watercolor. The prints each had a

unique personality as well. “Embedded” in sepia tones oozed grim sophistication while “When Shopping Goes Bad” showed a clever sense of humor.

Brammer, who has contributed to three previous installations of 55408, can’t recall how she initially became involved with the exhibit, but described the experience as “life-transforming.”

“I can’t tell you how thrilled I was that first show -- to walk in and see a piece that I had created on the wall of a legitimate art venue!” Brammer says. In 1982, Brammer and her husband made the move from New York City to Minneapolis.

Though their realtor insisted on repeatedly showing them properties in the suburbs, they simply weren’t impressed.

“We finally ditched the realtor and hopped on a city bus.

We had no idea where we were going … but when we drove through the 55408 neighborhood we knew this was it. We can’t imagine making our home anywhere else,” Brammer says. “There is definitely a range of economic and social realities here … from lakeshore property to rundown student multiplexes to substandard family housing. Community centers and institutions like Intermedia Arts -- as well as retail, restaurants and lake pathways, beaches and playgrounds -- help to bring these various sub-communities within 55408 together.” 55408 Curator Bridgette Rongitsch contends that this is exactly what Intermedia Arts intended to do.

“Intermedia began the exhibit when it first moved to the neighborhood, as a way of announcing its presence in the community,” Rongitsch says. Apparently, the message has gotten through.

“I am so proud and honored to participate in the show and to be a part of this community,” Brammer says. “The people here are very proud of our urban and somewhat bohemian reputation and propensities. I think this year’s show is just

amazing -- the curators did such a wonderful job.” Brammer is not the only one to feel this way.

Artists and viewers alike seemed to regard the curators with both gratitude and admiration, and with good reason.

Anyone who tried to navigate towards the lavish displays of food during the opening reception was witness to its exceptional attendance.

Even after the exhibit had begun, the curators’ job was far from finished. Rongitsch spent the night engaged in one excited conversation after another. The petite woman in fishnets glided across the gallery eagerly greeting friendly faces.

Rongitsch, in her fourth year of being curator for 55408, said that this year the exhibit is trying to emphasize the “interaction between art and community.” Rongitsch and Sergio Vucci, the exhibit’s other curator, were able to actually go into artists’ homes and studios to hand select which pieces would be displayed. “There are certainly people who have been in all eleven [exhibits] and it has been fun to see how their work has progressed,” Rongitsch says.

In its eleventh year, Minneapolis 55408 is anything but tired.

With as many new artists as returning ones, the content is fresh, vibrant and compelling. Though the exhibit is billed as displaying work from “Minneapolis’ most creative zip code,” perhaps 55408 is just benefiting from more support than other artistic enclaves. This begs the question, how well does anyone really know his or her neighbors? In an age where people prefer to converse by computer screen, Intermedia Arts is reminding us all that we are all part of a community, and that sometimes that community is pretty darn cool.

The exhibit runs through March 17 and is free to the public. For more information visit intermediaarts.org or call (612) 871-4444.

\11

www.wakemag.org

Campus/

alex judkins

Consolidating the Gendered Citizen BY cole dennis A basement room in Ford Hall was filled with a crowd of people who looked like they would be attending a talk about transgender rights. By this, of course, I mean people like me had gathered to hear Consolidating the Gendered Citizen: Trans Survival, Bureaucratic Power, and the War on Terror, a lecture put on by the Gender, Women and Sexuality Studies Department. The tattooed and pierced and poorly dressed bleeding hearts of the University of Minnesota had shown up full force, and it made me sad that the wrong people were going to hear the right message. It had looked as though there were a few stragglers lured in by the promise of free Diet Coke and Oreos, but other than that we all would’ve heard this a thousand times before and no one’s mind would be changed because we’d already had them changed.

But I was wrong.

Dean Spade, in addition to having a haircut I’m jealous of, has views on activism

12/07–13 February 2007

and the fight for GLBT rights (well, specifically, the underrepresented T’s - transgender) that most people don’t consider.

Dean doesn’t think of equality the way the rest of modern America, or the gay and lesbian movement, does. Instead of trying to change the law, Dean wants to challenge the bureaucracy that holds transgender people down.

In California, the legal defense of “transpanic” is now illegal. This means that no defendant can say he or she panicked when discovering someone is a transgender and manically killed that person. This is good, but Dean asks the question “Should we be stopping the killing instead?” That is the difference.

His lecture remained interesting somehow, though much of it was discussing the boring minutia of laws and how they vary state to state, such as how remarkably different states handle changing a person’s legal gender. Say that in your state, you have to undergo a surgical operation and

have proof from your doctor to change the gender just on your driver’s license. If you went to Oregon, where each case is evaluated by a judge and then a court order is put out to change your listed gender, your gender would legally change as you crossed state lines. You can probably see how this could be a problem.

Instead of trying to change the law, Dean wants to challenge the bureaucracy that holds transgender people down.

The War on Terror even managed to get its sticky little moronic hands on the lives of transgender New Yorkers. When lobbying for new legislation on legally changing a person’s gender in New York City, where “once you send them your uterus on a platter, they’ll change your birth cer-

tificate,” Dean and his fellow lobbyists presented evidence on the matter and were finally making leeway after two years of work, then were shot down on the basis of risks of terrorism. I suppose the thinking is that we couldn’t track the terrorists if they went around switching genitalia all willy nilly on us. Or worse yet, surgically implanted exploding penises. Just think about it.

What needs to be done, at least in Dean’s opinion, is to make living as a transgender person well, livable. Instead of focusing on, say, punishing prisoners who’ve committed violent crimes, maybe we should try and make it possible for transgender people to get a job, or find government help, or even have access to shelters.

\ Campus

Develop: Looking Through the First Year Lens BY carl carpenter Thrust into a world of complete independence, we first-year students have reacted in a number of ways. No longer under the watchful eye of our parents and guardians, we were forced to step out of our comfort zones, and into a world of fresh faces and new obstacles. Twelve freshmen were selected through application to document their first semesters as freshman at the University of Minnesota. Through photography and journaling, these students captured this time of personal discovery, uncertainty, and stress. Would they fold under the pressures of increased workload? Could they survive the sheer size and population of the U? Would they achieve more A’s and B’s on their hepatitis reports than on their finals? Only time would tell.

Over at the Coffman Art Gallery, I took in the fruit of twelve semesters of progress.

The level of photographic ability varied greatly among the participants, but all efforts were genuine. The most striking feature of these projects was how they all told a unique story, demonstrating the forgotten fact that each person in themselves is an interesting tale. In our cramped-fortime, 1,000-things-on-our-mind world, we rarely take the time to realize how inherently captivating each individual can be.

This art exhibit was a welcome step back from my own life, and into that of twelve others.

Two of the freshmen were at the U from states outside of the Midwest. The first was Donovan Begay from White Cone, AZ, a small town on a 24,000 acre reservation. Donovan was this year’s recipient of the annual Ethel Curry Native American Scholarship Fund. One theme of Donovan’s photographs was his heritage as a Navajo Indian. He’s involved in an American Indian student organization. “It was important to me to help with establishing our presence here, as we’re such a small part of the population,” he says. Donovan also had a photo taken from inside his dorm, Frontier Hall, looking out, capturing the year’s first snowfall. “A lot of the pictures were of my dorm and others, be-

cause this is my new home,” he says. The other non-Midwesterner was Hannah Eaton from Brooklyn, NY. Her overall theme was expressed in chaos, not uncommon to a first year’s lifestyle. Pictures of messy dorms adorned with McDonald’s wrappers and peanut butter jars. Contrasting with the others, my favorite photo was of a girl sitting out on a rock just off the bank of the river, looking off towards the calm water.

Could they survive the sheer size and population of the U? Would they achieve more A’s and B’s on their hepatitis reports than on their finals? Only time would tell.

The message of Tahnee Zerr’s photographs and journals was that finding new friends is hard. Hailing from the tiny town of Mohall, ND, the task was, at first, as daunting as the move to the big city. By semester’s end, however, she was as cozy as could be. “I discovered it was possible to love and call two very different places home,” Taltnee says in her closing remarks of the short explanation next to her pictures.

Jennifer Marshall had a strong emphasis on the overwhelming task of finding her classes, and then subsequently staying on top of her studies. The majority of Jennifer’s pictures were of students alone in the library or Coffman, books spread all around, head resting in their hands, a pose of utter despair. Her best photo, though, was one of the few not focused on the rigors of the collegiate workload. It was a smiling couple shot unbeknownst, sharing an intimate moment in the park. They sat in the vast shade of a tree-laden section of campus, the lighting ideal for such a private moment.

ing blankly up at two pillars in front of a University building, dwarfed by its sheer size. Evan Stremke’s shots and words were all dedicated to the strong ties he’s already formed with fellow dorm occupants and classmates. The Milwaukee, Wisconsin, native’s best picture was a stoic worm’s eye shot of Coffman Union in black and white.

Sara Duchrow cited marching band, late nights, studying, and new friends as areas of greatest consequence to her first four months at the U. Her best picture was taken from underneath an overhang near Kolthoff Hall, facing downtown. A support beam split the picture in two: our skyline on the right and a burst of sun filling the left. Heather Klein, of Owatonna, was clearly one of the participants going in with a skill for the art of photography. Her shot of the mighty Mississippi from behind the shoe tree on the Washington Avenue bridge was one of the most creative by a mile. Her photo of the Weisman Art Museum was the best of its kind. A faint glare of orange reflected off the metallic sides, accentuated by the clear blue sky filling up the remainder of the frame.

Maria Macias’s photos focused mainly on wacky exploits of her pals. She snapped one particularly noteworthy picture of an empty sidewalk through a rain covered window on an overcast afternoon. Josh Miller was the only one of the twelve to take any pictures of the U of M’s noted party scene. The scene outside a particularly raucous house on Halloween night was well worth remembering. He also had a series of four pictures showcasing Minneapolis’s stunning skyline. The first was taken at sunrise, the second at its set, the third of blurred view on a foggy day, and the final in the dead of night. Megan Manteuffel only had seven pictures on her board, far below the average, but needed not a single more. Megan was another participant of sure photographic talent. Heidi Johansen, who as you may have guessed, hails from North Dakota, stressed the fact of her having graduated with only thirtynine other students. She took several shots of bicycles and bike racks, a curious fixation with no explanation … other than the fact that she’s from North Dakota … which is really just an answer in itself.

April Nowack’s photos bore a thematic resemblance to that of Jennifer’s. Her best shot was of two mesmerized students star-

courtesy ofyp

\13

www.wakemag.org

Campus/

The “Yellow Peril” in the Americas A transnational history of Asian immigration and exclusion

quickly to Vancouver and parts of California, in response to the seizing of available jobs and the monopolization of grocery stores and small businesses by Asian Americans. With this racial tension also spread cooperation among North American nations.

By Amy Fink

Other countries began to follow in the footsteps of the U.S., adopting similar policies. According to Lee, there occurred a domino effect in which migration was redirected to other places, especially in the 1930s when there was an influx of Asian immigrants in Mexico and Latin America because the doors had been shut in North America. As a result, in the 1930s Latin American countries such as Brazil and Peru restricted Japanese immigration, and the Chinese were expelled from Mexico in 1931.

On Monday, January 22, Associate Professor Erika Lee of History held a lecture and discussion in the Elmer L. Andersen Library on the West Bank about transnational methodologies and how this cultural shift played a vital role in the response to Asian migration in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. The lecture, called “The ‘Yellow Peril’ in the Americas: A Transnational History of Asian Immigration and Exclusion,” was one of a series of seminars sponsored by the Immigration History Research Center.

The seminars are open to all students and, according to Lee, tend to attract a diverse audience—faculty, graduates, and undergrads from various departments including American Studies, History, Geography, and even the Humphrey Institute.

Lee talked about the “yellow peril” in conjunction with the idea of transnationalism. Transnationalism refers to the increased dialogue and fading of boundaries between countries, such as was seen in the case of Asian migration to North and South America over a decade ago.

As early as the 1880s, the U.S., Canada, and Australia began to restrict Chinese immigration. In the U.S. and Canada these restrictions were expanded to include Japanese immigration in the early 1900s. What was once the Japanese and Korean Exclusion League, established in 1906, became the Asiatic Exclusion League in response to Indian immigration.

In 1907 a string of riots occurred, starting in Bellingham, Washington and spreading

Lee also talked about the Great White Fleet, one of the largest naval fleets at the time (between 1907 and 1909) and a prime example of America flexing its strong arm in response to Japan’s growing military.

“It was seen by countries like Australia and New Zealand as a show of allegiance among white settler countries in opposition to the growing ‘yellow peril’ of Japan and Japanese immigration abroad,” Lee says.

Xenophobia is still very much alive today Lee asserts that xenophobia is still very much alive today, especially after 9/11 and the adoption of “border harmonization” policies with Canada and Mexico to protect against terrorism.

“I am interested in these subjects because of their contemporary relevance,” Lee says, “and because they help us understand the central roles of race and immigration in shaping American and world history.”

Dave Hagen

14/07–13 February 2007

\ Athletics

Modern Day Gunfighters

Matt Holland

By Matt Holland Every weekend all over the country, if you know where to look, you can find a motley assortment of warriors preparing for battle in brightly colored arenas. As the seconds count down, plans are made, equipment is checked and cleats are dug into the turf. When the horn blows, it’s high noon at the OK Corral. It’s Pearl Harbor, Rorke’s Drift, the Battle of the Bulge. In less than a minute, several thousand projectiles fill the air.

Paintball is the third largest extreme sport in the world behind in-line skating and skateboarding.

Paintball, with over 9.8 million players around the globe, is the third largest extreme sport in the world behind in-line skating and skateboarding. Paintball players are stereotyped as camouflaged militia-wannabes, and while that is true for some, there is a completely different side to the game. Thousands of people participate in competitive paintball, played on small, spectator-friendly fields often shown on ESPN. The National Professional Paintball League (NPPL) and Paintball Sports Promotions (PSP) run five national events every year. The 2006 PSP World Cup at Disney’s Wide World of Sports in Orlando, Florida brought more than 350 teams to determine who is the best in the world.

Local paintball is thriving as well. Major Minnesota tournaments include the Polar Bear Circuit, the Annandale Youth Series and the Splat Tag Rookie Cup. Players can start in Young Guns or Rookie events and move up the ranks to Novice and Amateur.

Playing in a local event can cost anywhere from $100-$300 per player with some tournaments offering cash or equipment prizes. The equipment can range in cost from $100 to several thousand dollars and can be accessorized with several hundred

dollars-worth of customizable parts. Most of the markers used are fired by electronics, making the trigger pull lighter than a mouse-click. This allows players to fire a constant 15 balls per second—faster than many machineguns.

A few Minnesota teams and players have made a name for themselves on the national level, playing for professional teams or helping local teams reach national tournaments. In 2004 Team Splatball, from Splatball Inc. in Minneapolis, and Zumbro Factory, from southern Minnesota, tied for fourth place in the PSP’s Novice season rankings. At the 2006 NPPL Boston event, Air Assault Factory took first place in the Division III category. Air Assault Paintball is an indoor field located about 20 minutes from the Twin Cities. Since the Boston event, Air Assault teams have performed well in several other national events. Minnesota athletes have also played on professional teams like the Philadelphia Americans, Chicago Aftershock, Las Vegas LTZ and more.

Recreational paintball is also popular in the Midwest. Events like the Splat Tag Giant Big Game in Hudson, Wisconsin draw as many as 800 players who duke it out in massive battles. These battles often involve radio communications, tanks, military tactics and many-acre playing fields. Organized teams, like the Wild Bunch and MN Militia, spearhead maneuvers and take the role of Special Forces, seizing and holding important objectives.

If you are interested in paintball, whether tournament or recreational, the best place to learn more is the Minnesota Paintball Internet Guide www.mnpig. com. MNPIG has a comprehensive listing of paintball fields, stores, tournaments and other events, and there is a message board where local players can get answers to almost any paintball-related query. It is also a good idea to stop by a local field and talk to players and employees. Air Assault Paintball www. airassaultpaintball.com and Northside Sports www. northsidesports.com are two good places to start.

\15

www.wakemag.org

Literary/

Literary Events

Old Man and The Fear

By Jeremy Becker Standing at the bus stop, I scratch at my chin, feel rough stubble growing. my sweat smells like cigarettes.

A mantra runs through my head, A poem fueled by alcohol and late nights sanitizing, purifying my thoughts: I take it all back, It bein’ The Fear I’ll mail you the change.

I’m told of an old man, He smells of antibacterial soap and war stories.

He is going back to Energy soon.

Decades of stress leave the old man’s face visibly every day, every time he exhales the wrinkles smooth out and ancient toxins hiss into the air, harmless.

I take it all back, It bein’ The Fear I’ll mail you the change.

Who: Terry McAuliffe What: Author discusses ‘What a Party.’

When: Wed, Feb. 7th, 7:00 pm. FREE Where: University of Minnesota Bookstore (Coffman Memorial Union) Who: Ray Suarez What: The senior PBS correspondent discusses ‘The Holy Vote.’

When: Thu, Feb 8th, 7:00 pm. FREE; tickets required.

Call 651.696.6203.

Where: Macalester College 1600 Grand Ave, St. Paul; 651.696.6000 Who: Nuruddin Farah What: Author discusses his writing When: Thu, Feb. 8th, 7:00 pm. FREE Where: The Loft Literary Center 1011 Washington Ave S, Ste 200 (Open Book), Mpls; 612.215.2575 Who: Writers of Color Reading: Julie Bates; Jessica Lopez Lyman What: Authors read from their work. Hosted by Sherry Quan Lee When: Thu, Feb. 8th, 7:00 pm, FREE Where: Patrick’s Cabaret 3010 Minnehaha Ave S, Mpls; 612.721.3595 Who: Skip Yowell What: Mountaineer and JanSport co-founder discusses ‘The Hippie Guide to Climbing the Corporate Ladder & Other Mountains.’

When: Fri, Feb. 9th, 2:00 pm, FREE Where: University of Minnesota Bookstore (Coffman Memorial Union)

Starlight Open-Mic:

Sponsored by The Wake FRIDAY, FEBR UA RY 9th, 7:00 PM-?:? ?

407 14th Ave. S Minneapolis, M E N 55414 Bring your thou ghts, scribblin’s and instruments.

Who: You What: The Wake presents its first open-mic of 2007 with poetry, stories, music and ideas.

When: Fri, Feb. 9th, 7:00 pm, FREE Where: The Starlight Café 407 14th Ave Se, Minneapolis, MN 55414; (612) 378-3129 Who: May Lee; Shoua Lee; The Un-Named Series: Hmong and Lao Writers What: Readings When: Tue, Feb. 13th, 5:30 pm, FREE Where: The Loft Literary Center 1011 Washington Ave S, Ste 200 (Open Book), Mpls.; 612.215.2575

Interested in writing a book review? jduellman@wakemag.org

16/07–13 February 2007

Photography/

“Tall Trees” by Angie Myhre

Photo contest Win a Holga

18/07–13 February 2007

Send submissions and questions to Ethan Stark at estark@wakemag.org

by Feb 8th

Chewy?

Thanks Google!

Arbitrary Awards Best Star Wars-themed sexual maneuver: “The Obi-Wang Kenobi” Honorable mention: “The Force Choke” Honorable mention: “The Unmasked Vader” Honorable mention: “The Sarlacc Pit” (now possible—Google “Rapex”) Honorable mention: “Going ‘Solo’” Honorable mention: “The Full Chewbacca”

Mixed Nuts 9

By Jeremy Sengly

This is the worst bake sale ever!

\19

www.wakemag.org

Classified Ads wakemag.org/classifieds • 25¢/word

For Sale

Other

Ad space, both here and in the magazine. adamiani@wakemag.org

Guitar Lessons in Como Neighborhood | Beg-Adv Acoust/Elect, Rates OAP | 605-228-5595

HP Deskjet 832C printer w/ good cartridges and cables $30 | 651-291-0827 erinandpete@comcast.net Fedders window air conditioner $50 obo 651-291-0827 erinandpete@comcast.net New Frigidaire black microwave, overthe-range, $150 612-251-0577 dkim40@ yahoo.com New Slumberland full mattress, box spring + frame, $150, 612-251-0577 dkim40@yahoo.com 4 black suitcases: 2 Samsonite, 1 Swiss Army, 1 American Tourister $60obo, 612251-0577 dkim40@yahoo.com

Looking for a drummer and bass player.Heavy metal/industrial genre.

If interested call: 651-492-8692.

Free Lunch and Mural viewing of OM’S LAW, on how to cleanup pollution in a hurry, cheap and easy, safe and sane. From scrap. Daily 11:00 am to noon inside and outside at the Pillsbury-Waite House by the painted Rockfish at 13th and 26th ST S, in Phillips. come, or be hungry.

ARIZ ANON