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Come and see!
DIsCERnMEnT retreat participants pray with the Carmelite Fathers of Middletown, n.y.
Vocation discernment retreats offer opportunities to experience the prayer life and work of a religious community and let you get a feel for this unique way of life.
by lauRa dodsoN L isTEninG is the main task of discernment,” says sister Mariette Therese Bernier, o.s.B., vocation director for the Benedictine sisters of Elizabeth, new Jersey, as she reflected on her experience at a vocation discernment retreat before she entered religious life. “in daily life, it’s not usual to come in contact with other people considering a religious vocation. i attended a discernment retreat and enjoyed the interaction
laura Dodson is a freelance journalist blessed to be able to combine her pastoral ministry education and experience with her passion to spread the good news of the Catholic faith. with other discerners. it was a time for personal reflection and with the community—it furthered the process of my calling. The more time i spent, the more i realized that it was my calling, and the more comfortable i became, the more i realized that i could do this.”
A discernment retreat is a stop along the journey to explore God’s purpose for an individual life. it offers a chance to come away, to be with others on a similar path, and to find a place of quiet to listen so as to hear God speak. it is
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a time of discovery, not necessarily decision.
These retreats can involve looking at the direction of your life, discerning religious life, determining whether a particular religious community is right for you, or some or all of the above. They can last from a day to overnight to an entire weekend; some communities host longer “live-in” experiences for a week or even a month as well. Meals and prayer times are frequently spent with members of the community so that retreatants can have a better understanding of community life and enjoy
the stories and fellowship of the sisters, priests, brothers, and others who have recently responded to the call and are already in formation. (see the box at right for the kinds of activities most discernment retreats offer.)
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“i’m 48, an older vocation,” says Father Vincent Wirtner, C.PP.s., who was ordained in June 2010. “When i came [to a discernment retreat],
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i wanted to soak it all in. i listened a lot and wasn’t pressured to share. i was in my mid-30s, active in my parish, but i didn’t need to ask questions. Everyone else was answering my questions in their own sharing and that was very unique for me since i’m an extrovert and used to sharing. it was an opportunity for me to listen to the spirit speaking through others. i was listening to the voice of God through the stories of other people and letting it sink in.
Finding that home and community are one of the major challenges of vocation discernment, says
Father Brian smail, o.F.M., vocation Red Hook, new york accepted an indirector for the Franciscan Friars, vitation to enter formation with the Province of the Most Holy name of Carmelite Friars of st. Elias Province Jesus in silver spring, Maryland. At in Harrison, new Jersey. He was a the time of this writing they had five senior communications and media men in formation—the largest group major at Mount st. Mary College in five years. in newburgh, new york, actively
“our greatest challenge is that involved in campus ministry and the young people today have so planning to graduate in May 2012. many options,” smail says. “To actu- He attended a discernment retreat ally consider religious life as an op- weekend in June 2011, applied to tion—it gets pushed to the bottom of the community in october, and will the list. it really is a very rewarding enter formation in the fall of 2012. life, and our come and see discern“i was with six other young ment weekends are a men,” Richmond says
way to convey that. “ in describing his reour goal for these Take the risk treat experience. “We weekends is to show it takes to come and discerned our call that it’s a great way see. it’s finding where by listening to friars to spend a life. The our gifts are best used from the province. We retreats are very infor- for the community and sat and talked about mal and participants can plug in as they wish. Participants discovering you feel at home, respected.” when the Holy spirit grabbed us, where we see ourselves in the want something more future, and where is in life. There’s a nagging for some- God present in our lives.” thing more. There is something miss- one of the unique elements of ing. They’re unsettled. They need to this discernment retreat weekend is just come and see.” that on saturday the retreatants are sister Pauline Bouton, o.P., taken to the national shrine of our codirector of sisters in temporary Lady of Mount Carmel in Middleton, profession for the dominican sisters new york. They receive a packed of Mission san Jose in Fremont, Cali- lunch and the Gospel of Mark to fornia, agrees on the need discerners read. They have three hours to sit feel for “something more.” “it’s part and ponder. At the conclusion they of our charism to reach out to the return to the chapel of the shrine to young. They’re really made to feel reflect on the day’s events and where comfortable to ask any question,” their life-direction is going. she says. “discernment retreats are “scripture is our big thing,” says a real connecting with young people vocation director Brother Robert hungering for spirituality.” Bathe, o.Carm., “and i can’t tell you how many miracles have come out of A tap on the shoulder reading the Gospel of Mark! i make a point that they are not coming here Last december Paul Richmond of to meet people but to have a strong
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encounter with God. We provide the opportunity for silence, formative talks, and community time.”
Richmond says that the period following the retreat was an intense one of discernment, and he sees his communications and media major as an opportunity to share his gifts with the church. “i came to the conclusion after much constant prayer and daily Mass altar-serving that i’m called as a priest,” he says. “Carmelite spirituality is all about prayer, service, and community. The thing i love about the Carmelites is that they’re always laughing together, but during liturgy i see a reverence and real devotion to Mary and God in serving the community. They love what they do. Jesus just tapped me on the shoulder and said, ‘Follow me.’ ”
AT A DIsCERnMEnT retreat for both men and women sponsored by the Missionaries and sisters of the Precious Blood, participants listen to Father James seibert, C.PP.s. speak about the religious orders’ history.
After participating in three retreats over the course of three years, James smith applied to and was accepted into the Missionaries of the Precious Blood. “The retreats were an opportunity to explore further connections with others in formation and be around members of communities,” smith says.
There is a distinct difference in the retreats smith attended. The Missionaries of the Precious Blood offer collaborative retreats with the sisters of the Precious Blood in dayton, ohio. The men stay at the st. Charles spiritual Center in Carthagena, ohio
and the women at the spiritual Center of Maria stein, eight miles away in Maria stein, ohio.
The collaborative retreats begin separately with a meal on Friday night, but then the men join the women at the Maria stein Center for prayer, scripture reading, table discussion, and a social. on saturday morning the men return to the Maria stein Center for a communal breakfast, separate for a morning session, and then come together for Mass and lunch. They split up again for afternoon sessions on discernment, and then the women join the men at the st. Charles Center for social time. on sunday they are again together at st. Charles for Mass and lunch.
“The spiritual component of being together gave a more holistic view—a completion of perspective,” smith says. “We’re man and woman
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in the world by nature and it gives better strength and validity to my own experience because i’m hearing what someone different from me brings to the table, which points out the uniqueness from my own experience which i bring. Hearing the sharing from women discerning and from women in ministry gives a more complete image of the divine.”
Tanya Broerman has attended the collaborative retreats for the past three years, and her experience illustrates the fact that taking part in a discernment retreat does not have to lead directly to entrance
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four tips for getting the most out of a discernment retreat:
1. Be open to where god is leading you
2. set aside your fears
3. Plan ahead for follow-up prayer-time and possibly visits to other communities as well as talks with a spiritual director and/or a vocation minister
4. Realize that discernment is a process and you won’t necessarily leave with “the answer”
into a community. it can have value for reflecting on your life’s direction and calling. “it’s nice to know that you’re not the only one in your age group feeling
called,” Broerman “says. “it’s different than when you’re out with your peers in the secular world. People think you’re crazy when you say you’re called, but at the retreats you can appreciate your own spirituality. . . . it’s uplifting to share the same focus and understand the difficulties with it—the same struggles.” sister Carolyn Hoying, C.PP.s. knew in high school that she was called to be a sister and will be celebrating her golden jubilee in August 2012. in elementary education for most of her career, she has been the vocation director for her community, coordinating the discernment retreats, for the past nine years. “We have a collaborative family of Precious Blood Missionaries and sisters,” she says. “The collaborative retreats are so successful because we both have the same charism and we express how we live it out as men and women. “one of the highlights for the women on saturday is the Emmaus Walk,” sister Hoying says. “The retreatants pair with sisters to each share their journey and to build a relationship. your life is a journey forever and the question to ask is, ‘What is God calling you to?’ ” “Does this feel like home?” Acknowledging the many options out there for young people, sister Bouton says:
People think “Get information, but you’re crazy when don’t drown yourself in you say you’re called, 92 communities. There but at the retreats are wonderful comyou can appreciate munities in your own your own spirituality.” backyard. There’s a real hunger for relationship with God with community support that shares your values and ideals. Find someone who can help you sift through to know the best choice for you and the world. Listen to your heart. does this feel like home—a place where you could be your best self—maybe even bigger than you imagine?” =
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