Spring 2012 Issue 04/05

Rebecca Thorn EDITOR IN CHIEF EXECUTIVE DIGITAL AND DESIGN DIRECTOR Roberto Leal MANAGING EDITORS Jayme Parsons Markel Davis Hannah Bessinger COPY EDITORS Hannah Bessinger Amanda Bissionnette Daniel DeMersseman Stuart Taylor WRITERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, DESIGNERS Mikayla Beyer Paul Brannon Lavisa Darling Justin Devane Asya Greenwood Sara Lynn McCall Meredith McDonald Autumn Sullivan Stephanie Turner Dorothy Watkins Faculty Advisor: Dr. Deborah Hall Email: ontap@valdosta.edu

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table of contents on the cover what you get is what you saw

03 SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU Ten things all students need to know 07 BECOMING A MYSTERY SHOPPER Find out how to make money shopping 19 PROGRESSIVE MOVEMENTS See how VSU students make a difference 57 HOW TO NOT STRESS OUT AND KILL YOURSELF Tips for surviving college

domestic a section of locally brewed stories 01 TEXTBOOK BARGAIN HUNTING a guide to finding the best deals 05 CUT TO SAVE tips on couponing

13 OLD BUILDINGS a highlight of some of the oldest and most interesting buildings around Valdosta 15 UNDERGROUND BEER AND WINE CLUB a play by play of of one monthly meeting

section of reviews of art, music, movies, and more 32 THE ART OF VALDOSTA see who is coloring the city 39 THE NATIONAL a review of the live show

17 VSU CYPHER see how students at VSU express themselves

43 YEASAYER a review of the live sho

imports a section of

46 BRIGHT EYES a review of the live show

stories brought to you from outside Valdosta 22 TRAVEL IN THE MIDDLE EAST let us help you plan your trip 24 FROM PRISON TO PLAYGROUND college corses from around the country that are changing the face of the institution 27 CITY VS. COUNTRY compare the pros and cons of different landscapes

09DR. VUONG SPOTLIGHT meet one of VSU’s own professors

29 CHATROULETTE meet people from around the world without ever leaving your livingroom

11 DR. BROWN SPOTLIGHT meet one of VSU’s own professors

35 GUAC ROCK A night with poet Dorianne Laux

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happy hour a

49 MADELINE ADAMS a review of the live show 54 TEACHING, LEARNING, AND THINKING IN THE 36 CHAMBERS how the movie applies to your life

straight up a straightfoward section of stories about life and living 63 TOP 5 TECH ITEMS must buys for anybody

67 LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE ten lines the no-good guys give exposed

with a twist stories from the senior staff 69 FACEBOOK STALKERS a humorous look at a serious problem 71 AUTHORS AS FOOD if you ever wondered what all those writers would taste like, find out here 77 GOODWILL FASHION a look into the meaning of fashion 79 THREE KEYS TO CREATIVITY a guide to unlocking your inner artist 74 OSCARS, SHMOSCARS still ranting about the 2011 Academy Awards 81 FINDING WILDERNESS IN THE CITY a few tips to take you away from the city lights for a little while

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Textbook Bargain Hunting I

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t all started my freshman year of college. First of all, I didn’t understand why I was having to take science and math classes when I was going to be a journalism major, and I really didn’t understand why the textbooks for those classes were so expensive. This is when my bargain hunting days began. As college students, one of our sole missions is to save money any way we can. A major money-saving experience happens for me at the beginning of every semester, and it can for you too. It takes a little research, but the end results are well worth it. So the question is, “Should you buy your textbooks at the bookstore or buy online? My answer: online. If I bought the four books I needed this semester at the bookstore, my total would have been $147.50; however, buying my books from two different online stores (textbooksrus.com and abebooks.com) cost me $88.30.

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ISBN Time First, you must know--or rather it will make your life much easier to have-- the ISBN numbers for the textbooks you need. You can either email your professors and ask for the ISBN numbers or find them on the VSU Bookstore’s website. If you choose the second option, go to VSU’s homepage and click “Bookstore” on the drop down menu to go to the Bookstore’s website. From there, click “VSU Textbooks” under Online Shopping on the left side of the page. You will be taken to a page where you click on the upcoming semester and then find the classes you are signed up for. Once you select your specific classes, click on the “Find Books for These Courses” icon. From here you will be given the textbook information, including the ISBN number.

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Where to Buy? amazon.com textbooks.com textbooksrus.com abebooks.com half.com barnesandnoble.com ecampus.com alibris.com betterworldbooks.com

Search Time Once you’re armed with your ISBN numbers, it’s time to use a free search engine called DealOz.com. You simply enter the ISBN number of the textbook you are looking for, and it searches over 200 online bookstores to find the best price for you. The site is easy to navigate and will show you all of the possible online stores. DealOz.com also provides any online coupons that will work with specific sites; you could receive deals such as 10 percent off your order or $5 off when you spend $50. You can rank the online stores from lowest to highest price to find the best deal.

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Buy Time Once you decide on a book, click the “Buy at Store” icon which will redirect you to the actual site. You generally won’t pay more than $3.99 for shipping, and some sites offer it for free.

Most online bookstores also have a 30 day return policy. They also buy books back for more than you would get at the bookstore.

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I’ve bought my books online since I was a freshman, and I’ve saved hundreds of dollars over the years.

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”

uckily, my textbooks weren’t that expensive this semester, but I still saved $59.20 by buying online. I’ve bought my books online since I was a freshman, and I’ve saved hundreds of dollars over the years. The key to buying books online is to order them as early as possible so that they arrive in time for the start of classes. If you’re not totally convinced by now, buying online means a better selection, no lines, and cheaper prices. Sara Lynn McCall

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Someone SHOULD Have Told You:

Ten Things Every College Student Should Know

You MUST be advised to register This means you should make an advising appointment with your advisor as soon as possible. If you don’t get an appointment before registration opens, you still have to wait until you meet with your advisor so he or she can lift your flag. “Lifting your flag” essentially means that your advisor gives the okay on your Banner account so you are able to register. Don’t wait until the last minute.

Be in front of a computer when REGISTRATION opens Classes fill up within minutes.

Students are on the computer right when registration opens, and you need to be one of them if you want a chance to secure the classes you need.

Classes go fast. This is especially true for freshmen and sophomores who have to wait until the last two days to register for general core classes that everybody needs. Overrides are a pain…avoid them at all costs.

Weigh your options: Compare BOOK

EXPLORE…but decide on a major

The more classes you take just for fun or because you don’t know exactly what direction you want to go, the more classes you essentially waste. You don’t have to declare a major the first day of freshman year, but, the sooner you decide, the sooner you will begin taking classes that put you on a track towards graduation.

You only get so many ELECTIVES Electives don’t go on forever. There are a certain number allowed during your core classes and a certain number allowed during your major courses. Use them wisely. You’ll be glad when they aren’t all gone come your senior year.

PRICES

The bookstore is not your only option. Take some time to check out the prices of online bookstores, book rental companies, and electronic copies of books.

You’ll be surprised at what you can save.

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Invest in RAIN GEAR… Before it rains We all have the bright idea to buy an umbrella when we’re walking to class in the pouring rain. Do yourself a favor and buy an umbrella, rain jacket, rain boots, and whatever else keeps you dry before you encounter a rainy day at VSU. Believe me you’ll be glad you did.

WRITE things down

Make one of the smartest college investments. Buy a planner. You may think you can remember every assignment, quiz, exam, paper, and social obligation, but the reality is you will forget something. Writing it down makes that much less likely.

Learn how GPA is calculated You may think you already know, but most students can’t explain the process of calculating GPA if randomly asked on the street. First, each grade has a letter point value (A=4, B=3, C=2, D=1, F=0, WF=0). To figure out the grade points for each course, multiply the points a grade is worth times the number of credit hours of the class (an A in a 3 hour course would be 12 grade points). Finally, to figure out the overall GPA add the total grade point values for all courses taken and divide by the total number of credits attempted during the same period. If you’re still confused, visit: http://www.valdosta.edu/registrar/ documents/ComputingGradePoint Average.pdf.

START EARLY…

Your grades will thank you when finals come around Make an effort. Study. Go to class. Do this from the beginning so you can start the semester with strong grades. It is very difficult to bring grades up at the end of the semester when finals are in sight. Save yourself some stress at the end of the semester by making the grades from the beginning.

Relax once in a while…GRADUATION WILL COME Graduation may seem like nowhere in sight, especially if you’re a freshman English major sitting in a core math class or vice versa. There will be classes you hate, classes you tolerate, and classes that remind you why you’re in college. Four years (hopefully) of your life isn’t a very long time in the whole scheme of things, so enjoy your college years while you can. We have the rest of our lives to work.

Make the most of your time, and hang on to the little things because one day you will realize they were the big things. Stephanie Turner OnTap Issue 5

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CUT

TO

It is common knowledge that college students are generally poor. Between the rising tuition fees, overpriced textbooks, expensive apartments, and less-than-desirable jobs, money can be hard to hang onto. And unless your parents have an open-wallet policy, chances are you have found yourself struggling to find the money for food and other necessities.

There are many ways to stretch your hardearned minimum wage, but I recommend a strategy that tends to be overlooked: cutting coupons.

Most people do not bother with coupons because they believe they are too timeconsuming to be worth it. However, if you look in the right places, it is easy to find valuable coupons for things that you are buying already. Saving a dollar on a small purchase may not seem like a big deal, but

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when you are broke, these savings can really add up.

Here are several places to get great coupons for free, all of which I have personally used. For starters, Retailmenot.com is an excellent website where you can get not only great coupons for groceries, apparel, cosmetics, and pet items but also free codes that can save you big on online purchases. Other websites that provide good coupons are coupons.com, coupons.smartsource.com, and redplum.com. Redplum, in particular, has coupon codes for buying online, restaurant, and grocery coupons. All of these coupons can be printed off these websites right at home.

Usually, the website will just ask you to download their coupon-printer. Remember, it is wise to print off the coupons

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If you look in the right places, you can easily find valuable coupons for things you are buying already. within a few days of when you plan to use them because many of the coupons will expire only a few days after they are printed.

Another helpful source for savings is Printable-coupons.com, a blog that provides links to valuable coupons on various websites. The blog also includes a description of what you can get with the coupon and its expiration date.

A final idea for finding coupons online is to join email clubs that various restaurants provide. Most fast-food restaurants have a website where you can join their email group and receive offers and coupons regularly. The groups do not cost anything to join, in fact, and many will give you something free like a small French fry or milkshake just for joining.

Besides the internet, another good source of coupons is magazines. All You always has a bunch of great coupons in it. Other magazines that regularly carry good grocery coupons are Woman’s Day, Good Housekeeping, and Family Circle. These magazines cost only a few dollars but offer coupons that are easy to clip and can help you save money on the products they ad OnTap Issue 5

vertise. I recommend buying a coupon file folder (as nerdy as it sounds) to help keep them organized.

An additional place for students to find coupons is through their university. VSU gives away free coupon books at the beginning of every spring semester and at The Happening. In fact, the Happening is a good place to find other coupons as well because businesses come out to advertise and many offer coupons and valuable discounts to college students.

One last way to receive coupons is to join text message groups. Chick-fil-A, for example, has a text group that customers can subscribe to and receive weekly updates on special offers and giveaways. It’s all free. All you have to do is show them your text message when you order.

As stressed out college students the last thing we want to be worrying about is how we are going to pay for necessities. Thankfully, there is an array of valuable coupons available that can help ease our strained budgets. All we have to do is take the time to use them. Meredith McDonald

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Becoming a Mystery Shopper If you’re like most college students you probably love movies, eating out, and shopping. You also probably don’t have enough cash to do these things as often as you’d like. But what if you could get allof these things free just for trying them?

Actually, you can if you become a mystery shopper.

Mystery shoppers are people hired by companies to review restaurants, movies, shops and more. In exchange for a short written review of the product, the shopper gets whatever he or she is reviewing for free, as well as a small check for their efforts.

idea of mystery shopping.

However, if you know where to look, you can find a ton of legitimate companies out there seeking new reviewers daily. A good way to distinguish if the company is legitimate or not is to check its claims. If the company claims to give you free food and products for writing reviews, then it is

probably legitimate; but if it makes ridiculous claims about how much money you will make shopping for them, then it is probably a scam.

The best website I have found that hosts legitimate mystery shopping companies is volition.com. Volition actually offers more

When most people hear about mystery shopping, their first reaction is to think it’s probably a scam, which is partly true; there are a lot of scams floating around associated with the 7

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than just mystery shopping.

It is full of coupons, special offers, drawings etc., and other neat stuff if you take the time to look around.

However, for the purpose of becoming a mystery shopper, just go straight to the mystery shopping section and you will find an alphabetical list of mystery shopping companies in your area. Each company will have a description beside it of what kind of shops it offers. You simply have to pick something that appeals to you, whether it is video games or restaurants, to get started.

If you’re like most college students you probably love movies, eating out, and shopping.

You also probably don’t have enough cash to do these things as often as you’d like. But what if you could get allof these things free just for trying them?

You will probably also be required to send in a short sample of your writing so the company knows you’re capable of writing a review.

One last thing to remember is that you need to get your review in as soon as you finish your shop. Different

companies have different deadlines, but they normally want you to get your article in within twentyfour hours. I recommend bringing a small notepad with you when you’re mystery shopping to jot down important things. That way when you get home, you’ll just have to type it up without having to wrack your brain to remember details.

Mystery shopping can be a great fit for you during your college years because it can ease the strain on your budget while giving you free opportunities to eat great food, see new films and try out new products.

The opportunities are there and waiting, so take a little time and sign up today!

Hannah Bessinger

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Dr. Vuong Spotlight

L

ily Vuong was born in Bac Lieu, Vietnam but immigrated to Canada with her mother, father and three sisters shortly after the war. Growing up in Toronto, she considered herself a “jock/geek,” playing varsity volleyball and basketball while also being a member of the history club. It was during her time in college that she became fascinated with the ancient world, specifically the languages and religion of the Ancient Mediterranean.

She began her studies at the University of Toronto where she earned her bachelor's

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degree. She continued with her graduate work by earning her masters at Wilfrid Laurier University and her doctorate at McMaster University. Before joining Valdosta State University's faculty, she spent time as a Visiting Scholar at Claremont Graduate University’s School of Religion, Institute for Antiquity and Christianity, and the Women’s Studies in Religion Program. She also served as a Visiting Assistant Professor at UCLA's Center for the Study of Religion.

Her current research is in Early Christianity, with a special interest in New TestaOnTap Issue 5

ment Apocryphal and Pseudepigraphal writings, however, Gender Studies have also played a key role in much of her research, specifically in terms of its construction and interpretation in early Christian literature. Other topics of interest include the relationships between Judaism, Christianity, and Greco-Roman culture, the formation of Jewish and Christian identities in Late Antiquity, the place of non-canonical literature in biblical interpretation, and the representation of women in the ancient world.

Currently, her research has ensured that she will have a full workload for a while.

She will be presenting papers at several conferences, from Lausanne-Geneva-Fribourg to Atlanta to Ottawa. In addition to her travels, Vuong also has several papers she has been working on. Some of her forthcoming works to be published before the end of the year include research on “Purity, Piety, and the Purpose(s) of the

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Gender studies have played a key role in much of Vuong’s research.

Protevangelium of James,” and “Menstrual Purity in the Protevangelium of James.” Articles that she hopes to have finished soon include “The Temple Persists: Collective Memories of the Jewish Temple in Christian Narrative Imagination” and “Spanning Across Borders: Becoming an (Asian) Biblical Scholar in Canada and the United States,” as well as a book entitled “Accessing the Virgin: Gender and Purity in the Protevangelium of James.”

As if those articles weren't enough, she also has other projects including a Film Interview on the Proto-Gospel of James & Jewish- Christianity, being a contributor to the New Testament Apocrypha: More Non-canonical Scriptures (or MNTA) project, and working on a co-edited collected volume of on Apocryphal Literature.

Justin DeVane

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Dr. Brown A Spotlight

Dr. Byron Brown, an English pro-

Known for his helpfulness an d willingness to take the time to thoroughly ad vise students

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fessor here at VSU for twenty six years, does much more than just teach classes. Besides advising and other teaching duties, he is serves on the General Education Council and this fall, Dr. Brown traveled to Austin, Texas, to meet with professors from all over the country for the AGLS, Assessment for General and Liberal Studies. Dr. Brown represented VSU, along with a few other professors, as the AGLS considered what changes should be made to the core curriculum, an important part of the college degree that consists of half the credit hours required for a Bachelor’s. Dr. Brown enjoyed this opportunity to be involved in something so important in student’s degrees. He said, “The trip was great! We led an hour-long workshop that explained some of the things VSU is doing to improve the core curriculum. Our presentation was scheduled for Saturday morning, but every chair was filled and the discussion was lively. We also enjoyed hearing what colleagues at other universities are doing.”

In addition to being involved in the General Education Council, Dr. Brown also writes scholarly articles for publication. According to Dr. Brown, VSU president Dr. Schloss has recently expressed his desire for professors to publish more, and in order to do this, Dr. Brown will be teaching fewer classes next semester. Brown plans to write an article on how C. S. Lewis used his writing to respond to the new psychology of the 20th century. He explains, “I’m interested in Lewis’ reaction to psychoanalytical theory. Like many people in the early twentieth century, he was intrigued by the writings of Sigmund Freud and C. G. Jung and read most of their major works. He basically rejected Freud’s ideas, but

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grow. They cook a lot at home, eathe referred to Jung throughout ing the vegetables from their garhis life. In this article I am lookden—the ones that don’t get ing at how he used Jungian ideas attacked by South Georgia bugs anyto help construct some of his betway. ter known fictional works.”

Dr. Brown’s family is high on Dr. Brown enjoys his job. Most his priority list. When he travels, it days, he can be found in his office is usually either to see his daughter studying or advising students. He in Kennebunk, Maine or his other is known for his helpfulness and daughter, her husband, and his willingness to take the time to granddaughter in New Orleans. He thoroughly advise students, which says that where he makes students feel that and his wife travel is he truly cares about “Like most professors, I more about people their futures. Regarding like teaching but would than places. In Kenhis job, Brown comgladly pass on grading. I nebunk, the Browns mented, “Like most procome to enjoy academic enjoy Maine’s famous fessors, I like teaching advising, too.

It’s one lobster and 70 degree but would gladly pass on chance to help students weather. The weather grading. I come to enjoy without having to is not so pleasant in academic advising, too. evaluate them!”

New Orleans, being It’s one chance to help hot and muggy in the students without having summers, but Dr. to evaluate them!”

Brown says he and his wife travel Brown sees the rewards in helping there even more to see their grandstudents achieve their academic baby: “Family is important.” goals.

Overall, Dr. Brown’s life is Dr. Brown’s life outside of fairly simple. He is devoted to his work is quiet and simple. He grew job and family but still finds time to up here in Valdosta on a farm, enjoy his favorite hobbies on the and, after obtaining his PhD at the farm. It is very rare for a professor University of Florida, he taught at to teach in the town he grew up in, a few universities in the southeast and that makes Dr. Brown a unique before returning his hometown. part of our faculty here at VSU. When asked what teaching in his Meredith McDonald hometown is like, Brown said, “I was afraid it would be awkward. I a little reluctant to come back to VSU for that reason. But my wife and I have family here, and I’m really glad we’re able to live closer to them.” Dr. Brown still lives on a farm, now with his wife, and they both enjoy the comforts of the country. Dr. Brown enjoys gardening and maintaining the lawns at the farm while his wife makes jelly from the grapes they OnTap Issue 5

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Old Buildings Explore some of the oldest buildings still standing in Valdosta

Wisenbaker/ Roberts House – 206 Wells Street

This is the oldest house in Valdosta, so much so that it actually predates Valdosta itself. William Wisenbaker built this “plantation plain” dwelling around 1840. In 1860, an early Valdosta settler by the name of J.T. Roberts bought the house from Wisenbaker and thirty-three years later, gave it Victorian upgrades, such as wings and a tower. It was very recently renovated by the Valdosta Heritage Foundation.

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“Sam's Place” – 410 River Street This cottage is believed to have been built in the early 1850s. In 1852, Sam Myddleton bought the house and had it moved from Troupville to its current site on River Street. Myddelton's popularity earned his home the casual name of “Sam's Place” for many years. The house features 16 inch wide wall and ceiling paneling and 26 foot long heart pine flooring boards. A two-year renovation of the small house was completed in 1989.

Pentecostal House of Prayer – 315 Central Avenue This church is the oldest one in Valdosta. It began as a Baptsist church when it was built in 1867. In 1899, it was purchased by the Valdosta Primitive Baptist Church, and in 1994, by the Pentecostal House of Prayer, for which it is named.

Dukes/ Autrey Home – 311 Central Avenue Henry Clay Dukes built this house in 1889 as a Queen Ann-Style Cottage. At one time, it was owned and inhabited by former Valdosta Mayor Gil Autrey and his wife. It is now owned by the Pentecostal House of Prayer.

Myddleton/ Leonard Home – 412 River Street This Victorian-era home was built next door to “Sam's Place” in 1899 by the Superior Court Clerk R.B. Myddleton. It features ornate interior trim and wood wainscoting, as well as heart pine floors. It wasn't until a more recent renovation was completed that it was revealed that the house also had a partial stairway and an attic.

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Christian Science Society – 305 Central Avenue The Valdosta Episcopal congregation built this small church between 1885 and 1886. On June 1, 1951, the Christian Science Society bought the church and changed the name to its current moniker.

The Crescent – 900 N. Patterson Street Perhaps the most famous landmark in all of Valdosta, this Neoclassical style house was built between 1897 and 1899 and was the home of former U.S. Senator William S. West. The building takes its name from the semicircular portico supported by thirteen Doric columns. In 1951, the Garden Club of Valdosta saved it from destruction and, thankfully, preserved it. Justin DeVane 14

Stage 51 is located on the eastern block of downtown Valdosta. They offer great food at reasonable prices (usually under $10 for a meal). They feature fresh fair-trade coffee and serve breakfast, sandwiches and even vegetarian food. Their atmosphere is relaxed and the red brick along the walls adds a sophisticated touch to your dining experience. However, what might attract most students—as it did me—is their UBCW,

The Underground Beer and Wine Club

Every month, for $20, you can participate in a beer and wine tasting, which highlights small microbrews from around the country along with great, affordable wines. Included in the $20 membership fee is a 4 pack of beer in any arrangement, or any of the bottles of wine tasted that day. Usually, they have five or six different styles of hand-picked beers and four to five types of wine. An acoustic band accompanies the tastings, and they are varied for the different UBWC meetings.

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During the tastings:

As you enter and check-in, you are given a form to keep track of your food and drink orders.

Stage 51 sets a big, banquet-styled table in the center of the restaurant so you can just grab a seat, order some food, and then just get up when you are done. This promotes interaction amongst customers, which there is a variety to talk to. The people that go are all interesting and fun to get to know.

The tastings: They are done in rounds, so a group of people approach the bar, and they give each a shot glass. They usually ask if you would like to start with beer or wine. They introduce each bottle and explain where it comes from, what type of beer or wine it is, and field any questions you may have. You drink the shot—unlike snooty wine tastings—and you encouraged to drink it all. I like to jot down the names of the drinks and check off which ones I like, so I can order them after the round of tastings.

When you are ready to leave, all you have to do is turn in your form and pay. In addition, the staff creates a different shirt commemorating the current UBWC meeting that they wear and makes it available for purchase. Paul Brannon OnTap Issue 5

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The VSU Cypher

Where Ideas Go to be Expressed

H

ave you ever walked around campus or downtown and witnessed a group of young men and women huddled in a circle free-styling (improvising) rhythms and rhymes? If you’re lucky enough to answer yes, it’s possible that you’ve seen one of the newest phenomena at VSU—The Cypher.

Currently composed of about twenty members and hoping to expand those numbers soon, the VSU Cypher is a group where individuals come together to display their talent of expressing themselves through rap and spoken word. It’s hard to explain what exactly a cypher is, as the meaning of the word

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changes depending on who you’re talking to.

Keenan “Koloe” Colbert, who helped start the group last year with a number of his friends, believes that a cypher is about self-expression— finding that unique and cathartic way of representing to the public both the person you are and the person you want to be. “I want people to know how hard we work on the projects we put out,” he says of the group. “I really believe in the vision of this group and hope people realize its worth.”

It’s hard to define exactly what a cypher is since the meaning changes depending on who you’re talking to. I would say it’s when a group of individuals

come together and express their own ideas in spoken word (performance poetry) and free-style.

However, many of the members would agree that it’s only important what you think a cypher is, not how others define it.

A cypher can last anywhere from thirty to sixty minutes, depending on how many individuals are involved and how much material is prepared. Each cypher is held in a different location somewhere around town with the hope the locale that is chosen will not resemble some exotic location, instead of some place in Valdosta.

A cypher is about selfexpression— finding that unique and cathartic way of representing to the public both the person you are and the person you want to be OnTap Issue 5

Many of those involved now were inspired to create the group after years of listening to music and free-style artists, as well as participating in local rap battles (a contest between two rappers where all lyrics are improvised). Following the trend of many movements in Valdosta, there is no central authoritative figure within the group though Colbert and his closest associates do most of the planning and organizing for the group.

The rules and regulations on participating are pretty lax. If you feel you can express yourself verbally, you can join one of the upcoming cyphers or start one for yourself.

featuring local graffiti artists, as well as a fashion show. They also hope to have an online radio show up and running, as well as completing a series of photo shoots.

There have been about seven or eight official cyphers so far, with the group planning to have more of them in the future.

They are also planning other events to help promote themselves. The most immediate projects include an art exhibit

If you’d like to check out what the VSU Cypher has to offer, then look them up on the Facebook group “Drop Out Society,” or follow the group at twitter.com/dropoutsociety.

You can also e-mail at blootwenty2@gmail.com.

Justin DeVane

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Lend a Helping Hand Progressive Movements in Valdosta Food Not Bombs Food Not Bombs is a grassroots movement that started in Cambridge, Mass. in 1980.

Founded by anti-nuclear activists, the organization is dedicated to creating social change trough non-violence. One of the ways this group hopes to elicit change is by taking food from local grocery stores that would otherwise have been thrown away and turning it into vegetarian/ vegan meals that are then fed to the homeless.

While it is a part of the structure of Food Not Bombs to have no formal leaders, it does need motivated individuals to help start the local chapters. Enter Ben Johnson and Steven Kalinowski. Started only a few months ago, by these two individuals. this group is a collection of campus youth and community members that wish to inspire social change within Valdosta and its surrounding areas by easing different societal classes together in order to help them understand the effects their actions have not only on each other and the community, but society as a whole.

As an early goal, the group hopes to find a couple of stores around town that are willing to donate food that is about to expire and, following the traditional Food Not Bombs model, turn it into a meal that will be good for the physical and mental health of those they feed it to.

In the long run, the group hopes to do more than just feeding those in need. While no definite plans have been set in motion just yet, the group hopes to start several Community Supported Agriculture farms around town, as well as implementing re-education programs for repeat homelessness.

The group meets at 6 P.M. every Sunday night at 1504 Azalea Dr. 19

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Critical Mass More of an event than an actual group, Critical Mass is a monthly bike ride through Valdosta. Started in San Francisco in 1992, the original purpose of the event was to show how unfriendly the city was towards the cycling population at the time.

As the event drew more and more attention, it moved further and further across the United States. Much like Food Not Bombs, they lack an appointed leadership and instead let those involved take on whatever role they choose to, with participation ranging anywhere from a mere slight interest to a full-time activist seeking policy change.

By gathering as many cycling enthusiasts as possible, Valdosta's Critical Mass hopes to raise the city's awareness of their presence so as to assert their rights on the road and increase cycling safety. Some of the goals that are most prevalent to achieve are the inclusion of bike lanes through out the city so travel will be safer for cyclists, automobiles and pedestrians. The movement also hopes to raise awareness of the environmental impact of pollution caused by vehicle exhaust and the benefits of using transportation that is cleaner and healthier for the environment.

The group meets the last Friday of every month at the Bleu Pub in downtown Valdosta and usually rides for about 30 minutes.

Gay-Straight Alliance

The Gay Straight Alliance was founded in 1998 with the hopes that young, openminded activists would start local chapters to help combat the spread of homophobia and transphobia within schools and the community. It began with 40 clubs in the San Francisco area and by 2001 became a statewide organization. By 2005, the organization went nationwide.

The mission for the Valdosta chapter of G.S.A. is the same as the other chapters.

They wish to create environments with schools where students can support each other, educate those within the community about issues such as homophobia, sexual orientation, and gender identity issues, and fight discrimination, harassment, and abuse within schools and the community.

G.S.A. participates in several fun and public events to raise awareness and support for their cause, including festivals and drag shows.

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S.A.V.E. Students Against Violating the Environment is a student activist organization started at Valdosta State University. It goes without saying that its members' main concern is for the environment, but some of the goals they wish to achieve are to increase local environmental awareness for students, faculty, and staff; promote an active and efficient recycling program within the community, and enforcing our environmental policies on campus. They also wish to continually distribute information on how to conserve energy. The organization is involved with many activities on campus, including volunteer programs, as well as creek clean-ups and charity events.

While the group is an autonomous organization, it does work with many national environmental organizations to help elicit the change that it wishes to see on campus and around the community. Like many of the groups discussed before, they wish to make these changes realities by enacting them themselves and showing the possible benefits of such change.

One of their more current undertakings right now is to oppose the biomass plant that is set to be built within Lowndes County. They meet Wednesdays at 8:00 in Library Room 1480. Justin DeVane

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OnTap Issue 5

Travel in the Middle East Four places to engulf yourself when on the far east coast.

Thank us later

Traveling in the Middle East is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Nations like Jordan, Lebanon, and Saudi Arabia have so many breathtaking sites and cultural experiences to offer visitors, but anybody acquainted with global problems knows how dangerous the Middle East can be for American travelers, particularly women. The following sites and attractions are safe and amazing to see up close, and they are in areas that have been proven quite welcome to US citizens.

Amman, Jordan Amman, Jordan: Easily one of the safest and friendliest nations in the Middle East, Jordan has become one of the most modernized countries in the area. Its capital, Amman, offers both a great urban nightlife and many historical excursions, particularly the Citadel and their Museum of Popular traditions, which houses a treasure trove of artwork and objects from Islamic history.

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OnTap Issue 5

Beirut, Lebanon After the end of its civil war in the 1970s, Lebanon became one of the leading tourist destinations of the Middle East. It now has a variety of safe options for visitors, including the superb National Museum in Beirut, which specializes in the collecting of artifacts from the Prehistoric age to the Byzantine Empire. Beirut’s outdoor attractions include the famous Pigeon Rocks on its western coast, which are huge and evoke the beauty of Lebanon’s ancient history.

Cairo, Egypt Cairo, Egypt: While not technically part of the Middle East, Egyptians share much of the same religious and cultural background as Middle Eastern nations and offer just as much rich history to absorb. The most obvious attraction in Egypt are the Great Pyramids of Giza, which are best experienced by a camel ride from the two largest to the smallest pyramid. The Egyptian Museum of Antiquities, which houses the treasures of King Tutankhamen and many other pharaohs, is probably the best place to get a full, visual idea of what life in Egypt was really like during its past.

Istanbul, Turkey This city is unique for its geographic location alone, half of it being in Asia and the other half in Europe. Despite the political problems Turkey has suffered, Istanbul remains a safe place for American travelers, and has no shortage of great options for them. Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar, which runs year-round, is the best place to shop for anything from clothing to kitsch souvenirs to jewelry. Topkapi Palace, which dates from the Dark Ages, is one of the great treasures of the Byzantine Era still standing. Mikayla Beyer OnTap Issue 5

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From Prison to Playground: College Courses that are changing the face of the institution

Image from http://cdn.blogs.sheknows.com

Go Climb a Tree How many times have you caught yourself staring out of your classroom window? Enrollment into this class promises less daydeaming and more action.

The beautiful landscape of Ithaca, New York consists of deep gorges, and serene waterfalls and is covered with massive, tall trees surrounding its Ivy League school, Cornell University. This sublime environment is the perfect backyard for an institution that requires at least 2 credits of Physical Education to graduate.

The school is partnered with the Cornell Outdoor Education program, which is the largest in the country. Their course on tree climbing is like your childhood experience on steroids—harnesses, helmets, ropes, karabiners and ascenders are all used to conquer the trees. Students enrolled in this course not only learn an effective tree-climbing technique but also glean a message of stewardship to the environment in the careful way the climbing is executed.

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OnTap Issue 5

The Simpsocratic Method In 2003, at the University of California, Berkley, a teaching assistant named Tyler Shores developed a revolutionary philosophy course that follows the wisdom of Plato, Immanuel Kant, Karl Marx, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Homer—along with Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie. The course is entitled “Simpsons and Philosophy” and according to Shore’s website, is still offered today as a two-unit course (two hours a week) to UC Berkley students.

According to the Star Tribune, the class is aided by the book, The Simpsons and Philosophy: The Doh! Of Homer and spells out the show’s insights on many topics relevant to the human condition, such as religion (e.g. the devastating things that happen Ned Flanders despite his devotion to the Lord) and impulse for pleasure (in Homer’s constant ravings).

Fictional Physics Stroll into physics professor of Frostburg State University, Maryland George R. Plitnik’s classroom, and you’ll feel like you’ve boarded Platform 9 ¾ onto the Hogwarts Express. You’d be surprised to learn with all the talk of three-headed dogs and flying brooms that you’ve actually stumbled into a course on physics and other sciences. Plitnik creatively links the two seemingly-opposing elements, lecturing on topics like genetic engineering (the “muggle” explanation for a three-headed anything) and the science of taste (crucial in understanding fully the effect of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans).

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Students who take this Honors seminar also study scientific possibilities made real in the books: “apparating,” the magical form of teleportation, and anti-gravity, the science that lifts broomsticks into the air.

“Irrespective of the specific title of the course, the ‘magic’ in the fiction is being analyzed by applying concepts of physics, chemistry, biology and engineering. This honors course creatively packages scientific principles in a contemporary way that will interest today’s students,” said Catherine R. Gira, Frostburg State president.

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Though the class offers many ways to cut spending, such as learning the value of coupon-clipping, examining personal spending habits, detecting rip-offs disguised as bargains, and developing haggling skills, students who take this Alfred, NY course are asked to question the need for their materialistic purchases.

A Penny Saved is an A+ Earned Mercifully in line with an emotionally and economically taxing recession, Alfred University’s self-professed anti-capitalist course, “Tightwaddery: the Good Life on a Dollar a Day,” delivers a frugal message that raises a critical eyebrow to the popular belief that more Benjamins equals more bliss.

More Courses of Interest:

West Coast Queer Musicology—UCLA, CA and Canada

Mid-America

The Phallus—Occidental College, CA Learning from YouTube—Pitzer College, CABorder Crossings, Borderlands: Transnational Feminist Perspectives on Immigration—University of Washington, WA The Evolution of Low Brow: Modern Popular Arts—School of Interactive Arts and Technology, Canada

American Dreams/American Realities—Duke University, NC Campus Culture and Drinking—Duke, NC Star Trek and Religion—Indiana University, IN The American Vacation—University of Iowa, IA Daytime Serials: Family and Social Roles—University of Wisconsin, WS Art of Walking: Centre College, KY

Northeast

Whiteness: The Other Side of Racism—Mount Holyoke College, MA The Road Movie—Barnard College, NY Maple Syrup: The Real Thing—Alfred University, NY Sex, Rugs, Salt & Coal—Cornell University, NY Cultural Aspects of Food—Oneonta College, NY The Art of Sin and the Sin of Art—Rhode Island School of Design The Adultery Novel In and Out of Russia—University of Pennsylvania Nonviolent Responses to Terrorism—Swarthmore College, PA American Golf: Aristocratic Pastime or the People's Game?—Carnegie Mellon, PA Mail Order Brides: Understanding the Philippines in Southeast Asian Context—Johns Hopkins University, MD Philosophy and Star Trek—Georgetown University, Washington D.C. Jayme Parsons 26

OnTap Issue 5

CITY

VS .

re are many types of places to live, but they all seem to boil down to two main categories: the city and the country.

I grew up in Augusta, the second largest city in Georgia.

There I had the access of city life without the constant traffic and craziness of Atlanta.

One of my childhood friends lives in Blythe, GA-you know, one of those small, unknown cities. He had so much land

COUNTRY

around his house that it was an adventure every weekend. Unfortunately for them, Blythe was a good 45 minutes from the city limits. Needless to say, he was bored quite often; I couldn’t live out that far.

Junior, Early Childhood Education major Julie Wilson is from Nashville, a small town about twenty minutes from here; I thought the only Nashville was in Tennessee.

Having grown up with so many stores and restaurants at my disposal, Valdosta is certainly a change. While we have the important qualities of a city, we lack the places I’m so fond of, such as Borders and MovieStop.

It’s not Valdosta’s fault- the city is functioning quite well. Plus, it has a certain charm that I have taken a great liking to.

Coming down here, I’ve met people from all different places, some of them locals, others from the Atlanta area and even my hometown.

This semester, I met a new student, Chuck Stanton, who is originally from Chugiak, Alaska.

I’ve listened to people’s conversations discussing how many stoplights were in their city (a couple of them said one) to conversations of excitement of about a Walmart or Chik-Fil-A opening.

My contribution? I have no idea how many stoplights are in Augusta, and we have three Walmarts and at least two Chik-Fil-As within the area.

The country is quiet and nice to go out and escape to 27

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I love the exhilarating environment of the city. I love the variety of choices of where to go to spend time with friends or just to relax and enjoy the surroundings.

I would prefer to live in a city like Charleston or Savannah.

Both are beautiful and full of history while not being completely chaotic and crowded.

Semi-local English major Natalie Smith grew up in Moultrie, GA, about 45 minutes from Valdosta.

“I'm from the country…or small town,” she said, “but I think I may prefer to live in a smallercity type thing. Like Savannah, nothing crazy like Atlanta or NY.” Spanish major Amy Dandron is from Lincolnton, GA but likes the city life.

“I grew up in a city until I was seven, moved to the country and lived there for eleven years hating it the whole time and fully intend on moving back to some sort of ‘big city’ soon.”

Ben Collier, Criminal Justice major from Newnan, GA, stated he likes the city more than the country.

“Way too ADHD to stay out in the boonies for too long. I wouldn't mind NY or Boston.

Atlanta is a no-go.”

Wilson stands out in her opinion.

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I love the exhilarating environment of the city. I love the variety of choices of where to go to spend time with friends or just to relax and enjoy the surroundings.

The country is quiet and nice to go out and escape to once in a while, and I might could adjust to it if I needed to. I choose to visit; however, I do not choose to live there.

Rob Rozier, Thomasville local, takes claim to neither.

“Personally, I don't really care where I live as long as my house, apartment, or whatever is something I won't be ashamed of, I have thick walls (for various reasons) and I have fun people I can go out with.”

Stephanie Turner

“I'm a country girl. I like visiting cities but I love small town living and country life.”

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I first heard about the tin-can telephone when I was seven, and man, I was astounded.

The idea was simple: take two tin cans (or paper cups), poke a tiny hole in the bottom, tie a wire or string between the bottoms, pull it taut, and speak. The sound waves vibrate across the wire from one can to the other can where the vibrations recreate what was said for the listener. At seven, there wasn’t a lot I understood about the world. The idea of a lo-fi telephone that I could understand and build by hand was appealing. I couldn’t tell you how a T.V. worked– or an internal combustion engine– but two cups and a string? Right up my alley.

When I actually tried it, I was disappointed

Maybe I didn’t talk . loud enough or pull the string tight enough but I couldn’t get it to work. I gave up on it and relegated it to that pile of things that sound awesome when you first hear about them Now the 21st century version of the tin-can telephone is running online in the form of a website called Chatroulette, which was designed by a Russian high school student named Andrey Ternovskiy. The idea is simple: users pull up the site, turn on their webcams, and hit the scan button. They are quickly connected to another random user who has done the same. They can talk to each other if they both have microphones or type messages if they don’t. Hitting the next button (or, “nexting”) disconnects you from your current user and connects you to OnTap Issue 5

another random user. Chatroulette is an international website, with an average of 35,000 users using it at any given moment. In the time it takes to turn on a webcam and click a few buttons, you can be connected to someone in a small Paris apartment or a German techno club, someone in downtown San Francisco or even downtown Valdosta.

Cool idea, right? The problem with it is the same problem inherent in speed dating and $5 movie bins: you have to go through a lot of bad to get to the

good. Most Chatroulette connections last a matter of seconds, just long enough for one user to see the other and hit the next button. The majority of connections are to a single (predominantly male) user, looking lonely or bored in a poorly lit room. With most connections, the string and cups work fine, but no one has anything to say.

Occasionally, you come across someone interesting: a singer who makes up songs for each user or someone giving tarot card readings to anyone interested.

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Occasionally, you come across someone interesting: a singer who makes up songs for each user or someone giving tarot card readings to anyone interested After an hour of surfing, I had been “nexted” 100 or so times, had a 2 minute conversation about the nature of music, and waved awkwardly at a number of users who didn’t speak English. I had come across a number of users holding signs asking for female users to take off their clothes, and more than one naked guy. It bears noting, here, that users should be 18 before trying Chatroulette. Given its random and anonymous nature, literally anything can pop up on your screen. Chatroulette runs online, though thousands of miles of Internet connections, but it really runs on hope, on the notion that the next person you connect to might be interesting, that the next person you connect to, you might actually connect to.

I gave up on it and relegated it to that pile of things that sound awesome when you first hear about them. I went to disconnect from the website, but I hit the next button instead and found myself looking at a stack of beat making and mixing equipment in a sound proof room. A girl in a white shirt and 31

a guy in a black semi-turtle neck were turned away from me, playing with cords, hitting buttons on a laptop, as some techno house track came pounding through my laptop speakers. I said, “Hey,” and they typed, in stilted English, “House. Production. Only for you.” The music shifted as they brought in some sample I didn’t recognize. I typed back, asking if I could ask them questions for

an article I was writing, asking them if they did this often. The guy and the girl turned around, and a third guy came in from the sides. They looked into the camera and went to type, but the connection broke. When a user hits “Next,” the screens of both users go black while another user is found. But the screen didn’t go black. Their faces were frozen on the screen, looking at the questions I had typed, trying to figure out how to respond. Three people trying to communicate with another person across 2,000 miles, two languages, and a cut cord.

Stuart Taylor

They aren’t all bad. This guy gave Rebecca a thumbs up!

OnTap Issue 5

The Art of

VALDOSTA

Tom Lunduquist "Mother Night, the return of the lanterns" Poissons de Chant 43

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LOCAL ART GALLERIES VALDOSTA STATE ART Surprisingly, there is a fair amount of art outside of VSU. Every year, the VSU Fine Arts Gallery allows students, faculty and outside artists to display their creativity through various shows and competitions.

Last year the gallery held shows such as This Great Nation Will Endure: FSA Photographs of the Great Depression and Multiple Meanings: Mary Stewart and Po-Chi Chu. The VSU Art Faculty Exhibition opened the Fall semester. The show was dedicated to Danielle Barrier Harmon, the Associate Professor of Art who passed away on August 17.

In September, University of North Carolina professor Virginia Derryberry visited to display her “realistic paintings with mythological undertones,” as Thressea Boyd, Assistant to the President for Communications, puts it.

There are “Bennie’s Gallery” and “City Market” which allow local artists to display their work. “The Annette Howell Turner Center for the Arts” holds over 30 exhibits each year and hosts art classes and summer camps. The eclecticism of the crowded display window at the “Vintage Dragonfly” is just a minor preview of the various, handmade items waiting inside.

The mellow, local venue of “Kaleidoscope, a gallery” contains both local and national artists.

“There’s no other place like this in Valdosta,” Jolie Hyatt, co-owner of Kaleidoscope, asserted.

The gallery’s artists are usually from along the East coast, but the reputation of the store has caused attention to broaden.

Part time professor at Santa Monica College, Tom Lundquist, came to display his Poissons de Chant show of digital images in October.

“Normally, (artists) are…from the Carolinas to Florida, but now it’s from all over, even from California,” expressed Jolie Hyatt.

The Fall Senior Exhibition wrapped up the Fall 2010 season.

The gallery showings return on January 18 with the All-Media Juried Competition.

Jolie Hyatt’s mother, co-owner and artist Fay Bridges Hyatt, teaches art classes held in a classroom in the back, semi-closed off area of the store and also displays her own work throughout the store.

For more information on the gallery or to see some of the faculty and student artwork, visit the VSU's art department website.

Not only does the store sell the artwork displayed, but they also sell sculptures, furniture, and jewelry.

To see artists displaying their works, visit downtown Valdosta for First Friday or Art After Dark.

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SELENA NAWROCKI Three of the eye-catching pieces at this past year’s faculty show were Red Eye, Facets, and Moon Shadows submitted by Selena Nawrocki, Associate Professor of Interior Design.

SHANNA MIKELL Shanna Mikell is a recent VSU graduate with a Fine Art and a Bachelor of Art Education degree, certifying her to teach elementary school art classes.

Mikell has been an artist from an early age.

Nawrocki has taught here for the last ten years, never missing a show. She submits a work each year with variations of the same basic idea.

“When I was little, I copied pictures of animals out of books,” she said. “My parents saw my early attempts and encouraged me.”

“I just thought it was very creative and unique from what I have seen at these type of showings,” Nawrocki said.

Her ideas for photographs and paintings are stimulated by her environment.

All three works had images of stairs digitally imprinted onto pieces of colored glass that were held together by silver hinges.

“My shaped, dimensional, digital compositions utilize architectural room interiors with emphasis on stairways as the principle motif,” Nawrocki said.

In addition to her contribution to the faculty showing, Nawrocki participates in several other competitions annually.

“A picture is a poem without words.”

“I will actively look for an image that pops and will photograph it. That image will stay (as a photo) or be a reference for a drawing or painting.”

Mikell, however, feels that some subjects are better left alone.

“Some of the best things you will ever see are best left undocumented. Sometimes a memory is better than a photograph.”

In addition to her interest in photography, Mikell enjoys making Artist Trading Cards, posting them to her online account at ATCs For All. Mikell dreams of one day becoming an illustrator for children's books.

Stephanie Turner

~Quintus Horatius Flaccus

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OnTap Issue 5

GuacRawk:

A Night with Dorianne Laux

me!!

Dorianne Laux!!

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She reads her poems and gives her fans autographs, nicknames, and hugs.

My friends and I are enamored by the North Carolina State University professor and author of four collections of poetry, and this is only the beginning of our night with Dorianne Laux.

“let’s have a conversation.”

Normally, a university student goes to a poetry reading and feels very small. If the student aspires to be a poet, poetry readings by authors published multiple times can be very overwhelming. Dorianne Laux, however, made herself so accessible throughout her reading that, though we were covered with the thickest blankets of wonderful poetry, as if we were sleeping in luxury hotel beds made by poets from Shakespeare to Hughes to Levis, it wasn’t intimidating. Before she even began reading, while we were waiting on our poetry professors, Marty Williams, and a former graduate student, Laux simply sat on the front row of the UC Theatre and talked with us.

“what’s a photobomb?”

“it’s too quiet in here.”

Laux made sure we were a part of her poetry, and that inclusivity made it very easy to call her Dorianne by the end of the night. Halfway through her reading, she asked what we wanted to hear. The namesake poem of her book Facts About the Moon is a favorite in each poetry class taught by Marty. No matter how many times he reads it, Marty gets choked up. No matter how many times I hear Marty read it, I get tearyeyed. That’s the caliber of poetry we were showered with throughout the reading.

“the best night, EVER!”

After the reading, as per tradition, Marty planned to treat the poet to a drink. I’ve been a regular participant of these outings, along with a few other students. Dorianne happened to come during Valdosta’s First Friday celebration, making our usual dig, The Bleu Café, a little less than relaxing. We opted for a simple gathering over chicken tacos at Marty’s house instead. On the way, everyone stopped for alcohol; my best lady, Kat, even shopped with Dorianne in mind, asking beforehand what she would like to drink with the response, “Surprise me!”

Myself and a car full of my friends pulled up at the same time as Marty and Dorianne, and we all headed inside. Without skipping a beat, Dorianne grabbed an avocado and asks Marty if he would like her to make the guacamole. Not only can Dorianne turn a phrase, but she can also gut an avocado with ease. Stuart, a VSU graduate student, asks her how one goes about making guacamole. “Don’t push down too hard; you should feel the tip of the knife through the skin, but you don’t want to puncture it.” She then asked Stuart if he would like to try his hand at it. I broke out my camera, forgotten at the reading, but picked up before this gathering, and announced that we needed a photobomb. Dorianne’s teaching and talking and listening and learning. We explain what constitutes a photobomb and will all continuously photobomb whatever picture might be taken by whomever of whomever for the rest of the night.

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“GIRL COUCH!”

With Lemuria and Madeline Adams playing in the background, we all make our tacos and sit to eat. Dorianne, Kat, and myself end up on one couch, which Dorianne denotes as the “Girl Couch.” Kat and I can hardly contain ourselves at being included in this small group of three with the likes of Dorianne Laux. She asks me if I’ve ever used Stumble Upon and explains that it’s a great way to prompt yourself. She takes ten minutes and the word of the day and just writes, “And sometimes you realize you’ve just written a poem.”

She asks me if I’m dating Stuart, and I tell her about our three-years-in-themaking relationship. Her first question is if he makes me laugh.

Constantly, I tell her. “Good. There are very few things better than sex, laughing is on the short list.”

Dorianne teaches Stuart to make guacamole! “go show the world, all of you!”

The night is coming to an end. We’ve all mingled around between smaller groups of three and four. It’s nearing midnight. Dorianne decides to head back to her hotel and tells us each goodbye as she shakes our feet in farewell. “You all are a little piece of heaven.” With her last words of encouragement, she’s gone. I can’t help but think how I didn’t just spend a night with an amazing poet; I spent a night with a woman who was interested in what I was working on and learning. A woman who made herself accessible to me, to someone just learning something she's all but mastered.

Boys l ove

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Dorian ne!

OnTap Issue 5

hey dorianne...

Tell me a quick story from your childhood. Make me laugh.

When did you first know you wanted to strive to be a poetess?

Since we were a Navy family, we moved around a lot, so I could be anyone I wanted to be in the new place. I lived during the era of polio, so I once pretended I had polio. My parents bought us bargain basement clothes, and boy or girl, we all wore striped t-shirts, brown corduroy pants and brown shoes. I pretended I had a brace and walked with one straight leg. I even kept the leg out when I’d swing at the park. In high school, I pretended I spoke French. My mother spoke French so I had a feel for the language and made up French sounding words and phrases. My friends believed me, because believe me, no one at my high school spoke French.

What is your advice to aspiring writers?

Read. Memorize poems and passages of books that you love.

Write every day.

I never had an idea that I wanted to be a poet in any real way. I just knew I enjoyed writing poems and was happy to scribble them down and hide them under my bed. Even when I returned to school to learn more about poetry and writing, I just wanted to get better. I didn’t imagine an outcome beyond that. I guess the first time I thought of myself as a poet was when I published a poem, but even then, I didn’t really believe it. I still don’t.

If someone played you in a movie, who do you think it would be?

People tell me I look like Diane Keaton. I think we are the last two women in the world who haven’t had Botox injections and don’t go to the gym. I doubt she would agree to play an unknown poet, but I wouldn’t object.

What should readers to take away from your poetry?

That I was awake to my life.

What poets inspired you when you were our age?

te,

brunet

e!

let p m o c le is

c

The cir OnTap Issue 5

I didn’t know much about poets when I was 20. You all are so lucky to know so many! I knew about Robert Frost and e.e. cummings. I was more inspired by the novels I read,like The Jungle, by Upton Sinclair, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers, and Catcher in the Rye. What inspired me most though was a book about the great depression, what we called The Dust Bowl era, a book by a photogd rapher, Walker Evans, and a writer, James Agee who wrote A Death a dhe e r , e d in the Family. It was a book called Let Us Now Praise Famous Men. blon I was completely absorbed by the poetic descriptions of ordinary American families, three tenant families, living in hardship, and I was, like most of America, mesmerized by the black and white photographs. The writing is lyrical and sometimes even difficult to follow, but the descriptions and minute details of people’s lives were heartbreaking and heroic.

Rebecca Thorn 38

FUNNY SONGS

FOR

TERRIBLE LOVERS

By: Justin DeVane 39

OnTap Issue 5

I didn't think I was going to make it on time. And by my standards, I didn't. I like to get there right when the doors open, pick a good spot, and watch the venue fill up in that gradual way you only notice when you stop paying attention. But a pit stop in Gainseville and highway traffic put me further behind schedule than I would like to have been. Also, I didn't really know where I was going. And Orlando traffic was what my cousin would refer to as a “clusterf**k.” After several phone calls to my friend Jay and a quick stop at one of the 936 gas stations on Highway 129, I found out where I needed to go exactly.

I pulled into a parking spot at 7:15. The doors opened at 7:00.

My frustration, though comedic now, was then at a level that I assume would send me into cardiac arrest if I were older. Or in poorer health. Cramming what I need into my pockets, I toss everything I don't need into the car and shut it before heading off. By the time I made my way across the tawdry landscape that is Downtown Disney and arrived at the House of Blues, it was 7:35, leaving me 25 minutes to figure out a way to steal a good spot.

After paying four freaking dollars for a PBR, I noticed that the crowd was pretty sparse, and after a couple 'scuse me's, I managed to snag a half way decent spot near the right side of the stage. I quickly made friends with those around me, including two fellow Valdostans and a trio of sweethearted doofuses I would come to know as OnTap Issue 5

Juan, Carlos, and Gorden.

After much meandering, 8:00 finally arrived. Owen Pallet took the stage carrying a violin that I'm sure weighed more than him.

He started playing, and immediately everyone was enchanted.

Even if you're not a big fan of his music, which I'll go ahead and admit that I'm not, you still have to admire him. The violin is not the preferred instrument for solo singer/ songwriter, yet through alluring, looping melodies, he creates music that still manages to enchant even the most lackadaisical fan. He has a couple of “emotional moments” and then “powers through the hits” before ending with a seven minute song I'm afraid I don't know the name to.

There's a 30 minute gap between him and the National. I shoved my way to the bathroom and then got another beer, leaving the gap at 26 minutes. Also, my

spot had been taken. But when the lights dimmed at 9:15, and the band came out, I realized I was close enough and enjoyed the buzz of adrenaline that eased its way down my body. Matt Berninger, the baritoned vocalist, stood in the center of the stage. Aaron and Bryce Dessner, the twin guitarists were on opposite sides of Matt.

Scott Devendorf, the bassist, stood behind who I believe was Bryce on the right side of the stage. His brother, Bryan, sat at the drum set at the back of the stage. Other musicians stood on platforms to the left and right of them on the stage.

And then The National began to play Runaway (?) For those unfamiliar, Runaway is a sprawling, meandering six-and-ahalf-minute song from their latest release, High Violet. It's also one of their songs I don't particularly care for. But as I settled into the realization that this was how they 40

were starting the show, I settled into another at the same time.

What better song to start with than one that encapsulates the band so well? A lot of their albums start the way the concert did –slow, quiet, easy. I don't think they've ever been described as “funky.” Or “perky.” But their music is still invigorating and cathartic in its own right. I also realized that this was one of my favorite bands, so I better start having a good time because I'm not necessarily guaranteed this opportunity anytime in the near future. So by the time they finished the first song, I was singing along with the rest of the crowd.

When the song was over, one of my favorite parts of any concert began: the banter. It's a fine line between a band that likes to engage an audience and one that loves the sound of their voice, but the National toed the line pretty well, explaining the origins of certain songs and making jokes with one another without waxing poetic.

“We didn't know that play-

41

ing in Orlando,” Bryce said from the right side of the stage, “that we'd be in –” “A whole new world?” Matt offered.

The crowd laughed, and even Bryce had a look that said he appreciates a good pun. They then went into Anyone's Ghost, also off of their most recent release. People swayed and bobbed, as if dancing by themselves in the little space of their own room. It's a short song, and one that Matt said is “the only one you can really dance to,” before correcting himself with, “Well, you can dance to the other ones, but it's kinda awkward.” Mistaken for Strangers from their Boxer album was next and I found out quickly that Matt was right, it is kinda awkward dancing to their other songs. At least in front of other people.

They played their lead single, Bloodbuzz, Ohio, and then they took a break from their new material and played a couple older songs. But it was when they started playing Squalor Victoria, from

Boxer, that the vibe of the concert changed. The Dessner twins got everyone clapping while Bryan pounded out a steady beat before switching to the rhythm of the song. As the song climaxed, we are treated to two signature aspects of Matt's performance. First was his screaming – always spastic, yet there's restraint in it that you wish he'd lose. The second was his pacing. He walked around the stage almost aimlessly, patting his legs or punching his hand in time. He screamed at people in a way that is hard to translate. He might have been angry or enthusiastic or both.

He might have been encouraging them. He might just like screaming.

I think mostly it's frustration. The shared kind we all feel when we can't express what we're feeling in exact words or actions.

And I think that frustration is at the heart of a lot of their songs, especially Squalor Victoria. I could be wrong though. Maybe he can't dance so instead, he just burns off the energy the only way he knows how.

After Squalor, they returned to the new stuff and played Afraid of Everyone, a “funny” song, according to Matt. They took it way back to Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers when they started playing the “infinitely more depressing” Available, which new-friend Juan had been requesting all night.

After the next couple songs, the show started to pick up a little bit. Conversation 16 from their new release was next, and while not the most exciting song, the band played it with a lot of energy, and OnTap Issue 5

towards the end, it was almost a contest between Matt and the crowd to see who could sing the refrain of “'Cause IIIIII-IIIII-IIIIIIII'm eeeeeeviiiiiil” the loudest. I think Matt was happy to lose.

Then came one of my favorites: Boxer's Apartment Story.

From the time one of the twins played just the rhythm by himself to when the entire eight-piece band held out the last note, I danced my happy little ass off, the stand-still Stanleys of the crowd be damned.

Next, was Abel and it was at this time that I realized they had yet to play a song off of Alligator. They made up for this by playing another song off the record, Sons and Daughters of the SoHo Riots. And sadly, this song marked the band slowing down into the end of the show. They closed with Fake Empire, stretching it far past the 3:25 mark it is on Boxer, but not as far as they could have, not that I'm complaining.

Then it was time for the encore. And while it started slow with OnTap Issue 5

Sorrow, the rest of it was worth the price of admission alone. When Sorrow faded out, the chords for Mr. November burst through the amplifiers and everyone felt the shared energy. Next came Terrible Love. It started slow, but by the time the song reached its climax, Matt waded his way through the sea of people screaming, “It takes

an ocean not to break!” and for far longer than he does on the recorded version.

And the show could not have ended any more perfectly.

Owen Pallet came back out and all the members of the band went to the front of the stage. Aaron and Bryce each had an acoustic guitar slung over their shoulders and a finger held up to their lips, silencing the audience. When they began to play, everyone realized why they needed silence. The guitars were unplugged. When Matt sang, “Leave your home,” the crowd joined in on “Change your name,” and the singalong to Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks continued, everyone pitching in their part to the harmony. When the song ended, the explosion of applause brought the silence of the singalong into starkest of contrast. The band made their bows and left. Matt pushed the mic stand over as he went backstage. Justin DeVane

40

Yeasayer, You say?

Who loves free shows? FSU does. Me, too, especially bands I would've paid at least a quarter to see. Not you, Washed Out, silly opening band.

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L

uckily, my friend Justin and I were thirty minutes late, enduring only a few songs before “last song.

Yeasayer is next."

key, mumbling the words I didn't know, consummate fan-boy that I am. Before I knew it, my eyes were closed and I was doing every sort of white boy dance my white boy pants could handle, camera in hand, fellow fans nearly as close.

Claps erupted like the sounds of low-level fireworks and popcorn-popping making love, In between bouts of religious experience, I inched progressively closer to the front of the and no one was clapping harder than I was.

Yeasayer was only thirty more minutes away. crowd—closer to the band—to take more and better pictures (knowing me, mostly more).

Luckier still, someone was tossing large balloons into the crowd! Personally, I was Who cares more enthused with the sound and smell of I sang loudly along if I was my own farts (and Washed Out). dancing with the band, mostly my butt Smoke clouded the stage (from their smoke on-key, mumbling the machine, duh), and the crowd cheered as the off? (No one can band set up the stage. Strategically placed words I didn't know, see you if props set the stage aglow with shifting colconsummate fan-boy your eyes ors. Showtime. that I am.

I sang loudly along with the band, mostly on- are closed, OnTap Issue 5

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right?). I mean, three part-harmonies, tight rhythms, and experimental psychedelia?

You’d be dancing, too.

jumping as one—as one-amoeba-of-a-crowd.

Yeasayer stopped singing for a moment to tell us to thank Washed Out. Against my "Everybody's talking ‘bout me and my baby,” better judgment, I joined the crowd in their they sang. “Making love till the morning, clap-ter. I mean, who can say no to Yeasayer morning light." This was baby(look at their freakin’ name, making music. Guilty pleasman). But soon enough, we ure? Maybe. But Yeasayer were back to the song’s familcould pleasure my guilt anyiar refrain and just as soon, it Against my time—this was one of my fawas over. Not even the vorite tunes. Next was amoeba-crowd’s shout-chants better another, "Sunrise," as the for an encore could change judgment, night neared its end: "And as that. the trees grew higher and I joined higher and the fish began to It was eleven anyway, and we fly, I went and stole some were two hours from home so the crowd wings and thought, 'Why can't Justin and I reloaded at the I?'" Me, too, Yeasayer. Me, nearest Taco Bell (you never too. know when you’ll be stuck in another crowd for thirty minutes). Along the I was high on music when this tall, lanky fel- drive home, I informed him that my GPS was low scuttled violently past me, to the front of telling me it had some error—it had run out the crowd, latching his degenerate-hellof memory. spawn fingers to the top of the fence that protected the stage. “Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!” “Your GPS has Alzheimer’s,” he joked. he chanted. “Guitarist! You should do other things! You’re better than the band!” His cig- “Well, I’m glad I brought you along. I’m not arette smoke flew behind him, into my face. sure how I would’ve gotten there and back,” I “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” thanked Justin. He was my second GPS since he knew his way around Tallahassee and to “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up,” I mocked in like and from Valdosta, even when my digital fashion, but he didn’t. “Shut the [expletive] GPS didn’t. up. Shut the [expletive] up,” I continued.

Minutes later, as we continued conversing, He shouted back “No” but stopped. Just in Justin began telling me some story he’d told time for the best me before so I finished it for him. “Looks like crowd-hyping Yeasayer song ever written. your second GPS has Alzheimer’s, too,” he “Youuu must… stick up for yourself, son. said, self-referentially. “My future grandchilNeveeer mind whaat anybody else done.” We dren are gonna’ hate me.” all sang along.

Hell-spawn So here’s to stories and bands that bear reeven started us peating, I say. Yea. Yea, I say.

Daniel DeMersseman into a fauxmosh pit for a whole minute as we all began

Your GPS has Alzheimer’s

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OnTap Issue 5

Bright Eyes and First Aid Kit, at the Moon

Nearly three months sober, I’d figured I’d saved enough from not drinking to reward myself for not drinking. But like any good recovering alcoholic, I still had to sabotage myself.

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So I procrastinated my way out of a possible free ($30) ticket and out of properly coordinating with local friends. Meaning four hours alone in my car, two hours each way of turntable imitations, underwater-cat-singing, and whatever else you’d expect me to do with no one else around. Enough to keep me from caring that my blinker wasn’t working long enough for me to drive home without my blinker working.

In line at The Moon (the venue, down in Tallahassee), I swam through a sea of indie-mo, black and bland-colored shirts in every direction, one of whose wearers literally said, “Conor Oberst is so talented.” But I persevered.

Once inside, I sat beside an older couple with an extra seat between us, the man among them asking my age. Twenty-five, I said.

He didn’t answer with his age, only “We’re smart, sitting here behind this bar while the kids crowd behind the stage for an hour. Because we’re old.”

“Well, tired,” I said.

Then, some cute girl who’d gotten in free as an FSU student filled the seat between us while she waited for her friends. I fought the rising volume of the crowd to make small talk. Eventually, I found out that we both enjoyed reading, John Vanderslice, and The Tallest Man on Earth and that neither of us were massive Bright Eyes fans.

Around that time, First Aid Kit started their set.

The cute Swedish retro-folk sister-duo sang sweet acoustic harmonies. The taller blonde one who mostly looked around half-bored when not singing backup strummed an autoharp in their first song while the dark-haired one sang lead and strummed her guitar. Later, taller blonde pulled out a keyboard to play bass. Their drummer later joined them.

They bantered briefly and playfully in between OnTap Issue 5

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songs. In one song (“Ghost Towns,” I believe), they even name-dropped Tallahassee, and the audience went wild.

Between their humor and their 60s-ish clothing, hairstyles, and music, First Aid Kit easily won over the crowd.

Occasionally during their songs, they even shook their long hair just enough to rock out without looking too much like a strange trance-inducement-obsessed cult.

I, myself, was too entranced to immediately realize I’d never gotten cute, quasi-interesting girl’s name or number as she walked away with her friends. Not until she was long gone.

By then, several tall people with bad haircuts were blocking my view of the stage, making it the perfect time to join the crowded audience in front of the stage and stand there for the next couple songs and the hour intermission before Bright Eyes.

I mean, I’ve given Mr. Oberst a lot of crap over time, but I couldn’t crap on his showmanship. Sure, I couldn’t get into his first few songs—kind of bland Americana—but I couldn’t not be impressed by his frequent switching from acoustic to electric songs and, eventually, 48

piano on “Lover I Don’t Have to Love,” “Shell Games,” and later songs.

I couldn’t crap on his energy or charisma either, especially when Conor would introduce a song like “Haille Selasse” with, say, “This is a song about the black Jesus. Actually, you may not know this, but Jesus was black so this is a song about the second black Jesus.” Not particularly profound but enjoyable regardless.

Later, he told us, “I don’t know if we’ve ever played Tallahassee before,” and the crowd whoo’d loudly. “I’m not sure what that means,” he answered, then went back into his songs.

When Conor and his band finally exited the stage and the lights dimmed, the crowd remained in a perpetual roar.

By the time I returned from the bathroom, he’d re-entered the stage, alone, with his acoustic, singing an earlier crowd suggestion, “First Day of My Life,” perhaps his catchiest, most upbeat and popular song, a song about falling in love.

Conor sensibly followed with his infamously anti-love song, “Lua.” He had First Aid Kit join him on stage to sing backup.

Good choice. I always loved the song’s dark lyrics but could never quite take his brittle vocals on the song. Luckily, the girls slightly

overpowered his voice. It was one of the few times he looked like more of a pimp than, say, some angst-ridden, possibly-gothic, lanky teenage outcast who never grew up.

Then, he brought back his full band, with First Aid Kit on tambourines, for his last song. I was sad he didn’t play “Let’s Not Shit Ourselves to Love and Be Loved,” but I’d imagine it being hard to fit in a tenminute song when you’re trying to cover so many eras of your music.

Afterward, I met my friend Justin at the nearby All Saint’s Café. We briefly caught up on each other’s lives, and I told him about the girl whose name and number had eluded me. “I think I’ll write a Bright Eyes song about it,” I told him.

“Or you could send a letter to Bright Eyes and have him write a song about her,” He paused.

“But she doesn’t really care for Bright Eyes.”

I smirked, and we agreed that Bright Eyes puts on a good show and actually writes pretty good lyrics but that his voice/music is sometimes irksome. We parted ways.

Then, by some strange miracle, my car blinker worked the whole way home, and I didn’t die. Now, there’s something to write a song about.

Daniel DeMersseman OnTap Issue 5

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OnTap Issue 5

Have I mentioned my love for

Madeline

Adams BECAUSE, SERIOUSLY, I LOVE HER. I plan on marrying her one day. For those that don’t know, she’s an Athens, GA-based singersongwriter with a voice so soft and, at times, haunting that it takes hold of something inside you and refuses to let go, not that you’d want it to. I was introduced to her music back in ’08 when I visited a friend in Athens to see a show at the 40 Watt. She was the opening act and by the end of the night, I was convinced she should have been the headliner.

She was that good; and with only half the material that she has now.

When I learned she would be playing a show right here in Tallahassee, I was giddy as a school girl. The venue was the Mansion, an old relic left over from the 20’s that now host punk and D.I.Y. shows. I’m not that big into house shows; many of the ones I went to in my home town were for friends and pretty much all of them sucked. But for Madeline, I would make an exception.

I arrived at 8 PM and took a seat on the staircase. I made small talk with two cute girls sitting on a couch in front of a bookshelf. At 9:00 the opener, a young man by the name of Adam Reis, began to play. He crawled through his set and by 10:00, Madeline took the…living room.

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The crowd gathered in the room and she started with a contest.

Kinda. She offered to trade a zine to the first person that got her a beer. It was the first, and thus far only, time I’ve regretted giving up drinking. After some gentleman sprang into action she explained that this would be her last tour before going on a hiatus, and that she wanted the show to be mostly requests. And here I was struck with a dilemma: I had two songs that I really wanted to hear but 49

couldn’t decide which one I wanted to hear more. There’s my all-time favorite, “Dirty South (Tie One On),” and my new favorite, “Gather the Feathers.”

I sat back as far as the semistool I was sitting on would let me and began debating the hardest decision I would ever have to make in this extremely specific circumstance. A different cute girl sitting on the opposite side room requested “Home

to Me” and the show officially began. Madeline stepped close to the microphone and sang sweetly while picking the strings on her guitar, her pinky resting where a pic guard should be.

She finished the short song and took a few more requests before pausing to pull out her phone.

She complemented the audience on being cute and took a picture of us. “After being on tour for so long, it becomes kind of a picture game,” she said to the OnTap Issue 5

audience and told us a quick story about how the crowd in St. Augustine kept their camera phones up the entire time.

“Sometimes when you play a show, you see nothing but phones the whole time. Everyone’s like ‘Snap snap. Upload upload.’”

The next request was for “1982.”

As she played into the chorus, she would step away from the microphone and let her voice spread throughout the small room. The crowd, still in awe, was quiet for a moment after she finished playing. After the applause, she took more and more requests. Eventually, a mystery person called out, “Uncle’s Sweetheart.”

Madeline stepped close to the microphone and sang sweetly while picking the strings on her guitar her play all night if she didn’t stop us). During the break, the cute girls sitting next to me left and I happily stole their sturdier and more comfortable chair.

Madeline explained the premise behind the two-part song: an elderly aunt finds out her husband is cheating on her and kills him. Then she relays the story to her young nephew. As she played the first part, she moved back and forth, singing softly close to the microphone, and then bellowing further and further away from it. She did the same on the second part.

It wasn’t long before she began playing again, this time a new song. By the time she finished, the rest of the crowd had gathered in, noticeably smaller this time. With all of them in, she played “Johnny Cash,” a song about the Man in Black as Heaven’s bartender. She was about to take another request when she remembered there was a birthday in the crowd, so she played a special “Birthday Song” just for the lucky person.

“From the breath of two lovers,/ comes baby's first yawn” she sang in the middle of the song.

“And somewhere, here hidden/ there's a birthday song.”

After a few more requests, she proposed an intermission and the crowd reluctantly agreed (we probably would have had

Before I could make a request, Madeline began picking the notes to her next song, which just so happened to be the 1-4-5

OnTap Issue 5

progression of “Dirty South.” I sat back let her sing the tale of an Athens-based two timing bastard. To be honest, I missed the horn section bellowing in the background, but her voice carried the song just fine.

When she finished, she took the last batch of requests. I called out “Gather the Feathers” and she gave me an “Okay” before adjusting her capo and beginning to play. The song began softly, with Madeline almost hunched over the microphone as she sang the first verse. After a little lead guitar she stepped back to sing the chorus, soaring yet restrained. Going into the second verse, I heard two voices behind me whispering and snickering and I was certain that Madeline would one day write a song about a crazed fan strangling two people at one of her shows.

But as she entered the climax of the song, “How could you? In 52

She tells a good a story.

She turns a good phrase.

But more than all that, the way she sings makes you feel what the narrator feels my home? In this yard?” the voices had quieted and all was right with the world. And just between me and you, I almost cried. If she would have played “Dumpster Dive Mother,” I would have wound up a sobbing ball on the floor. All creepy jokes about being in love Madeline Adams aside, “Gather the Feathers” is the perfect example of why I love her music. She tells a good a story. She turns a good phrase. But more than all that, the way she sings makes you feel what the narrator feels.

and told us to enjoy the rest of our evening. I figured if there was any time to profess my love to her, now would be it. I walked over to her, knelt on one knee, take her hand and asked her to be mine. She got a little choked up, but through her

tears she managed to squeeze out a joyful yes.

Actually, I just awkwardly asked her how long her hiatus was going to be and thanked her for playing such a good show. In case you were wondering: three years, if all goes as planned.

And I hope it does. There’s not too many Madeline Adams left and I know I’m not the only one that needs to feel something new. So I’ll wait and catch her next time around. I’ll even bring tissues. In case she plays “Dumpster Dive Mother.”

Justin DeVane

It’s why we all indulge in art in the first place: to feel something outside of ourselves. Gain a new perspective. Or remember an old one. At the end of the day, she’s doing what any good artist should.

She finished with “Dollar Beer,” another new song. When it was over, she thanked the audience 49

OnTap Issue 5

Teaching, Learning, and Thinking in the 36 Chambers

“In the Shaolin martial arts films…there’s this emphasis on other aspects of the lifestyle, arts, philosophy, things like that, which isn’t something you’d see in an American Western, the equivalent generally. They don’t sit and talk about the way of peace.” – Andy Klein

The 36th Chamber of Shaolin is quite possibly the greatest martial arts film ever made. It’s the classic standard, the A-1, the first-rate. The acting is nuanced; the cinematography, flawless; the directorial execution sans pareil. The story is universal in its simplicity: the villain kills San-Ta’s family, then newly orphaned San-Ta undergoes years of kung-fu training for revenge. The film’s excellence is only paralleled by a select few, a film that other films hope to be compared to.

But I’m not here to talk about any of that. Instead, I’d like to talk about is what the film 54

teaches about learning and teaching.

Roughly half of the film focuses on San-Ta’s years of training. This, in itself, is remarkable. Most action or fight films start with the main characters already being proficient fighters: Crank, Shoot ‘Em Up, Ninja Assassin. At most, some films will show 5-10 minutes of the characters training or practicing. But in this film, training is half the movie, bookended by a 30-minute setup and a 30-minute resolution. Here, San-Ta’s journey is given more importance than the beginning or the end; here, learning things that are worth learning take time.

OnTap Issue 5

After San-Ta gets to the Shaolin Temple, he spends a year working, doing general things like cleaning, running errands, etc. One day, he asks one of the monks when he will be able to learn kung-fu. The monk tells him that he can start his training as soon as he asks, which he does. The monk asks San-Ta which chamber he would like to start in, the training being composed of 35 different “chambers.” San-Ta asks to start at the

highest chamber, but when he gets there, he sees monks just chanting and drumming, practicing the Buddhist sutras. At the highest chamber, the monks have moved beyond fighting, something San-Ta is unable to understand. San-Ta is sent to start in the First Chamber. The impulse of many students is to try and jump to the end and master a discipline quickly so they can reach their goal, but learning has to start at the beginning.

In the First Chamber, San-Ta is faced with a simple task: jump across a small pool, while using a log in the middle of the pool as a platform, a task that would seem to have nothing to do with kungfu. The first time he tries, he fails. He tries again, and fails again. Tries again, fails. He tries to cheat by taking a different route, but he is knocked down into the pool by one of his teachers. So, he thinks. And he thinks. He hits upon the idea of trying to balance on top of wooden mop buckets to improve his balance. He practices until he has mastered it, then he passes his test, jumping from one edge of the pool to the other while balancing on the log in the middle.

This basic idea of learning a new thing through failure and critical thinking is repeated throughout the chambers. The tasks vary between mental exercises designed to strengthen the mind and physical tasks designed to strengthen one particular set of muscles. Later chambers focus on one kind of fighting: hand-to-hand, sword, pole, etc., but in each chamber, he is faced with a new task, a new challenge that he fails completely, often multiple times. He makes it through each chamber partly because of his perseverance, but also because of his willingness to spend time thinking and breaking down each task into its simplest parts in order to figure out how to accomplish it.

It’s not enough to just think or do—both are required.

OnTap Issue 5

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How the Hell does this flute work?

San-Ta’s final task is to defeat one of his teachers in armed combat, a task he fails three times. He doesn’t get angry or mad or depressed; instead, he thinks. And thinks. Then he makes a new weapon: a staff made of three sections, with the strength of a staff, but the flexibility of a pair of nunchucks. With this, he succeeds. The lesson here is important: sometimes, to accomplish the task set out before you, you have to try something new. Something that is informed by all you’ve learned, but is unique to yourself, something that is your own.

The movie teaches much about learning: learning is best started at the beginning; you have to ask questions if you want to learn; difficult tasks can best be tackled both physically and mentally; sometimes you have to invent new ways of doing things; failure, even repeated failure, is a normal part of learning; practice and thinking are integral.

But what does the movie teach us about teaching?

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San-Ta’s teachers are firm, but patient. When he says he wants to learn, they teach him. When he tries to cheat, he is reprimanded. When he is not ready to move to a new chamber, they don’t let him. When he doesn’t know something, he isn’t punished for it. Instead, he’s given the opportunity to figure it out—to learn. Teachers are there to help if he needs it, but they’re not there to do the learning for him. They encourage him, but make it clear that if he wants to learn and wants to advance, it’s going to take work and perseverance and deep thought. Nothing is handed to him.

The movie ends as you would expect. San-Ta leaves the temple to find the man who murdered his family. They fight (man, do they fight). But then, San-Ta opens his own school, to teach his own students, to take what he has learned and bring it to those who want to learn. And this is the last thing we can take from the film as it ends: the best way to teach is to learn and the best way to learn is to teach. Stuart Taylor

OnTap Issue 5

How Not to Stress Out and Kill Yourself

Tips for surviving college

S

chool can be tough. If you’re like me, you have classes, homework, tests and/or papers, and work. Somewhere in between all of those things lies family and friends, dinner, sleep, and, if we’re really lucky, the occasional video game or movie. With all of this, it’s no wonder why students sometimes feel overwhelmingly stressed out. As a first year graduate student, taking nine hours of classes, being a graduate assistant, and teaching twenty hours a week, I’ve more than once had to tell myself, “Don’t stress out and kill yourself, Rebecca.” Shortly after, I feel the emptiness of words. Thus, I have comprised a list of things that help me not stress out and kill myself, and I hope they will help you too.

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one Get Organized For me, this is the most important first step to making sure that I both don’t get overwhelmed and do get everything done. We’ve all had that dream where it’s Monday morning and we’ve overslept on top of not finishing our homework just to wake up slobbering in our Odum library study room on the book we have to have finish reading in less than four hours. The way I avoid this nightmare becoming a reality is simple: make a list. It’s definitely an old school way of going about things, but once you reach the years we’ve reached, it’s hard to keep all the multitude of “to dos” in our heads. Friday afternoon, after my last class of the week, I sit down with my To Do notebook (yes, I’ve devoted a whole notebook to To Do lists) and list out class by class all the things that need to be done by the next Friday. Please note: your teachers give you syllabi, use them! Then, if I look at my list and still cannot comprehend how I’ll get all of these things finished, I sort them further by assigning days which each task must get done. There are different ways to organize: in order of due dates, in order of importance (i.e. sure, you have reading due on Monday, but that paper that’s due Tuesday is worth 40% of your grade, maybe this one time it’s more important to push the reading to the last minute work column), in order of fun (yes, sometimes there is homework you won’t hate; do that first to set a pace for the rest of your assignments), etc.

OnTap Issue 5

Advice from the people who go before us is always valuable. I interviewed several upperclassmen with good GPAs, asking them, “If you had one piece of advice for freshmen about how to best excel in college, what would it be?” Here is what they said.

“Take the time to study and know how you learn things.

Find what works for you.”

Jenna Willingham, junior “If I don’t understand something in class, I use the tutorials on YouTube.”

Thomas Ganas, junior “Make notes in your books.”

Chassity Dixon, senior “Spend time outside of class thinking about what was discussed. Don’t just flush out your mind when you walk out of the classroom.

That is the difference between a C student and an A student.”

Jared Setser, senior “Do not procrastinate. Read the material. When in doubt, use Sparknotes.”

Anna Lowther, junior So there you have it. No excuses not to excel now right?

-- MeredithMcDonald 58

two Form

Study Habits

My classes are many and still far between, which leaves me lingering on campus for at least two hours at a time. Instead of blowing time, I make it a habit to do some kind of homework during at least half of my on campus down time, whether it is reading, writing, studying, researching, etc. I pull out my handy dandy To Do notebook and search out the task that takes the least amount of time. I also keep my homework with me; if I have a book to read, I keep it in my purse. If I have research to complete, I keep my netbook on

me in case I end up with in a free WiFi area.

If I have writing to get done, I keep paper and pencil in my pockets. We get slowed down all the time at restaurants, coffee shops, the post office, etc. Make it a habit to keep some kind of work on you, and you’ll never have to bemoan how long it’s taking to get your oil changed. When I’m sitting down at home, I make a study plan, which must include breaks. After a three to four hours of work, I’ll take a half hour walk or watch an episode of Community or let myself play through three levels on Super Mario Wii; anything that’s very specific. Once my break is over, it’s over, and it’s back to work. All work and no play makes Rebecca extremely tired and ornery, so I make sure to always schedule in a little down time during studying. Which brings me to my next item:

College is a new lifestyle for most students. With so many large changes, your health is sometimes forgotten. Here are some ways to make sure you stay healthy while adjusting to your new environment.

Stay active: Getting to the gym everyday may be a struggle for a new college student with a packed schedule. Try small things like walking to class instead of taking the bus or getting dropped off. Another way to work out is by joining an athletic team. There are several recreational teams available such as basketball, softball or tennis at the Student Recreation Center.

Eat right: Counting calories is usually a little too much for the average student, but there are easier ways to eat healthy. Try your best to have five meals a day—everyday at the same time. You should eat a moderately sized breakfast, lunch, dinner and two small snacks.

For meals make sure you have a good balance of healthy food. Try vegetables instead of french fries and eat baked food instead of fried. For a snack, replace the usual unhealthy snacks with fruits and nuts. Most importantly—I know palms and Hopper dining have a lot to offer, but try not to overeat.

Don’t stress out: Being a college student is one of the most important times in a young person’s life. A key in succeeding is making sure to avoid stress. Being stressed can cause so many unhealthy habits, and it is bad for your body all together. If studying becomes stressful, try a change in venue. Choose a park instead of the hustle and bustle of campus. Always pace yourself. Use an agenda to plan your day so nothing sneaks up on you. Finally, don’t wait until the last minute; teachers supply students with syllabi so that students can plan for their assignments ahead of time.

These few tips can be a tremendous help in creating a healthy lifestyle while in college.

-- Asya Greenwood 57

OnTap Issue 5

three Me Time This is an absolute must.

Sometimes, you have to make time to watch Scott Pilgrim or eat dinner with friends or catch up on Dexter. Try to keep this in mind

when adding to your To Do list or, in my case, To Do notebook. I like to give myself specific times every week for Tom-foolery. After my last class on Friday, once my list is updated, I work for a few hours, then try to watch one of the eighty-two movies I own and have never

seen or go play in the park—nothing that takes more than a couple of hours. Then I get back to work. Come Sunday night, I know I’m taking a break to watch The Walking Dead, but until that point, it’s work time. You have to set yourself a rigorous schedule, but you can’t forget to schedule yourself in also.

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Regular Sleep, Diet, and Exercise

We’ve been told this for years, but now it’s really important. You have, I repeat, you HAVE to get regular sleep, maintain a regular diet, and participate in regular exercise if you want your body to be able to keep up with everything you’re forcing it through. College isn’t easy, and it takes a toll on your body. Now, only in an ideal world would you always get

eight hours of sleep, eat a salad and piece of fruit with every meal, and run three miles a day. However, on a less strict scale, this should be our goal. I make sure to get at least six hours of sleep every night. I always eat a reasonable breakfast, peanut butter toast or egg whites and a banana. I

make sure to drink at least more water than soda or sweet tea every day. And though I don’t practice an actual exercise regimen, I do make a fifteen minute walk to and from school three days a week. Like I said, it isn’t about living that ideal, but that should be the goal. Rebecca Thorn

Really busy? Make an UNschedule. On a piece of paper or a blank spreadsheet write out hour by hour all the things you know will happen that week: all your classes, any appointments, your work schedule, even when you plan on eating.

Then, block off some time for yourself: an hour for Glee, time at the gym, internet surfing, etc.

What’s left are blank spots of time you can use to work on assignments and projects for class!

Keep your unschedule with you so you can always know what you should be doing!

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A Pole A Day Keeps the Doctor Away!

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When I was a senior in high school, I realized I should probably start being healthy by going to the gym and eating better so that when I started college, I’d have a routine that didn’t feel like a struggle. My best friend and I started going to the gym, and I started laying off the French fries and Coca-colas.

However, subtract my best friend from that equation, and you’ve got a couch potato drinking a lot of diet root beer.

Though my weight wasn’t out of control, my breathing was whenever I tried to climb to the third floor of our beloved West Hall for my freshman composition course. Something had to be done, and done quickly.

I didn’t need a lot of time to realize that without my gym buddy, I didn’t like going. And I didn’t need much more time to realize that I wasn’t alone in that realization. A lot of people, especially girls, who I talked to didn’t like going to the gym alone either. Even with our similar realizations, my friends and I could never iron out our schedules so that we could go to the gym at the same time. While I have been able to get into the gym a few times each semester, I can honestly say I never learned to love the treadmill.

I’ve also attempted running outside, which is a little more enjoyable, but still doesn’t take my OnTap Issue 5

breath away, well, not in the enjoyable way at least.

I had to accept the fact that I don’t like working out. I thought I would always have this hate/hate relationship with fitness and that I would always have to struggle to stay in shape.

That is until my bestie Kat moved to Tallahassee and introduced me to a fitness fad I could fall for: pole dancing. Pole dancing carries this stigma of facilitating young girls with the removal of their clothing, especially young girls who have daddy issues or baby daddy issues. This stigma does not belong to the pole, though, just maybe the strip joint it’s in. Pole is a serious aerobic exercise that gets the heart-rate up and works every muscle in the body. It’s also hella fun.

Pole [dancing]is a serious aerobic exercise that gets the heartrate up and works every muscle in the body

The first time I was introduced to a pole, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would I fall? Would I look really stupid? Would I be a stripper? But I put silliness and self-consciousness aside, climbed on, and was sold. Kat started me like all beginners, with spins, and spins are fun.

Remember playing on the playground as a child? Climbing up and down the fireman pole to get to the top of the jungle gym?

Spinning around on the merrygo-round? Pole is like all these wonderful memories in one.

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And yes, it’s a workout. The day after my first encounter with pole dancing, my entire body was sore. I’m talking arms, legs, back, abs; every muscle in my body got a workout. Sure, I also had few bruises on my legs— even after three months, I still get bruises when I learn new moves. But the bruises are worth the benefits. In that short three months, I’ve lost five pounds, I can visibly see more definition in my arms and abs, and my thighs are each a half inch smaller. In addition to smaller and more defined, my whole body is getting stronger, like on my way to surviving the zombie apocalypse stronger.

relieve stress. The University of Manchester hosts pole fitness classes. Cardiff University and the University of Bristol have pole dancing societies that attend competitions. Poles no longer belong in red light districts and smoky strip joints; even institutions of higher education (at least in Europe) are beginning to hop on poles.

Right in Tallahassee, they are going up in the hottest bars in town. Patrons are putting quality poles in their own homes for

$300-$400 (the going price of the very cheapest Boflex). If you’re ready to feel sexy as hell while getting an amazing and fun workout, start pumping up the buzz about pole dancing around Valdosta. Don’t let another pole studio close because we can’t broaden our minds enough to accept pole as a legitimate, healthy activity. Maybe if we get really lucky, VSU will pop up a few somewhere on campus and offer classes!

Rebecca Thorn

At this point in my pole fitness routine, I’m learning inverts.

Only three months in and I can turn upside down. I haven’t had this much fun since The Gravitron. I recently joined Allure, a women’s fitness gym, and the only place I know of in Valdosta that houses poles and teaches classes. However, due most likely to the negative stereotype we all have placed on pole dancing (i.e. made for strippers), the gym wasn’t able to entice enough members, and has had to close after two years. Even with pole looming in the margins of the Olympics, many refuse to see the benefits of the exercise. However, Cambridge University offers pole classes to 63

OnTap Issue 5

Pole Room Essentials Funky Lighting

Dancing Music!

Because it’s fun!

anything you can move to works: Dubstep, Hip Hop, even Classical.

Whatever you prefer.

Floor Pad For the super daring inverts!

Note: You need at least 10x10 foot space for your pole!

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Towel to whip sweat off the pole so you don’t slip off!

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Fitness Pole-itics:

Confessions of a Pole Dancer with Katherine McKinney

What turned you on to pole dancing?

I was sitting in Club Paradise watching a determined stripper inch her way up the galvanized steel pole--upside down. Later, I would find out that those in the pole community call this move the "catepillar." I knew at that moment that I wanted to be able to recreate that display of strength and agility.

How long have you been poling?

I began poling in August 2010.

What’s your favorite thing about pole?

Learning new tricks makes me feel incredibly strong. I am addicted to the rush of attaining a new trick and pushing my body past its limits.

What health and fitness benefits have you seen personally since you began?

Weight loss, increased flexibility and agility, and increased stamina, health-wise. I've also met many new friends in the pole community.

Do you feel like people think badly or differently of you, knowing that you pole? Do you feel like there is a stigma you are working against?

Absolutely. I've heard girls say that stripping is "degrading," and I've heard girls say that stripping is empowering. I don't want to conflate pole fitness with stripping, but I think ignoring the marginalized forerunners who created the sport is incredibly shortsighted and demeaning. Those in the pole fitness community often rush to reassure others that pole fitness is nothing like stripping, and I disagree with that approach.

There are as many different types of pole fitness as there are types of gymnastics, and while some studios strip the dance down to the tricks, others celebrate the sexy, fluid motions found in a club. I'd just like to remind everyone that the Waltz was once banned in parts of Europe. Social mores change, so confidence and a refusal to revise the past will lessen the stigma over time.

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What are the benefits of having a pole in your house, as opposed to just going to a studio?

You must have a pole at home if you plan to become an advanced pole fitness student.

Unless you're able to hang around your studio day and night, you need the flexible schedule that having a pole provides.

If there’s not a studio nearby, would you still recommend someone having a pole in their house? What are some ways they could learn moves and routines if there isn’t anyone in town to teach them?

I work out at Art of the Catwalk (Tallahassee, FL), and the welcoming atmosphere and wonderful friends I've met make it tough for me to imagine not being able to visit a pole studio. However, StudioVeena.com provides a low-cost, extremely thorough set of lessons for someone with no access to a pole studio. Besides the lessons, the free Studio Veena forum has helped resolve many of the technical difficulties I've encountered during the past year.

Is there anything else you’d like to say about pole fitness?

Try it! You'll love it!

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Love the Way You Lie!

Just when I thought I’d heard all the lies that could be told and the games that guys could play, I swear, another douche bag comes along and smacks me straight in the face, like Ike Turner, with something new.

It’s gotten to the point where I can’t help but look for the next potential “playa, playa” to do or say something to give me a serious case of déjà vu. At the end of the day, I have the most popular failed-attempt-at-meeting-a-standup-guy stories at lunch with my girls—so the flukes are good for something, a good laugh.

My list could run deep and far, and when I say far, think far-fetched. I could publish a book based off the simple things guys try to pull. The funny thing to me is that they actually think that the lying and the games work—of course, if you’re going for that “no honesty” look in a relationship.

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She’s just my home-girl: but the “home-girl” is secretly thinking the same thing about you.

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My battery died, the signal was lost, my phone was on silent, or I couldn’t get to the phone. Every time I called? Really?

I want to be with you but I can’t: because something important came up. Lie! Yeah, something so important that you took it out to the movies.

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For the ones who can’t keep up with their partners and call you by another name then play it off, “Oh, that’s my sister.

She’s been on my mind lately.”

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Usher’s “There Goes My Baby” goes off on his cell, but that’s his mom ringtone…child please!!

My favorite: Why you have to question me? You don’t trust me? Let me see… (Wait for a small voice to tell me something)…no.

All of a sudden, his time is of the essence: “Baby, I’ll make it up to you.

I’m serious.” Trust me, he isn’t.

I would play the devil’s advocate and make the necessary excuses for all the “dawgs” in training, but the only thing I can come up with is that they probably just need to grow up. There should come a point in a guy’s life when he should be able to decide, “Why should I play these games,” but that is just every girl’s fantasy world, now isn’t it?

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stalkers

We are so used to hearing only the negative spin on Facebook stalkers, but some of these kids have real gusto. Stalkees just don’t take into consideration how much work their stalkers are putting into the stalking. I have been privileged, however, with the opportunity to go behind the scenes with an actual Facebook stalker and really get into the nitty gritty of the masterful art.

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I sit on the plush, paisley couch of Chuckie Edwards, a local

dolled up every now and then. Would you say I’m a friend?

Facebook stalker, as he divulges a few of his tried and true stalking methods: “Facebook stalking is all about commitment. Whenever you stalk, if your prey, or, rather, object,

Or a stalker? I’m not a stalker, I’m an enthusiast. I just want to know you, make a comfortable and understanding environment for you.”

has two thousand pictures, you have to look through each and every one, despite hand cramps or homework.” It’s this devoted, never-say-die attitude that gets a stalker to his goal: a date.

As we close the interview, Chuckie moves a little closer to push one last imperative point of stalking: “You never know unless you try.” Stalkers have to put themselves out there, no matter what. That final yes, or, sadly, no, is what stalk-

Chuckie coolly explains that stalkers need to have perseverance on top of commitment. On the same token, perseverance needs to be balanced with caution. “When your object

ing is all about. For posterity, Chuckie ends with a very personal anecdote of a girl he stalked. His interest hated Mondays, he tells me, and that’s what did it for him. He

says something funny, you want to make [him or her] feel

sent a few messages and a few IMs. He was even defriended

good about it, but remember that you want [this person] to be yours, so watch your response.” A stalker really has to show his interest without coming off as creepy. He or she

a couple of times, “but she’d always add me back. She was really forgiving.” After circling the drain wondering if they were ever going to be a couple, he took her dog. He just had

needs to be funny because humor softens strangers, but he doesn’t want to be overwhelming, so the humor may need

to know what it was like to be a part of her life. Sadly, it didn’t work out for him. He graciously brought her dog back

to be toned down just a little. A stalker has to put in a lot of effort to make sure he’s being noticed without being suspicious, which can prove to be quite a tricky task.

after a fun stroll and some ice cream in the park, but she was unfortunately with another guy. “I should have acted faster. If I had just gone up to her and said, ‘hey, you have a really nice style, let me take you and your pup to the park,’ maybe that other guy wouldn’t have been there.” With a heart wrenching tear in his eye, Chuckie gives one last reminder to all stalkers to be persistent, make the moves, and never give up.

“Stalkers should always be prepared for rejection,” Chuckie informs me. Not everyone you want to stalk is going to add you as a friend on Facebook, and with recent security changes, it’s almost imperative that stalkers actually get accepted as a friend. “Make sure you’re a friend of a friend, that way it seems like you just want to be fake friends over the internet, when really you want to see what [this person] does with [his or her] friends on the weekends and maybe one day be the person standing beside [him or her].” Rejection hurts, but aspiring stalkers have to remember their work will eventually pay off and they will find someone.

One of the most important things every stalker needs to know is how to deflect accusations of stalking. “Let’s say I’ve been through all your photos,” Chuckie explains to me with very serious eyes. “I know you like river rafting. I know you have a friend named Adam. I know you like to get

Please note: Although Chuckie Edwards is a fictional character, he represents the reality of stalkers. While writing this article, I realized exactly what someone could find out about my life via Facebook. I quickly went to my privacy settings and blocked everything from people who weren’t my friends. It’s not difficult to not be found on Facebook. I advise all readers to take a close look at their Facebook security settings and make sure their shared information and photos are only accessible to whomever they allow. And, of course, never put anything personal on the internet.

Rebecca Thorn and Sam Lane

Let’s say I’ve been through all your photos. . . . I know you like river rafting. I know you have a friend named Adam. I know you like to get dolled up every now and then. Would you say I’m a friend? Or a stalker? I’m not a stalker, I’m an enthusiast. I just want to know you, make a comfortable and understanding environment for you.

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AUTHORS as food

“

Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested

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”

– Francis Bacon

he likening of literature to brain food is an interesting analogy. Books are one of the few things our brains can consume, so it makes sense to view them as a sort of food. But what kind of food exactly? In order to answer that question, we need to look, not at the book, but at the author, and see what food they represent.

Stephen King: Both are Flannery O’ Connor: probably best Spaghetti Pistachios enjoyed when

The short stories of the Southern writer are like pistachios. you’re young and your tastes are still Sometimes it’s tough to get into them, but when you do, developing. Nothing spectacular about you’re likely to over-consume. And though you’ll feel either and Americans probably consume queasy once you’ve finished, you’ll be craving more. both more than they should, but every now and then, you just get one of those cravings and nothing else will satisfy it. Banality never tasted so good.

F. Scott Fitzgerald: Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby is the perfect Ketchup expression of his thematic interests: love lost, rich people juxtaposed to poor people, dreams dying. Heinz ketchup is the perfect expression of ketchup, but people and companies keep trying to make a better ketchup. Just like Fitzgerald kept writing and rewriting about the same ideas, themes and situations, long after he had already perfectly expressed them.

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Shirley Jackson: Garbanzo Beans

Ernest Hemingway: Mustard

This Nobel laureate inspired a school of literary theory and his own genre to boot. Likewise, his spice-based equivalent has yielded some of the finest condiments to grace our sandwiches. While the derivatives may be delectable and easy to consume, the foundation from which they came are a chore to get through.

Most people only remember Shirley Jackson for her short story, “The Lottery.” Most people only remember garbanzo beans as that vague space between French-style green beans and black-eyed peas on the grocery store shelves. But the truth is garbanzo beans are a wonderful source of protein, fiber, iron, magnesium, potassium, and zinc and can be added to a number of dishes with a few minutes prep time. And the truth is Shirley Jackson wrote dozens of solid short stories, and what could be the best horror novel of the 20th century, The Haunting of Hill House.

For all that, they’re both woefully underappreciated.

Cormac McCarthy: Veal

Something innocent was slaughtered in the making and, generally speaking, the more blood there is, the better. It can be difficult to get through the whole thing sometimes, yet some mysterious force compels you to power through it. When you’re done, you take a cold shower keep to yourself for a while as you digest the carnage (both literally and figuratively).

Dorianne Laux: Dark Chocolate

Contemporary poet Dorianne Laux’s poems are like a bite of dark chocolate. There’s the moon hovering above us and there’s the mother defending her dead son, the violent son, the one who lied and stole. There’s vacation sex and there’s the homeless couple in an empty parking lot. There’s a teenager’s first job at fourteen and there’s his father being slowly worn down by a combination of cancer and chemotherapy. Just like that bite of dark chocolate, eighty percent, eighty-five, there is the sweet and there is the bitter and in Laux’s work, it is all given a kind of beauty.

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William Faulkner: Barbeque Slow and Low works for both of them. They can get really messy if you’re not careful, but if you take your time and enjoy all the subtleties and nuances, then it’ll probably be one of the greatest things you ever had.

Also, you’ll probably want to take a nap afterwards.

Toni Morrison: Key lime pie is one of my faKey Lime Pie vorite pies. The thing about them though is that key limes have to be used to give them the right flavor.

Key limes have a thinner rind than normal limes, making them more perishable, and key lime trees are thorny as hell. But the taste is more tart than a normal lime, and the aroma is sweeter, lending the key lime pie its unique flavor. Toni Morrison, author of Beloved, Song of Solomon, and The Bluest Eye, crafts stories that if written by anyone else but her would lose their unique flavor, their aromatic sweetness, that mix of tart taste with a small hint of sugar.

Henry David Thoreau: Beans Henry David Thoreau is beans. Plain beans.

Maybe with a little salt. Maybe cooked, maybe raw. Have you read Walden? We’ll be lucky to get salt.

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iewing classic and contemporary authors as food doesn’t necessarily make them any easier to digest (we kill us!), but it provides a convenient lens through which to view their auras. In the future, we hope to discuss several more authors through several different lenses, including, but not limited to cocktails (James Baldwin as Bitters and Absolut, anybody?), household appliances (David Kirby as a blender), and classic automobiles (somebody…as a… something). Okay, we may not do that last one.

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, s r a ! c s s r a O c s o m h S Just when you thought the Oscars were safe, think again. From the people who brought you “Geocashing” and “Guac Rawk” comes a rambling venture of epic proportions. In a twist you won’t see coming, two rebel writers will finally take a stand against the academy who’s been screwing up for years. In a heartwarming tale of two smalltown kids with big city dreams, Stuart and Rebecca will do the possible—disagree with the Oscars.

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Before embarking on this operation of disagreement, we will give some props (pun intended) to the Oscars. First off, no qualms with Best Actor Colin Firth, Best Actress Natalie Portman, Best Supporting Actor Christian Bell, or Best Supporting Actress Melissa Leo. Spot on, Oscars. Spot on. Also, kudos for choosing the right cinematography, sound editing, sound mixing, visual effects (all to Inception), and original score (to Social Network). Generally, we like it (that’s a movie joke). However, we still have a few grievances:

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Film Editing And the winner is:

The Social Network (Other nominees: Black Swan, The Fighter, The King’s Speech, 127 Hours)

Rebecca: Hi, yeah, where is Inception on this list?

Stuart: I concur. Film editing is the last draft of the film, where all the shots upon shots, the reams upon reams of film strip, have to be shaped into a cohesive narrative (like that scene in Ghost, but without Patrick Swayze). Filmmaking is a visual medium, and the editor creates a two-hour visual out of thousands of hours of visuals. Out of the nominees, yes, The Social Network is the winner. But Inception’s editor, especially in the fifth and sixth acts of the film, had to juggle four different layers of a story simultaneously.

R: So in other words, film editing is the “final” draft of a film—it’s fixing the grammar errors of the original images, making it all understandable for an audience. The last half of Inception is a doozy! But I never get lost. Definitely best editing.

2012 Oscars which aired on

February 26, 2012 are currently under scrutiny

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Writing (Original Screenplay)

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And the winner is:

The King’s Speech (Other nominees: Another Year, The Fighter, Inception, The Kids are Alright) S: At the risk of nit-picking, The King’s Speech is not an original screenplay. It is based off of a play. Director Tobe Hooper has said multiple times that he discovered the play when his mother went to a reading of it. It’s a great screenplay, but it is in the wrong category.

R: Completely agreed. It’s wonderfully written, but it’s an adaptation from a play, like Doubt from a couple of years ago, Chicago before that, and all the other plays which have been adapted into screenplays and nominated for Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay). The real Best Writing (Original Screenplay)? Inception. Not only is the concept verging on phenomenal, but the writing is so meticulously done that the story, though complicated, is never confusing (to use Stuart’s wording from previous conversations).

S: Not that I can blame The King’s Speech producers for getting it put into the original screenplay category. I would not want to go up against Aaron Sorkin’s script for The Social Network either.

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Directing And the winner is:

The King’s Speech (Other nominees: Black Swan, The Fighter, The Social Network, True Grit)

R: Okay. Colin Firth—67 titles including Then English Patient and Girl with a Pearl Earring, Geoffrey Rush—48 titles including Quills and Shakespeare in Love, Jessie Eisenberg—25 titles including Adventureland and Zombieland, and Justin Timberlake—19 titles including The Mickey Mouse Club and Dick in a Box (as well as Alpha Dog which must be mentioned). Who do you think would be more easily directed? Firth and Rush (who have previously won Oscars) or Eisenberg and Timberlake (who are comparatively young in the industry)? All of the actors in the nominated films are possibly equally talented, but some have been more refined—they know the ropes a little better. Eisenberg and Timberlake are extremely talented, as evinced in The Social Network, but their having less experience means they probably need more direction, especially to make a film that can boast equal to the others in this category.

S: Also, David Fincher, The Social Network director, (and Aaron Sorkin, writer) did the impossible: they made a movie about Facebook and they made it compelling, absorbing and interesting. A movie. About Facebook. Interesting.

Best Picture And the winner is:

The King’s Speech (Other nominees: Black Swan, The Fighter, Inception, The Kids are Alright, 127 Hours, The Social Network, Toy Story 3, True Grit, Winter’s Bone)

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S: As much as I like The King’s Speech, it’s an easy story to tell that’s been told before. A troubled, smart man overcomes a disability. Sound familiar? Shine, A Beautiful Mind, it goes on and on. And The King’s Speech is largely centered around the wonderful performances of Colin Firth and Geoffery Rush—The Social Network, on the other hand, is centered around everything. Take out the tent-pole performances of Rush or Firth and the whole thing falls apart.

While everyone involved in The Social Network is on point, if you took any one performance out, the film would still be standing.

R: I agree with all of that, so my agreement is going to make my argument for Black Swan a little less moving because the same thing could be said about that movie concerning Natalie Portman’s performance. Nonetheless, out of the six nominees that we watched, Black Swan is the movie that goes home with you. The story is as close to universal as possible, and it’s not a smidgen trite. It affects. Parts of it are so painful because you see part of yourself in Portman’s character; I don’t see any of myself in a stuttering king, a boy millionaire, an old west head hunter, or a boxer. While maybe I could imagine becoming a filthy rich teenager or facing adversity and becoming what I always wanted to become or some other abstracted theme from one of these films, I don’t have to imagine wanting to be the best at what I’m already doing—this is part of human nature. Black Swan presents a reality the other films don’t, and in just as much, if not more, completeness.

S: And that’s what makes the Best Picture category so difficult to define; there are no set criteria to judge Best Pictures by. Making an argument about Best Score or Best Cinematography or Best Performance is much more objective, but making one about Best Picture is a crapshoot. Ask ten different people which film they think is the best and why, and you’ll get ten different answers. I relate more to Social Network because of the ambiguity of it. At the end, you’re not told who was right and who was wrong, or even who the idea of Facebook belongs to. You’re just told different stories from the different perspectives of the people involved and left to make sense of it yourself.

R: Maybe, but that seems more of your own interpretation of the film. I still think Black Swan both defines and stays aloof…And so our fearless heroes agreed to disagree and lived happily ever after.

Stuart Taylor and Rebecca Thorn

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Good Will Fashion "Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that it must be changed every six months."

- Oscar Wilde

Fashion: 1) v. to build or make 2) n. prevailing custom of the day

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Good Will: n.

Something we don't see nearly enough of these days

OnTap Issue 5

Remember when fashion was a luxury for the rich and powerful? Of course, you do.

It was only a few centuries ago. Then, the story goes that a middle class was eventually born, above the poor but not above adopting cheap knock-offs of higher-class fashions they could still barely afford.

I actually hate Vince Gill

Flash-forward to the twentieth century: little has changed beyond year-specific trends, compounded by more and better technologies every decade that make each and every new fashion more publicly known.Somewhere along the way, people adopt the notion of styles-become-fashionable-again-every-couple-decadesor-so.

I suppose we can't all be Lady Gaga, with her endless disposable income and reckless abandon of social conventions. She's painting eyeballs on her eyelids one moment, dressing up like a walking commercial for bath bubbles another, and becoming what could only be described as Marilyn Manson's female doppelganger the next.

Even if there's no account for taste, there's plenty for consistency and creativity. Of course, even where there is plenty, there is plenty to be insecure about, as Gaga admits: she's just like "any other insecure 24-year-old."

And maybe if we were doing more with our lives, we wouldn't feel so empty, so naked under all those clothes. Now that clothes are cheap and inspiration is even cheaper, the way we dress has become less indicative of our individuality and more about our inability to find individuality in an increasingly bland and empty world. I, for one, love to look good (on a budget) and differentiate myself from others but I never let that alone define me. There are more important things in life. Daniel DeMersseman

Flash-forward to the Internet Age, high speed.

Decades of every imaginable style from the past century are now widely available everywhere at the click of a button. And you'll find a wealth of them in secondhand stores everywhere.

As many clothes as I've donated over the years, I've never set foot in a Good Will, though there's no shortage of people who seem to have never left the place. You've seen them: some are homeless; some are bored twentysomethings with a little money (just not enough for a cocaine addiction), clothed in irony to cover up their otherwise-uninteresting lives and personalities.

I’m gonna wear this to the club.

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Three Keys to Creativity

Creativity…

When most people hear this word, they tend to imagine some eccentric genius like Albert Einstein. But everyone has the potential for creativity.

an example of the creative part of your brain at work. The plan was changed, but your brain still came up with a different way to get what you needed. In this case, the coffee.

Think about the last time something went wrong with your plans. Perhaps you ran out of coffee in the morning and had to make a stop at Starbucks on the way to school or work. This is an everyday occurrence that people would think little of, but changing the plan from making your coffee when you awaken to going to Starbucks for your fix is

But why would I want to be more creative, you may ask?

The answer to this is simple.

The more creative you are, the better your chances of being successful at school, work, and life in general. Creativity can help you with everything from writing that monster of a paper to finding ways to improve your company at work, to solving a

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sticky relationship problem.

Most people know that someone who can quickly adapt when thing don’t go as planned has a much higher chance for success in all areas of life than someone who can’t.

So how do we harness and develop our personal creativity to our advantage?

The first key is to let go of our fears about what other people think.

Think of the most creative person that you know. Is that perOnTap Issue 5

The more creative you are, the better your chances of being successful at school, work, and life in general. son afraid of what people think?

Or does he or she flow with their own intuition and take risks? People who have fully unleashed their creativity know that the people who find the greatest success in life are the ones who aren’t afraid to take a chance on things in spite of others’ opinions. So go ahead. Do that thing that you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t tried because you’ve been afraid of what people might think.

Children are known for thinking creatively because they haven’t yet become self-conscious about their own thoughts and ideas.

A third way to enhance your creativity is to go somewhere quiet once in a while so you can actually hear yourself think.

Yes, this means turning off the TV, your phone, your iPod and any other distractions. Try once a week to turn off your technology and do something that en-

hances your creative powers.

Build a puzzle, draw, paint, freewrite in a journal, play an instrument, do some kind of craft, cook a new recipe, or just take a walk in the woods with nothing but your own mind as company.

Listen to your thoughts as you do these things. You may just find that you have more creative ideas than you thought you did.

Remember: being creative doesn’t mean you have to be a genius. Creativity is something that’s already in all of us. So the next time you’re stumped by a problem at work or need an idea for a project or paper, try following these three steps and just listen to yourself without distractions for once. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you hear. Hannah Bessinger

The second key to unleashing your creativity is to try to view the world through new eyes.

This means practicing looking at things through different viewpoints. Imagine yourself as someone else for a few minutes.

Your teacher, your boss, your friend or that person sitting across from you in class. Try to see the world as they see it. Pretend you’ve never seen anything that you’re looking at. What things do you notice that you wouldn’t normally think about?

What sights, sounds, smells, tastes and feelings have escaped you before now? It sounds corny and cliché, but try to remember how you saw things as a child.

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Finding Wilderness in the City MOVING TO A BIG CITY CAN BE DIFFICULT. Obviously, you have to learn the layout, fight traffic, set up bills and utilities and whatnot, all while trying to fit into the hustle and flow of the city itself. It’s easy to get swept away and lost, but what’s even easier is to grow resentful of large cities, especially if you’re fonder of the countryside. Lucky for you, I’ve made up some rules that will delight your inner Bear Grylls or, at the very least, get you out of town for a day or two so you can relax.

Step 1: BUY A MAP Seems silly, doesn’t it? Well, stop criticizing my method. The first and most important step is to familiarize yourself with the layout of the city you’re in. I recently moved to Tallahassee, FL. The city has two major universities, a sizeable downtown full of municipal buildings, and several commercialized districts that exist solely for your shopping pleasure. And you’ll find that most major cities are the same. Atlanta has both the campuses of Georgia State and Georgia Tech, as well as about 18 Peachtree Streets to shop on.

New Orleans has Tulane University and the historic f*cking French Quarter. If you go looking for wilderness in these places and come back disappointed, it’s your own fault.

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OnTap Issue 5

Step 2: LEAVE THE CITY

Seriously. I keep trying to think of a joke to tell here, but there isn’t one. Get out of the city. If you’re in the middle of a major university or a multi-level shopping center, chances are you’re a good ways away from the Amazon, so stop looking for it.

It’s a sad truth that the price of commercialization is the evacuation of trees from the surrounding area(s).

But just because you can’t find the countryside in the city’s largest mall doesn’t mean that the city is completely void of it.

Generally speaking, you’ll find much of the commercialized districts close to each other.

Here in Tallahassee, FAMU and FSU are only about a mile apart from each other. Both campuses are only a couple blocks from downtown, which is only about a mile from the mall and the surrounding shopping centers.

Now this wide web of “citylivin’” is located pretty much in the middle of Tallahassee.

Again, most cities are the same.

Georgia State University and Georgia Tech are within three miles of each other and both are only a mile from the interstate.

And what’s on the other side of the interstate? Downtown Atlanta. Hell, even Valdosta, GA OnTap Issue 5

follows this format; their university is a couple blocks in one direction from their “historic” downtown and less than a mile in another direction from the mall/shopping district. And Valdosta’s probably one-tenth the

size of Atlanta.

But what if you’re not able to get out of the city? Say maybe you don’t have a car or you only want to get away for an hour or two. How do you find the wilderness within the city?

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My mom used to say she could fit what she knew about railroads on the tip of a pen and still have room left over. Sad to say I inherited much of my knowledge about the railroad system from her.

But I have managed to learn one thing: building a railroad doesn’t work the way commercialization does. You don’t have to clear out a whole bunch of land; you only need a relatively narrow path and it doesn’t matter where it runs. Railroads run along the busiest districts and the densest forests; they’re impartial that way.

When I lived in Valdosta, I had this one spot I

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Step 3: FOLLOW THE RAILROAD

would go to get away. It was along the shallower part of the Alapaha River. And guess what passed right over it? No, seriously, I want you to guess.

That’s right, a railroad. And that brings me to my final and most important rule.

http://www.hdwallpaper.co.in/wallpapers/broken-train-track-1920x1080.jpg

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Step 4: FIND LITTER

http://lisaracz.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/055.jpg

Allow me to make a distinction first. You’re not looking for a landfill. Or the city dump.

You’re looking for some trash on the ground. Think about it.

You’re trying to get out of the city, right? Away from the tall buildings and cars and pushy people? You want to find a place that not that many people know about.

Litter is the key. It tells you that occasionally, (wasteful and inconsiderate) people have been there, but more importantly, it tells you that mostly people have not been there. If it was a OnTap Issue 5

place a lot of people went to, someone would most likely be in charge of cleaning it up. But since it’s still there, it just means that someone was passing by and threw an empty bag of Doritos on the ground in an otherwise deserted place.

And there it will stay. Perhaps until a bird uses it for a nest or a deer chokes on it. See, that’s what nature is. Like, real nature.

Animals coming up against outside forces and either adapting or succumbing to it. And lucky you will be there to watch.

Justin DeVane

Take some pictures for me. And if you have the chance, pick up some of that litter.

You know, just to keep our place a secret.

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