York Vision 208 - Scene

SCENE Issue 208 - 29th June 2010

THE MISERABLE RICH

MUSIC

SPOTLIGHT

FILM

TV

Music News...

MAMA WILL DO

P

ixie Lott still lives at home with her family, and shares a room with her sister, when she's not on tour.

"Charlie-Ann and I share a room still, but she's often at her boyfriend's," Lott explained.

The youngest of three clearly enjoys her home comforts as much as the next student, explaining: "it's great being at home because I get all my washing done, but next year I would like to buy my own flat in London."

Rock and roll, Pixie. Rock and roll...

SMACKED THAT

GAMES

BOOKS

CULTURE

LISTINGS

JAIME RILEY reveals all the latest news and gossip from the music industry

E

minem has recently smacked down anti-gay marriage criticism, saying that equality across all relationships should be encouraged.

The rapper, 38, has previously expressed homophobic beliefs, although last week revealed that his beliefs today are somewhat "more mature" than before.

In the past, Mathers courted both sides of controversy, kissing Elton John in 2001 while also writing lyrics such as, "hate fags? The answer's yes."

His views on marriage, whether samesex or otherwise, still remain unclear, as the 8 Mile star also added, "everyone should have the chance to be equally miserable."

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

T

he world's first vuvuzela symphony has been written and posted online by an anonymous composer.

The internet sensation first came about after the first few football matches in South Africa, when fans and players alike complained about the off-putting buzz that the vuvuzela creates.

A professor of Music at Cambridge University, Robin Holloway, had said that the symphony does infact adhere to symphonic tradition. He added, "Respighi's Roman Festivals uses one- or two-note instruments to create the atmosphere of the Colosseum. It works brilliantly."

BIEBER PUTS A SPELL ON POTTER...

D

aniel Radcliffe was mistaken in thinking that Justin Bieber was a girl earlier last week.

The Harry Potter star explained that he'd never heard of the teenage cutie, and when he heard him sing on the radio, he mistook his voice for a female's. He also admitted to being out of touch with all things pop.

In order to rectify his mistake, the childhood actor added that he enjoys alternative rock punk music, and asked if Bieber was "someone already known in England?"

BEST FEST?

T

LAUREN GUTTERIDGE talks us through the top-rated alternative festivals...

ired of going to the same old festivals? Want something smaller with a bit less mud, a fewer tents and maybe a little less commercialism?

Have you found that tickets have sold out in record time? Maybe it’s time to experience something different. Here are some of Vision's top picks of the alternative festivals to enjoy this summer.

1) Now in its 8th year, the Green Man Festival is set in what The Times has called ‘the best event site in the country’.

Glanusk Park in Wales, situated in the Brecon Beacons, boasts breathtaking countryside and a truly wonderful environment to experience live music. Line-up highlights include Flaming Lips, Beirut, Doves, Wild Beasts, Fuck

Buttons, Metronomy and DJ Yoda. Extras include Einstein’s Garden where you can find art installations, stalls selling delicious global food and crafts, and a Science and Literature tent which encourages late night jamming from dusk till dawn. With a 12,000 capacity, this festival promises to be a much more intimate setting. -- Wales, Brecon Beacons, 20th-22nd August.

2) The Hop Farm Festival came about after festival goers underwent a survey, and the feeling amongst them was that they ended up feeling the lowest on the pecking order. Now in its third year the aim of Hop Farm is to go back to basics and let it be about the customer and the music. Vince Power, the festival organiser (who also runs Benicassim), has a policy of No Sponsorship/ No Branding and their rule on No VIPs ensures that everyone who buys a ticket has the same enjoyable time as everyone else. The

line up this year includes some of the finest legendary artists including Bob Dylan, former Kinks front man Ray Davies, Van Morrison, Blondie and Richard Thompson. Also set to play are Los Lobos and Mumford and Sons. Set in the idyllic countryside of Kent this festival takes music back to its grass roots and is unlikely to disappoint. -- Kent, 2nd-3rd July.

3) Held in Belgium, Pukklepop boasts one of the most impressive line-ups around, including legendary artists such as The Flaming Lips, Eels and Bad Religion, old favourites Band of Horses, Biffy Clyro, The National, Digitalism and Foals and let’s not forget the head-liners which include Placebo, Iron Maiden, Queens of the Stone Age and Snow Patrol. American hardcore legend Henry Rollins, from Black Flag, is also performing his spoken word show. This festival satisfies an eclectic taste in music and has many other wide-ranging bands to offer. Pukkelpop encourages open-mindedness amongst its festival goers, prides itself on being an international festival, and brings music and fans from around the world together for three musically rich days. -- Belgium, near Hasselt, 19th-21st August.

4) If travelling to Belgium isn’t your thing but you want a more 'European' experience then Latitude, based in Suffolk, is said to be more similar to continental European Festivals. As well as a comprehensive bill of musicians, bands and artists, the festival comprises elements of theatre, opera, film, cabaret, comedy and literature. Run by the same guys who organise Reading and Leeds, it offers an impressive line-up, great activities and has a smaller capacity of 30,000. Highlights include Grizzly Bear, The National, Florence + The Machine, Belle and Sebastian, Vampire

Weekend and The xx. Extras include The Royal Shakespeare Company, Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake performed on the Water Front Stage, Film-Documentary ‘The Rime of the Modern Mariner’ with a live score from Anthony Rossomando (Dirty Pretty Things/ Klaxons) and exciting literary luminaries including the fore father of punk poetry John Cooper Clarke, American legend Bret Easton Ellis and national treasure Sebastian Faulks.

-- Suffolk, 16th-18th July.

MUSIC

SPOTLIGHT

FILM

TV

GAMES

BOOKS

Bombay Bicycle Club

CULTURE

LISTINGS

JIM NORTION reviews this week's...

SINGLES Dizzie rascal ft james corden shout for england

I

'm a fat, irritating, and smug celebrity and, a few weeks ago, I asked my mate Dizzee to sell out even more by recording a cringeworthy rap over a gash awful song where I shout a chorus that is neither inspirational nor enjoyable. It is the musical equivalent of Nuts magazine and will be number one until England's inevitable quarter final exit. EngLAD.

Yolanda be be cool we speak no americano

T

he dingy backstage area at Fibbers is so packed with chatting students that it takes a minute to identify my interviewees, Bombay Bicycle Club. Preparing to play a DJ set, the band merge with the unassuming, vaguely indie privately educated Londoners that surround them.

In many ways this is unsurprising, the members being barely out of their teens themselves. What is surprising, however, is that the band (who formed whilst still at school and only finished their A levels in 2008) have emerged in less than two years as a distinctive and promising musical voice, with countless festival appearances and an NME award already to their name.

Sat on a shabby leather sofa armed with a borrowed iPhone and a crumpled list of questions, I try to establish how these inconspicuous young men have turned their secondary school hobby into a career. Considering the speed of Bombay's ascent, I expect a glint of careerism and some undisguised ambition, but instead I get amiable, slightly awkward guys who laugh off my suggestion that they must have been serious about music from the start. "We're not even serious now!" says singer Jack Steadman, resplendent in hornrimmed spectacles and a tweed jacket.

Nonetheless guitarist Jamie MacColl concedes that the roots of their current sound were present even at the age of 15: "we were basically playing a diluted version of what we do now."

Nonetheless, the band, whose first song was a cover of a funk number by The Metres, are quick to assert that their sound is still maturing. Debut album, I Had the Blues but Shook Them Loose, was widely well received, withreviewers and fans alike embracing the quivering vocals, soaring synths and explosive guitars. Despite this success, the band have forsaken the heaviness of this first record to create an acoustic follow up, Flaws, set to be released on July 12. Jamie is laissez-faire about this

change of direction, saying: "we didn't choose to record an acoustic album, it just happened. The label didn't want us to release it. It was our idea."

I wonder if they felt they had to fight against the label to get the record out, but Jamie is quick to dismiss the suggestion that major labels can be suffocating for independent acts. "It's actually a lot easier. Anyone who says it's hard on a major label is lying; they're just bad at it." Despite this ringing endorsement for label backing, neither Jack nor Jamie think you need a label to succeed in today's internet saturated marketplace. The band has used the Internet extensively to promote themselves and some of the fan feedback received has influenced their decisions.

(They even admit that they've probably "overdone the Internet thing"). Flaws includes a new version of 'Dust on the Ground' which was inspired by a wellreceived YouTube video, in which the band stripped the song down to its basics. Both Jamie and Jack now say they prefer this revisited version.

The band seem a little uncomfortable discussing the music they create, perhaps in an effort to avoid sounding pretentious. They play several covers on Flaws, including Joanna Newsom's 'Swansea' and John Martyn's 'Fairytale Lullaby'. I wonder if they approach covers in a different way to their own material but they give the impression that these decisions are not calculated, more instinctive and spontaneous, as Jack shyly shrugs off Jamie's assertion that he performs 'Motel Blues' better than Loudon Wainwright. Jack is equally cautious discussing his own song writing, explaining that for him the music always comes first and he is not concerned with finding meaning in his lyrics: "they probably mean something different to everyone else... everyone will interpret them as they want."

The band become much more relaxed when I quiz them about their extensive festival experiences. Bombay's big

break came when they opened the 2006 V festival and they describe Reading and Leeds as a favourite, even though their drummer was thrown out one year for vomiting on a steward.

The impression I get is of a group of typical lads slightly bewildered to be working. When I congratulate them on their NME breakthrough award earlier this year, in which they beat the likes of The XX and Mumford and Sons, Jack describes their amazement: "We were really drunk so I don't really remember much. We didn't think we were going to win anything so we just thought why not... it was a big surprise." I wonder if there is a secret to their success, but Jamie concedes that they have just been very lucky, "there's so much luck involved. It's sad because people can be quite amazing and never make it." Jack agrees. "You have to be in the right place at the right time," he admits, "but the people that deserve it are the people who do it for the right reasons. They don't try too hard to do it. Do it for the love of what you're doing. Do it because you want to express yourself."

The idea of music as self expression is well worn, but talking to the band you get a strong impression that they really mean it, that they work so well together precisely because they are still expressing themselves.

When I ask them what their ambition is, between the jokes about appearing on the front cover of 'Men's Health', there is a glimpse of the steely ambition I expected. "Three albums, in three years" they both claim, and it's clear that they mean it. Underneath the shyness and jokes about whether The Vengaboys is a decent floor-filler, Bombay Bicycle Club are serious about sticking around, and, judging on their latest releases, I reckon they might just have the potential to become a fixture.

RACHEL PRONGER

E

very summer holiday is usually defined by a daft cheesy house tune played over and over again in clubs across Europe. And it seems this summer will be no different as Australian band Yolanda Be Cool and producer DCUP create an instant club classic that bounces along with a hook so catchy it will be ingrained in the head for days.

It's nonsensical and tacky, but all the better for it.

swedish house mafia ft. pharrelle williams one (Your name)

'O

ne' is another house tune likely to become synonymous with Summer 2010, albeit one with a little more credibility - the brains behind SWH are all high profile DJs in their own right. Yet, apparently the public are perceived as too fickle to listen to a song without it having a 'feat.<Insert American star here>'. In this instance, Pharrell adds a weak vocal that totally dilutes the explosive euphoria of the original mix. If only the cynical marketing execs could have left the original masterpiece alone without feeling obliged to cater for the daytime Radio One audience.

30h!3 ft. keSha my first kiss

B

leurgh! What is this absolute bilge?!

How has this got past record companies' taste sensors and why oh why are these people allowed anywhere near microphones? Whilst the Americans complain about BP ruining their shore lines, we have as much right to complain that these American exports are devastating British ears. Two overgrown jocks and a slurred wannabe bad girl shouting schoolyard chants over some clapping followed by a chorus that makes you yearn for perforated ear drums.

Depressing.

MUSIC

SPOTLIGHT

FILM

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GAMES

Albums...

Out Now

K

Cant Be Tamed

M

CULTURE

LISTINGS

Kele

Miley Cyrus Out Now

iley Cyrus says that Can't Be Tamed is her first album to represent the real Miley. If this is the case, then she is a generic robo-clone.

Even on the fourth listen, Can't Be Tamed still sounds commercially driven, emotionless and synthetic. There is not a scrap of originality. Instead, the album is packed with a predictable mix of uninspiring uptempo numbers such as 'Robot' and 'Can't Be Tamed', and melodramatic, lyrically emaciated ballads such as 'Every Rose has Its Thorn' ("I tried not to hurt you, but I guess that's why they say every rose has its thorn").

The one and, perhaps, only reason you should buy this album is to sample the faintly hilarious spectacle of Miley rapping. Yes, that's right: Miley Cyrus raps.

Unsurprisingly, she's no Eminem, with such lyrical gems as "here's to all the boys trying to hold you back, trying to make you feel like less than that" in 'Liberty Walk'.

On the plus side, her rapping is limited to only a few songs, and the second song, 'Who Owns my Heart', is almost promising starting with a dance friendly beat. Unfortunately, this beat is not loud enough to drone out awful lyrics like "you know I wanna believe that we're a masterpiece, but sometimes it's hard to tell in the dark".

BOOKS

All in all, Can't Be Tamed is a predictably derivative effort: 'Permanent December''s electro-pop beats and half spoken, half sung lyrics sound like second rate Ke$ha, and 'My Heart Beats for Love' would be most at home in the credits of a Jennifer Aniston lead rom-com. That said, Miley has an undeniably strong voice that can be well nuanced (when it is not synthesized) such as on 'Stay', one of the highlights of the album. Perhaps in a few years she will produce something actually worth listening to. In the meantime, this album would be more at home in a bin bag than your record collection.

CAROLYN TRINE

The boxer

ele is ripped. Now, if you didn't know this, the album art for the (ex?) Bloc Party frontman's debut solo record The Boxer is more than happy to educate you. Phwoar. He is also ANGRY and VENGEFUL, as we can see from his menacingly bowed head, and he's taking it out on Bloc Party's indie tradition. Kele is all about the electro now.

And on tracks like 'Tenderoni' this change of tack really works.

Its cut-and-paste 'Wearing My Rolex' mechanics are desperately unoriginal but the barnstorming chorus is, in a contrived way, compulsive and fun. Similarly, 'Rise', after three and a half minutes of self-consciously OLD SKOOL analog drums and gurny attempts at emooooootion, suddenly finds it mojo with a distorted bassline that's the beautiful definition of scuzz.

But oh god the rest of the album. 'Walk Tall's intrusive synth roar and hideous Rihanna-style drill instructor chanting are as boring as a dentist's drill, and the pre-pubescent Panic!ish lyrics of 'All the Things I Could Never Say' are only slightly redeemed by its sorta-kinda-halfsugar-interesting production. 'Unholy Thoughts' threatens to turn into 'Hunting For Witches' at any moment, but

despite being the most Bloc Partylike song on the album it's not half as interesting as anything on, say, Silent Alarm. It's all utterly uninspiring stuff.

The real catastrophe behind The Boxer is that Kele's musical identity has seemingly gone MIA. Guitar makes a guest appearance on 'The Other Side', but it's phoned in and feels like a late apology to fans who bought the album expecting Kele to sound, yknow, musically distinctive. The man is ruled by his production team, as testified by the dull 'On the Lam' - the tracks on The Boxer aren't recognisably songs so much as files on a computer. Exceptions to this, such as album closer 'Meet Me in the Middle', are all the more frustrating for their tantalising hint of potential.

That said, 'Tenderoni' will tear Gallery up, and I can't bloody wait.

DAVID ELLIOTT

OZZY OSBOURNE Lissie

catching a tiger

T

his is the debut release from the 27 year old California native Lissie Maurus, whose covers have previously attracted the attention of the press. Listening to her version of Lady GaGa’s ‘Bad Romance’ and Metallica’s ‘Nothing Else Matters’, it’s easy to see why.

With a big, gutsy voice which is at an odd contrast with her blonde hair, blue eyes image, Lissie is a country-rock singer who has the potential to impress.

Yet whether she has managed to impress with this album is another matter entirely. Lissie’s talent is evident in the first song on the album, ‘Record Collector’, which opens with endearing kitchen-cupboard percus-

Scream Out Now

sion and the words “I’m tired of saying that I won’t ever get lost ever again...Who knows, maybe I will.” These words are half-spoken, half- sung in her beautifully husky voice which reels you in from the start.

Her words sound unforced and honest, and somehow manage to strike a chord in everyone.

Another highlight is the cheerful track ‘Little Lovin’, which takes you to the sunshine and the cornfields of America. The final piece, ‘Oh Mississippi’, is southern-style gospel hymn which showcases her talent as a vocalist.

Sadly, Catching a Tiger does feature several unremarkable fillers. ‘Bully’ and ‘Look Away’ are standard, bland drive time tracks. These unfortunately mean that Lissie doesn’t manage to live up to expectations. The potential is there, but she has yet to reach it. However, her talent is enough that her future releases will be ones to look out for.

LYDIA WINTER

Out Now

T

he Prince of Darkness is a musical wonder. First of all there is the mere fact that he is still alive (a modern medical miracle in itself), then there is the survival of his musical career that has been constantly blighted by joke levels of misfortune.

The 'Godfather of Heavy Metal' was obviously the least talented member of the legendary Black Sabbath and many thought he would vanish into drug addled oblivion.

Nevertheless, he now stands triumphant, with another solo album, a family name that has become a brand and the ultimate kick ass wife Sharon keeping him (mostly) upright. Osbourne is like some kind of musical soldier, with vocals sounding as battered as you would expect even when cushioned by thick layers of techno wizardry.

Scream seems to reflect Ozzy's personal development and as you listen to it

you sense that the album is proving that he no longer needs the manic, drug filled days of the past. Lyrics like "I'd rather live on my feet than crawl on my knees" in 'Fearless' is testament to this statement. While the lead track, 'Let Me Hear You Scream' does not inspire the dark metal beast within, there are other tracks that do get it stirring. The opening guitar riff to 'I Want It More' is exactly the kind of primal, guttural sound that you want from Ozzy, heavy, chunky and slow.

Then there are there are the acoustic melodies in 'Life Won't Wait', which add some variety to an album that could otherwise collapse under the sheer weight of pomp.

Unfortunately Ozzy, who no one expects to spout profound poetry, lets himself down with vacuous, quasi

provocative lyrics like "How will I know you Mr .Jesus Christ? Haven't you been here once or twice?"

To add to this disappointment, songs such as 'Time' and 'Crucify' are instantly forgettable, although for others, such as the appalling 'Latimer's Mercy', this would be a blessing.

Overall, Ozzy has put together a satisfying album which could, at times, even appeal to those of us who wouldn't count ourselves among the Osbourne zealots.

CHRIS CRADDOCK

MUSIC

SPOTLIGHT

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BOOKS

The Miserable Rich

RACHEL PRONGER talks to up and coming Brighton collective The Miserable Rich

Y

ou may not have heard of The Miserable Rich. String led chamber pop groups combining backgrounds in rock, jazz and folk don't tend to hit the cover of NME. However, this is a mighty shame because The Miserable Rich, formed in 2007, are fast proving themselves to be the unsung heroes of Brighton's thriving music scene.

There must be something in that sea air because over the past few years Brighton has been a breeding ground for exciting alternative acts. The likes of Bat for Lashes, The Maccabees, The Go! Team, and many more have all clambered over the shingle and broken through into the mainstream.

If there's any justice in the world, The Miserable Rich, who released their second album Of Flight and Fury earlier this year, will be the next Brighton-based act to succeed.

The band are the first to admit that they are still in the crucial make or break period of their career. James de Malplaquet, lead vocalist and songwriter describes their recent European tour as "a rollercoaster". "We're at a point in our career where the highs and lows are getting bigger," he explains.

"We still play places where nobody knows us - but we also have magical nights with sold-out shows and crowds who know all the songs." I wonder if these dramatic highs and lows are the reason why the band come across as refreshingly without ego, with none of the posturing that often defines emerging bands.

Malplaquet agrees. "On the last European tour, we played to a crowd in Steyr, Austria who knew our new album featured their river on the cover and treated us like gods, and then at the end of the tour we still didn't know if we had anywhere to stay at half three in the morning in Paris. On consecutive nights, we played to 25 people in Stuttgart and 350 in Frankfurt. Let's just say there's never too much time to develop an ego right now. They're keeping us pretty honest."

Another reason for this modesty may be that its members had all been fixtures on the local music scene before the band was formed. The result is not only a particularly grounded group, aware of the pitfalls of a fickle business, but also a sound that encapsulates a melee of influences. Double bassist Rhys Lovell has a jazz background and guitarist Jim Briffett a grounding in classic rock, whilst the other members, Will Calderbank on cello and Mike Siddell on violin, cite indie and classical influences. The result of this eclecticism, when combined with Malplaquet's quavering, Devendra Bahnhart like vocals, is immersive, rich pop that is hard to define. When I ask the band how they would describe this distinctive sound they jokingly describe themselves as the "Johann Sebastian Bach of indie rock" but most reviewers have plumped for terms such as chamber pop and baroque indie.

Although it is a focus on strings that is most refreshing about the band, Malplaquet explains that this was an accidental development. "To be honest, it's a lot of luck. When I first invited Mike and Will around to work on the first album, I

played them 'Say You Don't Mind' by Colin Blunstone. It's a beautiful song in which the hooks are played by string instruments instead of the typical guitar. Since then, I guess we've just carried on working together and seen what comes out."

The band are keenly aware that they have been lucky to find each other in the first place. Malplaquet met Calderdale at a party and they stumbled upon Siddell when he was playing in another band. They found Lovell simply by typing 'Brighton based double bassist' into Google.

The band also admit that any success they have enjoyed so far has been serendipitous. They were lucky enough to have their 2007 debut, Twelve Ways To Count, picked up by the influential Marc Riley on BBC 6. As Riley's plug generated significant interest in the album I wonder how the band feel about the suggested closure of the station. Malplaquet describes his attitude as mixed. "I'm pretty sure that tons of people in the UK love the Pixies - and we only have one station that plays them, even after all these years. That said, everyone knows we are all broke at the moment, and inevitably you can't have everything. I hope it stays - but at least if it goes, Auntie Beeb might have to have a more sensible musical policy on Radio 1 and 2 thanks to 6Music's undeniable success." The band also point out that radio airplay is proving less important than it used to be, citing Ed Harcourt as an example of an artist who has managed to break through due to the internet rather than airtime. However, they acknowledge that in this tricky business, especially today when pleasant indie collectives are ten a penny, any help is welcome.

Ultimately of course, a band is only as good as the music and The Miserable Rich have proved themselves with their gorgeous compositions that juxtapose lush counterpoint with darkly humorous lyrics that tell tales of nights spent drinking heavily ('Hungover') and drug use (the cocaine references on 'Chestnut Sunday'). "The songs are often, but not always, songs I've written honestly about things in my life," says Malplaquet. "As a band, we try to make sense of them in arrangements. I don't know if we're really planning too much to make such a juxtaposition - although some have noted it... life is sometimes tough, and I want to be honest. As they say, if you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the joke of the century."

As much as the group enjoy writing, it is obvious that live performance is their love, describing the warm reception they've recieved touring as "humbling." They plan to spend the next few months on the road before heading off to a haunted house over the winter to write. The band claim, "you've got to keep moving-or else you die" and given the nature of the business I'm sure they are right. Nonetheless, I hope that their hard work pays off. It would be a tragedy for music with such scope and beauty to get buried when so much that is bland and derivative floods the airwaves.

CULTURE

LISTINGS

Musical Heroes SYD BARRETT Singer, songwriter, guitarist and founder of Pink Floyd

"I don't think I'm easy to talk about.

I've got a very irregular head.

And I'm not anything that you think I am anyway."

Syd Barrett

T

he Pink Floyd of 1967 was a quirky psychedelic outfit driven by an erratic maverick by the name of Syd Barrett. An LSD sodden dreamer, Barrett was the model of an English eccentric, creating lyrics soaked in English pastoral life. Nonetheless, this highly English sensibility was never allowed to slide into quaintness. The 1967 love song 'Bike' talks of a "clan of gingerbread men" yet Barrett shatters the innocence of this sentiment almost instantly with a cacophony of bells, cogs, horns and clocks. This mesh of sound offers hints of Barrett's growing psychological trauma.

In 1968 Barrett left the band and embarked on a lonely solo career in which he sporadically created songs juxtaposing innocent rhyme with painful loneliness. His 1970 album Barrett switches between the fantastical, when he sings about an "Effervescing Elephant", and the haunting, when he describes relationships that collapse like "Dominoes".

As Syd departed from public life and into madness, Pink Floyd mourned his loss by writing some of their most awesome and atmospheric music. 'Shine on You Crazy Diamond' (1975) is an epic of bitter sadness and futile pain. Whilst the band recorded this masterpiece a bloated, drained man, who at first they did not recognise, sat slumped in the corner of the room. It was Syd. When he left the studio that evening, the band never saw him again. Roger Keith Barrett lived the rest of his life as a recluse. He died on 6 July 2006.

The Piper at the Gates of Dawn, 1967

Barrett 1970

Wish You Were Here 1975

MUSIC

SPOTLIGHT

Lives...

JAMNESTY L

ast Monday saw Amnesty Soc hold their first music event, Jamnesty.

Described as a night of "music and comedy from York’s finest", the event was held in celebration of Amnesty and its fight for human rights, featuring several student bands.

All the music acts of the evening put on an impressive performance, with a wide display of talent. From the energy of the university Samba band, the folky style of The Imposter and the Shadow, indie pop from Rosie and Daisy, brilliant covers from Alcuin’s Got Talent winners The Poubelle Booms, and bluesy, catchy pop-rock from headliners Chuck Jager. The Samba band kicked off with an energetic act, featuring addictive beats and a fantastically fun approach to the evening. Up next was a folk offering from The Imposter and the Shadow who provided lively and humorous sets in a genre all of their own. Described as "just a lovely pair", Rosie and Daisy were a heartwarming due with a Kate Nash-esque style of pop.

The Poubelle Booms went down a storm, putting their own spin on several wellknown covers, the highlights including a beautiful rendition of John Mayer’s 'Free Falling' and a very fun version of Shaggy’s ‘Wasn’t Me’. Guitar player and singer Olly Corpe said of the evening: "Yeah it was a lot of fun, I had a great time and I think the audience loved it too!

FILM

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GAMES

Y

ork Minster was host to the termly University Choir concert last Wednesday, and this time they broke away from their usual Baroque repertoire and played Benjamin Britten's large scale and highly emotive 'War Requiem'. The work was commissioned for the reconstruction of Coventry Cathedral after it was destroyed in a bombing raid in 1940. Britten, a self-confessed pacifist, was inspired by the commission which

CULTURE

LISTINGS

Bombay Bicycle Club DJ Set 19/06/10

Fibbers, York City Screen, York 21/06/10

They got really into it and I especially enjoyed it when we played together with the samba band for 'Kids' by MGMT. It was a very well organised event with loads of great acts and for a good cause!"

And finally, Chuck Jager provided a brilliant end to the evening with a lively performance. Influenced by Bombay Bicycle Club, their style is an unusual mixture of folk, indie and pop rock. Their finishing number, ‘Purple Words’ was a catchy, toetapping song which the audience loved, with a several groups of people dancing and singing along. Lead singer Rory Jones was particularly energetic, giving the band an irresistibly enthusiastic vibe.

All in all, the evening was a brilliant success. Chair of Amnesty Soc, Suraj Rai was "honoured that the evening turned out so well."

H

aving not been to MELT at Fibbers before, I was unsure what to expect; from gauging just how indie to dress to what music would grace the building. When the DJs were two members of one of my favourite up-and-coming bands, Bombay Bicycle Club, I imagined a night of music by the band's influences, mostly indie and rock, and when the set kicked off with Johnny Cash's 'Ring of Fire' I thought it was going to be even more classic than anticipated.

However, it quickly changed into a much heavier and fastpaced electro and dance set.

There were both dance tunes with a heavy beat which sent the somewhat small but intimate crowd wild, boasting cheeky

remixes of pop songs such as Kelis' 'Milkshake' and Junior Senior's 'Move Your Feet'. Bombay Bicycle Club displayed a range of musical interest far beyond that of their own sound, a sense of fun, and the ability to seamlessly mix tracks.

If you haven't checked out their album, I Had The Blues But I Shook Them Loose, where have you been? You should definitely make an effort to catch them live - they're playing Glastonbury and Lovebox this year, as well as DJ sets around the country, which make for an incredibly fun night out.

Jessica Sweeney

LYDIA WINTER

University Choir and Orchestra concert: Britten's War Requiem York Minster

BOOKS

Joy Orbison Fibbers, York

10/06/10 allowed him complete freedom of material to compose with.

The result was a traditional Latin Mass interspersed with war poems by English poet Wilfred Owen. The contrast between these two texts highlighted both the sadness of death and the futility of war and created a highly emotional and haunting atmosphere in the Minster. The music is scored for Solo Soprano, Baritone, Tenor and full chorus (including boys' choir), organ and two orchestras (both symphony and chamber orchestra).

With such a large ensemble in such a large venue, you would expect problems with balance and control. The latter was overcome by both the conductor Peter Seymour who held the chorus and orchestras together admirably, and of course the singers and instrumentalists themselves who had obviously put in a great deal of time and effort to create such an excellent performance. However the massive acoustic of the Minster had a tendency to drown out some of the solo singers, which was a great shame but did not take too much away from the overall performance. The atmosphere in the Minster at the end of the piece was so powerful and incredibly moving that I left with a lump in my throat.

DEREK WILLIAMS

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dioteque once again outdid themselves on their latest night at Fibbers, following on from sets from Ikonika and L-Vis 1990 last term by booking arguably the most recognisable name in the 'dubstep' scene at the moment, Peter O'Grady aka Joy Orbison. Something both the Idioteque crew and Joy Orbison have in common may well be that their success in a place so utterly out of the loop as York stems simply from hype.

Nine months after its release, O'Grady's calling card 'HYPH MNGO' has blown up in the mainstream, and this clever booking ensured Idioteque a sell-out night, with the opportunity to fill the rest of the night with some stellar sets from friends of the collective. Sacaddes' wonky brand of instrumental hip-hop kicked off the night nicely, and both Pondermonkey and Cntrst worked up the crowd before Joy Orbison stepped up at 1am.

05/06/10 O'Grady's sets of late have been the sum of a number of parts, with UK Funky vibes feeding into more traditional 130bpm sounds.

A significant element of the set is a selection of Juke, the sound currently taking over the UK, be it in sets from O'Grady, or from Hyperdub head-honcho Kode9, or even on-air sets from Addison Groove on Radio 1 for Mary Ann Hobbs. In between O'Grady inevitably drops 'HYPH MNGO', along with former releases 'BRKLN CLLN' and 'So Derobe'. Despite Fibbers being quite possibly the hottest, sweatiest place in the country that night, the crowd stayed firmly put right until the end, when Rylski dropped a classic set of everyone from James Blake to Destiny's Child, by way of his own dubs. A fine way to see out another successful year for Idioteque, and may there be more to come.

GUY RIMAY-MURANYI

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grills WE ARE SCIENTISTS about life without a label, the future of music and the band's catchy World Cup song...

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t’s a stereotype that's used all too frequently, but Americans know absolutely nothing about football.

New-York based group We Are Scientists are definitely no different, despite the fact that they’ve just recorded a song to celebrate this year’s World Cup. “We didn’t know about soccer before we came over here! Now we support Tottenham Hotspur. A lot of Londoners do, so maybe that’s why. It’s definitely a culture thing over here and a lot more mainstream than in the US.” Chris Cain, bassist and backing vocalist for the group, openly admitted that they don’t take football, or soccer, remotely seriously; or much else for that matter.

We Are Scientists’ biography states that Chris and Keith (lead vocalist and guitarist) “majored in Babes” during their university education in Southern California; their website is a complementary amalgamation of sarcastic wit, and tongue in cheek tweets. The pair have also produced a comedy television series, ‘Steve Wants His Money’, which was shown on MTV. Chris, however, assures that the band are serious about their live act.

“I was a big fan of Stone Temple Pilots in the 90s.

They have two incredible albums and when I saw them, they played very well but their attitude on stage was just stupid. When he talked between songs he was just a dick, and almost making fun of the fact that people would actually like Stone Temple Pilots. It’s very upsetting to meet a musician with this incredible catalogue, watch them play it really well and then make fun of it between songs. It’s really disheartening.”

Often we presume that bands spring out of nowhere, somehow getting their lucky break because their singer’s-sister’s-boyfriend’s-half cousin’s-landlord’s-nephew happened to know a DJ who got them on a bill an at exclusive London club, and as they say, the rest is history.

But We Are Scientists are different; they gigged for years to crowds of ten, thirty-five, and eventually several hundred, before they made a record that caused people to pay attention.

“We played little shows we could book ourselves for five years before we really got in front of anybody. We played at the level we should have been playing. A lot

of bands are suddenly at a level of popularity that their abilities don’t really stand up to and it seems very difficult to get past that point because you immediately acquire a reputation as kinda, sucking. It’s, comparatively, easy to record a couple of songs... but if you can’t play, people are gonna hate what they see.”

When asked about how he thinks bands can succeed nowadays, Chris admitted: “I don’t know if there’s any tricks or anything, but you’ve gotta get your live act honed and polished.”

Last year, the band broke ties with their record label, Virgin, and created their own label, Master Swan Records, to release their third album, Barbara.

“A label is a steamlined way of developing a fan base, and being able to tour, which can initially be expensive to the band. Now, we’re just paying individual vendors to do all the things that a label does., we hire people to do press, people to help us with marketing, and people to do sales. It’s just that, with a label, each of those people would be on the same floor of a building.”

I asked the bassist if it was possible for a band to breakthrough into the music industry today without label support.

“I wouldn’t want to try! For a band just starting out, to afford those services without any real guarantee that it was going to go anywhere, it would just be very difficult. You’d have to be a real dice roller..”

Now that the band retain more control over their musical output, it has become increasingly important for them to consider how their services are distributed.

“It was our label’s decision to put our record on Spotify. Spotify is a good thing. I think that’s the direction music is moving towards – a subscription model. I don’t think it’ll be long until Spotify can pay the rights holders for playing the songs. They already have the model in place; they just haven’t yet begun to make any money.

Actually, I think Spotify is starting to pay us nominal amounts for each play.”

When asked if he’d rather than fans purchased We Are Scientists’ music, Chris admitted: “I guess it’s nice for people to buy the record if that’s how they like to consume music. I think ultimately Spotify will become the

equivalent [of buying music]. The commercial radio station model is exactly like the free service on Spotify - they acquire ads and that’s how they pay their PRS [artist royalties]. Some people will never come to a show who buy music, but the people who listen to Spotify might go to a show and buy a t-shirt or something. There are a lot of ways to support a band, and ultimately if you’re really into a band, then, probably, something you’re doing is going to make them money, whether it’s listening to radio stations who play that kinda music and therefore making that station more popular, or going to live shows.

We live in a consumer economy and all of these activities have values attached to them.. people are making money off them one way of another. Lots of ways are compensated.”

But there isn’t necessarily enough compensation to keep the entire music industry, as it is today, afloat.

After reported cuts and a lack of funding for artist development, the future of music is looking increasingly uncertain.

“I think we’re going through a technological revolution and we don’t know where it’s going to go, or even what the possibilities are yet. People are having a hard time catching up to it, with their revenue plans.”

Chris is disappointed at how listeners are made to feel like they’ve caused the problems, as without their support, the industry simply wouldn’t exist.

“The real crime would be if in five years from now, music in general is just a less popular art form because it’s been so flooded with bad feelings. The thing that worries me most about the current situation is that we are criminalising, or vilifying listeners and fans. It’s a terrible precedent and it’s a terrible way to move music as an art form. I don’t think music should be realm where people have to feel guilty.”

We Are Scientists will be touring America later this year, with support from up and coming band, Rewards.

“They’re a band you definitely won’t have heard of yet. The frontman is really incredible and has put together a really good group of dudes to play! By this time next year, the Rewards’ record will be on your radar. They’re more indie than us, definitely darker and moodier.”

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ROCKY 15 With box office ratings having plummeted for instalments 13 and 14, Sylvester Stallone returned here for one final affirmation of glory. However, confined to a wheelchair, Balboa is forced to pursue a career in wheelchair boxing. The studios eventually pulled the plug when it became clear that the scripted beating inflicted upon a multiple sclerosis sufferer was wildly offensive.

TWO PINTS OF LAGER AND A PACKET OF CRISPS: THE MOVIE Commissioned by the Home Counties tourist board to dissuade anybody travelling to the North of England, the film seized on the case of a family of Londoners declared medically intolerant of northern people having watched the original TV show. The plug was however pulled after the UN legislated on torture via the medium of film.

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Films that are kicking off the summer

top 5...

Mike Regan has a look at the potential celulloid gold that may have fallen through the postproduction cracks..

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Tom Martin divulges his top tips for the summer releases

t’s the summer. It’s the World Cup. Did you know that? World Cup. World Cup. World Cup. Once more, for luck: World Cup. And now for something completely different… the World Cup. Hang on a minute.

OK, maybe it’s inescapable, and who knows? It might be fun to link teams with the upcoming hits (and disasters) of the summer.

Maybe this traitor will melt into the floor in a state of tiredness, heat stroke and general detestation for this his nation’s overwhelming desire to watch others kick a ball. But if you’re reading this, then he probably didn’t.

Let’s give football a chance.

England – So far, three matches, two draws and a winner (discounting last Sunday's disastrous result...) Will this be the pattern for fellow Brit Robert Pattinson’s Twilight Saga?

Oh, probably not. The third instalment will not be the last, unless we all go to watch the football instead (and drag the Robsessed along with us, kicking and screaming). Why they don’t just focus on the calendar shoots is beyond me. What does everyone, even the fans, hate about Twilight? That’s right: Kristen Fing Stewart. So forgive my scepticism when I iterate that this next instalment revolves around her having to CHOOSE between Edward and Jacob’s respective abs, and in doing so cause a war between the werewolves

and vampires that Buffy didn’t have time to kill. It’s like Sophie’s choice, only Sophie’s making vampires and werewolves look far more desirable as members of society than Kristen… F-ing… Stewart... UK Release Date: 9 July ALSO check out: Inception, AKA Christopher Nolan’s new film-baby. Looks a little too much like Eternal Sunshine to go down in history, but nonetheless holds a far greater chance of sending England to victory than Twilight or Emile Heskey. UK Release Date: 16 July America – Despite a lacklustre performance, the Yanks are showing us Brits up this summer, and that goes for cinema as it does for the footy. Look out for Toy Story 3 at the head of an exciting line-up. With all of the wit, charm and original cast (the deceased aptly and respectfully replaced) of its predecessors, Toy Story 3 has already received rave reviews in the states, getting 98% positive reviews from Rotten Tomatoes, 91/100 on Metacritic and a rank of #11 on IMDB. Despite getting the typical Pixar treatment – at least a month’s difference between the US and UK release dates, that is – this is one film worth waiting for. UK Release Date: 23 July Serbia – Yeah, yeah, I know. Why Serbia? Because, out of nowhere, they whooped Germany 1-0. A surprise hit. And that’s exactly what The A-Team is, in spite of – or is

it because of ? – its overwhelming status as ‘overblown, super-exaggerated trash’. Mixed reviews – not including that of Mr. T, who apparently condemned the feature as ‘unfaithful to the original series’, despite not having quite yet seen it – have suggested the film might not be a complete flop/cash cow, and that in itself is almost enough to earn my money come late July. Almost. UK Release Date: 30 July Japan – Similar to Japan's spectacular free kicks against Denmark The Last Airbender has had a lot of people talking. It's the second Avatar in less than a year, an actionfantasy of typically Shyamalanian style and grandeur. That it’s his first film since The Happening, which just so happened to be boring, means the pressure is on to deliver the goods, and whilst a partnership with Nickelodeon Movies doesn’t exactly spell ‘road-togreatness’, this film has a lot of people talking. Unlike, unfortunately, Japan’s chances for winning the Cup. UK Release Date: 13 August My two cents is that these films are, generally speaking, worth your time in one manner or another. At the end of the day, my two cents is also that vuvuzelas aren’t allowed inside cinemas. That’s a deal-sealer to me. Enjoy your summer!

TIGER WOODS: THE FAMILY TAPES Pencilled for release early this year, the project was shelved following the golf star’s car crash.

The incident persuaded classification boards to look more closely into the content of the home video tapes. The only explanation offered was that the tapes “reveal just why Tiger spends so much time on the golf course."

WII STORY This experimental take on the viewing experience never really got off the ground. It was felt that asking viewers to fight fantasy enemies using giant Wii remotes held potential for absolute disaster in most British cinemas.

THE MUHAMMED ALI STORY Billed as the ultimate autobiographical account of the sporting great, told in his own words and containing exclusive clips filmed by the man himself. With Ali refusing to cease full creative control of the project the final cut was an absolute mess.

Have you seen...?

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dir. Peter Greenaway

The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover

reenaway’s work is often seen as pretentious and visually claustrophobic, making it increasingly hard work to watch. The Cook however is a masterpiece that is suitable for some of his less avid fans.

Coined as one of his ‘dramatic’ works, this film wonderfully draws on the theatre, with red curtains opening and closing at the beginning and end, the menus that break up each day like acts and the fourth wall that we are often kept behind. Not only do the characters give powerful theatrical performances, Helen Mirren as the abused wife and Michael Gambon as the disgustingly stupid thief, but the lavish setting of the voluminous kitchen and garish restaurant adds to this dramatic urge to illuminate cinema’s artifices. Even

the costumes of the characters change colour depending on whether the room is the cool green of the lover’s safe haven in the kitchen, or the carnivorous hell of the thief ’s highly controlled restaurant.

The story is pretty simple the wholly disgusting villain Spica holds Boarst’s restaurant Le Hollandais under tight control. With his group of thugs behind him Spica violently abuses anyone in his way from restaurant owners to young kitchen boys. His wife, Georgina, tired of his endlessly foul nature finds comfort in one of the restaurants regular customers and begins a torrid affair that takes place in Spica’s very own restaurant. Naturally the film escalates to epic proportions as Greenaway’s gruesome fascination with bod-

ily functions all become strangely and forcefully connected in this film.

From the moment The Cook begins there is something completely different from your average Hollywood blockbuster. Sascha Vierny’s sweeping camera that wildly arches around the restaurant or glides through the kitchen instantly unnerves the viewer; it places us in a Greenaway world where nothing is predictable. The colours, setting, costumes and pulsating Michael Nyman score with the lingering haunting psalm music demonstrates a close attention to every detail, drawing us into a film that is truly a feast for the senses.

Jenny Mclarney

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othing you say makes any sense!” yells Aaron Green (Jonah Hill) at debauched cock rocker Aldous Snow (Russell Brand) 80 minutes into this latest launch from the Judd Apatow stable, and as far as movies in a nutshell go, Green’s got it pegged.

Get Him to the Greek is brash, surreal and crude, but is saved by virtue of its consistently funny script and a fantastic pair of leads.

Green is a hassled record company intern charged by label boss Sergio Roma (Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs) to travel to London to meet with Snow and taxi him back to Los Angeles inside 72 hours for the 10 year anniversary concert of his seminal performance at the Greek Theatre. Unfortunately, since the disastrous release of his album African Child, Snow has developed a serious and devastating case of the Lindsay Lohans, and Green, inevitably, has the reins wrenched out of his hands etc etc… you know where this is going.

The plot is little more than a clothes horse on which to hang various sketches and, if there’s one hole to pick in Get Him to the Greek it’s that its story just misses striking the emotional chord that other comedies from the Geek Clique have nailed. But that’s kinda superfluous. Get Him makes its generic bed in the first 10 seconds, and it’s quite clearly not shooting

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for Oscar gold. Instead, it’s a hedonistic superhappy F1 of a movie; it relents for barely a second during its tightly-edited 97 minutes. The thread tying it all together, writer/director Nicholas Stoller’s script, rarely fails to deliver - its sheer consistency makes it a monument of comedy. Some of it skirts self-conscious kerrrazyness, but Stoller's surprisingly delicate hand tends to err on the side of restraint.

Jonah Hill, most famous for his delirious performance in Superbad, has clearly taken possession of the comedy niche once dominated by Seth Rogen, and he is ably supported by Brand, even if you can’t quite shake the feeling that the latter is merely playing a watered down version of himself. Revelation Of The Movie goes to Sean Combs, who chows down on every scene he’s in and seems to be relishing the opportunity to take the piss out of his own brand.

So the awkward threesome scene may be more tug-on-your-collar funny than haha funny, and the bipolarity of Brand’s Snow begins to grate when it briefly pushes him onto the wrong side of likeability, but Get Him to the Greek is fundamentally an affable and fun ride in the vein of The Hangover – and trust me, you’ll want a furry wall by the time the gig’s over.

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Letters to juliet

dir. Gary Winick

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wall in Verona, Italy is adorned with letters written by the broken-hearted and the confused seeking guidance from the ‘Secretaries of Juliet’, and it is on this premise the film is based. The question is: can this film break the typical rom-com predictability?

Amanda Seyfried, of Mamma Mia! fame, plays lead female Sophie, who is on a pre-wedding holiday with her fiancé Victor (Gael Garcia Bernal). Victor is a self-obsessed chef and Sophie an aspiring writer— as odd a couple as Cher and Gene Simmons once were. Upon visiting the wall of letters, Sophie meets the ‘Secretaries of Juliet’, a team of four older ladies, and begins helping write replies to the letters.

Upon responding to one particular letter Sophie inspires pensioner Claire (Vanessa Redgrave) to find her long-lost love, alongside her grandson Charlie (Christopher Egan). Cue the inevitable exploits that come with any rom-com: the breaking and mending

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ere's a joke: What's 40 years old, sleeps on a couch, moves like a crab and bites like a dog? Oh wait, it's not a joke, it's Greenberg, another nervous jerk in the fictional family of writer and director Noah Baumbach.

Like The Squid and the Whale, this character study pushes the definition of comedy to the breaking point, and unlike the far less successful Margot at the Wedding, it leaves us faintly smiling after the workout.

Work isn't a priority for Roger Greenberg (Ben Stiller), a sometime carpenter who moves from New York to Los Angeles to house-sit for his wealthy younger brother (Chris Messina). While the brother is opening a beach hotel in Vietnam, Greenberg is supposed to care for the family's German shepherd — and recuperate from a suicide attempt.

But Greenberg spends his idle hours writing complaint letters to various corporations and irritating old friends, like

of hearts.

First and foremost, the scenery is beautiful, breathtaking in fact. The film is quite charming because of this and the Italian culture it portrays. However, the score is overwhelming in its ploy to induce emotion—it is too sugary sweet. The soundtrack is a little better, but no Mamma Mia! And the answer to the question of predictability is: no. This film is as predictable as rom-com films can come, but the acting is fairly decent, though Garcia Bernal is severely underused. The dialogue between Sophie and Charlie was better than expected, with some clever one-liners being rolled out. Despite this, there are far many too clichés used. Vanessa Redgrave definitely stands out and lights up the screen with her acting brilliance, but she doesn’t quite pass for being Claire’s age of sixty-five years old.

Overall, the last twenty-minutes of this film are enjoyable, but how this was dragged out for approaching two-hours is inexcusable. Despite its charm and surprisingly (just about) tolerable dialogue, this is no better than Winick’s previous offering of Bride Wars. I recommend watch-

dir. NOEL BAUMBACH motherly ex-girlfriend Beth (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and mellowing ex-bandmate Ivan (Rhys Ifans, a revelation).

The only acquaintance who is susceptible to Greenberg's quirks is his brother's assistant, Florence (Greta Gerwig). She's as mixed-up and rootless as Greenberg, but she's got an open heart, and their stop-and-go fling is driven by some of the same pity she shows to the family's ailing canine.

Gerwig, a stalwart of micro-budget indies like Hannah Takes the Stairs, seems to have imported some of the mumblecore aesthetic into this film, which relies on realistically neurotic dialogue and awkward pauses for most of the mumblecore aesthetic into this film, which relies on realistically neurotic dialogue and awkward pauses for most of its pseudo-humor. of its pseudohumor. There's also an element of frank sexuality that some viewers will find disturbing.

ing a re-run of Notting Hill or other rom-com classics instead, as this will be in the bargainbin soon enough!

SARAH GREEN

Most disturbing of all is Stiller, whose trademark aggression has never seemed so passive. It's a bravely self-effacing and even touching performance, comparable to Adam Sandler's in PunchDrunk Love. Greenberg may not win any popularity contests, but for fans of risk-taking cinema, it's most likely to succeed.

SAM MILLER

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TELEVISION 3RD ANNUAL TV AWARDS

NICOLA CHAPMAN's advert rant R Adverts. They really annoy me. I know it's a trivial thing, but I have to have an opinion on them. There have been a few recently that have really caught my attention, both in a good and bad way.

Take for instance the Vodafone advert. My housemate actually cried at it, full on tears.

How very, very clever advertisers. You know how to pull the old heartstring. I think we all think of our Daddies when the heartbroken girl's father, listening intently on the mobile (powered by Vodafone - who else?) after leaving mid speech to meet his daughter who has just been dumped. She questions him, "You weren't doing anything were you?" and he replies "No, just emptying the dishwasher."

Advertising genius. That wouldn't happen on any other network would it? Come on now.

Only Vodafone users have dishwashers.

Another personal favourite is the string of adverts beginning with the immortal line, "I was walking through reception when...". They have only a few paths to go down - they slip on a wet patch, fall over some misplaced plastic or get tripped by a Borrower. Life is tough for an office/construction worker. Lucky that 'The Accident Helpline' and the like are about to sort that out. "No win no fee" they say, so how could it all go wrong? You could end up with a fringe like the lady they used on the advert that's how.

And is it just me or are kitchen roll adverts just plain pointless? We know what it does, alright, we don't need a man in a sombrero telling us that it only takes "HWAN SHEEEET".

Least it's better than that old one with the men dressed as ladies. Pity Mr Brunette who always got his hand covered in bolognese.

Our light at the end of the bad-advertising tunnel, no not that one for Magnum where they are mid hiest and the girl gets distracted by her ice cream (?), but those lovely Andrex puppies. Animals and toilet rolls. A marketing breakthrough.

Would you trust this woman?

A TA TA TA TA TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....

Its the THIRD ANNUAL York Vision television awards. Celebrating the best, and absolutely holy-shit "MY GOD WHY WAS IT MADE ARGH ARGH I WANT TO GOUGE OUT MY EYES WITH A BLUNT INSTRUMENT" worst of the television and radio industry. Take your seats, fasten your tie and get ready to feel each other up.

"Why Are You On Radio?" Award: "I'm Fearne Cotton. Welcome to my radio show, and for its entirety I will be painting a plant for no fucking reason."

Most Annoying Radio Personality of the Year Award: "I'M ZANE LOWE. ARE YOU ON BOARD??? Shut up.

Programme That Has The Least Relation To The Topic That It Is Actually Advertising Award: "Hi, I'm Heston Blumental, and welcome to the programme where I cook for ten annoying or relatively unknown celebrities.

I love the 1970s. I really like this decade and I think it was a fantastic decade for food, not because the production team completely ran out of topics and told me to make three random related courses at

"Why Are You On Television?" Award: "YOYOYO hello it's James Corden. I'm fat and I'm funny." (insert sound of a hyena for 45 minutes) HA HA HA HA HA HA ha ha ha HA HA HA. Worst Television Channel: Still ITV1. I don't know why but whenever I watch it I always feel that I am unclean and I desperately need to wash. Plus the news is directed by opinionated three year olds...

Afghanistan IT'S ALL GOING WRONG, the economy IS STILL A BIT SHIT INNIT, look - David Cameron! CONSERVATIVES ARE FITTIES. Look at this dog IT IS A BIT MENTAL. And now the weather, set in the 1970s and presented by a woman who might stab you in your sleep.

Best Event: The Elections 2010. We found out that David Dimbelby is A MACHINE, that leaders debates made LITTLE DIFFERENCE, that Rupert Murdoch must have PISSED himself for approximately three days straight, that Adam Boulton is a SH*T, that Twitter is a BEAST and the country is probably fucked for the next three years.

Most Expensive Programme Of The Year: "Welcome to Wonders of the Solar System. I'm Brian Cox. Now, we start in the Catalona Desert to talk about sunshine. But why is the sun so hot?

To emphasise that you now join me in rural India. Here, I will use simple garden instruments to emphasise why the sun radiates heat. Look at that. But why does heat matter? Well you now join me in desolate Antarctica. Brrrrrr..... it's mighty cold here. I'm Brian Cox and this is why I love science."

bomb from a slutty strip club in Los Angeles, and then will Angie and Jill find a reasonable cottage in Stevenage? John Barrowman has some loft conversions that will surprise you."

The Pointless Festival Coverage Award: Glastonbury. No I know Glastonbury is some kind of middle class sexual reawakening, or like Woodstock but with 9 month ticketing arrangements, but why does it have to be televised? It's awful for what it does to us. Television dramas can be inspirational and help aspire us to a better non-existent life. Glastonbury is very much the same in what it shows, but instead of inspiring me to a better life, I'm watching people having outdoor sex listening to Stevie Wonder wearing Michael Jackson t-shirts, whilst I am stuck at home in my pants eating an Pot Noodle, occasionally bashing the walls to stop my neighbours in Hull Road having chavvy sex.

Best Advice of the Year Award: Lee Nelson's Well Good Show - No don't watch it. It's shit. Really really shit.

a drop of a hat. The pudding is chocolate.

I like chocolate. The Romans liked chocolate because of its sexual healing powers.

So to find out more I will now be going to a strip party where women rub cocoa powder into their bosoms and scream loudly at the site of a bar of chocolate shaped like a penis." No really, this really happened.

Most Misplaced Character: John Barrowman. He has moved on from being an omnisexual man with botox, sex problems and LOADS of daleks in Doctor Who and Torchwood, to a camper than camp cruise singer with various hits, to a mental serial killer without an accent in the one the only Desperate Housewives.

"Coming up next. John Barrowman is a CIA agent who must deactivate a nuclear

Biggest Build-Up to the Biggest AntiClimax Award: Heroes. Oh my goodness that was an amazing first series with great plot development, great acting and real twists. Save the Cheerleader? Save the world! Haha! Now lets get series 2 going *loads it into DVD player* *errr* Wtf ??? OH MY???? OH MY FUCKING GOD? WHAT IS HAPPPPEENNING...

WWTTFFFFFFFFFF YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUssssssssssssssS!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND.... Goodbye: After 3 years, 25 issues and quite a few hangovers I am leaving teleVISION for vague unemployment and country life.

Thanks to everyone who allowed me to write these words for so long, and most importantly to you, dear reader, for reading them. Follow my future rants at ohthattvblog.wordpress.com. For the time being, I wish you well and I leave you with the amazing last words of Conan O'Brien, during his last edition of the Tonight Show in February this year: "Please do not be cynical. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you, it's just true".

scott bryan

The Screen Grabs by Nicola chapman

Man with bread for hands starts UK tour.

James Corden stalked by metallic pervert.

Billy Ray Cyrus' career takes a suprising turn.

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The Big Three at E3

What's E3? The 'Electronic Entertainment Expo'; the gaming trade event of the year! Gaming companies all over the globe go allout to impress the journalist attendees with new games, consoles, and peripherals. NATHAN BLADES gives a rundown of the demonstrations and some of the releases from Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony.

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Microsoft

icrosoft's tune was similar to the one they played last year - making a big deal of the exclusives that they have on offer, and to stir up excitement over their new camera technology, Project Natal - now renamed the Xbox Kinect.

XBox Kinect

The XBox Kinect's technology is impressive - it scans you, maps how large you are, and then uses motion sensors, camera, and a microphone to track your movements. It's claimed to improve accessibility, but how effective is a controller with no feedback going to be?

The Big Three

Microsoft is still very much in love with their 'Big 3' Cash Cows - Halo, Gears of War, and Call of Duty who all have a new sequel in the pipeline, looking pretty much the same as before. Peter Molyneux got a brief appearance to talk about Fable 3 (which has now gone Steampunk, and is looking very nice), but was shunted out of the way for the Kinect games marathon.

Kinect Adventures is Takeshi's Castle-esque, and honestly looks like a fair bit of fun. Move around to collect coins and dodge stuff, with Kinect taking pictures of you at embarrassing moments.

Oh yeah, and you can now watch ESPN on your 360.

Like anyone cares, especially since it'll probably be US only. "Worldwide leader in sports meet 'worldwide leader in games'"? Oh dear. And they made a England vs. US World Cup joke. OH DEAR.

360 Slim

Microsoft's Big Surprise was the unveiling of the 360 Slim, competing with the PS3's slim model. They're releasing it for the exact same price as the regular model, and will actually be on retail (at least in America) by the time you read this.

A

Nintendo

s usual, Nintendo is looking calm and cool. They already know what audience they're going for, and what games to tantalisingly leak. But is this overconfidence in the market misplaced?

Nintendo 3DS

The official announcement of the Nintendo 3DS was a showstopper. The next handheld hardware for Nintendo, it boasts a few improvements over the DSi a wider top screen, an analogue stick, processing and graphical capabilities that exceed the PSP, and as the name of the gadget suggests, a 3D display; one that works without the silly-looking glasses.

Zelda on Wii

Off the bat they announce a new Zelda game for Wii; Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. The art style takes a mixture of cues from both Twilight Princess and Wind Waker, and is deliciously vibrant. In addition to the Zelda staples of bombs, bows and your trusty sword; a whip and a remote-control beetle were also shown. The Wii Motion Plus lets you swing your sword about in 1:1 motion (hopefully).

For the old-school fans, there are two doses of extremely good news. The N64 FPS classic Goldeneye is being remade for the Wii, promising all the multiplayer perfection of the original. This one's being produced by Activision instead of the original producers, Rare. But with Rare's recent history, I doubt anybody minds.

The Future's Bright..

The announcement of the 3DS was a surprise in itself, but the support it was getting threw me for a loop.

A trailer of a Kid Icarus game was shown (a series not touched since the NES), championed by Project Sora, who also released Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

There's also a large amount of 3rd party support, Including some big software giants; Level 5, Square Enix, Capcom and Konami are all ready to chip in.

S

Sony

ony has a little catching up to do.

Last year it took some crackshots at both Microsoft and Nintendo with the promise of new hardware - especially the Playstation Move - set to clear out the competition. This year, the beast is unleashed, with a lineup of games to follow.

PlayStation Move

It's all about two things for Sony this year - 3D capability and the Playstation Move, which used in tandem will give a new 'immersive' experience. Since Sony has the advantage of also producing 3Dready televisions as well as gaming hardware, they were confident in being the 3D leaders (until the Nintendo 3DS took a slice of the pie).

The PS Move is for all intents and purposes a Wii Remote. Using the Eyetoy as a sensor, it does the whole 1:1 movement thing out of the box. The only problem is that it looks incredibly phallic, and has a silly-looking glowing ball on the end of it.

Swish and Flick..

A release game with the PS Move, Sorcery is an action-adventure game with a fairy-tale fantasy setup.

Your wand movements are matched by the wizard apprentice on screen, as you flick to shoot balls of energy, swirl to conjure tornadoes, and shake to stir up transformation potions. The spells on offer look neat, but the lack of a lock-on system worries me - it's a staple for the genre.

LittleBig Planet 2 offers more customisation and AI options for level designing, and more tools and abilities for the adorable Sackboys to complete them with.

Level demos shown featured a simple 'match the button press' reaction game, a bumper cars, and a low-gravity missile-combat game. This is really shaping up to be awesome.

That's it..

Sony has been talking about 3D and the PS Move for a while, and a lot of the major games were a n nounced long before the conference.

The Retro Bit: Paper Mario (N64)

I

f it ain't broke, don't fix it.

A trite phrase to be sure, but it does hold an element of truth - at least for game designers. Finding that special formula of crunchy, satifying game mechanics and sweet, stimulating graphics and sound can be a tricky balancing act; so when a developer cooks up a game that the public finds delicious, it's tempting to serve that winning combination up again and again.

This is how sequels and series get started; and how, with just one lucky break of innovation, the initially rather out-there concept for the Mario RPG grew into one of Nintendo's mainstays.

But thankfully, despite having a Mario RPG on every console since the SNES, it hasn't yet stagnated. Excited by the new Paper Mario title to appear in the lineup for the 3DS, I went back to take a

look at the N64 rendition.

As the name suggests, Paper Mario's main graphical draw is that almost all of characters, enemies, and a fair bit of the scenery all look like paper cutouts, with the surroundings akin to stage props. The battles literally take place on a theatre stage, starting and ending with a swooping curtain.

The idea of 2D characters running around in a 3D world is novel in itself, but what brought the game into its own was how uncomplicated it was to play. Unlike some of the later Mario RPGs, Paper Mario was very undemanding with its basics - you have a partner (classic Mario enemies with a cute redesign and a desire to help you kick ass) to assist in battles, but only Mario has any health. You can equip a variety of Badges to make battles easier, or even harder; but they're entirely optional. It eases you in, and then starts to demand more skill and innovation from you as you complete chapter after chapter.

It's all very smooth. This is of course, capped off by the game's quirky sense of humour. Staple Nintendo injokes aside, exploring a volcanic temple with an archeologist who insists on triggering every trap; a boss fight against 4 colour-coded Koopas who act like they're on a saturday morning cartoon; and the small sections after every boss fight where you play as Princess Peach, where she tries - and fails - to get out of Bowser's latest kidnapping scheme on her own promise some hearty chuckles.

Paper Mario's direct sequel on the Gamecube - Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door builds upon the original in almost every aspect - and is a better game for it - but it doesn't quite match the cheery panto-like tone of the original that I can't get enough of. And I hate pantomime.

It should feel a bit cheap that the sequel and the games to follow feel so similar in design and execution, but if it ain't broke...

Comments? Criticism? Love to hear 'em! Contact us at games@yorkvision.co.uk

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Books News...

SARAMAGO DIES

ON Friday 18 June, Noble Laureate Jose Saramago sadly passed away at the age of 87. An outspoken communist and atheist, he explored and challenged Portugal’s troubled political identity in a wide range of novels and won the Nobel Prize for literature in 1998. The Swedish academy praised his “parables sustained by imagination, compassion and irony”.

In the early 1990s, Saramago moved to Lanzar-

ote after Portugal’s right-wing government opposed the nomination of his controversial novel, The Gospel According to Jesus Christ, for an EU literary prize.

The prime minister when the book was blocked, Annibal Cavaco Silva, sparked controversy by failing to attend Saramago’s funeral. Silva defended his actions by claiming he never “had the privilege to know him.”

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NOT QUITE OVER THE HILL

GEOFFREY Hill, 78, has been announced as the new Oxford Professor of Poetry. Hill won the title with 1,1567 votes, beating other esteemed contenders. While last year only 297 Oxford graduates cast their vote, this year, with the elections opened up to internet voting, more than 2,500 graduates participated.

As a highly regarded contemporary poet, critic and

lecturer, Oxford University will likely be hoping that Hill’s election will dispel the sordid air that surrounded last year's election. The 2009 campaign saw Ruth Padel resign after it was revealed that she leaked the allegations of sexual harassment made against her rival Derek Walcott to the press.

The election has not, however, been without scandal.

Horovitz accused fellow nominee Lewis of “pseudo-intellectual chutzpah” and a week before election, poet Paula Claire, the only female candidate,withdrew, citing widespread favouritism towards Hill as her reason.

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TEJA PISK investigates the latest scoops from the publishing industry

ULYSSES (COMPLETELY) SEEN

APPLE has decided to allow the nude pictures included in Throwaway Horse’s graphic novel adaptation of James Joyce’s Ulysses to be shown on the iPad. Apple have previously refused to allow nude images on any of their applications, even if the offending areas are pixilated.

Despite carrying a mature rating, several panels in Ulysses Seen were deemed unacceptable.

Ulysses is no stranger to the threat of censorship: it was only 80 years ago that a judge ruled that the novel was not obscene, enabling sales of the book in the

MAKING A MARK

“SHE was a magazine of feelings”, of “all shades of force.”

These words provide a taste of the content of the 64 page tribute handwritten by Mark Twain to his daughter after she died, aged 24.

The document,

titled A Family Sketch, recently sold at Sotheby’s in New York for $242,500 (£164,000).

It is a part of a collection of Twain manuscripts which collectively are expected to sell for up to $1.2 million (£810,000).

US. Apple too appear to have conceded, claiming that they “made a mistake in enabling guidelines that were too rigid to allow for artistic growth."

The original version is now available for download on the iPad.

HIS MASTER'S WORDS

ESSAYIST Rosecrans Baldwin has observed that in almost every novel, somewhere in the distance, there is a dog barking. An impressively diverse range of writers, including Joyce, Woolf, Vonnegut, Faulkner (“the fireflies drifted; somewhere a dog barked, mellow sad, faraway”), Jodi Picoult, Stephen King and Jackie Collins

(“somewhere a dog barked mournfully”) have all included a variation on the phrase “somewhere a dog barked” in their work.

ALWAYS A CLASSIC als the Period to Television: MERRYN HOCKADAY reve

T

he summer holidays are nearly upon us and with the tantalising prospect of stress-free, long, lazy days ahead, the last thing you may feel like doing is cracking open one of those classic novels that you have a vague sense you really ought to read at some point. Delving into the literary cannon can, however, reveal some forgotten gems. Elizabeth Gaskell, author of novels such as North and South and Cranford, is one forgotten treasure.

Everyone raves about Jane Austen’s period romances, but Gaskell often fails to get the credit that she truly deserves. North and South is said to be the Pride and Prejudice of the Victorian era, with the tumultuous relationship at the heart of the novel between Margaret Hale and John Thornton said to be reminiscent of that between Lizzie Bennet and Mr. Darcy. Whilst the relationships are very similar (girl meets boy, girl hates boy, but is still won over by him) the context is startlingly different. North and South is set in Industrial Manchester and it is as gritty as the polluted air the characters breathe.

Be prepared to bear witness to several deaths amongst the romance. Not only will you discover a story of classic romance, you'll also become well informed about the 19th century political scene. There are plenty of twists within the five hundred page novel and Margaret is far from a predictable character. Mr. Thornton is definitely in the same category as Mr. Darcy: strong, sullen, but deeply infatuated.

If, however, the sombre black Penguin Classics book jackets just seem too off putting then there’s a wide array of television adaptations of Gaskell’s works that are almost as rewarding as the novels themselves. As the

dramas of Elizabeth Gaskell

BBC are yet to follow 4OD’s incredibly wise footsteps and upload their archives onto the iPlayer, you may have to splash out and purchase the DVDs, although in most cases a box set works out at roughly the same price as a novel.

While Dickens and Austen have long been stalwarts of BBC period dramas (recent years have seen a slew of Dickens adaptations from Little Dorrit, The Old Curiosity Shop, and the critically acclaimed Bleak House), the BBC finally saw Gaskell’s potential at the beginning of the decade and serialised North and South in 2004 and this was followed by the two series of Cranford.

In the BBC adaption of North and South the ever brooding Mr. Thornton is played by Richard Armitage who is said to have had played a large part in the success of the series, just as Colin Firth’s infamous wet shirt scene in Pride and Prejudice has done much to keep interest in that production alive.

Gaskell’s novels certainly lend themselves well to screen adaptations: well developed characters, intriguing subplots and strong, overarching plots that engage with major issues of the time combine to produce a gripping drama.

I would suggest (as is the case with most book to screen adaptations) that you read first, watch later. I have really enjoyed discovering Gaskell; there are many good writers who have somehow been forgotten but Gaskell should definitely not be castaside. So pick up a copy and get reading! I would definitely recommend watching the BBC DVD as well, every sceptic will be won over by Richard Armitage with his excellent acting and penetrating stare!

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RATED READS S

et amidst the clinking glasses of Manhattans, martinis and champagne cocktails in 1940s New York, Truman Capote’s novella, Breakfast at Tiffany's follows the (mis)adventures of Miss Holly Golightly, socialite, girl-about-town and “top banana in the shock department,” as remembered and narrated by her neighbour.

Sadly, this wonderful slice of fiction is much overshadowed by the glamorous Hollywood film version which immortalised Audrey Hepburn, but offers an alternative, more realistic, version of the story and characters.

It is a beautifully

crafted story, offering an in-depth character study of Holly and a sense of what it really is like to live in the hustle and bustle of New York, where life can instantly switch between the tragic and the glamorous.

Capote smatters his tale with sly, biting humour, such as his portrayal of the various unusual characters that litter Holly’s life whilst his elegant and often poetic style of writing led Norman Mailer (a Pulitzer Prize winner) to call Capote “the most perfect writer of my generation."

Fans of the film will no doubt become fans of the original novella.

This is a culturally iconic book and a wonderful read. Managing to be both gritty and glamorous simultaneously, Capote offers the perfect escape from the inevitably wet summer we have ahead of us.

A

novel that focuses on a Greek hermaphrodite and touches upon issues of incest, immigration and genocide may not seem an obvious choice for a holiday read. Middlesex, however, is a novel that proves to be far more readable and gripping than a simple summary suggests.

With Middlesex, Jeffrey Eugenides lives up to the promise of his debut novel, The Virgin Suicides, proving his potential to be the next great American novelist.

The startling description and sense of grand tragedy that pervaded The Virgin Suicides is still present, but beyond this Middlesex is a

SOPHIE STEIGER

very different novel, one that is simultaneously a sprawling family saga and a provocative insight into the mind of a hermaphrodite.

Cal is raised as a girl, Callie, in a family of Greek immigrants living in America. Half of the book is dedicated to the story of Cal's ancestors, as Eugenides deftly lays foundations of superstition, history and science in an attempt to explain Cal's situation. It is, however, the second half of the novel that soars as Eugenides convincingly enters the mindset of a teenage hermaphrodite struggling to find a place in an unforgiving society.

In Middlesex, Eugenides weaves a complex story spanning three generations that is epic, intensely moving and surprisingly funny. Jackie Collins it ain't, but if you want a gripping beach read with a brain then look no further.

P

erhaps it was the effect of having two multi-award winning novels that led Smith to suffer from 'novel nausea' so for the time being, she has taken a step away from fiction to present us with Changing My Mind, an enchanting collection of literary and philosophical essays, reviews and travel journals. Divided into five sections, ‘Reading’, ‘Being’, ‘Seeing’, ‘Feeling', and ‘Remembering’, Smith guides us through a series of subjects varying from Kafka to Katherine Hepburn. Al-

though she claims it was, "written by accident", Smith’s articulate and intriguing stance has the power to captivate, delight and stimulate simultaneously.

If you have overdosed on chick-lit, Dan Brown or whatever your choice of poolside reading, this offers the perfect antidote.

It is intelligent without being intimidating and offers such a wide range of topics that you can flick between a humorous diary of the week leading up to the Oscars to an autobiographical account of a trip to Liberia and always be entertained.

Smith’s enthusiasm throughout this anthology is contagious and inspires you to discover new authors, old films and exotic places. Whilst a collection of essays may seem too much like degree work, it couldn't be more different, or delightful.

SOPHIE STEIGER

RACHEL PRONGER

RISE OF THE ZINES Tabi Joy explores the craze sweeping the publishing sector...

T

he swift progression of technology has dramatically altered the ways in which we encounter and read books.

From Amazon's threats to the high street book market, to the eReader and online publishing sites, it is evident that the book industry has been irrevocably changed.

Zines are a peculiar mixture of both this new and far-reaching technology, and distinctly older conventions. The term 'zine' broadly covers cheap, self-produced, pamphlet-style literature that spans a wide range of topics and has been in operation in various guises ever since printing first became possible. Zines can be digital files hosted on websites, or neatly bound volumes made via a printing press, or even photocopied A4 sheets folded and stapled together. The wide possibilities available

are an integral part of zines, giving writers the ability to transmit new messages in new ways.

A brilliantly accessible way to get work published...

Zines have been used predominantly in the past to communicate political views, such as Thomas Paine's Common Sense, self-published and distributed in 1776, or the riot grrrl movement of the 90s. However, this is less apparent in modern zines, which tend to feature artwork, photography, comics or short stories.

The growth of the Internet has meant that a lot of tangible zines have been transferred to websites and there is a definite online presence of e-zines that are available

to download. On the other hand, websites such as Etsy or Alternative Press have many zines for sale from independent sellers. Zines still have a presence offline, too; there are zine conventions and UK fairs such as 'Handmade and Bound', the 'London Zine Symposium', 'Zineswap' or the 'Manchester Zine Fest'. At these events, zines are distributed for free or for a nominal price that covers production. Comic book shops often stock zines, and there are several magazines that promote zines or zine-style work. Zine exclusive libraries are even being established in London, Manchester and Portsmouth.

Zines are a brilliant and accessible way to get work published, and to obtain exposure that otherwise wouldn't be possible. This is particularly useful in a social climate where writers and artists have their own work, but no real way to draw attention to it. Under other circumstances, their work would be ignored or passed over, yet the zine movement enables people to promote literature at a grassroots level, in a similar way to music exposure online.

It might be said that there remains

some snobbishness about selfpublishing, as it is easy to confuse it with vanity publishing (when an author pays a fee to a publishing company to print their work and distribute it). It is therefore difficult to keep track of this burgeoning movement, with such a diverse output. It is unlikely that zines will ever be reviewed in newspapers in the same way as mainstream published novels, but that is not their main function; primarily, the intention is to reach out to a wide audience by any means possible. It is purely an independent movement that need not rely upon funding or the critic's opinion. It is a self-motivated and proactive effort and is open to a wide range of possibilities.

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Don't go mini-breaking my bank Vision recommends last minute cheap, cheerful and cultural breaks

Dubrovnik, Croatia RACHEL PRONGER Phrase Book: 'Bok / Dobar Dan' - Hello 'Živjeli!' - Cheers, 'Govoriš li hrvatski?' - Do you speak Croatian?

'Dva piva molim' - Two beers please 'U pomo! Pozovite policiju!'- Help! Call the police! (well you never know...)

'Moja je lebdjelica puna jegulja' - My hovercraft is full of eels Top 5 Sites: but with a beach!

1) Have a wander around the beautiful walled city- like York, gh hold on tight, the (althou islands uring neighbo the 2) Go on a boat trip around ) swim... can you if asked being of consist simply checks safety sive art collection.

3)Visit the Dominican monastery, a fortress housing an impres Italian culture, reand Slavic of pot melting a is nik Dubrov ydiversit 4) Enjoy the g but affordstunnin some ing (includ sulting in some lovely restaurants and shops able jewellers). e.

5) Enjoy the gorgeous beaches and the Mediterranean sunshin RACHEL PRONGER

Dubrovnik

al Summer Festiv

r

Beaux-Arts

, Lille

Lille, France

The Dubrovnik Summer Festival is an annual spectacular that runs from July 10th - August 25th. The festival has been a Croatian cultural highlight since 1949 and presents a diverse programme of classical music, dance, drama and opera. The festival is a perfect way to get your cultural fix Croatian style within the stunning city walls.

Monastery Cloiste

Palais des

Phrase Book: ‘Salut/ Bonjour’ – Hello ‘Merci Beaucoup’ – Thank you ‘Ou est le boit de nuit?' Where is the nightclub?

Top 5 Sites: 1) Visit the Fine Art Mu seum (Palais des BeauxArts), the second larges museum in France, afte t general arts r the Louvre. Inside thi s huge 19th Century hou substantial collection of se there is a European paintings.

2) Walk around the Eural ille, the new part of the city designed in the late futuristic lines and lots of 1980s. With glass it creates an intere sting view, especially in to the older architecture comparison of the city.

3) Be toured around the Citadelle, a military for t built between 1667 and city within a city, and stil 1670. It was a l houses an army today, making a visit a very int individual experience. eresting and 4) Admire the P'tit Quinq uin statue in the square Foch. It tells the story of of a poor lace-maker fro an old lullaby m the Saint-Sauveur dis trict who is trying to get sleep. This beautiful scu her baby to lpture is definitely worth a look.

5) Have an organic beer at Cafe Citoyen, where Int ernet access is free and tal discussions welcomed. environmenFounded in 2005, it is rec ommended for a very diff experience! erent bar

ROWAN SIPPITT

Liverpool, England Phrase Book: go for a pint?

'D'yer fancy mooching down the alehouse?' - Would you like to 'Alright lad/chief/boss/mate/love' – Hello ‘Ta La’ – Thank you me new trainees' - I went 'I went to the cashy, next to the hozzy and got some mulah for for my new trainers money some got and l hospita the to to the cash machine, next Top 5 Sites: c) and admire the dif1) Walk between the 2 cathedrals (one Protestant and one Catholi ferences in designs. train journey out of the 2) Visit Anthony Gormley’s sculptures on Crosby Beach - a short scattered throughout, res sculptu bronze centre and then a lovely beach walk with these vista. ting interes creating a fun and name bands have played, 3) Walk down the steps into ‘The Cavern’ – where so many big drink! a g enjoyin whilst playing is r and be sure to stay for whoeve ual sculpture gallery. You 4) Take a wonder around the Tate Liverpool, enjoy the individ to listen to music whilst ones headph given are you when are sucked into your own world Picasso exhibition on this ary tempor the enjoy or res, sculptu of variety the admire you summer. river side buildings.

5) Take a ferry trip across the Mersey and enjoy the views of

LOUISA MCLELLAN

y Anthony Sculptures b Gormley

Tate Liverp

ool

over the Sunday A free festival, called the Matthew Street Festival, takes place range of bands huge a With d. weeken Holiday Bank August the of Monday and MOBOs- the the of tion celebra a and band playing - including a Beatles tribute faces. s people’ on smile a put to bound is 2 day festival

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Festival Fun Maryja Morrison investigates some of the many weird and wonderful cultural offerings this Summer...

C

heese rolling, sticky red the better, as this festival is not one to food fights of epic sniffed at. be that we excel in bringing With a high number of casualtie the art of innovative competis during the tion to the doorste proportions, shin course of ps of the British! Try your han the bull runs, it is a good thing d (or that the small rather leg) at kicking competitions, tow a shin kicking competition in n of Pamplona is home to 3 hos the Cotpitals! bull runs and lawn swa lds' very own Olympics or perhaps kno Across the world to Thailand cking down now: participants ea- Yorkshir mower races; we hu- gerl e puddings with a black pudding y line up to run 1,093 steps in is more your an exci ting mans are indeed a very Mar Ver tica l styl e (at the Roy al Oak Pub in Ramsbottom). The athon from the 1st to the 61st floo r of Bangkok’s fa- quite uns re is, odd race! With the mou urprisingly, something for ever s Banyan Tree hotel. For any yone!

Yor kies wishing to well-known festivals challen So why look to Spain, ge the current champion, you will be expected Thailand kicking off (or down, to fini or anysh the gruelling run in 6 minutes 16 seconds! On where else or up, or under!) across the for upside however, you would be the world, Culture brings you raising money for that mat an insight charity. Always ter, when into the weird and wonderful a plus ! world of (universal) fesBritain has what On home turf, we have a list tival fun! of exotic festivals to it take s to deliver riva l the wor ld’s Spain, with its reputation for most institutionalised and infa simous. the most random estas, long breakfasts and gen Fro m the pagan Summer Solstice sum eral mer fun ever. relaxed party atmosphere, at Stonehenge and the nomitakes Grab yourself centre stage with its well known nall y religious Shrovetide You ‘La th Hostel MemTomatina’ festival hosted by football in Ashbourne to the Buñol bership and secure (just 30km from Valencia) and Mower racing world Champithe yourself a group daring and rather foolhardy onships held in Wisborough festiof friends who will val of ‘San Fermin’, the ulti Green and Europe’s largest unashamedly mate run after cheese, play at being Bull Run taking place in Pam little shin kicking kids Fire festival ‘Up Helly Aa’ on plona and get excited at racing mowers (Northern Spain). The form through the mud. Our the Shetland Islands, Britain er is nation is back on form with purportedly the world’s larg the sun set to shine and prov es that it has est not lost British people ever ywhere digging out their Sun (organised) food fight with sight of its deep seated herday more worst, for a line up of mud, fire than 150,000 tomatoes being hur and food! itage. Signs of it are everyled For mor e info rmation on the different festival through the air in a red and stic where, and I love it. Our sense s getky ting underway across the wor style of warfare. The latter is ld and for cheap flights of bar my trad ition also s and age- to the different dest inations, check out the followin dominated by red as the spec long festivals adds credence to g: tators line the streets the cult http://www.2camels.com/fes ure and history of Britain. Fro dressed in white with red scar tivals/bizar re-festivals. m the highlands php#festival-snippe fs. However, the less of Sco tland to the white cliffs of Dov ts er, I can safely say

More than just a few men in tights!

g Ebdon Photo by Gre

Louisa M cLellan re view final nigh t of the Su s the mmer Panto Gatherin g

t a s e n e c s e Behind th were involved

on the Paradise steps of may not Sunday of PantS after noo sound li oc’s Rob ke the sta Vanbrugh n to in Hood most peo of locati rt of was an e ple. How on from xce ever the a great th sunshin last nigh e with sn e Charles XII P ption. After an t improm ub, ever ack certainly ptu chan yone sett worth th s and drinks to g e le d w e d a c o tch the e oncrete We wer seats! ntertain wn under the Hood an e told the tale of ment - a d a usele nd it wa th e b attle betw ss Sherif s a lady. W een a sli f as they ith puns g h fo tl , innuen y u audienc g b h e t w o il v dered Ro do, er the la ew nd, bin of Robin as constantly gig and slapstick co medy be and of course, o gling or Hood, a ver in b w along th o g h o o th in d r u g o . n w With a m nit endin e way, th ixture of n about, the g, and a is perfor outside few the m setting fi rstly left ance flew by wit mythical creatu classic tale soon got r h consta the audie into the nt laugh es thrown in sp nce a litt already s. Althou happy atm irit and the app le quiete gh the e a r rance of osphere.

The ch the sun d than usual, eve ry efinitely technica ange of setting helped fu one l hitches - mostly left the show w el the however ith a fe in the cast w dealt we volving the mic tinuing ll with th rophone on whate ses v group c horeogr er. They also de e surprises, con aphy we alt with and sur ll, as we the larg pris e ll as giv Lewis-Sm ing twist on s in g ome old a new it fa Guy of G h made a a crow d-pleasin vourite songs. is g villain defences bour ne who wis , the evil E d hed to "p ." His inn enetrate uendos c S i r while Lit Maid Ma onstantl tle John y cracke rion….’s , played and aww d b u y -ing as h p the aud e fell in lo Greg Ebdon, had ience, A specia u v l mentio n should e with the fair m s all cheering Griffin, aiden him also be g Tom Cro iv wley, wh self. in stitch ose ever en to the player es. y of the move ha On the w d th e audien hole it w noon; en ce as a grea joy certainly ing the sunshin t way to spend a S e a great w unday a fteray to end with a smile on my face the week was end!

ple who o e p e h t f o e m o stival... fe ir Vision talks to s a n e p o l a u G's ann in putting on RA

ance in this years

orm was part of dance societies perf Nicola Catchpoleher contribution:

Woodstock and tells us about Tur ner. Each song a medley, choreographed by Beth "I did a tap dance to a Lady Gag ld vary, everyone cou y so that the levels of difficult had a different group of dancers 5 and have been or 4 k Wee in s ition too tired! We had aud

by Dance Soc could perform and we didn't get on put y ks. Our dance was one of the man rehearsing for the past few wee in this year's Woodstock."

in the Zamar Gospel Choi Rob Carruthers, who sings the s past year and love it. The music is alway r says:

"I've been singing with Zamar for enjoy singing together, and there's a great fantastic, but most importantly we all really day, practising some old favourites for Satur atmosphere in our concerts. We had been us!" with along sing a a bit of so we hope everyone enjoyed it - and had

Andrew Grantham

is part of DanceSoc and o and Jive, along with Tang , performed the Viennese Waltz doing - the Cha Cha are t espor Danc es danc the other two general preparation the t Cha and Samba. He tells us abou : event this for the society had for most of "We've been putting the routines together last week! ed finish rly prope all them got the term, but only exciting some ing It's been great fun with everyone learn g the havin and e, spher atmo team routines, in a great t can do." espor Danc what one every show to ce chan Photo by Dancesport.ru

MUSIC

SPOTLIGHT

FILM

TV

GAMES

20 QUESTIONS

Mitchell Museum Interview by David Elliott Describe yourself in 5 words.

Sweaty junk pop music makers.

What do you value most in the world?

Sleep. It recharges and satisfies with entertaining little movies to accompany it. And it's free.

Where do you want to be in 5 years?

We'd like to be in Back to the Future Part II. I want one of those Pepsi bottles.

What was the last movie you saw?

The last moview we all watched as a band was the Muppet Wizard of Oz while driving back up from London.

And the last album you listened to?

Tobacco - Maniac Meat.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now where would you be?

Dan Le Sac and Scoobius Pip have just finished playing at Glastonbury this very minute. I'd have liked to have been there. I do love overly bearded men with something to say.

What's the best gig you've ever been to?

Why? at Stereo in Glasgow was the

most recent amazing gig I've attended.

We waited years for them to come to Glasgow and they took requests on the last few songs and played '21st Century Pop Song' by Hymies Basement last.

Have you had any obsessive fan experiences?

Once some very large guy came up to Cammy once at a cashpoint and started shaking his hand and staring right into his eyes and rather weirdly started singing the lyrics to one of our songs that not many people had heard. But he was actually quite nice so we were pleased about it. He did take Cammys wallet though, so it wasn't entirely a happy story.

Who would you least like to be stuck in a lift with?

Dougie from Mitchell Museum. He likes to play games that are not always appropriate.

Who is your personal hero?

Frank Welker. He voiced a huge number of cartoons from the late 70's right up to the current day. He was Fred from Scooby Doo, Megatron in Transformers, Ray in the Real Ghost-

BOOKS

CULTURE

LISTINGS

Mitchell Museum are an up-and-coming indie rock band hailing from Glasgow. With a live set on Radio 1 and a shout-out from Q as the Next Big Thing under their belts, Mitchell Museum's star is rising fast: their recently released single 'Warning Bells' has garnered positive reviews in magazines such as NME and Artrocker and they have recently nabbed a support slot with fellow indie kids Mystery Jets.

We sat down with bassist Kris Ferguson to determine what makes him (and his band) tick... busters and Uni in Dungeons and Dragons. He was very much the sound of my childhood.

Tell us a joke.

Stolen from Mitch Hedberg: "I went into a store and said I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So, I got a cake instead."

Who would play you in a movie of your life?

We'd dress Eddie Murphy up in a bunch of different mitchell museum suits and he could play the whole band and crack wise with himself in the back of a tour van.

McCoys or Kettle Chips?

McCoys all the way.

If you weren't a musician what would you be?

We're also part of a clothing and design label, Electra French, so we'd probably be doing that.

Do you have any pre-performance routines?

It usually involves too many beers and last second bathroom visits just as we are about to go on.

If you could rid the world of one

thing, what would it be?

Sharks. Horrible buggers.

Describe the current state of the music industry in 1 word.

Pesky.

Who is your celebrity crush?

We're all quite big fans of Karen Gillan, the newest Doctor Who assistant.

When were you happiest?

Thats a pretty big question to answer honestly. Most recently we got our vinyl order of our album in and seeing our artwork folded out in the full 3-panel gatefold and then taking the stereo out into the garden to listen to it and drinking shandy in the sun. That was a pretty nice day.

Vision or Nouse?

I feel like we may have been pressured into this, but I guess we will say Nouse... no wait, Vision! Is that right?

Do we pass? Vision, definitely Vision.

[Editor: Vision wishes to reassure readers that Mitchell Museum were in no way coerced re: the last question]

PICKS OF THE WEEK WEDNESDAY 30 SUMMER BALL

THURSDAY 1 BIG D (and little D)

Derwent & Langwith Colleges £22

York Racecourse £42/£75

This year's Summer Ball promises to be the biggest and best end for all York 2010 leavers. There will be fairground rides, free candy floss, a Hook-a-Duck stall as well as N-Dubz.

We all love a bit of Dappy...

UNIVERSITY SHOWCASE CONCERT Sir Jack Lyons Concert Hall £3 students

Featuring stand out performances from York music students as well as a performance from Brazilian jazz pianist, José (Zezo) Olimpio.

SUNDAY 4 ASH

The Duchess £15 adv/£17 Eight millions albums later, Ash are going strong and are hitting The Duchess next Sunday.

Playing to a more intimate crowd isn't something they do very often so you should definitely check the rock veterans out if you have the chance.

Big D is the biggest University event of the year and this year, it sold out in a record 12 hours. Despite the problems with YUSU's online store, this year's seven-deadly-sins-themed festival is set to be bigger and better than its predecessors, with acts such as Chase & Status and Audio Bullys taking to the stage.

GRACE! THE MUSICAL York Theatre Royal 19:30/£10

A new musical written by Dennis Westgate and directed by Charlotte Gray. The show features the lifeboat rescue that made Grace famous, and what happened in the aftermath. Concluding in 1842, when Grace was 26.

FRIDAY 9

Scenesters Scene Editor Jaime Riley

MYSTERY JETS Fibbers £13 adv

Music Editors Chris Craddock Rachel Pronger Deputy Music Lydia Winter Film Editors Tom Martin Jenny McLarney TV Editor Scott Bryan

Five piece band Mystery Jets are gracing Fibbers with their fusion of 80s and indie tunes. They'll be showcasing their new material as their latest album is due out July 5th.

Don't miss this one.

Games Editor Nathan Blades Books Editors Tabi Joy Teja Pisk Culture Editors Louisa McLellan Maryja Morrison