York Vision 207 - Scene

SCENE Issue 207 - 8/06/10

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Music News... age being spread virally across the Internet.

Williams has thanked fans for their support following the incident.

However many have expressed doubts as to whether her account was really hacked, with some suggesting that is unlikely that someone would have been able to gain access both to the photo and her account.

The current story is that Hayley was trying to direct message her boyfriend, which suggests that Williams maybe needs a little more Twitter practice before she sheds her clothes in future.

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FOLLOWING last issue's revelation that N-Dubz frontman Dappy had been caught taking the drug mephadrone, the trio have managed to further their amiable reputation by getting involved in a "foul mouthed row" with Lethal Bizzle at a celebrity charity football tournament, Soccer 6.

This time it was moody brunette Tulisa's turn to prove her ladylike credentials by shouting abuse at the UK rapper. The artists have been involved in previous skurmishes fol

FREEZE ME BABY ONE MORE TIME

lowing Bizzle's claims that the band stole part of their hit song 'I Need You Now' from one of his demos. Bizzle was reportedly minding his own business when Tulisa yelled "We're gonna f**king do you!"

However, on a more positive note, Tulia triumphed in the female final of the soccer competition.

MAC ATTACK

EX-BEATLE and happy divorcee Paul McCartney, 67, had to be rescued by the police last week after his tourbus was attacked by thugs in Mexico City.

Whilst touring Mexico, the singer and his crew passed through a decidedly dodgy area of the city when a gang of teenagers stopped his coach, climbed onto the roof and started jumping up and down.

His security initially believed them to be a swarm of fans, but once the youths scaled the bus, the situation changed dramatically. and the police were called.

SUPERSTAR Britney Spears has looked into being cryogenically frozen after her death, in the hope that she can be brought back to life in the future.

Spears has apparently been researching the Alcor Life Extension Foundation, an organsiation who freeze bodies in liquid nitrogen. She allegedly plans to donate $350,000 to the foundation.

D e s p i t e , at one stage, considering having her ashes turned to diamonds, Spears appears to have settled upon the cryogenics route after falling victim to the urban myth about Walt Disney's frozen head.

Sources say Britney recently spent a trip to Disneyland researching the matter whilst a nanny took her children around the theme park.

According to a source, "Paul was very shaken up" but has since recovered. Following a concert at The Whitehouse, fans will be relieved to hear he is now in the safe hands of Leader of the Free World, possible superhero and all round good guy, President Obama.

World cup songS: the good, the bad and the ugly W orld cup fever has descended upon the nation once again and I, for one, have been infected by this incurable disease. Its venom flows through my veins, forcing me to relentlessly badger my housemates about what they plan to do when my beloved England take to the field. I hope they understand that over the coming weeks, our TV has no other purpose than to be screamed at. As World Cup fever spreads, I suddenly develop an irrational need to listen to the skin-tingling, heart-pounding, and simply hypnotic sound of David Baddiel and Frank Skinner singing along to The Lighting Seeds' legendary song, 'Three Lions'. There is little hope for me now! No song since then has ever came close to encapsulating what I feel when I see our boys in white step onto the battlefield.

Not only does my mind drift back to that unforgettable chant of '96, but also to the mesmeric rap from John Barnes in New Order's 'World In Motion'. The lyrics spoke to all the fans of the beautiful game; the whole song was simply fantastic.

Then, when I was a young impressionable lad of only nine years I heard a song that would completely change my live forever. A song that puts Doctor Who and his Tardis to shame:

LISTINGS

LYDIA WINTER reveals all the latest news and gossip from the music industry

N-DUBZ KICK OFF

MISERY BUSINESS

HAYLEY Williams, the Christian lead singer of emo rockband Paramore, has been left red faced after accidentally uploading a topless photo of herself onto Twitter.

The photo, which features the flame-haired singer staring seductively at the camera, appears to have been taken by the lady herself. Within minutes she received messages such as 'WTF?!' and 'R U crazy?' Williams claims that she did not post the photo. "Well... my night just changed drastically, got hacked," she later tweeted. Despite quickly removing the photo, the singer couldn't stop the im-

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'Carnival De Paris'. It instantly transports me through time and space, sending me across the channel to France '98. It's the first world cup song that I recall, and what a song it is!

Another example of football getting it right, was the wonderful moment when Pavarotti sang the wonderful 'Nessun Dorma' at the 1990 World Cup in Italy. It was symbolic of that tournament and boldly screamed the passion of the Italian fans. However, the remake of 'Three Lions' in 1998 is the pinnacle of all football songs - we England fans can never seem to give up on despite the years of hurt.

It is sometimes surprising how the mind holds onto the good, and casually throws away the bad. Nevertheless, my piece would not be complete if I did not criticise, condemn and castrate all those who have ruined this spectacular global event by attempting some form of musical atrocity. Ant and Dec, Slim Jim and even Embrace are all guilty offenders with sub-standard songs. They are either boring, horrendously repetitive and, in the case of Embrace, instantly forgettable. In fact the vast majority of football songs are woeful, cringing and tuneless.

Yet, for South Africa 2010 there is a chance for salvation (well, for the music anyway). England has multiple artists competing for the official role, but there are also two strong competitors for the unofficial world cup song. Russell Brand and Robbie Williams

are attempting the third remake of the uplifting 'Three Lions', and the alternative comedy god Rik Mayall is releasing 'Noble England'. This interesting piece is a football version of Shakespeare's epic Henry V speech before the taking of Harfleur.

After listening to both, I am going offer the exact same advice to those who are hopeful for an English triumph in South Africa. They should be great, they should be amazing, and they should be world beaters. However, they're just not. How Williams and Brand, as avid football fans, could do such a thing to this Song of Songs begs belief ! Then again, listening to Robbie's latest offerings and watching Russell's movies, I begin to understand. As for Rik's track, though it is considerably better, it is unlikely to inspire the crowds to chant "Shakespeare!" from the stands, and is well below what I expected from someone of his undoubted genius. With other musicians such as Noel Gallagher lining up for another attempt, I think during this World Cup I may be hurling obscenities in other directions besides where the TV is stood.

I feel at this point, I should summarise using some timeless football clichĂŠs. At the end of the day, it's a game of two halves. The lads have put in a tremendous amount of effort and we know their hearts are in the right places.

We may not have got the result we wanted but we can be proud of performance.

They think the clichĂŠs are over; they are now.

CHRIS CRADDOCK

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JOHNNY FLYNN Rachel Pronger quizzes the ex choir boy about festivals, Laura Marling and Shakespeare...

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LISTINGS

Laura Cress Dave Elliott

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review this week's...

SINGLES The Gaslight Anthem American Slang Out 14th June

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pringsteen's disciples The Gaslight Anthem are back with more indie rock straight out of New Jersey. Chest beating guitars pump hard throughout and don't fail to deliver satisfaction, whether you're a new listener or a hardened fan. The band are set to hit Reading and Leeds festivals and if this song is anything to go by, they're definitely one not to miss.

Eminem Not Afraid Out 14thJune

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minem goes back to his serious rapping style with this taster from his upcoming seventh album Recovery. With lyrics such as “I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one” Eminem reflects on going for rehabilitation for his drug abuse and “facing his demons”, with his usual emotional panache, but whether it’s the subject matter or the rapper finally losing the magic touch, the song seems to hold back from being as powerful as previous songs such as 'Toy Soldiers' or 'Lose Yourself'.

Harper Simon

Wishes and Stars Out 21st June

T Vision: How would you describe your sound and how has it developed on the new album?

Johnny Flynn: I can't really describe it.

That's not my job. Why would anyone want to describe music when you can listen to it?

V: You cite Yeats and Shakespeare as among your influences. In what ways would you say these literary figures impact upon the music you create?

JF: There's a sense of mystery in their writing - there's always the presence of something 'other' that sits amongst the physical things they describe that isn't ever defined, and that connects with me.

V: Your lyrics are often very rich and poetic. What usually comes first when writing, the lyrics or the music?

JF: Either might come fist but a lot of the time they're written quite separately and then I put them together.

V: You are often described as part of the nu-folk scene that includes Noah and the Whale, Mumford and Sons and Laura Marling. Do you like being described as part of a

musical movement? How comfortably do you think your music sits alongside these artists?

JF: I don't really see the point of putting people together in a box and I don't see a huge amount in common between those musicians... I know them and am friends with them and have toured with them but I think we're doing quite different things.

V: Which artists have had the biggest affect on your song writing over the years? Who did you listen to most when growing up?

JF: Lots of people. I like classic song writers like Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, Johnny Mercer... I listened to a lot of old blues and country growing up. I'm into old Appalachian string bands... And punk. I like wire.

V: Which current artists interest you at the moment?

JF: Anna Calvi.

V: Your last album was recorded with your band the Sussex Wit but your EP and new album are solo projects. Are the Sussex Wit no more? Do you have any plans to play with them again in the future?

JF: The new album was recorded with the Sussex Wit - they're still my band and we just finished a tour together.

And some of them played on the EP. V: We are reaching festival season.

Are you a festival fan yourself?

JF: I like them but I have to go to about 30 every year so I get a bit festivalled out... I like it when I take friends along to ones we're playing and have adventures.

V: In what ways is it different playing to a festival crowd rather than your usual audiences?

JF: The energy at festivals is usually a lot more relaxed- especially if you play on the last day, people have been decompressing for a few days. If you play a show in a town and people come straight from work or whatever it can be a bit more frenetic. But both are good.

V: What would you say has been your career highlight so far?

JF: Having a career...

RACHEL PRONGER

he son of legendary folk singer Paul Simon, Harper doesn’t so much channel the musical personality of his father as rip out his voicebox and holler through it. Harper’s genes have obviously served him well though, and the fragile layered voices on this track complement the light acoustic arrangement perfectly. It’s also a perfect taster for the easy charm of his debut album which, though decidedly inferior to Papa Simon’s best (the two sound too similar to avoid comparison altogether), makes for engaging listening.

JLS The Club is Alive Out 4th July

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he Club is Aliiiivee...with the sound of musiiiic“ starts this new single from tween idols JLS... but sadly there isn’t a Julie Andrews in sight, and it doesn’t get much more coherent than this. “You can be the DJ, I can be the dance floor, You could get up on me” just sounds like a suggestion for masochism at its most bizarre – in what way is having someone stamp up and down on you sexy? JLS seemed to have stepped down (or up?) from their boy band roots and taken up the Eurovision spirit, and even with its bizarre lyrics it's still likely to become a Salvation dance floor classic – just be prepared to run away from anyone who asks you to be a dance floor.

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Albums...

The HOUSE

Out Now

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'Kentucky Pill' seem to suggest a lean towards Neil Young-style-social-commentary: 'I'm running with a gun/That's gonna shoot my playmates down' (although these gritty lyrics are a slightly at odds with Flynn's past as a Shakespearian actor).

Overall, this album secures Flynn's status as a distinctive artist whose constantly evolving sounds makes him fascinating to watch, though it's a shame he won't crack Radio 1 this time around.

atie Melua is back... and I can't say I've missed her.

The House is reminiscent of a glass of overly diluted juice: it’s watery, bland and lacks flavour. It's surprising that Melua remains as homogenous as ever, seeing as this time she's ditched her long time collaborator, one time Womble Mike Batt, and has teamed up with hit Madonna and U2 producer William Orbit.

It is obvious from the opening track that this is Melua's stab at being edgy. The unintentional dark humour of ‘I’d Love To Kill You’ is a long way from the Melua who once sang about bicycles in Beijing. Yet, even when she is threatening to kill people, Melua remains as frustratingly dull as ever. Lyrics that attempt to be kooky such as "I’d like to kill you by a stream, where no one can hear my baby scream" simply ring crazy lady alarm bells.

There are moments that suggest potential. The first single to be released from the album, ‘The Flood’, mixes together Indian influences with a relaxed rocky feel which works well and makes

way for a drastic change of mood in the middle, becoming upbeat and trippy. ‘No Fear of Heights’ and ‘Tiny Alien’ also suggest some interesting ideas. However, these tracks are anomalies in an otherwise vapid album.

The music scene has changed considerably since Melua's last release in 2007. With lacklustre releases such as this, she will have to work hard in order to remain successful in the charts where strong, distinctive women such as Lady Gaga and Rihanna now dominate.

TOM MARLOW

RACHEL PRONGER

THE DIVINE COMEDY

Pendulum Immersion

BANG GOES THE KNIGHTHOOD

Out Now

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Out Now

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Been listening

usically, Bang Goes The Knighthood sits somewhere between the chamber pop sound mastermind Neil Hannon has been developing for the band's last ten albums and a West End musical.

Opener 'In The Street Down Below' shifts halfway from warm piano chords into bandstand prancing, whilst the album's title track is a waltzing combination of accordion, piano and organ.

The theatrical style of the album makes it a colourful and varied

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KATIE MELUA

johnny flynn ohnny Flynn is a singer/songwriter who is often lumped into the London Nu-Folk scene, but has yet to achieve the breakthroughs recently enjoyed by the likes of Laura Marling, Noah and the Whale and Mumford & Sons. Flynn's debut A Larum may have been warmly received, but it failed to receive widespread radio play despite offering some infectious, catchy folk.

Been Listening is hardly likely to thrust Flynn into the mainstream, as its sound isn't easily accessible. Despite this, the album is full of the sort of lyrical complexity and melodic skill that make Flynn a formidable talent. Flynn's sound has noticeably matured since his debut. His voice, once boyish, has hardened, giving his vocals a world weary edge that suits the understated pathos of lyrics such as "all that I have is a river" in 'The Water' a duet with Laura Marling.

The carefree fiddles and deliberately scratchy cellos that defined Flynn's first album are now gone; instead, weaving brass and banjos create dense polyphony on songs such as 'Been Listening'. This depth, reminiscent at times of Dixieland jazz, rewards repeated listens. Flynn's new approach reveals aspects of his sound that have previously been unexplored. 'Howl' owes an obvious debt to the blues, whilst the lyrics of

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listen, but there's a sense that it's at the price of the band's most distinctive feature: Hannon's vocal.

Alongside the more diverse orchestration of the album, Hannon's voice just doesn't hold up, sounding instead like a pub singer struggling to perform show tunes.

The lyrical humour which made the band's past albums so sweet also seems oddly forced here. The album is primarily driven by storytelling of everyday life, such as the emotional 'When A Man Cries' and the band name-checking 'At The Indie Disco'.

At best, this results in endearing, absurd and hilarious lyrics such as "David Jason, Francis Bacon, Frank Lampard, It's going to take some, Concentration, But all the best

things do." At worst it results in songs like the contrived credit crunch tale 'The Complete Banker' or the sickeningly twee 'Can You Stand Up On One Leg' which ends with Hannon seeing how long he can hold a falsetto note for.

Hannon has clearly tried to progress The Divine Comedy's trademark sound through this album, and has produced a work of undeniably catchy pop songs, which may just win the band the widespread popularity that has always eluded them. However, it's hard not to see that this comes at the price of many of the things which made the band interesting and leaves a record which is pleasant, but oddly empty.

CHRIS HOGG

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n Silico, the Australian band’s Pendulum's second album, sold over a million copies worldwide and catapulted them into mainstream mega-stardom in 2008. As such, you could expect the drum’n’bass artists to follow a similar agenda in their new release. However, for their third studio release, Immersion, Pendulum have moved away from their usual lengthy headbangers, and lean towards shorter, more mainstream songs that retain their trademark heavy beats and punk attitude.

While there is a touch of ‘same old, same old’ with the second track 'Salt in the Wounds', the star of the album is the collaboration with metallers In Flames, 'Self vs. Self'. A tumultuous blend of metal and dance, this track outweighs the disappointment of their less impressive efforts. Another

stunner is 'Immunize', featuring the Prodigy’s Liam Howlett, a steadily building, immersive headb a n g e r that is undoubtedly one of the best tracks but manages only to highlight the weakness of some of the album's other tracks. One example would be the mismatched 'Witchcraft'. Rob Swire's curiously sensitive opening lyrics lead you to question whether he's suffering from PMS and provide a massive contrast with the chaos of the rest of the track. To be frank, it doesn't work.

Despite the occasional let downs, this album provides enough gems to satisfy Pendulum's formidable fan base. However, regardless of the quality of the album, this style of

music will always be a hit at festivals and live shows. Having previously managed several top 10 singles, Pendulum have successfully managed to make a name for themselves with the kind of dance metal crossover that has previously been absent from the mainstream. Immersion is a testament to the group's ability to create songs with bounce and energy, well suited to the dance floor and sweaty moshpits.

LYDIA WINTER

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A STAR IS BORN

TEJA PISK explores the phenomenon of the actor turned popstar

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he road from actor to popstar is risky, yet well worn. Rarely a week seems to go by without some young starlet keen to show the world ‘another side to them’, proudly announcing their plans to branch out into the music industry. As Miley Cyrus seems to edge ever closer to global domination, it is easy to see why a successful film or TV actor might want to cross over into music. Invariably, these decisions, either driven by the promise of financial gain or by a somewhat skewed impression of their own vocal talent, are followed by a lacklustre album with lacklustre reviews that nobody will even bother to download.

It is those to whom the term ‘actor’ can be applied only loosely that are the epitome of this phenomenon. Paris Hilton’s 2006 album, the imaginatively named Paris, is essentially a testament to the power of autotune. Meanwhile over at The Hills another plastic peroxide blonde, Heidi Montag, managed to produce Superficial, an album of mechanical RnB that is almost certainly in contention for most appropriately named album ever. Like Heidi herself it is more machine than soul.

To be fair to the likes of Heidi and Paris, no one expected them to produce seminal albums and both of their efforts achieved respectable if not spectacular sales. However even those with marginally more flair and professional credibility have recently fallen equally flat. Both Lindsay Lohan and Leighton Meester have managed

to produce albums that are about as memorable as, you know, that thing...

With this current trend it is easy to forget that there are actually some extremely successful actor/musician crossovers. In the TV world, Neighbours has proved a hot house for likable mainstream popstars. Amongst their hallowed alumni are such 'couple of hit wonders' as Natalie Imbruglia, Delta Goodrem and Holly Valence. Not to mention Loose Women favourite Jason Donovon and fully fledged pop royalty, the inimitable Ms Minogue. Nonetheless it has to be admitted that the soapstar to popstar road is littered with corpses. All the much grimmer Eastenders has offered us is such musical luminaries as Martine McCutcheon and Anita Dobson.

On the more credible end of the scale are some of the acts that have begun to emerge from the Hollywood Hills themselves. Acts such as Juliette Lewis and the Licks, Zooey Deschanel's She and Him and Jared Leto's 30 Seconds to Mars have produced some genuinely interesting albums. The success of these last few bands seems to rest primarily on the fact that they are fronted by successful indie actors who keep their acting life totally separate from their musical life. Leto, who given his ageless appearance, clearly drinks the blood of virgins in his spare time, is typical in refusing to use his joint career to promote the band and will not play a venue if they have used his name in promotional material.

So it appears that for actors wishing to crossover into a musical career, the choice is either attempting credibility by ignoring your past, or to embrace it and use your famous name as a springboard. Success is guaranteed in neither industry, and there's always the risk that both careers will end up disappear For every Miley Cyrus, there's a Minnie Driver who should stand as a lesson to any greedy wannabe popstars out there.

One last thought: trawling through the dregs of Disney alumni’s finest offerings (whilst researching this article!) did turn up one expected guilty pleasure. Ex-Cheeta Girl Kiely Williams’s trashtacular ‘The Sex Was Spectacular’ is the catchiest thing I’ve heard all year. With lines such as “next thing I knew I was face down, ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off ” it may not be the best example of what actors can accomplish as musicians, but it is certainly the most entertaining.

SURREAL AND WONDERFUL...

Chris Craddock chats to Po' Girl about all things folk

more independently. However, this breath of freedom has not sparked a wild binge from the band. “In truth we've been failing miserably to indulge in any serious decadence. We tour 280 to 300 days of the year - if we trashed our bodies every night we couldn't keep it up!” Their idea of a wild time is running a marathon. "I've done 2 so far it's a high in a class of its own. Self-produced endorphins are highly addictive. We're a band who indulges in morale boosting group outings to Bikram yoga classes and hiking expeditions. Sometimes we drink sparkling water dangerously fast!” Pretty hardcore indeed. As it goes, the band describe a typical Po’ Girl live experience as “lots

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hen people’s minds drift towards the stereotypical sounds of Canada, they conjure up images of Avril Lavigne, Bryan Adams and Celine Dion.

Po’ Girl would like to think that many people's minds will drift instead toward Joni Mitchell, Neil Young and The Band. "We hope to have the kind of longevity and dedication to our craft to rank ourselves alongside them one day.” This goes a long way to explain the music that Po’ Girl produces. They are a colourful combo of blues, country, folk, alternative rock with a touch of jazz all seamlessly rolled into one. The band consists of the main songwriters Allison Russell and Awna Teixeira who are accompanied "by the arranging and instrumental prowess of Benny Sidelinger, and Mikey 'Lightning' August".

However Benny is more than a fellow talented musician but also “he is a fine, fine luthier.” Their complex music is difficult to pin down and many critics have resorted to using the ambiguous label 'urban roots.' This suits Po' Girl fine. “We are certainly products of these urban environments and we're certainly drawing on inspirations from the past, all modern day musicians are to some extent. So yes I'd say urban roots is broad enough and vague enough to encompass us! We're musical mongrels.”

With their fourth album, Follow Your Bliss, to be released in autumn, the band is no novice in the industry anymore, having left their label to pursue their music

We're failing miserably to indulge in any serious decadence of fun, always a different set list, lots of variety to the songs, lots of harmony, many instrument switches between band members over the course of the night. We'll always take audience requests if they're for songs that we've actually written, no script ever... We're a say anything bunch, and great special guests are liable to be involved.” With this demanding tour routine, it can be easily imagined that all the different audiences that Po’ Girl entertain blur into one for the band. Yet, when reflecting on the major differences between UK and American crowds they say “Ireland puts us all to shame - they know how to party!” Lets be honest, who can disagree with that sentiment?

So they produce a unique sound and tour relentlessly through the year. They also somehow find some time to make a guest appearance on

BBC Radio 4’s show called Loose Ends, presented by satirist Clive Anderson. They describe the event as “surreal and wonderful," playing a few tracks and then going off for some dinner with the other guests. This fits exactly into the Po’ Girls' type of humour. The story behind the nickname of their male member Mikey was of especial interest to me. In their casual and cheeky manner Po’ Girl explained that Mikey "was struck by lightning when he was 14 years old and has been a musical prodigy ever since. Before that he was tone deaf and had no rhythm.” I have looked into this. Apparently the effects of lightning have no benefits for musical talent otherwise my guitar teacher would have left me in a thunderstorm with a kite and saved us both a world of pain.

The real charm of the band lies in the mesmeric melodies that lull you into a world of relaxation or raise you up from your seat into a country jig, even though my limbs are devoid of any sort of rhythm imaginable to mankind. Thankfully I am not alone in this opinion. With others giving them rave reviews, Po’ Girl looks set to keep on rocking and I strongly recommend that you get yourself down to a show if for nothing else but to learn what a Dobro and a Gutbucket Bass is and how they play them.

Personally I am going for the return of the slide guitar.

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Students of York Uni Stereo, York

Temper trap

O2 Academy Leeds

11/05/10

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t would have been difficult for anybody to have lived through the last twelve months without hearing The Temper Trap’s anthem, 'Sweet Disposition', a song which for months has been continually played by radio stations across Britain. The four-piece Australian outfit returned to Leeds in May after a successful trip to the Cockpit in 2009. Now, however, they faced a sell-out, 2000strong crowd with much higher expectations after the success of debut album Conditions. These fans were not disappointed.

After a somewhat odd choice of support from the mellow, fellow Australian singer-songwriter, Sarah Blasko, The Temper Trap emerged to an uproar from the expectant crowd, led by energetic front-man Dougie Mandagi. The set consisted

of the entirety of the debut album along with some new material, hinting towards the second album. A personal highlight for me was Mandagi’s perfect vocals, particularly on the a capella number, 'Soldier On'. His uniquely soulful yet falsetto voice resonated throughout the venue, creating a wonderfully emotive atmosphere.

I had worried that the lack of variety may be downfall of this set, as can so easily happen when bands tour with only one album, but the group managed to keep the crowd’s attention throughout the sixty minutes. 'Sweet Disposition' was of course the highlight of the night for many of the fans, including myself.

However, The Temper Trap are more than simply a one-hit indie wonder and 'The Drum Song' stood out as another powerful track which will cement them as a highlight of the festival circuit this year.

The Temper Trap has managed to make a lasting impression on the music scene, against a backdrop of alternative, electro-indie bands which have recently emerged. I would attribute this to their live performances if this show is anything to go by. The question for this band will be if their success can continue after a remarkable debut.

grown-up songs like ‘Coldlips’.

As a finalist in this area for a national competition to get a record deal, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Alice named among the likes of Alessi’s Ark and Laura Marling in the future.

Finally first year music student Josh Savage took the headline slot and started the night with his trademark cheeky charm. I got the impression he could mess up any song and the audience would still love him!

I thought his songs were all going to be a bit jokey at first with ‘Honk’ and ‘Monster Lullaby’, but like Alice, he played some real good stuff. ‘Camilla’ especially, clearly moved many of the audience and showed Josh’s sensitive side. Rather aptly he played ‘1 thing’ with the line "Could I be Prime Minister?"; at the end of the gig, he had the audience in the palm of his hand, so much so that one self proclaimed floating voter, Lydia, said to me, “I reckon he’d make a good Prime Minister.”

JENNIFER HAMMOND

Laura moody

City Screen York 10/04/10

London Brixton Academy

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alking down Gillygate, my friends and I got the sense of walking into the unknown. We were way too deep into York St John territory for our liking. Luckily the bar stuff at Stereo were more than happy to welcome us in and the drinks deals were surprisingly cheap! Two out of three acts were up and coming 1st years, with Rory J starting the night.

Playing covers by Neil Young and The White Stripes, as well as his own material, he was a definite crowd-pleaser. His mash-up of MGMT and Lady Gaga, was a firm favourite. It was obvious Rory has a voice well worthy of the choir and a personality that is sure to be appearing in Central Hall Musicals very soon.

Alice Ostapjuk followed up next with her unique voice and brilliant lyrics. Having seen her only once before, I was surprised to have remembered the words to ‘Raindrops’ and ‘I Don’t Own a Boat’. To be honest, I wasn’t sure about Alice first time I saw her play, but in the last few months she seems to have changed quite a bit and was playing more

ELIZABETH HILL

pavement avement was the definitive slacker band of the 90s and their lo-fi sound and weird lyrics have continued to win them fans. Nonetheless after suffering one of the music’s messier break-ups in 1999, during which lead guitarist and singer Stephen Malkmus handcuffed himself to a microphone stand, Pavement’s first British reunion gig had a lot to prove.

The gig saw a more subdued Malkmus playing from the side of the stage delivering his trademark effortless vo-

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04/05/10

cal and rolling guitar, which he swung in slow arcs during the crashing chorus of ‘Grounded’. However this was more than balanced out by the erratic behaviour of Bob Nastanovich (keyboardist, additional percussion, backing vocalist) who led vocal duties on the shouted insanity of ‘No Life Singed Her’ and ‘Conduit For Sale’ diving across the stage like a cross between a crazed monkey and a drunken relative at a wedding.

The band rattled through a set which managed to walk the fine line between their many crowd pleasers such as ‘Cut Your Hair’, ‘Stereo’, ‘Shady Lane’ and ‘Summer Babe’, and more obscure gems of their five albums worth of material. The dark buzzing of ‘In The Mouth A Desert’ and the thrashing ‘Elevate Me Later’ rang especially loud whilst ‘Gold Soundz’ was electrifying in a night filled with musical highlights.

There was a sort of sadness as Malkmus sang the last line of the final song, ‘Here’, possibly due to the shared knowledge that this might well be a swansong for one of the greatest bands of the last 20 years and also emphasising the need to savour their return to the scene while it still lasts.

CHRIS HOGG

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he annual York Spring Festival of New Music 2010 was held in May and proved to be a worthwhile, well planned event. One of the main headlining acts was Laura Moody, a London based singer and cellist and a York graduate from 1999.

Expecting Moody to resemble the cuddly violin playing singer Seth Lakeman, I was shocked to be confronted by something much more edgy and exciting.

This was my first gig at the City Screen Basement, a very intimate venue that was, if anything, a little too small. Nonetheless the place was rammed and there was a brilliant, anticipatory atmosphere. From the moment Moody took the stage, cello in hand, she had the crowd enthralled.

Her first song ‘Creeping Alopecia’ combined beat boxing and singing whilst she simultaneously accompanied herself on the cello, weaving

17/05/10

chords and melodies with breathtaking skill. Moody used her incredible voice, like an even more demented Kate Bush, to create percussive sounds, at one point imitating a drum machine and even mimicking brass instruments.

In her next song, ‘Oh Mother’, Moody went a step further, hitting her cello with her hands and even hitting her throat with her bow to make the pitch of her voice rise and fall dramatically. Such tics can prove irritating in lesser artists but Moody managed to avoid sounding twee by combining these avant garde techniques with remarkable technical skill creating a hugely inspiring evening.

However, there were occasions when such experimentation took over and the songs became over-cluttered making them overwhelming for the listener. More worryingly, additional noise from the bars next door, Revolution and Orgasmic, could be heard through the walls in The Basement which was very off-putting. Despite this, Moody's performance was immaculate throughout and I highly recommend checking her out if you are at all interested in emerging talent.

TOM MARLOW

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Tim Vine

LISTINGS

Jaime Riley talks to the record-breaking comedian about his tours, faith and the Total Wipeout sweeper...

C

omedian, Christian and Countdown participant; Tim Vine is one funny man who is a little bit different.

A world record holder, Vine knows a fair share of one liners, though luckily his humour far surpasses that of the average, self-rated, hilarious Dad. In May 2004, Vine managed to squeeze four hundred and ninety nine jokes into an hourlong period, beating the previous record of three hundred and sixty two. Since his triumph, the stand-up has toured the country, performed at the legendary Edinburgh festival, as well as appearing on a whole host of game shows, including Countdown, Whittle and Total Wipeout.

"The sweeper on Total Wipeout is the scariest thing I've ever done! I did a gameshow on Channel Five yonks ago called Whittle. My mate John Archer was writing with me and it was just a very happy atmosphere.

We filmed five shows a day and I loved every minute. We all stayed in the same hotel and at the end of each day's filming, about fifteen of us would go back for a meal together. It was great."

It seems that Tim lives a fun and fairly relaxed life - though I'm sure it's very productive.

"I play a lot of darts and normally have some projects on the go. I'm working on a joke book at the moment, and a new stand up DVD. I see my friends as much as I can, do a bit of karaoke and I'm very into the England football team.. I try to get to all their games at Wembley.

I'm also collecting the Panini world cup football stickers.

Out of a possible six hundred stickers, I have collected five hundred and ninety three. Do you know anyone who's got Jermaine Defoe?"

Aside from football, Tim has an interest in music and says his hero is Elvis.

"I'm not an accomplished

drummer. I have one rhythm and 30 different speeds."

It seems that thirty seems to be a favourable number for Tim, since he was rated the thirty sixth best comedian by Channel 4.

"I don't know how they come up with that chart. To be honest it's nonsense because Larry Grayson is not even in the top hundred and some of the people after me are much better comics than I am. The advantage I have is I am currently alive.

Do the top hundred again in a sixty years and I won't be in it at all."

Tim's just completed his Joke-amotive tour which started in January this year.

"The audiences were endlessly lovely! If I had to pick one special night I would plump for Warrington. But, anywhere in this country is great.

Try and do a gig in front of Americans and you'll never complain about anywhere over here again."

Despite travelling around t h e

world, Tim insists that he's low maintenance and that tickling audiences isn't all about being a diva.

"Before shows, I just potter about really. It's fairly relaxed. I might run a couple of the opening sections in my head. The main thing is I'm not very good at is listening to things I'm not interested in just before going on stage. I glaze over easily because my mind is on the act. So if someone tries to ask my opinion of the coalition government five minutes before going on I'll be a bit useless."

Rather than talking about politics and where his political allegiances lie, Tim tells me about his favourite comedians.

"My favourite changes often. Foster Brooks is hilarious.

He pretends to be a drunk. He's no longer with us I'm afraid, but watch his appearance on 'The Don Rickles Roast' on YouTube.

It's wonderful. I know a lot of comics who are very funny, but the nature of the business is that most are not clean so I wouldn't want to recommend something that offends the ears of your readership. Just go and watch Foster Brooks!"

I'm aware that Tim is a Christian, and working in an industry where rudeness and crudeness are the norm, I'm interested to find out how he reacts to this pressure.

"Well my act is silly, so I'm not

QUICKFIRE WITH TIM:

If you could be any superhero who would it be?

I don't want to be a superhero.

All the evidence is it's a lonely job.

Who’s your favourite movie villain?

Jaws the shark.

Favourite Doctor Who? Peter Cushing.

What's your favourite oneliner?

"Velcro - it's a rip off" has served me well...

sure being a Christian affects that. I just write silly stuff t h a t

makes me laugh. I like making people laugh and I feel like that's a good thing to do with my time, so perhaps my faith is wrapped up in that.

My favourite book of all time is The Bible, but I'm reading a great biography of Paul Newman at the moment. Did you know he went to Hampton Court on his honeymoon?!"

MUSIC

SPOTLIGHT

Regan's top 5...

With the World Cup just days away, and the inevitability of a post-tournamentbig-budget epic, here are the five best (or worst) footballing film cameos:

Michael Owen 'Zero to Hero' Ok, it isn’t a film, but Michael Owen’s cameo in the CBBC show Zero to Hero required a new cringe scale. The show – mercifully pulled after six episodes – focused on a troubled child who began talking to his life sized and slightly creepy Michael Owen poster. The eternally crocked striker then inexplicably came to life offering advice and guidance to the kid whilst sending him on wondrous and imaginative adventures, though it was never explained whether Owen was able to watch the boy getting changed.

Vinnie Jones - Various A real life and therefore totally convincing meathead, the former Wimbledon captain has become a fully fledged Hollywood Z Lister since hanging up his boots. This mainly down to his perfection of that most subtle of acting techniques: the "I am gonna fucking kill you stare" – camera focuses to the back of a bald head, hands meanwhile busy on manual labour, some posh boy gives you some gyp, turn round steely eyed until the twat pisses himself. It goes something like that anyway...

Pele – 'Mike Bassett: England Manager' Becoming essential viewing every four years, the story of a hapless domestic based coach (Ricky Tomlinson) is a hilariously deprecating look at England’s chequered world cup history. Amongst the hilarity is a brilliant cameo from Pele, with the masterful Brazilian asked who he thinks will win the World Cup and choosing to list just about everybody but England. On second thoughts, I preferred him on those erectile dysfunction adverts.

Eric Cantona – 'Elizabeth' He is always a natural superstar, as brilliant in front of a camera as he was on the pitch – you even get the sense he was the focal point of his own silver screen story anyway. Having retired, out of the blue, aged just 31, Cantona starred alongside Cate Blanchett and Richard Attenborough in the period drama 'Elizabeth' and actually wasn’t all that bad. He has since directed a number of critically successful French art house films.

Frank Lampard & John Terry - 'Jhoom Barabar Jhoom' Although Jose Mourinho eventually put the brakes on this one it deserved an honourable mention, if only for being downright ridiculous. The Chelsea duo had been pencilled in for a turn in the film focussing on the life of a young fan of the club.

If only this could have happened – imagine this pair of gormless goons busting a move in the end credits of Slumdog Millionaire – that is how I picture it anyway.

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TV

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LISTINGS

(Screen) Size Doesn't Matter...

...or does it? In light of current and future releases, Tom Martin explores the link between TV

"H

ello, I’m a film." "And I’m a TV." "What’s that? Oh, you’re inside me." "Oh dear, so I am."

"Well, get out!" "No, I think you like it."

Such are the ramblings of my mind as I try to wrap it around the relationship between TV and film (and yes, for some reason this relationship involves buggery). Have these two different strains of media become codependent? Or would it be more prudent to say that they are like moths and butterflies: one comes out when the other goes to sleep?

Films have been around a lot longer, but you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone today who spends longer in the cinema than they do on the couch. Films have always boasted bigger budgets and better effects, but many would argue that the gap between production quality in film and TV has been slowly closing for quite some time now, aided by a number of hits like The Wire and Lost. Film, however, is not necessarily the small screen’s adversary - it can also be a friend.

Over the last five years, a growing trend for TV-to-film adaptations has emerged. Take Sex and the City, a show that was finished, accomplished and acclaimed for its conclusion, leaving its fan-base clamouring for more. The franchise was turned into not one, but two films, the latter of which has just been released (see review, opposite). But many have argued that the Sex and the City films are just not good... Where the wit of a thirty-minute cable program used to hide, a bunch of tightened-up old croons march the streets of Manhattan with fewer issues than ‘Katie Price Magazine’ and two and a half hours to whine about them. Film can, quite literally, be the place where TV goes to die. Anyone else remember The Simpsons Movie?

However, this is not always the case.

In 2005, the short-lived TV series Firefly the show about cowboys in space, which for some unfathomable reason got cancelled - was given new life as Serenity, the silver-screen conclusion to the much loved franchise. Unlike SATC, Serenity didn’t make enough to earn a sequel, but it did earn the respect of critics and cinema-goers alike. It also won ‘Film of

Have you seen...?

T

here are few films which so perfectly encapsulate an era as the late Dennis Hopper's Easy Rider.

Made and set in late 60's USA, the film became a counter cultural rallying point and captured the imagination of a generation and it is not hard to see why.

Easy Rider tells the story of two drug dealing bikers named Billy and Wyatt (Hopper and his co-writer, Peter Fonda) as they head out on the highway in an attempt to get from Los Angeles to New Orleans in time for Mardi Gras. The film features some interesting moments in the first half, but then springs to life with the introduction of Jack Nicholson's George Hanson, an alcoholic lawyer who the duo meet in a gaol cell about halfway through the film. It's difficult to pinpoint the exact moment an actor becomes a star, but Nicholson's dialogue, that "this used to be a helluva good country, I can't understand what's gone wrong with it", is prophetic, wise, sardonic, goofy and

the Year’ in Jonathan Ross’ Film 2005. It was the commercial success of SATC that paved the way for upcoming film adaptations of 24, Arrested Development, and The A-Team, but it’s Serenity which gives me the hope that they won’t just be pisspoor versions of their littler selves...

Of course, it was only a matter of time before some executive decided to flip the switch and start making TV shows out of films.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles is probably the most favourable example, having made it two years before getting the chop (Cameron the terminator was no match for the mighty Mr. Fox Networks).

Decisions like this have also resulted in TV shows based on such popular films as 10 Things I Hate About You and Mr and Mrs Smith. Generally speaking, the whole point of a film is that it’s self-contained, whilst the general purpose of a series is to keep you hooked between installments through the use of cliff-hangers and overreaching arcs; this is why switching between the two rarely results in success. What’s next, a film version of Friends? I’d rather watch Joey. A TV series based on Schindler’s List? HBO would commission it. Dear God, I do hope no film exec reads this.

Just like any temperamental couple, TV and Film inspire each other and aid development and maturity (well, sometimes). Their relationship is so young, it’s almost exciting to consider how it’ll develop.

I’ll kill myself if they make a film out of The Hills, though.

Easy Rider nothing short of a star-making turn.

In fact, Easy Rider kick-started the careers of a number of the people involved and the story of its making is almost as inspirational as the film itself. Fonda, Hopper and co-writer Terry Southern took the script to a number of different studios but were turned down. Eventually Columbia agreed to fund the film and Laszlo Kovacs was brought on board as cinematographer. Kovacs, working in widescreen, a relatively new phenomenon at the time, is responsible for many of the incredible shots of the bikers on the road with the ever-changing American landscape behind them.

The soundtrack was originally used as a temporary measure for the first studio screening, as the budget was so low that Hopper could not afford an original soundtrack during the making of the film. Luckily, the executives loved it, the

Charles Rivington

Dir. Dennis Hopper

music was kept in and Easy Rider's soundtrack became one of cinema's most iconic.

All in all, the film is beautiful, and a eulogy of sorts to this already waning lifestyle. The last few moments of the film are tragic, yet sadly inevitable and it is only the camera's slow skywards pan that suggests that Wyatt and Billy's dream of freedom can be kept alive.

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Dir. Michael Patrick King

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the series. SATC2 would have done marvellously as a two-part season (but not series) finale when the franchise was just a humble television show on a premium cable network in the States. With plenty of set-pieces, guest stars and one-liners (the best of which belong to Samantha), the second film is much more in line with the HBO series than the first, and in that sense, it really delivers to the fans it's just not suited to the world of cinema.

And on that note, seeing the girls 'larger than life' reveals a number of truly cringeworthy Lady Gaga-esque fashion choices that would have gone less noticed were the screen not so big. How Carrie got through customs with some of her hats is just ludicrous.

SATC is often materialistic and horrendously upper-class - but it knows it. When asked how a woman could raise her child without the help of a nanny, Miranda admits "I have no fucking idea!" Still, the franchise is outrageously addictive for the fans, and that's what this film is really about. Keeping Carrie's old apartment doesn't really make sense, given that she's married

N

ew York, New York, it's a helluva town. So why leave it?

The problem with Sex and the City 2 is that it's a venture too far some might say in many regards.

The film's plot follows the ladies who wax on a trip to the Middle East, and spends far too much time in the heart of Abu Dhabi. The effects of this journey shoehorn the characters out of their niches. Charlotte becomes the neurotic one, Miranda becomes Charlotte and Carrie becomes Big. Samantha, whose character was ruined in the last film by her relationship with bland-but-hunky Smith, is back on form in SATC2, and all the better for it.

The film has been criticised for being shallow, demeaning to women and even borderline racist. Yet, at the heart of it, something that many a fan wanted from the first installment lies somewhat unnoticed: something that resembles an actual episode from nother successful video-game series is converted to the big screen, this time by Disney.

Jake Gyllenhaal plays Dastan, an orphaned street boy, who after displaying bravery in front of King Sharaman (Ronald Pickup) is raised as a Prince (of Persia) by Sharaman and uncle Nizam (Ben Kingsley). The city of Alamut is believed to be producing powerful weapons for Persia’s enemies (cue topical reference to weapons of mass destruction), thus leading to an invasion by Dastan and his brothers Garsiv (Toby Kebbell) and Tus (Richard Coyle). It is during this invasion that he meets the beautiful, feisty Princess Tamina (Gemma Arterton).

Dastan and Tamina then reluctantly join forces and ‘simply’ have to stop a time-altering dagger (powered via magical sands) falling into the wrong hands.

The Prince of Persia franchise has def-

CULTURE

and moved in with Big, but seeing her at that familiar window, typing at her Mac and looking out as Big comes to pick her up is just the sort of stuff the fans clamour for, and if your average cinema-goer doesn't like it, well, I'm not surprised.

The film's message is pretty simple, and uttered by Carrie quite close to the start - tradition "sneaks in." You can't expect SATC to change for the cinema, and there will always be TV fans who want more of the same, regardless of screen size. And those people are probably reading this in the voice of Sarah Jessica Parker. Come on. We all do it.

Knock two stars off if you don't like the show.

in

Tom

dir.Mike Newell

A

Dir. WERNER HERZOG

LISTINGS

initely been Disney-ified in this film, with avid fans of the games noting its absence of brutal violence and beastlike creatures. Much akin to Pirates of the Caribbean the action scenes are enjoyable, but the plot is weak and predictable and the dialogue so wooden it would make even Hollyoaks seem well-written. The characters also have questionable South-East English accents.

Despite obvious downfalls, the cast is pretty impressive and there are some memorable performances. Gyllenhaal plays an excellent role and demonstrates his acting diversity as the charismatic, warm and feisty Dastan, credibly portraying the gusto of the game character. It does not hurt that he has buffed up either. The acting brilliance of Kingsley is obvious, but you feel somewhat confused by his penchant for eyeliner. Yet, it is Alfred Molina, who plays

rt Ma

PRINCE of Persia a likeable Del Boy-esque character called Sheik Amar, who really shines in this film, injecting some much needed comedy.

Many still sit on the fence about whether game-to-movie adaptations really work, especially after films such as Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life, and Prince of Persia will not change this. Box office takings will probably incline the money men to not give a damn. My advice: if you want some (very) mindless action and a few laughs, go see this movie. But do go in with low expectations.

SARAH GREEN

BAD

LIEUTENANT PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS

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erner Herzog's gloriously wacky Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans is neither a remake nor an homage to Abel Ferrara's 1992 cult classic. I'll confess that I had my doubts about it, imagining that this was going to be some sort of embarrassing sequel that has been imposed on Herzog for some bizarre contractual obligation reason. However I was entirely wrong. This is a Herzog film, a Herzog film with a fantastic cast, especially the gloriously unhinged Nicholas Cage providing a stellar performance of the drug addled cop, Terence McDonagh, on a strange and obsessive rampage.

The story is appropriately set in New Orleans (during Hurricane Katrina's aftermath) and mainly shows what occurs

to good people when bad people prosper. On paper the film may seem to adhere to certain clichés of the genre (the prostitute girlfriend, the father who is an ex-cop now "drinking himself to death", etc.). However Eva Mendes as Frankie Donnenfeld delivers a convincing performance with her character having a totally different plot resolution than you'd expect. Brad Dourif gave a cracking performance as the bookie Ned Schoenholtz, injecting an important slice of normalcy into an otherwise completely crazed world.

One important thing to remember about this film is that it is absolutely not intended to be taken seriously.

Unlike Ferrara's film, which was extremely gritty and dead serious, Herzog's Bad Lieutenant is a very black comedy that seems to get weirder as McDonagh loses more control. To go into this film expecting a typical

cop drama with a dramatic performance by Cage is a recipe for disaster. Also, Herzog deserves a lot of credit; although the screenplay to this film is funny it probably would have fallen too far through the cracks had not someone like Herzog been behind the camera. That's not to say this is a bad screenplay, but the entire investigation and all the side plots are pretty basic - it's thanks to Herzog's vision and Cage's performance that this film will go down as the wacky, over the top ride that it is.

JENNY MCLARNEY

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TELEVISION

Stefan Philpotts reviews TV...

H

ow does one make an already brilliant crime drama even better? By adding bloody Stringer Bell from The Wire as your main character, that’s how! Or at least that's what the BBC thought when it came to their ongoing crime drama, Luther. Sure, as a result of his portrayal of Stringer Bell, one of the gems within the extremely successful The Wire, Idris Elba has suddenly become the coolest person around, popping up in award ceremonies and magazines everywhere. However, the BBC have learned the hard way, that hanging around with the cool kids will only get you so far in life. Neil Cross, creator of Spooks, has presented the recycled story of a detective with a troubled past who can’t be fully trusted by his colleagues due to his recklessness, although his pure genius often wins them over (See Waking the Dead, C ra c k e r , Sherlock Holmes, House). And I can’t really emphasise this last point enough. The man solves one of his cases based on the simple equation of: Doesn’t yawn when I do = Lack of any empathy = EUREKA! She must be the killer!

Based on that logic alone, most of us would be classified as a sociopathic psycho.

And the ridiculousness doesn’t stop there, as by the second episode he seems to have forgotten that this sociopathic psycho murdered her whole family, and instead becomes rather chummy with her, cracking jokes about the old days. Despite this, Luther is still very watchable, in the same sense that many crime dramas are now just as ridiculous. Long gone are the days of "THE BUTLER DID IT!" Instead we are now faced with "THE BUTLER DID IT!.. because years ago his son died in a drink driving accident caused by someone returning from a dinner party that has been held by the victim’s mother-in-law! And did we forget to mention the illegitimate child!?"

LISTINGS

JUST FLICK THIS PAGE...

M

y dissertation is due in 72 hours.

MY DISSERTATION IS DUE IN 72 HOURS. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE IN THIS BLOODY OFFICE???!!!!! Instead of sitting at home writing ten thousand well constructed words about Japanese industrial and agricultural development, I am in a building that boasts a fragrance of eau de sweat and packets of broken biscuits. I haven't actually watched any television programmes, or anything on 4OD, apart from small areas of procrastination where I fumble over to YouTube, watching adverts about thrush or marriage proposals gone wrong or soft pornography. So, instead of thinking of some observational humour in relation to a particular programme that you will no doubt find reasonably stimulating whilst eating a baguette, I WILL be writing anything and everything TV related that comes into my mind first for the next 800 words, so I can leave the room as fast as possible. So strap in... (insert some reference about how this would be witty) etc...

15:41. FRIDAY 4TH JUNE. Haven't you noticed that Doctor Who's new title sequence is weirder and less enjoyable than the last one? I like going on to YouTube and watching videos of people getting their ears cleared out or their backs being realigned. I really don't know why. I THINK I AM A SICK PERVERT. If there is something that you have to do in your life, it is to watch the opening of the CBS Evening News titles in America. Literally, there is Morgan Freeman, and the most panoramic zoom, and it's all in HD. I play it over and over again.

It. is. AMAZING. When I went to New York last year, I bumped into a newscaster whilst on a tour of NBC Studios. I had no idea who she was, but one other woman on the tour came and touched my hand and said, "you touched her."

IT DIDN'T FEEL WEIRD AT THE TIME. I have no idea about what I am putting into the image on the right here, so I've decided on childhood hero and all round legend, Lizo. He is so tall in real life!

So now you know. The fact that you have got this far in reading this article has meant that you know stuff that people who are

flicking through this page right now DO NOT KNOW. Just to emphasise this world of utter cocking secrets, did you know that I actually type into the space of the actual page as I am writing my article, and I don't copy and paste it in as everyone else seems to? I just delete what was there before. I haven't actually changed the formatting in all of the TWENTY FIVE television articles that I have written for this page. You see that TV on the top right hand corner of the page? Hasn't changed since the second spring issue in 2008. FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. I'd better get back to TV now before the Editors tell me off.

Why is it that, as I live in Badger Hill, I have to deal with the news for the North East and Cumbria, when someone in Tang Hall can just get BBC Yorks and Lincs? I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE STATE OF MINES IN THE NORTH EAST! No-one watches Neighbours anymore?

Two and a half years ago I used to have a column about the latest happenings in Neighbours because I actually thought people cared. Ha! Is Harold actually dead again? They keep changing the opening titles, and the only thing that I can tell is that they are all bland Australian girls with even duller accents. I actually once thought that Channel 5 was an exciting channel when I was in my youth. My grandma caught me jumping in my room counting down to the launch of the channel containing a musical number by the

Spice Girls, and told me to switch it off. I actually feel a little bit of hurt every single time that I think about it. YET THE SPICE GIRLS ARE SO SHIT. I really think the man who does the voiceover for 'Dave' should get a life. He thinks he is so cool, but all he does is introduce Top Gear.

My teeth are hurting. I have officially fallen in love with the Pick and Mix in Your:Shop but now officially my lower teeth hurt whenever I chew into a banana, and whatever you do don't get the heavy toad in the compartment because it ADDS A LOT OF WEIGHT. Don't you find it amazing that MARY POPPINS is on iPlayer? I used to watch it religiously in my youth, but we had it videotaped from the BBC and the first few minutes were cut off because my mum missed the start. This means that every time I see the start I don't know what on earth is going on until there is the song about 'Votes for Women' so then I get so excited a little bit of wee nearly comes out. The best video recording I ever recorded was of Blade Runner but because I was five I wrote Bladder Runner instead. Isn't childhood amazing? In fact when I was younger I wanted to be either a television presenter or a road planner. I used to draw lines on pieces of paper to design roads and then for no reason stick them behind the piano. My mum then decided to give the front room a new coat of paint so moved the piano and I was grounded for two weeks.

In fact lets all have a shoutout to Emily Hodges who works at Your:Shop. She'll love this. In the news I always get a little bit hot and bothered when I see them talking about the FTSE. I thought that people who wants to know would already know about this.

However, I know the location of the currency chart in every single national newspaper because if I read it than rather see it on the TV I get genuinely excited that the pound against the dollar has gone up a wee wee wee wee wee wee bit. I have to go now and I don't give a rats ass what you think.

16:50. BOO YAH.

scott bryan

The Screen Grabs by Nicola chapman

Gok decides that he'd rather stangle himself than carry on with the show.

They called her 'Hurricane Lungs'. One puff was all it took for Janet Jackson to cause total destruction.

Some girls get all the luck..

MUSIC SPOTLIGHTFILM MUSIC FILM

TV TV

FUNDAMENTALS

1) Customisation

I LOVE this when it comes to games.

It always gives a sense of individuality, when there's a way to play the game differently to others, making the Custom Robo series a dear favourite. PokĂŠmon is the textbook example, but customised content isn't only for RPGs, as Little Big Planet and the Need for Speed games point out. Changes actually have to affect the gameplay though - who cares if I can give my main character new shoes if it doesn't make him run super-fast?

2) Original Soundtracks

It might not be much, but I really appreciate it when games go to lengths of composing an entire musical score for the experience. High-profile publishers like Atlus often release soundtrack CDs alongside the game itself (which I tend to collect...). On the other hand, games that just use the current Top 40 for their listings just smack of laziness, and don't age well. The music to FIFA 2005 doesn't sound so hot now, huh? This is also true for music and rhythm games. The track listings of Guitar Hero and Rock Band feel so limited, and after a few releases, decent available tracks start becoming scarce (isn't that right, Guitar Hero 5 and Green Day Rock Band?). DJ Hero's songs were mixed especially for the game, and it's a massive step in the right direction.

BOOKS BOOKS

The term is almost over, and Summer is here! Get in the know on what to play on your holiday, as Nathan Blades previews the games demoed at the May London MCM Media Expo.

Super Mario Galaxy 2

Samurai Shodown Sen

Nintendo - Wii

SNK - 360

D

espite looking and feeling very similar to its predecessor, meeting (and even exceeding) its predecessor's quality is no bad thing. While motion controls still haven't proved superior to a joypad, a new style of gameplay progression, play styles, and Yoshi-based stages (which are a complete joy to play, by the way) are more than enough to warrant another trip to the Galaxy. However, even with all the new content, some of the bosses and stages are re-used. Your mile may vary on how much of a problem that might be for you.

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revival of an arcade classic of the same name (yes, 'Shodown' is the correct spelling), brought to 3D, and plays a lot like Soul Calibur, almost a little too much. Aside from the cast of fighters, it doesn't feel much like its predecessors. The calligraphic art style of the menus and backgrounds is beautiful - just like Okami - but the 3D is considerably less impressive.

Blur

Sin and Punishment: Star Successor

Activision - 360/PS3/PC

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ario Kart may corner the multiplayer racing market on Nintendo systems, but Activision's attempt for the hi-def consoles is a real stunner. Boasting all the real-world locations and cars to please the realistic racing enthusiast, but the fun controls and colourful power-ups you blast your foes with checks all the boxes for a wonderful arcadey drive. With both local and online multiplayer, what's not to like?

No More Heroes 2: Deadly Struggle

4) Boss Battles

This can make or break a game for me. These days more and more games in genres that originally featured a decent number of boss battles are putting out less and less. I can understand why they aren't so numerous - bosses a r e upgraded enemies, ensured to be bigger, badder, appear much less frequently (usually only once when you're talking about games that don't rely on palette swaps like some older games would), and thus require a bit more time and effort on the programing side. However, that doesn't stop me from LOVING boss battles. I love games like Megaman, where you are guaranteed at least several awesome bosses, or games (that are much rarer) like Alien Soldier for the Genesis, which is essentially just a big boss rush game. Over 30 bosses!!!

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Summer Release Previews

3) Local Multiplayer

Once upon a time, games consoles didn't have access to the Internet, and multiplayer gaming had never been more social. Anyone with an N64 has fond memories playing Mario Kart, Goldeneye, or even Mario Party all night with mates. But now that consoles have integrated Internet, a lot of games publishers have deemed local multiplayer inferior to playing with unknowns. Sure that's fun and has its place, but buying a game with the intent to play with friends, and then realising that the only multiplayer mode is online is a real kick in the teeth. The Wii has managed to keep local multiplayer in most of its games, which I have to respect - although that probably says a lot about the quality of its online services...

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Sunshine Gaming:

FOUR GAMING

Video games have all kinds of features and quirks to hit the target audience or be a unique beast, but some are far better than others.

Nathan Blades looks at 4 of his favourites.

Game developers take note!

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Grasshopper Manufacture - Wii

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he Quentin Tarantino of video games, Goichi Suda fills his games with a bizarre twist of genre parodies, crazy plots, and odd gameplay directions. Streamlined from the original, you play as an American otaku (that's a 'Japanese fanboy' to you and me) with a beam-katana; once the #1 ranked assassin in the US until he retired to watch anime and wrestling DVDs. The combat is extravagant and bloody, and a must play for fans of hack 'n' slash games, or even the nerdy in general.

Nintendo - Wii

equel to an N64 oddity not released in Europe (until it appeared on the Wii's Virtual Console), Treasure is known for crazy arcade-style gems and this promises all the weird bosses, nonsensical plot and Bullet Hell you could ever want. Playing as a pre-teen with the ability to fly and packing a pistol capable of mass destruction, you speed around deadly locations to save the world. It's rock-hard, though, even when you call in a second player.

Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage Koei - PS3

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oei is already famous for the Dynasty Warriors series, and it now brings the 80's anime classic Fist of the North Star to the Dynasty Warriors' genre - and more interestingly, the 3rd dimension.

The transition to 3D has not always been a success for some series (As Pacman and Castlevania have demonstrated), but it works excellently here, both in gameplay and aesthetics.

There's co-op play too, so you can punch faces in with a friend. If you've not seen the series before, this might persuade you to give it a watch, if only for its ridiculous opening. YOU WA SHOCK!

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Books News...

GREAT EXPECTATIONS? FOLLOWING the success of Becoming Jane and Bright Star, Charles Dickens is to be the next literary figure to undergo the Hollywood treatment.

The film titled The Invisible Woman is to be adapted for screen from the biography of the same name,

by Claire Tomalin.

It will chronicle the secret love affair

between Charles Dickens and the young actress Nelly Ternon which went on for fifteen years.

The BBC Films production is expected to introduce the world to Dickens' illegitimate love child, throwing caution to all notions of historical accuracy.

The two actors currently touted for the role of Dickens are Ben Wishaw (Brideshead Revisited, Bright Star) and Daniel Day-Lewis. Neither actor has commented on their potential involvement with the project.

The film is yet to go into production.

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODELLAND

TYRA Banks, discontent with her lucrative slice of the reality TV market and fashion industry, is branching out to make her mark on the publishing industry.

Her offering, Modelland is said to be for "all the girls and guys who want a lot more FANTASY in their lives". The emphasis is Banks' own.

Although Banks is keeping much of the plot tightly under wraps, in a recent letter to fans she revealed that the story will follow a group of

teenagers who are unwittingly sucked into 'Modelland'; fierceness ensues.

The ANTM judge has expressed hopes that Modelland will be a story that everyone will fall in love with.

Given that the plot appears to revolve around 'Intoxibellas' who are "kick-butt fierce", her hopes may be deemed a tad optimistic. Without even a hope of a cameo appearance by noted fashion photographer Mr. Nigel Barker, this is one book whose future is, at best, uncertain.

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TEJA PISK gives you the latest scoops from the publishing industry

LICENCE TO THRILL THE Fleming Estate are to continue with the production of' Bond-style literature, after Sebastian Faulks' last creation became Penguin's fastest selling hardback novel of all time. It's been two years since Faulks resurrected the written element of the Bond franchise, writing in the style of Ian Fleming to produce Devil May Care. Faulks was, however, reluctant to produce another Bond story, despite its immediate success, and so the mantel has now been passed on to Jeffery Deaver, the American author of numerous bestselling thrillers. It has been reported that

Bond is set to visit several international locations in a contemporary setting, though all other details are being tightly guarded. The book is currently known as 'Project X'.

TO RESURRECT A MOCKINGBIRD TO celebrate the 50th anniversary of To Kill a Mockingbird's publication, more than fifty commemorative events are scheduled for the summer months. In Santa Cruz, volunteers are set to re-enact every word and movement from the courtroom scene whilst over in Monroeville, Alabama, residents decked out in 1930s garb will read aloud memorable passages from the text.

HarperCollins, the publisher of the novel, is helping to organise parties,

film screenings, readings and academic debates, spurred on by the hope that the events will encourage more sales of the book. Four new editions of the book are to be released next month, each with a new cover and all to be displayed on Mockingbird-themed floors.

Harper Lee, the reclusive 84 year old author of To Kill a Mockingbird is not expected to be in attendance at any of the events.

a new dimeNsion T

he time has now come for the world to take note of the graphic novel. No longer should comics be viewed as an excuse for grown men to read 'books with pictures'; the modern comic is literature occupying a different form.

For several decades, artists and writers have been pushing the boundaries of the comic book, including Will Eisner, Art Spiegelman, Marjane Satrapi, Alan Moore, Alison Bechdel, or Daniel Clowes. Yet most are still entirely unheard of, emerging only in the credits of films made in their honour. Rather than skimming through six hundred page novels in search of enlightenment, why not try one of the following?

The Flight anthologies are a good introductory comic and give a good idea of what's on offer in the world of comics. Edited by Kazu Kibuishi, they are light-hearted and have many entrancing stories that span mere pages before snapping into something new. Another lighthearted read is Aya by Marguerite Abouet. Set in the Ivory Coast in the 1970s, the series centres on Aya as she encounters ironies, calamities and touching humour.

You cannot help but feel fondness for every single character, as such care has been taken in forming their personalities and quirks.

Many modern graphic novels are reflective biographies of the authors' own experiences and one example of this is Blankets, by Craig

Thompson. It is a revealing account of Thompson's journey to early adulthood as he fights against his Christian fundamentalist upbringing. The comic spans across his close-minded town, the struggles dealt to him in experiencing his first love and his emerging artistic talent.

Similarly there is Persepolis

by Marjane Satrapi, an autobiography of life growing up in Tehran amid political upheaval that has absorbing insights and a engrossing summary of Iran's recent history.

Graphic novels with a darker theme include the Neil Gaiman's Sandman series. While occasionally disturbing, they represent a cornucopia of tremendous ideas, myths, anti-heroes, and quests. The series is one of those rare delights that would be entirely unfilmable, yet works beautifully in comic book form. Then there is Maus by Art Spiegelman, recounting the experiences of the artist's parents, who survived the concentration camps and emigrated to America. Using the device of portraying the Jews as mice, and the Nazis as cats, the comic portrays both the Holocaust, and its aftermath, and is harrowing and cathartic.

And then there is the downright unexpected, including Logicomix by Apostolos Doxiadis, which is a graphic biography of Bertrand Russell, or Tamara Drewe by Posey Simmonds. It borders on chick-lit, yet is based upon Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy. Soon to

be released as a film, Far From the Madding Crowd talks of a woman returning to her home village, after a dramatic change of appearance. She proceeds to wreak havoc on her neighbours.

It is no longer necessary or even correct to think of the Beano when comics are mentioned, so open your mind to the possibilities of visual literature!

TABI JOY

FLASH FICTION! Ernest Hemingway once remarked that one of the best stories that he ever wrote consisted of just six words: 'For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.' However, for this Flash Fiction competition you are allowed up to 150 words to tell a story. The three best entries will be published in the Books section in the next edition of Vision.

Send your 150 word stories to books@ yorkvision.co.uk The closing date is 21/06/10

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RATED READS O

n February 13th, 1945 British and US bombs fell on the non-military German city of Dresden, killing 130,000 people.

Held in Dresden as a prisoner of war at the time of the bombings it took Kurt Vonnegut more than 20 year to write about the experience.

And write he did.

Vonnegut's indescribable writing style is in full display in Slaughterhouse 5: absurdism, black humour, memoir and science fiction are just a selection of the genres drawn upon.

The bombing itself is barely mentioned, Vonnegut circles around the issue in a

dizzying narrative that skips backwards and forwards in time, following the tale of Billy Pilgrim, who himself has come unstuck in time following his abduction by the philosophical aliens, the Tralfamadorians.

From his night sessions at Optometric school, his service as a hapless foot soldier in World War Two, his containment as a specimen in a Tralfamadorian Zoo and his later attempts to live a semblance of a life, Billy Pilgrim’s story is at times hilarious, at times brutally raw.

Musing on mortality, war and massacre, Vonnegut suceeds in creating an antiwar novel that wears its message lightly.

There are no heroes in Slaughterhouse 5 and there are certainly no glorious deaths. So it goes.

Find it: JB Morrell MB 83.9 VON

TEJA PISK

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ritten by Thomas Pynchon, Mason and Dixon is a sprawling epic that charts vast continents, from Britain to South Africa to America, and recounts the story behind the two astronomer-surveyors that have been charged with the task of forming a boundary between Pennsylvania and Maryland. Written in the style customary to the time in which the book is set, it makes for a thoughtful read, and standing at over seven hundred pages, is probably for the committed reader. Yet it is utterly delightful, with great warmth and a sly wit that runs throughout the proceedings. It suc-

cessfully humanises a fragment of history that risks being shelved as a stale encyclopaedia entry, drawing the reader in to clearly perceive what life could once have been like. There are brilliantly executed details that bring the story alive, such as when Mason is almost crushed at a cheese-rolling event, or when a valuable watch is eaten by a madman, or a mechanical duck comes to life and charges a chef with finding her lover... It is undeniable that it borders upon the edge of the fantastical, which some may disapprove of in a work of historical fiction, but here the ridiculous merges with the sublime to create a truly outstanding and rewarding piece of work that is well worth the effort of reading, even if you never reach the end.

Find it: JB Morrell MB 83.9 PYN TABI JOY

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eceiver of the Whitbread Book of the Year in 1998, Behind the Scenes at the Museum is the truly remarkable debut novel from Kate Atkinson.The narrative is placed in the hands of Ruby Lennox who, from the moment of her conception in 1951 acts as a curious omniscient narrator, documenting episodes from the lives of her forebears while remaining oblivious to the tragedy that has shaped her own life.

Spanning from the Victorian period to late 20th Century Eng-

land, Ruby provides an evocative and thought provoking insight into the lives, loves and losses of four generations of women. Loss is a recurring theme throughout the novel, something one would expect from a narrative that covers events as the two World Wars.

The gentle indifference of the narrator, however, lends the numerous deaths a tragi-comic element that adds to the overall emotional impact of the novel.

Behind the Scenes at the Museum is written in the present tense, an authorial touch that gives the assorted vignettes that make up the novel a peculiarly haunting power, a power that ensures the novel will stick with you for weeks to come.

Coming in at under 400 pages it is not too much of a commitment and is a book you can dip in and out of with ease perfect for lazy summer days.

TEJA PISK

N IO T A IS N O R T A P & E ID PR the female RACHEL PRONGER questions Chick-Lit

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here are many things about a woman’s glossy that can be demoralising. Flicking past endless photos of glistening Amazonian super women, disgustingly glamorous celebrities and clothes you can’t afford can be crushing, but these hallmarks are key to the appeal of these magazines. Magazines are essentially lifestyle porn, a fantasy that millions of women (including myself) buy into for a bit of fluffy escapism. Yet as much as I love to gaze at photoshopped perfection, there is one section of virtually every glossy that I am unable to read without wincing: the books section.

The coverage of books in magazines such as Cosmopolitan and Glamour is understandably cursory and tokenistic (no one buys a magazine with Cheryl on the front for the literature). The fact that there’s a book section at all should probably be celebrated. What I find so frustrating, however, is the way in which your typical half page of brief reviews can be so insulting. Such reviews are exclusively dedicated to anaemic, patronising Chick-Lit. Of course, a little escapism is no bad thing.

After a day of dry text books, a trivial read can be good fun. I suspect that even the most hardboiled academics sometimes find that when lounging on a beach somewhere in the Mediterranean, a light read is relaxing.

What irritates me is the way these cheap, Jane Austen knockoffs are the only novels ever to grace the pages of said magazines. The insinuation is that the only reading material our fluffy pink brains can cope with

media's obsession with

is a formulaic, romantic comedy nicely glitzed up with shiny shoes and a Mr Darcy type to distract us from the long scary words.

The problem with the assumption that a light read must equal reductive Chick-Lit is that a book doesn’t have to be patronising to be fun. There are loads of

Glossies and chick-lit: a match made in hell? interesting and entertaining books that don’t subscribe to Chick-Lit rules. David Nicholls’ One Day is a brilliant romantic comedy that doesn’t condescend, telling the

story of a romance by focusing on the same day every year. Maggie O’Farrell writes sensitive romantic novels, such as After You Were Gone, that don’t fall back on insipid platitudes. These novels are witty, gripping and romantic without being twee or insulting. Most importantly, they portray believable female characters, a change from the shallow Carrie Bradshaws caricatures that seem to have become the norm.

Women’s glossys are typically written by. and aimed at, educated, professional young women. The people that work on them are likely to have degrees and to be widely read. So why reduce all literature aimed at women to books with titles such as A Spring Fling and Shoe Addicts Anonymous? It’s insulting, it’s patronising and it feeds women an endless stream of syrupy sentimentalism that does us no favours. Books such as these perpetrate the same myths about romance and relationships as lazy Jennifer Aniston vehicles do in the cinema. Chick-Lit initially suggested a chance for the intelligent working women to get a mainstream literary voice but instead has failed to portray women as anything more than obsessive shoe fanatics. Hundreds of years after Jane Austen first wrote about relationships, fiction aimed at women still hasn’t moved past the idea that the only way to a happy ending is marriage.

And what’s so great about staid Mr Darcy anyway?

Give me someone with a decent sense of humour and Efe's on speed dial any day.

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There's a New Gallery In Town...

Louisa McLellan tells us about the newest addition to York's growing art scene

Diving Into Dali Hannah Watters tells us a bit about the current exhibition

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was very intrigued to visit a new gallery space in York - especially a commercial gallery that isn’t purely catering for tourists, with picturesque vistas of the city, as seen around the Minster. When entering Bar Lane Studios I wasn’t disappointed.

The sense of space and vast white walls gave the impression of an upmarket London gallery, whilst the exhibition of such a high profile artist as Salvador Dali was an additional, pleasant surprise. The exhibition 'Salvador Dali: original signed prints' consists of a variety of etchings, drypoints and lithographs that have been hand signed by Dali. I have to admit a bias now: I often enjoy the etchings and

was more aware of, with the colours and figures more reminiscent of a children’s illustrator than the challenging surrealist. Though the price range (from £450 to over £3,000) makes purchasing from the gallery out of most student budgets, it is still an interesting and stimulating exhibition and is definitely worth a visit.

prints of artists more than their more respected works, for their ability to develop and experiment with ideas in a more personal and free way than within paintings. To get to see etchings by Dali, an artist who appears so bizarre in his works that a more personal glimpse into his mind could prove unnerving, was an exciting prospect.

The sinister aspects of his thoughts were shown in the work 'Nude at the Fountain' (1967) where a woman stands limply with ants covering her face and crawling along her body, enveloping her. This creates a sense of fear that reflects the terror he had of swarms of locusts as a child, a theme within his works. This work is compared on the opposing wall to 'Noah’s Ark' (1975) where soft, ice-cream colours are used to represent a comparatively serene scene of Noah releasing the Dove. The soft colours and simple image is startlingly different to the stereotypical Dali I

The Salvador Dali Exhibition is at Bar Lane Studios until 23.06.10

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he Bar Lane Studios stands next to Micklegate, opposite Monty’s Bar, and uses the old Sony Shop for its main gallery space.

However, this space is now unrecognisable. The ceiling has been raised so even more light floods in through the huge glass windows, and the whitewashed walls create a beautiful gallery environment. Ben Clowes is the driving force behind this artistic project, and in a recent interview said: “It’s something for the whole community to be proud of...

Graduates of Yorkshire will be given facilities to support their talents, and established artists will be able to use the creative space to enhance their collections and come up with inspiring work.”

The space has been set up with the help of York St. John, York Science Council and York City Council, and also contains a community café, on the walls of which anyone can hang a piece of art for £10 a month. It also shelters various studio spaces for aspiring artists in York. The creators also hope to set up a range of classes for the public, from life drawing to jewellery design, photography to printing, as well as making use of their Apple Mac suite with courses from teenagers, beginners or experts.

They will continually hold a range of free exhibitions.

The gallery opened

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with an exhibition

by John Squire (the ex- guitarist for the Stone Roses, and also responsible for some of their cover art), called 'Structural Violence', and have now a Dali print exhibit (reviewed below). Next will be an exhibition by Edwyn Collins, who since suffering a brain haemorrhage has drawn a bird everyday to aid his recovery.

These main exhibitions set out to be interesting and add a new exciting element to York’s ever-growing art scene, with the exhibitions more edgy than the York City Gallery. However, I think the more important thing is the cheap studio space it provides. It's hard to start off as an artist, and this environment will hopefully allow the new art graduates of York to have a good start. The café gallery will also support local artists with the no commission sales and small hanging fees - the Bar Lane Studios is hoping to help any artists they can. Hopefully the Bar Lane Studios will continue to gain support and grow in the future.

I would strongly advise keeping your eyes on this space.

Pop in and look at the gallery next time you are in town - the people who work there are extremely friendly and willing to chat about the aim of the space, or details of the classes, if you have any questions.

www.barlanestudios.com enquiries@barlanestudios.com 01904 635 563

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A summer you'll never forget Maryja Morrison tells us how to boost our CVs whilst getting invovled in another culture this holiday

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dmit it: as students we are con tinually on the & Newcastle dioceses, and includes a six-wee lookout for ways to get free food k overseas , to pay less, to placement with one of their partners. The plac travel more and (perhaps not ements so much as the provide the opportunity to get valuable first others), boost our CVs. At the moment, most of us are peri -hand exence whilst lear ning more about the frantically looking for work dur life-changing ing the summer to get work that 'Step the Gap' and their part a little bit of dough for the com ners do, overseas. ing year (or perhaps to If spor ts are more to your liking, how pay last year's debts) However, ever, they are alfor those who haven’t yet way s looking for new fundraisers secured that perfect job or that to take part in activiperfectly priced holiday, ties like the Great North Run or don't despair - Vision brings you the Jane Tomlinson the art of ‘self-benefi- York 10K (this year's run is on the 1st cial volunteering’! The foolproo August 2010). f way to gain skills and Ever thought about WWOOF-ing experience for the old CV, and ? WWOOF is a memperhaps even get the op- bers hip charity, teaching people abo portunity to travel a little... and ut organic growing most definitely enjoy a and low-impact lifestyles through reel of freebies! Here are just hands-on experience a few options... in the UK. The name stands for Have you ever thought about ‘World Wide Opportunivolunteering for a ties on Org anic Far ms’ and the charity offe charity? Why not consider wor rs just that: king for CAFOD? It is the chance to flit from one organic the official overseas developm ent agency of the Cath- farm to another, living there for olic Church in England and Wal es and is also part of free, in exchange for your labo Caritas International. What’s ur. on offer? They can of- And all for a nominal member’s fer you a range of opportuniti es such as work in their join ing fee of £2, which lasts for York based office as an Office or Media volunteer or as one year. After you've paid, you're a Schools volunteer. You can volu nteer for a few hours entitled to view a list of contacts a week or a couple of days. The y offer training and re- who offer free accommodation in imburse out of pocket expense s. If you are interested in retu rn for work. When in comtaking action, then supporting their campaigning work mun ication with one of the might be more suitable. They campaign on behalf of hosts, you can then discuss the climate issues both locally and internationally and are kind of activities you will have always after help and support . Got more than a sum- the option of taking part in, mer to spare and fancy travellin g? If you are looking what sort of accommodation is for a longer term commitment their 'Step into the Gap' on offer and also the length of project could enable you to spen d a year working with your stay. Ranging from a low a youth ministry team in eith er Lancaster or Hexham imp act woodland settlement

Ballet p

oints in

Maryja M

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a new d

irection

orrison disects t he eclect showing ic ballet at the Th eatre Ro yal fter fran ti

to a 600 hectare mixed-holding with on-site farm shop, café and education centre, thes e hosts (as their website kindly reminds us), "do not expect you to know a lot about farming when you arri ve, but they do expect you to be willing to lear n and able to fit in with their lifestyle." In addition to the 400 sites in the UK alone, there are also WWOOF organisa tions in many other countries. You must pay the nati onal WWOOF membership fee however, in each of the countries in which you want to ‘wwoof ’. So do somethi ng different and exciting this holiday. Embrace the idea of self-beneficial volunteering and get something back for the effort you put in. Be daring and bag an entry for your CV that no one else yet has!

Interested? To work with 'Ste p the Gap', contact Carol Cross (Middlesbrough Co-ordinator) on ccross@cafod.org.uk, 01904 671767, or arrange to visit her at her office on: 54 Blossom Street, York.

You can also visit www.cafod.org.uk/c ampaigns To enquire about WWOOF farming, just click onto www.wwoof.org.uk.

sed as

men? “Dres r u o e ik l e How do w women!”

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MUSIC

SPOTLIGHT

FILM

TV

GAMES

BOOKS

20 QUESTIONS

LISTINGS

Robin Ince is an English comedian and a writer, famous for his appearances on 'The 11 O'Clock Show' and 'Richard & Judy'. He also starred in 'The Office', where he played a failed interviewee. Robin has supported Ricky Gervais on tour and also won the 'Time Out' Award for Outstanding Achievement in Comedy in 2006. Robin has an avid interest in Science and has organised many events celebrating Science, working alongside Richard Dawkins and Simon Singh.

Robin Ince Interview by Jaime Riley

I hear in the past you’ve fancied yourself as a bit of a singer.. who are your musical heroes?

Nick Cave, David Bowie, Morrissey, and Johnny Marr.

You have a big interest in Science - did you always want to be a comedian?

From the age of ten I wanted to be a writer, and stand up is a pretty good vehicle for making sure your written ideas, at least, get spouted.

I could never have been a scientist, as I am too stupid and too easily distracted. I don’t have the patience for experiments with waves and particles.

What are your pre-performance routines and demands?

About ten minutes before the gig I think, “Oh no, I need to go to the toilet again".. that’s it really.

Who’s your favourite comedian?

John Hegley or Rik Mayall.

When you aren’t on tour, what do you get up to?

I run around a park with my two year

CULTURE

old son singing songs with nonsense words.

Which region are the easiest to get a laugh out of ?

I’m not sure I can narrow it down – I enjoy most of the places I play. I have a soft spot for Manchester though.

Can you recommend an up-andcoming comedian to Vision readers?

No, they are all rubbish. I don’t need any competition from young people, though Sean Walsh is pretty good.

What would have to happen for you to change something controversial in your act?

I would have to realise that the tears I'd caused would outweigh the point of the joke..they could be the audience’s tears or mine.

What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?

I was a little disconcerted when I tore some tendons out of my hand, when I was three.

Who’s your favourite character on ‘The Office’ and why?

Stuart Foote of course - the much underrated blink-or-you’ll-miss-himcharacter that I played.. I still get payments of £2.73 for sales to Bulgaria.

Who was the least friendly celebrity you've ever met?

Piers Morgan, fortunately. (This is actually true).

What’s the best book you’ve ever read?

Narrow it down to one? 'Hangover Square' by Patrick Hamilton, or 'Nausea or The Trial' or 'The Beast in Man' or 'Bee Season' by Myla Godlberg or ..

What’s the one thing that you couldn’t live without?

I’d find living without my glasses tricky.

If you could be any superhero who would it be?

Cyclops from X-Men. What would you like to be remembered for most?

For not being a total bastard!

You perform regularly at festivals; what is your festival

highlight?

When I performed an impromptu musical about giant killer crabs with Robyn Hitchcock at Latitude, and doing a gig behind a tree at end of the road.

What's your favourite sort of music?

My favourite band are The Smiths.

If you stumbled across a time machine, what would you do?

I am wary of time travel. I am bound to go back in time, tread on a butterfly, and return to discover that that one action means the course of time has been changed and the earth is now ruled by zombie caterpillars.

You’ve got to be careful when you’re mucking around with the fabric of time.

Favourite Doctor Who? Tom Baker Vision or Nouse?

Nouse [Editor: not a total bastard after all then...]

PICKS OF THE WEEK TUESDAY 8

FRIDAY 11

LA LA LUNA

DAN LE SAC V SCROOBIUS PIP

York Theatre Royal 19:00/£5 NUS A whimsical and hilarious tale of the moon’s caretaker as he struggles to re-light the darkened moon, LaLaLunais circus, clown theatre and film woven together with a poetic and comic physical language all of its own. Physical theatre at its finest.

The Duchess £12.50 adv/£14 door

The hip-hop duo are taking to The Duchess stage on Friday with their melodic rhymes and provocative lyrics. You even get into Up the Racket for free afterwards so don't miss out.

DEAR SUPERSTAR Fibbers £7 adv/£9 door

Dear Superstar bring back the sleaze and grit of the 80's Sunset Strip vibe. They've just supported Bullet For My Valentine on their

UoY CONCERT JAZZ ORCHESTRA Jack Lyons Concert Hall 19:30/£3 NUS

Jazz standards, big band classics and more make up this celebration of jazz at its finest.

MONDAY 14 TAKE THE STAGE

York City Screen Basement 19:00/£2 NUS A fortnightly Open Mic to showcase those with the creative buzz.

For any kind of performer- poetry, comedy, musings, music, monologue and miscellaneous! Guest headliners, up-n-comers and first-timers meet in the chilled surroundings of The Basement to take the stage!

If you would like a slot, arrive early or email takethestageyork@gmail. com.

THURSDAY 17 HOCKEY

Fibbers/£11 adv Hockey are compared to the likes of LCD Soundsystem and The Strokes.

They're set to play Summer festivals including the Isle of Wight, Wireless and Latitude. They're hitting Fibbers for an intimate show.

Scenesters

SUNDAY 27

Scene Editor

THEDUCHESS RECORD FAIR

Music Editors Chris Craddock Rachel Pronger

The Duchess 10:00 - 16:00/Free Entry

Jaime Riley

Deputy Music Lydia Winter

Film Editors Tom Martin Jenny McLarney Dealers from across the country will be at York's indie venue selling music items of all genres, along with specialist memorabilia and autographs. There will be listening booths so you can try before you buy, guest DJ performances..and the bar will be open all day.

TV Editor Scott Bryan

Games Editor Nathan Blades

Books Editors Tabi Joy Teja Pisk

Culture Editors Louisa McLellan Maryja Morrison