On Tap Issue 03

On Tap

Issue 3 Fall 2010

Staff

On Tap Managing Editor

Editor in Chief Francesca Zagami

Laurel Kaufmann

“Dreams come true in blue Hawaii. And mine could all come true. This magic night of nights with you.”

Elvis

“Make love when you can.

It’s good for you.”

Kurt Vonnegut

Copy Editor

Senior Designer

Kenny Bush I’v e never been one to brag, but this issue will not fail to entertain, inspire, or kill half an hour of your day. If it does, then I will personally send you a certificate saying that you do not exist!

Have a good read Blazers!

Amy Johstono

Assistant Designer Roberto Leal "Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." - Anton Chekhov

I’m one of those obnoxious people who correct grammatical errors in people’s Facebook statuses. I blame journalism. Like Dan Rather said, it’s as addictive as crack cocaine and can take control of your life.

Photographer Leah Tullis "I don't think I'm easy to talk about. I've got a very irregular head.

And I'm not anything that you think I am anyway."

— Syd Barrett

faculty advisor: Dr. Deborah Hall email: dehall@valdosta.edu Send submissions and correspondence to: ontapvsu@gmail.com issue 3|staff|2

Daniel DeMersseman began his lifelong goal of writing better than James Cameron’s movie dialogues, which he accomplished at the end of puberty, which actually meant it wasn’t a lifelong goal after all but a simple rite of passage into manhood. In the meantime, he’s finishing up his degree in Creative Writing, with a minor in Unemployment or, as they say, “More accurately, a major in Unemployment, with a minor in Creative Writing.”

Dorothy M Watkins I have a rabbit (Kaya which means little sister) and a cat (Spooky named because he’s all black and was found near Halloween). I love the meanings of names, writing, reading, and want to write for a living. I’ve been with the same man for 7 years, and am beginning to wonder where my ring is.

Steven Hinson I just so happen to be a Traditional English major in my fourth year here at the glorious Valdosta State University. I’m a man of few words and many actions, but my actions inspire words, so I suppose it all works out. I look to bring my faith and life into everything.

Jayme R. Parsons I’m a junior and English major who enjoys reading contemporary literature and satire and writing. I have this massive, nagging urge to get out into the world and do something with my life—and it starts with On Tap. “We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.”

--Chuck Palahniuk

Markel Davis Writing is a wordly painting of contemporary development with the foundation of archaic construction. Often misunderstood and underestimated, I ask that you never close your eyes to the truth because in the land of the blind, the man with one eye is the king.

Rebecca Thorn I’m a pop-centric, layout and design junkie, comedy writer who somehow always finds a frozen pizza cooking in my oven, and that makes me happy. I work hard to justify playing hard, because I love my warm South Georgia summer nights playing in parks and floating down rivers.

Jessica Green.

I am a Senior Journalism major and a Theatre Production major.

I am a student, a bartender, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a girlfriend, and a photographer.

Alaina L. Hammond “Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.”

Maya Angelou

issue 3|staff|3

Every Day is Earth Day Jacob Cate

Everyone knows there are many conservation efforts in the world today led by conscientious individuals who seek to give back to a world from which so many only take. The underlying principle that these people understand is that for every time we take from the earth, we should give something back.

Because we have neglected this principle, the world’s environment is in danger. Most of us recycle, but beyond that, we leave it to the tree-huggers.

Logically, we should try to change our lifestyles, but in our petroleum-fueled, 3G iPhone con-

nected lives with instant Big Macs, bottled water, and macho Hummers, trying to convince everyone to give up a little luxury is difficult. For people to make any changes, there must be a fundamental change in their lifestyles, particularly in housing.

Companies like Earthship Biotecture aim to address this issue.

Our houses have complicated systems. Our water is brought in from underground pipe systems. Our heat comes from gas or electrical lines and our food is stored in refrigerators, some of which guzzle energy. We seldom think about where

None of us want to destroy the earth, it’s just too hard and too expensive not to.

issue 3|everyday is earth day|4

these life-sustaining resources originate or how much energy was consumed in their production.

To most of us, living off of the means knowing how to survive in the wild and forage for berries and whatnot. If we had the option to live in houses that produce their own food, water, and electricity for free, a weight would be lifted off both Earth’s and our own backs. None of us want to destroy the earth, it’s just too hard and too expensive not to.

Enter Earthship Biotecture.

safety permits for projects like new Earthships is difficult. In developing countries, however, where permits are far easier to get, or irrelevant completely, these lifestyle revolutionizing structures can be built quite easily with the adequate funding. In places like the earthquake-ravaged Haiti, where new housing is necessary, the Earthship seems to be setting itself afloat in an attempt to start from the ground up.

So, instead of plugging our houses into pipes and wires, we should plug ourselves directly into the earth, the most powerful power plant we’ve got.

An Earthship is a “radically sustainable home made of recycled materials.” The basic frame is built from old tires, compacted with, surprise!, earth. These molds provide inhabitants with thick insulation that keeps heat in when it’s cold and out when it’s warm. This nullifies our need for energy-consuming heating units. Water is collected in underground wells from the rain and snow, where it is filtered and recycled several times for daily use. Electricity is provided from solar panels and wind modules. And the best part is the internal greenhouse and internal/external irrigation system that provides inhabitants with an integrated source of food. In this new kind of home, one could live indefinitely without anything coming in or out from external sources, like power plants.

This all seems like pipe dreams, but this utopia is not so far off. Michael Reynolds, the principal architect and creator of the Earthship mission, has made dream into reality. There are many Earthships already built, with happy inhabitants living their lives. Not only do you never have to deal with utility bills, but your carbon footprint is nil.

Earthships aren’t ugly either! In fact, some are downright breathtaking. Bottles create glorious stained glass windows, cans help with structural integrity of walls, and tires create cheap building material for creative shapes and sizes.

So, let’s start building! Let’s get everyone in an Earthship!

The problem now is in the permits. Because the status-quo for acceptable and safe housing has been shaped by the current energywasting world, getting building permits and issue 3|everyday is earth day|5

5

People you encounter Freshman Year Jayme R. Parsons

Student Advisor Starting college can be a dizzying experience for anyone— take it from someone who missed her first college class because someone told her that all philosophy classes are held in Pound Hall, which, I’ll inform you, is about a mile away from where it actually took place (Thanks for the directions, Jerkface!).

Make

friends fast with your advisor—even if you’re not sure what career you’re aiming towards.

You’ll be scheduling meetings with this person every semester to mark your gradual progress as you slowly chip away time from your stay at VSU.

I know that one reason many of us move away from our respective hometowns is to avoid bumping into the same people constantly, but I’m here to tell you that even in a school that hosts over 10,000 students from all over the country and the world, there are some people who may be worth knowing.

Rebecca Thorn

issue 3|5 people you encounter|6

Tech Crew

You’ll see these guys sitting behind glossy computer screens at the Information Technology Helpdesk as soon as you walk into the main entrance of Odum Library. This knowledgeable bunch can save your life—okay, your academic reputation, at least.

If it’s ten minutes until the start of your next class, and you have a paper that needs to be printed, but you need a quick tutorial on how to make one of those God-awful Mac

But I didn’t say these would all be pleasant experiences. Pay closer attention to this next set of people you’ll meet while navigating through the chaotic labyrinth of college life.

Parking Official

I’ve had my share of parking tickets, and in the dismal pre-parking complex era, the one thing worse than arriving at your car to find one of these notes, is actually seeing the person towering over your thirteen-year-old Honda Civic scribbling away at the ticket pad.

Your initial thought may be to lash out, but I’ve learned that an impassionedyet-rational plea to the officer’s merciful side works most often. Your goal is to get him or her to rip up the ticket, not spit their gum into it and slap it onto your Honda’s windshield.

Rebecca Thorn

computers “go,” they can help you out.

And when you’re frantically slamming the lid of your laptop down onto your exhausted skull, asking the Lord why He hast forsaken thee and blocked all chance of ypicking up an internet connection, the Techies can offer their expertise.

VSU Campus Police: 259-5555 Located at the Oak Street Parking Deck, 2nd Floor Rebecca Thorn

issue 3|5 people you encounter|7

Campus Police Officer

Rebecca Thorn

“Mother and Father Time” Until now, you’ve been used to a standard age range among your peers—except for Rebecca Thorn that guy in the back of your high school classroom who failed English three times and responded with “not here” and a high-pitched snicker every time his name was called during attendance. Today’s job-market is competitive; college isn’t just for the bright and shiny-eyed youth anymore—it’s also for the gray-haired and those over the age of forty, some with little-to-no technological experience.

Don’t doubt the vitality of these audacious oldies; just be prepared to suffer through a few remedial lessons on how to construct a PowerPoint presentation.

Okay, I know most of you young rebels see “the fuzz” as the enemy, but these men and women actually do a lot of good for the campus. Those of you who are returning Blazers can remember the dorm fires, naked creeps, and break-ins that occasionally plague the university. Most days you can find a handful of these officers strewn across the campus.

Granted, I do take issue with the few persnickety ones who enforce a rule that allows bicyclists but not skateboarders the coveted use of the paved walkways around campus. If you ever have a faceto-face encounter with these officers, I hope it’s on pleasant terms. It seems like whenever they gain the public’s attention, there’s some deranged person, naked and roaming the hallways at night; however, I know that if I am ever the victim of a Rebecca Thorn crime, I can trust them to treat me respectfully and do what they can to find justice.

So go ahead, tear this page out and staple it to your school schedule for the semester. Put it in your brand-new, heavy-duty, 3-ring, 5-subject Mead binder, and reread it if you need to review. Just be sure to leave your backpack at home on your first day of college, Freshman, lest you end up searching for the science lab by the swimming pool, courtesy of the senior English major you stopped to ask for directions. issue 3|5 people you encounter|8

In Love

tionship, but he led me on because he knew I wouldn’t have dated him if I knew the truth.”

Want to be The best relationswept off your feet? ships, casual or otherSome women want wise, come from open that fairy tale relacommunication. If tionship and will do Monique would have exanything to get it. pressed her intentions in “It is so hard the beginning, she may to find a guy in colhave avoided some lege that wants to be heartache. in a committed relaCollege relationships tionship,” said can be difficult, but they Monique Andrews, a can also be very simple.

20 year-old student Ashlee Daverna, a 20at Valdosta State year- old attending GeorUniversity. I just gia State University, says, want a guy that loves “A relationship in college to love me.” is so uncomplicated Many college when you’re not looking women try to find for one. Before I got in a love in men that relationship with my want to be alone. boyfriend of two years, I Robert Calloway, anwas alone.

Rebecca Thorn other 20 year-old I was comVSU student, explains, “I want to fortable get married one day, but I’m only enough twenty. I just want to have fun with my[now].” Calloway has the mindset self that I Asya Greenwood of many men in college. They feel did not need a man. My boyfriend that a serious relationship will restrict and I are happy together, because we were contheir youth. tent alone first.”

Some men are very upfront with their Most women and men do not understand lifestyle choices, and women just do not underthat in order to have a successful relationship, a stand. Calloway goes into more detail: “I tell the girls I date that I don’t want anything serious, but person must be comfortable with him or herself..

When pursuing a relationship in college, it sometimes they just want more than I’m willing is important to understand what it takes to make to give them.” a relationship last. Before a person can even think On the other hand, some men keep their about being with someone, he/she must be comroutine a secret because they know most women fortable being alone. Communication is the key to are interested in a monogamous relationship. creating a lasting relationship. Each person must Monique can relate, “I used to talk to a guy that I know what his/her intentions are. Remember, thought was great, until I started talking about dating officially. He said he wasn’t ready for any- honesty is the foundation of a wonderful relationship. thing official, because we were still in college. He knew that I was going to eventually want a rela-

and

in college?

issue 3|in love and in college|9

So many beach

es, So little tim

Jekyll Island, G

e

a

Photo by Stephen

Hinson

I have never known of a beach that could look so hectic and still seem so peaceful. After driving an hour from my house in North Brunswick, Georgia, I still have to drive halfway across Jekyll Island to find this secluded hideaway.

There is no parking lot. There is no pier.

There is nothing to show that this beach is even a reality except the small wooded trail leading from the road to the beach. As I walk through the woods on a sand trail, I begin to wonder if it is all worth it. Then, I step through the trees. The beach finally shows itself. All around me lay gnarled and wrinkled trees preserved by the salt water and wind-blown sand. The sand is a gritty light brown; the water, being South Georgia ocean water, is not clear, but it’s more pristine than it would give itself credit for. It is a beach purist’s paradise.

Bring a hammock or a lover and relax the day away. Bring friends and a cooler of drinks and chill out.

Don’t bring anything but a book and spend your day catching up with yourself. If you are looking to relax, this is the beach for you. issue 3|so many beaches, so little time|10

Being a late arrival to the Panama City Beach scene, I was given to a preconceived notion of a party paradise. Images of surfers, beachcombers, and beach drunks were the sand-dwellers I imagined. After spending a couple of days searching through Panama City Beach, I found a beach where I could experience all the city had to offer. It’s about 3 miles off the main strip right near Margaritaville and a Puerto Rican restaurant.

I have been a water sports enthusiast for thirteen years and Panama City Beach does not disappoint. Beautiful blue gulf water and decent waves give me and my friends just enough of a challenge to Photo be fun. We split equal time beby Jes sica Gre en tween the beach and the town life.

If you’re looking to surf or skim board, this beach is perfect. If you are a chillout-and-build-a-sandcastle kind of person, the powder-fine, bonewhite sand is the perfect getaway for you. If you are looking for a beach with nightlife, this is the place for you. Clubs line the strip as do hotels and restaurants of many shapes, sizes, and flavors. If you’re looking for a beach to go have a good time head down to Panama City Beach, Florida and enjoy yourself.

Panam a

City B

each

Fort Walton Beach, Florida. Feel like going to a beach with nightlife? Try this place out. With Destin one city over and plenty of clubs to offer any party-goers, Fort Walton Beach is worth trying out.

So what kind of club are you looking for? If you are looking for a rock and roll club, you should check out Howl at the Moon. With a couple of in-house piano players and a few local Southern Rock bands showing up on the weekends to play, een r G it’s a rocker’s place to hole up for ica Jess o by t o h a night.

P If you are looking for something that caters to bigger bands, you should look into The Swamp. With bands appearing such as Saliva, the Ying Yang Twins, Collective Soul, and Chevelle, this club caters to the concert types.

ch a e nB

to l a W t r o F

issue 3|so many beaches, so little time|11

Sneakerhead Sneakerhead

Markel Davis

it’s about asthetics and expressions of idividuality We all have that one thing we notice when meeting a person for the first time. For some people, it may be an individual’s eyes or smile and others may look at body composition. As for myself, I take a quick glance at the person’s feet. This might seem strange, but shoes are my thing. I love eyes and a pretty smile just as much as the next person, but a nice pair of sneakers can make a first impression turn from good to great.

Shoes are an important article of clothing. The right pair can make or break an outfit issue 3|sneakerhead|12

and in turn, say a lot about who you are. It’s a sad fact, but people form judgments quickly based on the clothes you wear and the condition they are in.

The truth is the same for shoes. Sneakers aren’t just things you put on your feet.

They are a form of expression that shed light into your personality and your taste in fashion. Trends are forever coming and going - from baggy clothes to more form-fitting attire - but the presence of fly sneakers holds its place in the fashion realm.

In 2010, sneaker purchases have been on the rise

like never before. It is one thing to go purchase a pair of sneakers every so often, maybe once every six months, but there are sneaker fanatics who purchase a mean pair twice a month.

These select sneaker addicts are what the urban world would call sneakerheads. Sneakerhead is a term given to an individual who is so infatuated with sneakers that he knows when a certain shoe is going to be released, where it will be released, and will pretty much sell his liver on the black market to purchase the shoes.

With the rising popularity of sneakers in today’s society,

sneakerheads are seen becoming more prevalent.

Common brands of shoes like Nike, Air Jordans, and Reeboks are forever in the spotlight today. These brands, along with a few others, have made a huge impact on the footwear world since their company’s establishment. Forever in search of fresh new shoe concepts, today’s youth are these companies’ source for their sneaker census to develop the next top--seller.

Nike, Air Jordan, and Reebok all reached their peak in the 1980’s. This decade was a period of extreme fashion - from polyester prints to bright neon colors and acid washed jeans.

The near blinding hues of yellows, oranges, and greens became the cat’s meow for 80’s trendsetters, and sneaker companies boarded that train as well. The latest were found in city malls and clothing stores, just like they are today. They say history has a way of repeating itself, and there is always a longing for the past---such is true for sneakers, too. The bright color and retro styles of the 1980’s and 90’s are being resurrected from the dead and grabbing the eyes of shoe lovers today.

Being a sneakerhead is a demanding hobby; some would even consider it a fulltime job. There is a continuous thirst for gathering breaking news about shoe releases and

style ideas. Recently, with the popularity and accessibility of blogs, internet websites are now posting up to the minute updates on sneakers. Sneakerheads have to have a strong network of insiders at shoe stores like Footlocker, Foot Action, and Finishline. This involves having VIP memberships with the stores and knowing shoe salespeople who can ensure great purchases. Individuality also plays a huge part.

“You can’t be scared to pick something different and unusual,” Mitch McNeil, marketing major at Valdosta State University and admitted sneakerhead, says. “That’s the beauty of having a love for sneakers. You can buy a pair and catch peoples’ eyes and boost your confidence at the same time. Few have the proper appreciation for shoes, especially exclusive shoes because they aren’t comfortable. I own over 60 pairs of shoes and all of them are different in their own way.”

As times change, so do brands and the popularity they once possessed. Powerhouses like Nike, Air Jordan, and Converse will forever stay timeless because their retro undertone and continuous creative marketing and advertising ideas.

New sneaker brands are slowing emerging in the fashion world though, adding a spark in sneaker trends and sales.

Companies like Vans, Supra, and Creative Recreations are developing fresh styles, and their shoes are stomping on pavement now. Sneaker blogs and online magazines are becoming busy with entries from these new companies trying to acquire young fans and street credibility. Nice kicks.com and Sneakerhead.com are hot spots for sneaker lovers to get the inside scoop on sneaker releases.

“It’s my job to be on top of the sneaker shoe, I mean, I sellsale shoes,” Timothy Middleton, a Valdosta State graduate and employee at the Colonial Mall Foot Locker says.

“Looking at various blogs and knowing what shoes are coming out helps me with my sales at work. I can give insight to customers and give my friends a head’s up on anticipated releases.”

In the eyes of a true sneakerhead, shoes are murals in motions, artistic landscapes with laces. The desires to be fresh, appealing, and a trendsetter are shared by all sneakerheads. I myself own over 40 different pairs of sneakers, diverse in brand, style, color, and comfort. The thrill of scoping a shoe out online, imagining them on your feet, waiting anxiously for them to come out, and making that trip to the mall to enjoy that new shoe aroma.

issue 3|sneakerhead|13

issue 3|wanee|14

Written by Francesca Zagami, photograhed by Leah Tullis

I

woke up Friday on the tent floor to “Sugaree” by 7 Walkers featuring Bill Kreutzman. Later, I remember sing-screaming “No Woman, No Cry” with The Wailers before returning to camp and eating the peanut butter sandwich to end all PBSes, then running lunaticlike to catch Bob Weir playing in Scaring the Children, getting lost at camp to the sounds of Widespread Panic as the sun was setting, and trekking back to the stage to let loose with The Allman Brothers Band before walking back to camp to the sounds of Gov’t Mule accompanying our stroll.

Saturday started out slow,

sleep-shopping to the sounds of Bobby Lee Rodgers Trio, Hill Country Revue and The Word featuring John Medeski, Robert Randolph and North Mississippi Allstars before heading to the Peach Stage to be awakened by the fierceness of The Black Keys. Afterwards, Widespread Panic whipped me into a frenzy that peaked when Warren Haynes joined the band on “North” and exploded when, after an hour that passed in a second, as dusk descended into darkness, the Brothers took the stage and proceeded to play a indescribable show that encored with “Midnight Rider” which transitioned into “Mountain Jam” and then briefly dabbled

in “Dazed and Confused” before segueing back into Mountain Jam for the finish. All riled up, we headed down to the Mushroom Stage for the Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi Band midnight show but the crowd was kinda sketch and our hearts weren’t in it. We headed back to camp to reflect around the fire about Wanee and what makes it so damn special.

Show-goers imbibe a sense of solidarity alongside whatever other substances they absorb.

The energy at Wanee was particularly intense and the camaraderie was contagious.

Introductions were followed by hugs instead of handshakes and

issue 3|wanee|15

the love was everywhere. A friend who spent the last half of Weir in front of the port-a-potties, holding her upset stomach and waiting out a wave of nausea, reported that nearly everyone who walked by stopped to offer assistance… As it turned out, a little time and good vibes cured her bellyache and soon enough she was back where she belongeddancing beside me on our Rainbow Bright blanket. Another member of our crew was chilling on a blanket during the show, lamenting his shoelessness when a random stranger appeared and presented him with a pair of shoes and a smile.

These are but a few examples of the love that I found.

Most of the 20,000 people who journeyed to Live Oaks, Fla. for the sixth-annual music festival left with brightly colored memories of an unforgettable weekend of beautiful music and life-long friends that were intriguing strangers a mere 72 hours earlier. Consider carefully which inhibitions you hold on to and which you let go.

Big Brother is always awake and he never misses a good show.

Don’t bring anything illicit to the show, but if you must, transport and indulge discreetly. Remember that it’s easier to get caught in broad daylight so exercise some patience and wait till nightfall to light up. Be wary of any older gentlemen that want to purchase or sell anyissue 3|wanee|16

thing. In fact, bring your own stuff and forgo the sketchiness of show-side

deals altogether.

The hardest part of going to Wanee is leaving.

And no, I am not talking about the painstakingly slow line of vehicles inching out of the park on the final day, although that is admittedly lame. I’m talking about walking around for days afterwards wondering how you can possibly exist in a world you don’t belong in, surrounded by people you can’t connect with.

You’ll find yourself mid conversation with a boss or professor and suddenly the grass tickles your bare feet as you stumble into a twirl under a midnightpurple sky to the sugary goodness of Sweet Melissa on a chilly April night. A magical musical experience like Wanee renders you incapable of participating in the mundane nuances of normal life.

Sure, you can run home and pop in a Panic or Allman Bros CD, close your eyes and let the music wash over you and, yes, it helps. But nothing saves you from the truth.

Wanee is over and 365 days must be endured before you can return to that spot in the woods where everything you need fits into a tent and the 20,000 friends you haven’t made yet wait for you and your favorite bands to come together again.

See you there next year, friend.

By: Laurel Kaufmann

By: Kenny Bush K: This can’t be happening.

L: Of course it can.

K: I don’t believe it.

L: Well, believe it, mister.

Women now make up half of the workforce in the United States. And, even better, college graduation statistics show that women have become more ambitious than their male counterparts. Seems like a woman’s world now, eh?

K: Crap, I knew we should have never let you chicks read.

L: Chicks? What exactly are you trying to say? Misogynist..

this nationwide castration of your male pride in the business world.

K: So you aim to turn this male dominated society into a female dominated paradise?

K: Oh come on. This doesn’t change anything. The glass ceiling is still intact. You ladies still make 77 cents to every dollar a man makes.

L: Don’t be silly. We already dominate society. We just don’t get paid enough for it.

L: Because you’re all a bunch of ass holes...

L:You buy us drinks, dinner, and would willingly walk through fire to get laid.

K: Also, we control all three branches of government and high majority of the fortune 500 companies. We’re still The Alpha dog in the relationship, little girl.

K: Yeah, well-wait…

L: Dog sounds about right. But, let me assure you, and that poor excuse for a libido-

L: Never!

K: Oh, what the f—

K: You took my font!?

L: Hush, mutt. Anyway, those are just technicalities. Women, despite being held back for so many centuries, finally have the opportunity to catch up. We have goals and the ambition to reach them. Women are empowering themselves to overcome every obstacle thrown in our paths. It’s only a matter of time before we finally have equal wages.

L: That’s right! No longer will we be represented by pink, the submissive color to red. Red is ours now!

K: I think you’ve gone mad with imaginary power.

L: Oh, this must be what it feels like to be a man. Well, how it USED to feel. You know, before

K: …Pardon?

K: …

L: Cat got your tongue?

K: No, just realizing how much money this exchange of power is going to save me.

L: How so?

K: Well, seeing as you ladies will soon take over the work force.

Then you won’t mind paying for the drinks, dinner, and other expenses that comes with playing the dominate role in society.

L: Oh, sure. Just be prepared to walk though that aforementioned hellfire if you want anything afterwards.

K: Dominance through a sex embargo. Sufferage has come a long way, baby. issue 3|battle of the sexes|17

Don’t Condemn Your Car To Complacency!

by Steven Hinson Since its creation, the automobile has been the source of stress, anger and hair loss among all those who have ever had the privilege to own one. Maybe showing you ten tips to take better care for your car will cause you to retain a little spending money, as well as a little sanity.

1. Keep your tires inflated! Doing this will not only increase your fuel efficiency by up to 15%, it can also increase your tire life by almost a year! You should pay special attention to your tires during temperature changes. Ten degrees can change the pressure up to 2 psi!

2. Check your air filter! Like humans, a car needs to breathe. Breathing through a dirty medium has never done anyone any good.

Keep your filter clean and let your car get that “cool breath of fresh air” that it so longs for and you can up its efficiency by a possible 10 percent.

3. Park in the shade! As this is a situation sought after by most people, this one isn’t that hard. Did you know that parking in the sun can ruin your paint job? It can also cause your gas to evaporate at a faster rate! That is zero MPG! So park in the shade and save your car’s paint, personality, and your pocket!

4. Don’t be stingy with your car! It is nice to dote on your car every now and then! Buy

issue 3|don’t condemn your car|18

a cool air intake (10-20 percent increase in efficiency)! Buy some fuel injector cleaner or a gas treatment system, which is available at any gas station! If you put a little money in ahead of time, you can save some money over time!

5. Keep your car clean-inside and out! A clean car has multiple benefits. Not only does it portray a greater pride in your vehicle, it can increase the aerodynamics of your vehicle, resulting in getting better gas mileage. By keeping unneeded items out of your car (clothing, books, moochers, etc.), you can decrease your car’s rolling mass, making each trip a bit easier on your car!

6. Stick with the trucks! When driving down the highway, stay close to or behind semi trailers. These behemoths usually coast at a constant speed. By staying a safe distance behind them, you can maintain a good speed and save some money!

7. Carpool with friends! If you and some friends are all heading to the same place, ride in the same car! If all of you want to get out of town for awhile, use the most efficient vehicle available and help chip in for gas! If you and your roommate go to the same side of campus near the same time, hitch a ride with each other!

9. Name your car! This one may sound funny, but it is a proven fact that all named items retain a personal place in the owner’s feelings. Name your car and you will have a special connection to it, which will not only increase your care for it, but it is a stated and proven fact that this can increase gas mileage!

10. Don’t drive! Simple as that. If it is a beautiful day, then ride your bike. If you don’t have a bike, then take a stroll through the neighborhood. Catch a bus.

Take a Segway. There are plenty of ways to save fuel. Try it and see!

8. Don’t hate on the cruise control! If you are taking a long trip, the cruise control is your best friend. Get in the right lane, set your cruise control to the speed limit and relax! You won’t lose much time and you will save money on not having to pay for those Super Speeder tickets!

issue 3|don’t condemn your car|19

Old

TO

New:

A Woman’s guide to Recession-Proofing a closet

Jessica Matty

We asked Rebecca Martin Vice President of Operations of Corsetstyling.com: What is one piece of clothing to keep?

A crisp, white, button-down blouse.

What to Ditch?

Anything faded black What are the cheapest chic clothing stores?

Depends, best way to buy is online at great prices. Ebay is great for finding designer things cheaper online. You can find Coupons online while staying in retail prices.

Are designers changing their clothing lines to become more affordable to the average woman?

Vera Wang has a line at Kohls. She built the line in before the recession New styles/colors for fall?

Purples are still in, but use sparingly with tights and deep emerald greens Could you describe the Fall Fashion of 2009 in 3 words?

1980s, bold colors, and accessorized What magazine is your favorite? Why?

InStyle: It has a nice mix of editorial coverage of what stars and real people are doing and wearing. issue 3|old to new|20

Then, we asked Wendy Bryant Gow a Wardrobe Stylist- Image Consultant: How can women of all ages save money when shopping for that ‘perfect outfit’?

Shop not to shop just sales, make a list, always go classic styles, avoid the trends, they become costly and fall in and out of style quickly. KEEP BUDGET! Shop new trends in accessories rather than in clothing What look do you feel is coming back in style?

Every era is represented in every year’s trends, example: The Vest>1960’s, Leggings>1970’s, Biker boots> 1950s. What you will always find is how creative fashion is.

What is one piece of clothing every woman should own?

A simple, sleeveless, black dress

What are 5 simple ways women can creatively update their wardrobe in your opinion?

-- Always start with a good lingerie fitting. Undergarments need to be the right fit and right size -- Work from the bottom up. Find your appropriate silhouette. Dressy, flowy, wide leg pants look great on everyone!

-- Every woman should own a classic white blouse.

-- A nice Blazer: tweed, black or navy that will look nice with denim or dressed up.

-- Great versatile bag What are some of the must-have accessories?

Animal print, mixed media chunky necklaces, an “It” bag, find prices at every level. A nice, slouchy, tote bag within your budget.

Don’t blow your entire budget on one pricey accessory. issue 3|old to new|21

PROCRASTINATION STATION!

Let the train miss you.

Steps to help you get it done.

Story and Photos by Markel Davis

No wonder students are resorting to excuses; we only retain 10% of what we read, and 20 percent of what we hear. At least that’s what Nicholas Aretakis, author of No More Ramen: The 20-Something’s Real World Survival Guide, reveals in his book.

Professors can’t expect us to actually ace our tests and do our homework, right? Wrong! It takes some effort, but with just a few simple changes to your procrastination habits, you can get that A. issue 3|procrastination station|22

First, open your PLANNER (or go out and buy one if you haven’t already). Next: use it. . As soon as you receive a syllabus, write down the entire semester’s work, including deadlines and study time. Also, pencil in some “social” time, because, let’s face it, you’re going to need it.

Next, PRIORITIZE. Cramming 37 hours of activities into 24 hours is impossible unless you rank what you have to do in order of importance. Use a number system or stars and symbols to organize the tasks you just wrote into your planner.

PLAINLY,

just do it now. Lay out a course of action, two hours for this paper, and one hour for studying.

Try to stay off YouTube, Facebook, & Twitter, and get to it done!

Have more than one assignment to do? Dr. Daniela Schreier, assistant professor at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology, recommends treating your schoolwork like dinner, finish your first helping before starting on your second.

PLUCK completed tasks off the list.

Take a marker and cross that baby out.

That action alone will feel rewarding.

Following these rules, you’ll have hours to spare. Reward yourself with Starbucks, ice cream from Marble Slab, or watch a re-run of Lost. Perhaps even celebrate with the fifth simple P: PARTY!

issue 3|procrastination station|23

Opera for everyone Dorothy Watkins

Music. Drama. Love and tragedy. Once thought of as only entertainment for the rich, opera is now available to the common folk.

Dorothy Watkins issue 3|opera for everyone|24

From an adaptation of William Shakespeare’s Hamlet , which is set in Denmark, to Giuseppe Verdi’s Aida, which is set in Egypt, opera offers a variety of cultural experiences and an exciting look into a fascinating art form.

For the past three years, the Metropolitan Opera in New York City has offered a simultaneous broadcast of their live productions all over America. These operas are produced in classic Italian and are broadcast from places as far away as California to places as close as…home. Valdosta Stadium Cinemas has participated in the Simulcast Experience since its inception three years ago. Imagine the beauty and glamour of the Italian opera without the cost and with the convenience of the movie theater.

Marilyn Kemper, a frequent patron, has experienced the comfort of the local simulcast, but also the invigorating Metropolitan Opera and the exotic opera in Italy. In Italy, she recalled, during our impromptu interview, the people would sing along with the actors. “However nice it was in Italy and New York,” she said, “the simulcast experience has several benefits that are not available in other formats.”

Before the opera starts, another opera singer will interview one or two members of the cast, and sometimes the maestro. This background gives insight into why certain singers were picked for their part and why they are a good match for their part. These little tidbits help the audience understand the opera culture better. For example, at the end of every interview they say, “toi, toi, toi,” which translates roughly as “good luck.”

The ability to see the backstage setup provides an interesting experience for the audience.

The detail of the setup can show everything from the veining on the “marble” and the lights and shadows to the embroidery on the costumes. This detail is shown while the cameras pan around the crew setting up the stage for the next act or scene.

In addition to being able to see all the backstage action, the simulcast opera offers all the comforts of home with the absence of excessive crowds with the benefit of being able to eat and drink in the theater. The price tag is much lower than a ticket to see the live performance at

the Metropolitan Opera in New York. It's close to home, and even when the show sells out, theaters do not hold as many people as the Met does.

This absence of crowds, and a much larger parking lot, makes getting home easier than it would be in New York, eliminating the need to hail a taxi. In addition, intermissions integrated into the performance allow the audience to take bathroom breaks or refill drinks and popcorn; items that are not allowed in the theater at the Met. The 2009-2010 season for the HD simulcast productions included Armida, Hamlet (as adapted by Abroise Thomas), Tosca, Aida, Turnandot, Les Contes d'Hoffmann, Der Rosenkavalier, Carmen, and Simon Boccanegra.

The best part of these simulcast productions is that they are recast a week and a half later on a Wednesday night. They are originally cast on Saturday afternoons.

The upcoming season 2010-2011 will include the following productions. In October Wagner's Das Rheingold will open on the 9th, followed two weeks later by Mussorgsky's Boris Godunov on the 23rd. November continues the star-studded operas with Donizetti’s Don Pasquale on the 13th. December opens on the 11th with a favorite of the Metropolitan, Verdi’s Don Carlo. January opens with Puccini's La Fanciulla Del West on the 8th. February ends with Gluck's Iphigénie en Tauride on the 26th.

March 19th, Donizetti returns with Lucia di Lammermoor. April is packed with productions on the 9th, with Rossini's Le Comte Ory, Strauss's Capriccio on 23rd, and the following week concludes on the 30th with Verdi's Il Trovatore. In May, the HD season will conclude with Wagner's Die Walküre, or The Valkerie, on the 14th; which is where the stereotypical Viking opera singer originates.

While opera in any form or place is both entertaining and culturally enriching, it is cheapest and, perhaps, most informative, in live HD simulcast performances. The Metropolitan Opera’s simulcast performances make opera more accessible to the common man. From tragedy to comedy, opera offers many different ways to experience this dynamic art form.

issue 3|opera for everyone|25

Jimmy

Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefer band mesmerized and energized fans in Columbia, SC’s Colonial Life Arena February 23, 2010.

Jimmy opened the showed with Lage Nom Ai and delivered many fan favorites including Come Monday, Margaritaville, and Southern Cross.

issue 3|jimmy buffett’s|26

Buffett’s

As a 10 year fan, the opportunity to see Jimmy live was mind blowing. To hear the songs that had gotten me through many a bad moodbrought me to tears. I was in the midst of the perfect blend of fantasy and reality. That was night to treasure for the rest of my parrothead life.

All photos by Jessica Green

Jimmy closed the evening with a solo acoustic version of He Went to Paris and sent fans home with a perfect parrothead smile.

S u m m e r z c o o l T o u r

issue 3|jimmy buffett’s|27

DON’T PANIC! A guide to start up after your break down

Jessica Green

Dorothy Watkins You’re driving along, minding your own business, but when you turn onto the interstate, your car dies without warning.

Suddenly, you are in the middle of the on-ramp with few places to go and no way to get there. Don’t panic.

After a few simple steps, you can be on your way without calling a tow.

and try starting the car. This will get the gas moving towards the starter. Your car died because it couldn’t run on fumes any longer.

have killed your battery by doing this. Pop your hood and get out the jumper cables. Since you can’t move your car by yourself (well, maybe you can, but we’ll pretend you can’t) and you’re in the middle of the road, it’s extremely likely that someone will stop and give you a jump. If you’ve followed the steps so far, you may be on your way.

You’re driving along, minding your own business, when you turn onto the interstate and…your If your car still isn’t working at point, things can get car dies! What do this sticky. You’ve now got gas in your tank, the battery is you do?

First, check your gas gauge. Hmm…forgot to fill up? That’s okay because you remembered to stock your car with a small gas tank and there’s usually a gas station at the exits. Go back to the gas station and get a gallon of gas. Fill your gas tank issue 3|don’t panic|28

In a more likely scenario, you probably panicked as you tried to start your car. You might

charged and your car still isn’t running. More than likely, you weren’t paying attention to something that seemed insignif-

icant at the time, as I myself have done, although it becomes disastrous later. But, it’s okay because you have a cell phone.

What did you say? Your cell is dead? If you have a regular cell phone, and not a pre-paid, then you have a solution. These phones have a reserve batter and, to access it, all you have to do is press *4720#. This will activate the hidden power. Now that you have enough power to call a tow, find out what it was that you ignored.

One time, I ignored a puddle underneath my car. I was in a public place and took no notice of it; turned out my car was overheating. When I had pulled out and was on my way, my car started slowing down and then simply wouldn’t go. I had plenty

of battery power, and I had more than a half-tank of gas, but I didn’t have a cell phone. So I sat on the side of the interstate until a cop came by to give me a ride to the nearest town where I got a tow and then called my dad for help. All from the fact that I failed to realize that the temperature gauge never changed, indicating that it wasn’t working, which led to the overheating, the ignored puddle, and finally to being stranded on the side of I-75 for hours.

Essentials Jumper cables Spare gas tank Charged cell phone

Prevention Checklist Full gas tank?

Charged battery?

Regular maintenance?

Jessica Green issue 3|don’t panic|29

The Anti-Aging Craze: Searching for the face of a supermodel Lacey Bearden

Women know, perhaps more than

anyone, growing up can be tough. As we get older, the visible effects of aging start to show on our faces: wrinkles, laugh lines, and crow’s feet.

Living in a largely youth-centric society, women need to find realistic ways to look younger and are trying every cream, serum, lotion, and masque on the market. Signs of aging are inevitable, but there are many products which claim to delay or reduce those deep wrinkles dreaded by women.

Believe it or not, even supermodels eventually grow older. They too have to find ways to preserve and protect their skin as the natural aging process begins.

One of America’s most recognizable faces, former supermodel Cindy Crawford, has graced the covers of magazines such as Vogue, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Allure, and others since she began her modeling career in 1986. Crawford, now 43, has a complexion which seems to show very minimal signs of aging, even in the photos featured in the fashion magazine, Harper’s Bazaar, where she was asked to strip off her make-up and pose allnatural for the article, “Supernatural: Supermodels without makeup.”

She, along with many other women, owes her flawless appearance to Dr. Jean-Louis Se-

issue 3|the anti-aging craze|30

bagh, one of Europe’s well-known cosmetic surgeons and president of the French Laser Medical Association.

“My job involves 'aging maintenance.' I take care of beautiful women who want to stay beautiful for as long as possible. I only take people on for treatment who already feel good about themselves,” Sebagh said.

“I can help to slow the aging process down, but I can't stop it.”

The secret to his success and to perfect skin, interestingly enough, can be

found with a fruit. Over the past 15 years, Sebagh mus said. “Most of the items have the melon exhas been conducting research on the natural antract, but not all.” tioxidant found in a rare French melon extract.

There are many anti-aging products on the He has been using the melon extract formula on market today, and women everywhere are huntmany celebrity clients like Crawford who are able ing for the magical cream that will instantly make to afford these facial treatments conducted only them young and beautiful. Almost every product in Europe. Eventually, he found a way to bottle comes with positive and negative reviews. While the extract without it going bad, developing it in expensive vitamins or botox injections may be on 2005 as a key ingredient in his own line of beauty every aging woman’s wish list, not everyone can products known as Meaningful Beauty. afford or muster up the courage to undergo the “I’m no genius or miracle worker. I just needle. Skin care is a personal preference; it’s all take certain ingredients about what the and formulate them, individual My job involves 'aging maintenance.' much like cooking,” woman prefers.

I take care of beautiful women who Sebagh said.

The reality is The skin-care sys- want to stay beautiful for as long as that some peotem is made up of prodpossible. I only take people on for treat- ple want the ucts including: a daily ment who already feel good about them- perks of adultmoisturizer, night cream, hood without selves. I can help to slow the aging facial cleansing wash, accepting the process down, but I can't stop it. glowing serum, eye natural and incream, neck and chest evitable process Dr. Jean-Louis Sebagh cream, as well as a facial of aging; howmasque. Crawford and ever, to be Sebagh claim these prodyoung forever is ucts keep the skin resilient and protect against simply not an option. the formation of free radicals. The beauty prodYou can run from it, or you can embrace it ucts containing the extract allow a more obtainand become comfortable with the skin you’re in. able and affordable way to attempt slowing down Breathe deep; tell yourself that age is just a numthe aging process. ber. Staying healthy and having a positive outDonna Polhemus, 40, a sales person for look on the person you’ve become over-powers Meaningful Beauty in Atlanta, Ga., has witnessed the concept of age. Happiness and quality of life many satisfied customers who continue to purmean so much more than numbers or a few laugh chase the skin care line from her. lines.

“The best-seller in the line is the Glowing Serum, but it is also the most expensive,” Polhe-

“

”

issue 3|the anti-aging craze|31

Where am I gonn Finding and moving into a new apartment can be a stressful process, especially after living in the dorms of a college or university. It’s easy to be overwhelmed by. Fortunately, some advance planning can help make rental housing choices easier.

FOR RENT FOR FOR RENT by owner RENT apartment FOR FOR RENT RENT Decide What to Look For

College students searching for a new apartment should first decide on what they are looking for.

Some common factors that college students should take into consideration are:

• Upstairs or downstairs?

• Corporate-managed apartment or an independently-leased building?

Corporate-managed apartments are complexes that allow you to sign one lease for two or three people to occupy one apartment.

Independently-leased apartments let each roommate sign a lease as a liability lease so roommates aren’t penalized if one roommate is late with their rent.

• Urban area or the suburbs?

• Close to grocery stores, school, work, leisure activities, and friends?

• Amenities?

Swimming pools, exercise rooms and dishwashers are luxuries that can drive up the price of an apartment.

• Utilities included in the rent? issue 3|where am i gonna live|32

?

na live

Markel Davis

Decide where to look

The first place many people look when they start their apartment search is the classified section of the newspaper. While classified apartment listings can provide valuable leads on available apartments, college students may want to consider using multiple sources to give themselves the best possible selection.

• Try online postings for off-campus student housing through the university. Student housing departments have postings of available rentals.

• Many landlords will put signs up in front of their building without advertising in the classifieds. College students should cruise their desired neighborhood in order to see rental opportunities as soon as they become available.

• Ask friends and family if they know of anyone who is moving or who may be renting out soon.

• Inquire with management as to available rental units in other company-owned buildings.

Inspect prospective apartments carefully

Check out the apartmen at night. Get a "feel" for the neighborhood and what the lighting is like outside the building.

• Bring friends and family with you. They may notice important details you miss.

• Ask neighbors about the area.

• Ask the previous tenets for the inside scoop about the property and landlords if at all possible.

• Keep a list of the prices and pros and cons of each place because as you look at issue 3|where am i gonna live|33 more and more places, they all start to blend together.

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Dear Reader,

While hundreds of people were piling into theatres worldwide to attend the premiere of "Dear John" on February 5, 2010, I was sprawled out on my bed, deeply immersed in the book. Call me old fashioned, but the book is always better than the movie. Anyways, I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning finishing the book, and I must say that I was very impressed. Nicholas Sparks creates a world in which love is the only thing holding his characters together, then they are forced to be apart. Not only is "Dear John" a love story between a man and his lover, but it's also about the love between a father and his son, a soldier and his country.

John is a slacker who joins the Army for the simple fact that he doesn't know what else to do with his life. He comes home on leave and meets Savannah, a sweet girl who's spending her summer volunteering for the good of the community; the connection between the two is instant. After September 11th, the couple’s lives are changed forever. The couple must part when John chooses to extend his time in Iraq. After a short summer together, the two lovers keep in touch through letters to one another until they can be together again. Savanna's faithful letters arrive farther and farther apart. In her last letter, she informs John that she's fallen for another man in his absence.

Although told from a soldier's point of view, the story gives us an intimate look at how the war in Iraq has affected not just soldiers, but families and friendships as well. John struggles with his own internal war, the one between the undying love he has for Savannah and the sense of duty and loyalty he feels for his fellow soldiers. One of the most interesting dynamics in the story was the relationship between John and the men he fought beside. I always think that soldiers are so courageous because they fight for their country, but according to John they are fighting for their fellow men. They are fighting to protect the soldier who has stood beside them during some of the most frightening times of their lives.

issue 3|dear reader|34

As much as I pray for the soldiers in Iraq, I pray for their families even more. My father was a Master Sergeant in the Air Force and was often away on duty for months at a time. I cried every time he left, but not once did I consider how his long absences affected my mother. She never let on that she was struggling, but I know that being a working mom dealing with two kids and keeping up with the household duties single-handedly couldn't have been easy. My parents are still happily married, but unfortunately this isn't a reality for many military couples. As it was in "Dear John," the time apart and the constant pain that comes from saying goodbye more often than hello proves to be too much for couples to handle. The least I can do for the soldiers that make sacrifices every day so that I can enjoy the liberties of freedom is send them a letter of gratitude.

Keep Reading, Alaina Hammond

P.S. If you'd like to send support to the soldiers,

like Savannah did for John through her letters, go to: www.letterstosoldiers.org/formletter.html

issue 3|dear reader|35

By: Kenny Bush Dearly Beloved,

we are gathered here today to mourn the death of common sense, taken from us too early in life and, oddly enough, by the very species that once held it in the highest regards. But know, my brothers and sisters, that this is no time for sorrow and grief…

There will be plenty of time for that while you’re serving your murder sentences.

Yes, common sense is dead and we’re the ones responsible for its demise. To make matters worse, I’m afraid that it was an incredibly slow death that stretched out for decades. As we grew more arrogant and dependant on various devices to do our thinking for us, the mortality rate for common sense dropped. The absence of the guiding hand of common sense has now become painfully obvious in everyday life. I have lost count of how many times I have seen students run out into oncoming traffic just because they didn’t want to wait for the crosswalk. People continue to fail at preparing themselves for such things as school exams and job interviews, even though the repercussions of such laziness have been made VERY clear. And, for whatever stupid and self-involved reason, people can’t put away their cell phones regardless of class, presentations, or traffic.

Let me make this clear: We live in an ADD positive society made up of klutzes and ignore-its.

Most people can barely manage to walk and text issue 3|the death of common sense|36

at the same time. Don’t tempt fate by messing with your cell phone while driving your car.

Whether it’s talking on the cell phone or updating your Twitter, no amount of useless information that you wish to share with the world is worth endangering your life or that of others. There will be plenty of time for being a Twit when you’ve stopped the car. Even drunk drivers have the courtesy of focusing on what they’re doing… to the best of their ability, anyway.

Without common sense, people have also become incredibly vulnerable to information. Regardless of how outrageous a statement should appear, it can make perfect sense to a select group of people under certain circumstances. Case in point: Politics.

If there were masterminds behind common sense’s death, it would have to be politicians and big media. No other combined forces have tried so persistently to convince people that they are not capable of thinking for themselves. Worst part, they succeeded. Even politicians, who should know how debate works, reduced themselves to name calling. In the health care debates, one political party accused the opposition of being communists, fascists, and socialists. Republicans, you can’t use those words interchangeably. Also, don’t add “liberal” as a prefix for any of those words. Any dictionary will explain to you how ridiculous that sounds and common sense would tell you that it takes more than health care

reform to reshape a government.

Don’t look so smug, Democrats.

You’re the ones who thought the Patriot Act was Bush’s big brother conspiracy to take over the country. If common sense had been around, instead of dying on the side of the road, you would have realized that federal law enforcement doesn’t have the manpower to recklessly wiretap everyone in the country. Not even the people who created such fear mongering scenarios. America is the only country that demands that the government protect them from all forces, both foreign and domestic, but also demand that it do so with one hand tied behind its backs and without sacrifice from the public.

Where is the sense in that?

I fear for the America that is without its common sense. However, the future doesn’t have to be without it for long. Common sense can come back to life at any time, but we have to put some effort into it.

Pay attention to what you are doing. Educate yourself on any topic before you make an argument. Take everything a politician tells you with a grain of salt.

Politicians are, in fact, glorified salesmen trying to sell you a faulty product. When confronted with political policy, always ask, “What’s the downside and how does it compare to opposing policies?” You might be surprised to find that most things produced on Capitol Hill aren’t perfect. Beware of those who tell you otherwise.

I’m sure this sounds like I’m just picking on the country. However, I only say this because I care. I love America. It’s the only place I ever want to live. There’s definitely a reason why our nation has such a major impact on the world.

In short: America is the captain of the varsity football team.

But when the grades come in…

Well, we’re nowhere close to becoming valedictorian.

issue 3|the death of common sense|37

Top

5 Movies

that define college life

Markel Davis

How will I make friends? Should I join a sorority/fraternity? What if my roommate and I don’t get along? These are a few of the questions that all students have in mind as they enter college. The only way to get the answers is by living the life of a college student -- but that doesn't mean that the movie industry can't try to capture the truth of these quality years.

The collection of movies that attempt to portray the college experience is truly astounding. Most of them feature actors and actresses who party all the time, drink ‘til they drop, and cut class without consequences. As college students, we know that university life is not always like that, but it doesn't mean that we aren't still hooked. After many hours and many movies, I have chosen the top five film depictions of the college experience for your viewing pleasure. So sit back, grab a beer, and wish that your life could be this crazy!

Animal House This was the first of the “college-themed” movies and, as such, it had an undeniable influence on future comedic-teen films. The film has everything from toga parties to excessive drinking to controversies between the Greeks. It's no wonder that, among all the students polled, Animal House has been consistently ranked as one of the greatest college flicks of all time.

1 issue 3|top 5 movies|38

Accepted

Everyone gets accepted into at least one university, right?

WRONG! Bartleby Gains, played by Justin Long, gets rejected from every school he applies to. In order to prove to his parents that he is not a complete idiot, he creates his very own college called the South Harmon Institute of Technology. Other rejects eventually become students at the S.H.I.T. and they all join together to try to keep the “school” open. With Jonah Hill as Long’s partner-in-crime, this movie is full of jokes and foolish behavior, and depicts what college life would be if students were in charge.

2 Could you imagine if your mom or dad showed up at your dorm to party with you? Think of all the fun you could have together… Not! In Back to School, Rodney Dangerfield’s son isn’t so keen on attending college, so Thornton (Dangerfield) decides to enroll with him at the same university. Thornton is a party animal and a hit on campus. Talk about a cool parent... and an unlikely college scenario.

3 Living in a town where academic success is nearly impossible, Shaun Brumder (Colin Hanks) decides to leave surf city Orange County and dream big. He applies to Stanford University in the hopes of escaping from his dysfunctional family and friends, but when his brainless guidance counselor sends the wrong transcript, he is launched on a hysterical adventure to correct the error before it’s too late.

Jack Black plays his slacker brother and side-kick, adding some extra appeal to this college flick.

4 Old School Don’t you wish you could relive your four years in college?

In Old School, three men (who must have graduated at least 20 years ago) seek to relive their oh-so-amazing years at college by starting a fraternity. With crazy antics and tons of nudity, this hilarious bromance is definitely a college favorite. “Luke (Wilson), Will (Ferrell), and Vince (Vaughn) are definitely the guys I would have liked to party with,” says Adam Stein, a student at the University of New York.

5 issue 3|top 5 movies|39

Give a Brother a Break Candice McGriff

Dorothy Watkins

issue 3|give a brother a break|40

Stereotypes imply that all black men step down from their responsibilities as fathers, consistently cheat on their girlfriends or

“

From my freshman year up until graduation, all of my black male friends were focused, goal-oriented graduates, with good degrees and no kids, and are doing very well now.

wives, and waste their lives selling drugs instead of finding a good paying job. However, some of these men are parents who remain faithful to their spouses and earn a college education. In addition, some even hold higher positions as congressmen, doctors, lawyers, engineers, and educators.

I am one of the lucky people in this world who can truly say that my father has been there for me since I was born. He has worked hard to take care of my family and be a positive role model for my siblings and me. In addition to that, he has never been convicted of a crime.

When a black man steps over all of the stereotypes thrown his way, he deserves to be recognized.

“Black men have a lot to live up to,” said Kenyon White, a 22-year-old VSU senior. “When you look at our prisons, they are over-populated with black men. Therefore, good black men have to deal with the stereotype of being no good.”

It is bad enough that black men were oppressed

”

sometimes they are oppressed by their own race and gender. Some other males are intimidated by successful black men so that, even when a black man strives to be successful, he still gets knocked down. So I say, cut the brother some slack.

“My uncle raised two kids on his own; he is a military veteran and has never been to jail.

There is a stereotype that all black men become athletes to be successful, but even some of those particular males give back to the community,” said Shawnte Mock, a 23-year-old college graduate. “From my freshman year up until graduation, all of my black male friends were focused, goal-oriented, graduated with good degrees [and] with no kids, and are doing very well now.”

So my suggestion is that when you see a black man aiming to be successful, give him a break.

If you see a black man supporting his family like he should, give him a break. If you see a black man being weighed down by stereotypes or obstacles meant to make him fail, give him a break.

by whites during slavery for so many years, but issue 3|give a brother a break|41

Are you vulnerable?

It can happen to anyone.

Predators lurk among us all the time, and we are their vulnerable victims.

By accepting this reality and understanding the mindset of attackers and their ploys, an individual will be better prepared to repel an attack.

Francesca Zagami

Brush up on self-defense and prevention basics Be Aware

Act Out

Being aware is one of the most important things that an individual can do in order to protect him or herself. Arming oneself is to be conscious and familiar with an environment or the surrounding area. Predators are more likely to go for people who seem uncomfortable, out of place, or distracted.

Predators are more likely to flee the scene if there is a commotion, loud noises, or any confrontation. Immediate resistance signals an intention to fight back and demonstrates that the victim will not be passive. It is also key to visualize oneself achieving the goal – escaping. The predator does not want to attract any attention. It is important not to beg and plead with a predator. This will only empower them more, making it less likely for the victim to get away. Also, give facts about yourself. If the predator knows you’re a mother, student, waitress, etc., you’ll be humanized.

issue 3|are you vulnerable|42

Francesca Zagami

Simplicity is Key Sticking with the basic moves of self-defense is always a good idea rather than trying to imitate actions from movies. Many basics include screaming, scratching, hitting, kicking, etc. The overall point is to gain control of the situation, especially by aiming for vulnerable places (eyes, temples, ears, knees, groin, and windpipe).

Use Your Body When defending oneself against an attacker, do not use fragile parts of the body. It is important to put all of one’s weight towards the attacker while using distraction techniques. Obtaining a good balance and a defensive stance will increase the chances of being able to disengage and run.

Francesca Zagami

After the assault As soon as the assault has broken off and the situation is under control, see authority figures. It is important not to panic when in a situation and to think logically. When the decision to resist is made, it should be a quick, deliberate, and a precise defensive counter.

Strike Back Nose: back of fist, headbutt or backwards headbutt Throat: kick, punch, chop

Solar plexus: kick, punch, chop

Eyes: fist and fingers Ear: palm of the hand Chin: kick, fist, elbow

Groin: kick, knee, punch

Rape Aggression Defense VSU offers a free self defense class for staff, students and faculty. The class focuses on both cognitive and physical skills that will combines avoidance strategies and real-world assault resistance tactics.

RAD is a twelve course spread out over four three-hour class days.

TO SIGN UP Call Student Recreation at (229) 333-5898.

Knee: kick to front or side Shin: kick

Instep: stomp

VSU’s R.A.D

FOR MORE INFO Call Crime Prevention at (229) 245-6493

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THOUGHTS of a distracted college student Steven Hinson

When you go to the movies, which armrest is yours?

Why do they call it “getting your pet fixed” when it doesn’t work afterwards?

Can a hearse with a dead person in the back drive in the carpool lane? issue 3|thoughts of a distracted college student|44

Why is there an interstate in Hawaii?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

How do you plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?

What hair color goes on a bald person’s driver’s license?

If you put a chameleon in a house of mirrors, what color would it turn?

Can you say “I’ll hit you where the sun don’t shine” on a nude beach?

Why does grape flavoring taste or smell nothing like grapes?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped spot but it is legal to use a handicapped toilet?

Why are the numbers on a calculator and a cell phone in different positions?

Why are there Braille dots on a drive up ATM? issue 3|thoughts of a distracted college student|45

Folk You

(can enjoy with the whole family) Daniel DeMersseman

As I pulled my readied herself car up beside for the concert, her and but the concert hurriedly tossed didn’t wait for belongings into us. the backseat, she I’d been jumped into my twenty passenger seat minutes late and asked for a meeting her, hug. I obliged she’d taken with both arms, twenty my Toyota inchminutes ing forward—it’d getting ready, been nearly nine and the show months since was another we’d last twenty hugged. “Now,” minutes she informed away— me, “we’ve just another twenty done the most minutes dangerous thing driving the CD I bought from Steven Fiore you can do around, in a car.” asking for I snickdirections, ered lightly, and search shaking my ing on foot

by Daniel DeMersseman head on the inside, as we entered the once my GPS got us there. parking garage. Once parked, I pulled out my After our first circle around the lot, I rolled “tiny plastic penis”—an unfortunately shaped down the passenger window to ask the nearest plastic covering for an bystander. If it weren’t for his flesh-colored flesh, antenna. I handed it he could’ve walked to her and told her I We’ve just done the most dan- right out of a blackthought she could and-white film about gerous thing you can do in a car. “appreciate it” as I fishermen in his searched my car for black ski hat, grayed whatever else we might need between now and beard, and matching drab, monochromatic the show. sweater and pants.

She quickly began chewing on the plastic im1950s-film-fisherman man had heard of the plement as we walked toward her dormitory, fiWatershed, he’d told us, but didn’t know what or nally removing it as we entered the building. where it was. We, meanwhile, knew what it was, Standing in her room, I just not where. It wasn’t far up or down the road collected myself after my six-hour drive as she though, he told us, if our directions were right—

It’s Steven Fiore “

issue 3|folk you|46

”

years I’d been following Steven that he even possessed such a falsetto. Then again, he was such an honest, unassuming presence—a short, soft-spoken man in a white button-down shirt and an antiquated, brown coat.

He didn’t play long before the headliner Cherrycase took the stage. I’d traveled six hours and we’d missed the first band before Steven, so my friend and I figured we’d give them a try as we waited by the stage for Steven to return from his tour van with CDs for me to buy. But we weren’t alone.

A pat on each of our backs accompanied an unfamiliar voice apologizing several times before we turned around to his unfamiliar face.

Several more apologies from him and several more “it’s-okays” from us later, he was swallowed back into the crowd. We looked at each other with puzzled faces before suddenly matching his face and voice—it was the old seaman from earlier that night. Apparently, we gathered, his son had informed him about the show but not about it being at the Watershed. His son, you ask? Yes, we were just as confused.

Then, we turned to the band. Cherrycase played too long and too inconsistently, but I bought their CD anyway. They were essentially a mediocre Dashboard Confessional, but I repeat myself. Still, they were good enough live, and their CD was only five bucks. Sadly, whatever passion they’d displayed on stage was completely lost in the recording process. On the upside, their drummer, who’d frequently lost the beat on stage, kept surprisingly okay time on the CD. I was convinced he might be a little offbeat in real life as well.

Overall, I’d have driven twice as far to get there, paid twice as much to attend the show, and paid four times as much for the CD. And Steven Fiore didn’t even play my favorite song.

Daniel DeMersseman

Lexington, SC is only a small town.

We parked and found the small, blue-andwhite sign, among many other signs, on a much larger sign. Continuing on foot, we saw a matching sign, obscured on the side of a former mill.

“There,” I pointed. I opened the door and absorbed the ensuing sound. “That’s him.”

The sound led us into a room-full of café-frequenting locals.

Our stares penetrated the crowd to the stage: Steven Fiore stood with his guitar, a female violinist/backup vocalist, and a man on drums and percussion, whose bright sweater pegged him as a Weezer fan. Of course, we weren’t here to see some indie-emonerds play out their mid-life crises on stage.

Nay, Steven and friends were merely dressed like old folks—a folk trio in endearingly vintage attire.

We walked into Mr. Fiore’s apology to the crowd: “I haven’t introduced myself.” Oh, he didn’t have to introduce himself—even if I’d been the only one, I already knew who he was. Besides, I was anxious for his next song, singing along shortly after he introduced it: “This is a song about my cat.”

“I was home for the first time. I was home for the first time,” he sang from the perspective of a stray cat he’d domesticated—Oliver, also the name of the song.

I felt like Oliver at the show, entranced, wondering how someone goes about writing a heartfelt song about their cat. “Oliver” was an answer unto itself.

Steven’s vintage violinist then began picking her strings, leading into his next song about “’How God Designed Us,’ or so we’ve heard from the church,” followed by a beautiful falsetto of a love that could “Save Lives,” sung with the same violinist. I hadn’t known in all the

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One of the first conditions of happiness is that the link between Man and Nature shall not be broken.

-Leo Tolstoy