Issue 244

yorkvision.co.uk

Vısıon YORK

10.06.14

THE UK’S MOST AWARDED STUDENT NEWSPAPER

ISSUE 244

EXCLUSIVE

CANOE BELIEVE IT?

PAGES 6&7

8-PAGE GOALSIDE SPECIAL INS IDE

EXCLUSIVE: CAMPUS STORE SHOCKER

MAGGOT VEG SOLD IN NISA

df

KATIE HOPKINS ON FAME SEE PAGES 18 & 19

SCENE

THE PULLOUT

Sensational student claim at Market Square store

BY JACK GEVERTZ & HELENA HORTON

A PROMINENT campus store has sparked a health and safety storm after it allegedly sold a vegetable infested with MAGGOTS. An undergraduate, who does not wish to be named, claims a piece of broccoli purchased from Nisa Local on 30 May was crawling with the bugs.

Full story - Page Five

GoT: CAMPUS EDITION SEE PAGES 20 & 21

2 Vısıon YORK

NEWS

Tuesday June 10, 2014

CHERRY GOOD NEWS

YORK VISION EXCLUSIVE

PUPPY TALES

BY HELENA HORTON

AFTER A tough battle and an intense election campaign, Cherry managed to win the coveted position of Graduation Tree.

It was a close battle between Fig and Cherry, with Fig supporters campaigning for the fruity cause until the very end.

Voting closed last week, after opening the week before and there was a bitter campaign for the tree crowned as the one which will be planted at Graduation this year.

A disappointed Fig supporter commented: “We didn’t have apple time to campaign for our cause, especially as it took place during exams. We managed to keep up ap-pear-ances, however and bag second place, which if we didn’t win I would have plum-ped for.”

Thomas Ron, Disabled Students Officer, did not get involved in any of the campaigns, commenting: “I do not care that much who won, as I am not a graduate.”

However, he confessed to a secret preference, commenting: “I would have preferred fig, but cherry is a wonderful tree”.

The tree will be planted at graduation in the Summer Holidays.

THE HALIFAX College puppy lounge is to open on Wednesday.

A Facebook event has invited students to spend 15 minute slots with the pooches in a bid to relieve exam stress.

It is being supported by York Nightline and the charity Guide Dogs.

Students will be able to access the lounge, located in JJs, from 11.30am until 4.30pm.

There is a £1 suggested on the door donation.

The announcement comes following fury last month from the world’s largest animal rights organisation.

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US-based PETA claimed the idea meant the college was engaging in “harmful activity”.

But a spokesperson denied this, insisting that the idea would involve “highly-reputable charities that take welfare of animals very seriously”.

Meanwhile, Goodricke College opened its own puppy room on Friday.

Officials allowed access to the cute canines in the morning after Halifax’s Sponsorship Officer, Rachel Smith, revealed plans for her college’s puppy lounge in April.

STUDENT CAMPAIGN SUCCESS YORK STUDENT Maria Munir is raising the profile of a national campaign about facial palsy.

Facial palsy, a condition which affects facial muscles, affects up to 20,000 people in the UK each year.

First year student Maria Munir spoke to Vision about her campaigning: “Up until the age of 10, I had no name for my condition. I didn’t know if anyone else had it, let alone how to deal with it. But this campaign allows me to reach all those people like me and give them the support they deserve.

“Fixers – a UK-based charity that supports 16-25 year olds to take on important issues – gave me the opportunity to get my message across. It has worked with over 12,500 young people in the past six years alone, hoping to reach over 70,000 young people by 2020.

Funding from organisations such as the Big Lottery Fund has made almost 1,460 projects possible, raising the profile of many important causes from the importance of education, to cerebral palsy.

“I filmed a broadcast with them which went on to feature on ITV

News Calendar. In it, I detail facial palsy, meet someone who had Bell’s palsy, and an expert from the charity Facial Palsy UK explains how lonely the condition can be. I aim to bring the term into the national consciousness, so my project is to create a striking poster campaign around York, detailing some key symptoms people can associate with facial palsy, as well as giving them guidance on where to find support.

“Facial Palsy UK is a beacon which provides access to therapy, support groups, and advice on how

to deal with facial palsy on a daily basis.

“A British Medical Journal study showed that nearly half of patients with facial paralysis have not received sufficient treatment which could prevent permanent disability. It is for reasons such as this one that it is so important that the public is informed of the condition, how it can affect them or their loved ones, and where to seek support. After a lifetime of being ignored, resulting in permanent palsy, I decided to take action so as to raise awareness of facial palsy.”

Editors: Leon Morris & Helena Horton; Managing Director: Will McCurdy; Deputy Editors: Joonsoo Yi & Callum Shannon; Scene Editors: Charlie Benson & Tim Douglas; Digital Editor: Tom Davies; News Editors: Lizzy Roberts & Chloe Gaughan; Deputy News: James Pascoe; Chief News Reporter: Jack Gevertz; Comment Editors: Eliza Gkritsi & Barto Joly de Lotbiniere; Deputy Comment: Joe Williams & Doris Xu; Features Editors: Phillip Adams & George Dabby; Deputy Features: Philip Watson & Zena Jarjis; Sports Editors: Ollie Meakin & Helena Sutcliffe; Deputy Sport: Lorenzo Wong & Jon Barrow; Chief Sub-Editors: Anna Hinchcliffe; Chief Sports Photography: Dan Golton Opinions expressed in York Vision are not necessarily those of the Editors, senior editorial team, membership, or advertisers. Every effort is made to ensure all articles are as factually correct as possible at the time of going to press, given the information available. Copyright Vision Newspapers, 2014. Printed by Mortons of Horncastle.

NEWS

Tuesday June 10, 2014

Vısıon 3 YORK

CASHING IN ON TWITTER TREASURE HUNT

PWHOAR DE FRANCE

BY LIZZY ROBERTS

STREAKING HAS been identified as one of the biggest risks at the Grand Départ of the Tour de France in York next month.

A report highlighting potential high risk situations that could affect the performance of the athletes and the safety of the event stated that unofficial and distracting posters were the biggest risks to cyclists, whilst streaking was identified as the second biggest risk.

The Tour de France starts officially in York at the start of July. York is anticipated to be at the centre of international press attention whilst attracting thousands of spectators.

One student informed Vision; “I said when I came to uni someone would see me naked - I’m not going to let myself down with an opportunity like this.”

In the money – students hunt for hidden cash in York...

BY JACK GEVERTZ A TWITTER account has sparked a student search for hidden cash in York.

Around four people scooped a share of the £50 prize hidden in an envelope at Duncombe Place opposite the York Minster on Thursday.

But it was not students at the University of York who found the cash, instead it was a group consisting of students from York St John University.

Those vying for the cash here missed out by seconds.

“I was just seconds away,” one student said.

The frenzy was started by the Hidden Cash UK Twitter account, which

SUMMER BALL SUCCESS

BY LIZZY ROBERTS THIS YEAR’S YUSU Summer Ball has now sold over 2,300 tickets.

YUSU President Kallum Taylor announced in a meeting with Vision that tickets sales were booming in the past few weeks since acts were announced three weeks ago.

Headlining the Summer Ball are indie-rock band Twin Atlantic who have just released a new album and are expected to pull in large crowds at the event.

Other acts include singersongwriter MNEK and American band Vintage Trouble.

Last year the event sold over 3,000 tickets and included attractions including a silent disco.

PETER TATCHELL is speaking at the university on June 16th.

Tatchell will be discussing LGBT campaigns after same-sex marriage.

The event will be held in P/X/001 at 6.30pm by the York Union.

Derwent College LGBT Officer Tom Clark told Vision, “It’s fantastic that he’s coming to the university.

The talk is sure to be engaging and topical, providing an opportunity to learn about LGBT rights from one of its most experienced champions.”

Harry Scoffin from York Union said: “We’re really pleased to be working with Derwent College to deliver what promises to be a very interesting and exciting event.”

is a nationwide game where an anonymous user stashes cash in hidden envelopes around the UK. Members of the public then have to find the envelopes from the picture given in order to claim their prize.

The hunt was started in America, and NBC Los Angeles has recently reported traffic jams as people scramble to find the money.

One Twitter user, who goes by the name Arran, wrote: “Thank you to @hiddencash_UK, found the envelope and split it, great fun, sorry to the people who missed out. #cashtag”

@imjackyeah

CASE TO CRACK AT HALIFAX

BY JACK GEVERTZ

OFFICIALS AT Halifax have cracked after student pranksters lobbed eggs at the college accommodation blocks.

Administrators Jacqui Fountain and Fran Stanton have issued a warning to undergraduates and postgraduates following a number of reported incidents over the past week.

It is not known exactly where the eggs were thrown but officials have said those involved will be made to pay for “additional cleaning which is carried out”.

An email to students said: “This week there has been a number of incidents reported where eggs have been thrown at accommodation blocks/ houses.

“We are investigating this as this is unacceptable behaviour and should be stopped immediately.”

It added: “As a resident it is your responsibility to ensure that your accommodation is kept clean, even if the cause of the mess is not directly caused by your flat.”

@imjackyeah

4 Vısıon

NEWS

Tuesday June 10, 2014

SUMMER SEX FEST YORK

SHAG SPIKE IN PUBLIC CAMPUS LOCATIONS GSA ELECT

BY LEON MORRIS THE SUMMER heat has seen saucy students spark anger this month, after claims of students having sex on campus.

Sordid acts have been reported on the Alcuin JCR pool table, PX001, Hendrix Hall, a lift in Alcuin, as well as the moving bookcases in the library.

Claims have also seen students having intercourse in the Quiet Place – widely considered an area of religious reflection on campus.

The spike is believed to be caused

by the end of exams.

One student slammed the act, saying “It’s disgusting!”

“I can’t believe students would be as disrespectful as to having sex on campus – especially in the Quiet Place!”

However the university’s secretary and Registrar, David Duncan, denied the events and said “it has not appeared in the daily security report”.

He added “We encourage all members of the university community to treat each other with courtesy and respect.”

“This includes using facilities such as the Quiet Place for the intended purpose - in this case, quiet reflection and prayer” An FOI request by this paper also confirmed the news last month that the university has no knowledge of sex on campus and claimed “there are no cases of sex anywhere on campus.”

But one first year student who wished to remain anonymous, didn’t see the issue and called it said: “Are you serious? If this is the best your paper can come up with…”

@imleonmorris

25 PER CENT BEVS DROP

BY HELENA HORTON THE GSA committee has been elected, with Jelena Horvatic narrowly beating Josh Henning for president by 30 votes.

Over 10.5 per cent voted in the GSA President elections, which the University can confirm is higher than last year.

Jelena Horvatic will be the first full-time sabbatical officer of the GSA, while the other positions will remain the same.

Other positions which were filled included Vice President for Student Engagement and a Student Trustee of the GSA, won by Ling Ding and Andy Law respectively.

Ken Leach, the new General Manager of the GSA said, “GSA staff, current officers and our Trustees are looking forward to working with Jelena, Ling and Andy. With our new officers’ goals, the new strategic plan we’ve been working on over the last few months, and a new representative structure, it’s going to be an exciting year ahead.”

David Sanin, GSA Welfare Officer said, “It’s good to see an increase of voting turn-out after the changes to our representative structure. I am sure that Jelena, Ling and Andy will continue to strengthen the GSA’s role in improving the postgraduate experience at the University of York.”

The election turnout was a 34 per cent increase from last year, and according to the NUS the average voter turnout in student elections is 16 per cent.

CAMPUS CLUBBING

BY JAMES PASCOE

North Yorkshire Police have seen a drop in alcohol-related incidents within the city walls - of a QUARTER. The drop has been achieved within a month of the new alcohol exclusion zone set up in April.

Student volunteers have joined YUSU’s Nightsafe project, strongly recognised as a wide success.

A CLUB night billed as York’s “first on-campus club” is set to take place on Wednesday.

“Black Box”, a house and techno-themed event will be held in the Derwent Performance Space from 10:30pm till 4:00 am, with a line-up of DJs including Onlyarian, Alex T, Antwon and Kineza.

Second-year biology student Sam told Vision: “I’m pretty hyped for Wednesday night, it’ll be interesting to see how this night matches up to Coup d’Etat in Courtyard and Marmite in Glasshouse. A lot of other universities have club nights frequently on campus, and I think it’s something that should definitely be happening more often here.”

NEWS

Tuesday June 10, 2014

Vısıon 5 YORK

YORK VISION EXCLUSIVE

SLUG LIFE HORROR AT NISA BLUNDER & APPALLING RATINGS OF CITY RESTAURANTS [cont’d from Front] They noticed the vegetable was infested after they placed it inside a food bowl ready to be cooked.

They were then left shocked and snapped their findings.

“I’m really disappointed in the food standards at Nisa Local on campus. Their fresh food section is often days old,” they told us.

“Just because we’re students doesn’t mean we deserve poor quality.”

The undergraduate says they won’t be shopping at the store on Market Square, which took over from Costcutter in January, following the incident and are calling on other students to check the produce before they buy it.

Ananna Zaman, a first-year student, said a health and safety check should “potentially” be carried out. She added: “It is veg at the end of the day but I don’t think I would “check” surely you would see maggots on your food before buying it.

“As long as Nisa are thoroughly checking their fresh produce from now on it shouldn’t be a problem in the future.”

Vinh Dang, also a first-year student, added that he thought it was “disgusting”.

But George Hughes, a third-year student, said he thought it was “not true”, and defended Nisa Local as a “high quality shop”. He said: “I think it’s more likely the maggots were in the students halls or fridge.

“Also, flies tend to lay their eggs on decaying matter. Rotting meat or old vegetables in a garbage can for example. Not on ripe vegetables that have just been bought from a supermarket. Therefore I think it’s not true.”

Nisa Local has two branches at the university on Market Square and Halifax College. They have plans to bring another shop to Heslington East.

A spokesperson for the chain said: “It is difficult to comment on this specific case without knowing when the product was purchased, what conditions it was stored in and what other produce was stored alongside it. Nisa operates to the highest standards of hygiene and environmental health. Both shops on campus are regu-

69p NISA BROCCOLI

45p HIGH STREET BROCCOLI

BY

JACK GEVERTZ & HELENA HORTON

larly inspected by an independent environmental health inspector in addition to official inspections. and achieved a 5* star rating in the last environmental audit (the certificate is displayed on the door of the Market Square supermarket).

“Fresh vegetables and fruit and procured at Leeds Market and via Nisa’s depot in North Lincolnshire. They are brought in twice a day​and sold within 24 hours.

“A shelf life is not stated but as with all fruit and veg the user is advised to wash it before eating

it. Any customer who is unhappy with a product for whatever reason should take it back to the shop and will receive a full refund.”

The news extends recent fears over health and safety from local restaurants in York following the latest ‘Scores on the Doors’ by the Food Standards Agency, which rates food handling, cleanliness and hygiene checks.

Around ten outlets in the area have been rated zero by the government department, whose website claims means they are “poorly performing”.

“Those with ratings of ‘0’ are very likely to be performing poorly in all three elements and are likely to have a history of serious problems,” it says.

“There may, for example, be a lack of sufficient cleaning and disinfection, and there may not be a good enough system of management in place to check and record what the business does to make sure the food is safe.”

Among those given the poorest rating was popular venue, The Biltmore Bar and Grill, which its staff says is down to a “tech-

Popular student haunts such as the Biltmore Bar and Grill have been SLAMMED by the Food Standards Agency nicality with a complex piece of machinery, which has since been addressed.”

A spokesperson told the York Press: “The rating was awarded based on a technicality regarding a piece of complex machinery.

“It was stressed to us at the time that our kitchen was extremely clean and the award was in no way a reflection of the freshness of our produce.

“We welcome an inspection of our kitchen any time as we pride ourselves on always previously holding five stars.”

6 Vısıon YORK

NEWS

Tuesday June 10, 2014

Vısıon YORK

SAYS

I do not want maggots in my veg!

YUSU PREZ IN COUNCIL TAX CONUNDRUM

At the prices that Nisa charge, I’d be expecting to find Fool’s Gold in my broccoli instead of MAGGOTS and other insect life.

I suppose it’s a poor man’s puppy lounge but it’s hardly an incentive to have your meat and two veg of an evening.

THIRD YEARS

KICKING y or Am hands he eternal r e d i is t g rd C Edwa nds? That udent takin t ha s e y n i n W t. ra et Lis ion fo quest 2014 Buck on the

Third years are cray cray Third years this time have been absolutely mad, planning ‘fascist’ book burnings, sordid floatillas (they definitely don’t float my boat, have any of you seen the state of the lake?)

They seem to regret not going all out in the rest of their uni career, instead trying to be employable or getting really involved in societies.

It’s all very well having a bit of fun but they have to remember the consequences of their actions, it is very probably against Uni rules to go on a dingy on the lake and will probably upset the geese if not Greg Dyke. Also, one night stands lose their novelty as you reach a certain age.

Students and their sordid sex lives What a ridiculous idea to catch chlamydia and Tweet about it just before you enter the job market!

You had first year to go mad in Willow, knuckle down and apply for that job you always wanted instead of getting some sort of grass friction burn and thrush in the Quiet Place.

The NUS debate is such lolz Look, we get it - the NUS help us make money. Kind of.

The truth is, the referendum debate, whilst held at an awkward time for students - has become wildly out of control on both sides of the coin. Whilst you may think the majority of student want to remain in the NUS, you’d be right. But it’s only for the discounts...

BY JACK GEVERTZ YUSU PRESIDENT Kallum Taylor has apologised after the YUSU affiliation ‘Yes’ campaign linked NUS membership with a council tax exemption for students.

The head of the students’ union wrote on Facebook that he would reword the sentence, which appeared under the ‘Arguments’ section of the YUSU website on the ‘Should YUSU affiliate with the NUS?’ page, following questions from students.

The sentence said: “They’re the reason you don’t pay council tax - saving you about £1,000 a year!”

A spokesperson for the ‘Vote No to the NUS’ campaign said on Facebook that it was “absolute nonsense” and that it was a “government policy aimed

to get more people into university”.

But supporters of the ‘Yes’ campaign insist it was a “typing error” which would be rectified “as soon as possible”.

Mr. Taylor said: “I was highlighting it as a win which helps pretty much every student which we sometimes take for granted. That was all really.”

Council Tax was introduced in 1992 to replace the poll tax as the main way to pay for local services.

An NUS campaign to exempt fulltime students from the tax upon its introduction was successful and now those living in accommodation where all the residents are full-time students don’t have to pay it.

@imjackyeah

SNUB FOR HES EAST STREET VIEW

BY JACK GEVERTZ LOST ON campus? Can’t find your lecture room? Then look no further as Google Street View has hit campus.

For the first time, both undergraduates and postgraduates can use the satellite facility to roam around the university without having to actually be at the university.

The feature, announced via Twitter on the 2nd of June, covers just the Heslington West campus after officials claimed it could not be introduced on Heslington East due to the barrier system in place there.

A spokesperson told us: “It may be that the Google Street View van operators were discouraged by these restrictions.”

Google Street View is a technology

that uses both Google Maps and Google Earth to provide a real-life view from positions across the world.

Originally, the feature was just available for roads, but it has since extended to include rural areas and cities – and now university campuses.

Students have reacted to the addition of Street View at York via social media.

One tweeted: “Heslington Hall looks stunning in Google Street View! Indeed, it is a beautiful old building at @UniOfYork @ yorkunisu!”

Another wrote: “I like the one where you can see the reflection of the Street View chap! With camera on back!”

@imjackyeah

BEV BANTER #bucketlist Jo Barrow @JoBarrow

“Spent half an hour working out the logistics for our ‘end of uni piss up flotilla’ - you’re all invited btw, bring a dinghy & some vodka “If you’re nodding off in the Library, it might be time to go home and sleep. It’s a busy time of year, so take care of yourselves.

Sophie Gadd @Sophie_Gadd

“So psyched to do all the things* I missed out on because of revision. *laundry. Cleaning the bathroom.

Washing up.”

George Hughes @georgebhughes

“tattoo my dissertation title on you so I know its real”

Ge

NEWS

Tuesday June 10, 2014

Vısıon 7 YORK

GO WILD AS THEY PREPARE TO LEAVE YORK

G THE BUCKET FLOTILLA PLANNED ON CAMPUS WEST LAKE

beingtilla’ is lo F p -u A ‘Piss y third years to just b i, planned their end of un RY te

by U ld e h celebra the one here like the e 1980s, when th back in leaner! s a lot c lake wa

, ing , ez leav rget r P U r a r fo US aylo neve Y T ’ll iss! ve Gi llum e he py k a i K ezz lop pr ig s ab

BIG PHAT QUEUE

BY GEORGE DABBY

TERRIFIED REVELLERS reported severe crushing in the queue for Phat Fridays amid scenes of chaos at the end-of-exams party on 9th June.

Having sold out its allocation of queue jump tickets within half an hour, hundreds of students turned up to the Duchess to find a team of just 4 bouncers who failed to manage a queue that stretched into Whip-MaWhop-Ma-Gate.

What was intended to be an end of exams celebration quickly turned sour as revellers who had queued for over two hours attempted to scale the barriers as the crushing became intense.

One second-year student , who broke free with a group of friends said: “It was terrifying. I remember my dad warning me about crushing at football matches and at one point it became difficult to breathe as people surged forward.”

WEL-FARE

BY JAMES PASCOE

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WLLIOW SWEAT

NEWS FEATURE

By LIZZY ROBERTS & BARTO JOLY DE LOTBINIÈRE THIRD YEAR students leaving York in just a matter of weeks have been completing ‘bucket lists’ Groups, lists and have sprung up across Facebook posting ideas and achievements that students in their final year have been busy doing since exam season finished.

Final year bucket lists are not uncommon but some ideas this year are pretty whacky! One 3rd year English student organising a ‘flotilla’ event on June 18th told Vision: “People used to sail there all the time, we’re just carrying on in a grand York tradition - with added alcohol!

YUSU President Kallum Taylor commented on the event saying:“There’s probably a lot of other, safer (and cleaner) things to do for an end of year bucket list. As much as I love our campus wildlife and ‘green’

environment, the lake is hardly a fresh water haven at the minute and I dread to think of the things you could catch if something went wrong there.”

Other bucket list ideas this year have included re-enacting a medieval battle in York outside Historic locations, such as Clifford’s Tower. George Hughes (pictured above) told Vision: ““York is a city that has so much to go and do, It literally has history coming out the walls. there are so many things that people say “oh I’ve always wanted to do that, or see that” so why not do them?”

Other bucket-list activities mostly involve drinking, pulling and sex. With such feats as spending 7 nights in a row at Willow until closing, getting a kiss off YUSU President Kallum Taylor and having sex in the quiet place

A NEW Academic and Welfare Coordinator staff position has been announced

by YUSU. The role was created in response to an increase in casework over the past few years.

Her work involves holding workshops that deal with common student welfare issues, such as homesickness.

The aim is “to equip students with the knowledge and resources to avoid getting into difficult situations and to cope better when they do”, outgoing Welfare Officer George Offer told Vision.

The new welfare coordinator will be based at YUSU’s advice and support centre.

And Offer, who will be YUSU Academic Officer from September, added: “Really excited about the increased capacity this gives us not only to help more individuals but also to promote our service more widely, reaching and serving more of our students.

“This, along with the scheduled programme of workshops we’re hoping to start trialling in colleges early next year, proactively equipping students with the knowledge and resilience to care for themselves better means a better time for York students.”

8 Vısıon YORK

NEWS

Tuesday June 10, 2014

STUDENTS IN THE LOOP AT LAST

YORK WEATHER

TRON STANDS UP FOR HARD OF HEARING STUDENTS

BY LIZZY ROBERTS THOMAS RON has announced that hearing loops will be installed in a number of lecture halls.

The new additions are designed to help students who are hard of hearing to be able to listen to their lecturers more clearly.

The campaign was headed

Tron... Ecstatic

by Ron and Halifax College Disabilities Officer, Josh Salisbury, who have now secured the instalment of hearing loops in a number of large lecture theatres across campus including Hendrix Hall, PS/B/020 and C/A/101.

Speaking to Vision, Ron said: “I am very happy the University has agreed to fix the hearing loops in its major lecture theatres.

“When Josh and I toured those theatres we were shocked at how rooms that regularly service over 100 people an hour had no provision for any of the students, meaning that

students would have to rely on individual hearing loops.

“It is good to hear that the university has listened to our concerns and is acting to fix the problems and hopefully all major lecture theatres will be compliant and working.”

Josh Salisbury explained how the system would work; “The system works by sending the audio from a microphone to the induction loop, which sends out a signal that can be picked up directly by hearing-aids.

This cuts out a lot of background noise and directly amplifies the lecturer’s voice.”

Salisbury told Vision; “It’s a great help to people like myself who wear hearing aids, as I’m sure you can imagine. When Tom, Josh Tracey and I went to the lecture halls, we were quite surprised to find many of them didn’t work or weren’t even in place. However the University has listened to our criticisms and has agreed to fix the problems.

“This is great not just for hearing-aid users like myself but also for people with other disabilities, as it shows that the University can and does act on problems affecting disabled students.”

MORE BOOKS

BY LIZZY ROBERTS

OVER £30,000 has been spent on the latest library ‘MoreBooks’ scheme this term.

The scheme aims to make sure that students have enough books and to fill any gaps in their course reading. Students can nominate books that are needed through a system on the library website.

One second year History student told Vision; “It’s a great idea - I only wish I had some of these books before my exams!”

A third year PPE student said: “I don’t really care. The library is a waste of time – the selection is terrible.”

Vısıon YORK

WEATHER with LIZZY ROBERTS

REPORTS ARE coming in of a thick layer of frost on the YUSU Prez’s desk over at the Student Centre after the news that Basshunter is headlining sell-out event, Project D. Meanwhile, climates of a hot and sticky nature have been measured in the Quiet Place after an apparent heatwave of passion uncovered by Vision.

WATCH OUT FOR THE GENDER POLICE A WINNING entry for Halifax’s campaign to promote LGBT campaigns has been chosen.

The entry (left) was submitted by a trans* female Halifax student who wishes to remain anonymous. She won £20, as well as having her poster displayed around campus.

The poster advertises Halifax’s latest welfare campaign ‘Promosexual’ which aims to raise awareness of LGBTQ rights on campus.

Entries were open to all University students and moderated by Halifax JCRC and the YUSU LGBTQ committee to pick the best entry that embod-

BY LIZZY ROBERTS ied the campaign and was eye catching to students.

Halifax LGBTQ convener Jake Chadwick told Vision; “We chose this entry because it addresses an issue causing problems across the LGBTQ spectrum.

“Gender policing is the subtle, or overt, undermining of individuals whose identities transgress the gender binary. Whether it’s aggression directed at so-called ‘femme’ men or ‘butch’ women, it can be either overt or subtle.”

NEWS

Tuesday June 10, 2014

I’M NOT GAME onight, or tonight in

T

the sense that it will be tonight when this comes out in print, is the annual end of year knees up of this newspaper, formerly known as ‘Big V’ and this year renamed ‘Project V’, to mimic the similar rebranding of its Derwent counterpart.

As much as I’m sure the evening will be enjoyable, I can’t help but be filled with a certain underlying sense of dread, as I know the punchbowl will not even be half empty before some braying over-sharer suggests the playing of that most dreaded of drinking games. ‘Never have I ever’.

‘Never have I ever’ is one of those things which really highlights that in our modern, liberated society, the stuffy, the shy and those possessed of delicate, effete sensibilities have basically been told to do one.

Is it really so old fashioned, so Victorian, so anti-fun, to not want to hear the minute, intimate details of other people’s avaricious sex lives.

Honestly, I have practically zero interest in those who once had a root vegetable stuck up their arse at a farmyard orgy. It’s all a touch gloaty, let’s be fair.

Call me what you like, call me Peter Hitchens. Infer I’m just jealous, you may have half a point.

But please don’t leave me drinking awkwardly in the corner whilst you regale your threesome stories, and don’t give me a round of abuse for not playing. It’s just the way I was wired. Sorry.

tom.davies@yorkvision.co.uk

‘Looks like he sleeps on the floor’

TOM DAVIES

T

YORK

‘Boring’ - YUSU Bastard

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My second year is almost over, and I’m still alive, just. he words that follow comprise my final column of this academic year. It’s been a constant pleasure and never a chore to serve as York Vision’s house columnist for the past 9 months or so, and I hope to return to the job in October (reselection willing, looking at you, Eds).

What this column symbolises, though, is that my second year at university is very nearly over. In a few weeks time I will be, for all intents and purposes, a third year student, and thus approaching the final part of my three year stretch at the University of York.

Getting all the clichés out of the way early, it really does feel like only yesterday that I turned up here, with a head full of dreams and a heart full of, well, barely concealed misanthropy, but that’s beside the point.

The point is, here I stand, nearly two years on from that fateful day in October 2012 where I sat on my new bed in Derwent College reading, of all things, the fresher’s magazine of this newspaper, wondering what my new life had in store, bereft of my worryingly encroaching beer gut and with clothes which almost never smelt like a stagnant mire in the Fens.

I’m still alive, just. But am I enriched? Have I grown as a person?

Indisputably. I’ve invented my own

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sport (Potato Cricket), learnt how to avoid paying the TV license fee and, after running out of socks one fateful day, discovered what wearing a pair of women’s tights for a day feels like (it chafes, oh god how it chafes).

Academically speaking, two thirds of the way through my Politics degree I feel that I now have a real appreciation for Thomas Hobbes’ conceptualisation of the state of nature as “a war of all against all”, but enough about Revs on Sunday nights.

What follows now for the precious remaining weeks of this term is the end of exams hubbub which

“I’VE DONE SOME THINGS I’M NOT ENTIRELY PROUD OF THIS YEAR” traditionally involves more utterances of “FREEEEDOM!” than a screening of Braveheart at an SNP party conference.

You’ve got your choice of big events, such as Project D, which is a kind of brutalist Woodstock. Or the Summer Ball, which if it’s anything like last year is essentially going to a gig/carnival at a racecourse in a suit.

For many though, these three or four blessed weeks of university freedom before we return home will consist of the peculiar routine

of coming home from Willow in full daylight and introspectively questioning whether this was quite what we expected when we triumphantly collected our A-level results.

What am I getting at with all this? Well, ladies and gentleman, that this is your life. Or at least it’s mine. This is my Uni Daze.

Rolling from place to place like I’m in some sort of faintly surreal dream, everything blurring into one, never really stopping long enough to consider the meaning of anything that happens. I’ve done some things I’m not entirely proud of this year, and had some successes and moments that I’ll cherish till the day I die.

I ended my first column of the year with a message of hope, looking forward to what the next three terms would throw at me, and I’ll try and end on the same note, with the vast majority of those three terms now behind me, Alpha and Omega, beginning and end and all that.

When all’s said and done, I’m still here, and so presumably are you if you’re reading this. We survived, got through it, made it to the finish line, and the term isn’t over quite just yet.

Once again, as I said in my first column, university is ultimately transient in nature, and that airport terminal of higher education arrivals and departures will soon fire into life, we’ll lose some old faces in a few weeks with graduation, and we’ll gain some new ones in a few months when the latest crop of freshers arrive. But I’ll be back in October, and York, as always, endures.

DEAR ‘COW FETISH’ MAN This is a personal message to David Truscott, the man who was jailed a couple of weeks ago for threatening to kill a family who attempted to stop him acting out his fetish of rolling around in cow slurry on their farm in Redruth, Cornwall, near where my Father lives.

I would like to thank Mr Truscott personally, for the string of Facebook tags I re-

ceived regarded this story, usually accompanied by comments of ‘only in the West Country’, and for setting back the cause of those of us from the West Country who are attempting to rehabilitate our image as a bunch of half mad, inbred, turnip eating, moon fishing, cider swilling rubes back by about five hundred years...

I

was recently forced to bite the bullet, load up my Netflix and watch the esoteric, strong cheese nightmare masquerading as a children’s cartoon that is Adventure Time as research for my URY show.

I’d always sworn to myself I’d never touch the show, deriding it as being the preserve of hipsters and stoners in the same league as the kind of people who thought it was cool and ironic to still watch SpongeBob Squarepants at age 16.

Despite my preconceptions, though, I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised.

Granted, it’s an occasionally deeply disturbing piece of work, with such themes as a kind of lovecraftian pantheon of cosmic deities and a whole post apocalyptic mythos which heavily infers the Land of Ooo has emerged from a post apocalyptic earth and that the various giants, wizards and “candy people” are all essentially nuclear irradiated mutants.

Having said that, its humour is layered, clever and wickedly adult at times, and it’s genuinely well done as a piece of television.

I was also amused to discover that the dog in it is played by John DiMaggio, of Bender from Futurama and Marcus Fenix from Gears of War fame. Presumably one of the numerous nods to the show’s large older fan base.

Ultimately, I find it bizarrely cathartic when I’m hungover, so it gets a thumbs up from me.

MY SECOND YEAR BUCKET LIST 1) Finally have all of my clothes washed at one time.

2) Stand around on the Osbaldwick village green and see what actually happens all day.

3) Drink a whole bottle of Gordon’s Gin in one night rather than the usual two thirds.

4) Learn to have bigger dreams than the above three entries.

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NEWS

Tuesday June 10, 2014

Callum Shannon takes a look at the UK’s student Publications, looking at the NUS, strikes and Game of Thrones

Student Press CAMPUS NEWS this week has been dominated by the referendum on NUS membership and just whether it’s worth giving up our 5% Amazon discount if we disaffiliate.

Regardless of the outcome, both sides will be hoping for a better result than the recent botched Oxford Union referendum on NUS membership which was declared null and void after over 1,000 fake “no” votes were discovered, according to Cherwell. In other news, a whole generation of future MP’s careers are over before they began because of a vote nobody cared about that for some reason they decided to rig. C’est la vie.

The NUS were in the news in London too, the union doing itself no favours by striking down plans for a much supported London Student Union, uniting all eighteen universities in the capital under one union.

Also in the capital, strikes were still in the news (you’d think it was 1984, not 2014!) as cleaners, porters, caterers and security staff look set to walk out on strike in response to redundancy plans to axe 100 members of staff at Garden Halls, one of London’s newest and largest accommodation blocks, according to London Student.

Meanwhile, in the north, one student has come up with an invention that could see dodgy landlord become a thing of the past. Mark Robinson, Northumbria Student, made headlines in his native Lancaster after he took a year out of his studies to develop StudentlandlOder. com, an online student landlord reviewing platform with 22 UK universities currently available, including York get logged on and post a review to help next year’s students avoid any problems you might have had.

With Game of Thrones back, dynastic power struggle fever has swept the nation, but nowhere has been affected more than Warwick, where the student union received a proposal to rename the position of president “Khal” or “Khalessi”, which was rejected on the grounds that the union might get sued

by HBO, according to The Tab. I can’t help but wonder how long it will be before Kallum styles himself as Lord Paramount of the North (or, depending on how the NUS referendum goes, perhaps even King of the North).

YUSU PREZ Kallum Taylor: 2012-2014

York will feel weird for many without the omnipresence that is Kallum Taylor. He’s been president for two years now and focused on giving YUSU a ‘Public Face’ and an on-campus profile, doing block runs and having a strong Twitter presence (weird hashtags and all!). Here’s our review of his YUSU President position over the last two years- goodbye Kallum!

KALLUM’S HIGHLIGHTS INCREASED YUSU’s PRESENCE ON SOCIAL MEDIA & ENGAGEMENT WITH STUDENT IDEAS KalTay came into the job hoping to raise the profile of YUSU and get more students involved- and that he did. He increased his Twitter followers from the last President exponentially, became a real ‘public face’ of YUSU-- we at Vision

often make fun of his trademark scarf and tight trouser combo, but the very fact he has a trademark shows just how well known he has become. Also, although this has caused controversy, he has increased voting turnout by taking strong stances, and

AGM turnout by hosting controversial referenda on the same night. He even gave free drinks to those who turned up in 2013.

All in all, Kallum Taylor is the ultimate BNOC and his name will resonate around the halls of York for years to come.

LIVE & LOUD SUCCESS He moved Live and Loud, the Freshers w e e k festival, from the campus

bars to Hes East. This pleased Heslington East colleges because it raised the profile of Hes East and got people over there, and also it improved the concert, making it into more of a festival than before and made sure that everyone got

to see the headline acts.

The event is now a legitimately big event, with big names performing each year.

The only complaint he got was from some people who were worried the noise upset the geese. Poor waterfowl.

WINS FOR HEALTH SCIENCE STUDENTS Kallum Taylor worked hard in favour of health sci-

ence students in his term as President, and this is arguably one of the most notable achievements he made. He made wins including extended bus services for early morning

placements, a hardship fund for students and also started negotiations to do with funding with the NHS. Health science students definitely got a fair deal under KT.

NOTABLE MENTIONS: SCARVES, KELLOGGS, PLUG THE GAP, NUS, WEIRD HASHTAGS

NOTE TO SELF: DON’T MESS WITH McGIVERN

BEST OF @YUSUPREZ Great to see Biggles the Boodle + Polly the Poodle @James_College today. Adorable dogs. Very cheeky! #Oodles #Of #Poodles #And #Boodles

Rumour has it @Tara_Annison has been to @KudaClubYork more times than she’s had Roast Chicken Sunday Dinners! #iFeelLikeTIKItonight I’m having a breakdown at my desk. Time for some ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ by Bonnie Tyler. @YorkUniSU #CantCope Bring on the #YSA

Congratulations to the winner of last edition’s ‘Kallum’s Kaption Kompetition’

Did someone say “BUZZING” !? Hell yeah. @YorkUniSU have HIT 100 applications from students to be part of #NIGHTSAFE - Amazing.

NEWS

Tuesday June 10, 2014

SABB REVIEWS

Anna Mcgivern- Activities Anna had a shaky start as a Sabb, with student media reporting that societies were annoyed at her lack of organisation, with Fresher’s and Refresher’s fairs being slammed as ‘poorly managed’. However, it would be prudent to note that the barcode scheme was

piloted by her predecessor, for Fresher’s Fair, so to blame solely her would be unfair. Refresher’s fair was widely scorned as a complete failure, with one student complaining that only 8 people went to visit her society in YourSpace, and that was by accident. Mcgivern

which is available online, so we can see how busy areas of the library are (which is lucky, as the student behind @ LibrarySeats graduates this year) and gave out free water bottles to keep students hydrated. He’s also worked to make sure academics get proper IT training- which will

started off being very slow at communicating with societies too, affecting society events. She herself admitted that she had been slow. However, she did improve towards the end of term and does reply to emails quite speedily now.

She’s always been on it

with blogs, however little sense they make and if anyone bothers to look on the YUSU website you will probably find a chatty, long, rambly blog from Anna.

Overall, she hasn’t completely recovered from her shaky start, but she’s improved immensely.

hopefully end the Overhead Projector tyranny in some departments…

Overall, he’s been pretty active, and for a position which is usually filled by someone who isn’t very loud and one that is seen as a bit dull, he’s done a good job. He is very funny and personable on his Twitter and doesn’t come

across as your ‘typical student politican’.

He also gets involved in a lot of student societies and is generally a good sport, he is in HazSoc where he dresses as a zombie and pretends to kill people, and also in Pantomime society, in which he is performing soon!

George Offer- Welfare & Community In his year of sabbatical tenure, George Offer has introduced YUSU’s new Call It In scheme, which has been widely praised and has previously been covered in Vision. It’s genuinely a great scheme, for students who have issues with any crime or want

any form of assistance regarding security; they give free lock kits out for student houses for example. He also worked with Tron on the “Living Library”. He doesn’t take as strong stances on social issues as Bob Hughes did, and certainly blogs far less, but

YORK

BEST BLOG

Dan Whitmore- Academic Daniel has worked a lot with RAG this year, for example securing a deal with the library to donate all fines to charity during RAG week. He’s also been trying to improve the library, by working with them to collect students’ views on the Key Texts sections, piloting a seat availability system

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he has consistently, if quietly, plugged away this year. He also managed to focus his role more on the Community by changing from Welfare to Welfare and Community Officer.

George was not as active on Twitter as some of his counterparts and

When she described a fruit at the start of every blog for apparently no reason before getting down to business. She certainly had a zest for blogging.

TOP TWEETS @YUSUAcademic I look like a shit Boris Johnson.

@YUSUAcademic

I am thinking we should maybe reinvest all of the union’s money into Coinye West. Y’know, just for shits and giggles.

Thoughts?

BEST BLOG was definitely not as creative with hashtags as some.

He isn’t as much as a ‘character’ as other student politicians and is probably seen as a safe option for Welfare.

Hopefully he will be as good at Academic next year!

Cass Brown- Sports

When he called our “Human Zoo” front page back in Freshers “absolute nonsense” in a plug for the Living Library.

TOP TWEETS @YorkSportPrez

Cass has fulfilled most of last year’s manifesto promises as she moves on to her second term as Sport President. She is very popular amongst the student body and is a personable, friend-

ly Sabb. She secured Physio for sports players, helped us move up 10 places in BUCs, secured £10,000 of extra funding, to mention a few things she’s done.

She’s also worked with

Liberation and Welfare, trying to help Disabled and Trans* involvement in sport. Sadly, her aim of an away Roses win failed to take place, but this was obviously a difficult thing to pull off

and not really her fault.

Roses went really well; Vision was there and we saw it for ourselves!

She really is very good at engaging students, and not just around election time either.

The @NUSuk praises the work we’re doing to make sport more accessible for disabled and LGBTQ students.

@YorkSportPrez

Just spent an hour playing sitting volleyball thanks to @CityofYork disability sport putting the session on at @UniOfYork - so much fun!

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OPINION

OPINION ELIZA GKRITSI: BRING ON THE COFFEE SHOPS! It’s 12pm. You are sitting at Courtyard waiting for your latte; you really need that cup of coffee. The stack of books in front of you makes you wonder whether you should get a one-way ticket to Argentina. As you’re falling deeper into the trenches of exam stress, someone comes up to you and says “I see you’re reading Rousseau.

What are your thoughts on the general will?”

You want nothing more than to punch them in the face. But you’ll settle for some sheepishly polite response that makes him go away. Unless he’s kinda cute, in which case you’ll put on your charming smile.

This is how we respond to intellectuality in a strangers’ setting; we cringe from it because we think it’s weird. We see it as no-one but our friends’ business. But it hasn’t always been that way. There was a time when going to a coffee shop meant having long conversations with strangers about ideas. That time was, not one bit coincidentally, around the Age of Enlightenment.

“In a strangers’ setting, we cringe from intellectuality” Back in the day, when we were still excited about the cool new beverage that had replaced alcohol, coffee, people would gather in cafes and open up their minds, anticipating the next great thought. This environment sparked creative thought, not because of the caffeine, but because of the attitude people had once partaking in it.

They wanted to be challenged, they craved argument and debate, they brought every piece of knowledge of thought they had with them and shared it with the rest. And where many good ideas come together, better ideas are born.

When something innovative or different pops up in your head, you need two things to develop it; time and people. Time helps you develop the idea further, it serves as an incubation period. You may be refining it or working out the logistics. It may simply take time to realise how great that thought was. People are a different story. They will try to prove you wrong and doubt you or complement your unfinished project. Either way, they are the key to improvement.

It is no accident, that good ideas used to originate from the wealthy. Plato and Pythagoras had the luxury of time to contemplate the big questions of life, and the social life that pushed them to perfection.

“But couldn’t the Enlightenment have started from bars?” you ask me. No. Another very significant aspect of the coffee shop was – you guessed it – the coffee. When the divine smell of coffee reached England in the 16th century, people lost their heads over it. By that I mean that they lost their previously insatiable thirst for beer. They switched from a depressant to a stimulant, and their brains lit up. As an MP of the time put it, the drink managed to “expel Giddinesse out of his Head”.

It is no wonder, then, how seven UK universities have decided to promote coffee shop culture in the stead of alcohol culture with the NUS Alcohol Impact scheme. Their aim is to create a “cafe culture that runs into the evening”. Notwithstanding just how ridiculous and impossible this sounds, I am willing to give them a thumbs up for effort. Loughborough, Notting-

Starbucks was the first brand to reach 10 million fans on Facebook.

Coffee is the 2nd most popular drink in the world, after water.

Coffee releases dopamine, which makes you happier.

Adolf Hitler and Margaret Thatcher needed caffeine injections to get through the day.

Tuesday June 10, 2014

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“Listen to a friendly chat, jump in and make it a full-on debate”

ham, Swansea, Brighton, Manchester Metropolitan, Liverpool John Moores and Royal Holloway are taking part in the scheme.

In my opinion, this is a great idea, the kind of idea that must have been born over an espresso. It entails that university life has a chance to go back to what it is supposed to be. No more hangover lectures or drunk study sessions. By substituting alcohol with coffee, we can bring back the connectivity and open conversation that fostered the Enlightenment. To be clear, I am not saying that Voltaires will start popping up in Loughborough, simply that we will increase the level and amount of intelligent conversation in a pluralist environment.

If other people are what motivates us and helps us get better, then we are a generation of massive underachievers. We were given the uncontested champion of bringing people together, and we have done little with it; the internet.

For the first time in human history, we have the potential to communicate with each other on a massive scale. Of course it is not to be said that the internet hasn’t helped our minds and academic careers, on the contrary. It has been an effective instrument of change and discussion.

But on an individual level, we don’t exhaust its potential. YouTube comments are filled with trolls, Instagram with selfies, and Twitter with updates about people’s lives no one ever wants or should be forced to care about.

So, why is it that we have not taken advantage of the greatest tool for dialogue our species has ever encountered? What the internet lacks – and Costa is full of – is human contact. The

“The internet lacks

what Costa is full of; human contact” feeling of having a real person across the table.

In this way, you are accountable for what you say. You are neither anonymous nor distanced.

When people had those great conversations in coffee shops, they were looking at each other.

Once challenged, they had to respond, and a simple “yo momma” wouldn’t cut it.

We need more places where it is OK to be the weird person who listens to a friendly chat, jumps in and turns it into a full-on debate.

We have been given a great tool to do this, but it falls short in motivating us to be our best intellectual selves.

At the end of the day, we would like to come up with the next big thing. It would, after all, make for an awesome status update. So why not head down to the place with the espresso machines, grab a cup of Ethiopian brain medicine, and be a bit creepy?

Bottom Line: A rebirth of coffee shop culture in UK universities will stimulate productive dialogue @egreechee

14 Vısıon YORK

OPINION

Tuesday June 10, 2014

LEON MORRIS:

STUDENTS, JUST ANOTHER MARKET

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ithout any sincere trepidation, it is quite clearly obvious that I can confirm that we live in a capitalist, consumerist society. Whilst we have an education system that is more clearly representing that of a capitalist machine (note: greedy top bosses) – is it clear for us that the university system that we are indoctrinated by is consumerist?

I guess for those of you politicos out there, my next statement would be up for debate.

However, for those of you reading this piece who don’t, thankfully, know what consumerism is, I must define it for the purposes of this article. Is consumerism the reliance on, or protection by, a bunch of brands? No. Is it the fact that humans develop a reliance (or even an inertia) on a brand? Absolutely not. Consumerism is a bit more of a dark, sinister phenomenon.

“Consumerism is

the indoctrination of a mass market” Consumerism is the indoctrination of a mass market into the ideals of brand products.

These ideals are of course influenced and entrenched by mass media – but the core values and lifestyle ideals of these companies are pre-determined for us. Which is precisely my second point. Company executives spend millions of pounds on the smallest adjustments

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to our lifestyles. Our own living standards and habitual choices are pre-determined – and we are just born into a world that has been set out for us by company executives.

And university bosses are not outside of this. Universities are becoming more and more focused on money – they have to become more corporate. The decisions to invite companies onto Heslington East to provide key services entrenches this downward spiral of dependence on fat cats. No thought was given to the possibility of encouraging independent businesses A university, like our university, has the money to invest into in-house services, and yet the choice to snub students and pull in cold, hard executives to provide shows no trend to protest this commercialisation. Added plans to draw in ‘tourists’ on Heslington East via resorts and ‘parades of shops’, alongside a hotel, is a despicable product of the commercialisation of universities – and represents everything wrong in the consumerist world we live in.

The current arguments by the university are, yes, backed up by the poor service and high prices currently offered by the commercial services – I mean, have you ever eaten at Vanbrugh catering? They’re further backed up by the fact that universities generally don’t provide pharmaceutical services to their students – or medical ones at that. But, why not? I see no reason why universities can’t recruit doctors, dentists, pharmacists, etc. to provide key services to their students. Further, the focus on students, as opposed to profit margins or league tables would inevitable bring up those very rankings for the

LIZZY ROBERTS: WARNING! CONTAINS BLOOD

eriods are no joke excepting of course that infamous South Park line; “I’m sorry Wendy, but I just don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die” – but in reality, we have to take this issue seriously.

Women are spending thousands of pounds of their hard earned money on something that, in my opinion, should be free – though I’d settle for VAT free for starters.

Men don’t want to hear about periods. Realistically I don’t blame them – unless you’re some sort of crazed medical student you’re probably not into casually discussing bodily fluids. It doesn’t cross the minds of 77% of MPs that tampons should be tax free, and that’s not necessarily their fault but they need to listen up about something that discriminates millions.

Women are being taxed on essential medical items because the government considers sanitary products to be a ‘lifestyle choice’.

It doesn’t add up. Women menstruating and men growing beards are both unstoppable, yet there is no tax on men’s razors. I don’t often use that phrase “I need feminism because…”, but in this case I think even the most misogynistic male would agree with me that this is pretty ridiculous. It seems to have escaped George Osborne that women can’t actually stop having periods, but I’m pretty sure that if they could choose, they’d stop them faster than you can say paracetamol.

A petition on change.org has been set up, gathering over 10,000 signatures in the space of a few weeks, sending an open letter to lob-

by Mr Osborne to make sanitary products for women tax free. The letter states that “They [sanitary products] are vital to maintaining a healthy and normal life.” The clue really is in the name – sanitary. Studies into the health risks of infection, the spread of disease, as well as general public sanitation, all show that towels, tampons etc. are an essential part of being a healthy woman.

The petition also lists a variety of ‘essential’ items where 0% VAT charges apply; caravans, houseboats, maps, alcoholic dessert jellies, edible cake decorations (specifying particularly sugar flowers and chocolate scrolls) as well as that common shopping trolley item – crocodile steak. To me, all of these things seem like lifestyle choices; none of them would disgust Mr Osborne if they weren’t present in everyday life – though clearly the man can’t live without a beautifully decorated cake.

So sign the petition, write to a politician – grow a beard in solidarity! The taxation on essential healthcare products needed by over 50% of the UK’s population is insane and shows why a dose of feminism (and common sense) still needs to be injected into politics today.

Bottom Line: A female necessity is being unthinkingly overlooked by a male -dominated government @lizzyroberts93

concerned uni bosses.

Despite the fact that I am clearly an anticonsumerist, I find myself often selling my soul for the delights of a quick Starbucks coffee (none of that Costa rubbish, of course) and Zara clothes. Yes, I get the same repulsion that you must feel. I mean, you eat, dress and think in pretty much the same way as the person next to you due to entrenched lifestyles and habit choices.

“This downward

spiral of dependence on fat cats” However, I cannot but feel that a skewed focus of student welfare will only lead to the wrong direction of university provisions and will not only fail to enrich a student’s life (as it should), but will inhibit and indoctrinate a student into the consumerist ideal. Independent thought should be encouraged in its totality, on the high street as well as in the lecture hall.

Bottom Line: Universities must remain a safe haven from consumerism @imleonmorris

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HELENA HORTON: THE STERILE SOCIAL NETWORK

ho do you fancy?” I answered this question on a Bebo quiz when I was in year eight, broadcasting my schoolgirl crush and baring my anguished pre-teen soul to everyone who was interested in the profile of xXxXHell13xXxX. I designed my Bebo domain, had a Tumblr which was basically a study in teen angst. I vomited a mixture of glitter gifs, bad poetry, crushes, hopes and dreams out of my little emo heart into the interwebs. It was a place for me to write to a sympathetic audience about when I was annoyed with my Mum/homework/sister ruining my Kate Moss poster. The internet was basically our diary. Social media invited us to be ourselves, or a cooler, more Emo version, a sort of alter-ego, an outlet for our hot hormonal teen tears. It was a real extension of ourselves. Generation Y literally grew up on the internet.

The other day, a job application asked me for my Twitter handle. I had to delete tweets about crying over exams, but to be honest if I had to delete everything embarrassing I’ve ever tweeted since 6th form when I got the damn thing, I would be there for hours. Our social

media is being sterilized, we have been lied to.

What was our space to be creative, to broadcast our dirty laundry and sordid half-secrets on has now become a corporate tool.

One day, my Twitter bio will read something like: “Marketing executive. Tea lover.

Avid Dr Who fan and enjoyer of life. All views my own lol” because we have to be both personal enough to have followers, and professional enough to use it as a platform for our job. I don’t know about you, but an embarrassing life event can be turned from something excruciating into something successful with three or four retweets. I don’t want to lose that.

My teen angst is being cruelly scrubbed away by a corporate brush – I won’t stand for it any more. So I’m going to casually, passive-aggressively mock the whole industry by writing an ironic Twitter bio about my ‘synergy’. Join me, comrades. Let’s fight the power together, by writing heinous things about our private lives on our social media platforms. Stand with me when I say “Let’s take our social media back!”. We are not corporate tools! Alternatively, we could just all get Myspace again, no one will find us there.

Bottom Line: Online social interaction is being stifled by commercialisation @helenashead

scene

CENSORSHIP: THE RISE OF GUERILLA THEATRE PAGE 5

DRAMA SOC 50 YEARS

BLIND DATE

SUMMER SHOOT

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BOOKS Top Summer Reads: A World Beyond Exams

WHAT’S ON?

We asked you what titles are waiting on the top of the pile ready for some post-exam or post-essay indulgence. There’s nothing like reading for pleasure and it’s a luxury that’s thin on the ground in the lead up to the summer term. Show off your latest dustjacket as you catch some rays on campus and contemplate the summer ahead...

Selina Pope “Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe is meant to be really good.” This famous book by a Nigerian author takes you to the world of the Igbo people in the late nineteenth century.

Helena Horton “Angus Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging. No, not really, although that would be a welcome break from Consequentialism right now! Teen fiction is one of my guilty pleasures after hardcore revision. My aunt gave me a book called The Feminist Promise by Christine Stansell for my birthday last year, so true to stereotypical feminist form I will probably read that.”

Zena Jarjis “I’m reading This Is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz at the moment because I read The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao for my dissertation and loved it! The tone of these stories is similar to that of Oscar Wao, but there’s more of a focus on the narrator’s love life rather than the history of the Dominican Republic.”

Callum Shannon “Probably A Thousand Splendid Suns because I loved Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner and everyone says it’s even better!” This novel relates the story of two Afghan women, a mother and daughter, and is set during the rise and fall of the Taliban.

DramaSoc: You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown (16.06.14) On the 16th of this month, DramaSoc invite you to a show like no other. You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown differs from DramaSoc’s usual performances of grit and hardiness with its musical vibes and light-hearted premise. Though commonly a popular choice for amateur theatre, the controlled and intelligent environment of York’s own acting society is sure to show a fresh and innovative approach to the 1967 classic. With its regularity of musical numbers such as Suppertime and Happiness, this show promises to have you in high

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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is another Nigerian writer whose most recent novel Americanah is flying off the shelves. We predict it to be a major prize-winner!

Maddi Howell

TV Vision speaks with the creators of YSTV’s newest sitcom Union, Tom Woffenden and Kieron Moore.

What was the inspiration for creating Union?

Tom: I always had the impression that not many people really know what a student union actually does. We all know it’s there, but when you hear that turnouts are dismally low or people can’t even name a full time officer, it suggests a disconnect.

Kieron: What Tom said, really. It’s a great concept that hasn’t been done well before and is perfect for student TV. Plus I’d never written series comedy before, only one-off scripts, so jumped at the opportunity to try my hand at it.

Are any of the characters based on real people?

Tom: Nice try, but no! We wanted to research thoroughly, though, before we began, as this was an area of life Kieron and I knew nothing about. We spoke to some Student Union big dogs including Kallum Taylor, Charlotte Winter (ex-York Sport President) and Nick Hall (ex-Union Chair).

Research turned out to be essential as little nuggets from our chats became incorporated into the script, such as a student complaining about a broken hot tap.

Kieron: Of course not. Especially not Chris

YSTV: Interview Wall. Or Kallum Taylor. Or Narghoul the Dread-Slayer.

What’s the best thing about producing a show just for students and why?

Tom: It makes it more relatable, hopefully.

This is a comedy about students, for students, by students.

Kieron: It makes me respected among my peers and so turns me into a socially functioning human being. Well, that was the hope.

If you could work on any TV show in the world, what would it be and why?

Tom: With the degree out of the way I’ve finally got round to watching Game of Thrones. It’s such a damn good show. TV belongs to the writers and for me it’s up there with shows like Breaking Bad and The Wire.

Kieron: Doctor Who. I have my first series planned out for when I take over from Steven Moffat. No, I’m not telling you.

What advice would you give to aspiring student producers?

Tom: There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious, but don’t forget about your degree!

I’m incredibly proud of Union particularly how we made as much content as we did.

Kieron: Forget about your degree. Your degree isn’t important, every graduate has one. What not every graduate has is a sitcom that they’ve produced.

How did making Front Row differ from making Union?

Tom: Front Row (my film review show) was a hell of a lot easier to make. It required only myself, a guest, one or two crewing, and City Screen York for location. Union has been far more stressful – sorting locations, casting actors, filming over weekends. It’s been immensely rewarding.

Nouse or Vision?

Tom: The Yorker.

Kieron: Vox.

spirits.

HistSoc Summer Ball (12.06.14) The HistorySoc Summer Ball is not to be missed.

The inclusivity of the event means anybody – including you – can join the society and attend. With a Red Carpet theme, HistSoc invites students to dress up in their most lavish dresses and majestic tuxedos. The venue, Lowther, described by the society as seemingly like Louis XIV’s Palace of Versailles, will be selling cheap drinks and student friendly prices all night. Tickets currently stand at £9.50 which includes a delicious buffet and photography, so snap them up before they themselves become history (if you’ll pardon the pun).

York Student Cinema: 300: Rise of an Empire (13.06.14) 300: Rise of an Empire is a film of power, tragedy and explicit knife-to-the-throat gore. With its recognisable slo-mo and impressive visual effects, this film extends the new age of CGI-induced film making. With tickets at the regular £3, there really is no excuse to miss this.

Disclaimer – not for the faint hearted.

GoodFest (14.06.14) The highly anticipated free, on-campus festival hosted

by Goodricke College finally kicks off this Saturday.

Among those classic festival treats such as burger vans and a 100ft inflatable assault course (standard), the college boasts headline acts such as Sons and Lovers, and Coasts. Probably set to be the largest event on campus that is completely free to all York students, so you may want to check this one out…

PantSoc do Pantahontas (13.06.14) PantSoc strikes again, this time in the shape of Pocahontas!

Yes, Disney fanatics will be happy to know that Pocahontas is next on the list of campus pantos, a story that inspires music, romance and drama. The show kicks off on the 13th, with performances on the following two days also, giving you multiple opportunities to make it to the performance.

Come to Vanbrugh Dining Hall at 7pm (3pm on 14th and 15th) and experience this wonder of an event!

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IN THIS ISSUE 2

- Top Summer Reads - YSTV Interview

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- The Evolution of the Great British Villain - Belarus’ Freedom Theatre

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6-7

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- Whatever Happened to Hangover TV? - 50 Years of Dramasoc

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- Destination Dining - Tastes of the World

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- Gaming Worlds – A Tourist’s Guide

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- Fuck The Police - The Pirate Ship is Sinking

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- Blind Date

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18 A NOTE FROM THE EDITORS Hi again! Summer is looming and so we have equipped you with a pull-out that celebrates the coming of this much-needed break. We are truly grateful to all our team and contributors for their hard work – we hope that you are able to see how much it has all paid off this year. Writing for Vision isn’t always easy but we’ve had a fantastic time working as Scene Editors. We hope you enjoy this issue just as much as we enjoyed making it; and we’ll see you next term with a fresh new edition.

- The Horror of Hologram - No More Heroes

SCENE TEAM Scene Editors Charlie Benson Tim Douglas Music Editors Milo Boyd Mairead Kearins

Deputy Film Zoe Bennell Michael Cooper

Books Editor Maddi Howell

Tech Editors Costas Mourselas Adrian Horan

Deputy Stage Megan Johnston

Deputy Music Martin Waugh Louisa Hann

Life&Style Editors Selina Melissa Pope Izzi Graham

Deputy Books Phil Watson Becky Boyle

Deputy Tech Michael Cooper Tom Davies

Food Editors Jim Dee Liza Parker

Film Editors Will Addy Sam Stockbridge

Deputy Life&Style Maddi Howell

TV Editors Zena Jarjis Tom Davies

Stage Editors Will McCurdy Anthony Rickman

ON THE TWEET...

Lena Dunham @lenadunham

The Paris Review @parisreview

Hayley Williams @yelyahwilliams

Was late to Kimye wedding so had to walk around Italian streets for hours. Was cat-called within an inch of my life. Now eating a hoagie.

“When I’m writing, I am trying to figure out who I am, who we are, what we’re capable of.” - Maya Angelou.

heads up, Atlantis poolgooers!! i accidentally dropped some almonds from my super-high-up balcony. they’ll be landing any second now. #sorry

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FILM

The Evolution of the Great British Villain

By William Addy

aguar have recently released a new advert highlighting the prominence of British actors when it comes to playing Hollywood villains. Now, in these films the hero may get the girls, the glory and the witty one liners, but they are nothing without a crazed supervillain to pit themselves against. But the nature of these villains can be just as complex and varied as the heroes themselves, so I’m here to talk about how the art of cinematic villainy has changed over the last 70 years.

There are plenty to choose from but we’ll kick the list off with Christopher Lee, and his performance in Dracula (1958) as the Count himself. The film, often described as the definitive adaptation of Bram Stoker’s novel, was a horror masterclass and helped put Lee on the map as a fantastic actor. Over the next decade, however, the depth and complexity audiences had come to expect waned, and Hollywood villains became little more than a one-dimensional sounding board for the hero to kill. These can still be entertaining though.

For instance, Donald Pleasence as the definitive Bond villain Ernst Blofeld in You Only Live Twice (1967). There have been many incarnations of Blofeld, but Pleasence tops them all with his trademark scar and white cat – you just can’t stop the hairs on your neck from prickling.

Next we have Laurence Olivier’s outstanding performance as the former Nazi Dr Christian Szell in Marathon Man (1976). While the film itself can be a little clunky and self righteous, Olivier shines through, much to our discomfort.

What self respecting villain list would be complete without Alan Rickman? This time portraying continental super douche and professional terrorist Hans Gruber in Die Hard (1988) and famously meeting his end after Bruce Willis drops him out of a skyscraper. This, of course, paved the way for Jeremy Irons to seek revenge as Simon Gruber in Die Hard 3 (1995).

At the end of the 1980s, Hollywood began to realise the potential in their villains once again, and one of the first to sport this new style was Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs (1991). His harrowing portrayal has left its mark on audiences everywhere. Despite not being the main antagonist, Hannibal relishes the opportunity to mess with a young FBI agent trying to solve another case.

Not every bad guy has to be a sadistic cannibal however, sometimes they can be something as simple as a lion. Jeremy Irons’ laconic drawl really brings Scar to life in the Lion King (1994). A jealous brother desperate for his chance to be king of the pride, Scar proves that all you need is a menacing British accent and a lust for power to destroy countless childhoods worldwide.

Fast forward six years to the dawn of the gritty crime dra-

ma, we see Ben Kingsley play the terrifyingly psychotic Don Logan in Sexy Beast (2000). This perhaps marks a change in Hollywood; a preference towards more realistic villains. Audiences never truly believed there could be a real life Hannibal Lecter or Hans Gruber, but the grim London underworld hits a little closer to home and the possibility of a real Don Logan is far more uncomfortable. He also has the honour of being the only person to make Ray Winstone quake in his boots.

In the same year we also see Christian Bale catapult Brett Easton Ellis’ Patrick Bateman into our collective conscious in American Psycho (2000). Everyone’s favourite Wall Street psychopath gets increasingly more erratic; killing and torturing randomly. Bateman is a truly unsettling character, a normal everyday investment banker on the outside, but a psychopathic, unfeeling killer on the inside – something that could be hiding inside anyone you meet.

We now leave the terrifying realism behind, moving to the exciting world of comic book superheroes. Marvel comics are renowned for their complex storylines and character depth, so it’s no surprise that being played by Ian Mckellen, Magneto makes it as one the most interesting villains on the big screen. First appearing in X-Men (2000) he makes for a poignant reminder of what discrimination and prejudice can do to people, especially when they have cool mutant powers. As the series progresses you learn more and more about Magneto and his past, he begins to change from a powerful indiscriminate bad guy to a more relatable and human anti-hero, violently fighting for mutant rights because of the treatment at the hands of the Nazis as a child. This ever-changing perception highlights how characters who seem irredeemably bad at first can be just as easily empathised with as your heroes can.

Leading finally to my favourite villain of the bunch; the loveable rogue Loki, played by Tom Hiddlestone for the first time in Thor (2011). Another Marvel masterpiece proving again that comics often provide the best and most complicated villains. Hiddlestone plays Loki wonderfully, highlighting both his good and bad sides. He is ambitious, power hungry and devious, but he also has a complex and intriguing back story. He has been lied to, cheated and mistreated by his ‘father’ Odin to say the least. If you ever want to see betrayal, anger, guilt, sadness and lust for power portrayed in one character, Hiddlestone’s Loki is the one for you.

Dracula - 1958 Christopher Lee Ernst Blofeld - 1967 Donald Pleasence Dr Christian Szell - 1976 Laurence Olivier Hans Gruber - 1988 Alan Rickman Hannibal Lecter 1991 Anthony Hopkins Scar - 1994 Jeremy Irons Don Logan - 2000 Ben Kingsley Patrick Bateman - 2000 Christian Bale Magneto - 2000 Ian McKellen Loki - 2011 Tom Hiddlestone

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Belarus’ Underground Theatre Scene elarus is Europe’s last dictatorship. 20 years ago, President Alexander Lukashenko rose to power after winning the election with a majority of 79% (and allegedly fixing the votes). Since then, the country has seen a major clamp down on free media. Belarus is also home to the last remaining KGB unit in Europe. They operate as hackers, and block any websites that broadcast information that is deemed inappropriate for Belarusian readers. And by that, I mean any website that isn’t completely in favour of an oppressive government.

The arts have been a major victim of the clamp down, especially in the realm of theatre. Many artists, actors and directors have been arrested or even exiled for attempting to express in their art any kind of disillusionment towards the government. Natalia Kaliada is one such person. Along with her husband Nicolai Khalazin and their friend Vladimir Shcherban, in March 2005 they founded the Free Belarus Theatre.

The Free Belarus Theatre is a theatre company seeking to make their experiences and the harshness of the Belarusian government known to the world. It is the only independent theatre company in Belarus not registered with the government and, with its 29 members, the company performs every week.

The company’s work has been described as “Guerilla Theatre”, and is radical and politicised. As they wish to deal with darker issues such as suicide and sexual minorities, they often face a great deal of resistance from official theatres. Their production of Sarah Kane’s 4.48 Psychosis, for instance, was rejected by all 27 possible venues – because of this they were forced into performing their plays underground and in secret. All 29 of the company’s actors now live in hiding.

There is undoubtedly a very large risk in performing these plays, not only for the actors, but also for the audience. Great precautions are therefore taken to ensure their safety. Plays are performed deep in forests under the guises of parties, Christmas celebrations, or even weddings. Audience members do not go straight to the venues either; they get texted a rendezvous location and are taken from there to the performance area. The company continues to perform under such extreme pressure and risk because it’s their only means of free expression.

now lives in London. When asked earlier this month on BBC World News’ HARDtalk how she could still maintain a commitment to the cause when exiled, she simply replied with “Skype”. She explained that as the directors either she or her husband would simply video call the actors over the internet, and being able to see them, they could direct with ease.

Kaliada has highlighted what could become a key tool in her company’s mission to raise awareness – the internet. With it, the world can become a much more united place. The broadcasting of plays over the internet from venue to venue has become a common practice in certain theatres, and with this technology The Free Belarus Theatre may finally be able to achieve a rallying call for seismic political change.

The National Theatre in London regularly broadcasts their plays, in a live-streaming service called The National Theatre Live. After five years of live streaming since its launch in 2009, their broadcasts have been viewed by over 1.5 million people in 500 venues in 38 countries around the world.

Performances are filmed in front of a live audience, but cameras are placed all around the auditorium to ensure that the audience get “the best seat in the house”. The National Theatre Live acts as a convenient medium for those wanting to see top quality performances, but are unable to go to London to the actual theatre.

A collaboration therefore between The National Theatre Live and The Free Belarus Theatre could spark the wave of awareness and action the company has been waiting for. A partnership between the two could move in a multitude of ways: potentially, The Free Belarus Theatre could adopt the medium of live streaming and increase their audience hugely on a worldwide scale.

This would also mean a large portion of the audience would be in considerably less risky positions viewing plays. Alternatively, The National Theatre Live could start broadcasting to Belarus, and widen the scope of the theatre available to Belarusian audiences. A whole world of possibilities has opened up to The Free Belarus Theatre with today’s technology. It is now time for them to use it.

To raise awareness of the injustices of the Belarusian government, the company has travelled (or in reality, has smuggled itself) to other countries, especially ones that have similarly oppressive regimes, and have performed their plays there. They have performed in refugee camps in Morocco, Bangladesh and India.

Of course, right now this all may be impossible. The National Theatre Live may not want to jeopardize their reputation as a service by taking part in something that could potentially have them blocked in a country by their government. Or The Belarus Free Theatre may never get the chance to broadcast anything as they could also be hacked and blocked by the KGB.

In 2010, however, the company was invited to perform at The Young Vic in London, in an event organised by campaigning organisation Index on Censorship. They performed two plays, firstly Numbers, a play that explored modern Belarus through its statistics, such as: “13 model agencies, in collaborations with the Ministry of Culture sold Belarusian young women into sexual slavery”. Their second play was Discover Love, an emotionally driven piece about a couple torn apart by the regime. These performances were received with standing ovations, and were clearly effective in raising awareness.

But what we should take from this is the promise of the future and the direction in which we are heading. With the help of the internet, the arts and the theatre can overcome regimes and rally political upsurges. The Free Belarus Theatre already has a partnership and residency with Falmouth University in Cornwall where they can safely perform, so their reach is growing by the day. And you can help too – from seeing their plays to ‘housing an actor’, a service they offer on their website. To quote Natalia Kaliada, to stop the injustice of the Belarusian government, we must “stop talking, and just act”.

Three years ago however, Natalia Kaliada was arrested with her husband, and was eventually exiled. She

Anthony Rickman

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STAGE Our Drama society is about to celebrate its fiftieth anniversary, and Vision has worked with the society to provide a profile of the celebrations. Read on to find out about what DramaSoc has been up to in the past few years...

50

YEARS OF DRAMASOC

Drama Society celebrates its Fiftieth Anniversary this year.

Starting in Week Ten, they will be hosting a plethora of events to celebrate, including special performances, celebrity appearances and a charity auction.

It’s a week that Drama Society Chair Zoe Biles hopes will be something very special, and is glowing with pride: “This really will show how far we’ve come since the good old days of 25 audience members in Central Hall.”

Among the treats in store is the return of the established tradition of ‘Play-InA-Day’ where we get to watch as an entire performance is created from the ground up; from writing the script, to rehearsal, to the final performance in the evening.

This has been performed annually for the past few years,

and is always a hit with audiences.

For all the vintage fans among us there will also be a Grease sing-along alongside a picnic during the day.

On Thursday, we’ll be able to enjoy a look back on the history of the society, with a return of award winning playwright and York Alumnus Simon Stephens, writer of The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Nighttime, to his spiritual homeland.

They will be going back over the history of the society and remembering many of its various highlights, in collaboration with ComedySoc, Gilbert and Sullivan Society, and CHYMS. As well as all this we will be getting a preview of all the upcoming shows which will be making their way to the Edinburgh Fringe this year.

S h a k e s p e a r e ’s

comic classic As You Like It will be given a summer term reworking, in Derwent’s ‘The Quiet Place’ where hopefully they can make use of the unique atmosphere and natural surroundings to create an interesting and memorable performance.

On the final day there will be a charity auction for all sorts of things that have been left in the Barn over the years, the members then celebrating with a final drink.

However, the most exciting thing about the week is the introduction of an incredibly ambitious archival system. Every play performed, past and present, will be meticulously stored with detailed photographs and cast lists, so that fans and students alike can look back on their memories.

Zoe Biles, DramaSoc chair, talks about the celebrations

Photos: Tim Kelly

This year, York DramaSoc celebrates its 50th Anniversary: how far we’ve come since the good old days of 25 audience members in Central Hall.

There is a lot to celebrate: the shows, the people, the progress. There have been over 300 plays performed within DramaSoc. For the last few years, the line up has been one show per week – that’s eight shows a term. Multiply this by two when including our fantastic Open Drama Nights.

The range is amazing, and the quality impressive. DramaSoc is first and foremost, and has always been, a platform for people to quite literally perform, put on, write and produce whatever they want. Over the years, the people involved have been wide-ranging and extraordinary – everyone from Simon Stephens, Anthony Horowitz, Nick Payne and Greg Dyke himself have been involved with the society, going onto achieve illustrious and successful careers. The progress has been vast. The society is proud to fund the incredible work of independent student theatre companies at

the Edinburgh Fringe and other renowned theatre festivals.

Incoming grants have meant constant work and improvements to our beloved Drama Barn, and have seen York host the prestigious International University Drama Festival.

The 50th Anniversary, being held throughout Week 10, is a non-stop celebration commemorating the work of countless people. As well as numerous events, including an inter-performance society sports day, and our famous ‘Play-In-A-Day’, we will be holding a fantastic question and answer session with notable DramaSoc alumni, including Simon Stephens (playwright, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime). We will also be unveiling an incredible work in progress – an archival system mapping all the shows and members that have ever been a part of DramaSoc. This will allow current and leaving members to create their own profiles and chart their own time at York.

The society is, essentially, a community of committed and extremely creative people who

– whether they watch plays, are part of them, write them, or direct them – have impacted upon the society and have allowed the society to be a huge part of their lives. Some will go on to be the next revolutionary faces of British theatre, some will never act again. Yet the continually growing and thriving society will aim to always be an integral part of university life. Here’s to the next 50 years.

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TV

FLUNKING OUT: the strange failure of american college tv Vision TV Editor, TOM DAVIES, takes a look at the consistent failure to succesfully bring college life to the US small screen...

C

ollege is a peculiarly American concept.

In this country, college is somewhere you went to do your A-levels if your school didn’t have a sixth form, your school did have a sixth form but you felt there wasn’t a high enough density of people who could lend you a rizla at lunch, or you did a trade BTEC or a radio production course.

In America, as I’m sure you are aware, ‘college’ is what we call ‘university’. The cultural portrayals of it have raised it up to semi-mythical proportions. If you were to purely believe your television or films like Animal House, college for our cross Atlantic cousins is something akin to a kind of intellectual Gomorrah in which people converse entirely in inane chants and cries of “WOOOOOOOO COLLEEEEEEGE!” In Britain we portray our higher education system a little differently. As in all things, the British visual arts are dogged by self deprecation, self loathing and entrenched snobbery. On TV our only successful attempt at portraying university is Fresh Meat, from the people behind Peep Show. Which, like its spiritual predecessor, is lashed with faintly dark, often cringe-worthy humour, in which a cast of deeply flawed, occasionally downright unlikeable characters are foiled and embarrassed at every turn.

It’s hilarious, and I love Fresh Meat, but in the States, they do things a little differently. British television has never shared the American love of simplicity in its sitcom plots, having also shirked the wave of Friends “bunch of twenty somethings live in a big city” shows which have swamped US networks since the early noughties. In Britain, we feel like a show should have something more than just being “people at university” and, although we’ve never really tried the alternative, we’ve been proved largely right.

The problem is that American college shows have never really worked out. College films like Animal House, Van Wilder, Revenge of the Nerds and the like are generally considered classics. The shows have names you’ve probably never heard of: Glory Daze, Undeclared and probably the only one to ever have a modicum of success, Greek.

Unlike films which are more throwaway and require less commitment, they generally get no viewer base from people above college age; there’s just nothing there for them. Furthermore, college students themselves aren’t even tuning in because they’re already there. If they want to experience college they need only step outside. The main audience then is people who have yet to go but really want to, or by virtue of not being American are unlikely to, and thus enjoy the escapism the shows give them.

Glory Daze and Undeclared were both one and done flops.

Greek, which I love, similarly struggled in the ratings, but what it had which led to it being thrice renewed when so many before it failed was that it did provide something different. Greek gave a broader and more nuanced view of Fraternities and Sororities (which in themselves are probably the only genuinely unique concept in American college culture), following the trials and tribulations of members of not just the ‘party’ frat, but the obligatory rival ‘snooty’ frat and the ‘popular girl’ sorority (the trite punch

Whatever happened to hangover TV? In the early 2000s, hungover Saturday and Sunday mornings were bliss. Hungover students all over the country could wake up to Alexa Chung or Simon Amstell, who were probably hungover too, and spend hours watching Hollyoaks, The Simpsons or Friends.

But at some point in the last five years, television completely gave up on the thousands of young people who spend every Saturday and Sunday morning lying on the sofa, downing coffee and cursing the day they were born. Every show which was designed to help us through the morning after a night out has been scrapped in favour of shows about old people cooking, old people moving house or old people riding horses.

Why?! Why has television foresaken us?!

line, deep down we’re all the same). The show was also strongly lauded for its portrayal of an athletic, jock frat boy and ‘snooty house’ legacy coming out as homosexual in an environment in which latent homophobia is more or less par for the course.

Other shows which succeeded to some degree like Felicity deviated from the Animal House ‘because college’ format by relegating the college aspect into just a setting for a story which was really about something else, in this case her endless whingeing.

“As in all things, the British visual arts are dogged by self deprecation, self loathing and entrenched snobbery” What this tells us is what we probably already knew. A TV show can’t just be a string of thematic, visually pleasing stimuli.

Just designing a crop of ‘zany’ characters who complement each other, filming shots of them drinking out of red cups and having romantic misadventures, then arranging themes into something vaguely resembling a chronological order (which was basically what Undeclared and Glory Daze were) is not enough.

Maybe the Brits are right on this one. I don’t accept that the British way of doing TV is intrinsically right. Sometimes I want to actually like the protagonists of a show. But ultimately a college show, like any other show, has to be about something more, otherwise it just feels empty. History tells us they’ll never thrive in the ratings, so they have to have a heart, a point and something to give the network executives a reason to renew them. Until the kind of people who make these shows realise that, those of us who wish Animal House was 200 hours long will continue to be disappointed.

THEN

NOW

From 2001-2007, Channel 4 brought us Popworld every Sunday morning, where we could watch Simon Amstell reduce Britney Spears to tears.

Now, we have Saturday Kitchen on BBC1, where we can watch middle aged men taunt us with recipes we will never be able to afford to make ourselves.

Remember T4? Remember when you had Shipwrecked, Friends, Desperate Housewives and Futurama to help you get through your hangover?

Horse racing: because every hungover person needs a reminder that, while they’re dying in bed, there are people awake and doing EXERCISE.

CD:UK encompassed everything that was great about Noughties weekend TV. Cat Deely, Ant, Dec, and music videos which required very little concentration. It was so perfect.

Escape to the Country encompasses everything that is terrible about today’s weekend TV. I’d rather escape to 2006, before CD:UK was taken from us.

Zena Jarjis

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The Horror of Hologram

R

ecently, Michael Jackson has had more successes to add to his huge career. He got another number one album with second posthumous offering ‘Xscape’, making him one of the only artists to have a number one album in each decade of their career, and another top ten single with ‘Love Never Felt So Good’ featuring Justin Timberlake. However, the biggest achievement is the 3D hologram at the Billboard Music Awards performing ‘Slave To The Rhythm’. On a night that featured Robin Thicke’s embarrassing apology to his wife, and Kendall Jenner admitting she’s not a good reader, the performance was certainly the highlight. It was the result of over a year’s planning, filming and choreography – and it all paid off. With Michael’s famous dance moves and unique vocals present, it made a lot of people happy to see him as they remembered him.

Yet it’s almost caused as much controversy as it has happiness, with many people claiming that the hologram is not of Michael Jackson but of an impersonator and by looking closely at the face it is clear to see why that is the case. In my opinion, this couldn’t be more disrespectful, especially to his family. Of course it wouldn’t be a physical embodiment for obvious reasons, but in all honesty you shouldn’t use an impersonator then claim it’s him, out of respect at least.

“The interaction with the audience made the hologram more realistic, yet more tragic” There has been a surge of fury over the actual video itself, with people claiming it differs from his usual style. It had elements of Cirque du Soleil and weird masked dancers that would not look out of place in Daft Punk, not something I, nor many fans, would associate with the King of Pop. He was in charge of everything in his videos from the filming to the choreography in his performances, and that performance would almost be a destruction of his legacy. It didn’t have the usual finesse of Jackson’s performances and, though the background of the animation had a slight resemblance to his ‘Remember the Time’ video, it was hard to see the similarities between Michael and the 3D image. It was almost like his legacy was being crushed – pretty devastating considering this was the highlight of a pretty boring awards ceremony.

Jackson’s reappearance highly contrasts with the hologram of Tupac at Coachella festival in 2012. As one of the biggest music festivals in the world, Coachella is the perfect place to make a memorable performance, as people flock from all over the world to attend. Amongst a weekend that included Pulp reuniting for their American fans, the performance was the main attraction and was internet gold within minutes. Performing alongside Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg, it was a rap fan’s dream. The interaction with the audience made the hologram more realistic albeit more tragic, as Tupac was cruelly taken before he could make this huge impact in a festival setting in his lifetime. By saying “What the fuck is up Coachella?” this animation was almost human and with the names

behind it (James Cameron’s imaging companies, by no means) it is understandable why. Unlike Jackson’s though, it wasn’t a 3D hologram but a 2D projection and was described as “genius”, considering he delivered material not performed in his lifetime like Jackson.

His exit was as cool as his entrance by exploding into a ball of light, almost symbolic of his explosion of talent. Watching the animation reminds us of what a great talent Tupac was and now a lot of people like him because it’s cool and that he’s a tragic feature which for some unknown reason, is inspirational to the youth of today.

With these hologram performances, the most disrespectful part has to be the fact that they perform material not known by their fans in their lifetime. Although this material can be good (Michael Jackson’s latest album is proof of that), they may not have wanted the material to go out. It may have been left off a record for a reason. It may have been associated with a person or a memory they want to forget about. Apparently in the case of ‘Xscape’, all the songs on the album was material that was considered for his other albums ‘Off The Wall’, Dangerous’ and ‘Bad’, but didn’t make the cut.

There must have been a reason for this. Even if it’s the simple case of the track wasn’t good enough, it shouldn’t be released as material for a new album. The only thing which should be acceptable for a posthumous album to be released is if the album was complete while the artist was alive and they consented for the album to be released, similarly to a posthumous role in a film by an actor. Similarly, if there are animated music performances by dead musicians, why can’t the same be applied to actors when they accept a posthumous award? The reason it’s not done is because it is disrespectful to the families of the deceased. Talk about double standards.

Although I am ultimately against the use of animation and holograms in music performances, there are some exceptions. Elvis Presley has often been reanimated in music videos with huge success. Unlike Jackson and Tupac, it is not overly creepy or disturbing because the animation consisted of footage that actually exists of him singing the songs rather than make a video just for one performance. He did a duet with country superstar Martina McBride on festive tune ‘Blue Christmas’, whilst he did a live performance of inspirational hit ‘If I Can Dream’ with infamous warbler Celine Dion on ‘American Idol’, a performance which has gone down in history.

Although neither were intended to be duets, they worked perfectly well. If anything, it may have provided Elvis with a new fan base by the songs being re-released by current musicians so more people can hear the great music. That’s not sordid, that’s quite clever.

Now, it’s unclear where we can draw the line in terms of hologram and animation. It seems acceptable to use holograms of dead musicians if it is going to be a talking point and a historic performance. Yet it seems like the eye-watering amount of money spent on these holograms and animations could be used to book huge living musicians rather than animating those who have already made their impact on the music industry.

Mairead Kearins

No more heroes utside of the comfort of our beloved student bubble, the real world is looking pretty bleak right now. We are in the midst of a seemingly never-ending recession, an unpopular government, a miserable job market, and an unsure future for our young people. For the first time in seemingly living memory, the omnipresent three party system is being threatened by rising forces, with UKIP having defied expectation and stormed the European elections in an unprecedented manner. The times are in fact a-changing. From where I’m standing, graduation is looking pretty scary. What are we going to do?

Music has traditionally helped to represent social discontent. The protest song has always been a huge part of popular music. Music has helped battle homophobia, racism, sexism and be a great mechanism of social change. Looking back on history, it seems that popular music has been inextricable from politics. Some of the best music that the UK has ever produced has come from criticising its politics of the day. From Punk to Britpop this relationship has stayed firmly intact. In the 1970s bands like the Sex Pistols and the Clash made their entire careers from lampooning the status quo. It produced some great music as well. The protest music of the 50s and 60s, from the likes of Bob Dylan and Woody

scene

Guthrie spawned some of the most iconic songs of the whole era.

Where are all the songs poking fun at Nigel Farage or David Cameron? Is it still a relationship that is in effect today? The bestselling albums and most critically acclaimed albums of recent times seem to be about escaping the world, not making us look any closer at it.

Though artists like Pussy Riot have managed to raise attention to the injustices of the Putin regime, an undoubtedly brilliant achievement in music is not synonymous with protest as it once was.

“These rebels have become fully integrated into a new establishment.”

Looking back, did all these classic songs ever end up making a lasting change? The hippies challenged the establishment of the day, but did they really change anything significant? That baby boomer generation of the 1960s with their ideals of peace and love ultimately became the establishment that rules over us today. Its key figures like Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney that have retired to their country piles.

In the end, as horrible and as cynical as it sounds, all of these music-based movements ended up failing any-

FEATURES

STUDENT

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SHOOT

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way. Free love never happened. Politicians are still fake, and we’re still getting lied too. The whole idea of music changing the world seems a bit quaint nowadays.

Considering how things turned out in the past, escapism seems as much of a logical reaction to the way the world is as anything else. LAOFO dreck as it may be at least shows our disenfranchisement with the system. But is this all a bad thing? Does music actually stand up for things? In a way, I find it pretty hard to get behind a generation of musicians that aren’t supporting any wider ideas other than just providing entertainment for people.

Perhaps this separation of music from the political sphere is a blessing in disguise. Music is perfectly justifiable as escapism and nothing more, the last thing that the world needs is more Bonos, more self-righteousness for the sake of self-righteousness. Maybe ignoring politics is a political statement in and of itself, and a strong one. Just as young people today choose to spoil their votes, in a defiance of the way things are going, maybe the music we’re all making is following suit. Maybe songwriters today aren’t ignoring what’s going on because they are idle or ignorant – but because they know better. Young people, believe it or not, are more knowledgeable than ever before, and we have computers and mobile phones forced into our hands almost as soon as we can walk. Students have one of the lowest voting rates of any demographic, with many choosing to follow the example of Russell Brand and spoil their votes.

Maybe this generation of young people are intelligently opting out in their song writing just like they did in their vote casting.

ROAD TRIP COMMENTS BLIND DATE 16-17 18-19 20

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I think I’ve realised that, at the end of the day, it’s the music that’s important. Though we’re not living in a loving wonderland, the music of the 1960s is still brilliant, punk is still incendiary and if nothing else RATM is fun to mosh too. The Vietnam war is long gone, but the songs it created are proving timeless.

“Politicians have been screwing up for thousands of years, that’s what they are there for.”

Nothing has really changed. But more people remember Jane Austen than they do the class system which it criticised. Songs inevitably last longer than policies. People have been dancing for a millennium, before anyone ever thought to pick up a pen and write down a constitution. Music was always the best part of protest music. It’s had its day and it was great while it lasted. Maybe music can’t change the world, but that’s okay.

Will McCurdy

10

scene

FASHION

What to Wear

whEre

As Summer is approaching, whether you’re having a city break in Manhattan or going to a festival in Madrid, Vision provides some style inspiration for creating practical yet sophisticated looks to suit each occasion, while also giving some suggestions for what should be on your playlist to get you in the mood. Versatile travellers out there: this is the feature for you.

What to HEAR

HERE

STYLED AND DIRECTED BY SELINA POPE AND IZZI GRAHAM

Goalside College Cup 2014

EXCLUSIVE: BIG MATCH PREVIEWS

GROUP STAGES: THE DEFINITIVE REVIEW

Page 7

Page 4-5

COLLEGE CUP QUARTER-FINALS: DERWENT 1STS 3-0 DERWENT 2NDS

DERWENT 1STS EASE INTO SEMIS

FULL REPORT: 2-3

Photo Credit: Dan Golton

2 <<< College Cup 2014 >>>

DERWENT 1STS 3 -

DERWENT 1STS ON TRACK DERWENT 2NDS were unable to perform a miracle in the first quater final of the college cup, and in the end were easily pushed aside by their college’s 1st team and overall favourites.

This performance did nothing to tarnish the majority view around campus that Derwent 1sts will win the tournament, dominating possession throughout the game and in the end simply having too much quality for Derwent 2nds, today playing in white, and their campaign faded away into the distance.

Derwent quickly established their authority on the match with a long range shot from Eyles, showing quickly the fearlessness of a team in great form at the moment, with the shot just skimming wide.

Eyles continued to be lively in the opening minutes, and provided a dream start for his team in the fifth minute of the game, putting them in the lead with another shot from outside of the area, firing the ball in to the right hand corner. This was a great start for the blues, who needed to take a hold of the game early on in order to avoid panicing and wavering under the pressure of being favourites.

The blues continued to dominate and got the week off to a cracking start in terms of footballing quality, with Naylor administrating some beautiful interchanging of the ball in the middle of the field. The move in the end came to nothing however, with 2nds keeper Charlie Cooper collecting the loose ball in the area, trying to calm down proceedings and allow his team to get into the game.

Their was no chnace of this happening any time soon though, Askym found space on the right side of midfield in the 2nds half, setting Weighall away down the by-line, but the winger couldn’t supply a cross into the box.

Ollie Harrision stepped up to take the majority of set pieces

for the 1sts, and the first corner of the game produced a great save from Cooper, Brandreths header being tipped over when it looked from the sidelines like the blues had doubled their lead.

The 2nds managed an attack halfway through the first half a long throw in reaching Masishi Nozaki who couldn’t get a shot in on goal but did very will to hold the the ball up and keep the attack alive.

They were completly stretched however, and made to work for every ball, struggling to really test Derwent and get the ball out of their half.

1sts were awarded a free kick in a dangerous position when Elvin was penalised by referee Max Brewer, but Ollie Harrison chose the wrong option to pass to Easter who wasn’t able to get a shot away, a waste it seemed but Derwent were in such control that it mattered little.

Bew showed great strength to outmuscle Elvin off the ball, but his shot was off target, with Eryle unable to make contact to divert the ball into the goal.

Weighall took the ball down the byline and supplied a dangerous cross, however again though players were rushing into the box, no knwon was able to provide a finish.

A free kick was awarded against Elvin once again, this time Harrison hit the wall, to the delight of the crowd gathered on the new JLD. Nozaki nearly intercepted Ayletts clearance forward in a rare appearnce in the blues half for the 2nds at the end of the first half, Derwent going into the break inly one goal to the good, meaning even though they were incontrol, they could definitely not relax in the second half.

The 1sts started this half as they finished the first, on top and in control, and they doubled their lead in the opening minutes, Eryle playing through Fotheringham, who did well

to muscle his way into a shooting position but Cooper will feel hard done by, with the shot deflecting off him and into the net, meaning the 1sts now had one foot in the semi final.

The blues were camped out in the 2nds half, refusing to sit back and at times it seemed that the 2nds seemed to lack belief that they could get back into the game, with no one closing down a panicked clearance by Aylett.

Eryle had a great chance to seal the win for Derwent and would have done but for a great same from Cooper. The 2nds keeper then pulled off a tremendous save at point blank range to deny Brondweth, without the keeper by taht point the blues would have been home and dry.

They did seal the win soon after however with Josh Bew getting on the scoresheet after having a quiet game by his standards. Substitute Trant drilled in corner and Bew steered home a great header to sement his side’s place in the semi finals.

A mistake by the 2nds defence was nearly capitalised by Trant, who ran through and finihsed calmly but as the crowd began to sheer his shot floated just wide.

2nds striker Low had a chance to score a consolation goal for his side, doing well to go past two defenders but took a heavy touch and the ball was collected by Aylett.

No suprises then for the first quaterfinal, and Derwent 1sts captain David Belshaw seemed happy with a polished performance from his side, telling Vision ‘It’s not ideally what we wanted (to play our own college) but we did what we had to do and were professional about it especially in the second half we stepped up a gear, so yeah very happy’.

His side will now face either Goodricke or Wentworth 1ts in the semi final next week, ‘It will be a step up’ says David, but with assured performances like this, Derwent will be confident they can march on to the final.

Photo Credit: Dan Golton

0 DERWENT 2NDS

<<< College Cup 2014 >>> 3

Photo Credit: Dan Golton

Photo Credit: Dan Golton

4 <<< College Cup 2014 >>>

THE STORY SO FAR...

ISSAC LISTER REVIEWS THE GROUP STAGES OF THE TOURNAMENT THIS YEAR’S COLLEGE Cup group stages yielded very little in erms of surprise, with the big hitting Firsts teams from James and Derwent as dominant as you would expect, conceding three goals between them in five games. Beyond them it was a question of whether any 2nds teams could upset the apple cart of a Halifax or a Vanbrugh, and plaudits there must go to Derwent 2nds, who (in no small part thanks to cross-over appearances) went unbeaten for the first four games of Group B, hammering in 24 goals in the process to keep them in the race for first which they lost out only to the impresively unbeaten but far less potent Halifax 1sts.

attacking play combined with a very shrewd defence ensured they finished top of the group with a very impressive +24 goal difference. James 2nds, though diligent and creative in their own right, were too prone to lapses in concentration which blotted their copybook and left them five points off the pace. It was too much to ask for Alcuin’s First’s outfit to navigate a group with such strong opposition in spite of a strong haul of 8 points.

Bringing up the rear were Vanbrugh 3rds, Langwith 2nds and Wentworth 3rds, who were just not talented enough to compete at the top end of the group.

the teams, with the exception of Derwent’s strong 2nds team the 1sts, 2nds and 3rds finished in that order.

Vanrbugh 1sts provided the first big shock of the tournament, only managing to claim a place in the plate despite having a very strong side, Derwent’s heroic comeback in the forth week of the cup stunning Vanbrugh and proving that in the cup no team is safe from an upset.

Alcuin 2nds took the second place in the plate while Langwith 3rds finished 5th and will compete in the vase.

GROUP C Hes East pair Goodricke and Langwith 1stss put in a strong showing in Group C, each going unbeaten and toughing it out in a 1-1 draw with each other in their second game. They were almost separated though by Halifax 3rds, whose disciplined defensive setup saw them comfortably overachieve in bettering two Seconds’ sides and just being pipped to 2nd

GROUP B Halifax 1sts topped Group B, defensive solidity outshining the attacking prowess of Derwent 2nds to see them through. Perhaps a dark horse for the Cup, Derwent 2nds are undoubtedly a strong outfit. Group B seemed to directly correlate to the perceived ability of

GROUP A Group A was dominated

by Derwent 1sts, as previously mentioned. Their fluid

place by Langwith on goals scored. The tightest group of the lot, Group C was conspicuous in its abundance of draws and lack of goals scored, and Halifax 3rds will doubtless feel slightly aggrieved to have not finished higher than third in the group after such a strong showing and not loosing any of their games; they will definatley be the dark horse of the plate.

GROUP D Group D was fairly processional with James 1sts as dominant as you would expect, dishing out many hammerings and conceding just one goal. Wentworth 1sts also coasted through the group, as expected of the pair of Firsts sides. Group D was one of the clearer groups with a divide: outside of the top two it was fairly even among Derwent 3rds, Goodricke 2nds, Halifax 2nds and Alcuin 3rds, who struggled to compete with the more polished Firsts sides.

Photo credit: Danial Golton

Group B

Group A P

W

D

L

GS

GC

GD

Pts

Derwents 1st

5

5

0

0

26

2

+24

15

James 2nds

5

3

1

1

9

6

+3

Alcuin 1sts

5

2

2

1

8

8

Vanbrugh 3rds

5

2

0

3

5

Langwith 2nds

5

0

2

3

Wentworth 3rds

5

0

1

4

P

W

D

L

GS

GC

GD

Pts

Halifax 1sts

5

4

1

0

12

2

+10

13

10

Derwent 2nds

5

3

1

1

24

8

+16

1o

0

8

Vanbrugh 1sts

5

2

2

1

12

6

+6

8

9

-4

6

Alcuin 2nds

5

1

3

1

6

7

-1

6

1

11

-10

2

Langwith 3rds

5

1

0

4

4

19

-15

3

2

15

-13

1

Goodricke 3rds

5

0

1

4

2

18

-16

1

<<< College Cup 2014 >>> 5

ALCUIN

DERWENT

HIGH: 2nds take points from the two 1st teams in their group.

LOW: 1sts fail to qualify for cup for second year in a row.

HIGH: 2nd fight back against Vanbrugh to ensure a place in the cup.

LOW: 3rds thrashed 9-1 by James 1sts.

Stat: 1sts have the worst goal difference (0) of all the 1st teams.

STAT: 2nds are highest scoring non 1st team with 24 goals in 5 matches.

Player: Andy Fernando GRADES

PLAYER Alex D’albertanson GRADES 1sts 2nds 3rds A+ A C

1sts C

2nds B-

3rds D

JAMES

LANGWITH

HIGH: 1sts qualify easily and 2nds edge out Alcuin 1sts to sceure place in cup.

Low: 3rds have to settle for vase in 5th place.

Stat: 1sts concede only one goal in 5 games and have best goal difference (30).

Player: Ralph Gill

STAT: 1st and 3rds are joint 2nd with Derwent 1sts on least number of goals conceded.

PLAYER: Dalton Harris

PLAYER: Garo Heath

1sts A

GRADES 2nds C

VANBRUGH

STAT: 3rds concede 16 goals in first 3 games before scoring any.

STAT: 1sts are highest scoring team ( 12 goals) to miss out on a place in the cup.

PLAYER: Matt Morton

Player: Harry O’Brian

3rds C

1sts C

GRADES 2nds C-

3rds A

WENTWORTH

HIGH: 1sts qualify for cup in second place, improving on their fourth place finish last year.

LOW: Both other teams knocked out of the competition in last place of their groups.

STAT: 2nds fail to secure any points and are only team to do so.

Player: Wayne Paes GRADES 1sts 2nds B+ E

3rds C+

Group C

GRADES 2nds C

1sts B

3rds C-

Low: 1sts loose 3-1 lead Derwent 2nds to finish outside of cup places.

1sts B

LOW: 2nds thrashed 8-0 by James 1sts.

STAT: 3rds concede 13 goals in first two games.

LOW: Thirds Hammered 9-0

by Derwent 2nds.

3rds C-

2nds A

HIGH: 1sts and 3rds unbeaten in the group stages.

LOW: 3rds finish last of group B with one point.

HIGH: 1sts score nine and concede just one in opening three matches

GRADES 2nds D

HALIFAX

HIGH: 1sts are yet to loose and top group C.

HIGH: 1sts qualify for the cup, a major improvment on their fifth place finish last year.

GRADES 1sts A+

GOODRICKE

3rds D-

Group D

P

W

D

L

GS

GC

GD

Pts

P

W

D

L

GS

GC

GD

Pts

Goodricke 1

5

3

2

0

16

1

+16

11

James 1sts

5

5

0

0

30

1

+29

15

Langwith 1sts

5

3

2

0

10

5

+5

11

Wentworth 1sts

5

4

1

0

15

2

+13

11

Halifax 3rds

5

3

2

0

7

2

+5

11

Halifax 2nds

5

2

0

3

5

15

-10

6

Vanbrugh 2nds

5

2

0

3

9

12

-3

6

Derwent 3rds

5

1

1

3

11

15

-4

6

James 3rds

5

1

0

4

6

14

--8

3

Goodricke 2nds

5

1

0

4

4

8

-4

4

Wentworth 2nds

5

0

0

5

5

10

-15

0

Alcuin 3rds

5

1

0

4

3

21

-18

3

6 <<< College Cup 2014 >>>

LANGWITH 2NDS 3 ALCUIN 4THS 0 LANGWITH 2NDS CRUISE THROUGH TO VASE SEMIS OLLIE MEAKIN

Photo Credit: Daniel Golton

A drab game played in difficult conditions on the new JLD, saw Langwith 2’s put three goals past Alcuin 4’s in a comfortable victory. Alcuin faced tough competition from a far superior Langwith side, and the monsoon like conditions made their job no easier.

Alcuin were on the back foot from the beginning, with Langwith managing to keep possession and slowly work their way towards the Alciun goal. The Langwith midfield on Louis Pegg and Jack Parsonson dominated play, mak-

ing it difficult for Alcuin to progress through the centre and forced the ball onto the wings.

The first goal came from a goalkeeping error from Will Thurloway, who came to collect a ball from a cross, but was beaten to it by tall striker Matt Morton who slotted close from home.

Alcuin were clearly deflated from going behind having managed to contain most of Langwith’s attempts to score.

The second half saw Alciun come back into the game, exploiting the flanks, with winger Andrew Frost providing a few moments of skill . An

excellent save from Will Thurloway prevented Langwith scoring from a free kick from twenty yards out. However, Tom Rudden was to extended Langwith’s lead to two goals, with a beautiful half volley with his left foot into the top corner of the goal.

A moment of controversy in the last 5 minutes saw Jack Parsonson score, but only with Tom Rudden fouling Will Thurloway in the process.

Deliberation between Alciun manager and the referee made no change to the decision, and the goal was to stand despite protest from every Alcuin player.

PLATE PREVIEW HELENA SUTCLIFFE THIS YEAR’S PLATE will feature two 1sts teams who will both be the clear favourites to perform well, Vanbrugh and Alcuin both missing out on a converted place in the cup.

While it was a tough ask for Alcuin to make it out of their group, with Derwent 1sts and James 2nds to compete with, with the quality that Vanbrugh have in their side, they will be disappointed to have missed out on a qualification place.

They can still end the season on a high however, with the plate providing the opportunity for one college to still gain some silverware and there is sure to be plenty of drama.

Alcuin and Vanbrugh would be foolish to underestimate their

competition however, 1sts teams or not, with many other sides having shown impressive play and plenty of thirst to win. Both of the other Vanburgh sides will be competing, making it increasingly likely that they are the college who will triumph in this years plate, they will see it is a chance missed if they don’t at least have one team in the final.

Alcuin 1sts will also have to compete with their own college, battling it out against Alcuin 2nds on Thursday in their quarter final showdown. Alcuin 2nds have had an indifferent campaign, with six points in five matches. Again the 1sts will be disappointed if they don’t come away with a win.

The dark horses of the plate

will no doubt be Halifax 3rds, who have had an extraordinary campaign so far, going unbeaten for all in the groups and conceding two goals.

Both Alcuin and Vanbrugh 1sts definitely have a point to prove in this year’s plate and will be hoping they can show they have the quality and determination to pull through a successful campaign.

Though they will be disappointed not to have made it into the cup, a triumph in the plate will still be an achievement, and will require their full resolve.

As for the other teams, if they can cause an upset and end the year with a victory, no doubt they will be delighted and they can go into the competition with no fear.

Photo Credit: Daniel Golton

<<< College Cup 2014 >>> 7

Goodricke 1sts vs Wentworth 1sts Tuesday, 4pm GIBSON

MANN

CRAWLY ASHAST

PARKER

PAES

OLSEN

COX SOWDANI

GILLBANKS HARRIS LYNCH PAPOUI

NEIL

OSBOURNE COTTINGHAM

KONSUNALP BOWDON

BOYLE

LEWIS

KEANE

LYNCH

Projected line-ups

BY HELENA SUTCLIFFE

LAST YEAR’S HOLDER’S Halifax 1sts will continue the defence of their precious title in the quarterfinal of the knockout stages, against the dangerous and unpredictable James 2nds.

The holders have had a mixed campaign so far and got off to a slow start in their first game, drawing 1-1 against Alcuin 2nds. They swiftly recovered however in the following fixtures, winning the games that would matter the most against Vanbrugh 1sts and Derwent 2nds to top the group and stay unbeaten in the tournament so far. Garo Heath has had a particularly strong campaign, with three goals and two assists to his name and fax will be hoping he can produce more of the same to help his team progress.

Gio Pilides and Kieran Gennoy have also impressed in midfield and if along with captain Connor McCoy they are allowed space to pull the strings from the middle they will be able to create chances, which they have proved they can capitalise on, having scored twelve goals in the five group games. In a challenging encounter they will look to the experience of veterans Jonny Sim and Alex Tringham, who may play a big part in helping the team see the game through if they take the lead, Sim proving to be solid as ever in goal for his side.

The defence of the cup will be tough how-

ever, with James 2nds also having a lot of quality in their side. Their form so far mirrors their opponents, starting negatively but gradually improving. They lost their first game to Derwent 1sts and had to wait until their third game to get a win on the board. Still they will be difficult to break down, Andy Balzan having had a great year between the posts and defenders Axford and Steel also impressing at the back.

Matt Singleton is one of the top scorers of the tournament so far and 1sts Captain Ralph Gill has pinned him as one of the players to watch; fax may have to monitor the striker carefully as he has proved to be a great goal poacher in front of the target. With Alhasan and Baker in support, even in a 2nds team James can put to the field a very strong outfit and Halifax will not be underestimating their task if they want to hold on to their title.

Therfore the 1st vs 2nds headline should not provide the illusion that Haifiax will be the definate favourites for this match.

On paper, this looks to be perhaps the closest fixture of the week, both teams having similar strengths and having shared similar form so far in the competition. This makes the prospect of the match all the more exciting and we can be sure to witness much drama in this encounter down on the JLD.

James 1sts vs Langwith 1sts Friday, 10am EDWARDS

GILL

FERRAO

ELLIOT

SANGHA

PICKERSGILL

PEGG

FOX BRIARSDAVIES

BRADLEY

SARAFAN

JONES

HUTT MORTON

CHAIMO CAMPBELL

SPURLING

JOPSON

CHESHIRE

PARSONSON

Projected line-ups

BENNY

BY ISAAC LISTER TUESDAY 12th JUNE SEES the titans of Goodricke take on the giants of Wentworth, making them both comparatively about the same size. This College Cup quarter-final is one that will in all likelihood see a war of attrition, with both sides favouring structural play and refusing to give an inch in hope of making it through to the semi-finals.

Though Goodricke are a rigid outfit favouring banks of four, they justly rely on the creativity of Joe Mann to create movement in between the lines and open up the opposition.

Mann’s ingenuity combined with well timed runs from wingers Fabian Ashurst and Simon Hurst engineers plenty of crossing opportunities from which powerful striker Dalton Harris can only benefit. Tracking Harris closely is something Wentworth will have to be wary of, while simultaneously shutting down Mann and squeezing up on the wingers so they can’t get in behind. It’s as hard as it sounds.

That said, the Postgrads of Wentworth are no mugs. Goals permeate the side with the likes of Wayne Paes and Dan Bawdon getting in on the action (the pair have seven goals and six assists between them in the groups).

Wentworth’sthreat is in bursts from mid-

field and therefore Goodricke must be wary of sitting the midfield too high in their attacking endeavours as a quick pass to Paes or Bawdon would leave the men in green wide open.

That’s where Goodricke fall down.

Their goal threat, though potent, is formulaic, and such is Wentworth’s ability to conjure something from nothing by committing to box to box action in midfield that they pose a far more unpredictable threat and should come through this contest the victors.

If Goodricke can take full advantage of Wentworth when they do commit bodies forward, the ball will quickly be released first out wide and secondly into the back of the net. But if Goodricke drop too deep to maintain their shape, Wentworth can ramp up the pressure and the ball will end up in the Goodricke net.

So expect goals. Expect end to end blood and thunder action, and expect whoever is ultimately victorious to have either held nerves of steel in defence or have lost a solid litre’s worth of sweat in pushing back the opposition’s midfield to force the ball home.

Halifax 1sts vs James 2nds Thursday, 4pm HOWARTH

BULL

BOEDON

BAKER

PILIDES

STEEL

JONES HEATH

SIM TRINGHAM

BROOKS

BY HELENA SUTCLIFFE

AXFORD

HOSIER

GENNOY

SINGLETON ALHASAN HARESNAPE

McCOY

BOEDT

BALZAN LANE

EMBLETON

Projected line-ups

THE FINAL QUATER FINAL of the week sees tournament high flyers James 1sts take on the much improved Langwith 1sts, a team seen as a lost cause to many but have proved the doubters wrong this year, scrapping through to the knockout stages in their last game of the groups on goals scored.

As a 1sts side, the expectation is to progress through to the knockout stages of the cup, however with Langwith’s previous affairs, getting to this stage alone is a definite achievement for the team. They’ve shown themselves to be a side not to be underestimated, confirmed in the second game of the tournament when they frustrated Goodricke 1sts, earning a 1-1 draw.

They showed a fighting spirit to come from a goal down to steal a win from Vanbrugh 2nds, and last week commanded their game against James 3rds to set up a face-off with James.

The swans cruised through their group, thrashing Halifax 2nds 8-0 and firing nine past Derwent 3rds. They have been known to go all out in the groups and later fade away during the knockout rounds, but their sizzling form this year will keep them confident they have the quality to go the length this year; Langwith will look however to stand in their way.

Langwith star man Matt Morton provides their main attacking threat, with two assists

and a couple of goals to boast already, he will need a decent supply from captain Marcus Campbell and Louis Pegg to give them a chance of progressing further in the competition.

This will be a tough ask for the yellows, with James having won all four of their games and holding the best defensive record of the competition, conceding a single goal. Captain Ralph Gill has commanded his defence and created a brick wall almost impossible break through, with Gill also managing a number of assists and goals along the way.

It’s not only the defence Langwith will worry about though, the flare of James Briars and precision of James Davies create an attacking force that will keep Langwith up at night, with a total of 13 goals between them in five games.

With the pace and finishing of Freddie Ferrao and passing quality of Josh Spurling increasing their attack, Langwith will hope solid defenders Jones and Chaimo will be able to cope with the constant pressure James like to force on their opponents, and have the safe hands of Kris Cheshie between the sticks.

This may not be enough for them however and the yellows may have to adpot Jose Mourinho’s new favourite tactic and park the bus, they would definitely be the happeir side if the game goes to penalties.

8 <<< College Cup 2014 >>>

BOWING OUT

Helena Sutcliffe speaks to 4 players playing in their final tournament this year FROM WEEK THREE to week nine of the summer term, the college cup takes over for the football cummunity of the univeristy and those supporting their college through the tournament.

For many of course, this will be their final outing in the college cup, a compeition that will have well and trully dominated their summer term for the past three or four years. For these boys in particular, their will be an added spice in the knock out stages as they hope for a perfect farewell, and aim to make sure their final tournament is one to remember.

For the players taking part, there can be moments ranging from disbelief to heartache, and the anticipation for the tournament must build up for them in the first two terms of the year.

This is what Jonny Sim, Halifax’s safe pair of hands in goal, remembers from his first tournament; ‘My first memory of the College Cup is actually all the hype that goes before it.

Its all anyone talks about for months beforehand, so when you’re a first year you can’t wait to find out what all the fuss is about!’

None of the newcomers would have been able to imagine how competitive the competition becomes though, the thirst of winning turing into an unavoidable addiction, as players and supporters alike search for the bragging rights of the university.

This year’s tournament has had it’s fair share of controversioal moments so far, with pitch invasions a plenty, something that also stands out for James Briars from his first

Derwent 1sts Derwent 2nds

tournament;‘my first memory of college cup was playing for James 2’s against Halifax 1’s in first year. We won 1-0 when our captain scored an absolute screamer, the crowd went absolutely nuts’.

For James, his final tournament is already standing out as his best campaign;‘Probably this year actually (has been his best), I didn’t score in my first 2 years which is pretty terrible. So I was kind of relieved when I got a goal against Alcuin 3’s. It was a beautiful dinked chip which floated in at the back post, shame it was meant as a cross really’.

Derwent’s Alex D’albertanson doesn’t quite have the same fond memories of his introduction to the cup. ‘First game. Think it was against Goodricke 2s. Big crowd. Was playing for the Derwent first team and had done well in the winter leagues so the captain had given me a value of 8.1 million in the fantasy football. My first touch I shanked it out of play to the delight of the crowd except one guy who shouted “What the hell was that d’Albertanson, I just paid 8 million for you you t***!”

He also has fondest memories from this year, showing already that the tournament has lived up to expectation and is producing a great deal of memories.

Alex has had an impressive tournament, a few braces in particlur stick out in his mind;‘Hat trick against Langwith 3s this year, volley against Halifax 3s first year were both good. Best probably coming back from 3-1 down to draw with Vanbrugh for Derwent 2nds a few weeks ago - scored and got an as-

SEMI-FINAL

Goodricke 1sts Wentworth 1sts

SEMI-FINAl

SEMI-FINAL

COLLEGE PLATE

SEMI-FINAL

COLLEGE VASE FINAL

Halifax 1sts James 2nds

Langwith 1sts James 1sts

Vanbrugh 1sts Vanbrugh 3rds SEMI-FINAL

FINAL

Halifax 3rds Derwent 3rds

James 3rds James 4ths

COLLEGE CUP

it’ll still be tough ask’.

Sim also has high expectations of how he’d like his colege cup finale; ‘With a fourth final in a row and a third College Cup title! The consensus might be that we are a long way from being favourites this year, but I think we have as good a chance as any to go on and win.’

His teamate Alex Tringham is hoping he can remember this year as one where he accomplishes what would be an extrodinary feat ‘Win again this year. If I do then I will have won 3 college cups in a row (the year halifax lost in the final I was on placement) not sure if that been done before? That would be amazing’.

Alex D’albertanson will be hoping that he hasn’t already played his last game in the cup, ‘well I’m on holiday so missing the rest of the games. Hopefully back for the final if Derwent get there’. His side are seen by many as favourites to win, but if last year’s competition is anything to go by, Derwent college especially will know nothing is garenteered and that they will not be able to undestimate any of their oposition if they want to achieve his hope of playing in the final.

Not all four will be able to get their wish of how they would like their affiliation with the torunament to end, that is just the way of the game. This of course makes the outcome of the remaing games and tournament on the whole much more exciting, knowing how valued a win would be to each college and particually to those who will have the conclusion as their lasting memory of the colllege cup.

FINAL

Alcuin 1sts Alcuin 2ndss

Langwith 2nds Alcuin 4ths

sist. Great feeling as they were a really good side so to qualify for the cup (and knock them out) we probably overachieved’.

Halifax’s Alex Trngham also remember’s the very passionate atmosphere standing out in his first tournament. ‘Cant remember an exact memory, but being heckled frm the sidelines. Takes a while to get use to’.

This tournament will have a lot to live up to for Alex, who has many fond recolections of his time playing for Halifax ‘best moment, scoring the second goal from a free kick in the final a few years ago to go 2-0 up. Everyone including the crowd piled on me. Great feeling!

Also winning the player points last year with a new record was a great acheivement’.

Sim has also had many heroic tournaments, understandably finding it hard to pick one memory as his favourite.‘That’s a tough one. The moment we won it in 2011 in my first year was an incredible feeling. But we had been out and out favourites from the start. Last year that definitely wasn’t the case, so I think our miraculous come back against Derwent in the final last year just about clinches it’.

He and Halfiax will again have a tough time defending their title, with James and Alex’s teams in particular providing a great threat of snatching away their title.

There is a similar feeling among the boys about how they’d like their last cup to finish of couse‘;I’d love to bow out with a James College Cup win’, say’s James, ‘with our 3’s already out I’m not sure there’s many teams that can challenge us. Then again, our 2’s are still in it so

Vanbrugh 2nds Halifax 2nds Langwith 3rds Derwent 5ths SEMI-FINAL

Goodricke 2nds Derwent 4ths

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Festival fever

PHOTOGRAPHY BY NATASHA LAU | MODELLED BY ADELA IACOBOV | MUSIC BY MAIREAD KEARINS

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MUSIC

FASHION

Top festivals 2014

MAIREAD KEARINS gives a rundown of this summer’s best festivals.

SUMMER PLAYLISTS

be

Revamp your Spotify this Summer with some songs to accompany your lazy days in the sun/British rain.

Transport yourself to a sunny beach, Ibiza, the inner city or a crazy festival.

Wireless

Ideal for the R&B lover, Wireless is a force to be reckoned with. With headliners including Drake, Bruno Mars and Kanye West, it’s the ideal start for the festival virgin.

Music Editor, Mairead Kearins has some suggestions, and if you have any other songs which spice up your summer to suggest, tweet us at @YorkVision!

Don’t forget to follow our playists on Spotify!

Beach Chic Latitude

The coolest festival for the indie kid with a line-up to match. Two Door Cinema Club and Damon Albarn will be performing fan favourites to the crowds in Suffolk.

Remind yourself you’re in tropical paradise with summery club beats. Duke Dumont creates the image of the Caribbean even if you’re not there, and Mr Probz has the hit of the summer in ‘Waves’. Clean Bandit have the ideal balance of mellow and dance with recent single ‘Extraordinary’.

City Style V Festival

Popular with celebrities, V Festival has something to offer everyone, ranging from Ed Sheeran to The Killers.

Ideal for those who want to do a bit of Spot The Celeb on the side.

For a fast-paced holiday, calm yourself down with a mellow sound. Capital Cities and Sara Bareilles have an upbeat sound that provides the optimism needed to go sightseeing and pacing the city streets, whereas up-and-coming artist Vance Joy gives a sense of relaxing guitar whilst cycling the streets of Amsterdam.

Festival Creamfields

If you want Ibiza without the heat, Creamfields is perfect for you. The dance music festival of the year, club heavyweights Avicii, Steve Angello and Deadmau5 will make sure you’ll be dancing the whole weekend.

Listen to music to get you in the mood for a weekend of music and mud. Festival favourites Arctic Monkeys are ideal for this with catchy lyrics and great basslines, with newbies The 1975 and Haim following in their footsteps with unique vocals and girl power.

Going Out Glam Reading & Leeds

If you want a weekend of head-banging, and electric guitars, R&L is a popular choice amongst young people for atmosphere. With festival favourites Arctic Monkeys and 1990’s favourites Blink 182, this festival will continue to be popular for years to come.

Getting ready to great music will hype you up for the evening ahead. Ellie Goulding sets the tone for a night of dancing and romance with the lyrics. Similarly, Sam Smith and Lorde have a mellow approach for creating the mood for a great night with their electronic beats.

STYLED AND DIRECTED BY SELINA POPE AND IZZI GRAHAM

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each CITY chic STYLE

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Destination Dining

FINE DINING

Mugaritz is a restaurant in the ultimate foodie town: San Sebastián. It is consistently ranked as one of the best restaurants in the world, and offers an experience like no other. Head chef Andoni Aduriz’s food has been described as ‘techno emotional Spanish’, and his creativity is highly regarded by critics and fellow chefs.

Around 25 courses are served, and the general idea is to experiment with people’s emotions and memories, using illusion and deception. The famous canapé of ‘Potato Rocks’ illustrates this idea: potatoes are cooked in grey clay, taking on the appearance of the rocks they are served on. Diners

RECIPE

JIM DEE

The idea for this dish came from two places: the classic duck a l’orange, and the flavour profile of wheat beers. It is common to add orange peel and coriander seeds to Belgian witbier, with Hoegaarden being a commonly available example. The combi-

ies as ‘snobs’ is unjustified, especially in light of the sheer creativity and passion behind some of the best restaurants in the world. What does the Mona Lisa look like? Google it. What does Sweden taste like in spring? The only way to find out is to go. Why get excited about seeing paintings when you could travel to restaurant Fäviken and actually taste art. While seeing the texture in Rembrandt’s brush strokes is a moving experience, wouldn’t it more stirring to taste your way through the textures of Michel Bras’ gargouillou, a salad of over fifty vegetables and wild flowers?

James Martin at The Talbot Hotel Familiar to fans of Saturday Kitchen, James Martin is the executive chef of the dining room at The Talbot Hotel in Malton. The restaurant has received critical acclaim, with Jay Rayner crowning the ‘Beef Cheek and Pearl Barley Risotto’ his dish of the year. The menu is littered with local produce and showcases some of the best of British ingredients. The bar also champions local craft beers. Only half an hour away from York, Malton is building a reputation as a foodie destination, with a busy food market and The Talbot Hotel offering inspired food at excellent value. If you don’t want to travel too far, it’s perfect.

expect an extreme (even unpleasant) crunch but receive incredibly soft garlicky potato. A dessert called ‘The Birthday Party’ is served with the appearance that somebody else has eaten it already, and celebrated without you.

The decor is plain but stunning, with wooden walls and a simple ornament at the centre of each table: a broken plate. This is to reflect the restaurant’s atypical approach to fine dining, and the movement away from the expected.

The restaurant serves food that can actually leave you sad or shocked, a cuisine that is both intelligent and delicious. Mugaritz is up there with the ultimate destination restaurants.

Claude Bosi’s restaurant Hibiscus is ranked 7th in The Good Food Guide and holds two Michelin Stars. His food is unique, utilising unusual flavour combinations and modern technique. ‘Seared scallop with pork pie sauce and grapefruit’ was once something of a signature dish, while ‘Gigha halibut with brown butter foam and crushed potato’ was quite possibly the best thing I’ve ever eaten. Diners are presented with a list of the day’s best ingredients, and then given the choice of three, six, or eight courses. The chef constructs a menu specifically for your table, taking into account any preferences or dislikes. Hibiscus is an experience, not just a meal. There are

LOCAL

Travelling somewhere for the specific purpose of visiting a restaurant is a relatively new phenomenon, but destination diners are discovering cuisine worth the effort. People flock to Paris to visit the Louvre, but a different set of travellers are choosing to spend their time (and money) eating at the city’s legendary restaurants instead. It’s not just Paris either, there are restaurants all over the world which people consider worth the journey.

This elevation of fine dining frequently draws unimaginative criticism. The labelling of food-

many fantastic places to eat in London, and Hibiscus is one of the best.

Phil Howard’s restaurant, The Square, is much more traditional in its flavour combinations. It also holds two Michelin Stars, and Phil Howard is respected for his cooking and consistency the world over. Expect classic combinations with absolutely faultless cooking, impeccable service and good value wines. ‘Fillet of Beef with Short Rib and Celeriac’ was sensational, a perfect example of The Square’s reputation for huge depth of flavour, and the kitchen did an admirable job catering for my vegan partner.

The Square offers a la carte dining as well as a tasting menu. Both restaurants offer good value lunch menus.

DUCK BREAST WITH ORANGE PUREE, CONFIT CARROT AND CORIANDER JUS

Method:

nation of flavours ties together nicely, while the carrots provide textural contrast. The orange purée is laborious but delicious and definitely something worth making for a special occasion. The recipe below makes more than enough, and anything left over can be frozen.

Orange Purée:

8 large oranges 100ml vegetable oil 50g sugar Peel the oranges then remove all the white pith from the peel. Discard the pith then juice the fruit, reserving about 100ml. Finely chop the peel and place in a pan of cold water. Bring the water to the boil then strain the peel. Add the peel to more water and bring to the boil again. Repeat this process 6 times. This removes the bitterness from the peel. After the last boil, strain the peel and add the sugar, orange juice and a pinch of salt. Blend with the best equipment available to you, and pour in the oil.

Duck and Coriander Jus:

300g duck bones 500ml dark chicken stock 1 tsp of crushed coriander seeds 2 tbsp each of finely chopped leek, carrot and onion

Heat some oil in a saucepan over a high heat and add the duck bones, browning evenly for 10-15 minutes.

Add 100ml of water and reduce to nothing. Brown the bones again.

Add the chopped vegetables and cook for 5 minutes until the vegetables are lightly coloured. Add the coriander seeds and chicken stock and turn the heat to minimum.

Simmer for 30 minutes, skimming frequently before straining and reducing the sauce.

Confit Carrots:

100g butter 250g Chantenay carrots 1tsp sugar A few coriander and fennel seeds Peel the Chantenay carrots then place in a pan with the other ingredients. Place over a low heat with 100ml of water and bring to a gentle simmer. Cook for 10-15 minutes until the carrots are cooked but retain a little bite.

Pickled carrot:

1 carrot 100ml white wine vinegar 100g sugar Peel the carrot into long strips. Mix the remaining ingredients with 100ml of water and bring the boil.

Pour over the carrot strips, then cool.

To finish:

2 duck breasts Thyme flowers, coriander seeds Season the duck breasts and place skin side down in a cold frying pan without any fat. Place over a medium high heat and render the fat from the duck breasts. Cook this way for five minutes then turn over.

The skin should be golden brown and crisp. Put the frying pan in the oven and cook until the duck breasts reach 58 degrees Celsius.

Sprinkle the skin with the flowers and seeds. Rest for 5 minutes then slice each breast in half. Serve with purée, sauce and carrots.

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EATING OUT

Authenticity: 9/10

Tastes of the world

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Authenticity: 7/10

Missing your favourite food from home, or just craving the sumptuous treats from around the globe that you discovered on your travels? Well, now you can fulfil your cravings with the expert knowledge of where to go, in York, for the most authentic experience possible.

1. Krakatoa Indonesian Cuisine

Authenticity: 6.5/10

4

As soon as I walked in there, the mass of aromas and friendly staff had me instantly transported back to my favourite Balinese Warung. Whether you’ve tried Indonesian food before or not, I thoroughly recommend giving Krakatoa a visit.

The Nasi Goreng (traditional fried rice) was on a par with some of the best I’d had throughout my travels, whilst the Sate Ayam (Chicken Sate) was even better! If you have a sweet tooth, then the Bubur Ketan Hitam (sweet black rice pudding with coconut milk) is not to be missed as the perfect end to a delicious feast; washed down, of course, with a refreshing Bintang beer – the availability of which was perhaps my favourite thing about the restaurant!

Incredible food, guaranteed to give you a taste of home/paradise, at a very reasonable price. The only thing that could have made it a more authentic experience would have been Geckos climbing the walls!

2. Piccolino Italian Cuisine

Authenticity: 6/10

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The food is undeniably very good, though a little bit expensive; I daresay I had one of the best pizzas in there and I always go back when my family visits! The staff are very friendly (unless you’re going during the week-

end, in which case everything’s going to be loud and chaotic). It’s a chain of restaurants, so as for authenticity I’ll give it a 6.

3. Akbar’s Pakistani/Indian Cuisine The food here is good, and will certainly quench the craving. The peshwari naan is one of the best I’ve ever had, but be warned, it’s huge so unless you’re really, really hungry, it’s best to share.

The mushroom and potato pori is fantastic, but the other starters are very average. The chicken tikka makhani was wonderful, but the vegetarian makhani was very disappointing.

The service was good, and the price very reasonable. Overall, it was a very standard, good restaurant experience.

4. Oshibi Korean Cuisine Oshibi is an adorable, yet odd, restaurant, seemingly located in the reception space of an office.

They have classic Korean dishes, the ones most associated with Korean cuisine, and they are tasty, but not of the same sort as you would find in Korea. The kimchi was fresh and well spiced, the bibimbap was nice but it was lacking flavour slightly, however there is a good selection of Korean drinks available.

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TECH

Gaming Worlds - A Tourist's guide

Costas and Adrian discuss the top best and worst pixelated places to visit

Best LOcations Grand theft auto Los Santos

Assassin's Creed Constantinople Whilst Assassin’s Creed has been described as something of an ‘interactive history lesson’, we consider that to be quite the ideal characteristic when it comes to our lust to wander.

Enter Revelations, the entry that ripped our Italian stallion from his homeland and shipped him to the crossroads

of the world. When we weren’t stabbing Byzantine Templars and being tantalised by Ezio’s charm, we were sprinting through sun kissed streets, vaulting across bazaar stalls and climbing up the side of the Hagia Sophia. Forget Venice, gamers, parkour just got that more cultural.

Half-naked women, fast cars and guns galore. Whilst we may have just described the synopsis of your stereotypical action film, that magic formula can be applied to a certain infamous gaming series – Grand Theft Auto. Sure, that’s a major component to it, but its Rockstar’s ability to make a thrilling open world that

draws us kleptomaniacs in every single time. Los Santos is our personal favourite, what with its urban city contrasted against a picturesque landscape. As poetic as that sounds, we’ll take the time to mention that ‘Cock Rock’ exists as a landmark in the game, just in case you forgot that this was GTA.

Worst LOcations

Dishonoured - Dunwall City Imagine, if you will, a city dominated by the wealthy elite, infested by rats and corrupt enough to make certain notable 21st century dictators blush. No, we’re not talking about modern day London; we’re of course referring to the Steampunkinspired city of Dunwall from the incredible Dishonoured. The city

Animal Crossing Animal Village Picture living in a secluded, leafy village populated by anthropomorphic animals, ranging from bright blue bullfrogs to rainbow coloured anteaters. Here, in this leafy utopia, your only trouble in the world is deciding whether to go fishing or bug catching today. Animal Village

Fallout 3 Capital Wasteland Radiation, murderers and mutated creatures are just a few of the horrors the player character encounters in post-apocalyptic Washington DC after a nuclear war has raved the land. The capital wasteland boasts several appealing locations including, but not limited to, a shopping

spirals out of control during the events of the game as Corvo Attano, the game’s protagonist, murders, abducts and excommunicates his way to the top.

Sadly, depending on how chaotic Corvo’s actions are in the story, the city just goes from bad to worse. We’d hate to live here, but at least it’s not Derwent.

Bioshock - Rapture Widely regarded as one of the most well realised worlds in gaming, the underwater ‘utopian’ city of Rapture challenges Ayn Rand’s controversial ‘Atlas Shrugged’ by painting a dystopian alternative to her vision of an ideal capitalist society. Rapture proves

to be a fascinating 1950s time capsule of a Randian society gone wrong. With its grand submerged skyscrapers, it would be a fascinating place to visit if drug fiends, creepy, genetically altered little girls and their lumbering Big Daddies didn’t stalk its halls. Pity.

from Animal Crossing is perfect for those who want to lead a relaxed, lazy life without a care in the world.

Despite the fact you’re technically in debt to a Raccoon who runs the local shop and also happens to be your estate agent, nothing bad happens if you don’t pay your debts!

mall turned-slaver encampment, a town with an armed thermonuclear device at its centre and a deceptively idyllic town of closet cannibals.

This title doesn’t make us want to venture across the pond. Then again, if we wanted a taste of America, we’d go to McDonald’s.

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FILM

THERE AND BACK AGAIN

From the mental and emotional itineraries that characters undergo, or the physical distances covered in the story; there are a great variety of journeys undertaken in Films. Below are some of the physical expeditions undertaken.

Inside Out

Finding Nemo

2001: A Space Odyssey

Inside Out is the new offering from Pixar Animation Studios (makers of Toy Story and Monsters Inc.) set to be released in 2015. The film is set in the mind of a young girl and follows the story of five of her emotions: Anger, Joy, Fear, Sadness and Disgust. An interesting concept, this film could be shaping up to be another big hit for the studios and with voice performances from actors like Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation) I’m definitely looking forward to it!

The clownfish Marlin goes on an epic journey to find his son, Nemo, after he is taken by a diver. Along the way he meets new friends like Dory (voiced by Ellen DeGeneres), Bruce the shark and a big blue whale.

Meanwhile, Nemo finds himself in a fish tank in the office of the dentist P. Sherman with a group of fish as desperate to get back to the ocean as he is. A well-loved family film from the ever more successful Pixar Animation Studios. Who would have thought

Stanley Kubrick’s Space Odyssey opened to mixed reviews but soon gathered momentum building a huge fan following. Since then this film has reached new heights in critical acclaim and was briefly the highest grossing film in North America. This journey is epic in proportion. It begins with the dawn of man,

Little Miss Sunshine

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Distance covered: 15cm Main mode of transport: Neurones (I'm guessing)

Distance covered: 1087km Main mode of transport: Bright Yellow Campervan

Distance covered: 1721km Main mode of transport: Swimming

Distance covered: N/A Main mode of transport: US Spacecraft

leaps to the space age and ends in a surreal world.

the little clownfish travelled further than Frodo!

Distance covered: Thousands of lightyears Main mode of transport: Spaceship

Back To The Future Trilogy Distance covered: 130 years?

Main mode of transport: DeLorean DMC-12 Time Machine

One of my personal favourites, Little Miss Sunshine, is a moving film about a young girl, Olive, who travels across America to a beauty pageant with her dysfunctional family. The film has so much depth and fantastic performances by the entire cast it’s a must see for any film fan. If you haven’t seen it, drop everything and watch it right now.

This story was first conceived as a radio show but has since spanned to a novel, TV series, video game and the 2005 film starring Martin Freeman. Following the story of very ordinary tea-drinking Arthur Dent as he discovers his best friend is an alien and begins a whirlwind adventure around the Universe, encountering numerous strange species, searching for the answer to life, the Universe and everything.

80s/90s cult classic is a favourite of many and highly regarded as an imaginative, quirky science fiction movie.

The trilogy follows the adventures of Marty McFly and Doc Brown as they travel through time in a modified DeLorean, unsurprisingly coming into trouble which drives the adventure storyline. The distance covered in the trilogy is not linear and spans through both time and space, from back as far as 1885 to near future date - 2015.

Lord Of The Rings Trilogy

Around the World in 80 Days

Titanic

Distance covered: 1529km Main mode of transport: Walking Story successor to The Hobbit Trilogy, this movie franchise spans many fictional races, languages and locations. With such a diverse range of characters in the film there are some extensive journeys to the corners of Middle Earth. I’ve only included the distance from the Shire to Mount Doom to show where Frodo and Sam travelled, but if you added together all the secondary characters’ travels the number would be tenfold.

Distance covered: 28, 000km Main mode of transport: Various (including Hot Air Balloon, Train, Ship) Based on the Jules Vernes novel of the same name, this film has been remade multiple times. The most recent starring Jackie Chan, Steve Coogan and Jim Broadbent, but not even the big names can make up for this dreary, badly put together film. It is a comedy film about a group of men who want to travel the world in eighty days by hot air balloon. It includes martial arts, a robbed bank, and a lot of very bad gags. Jackie Chan’s martial arts are perhaps the only saving grace.

Distance covered: 4016km Main mode of transport: Oceanliner James Cameron’s film epic follows the story of two destined lovers, Jack and Rose. Although some argue the love story transcended time and space, the ship made it just over 4000km before it sank into the Atlantic Ocean.

Sam Stockbridge

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TV

Controversial Cartoons ZENA JARJIS looks at the controversy surrounding the cancellation of Seth MacFarlane’s Dads...

A

fter just one episode, Seth MacFarlane’s Dads was met with heavy criticism due to its controversial content. The sitcom, starring Seth Green and Giovanni Ribsi as two game developers whose fathers move in with them, was accused of racism, ageism and sexism. From the outset, Dads was challenged by various media watchdog groups determined to get it off the air, and BuzzFeed went so far as to call the show “actually evil”. To the relief of a lot of television critics, Dads has recently been axed after one season. While this could also be an issue of quality as well as controversy, viewers seemed to enjoy the show a lot more than critics did, as the audience nominated Dads for a People’s Choice Award for Best New Comedic TV Show.

Meanwhile, another Seth MacFarlane show, Family Guy, is currently on its twelfth season.

The cartoon is undoubtedly far more offensive and controversial than Dads, with quotes such as “You’ve got the aids, you may have caught it when you stuck that filthy needle in here, or maybe all that unprotected sex you adhere!” and “So which of the Latin countries are you from: the one with the civil war, the one with the cocaine, or the one with the fancy hats?” Fam-

MUSIC

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ily Guy is challenged practically biweekly by the Parent’s Television Council and has provoked protests from groups such as the American Life League. Nevertheless, the cartoon is still going strong more than 16 years after its first episode, and it was recently named the ninth greatest animated show of all time by TV Guide. It’s not the only cartoon which continues to air despite offending just about everyone – South Park has been renewed for an eighteenth season.

It seems like it is a lot easier to get away with controversial scenes on cartoons than it is on live-action television shows. Seth MacFarlane has previously admitted that he can do a lot more with animated characters than ones played by actors, saying that scenes of domestic abuse on a show like Everybody Loves Raymond would be censored, but scenes which show Lois Griffin beating her husband or in combat with her son have not been met with quite as much horror.

Perhaps it is more difficult to get away with depicting controversial issues on live-action TV shows because of issues with exploiting actors.

One of the most challenged scenes from Dads is one which shows Asian-American actress Brenda Strong dressing up as a sexy schoolgirl, and

a male character howling “Hello, Kitty!” A lot of critics saw the scene as racist, sexist and humiliating for the actress, which is never an issue in the portrayal of Family Guy’s Tricia Takanawa, for example, who is just a drawing.

Dads is offensive, but Family Guy pushes far more boundaries, and often gets away with

it. A lot of gags used on Family Guy would have been considered completely unacceptable on a live-action show like Dads, and the cancellation of the latter shows that producers should probably stick to cartoons if they want to write over the top controversial content.

Fuck The Police

Did 2Pac really use his dying breath to say “fuck you” to a policeman? And does it matter? Rap correspondent ZENA JARJIS investigates...

everal weeks ago, Chris Carroll, a former Las Vegas policeman who was on the scene when rapper Tupac Shakur was shot, was interviewed in Vegas Seven. He revealed 2Pac’s last words, saying of the legendary hip hop artist “He looked at me and he took a breath to get the words out, and he opened his mouth, and I thought I was actually going to get some cooperation. And then the words came out: ‘Fuck you.’” With his final breath, 2Pac cemented his legacy as some sort of anti-police, anti-establishment hero.

A lot of people are reading the incident as proof that 2Pac was so dedicated to the anti-police sentiments he expressed in his music (“Cops don’t give a damn about a Negro/Pull a trigger, kill a n***a he’s a hero”) that he chose to insult a policeman with his final words. His status as a hero for people who have suffered at the hands of corrupt or racist authority figures is significant and should not be dis-

missed, but the “fuck you” incident may not be as symbolic as it seems. “Fuck you” may not even have been 2Pac’s last words, as he was actually alive for six days after he was shot, albeit under heavy sedation. He spent almost a week in hospital following his shooting, so his final words could have been “I’m thirsty” or something equally unromantic. And, even if “fuck you” were his final words, when Carroll saw the injured rapper, he repeatedly asked “Who shot you?” 2Pac may have seen this question as an allusion to, or at least a reminder of, The Notorious B.I.G.’s famous diss track, “Who Shot Ya?” He could have been using his final words to say “fuck you” to Biggie rather than the establishment.

In the interview, Carroll also says that he has waited so long to reveal Pac’s last words partially because he “didn’t want Tupac to be a martyr or hero because

he told the cops ‘Fuck you.’” He continues, “I didn’t want him to be a hero for that. And now enough time has passed, well, he’s a martyr anyway; he’s viewed as a hero anyway. My story, at this point, isn’t going to change any of that.”

Carrol lis right, and 2Pac did do a lot to help out underprivileged people who felt betrayed by the police, but a lot of fans are choosing to ignore the rest of the interview.

Maybe people are focusing so much on the “fuck you” and viewing it as some sort of symbolic moment because there are very few successful hip hop artists around now who are martyrs in the same way 2Pac was. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but the nature of hip hop has changed, and fewer and fewer current rappers are criticising authority. Most recently, Jay Z was criticised for his deal with Barney’s after the department store was accused of racially profiling two black customers. Fans urged Jay Z, who used to deal with racial bias in songs like ‘99 Problems’, to pull his clothing line from the store. Jay Z went ahead with the deal anyway, and his defence of the incident in ‘The Devil Is A Lie’ – “See what I did to that stop and frisk/ Brooklyn on the Barney’s like we own that bitch/ Give the money to the hood now we all win/Got that Barney’s floor looking like a V.I.M.” – was a little defensive and unconvincing.

Whether or not “fuck you” were 2Pac’s last words, he is always going to be held out as a martyr who defended underprivileged people against corrupt policemen. Carroll revealed the incident at a time when a lot of hip hop fans were feeling nostalgic for

the music of the 90s, when rappers frequently criticised authority figures in their music. Even if he didn’t literally use his last breath to annoy a policeman, 2Pac was still a martyr and any information received about him now will, to most people, always been seen in that light.

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The pirate ship is sinking MILO BOYD looks at the changing ways Generation Z listens to music.

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n 1863, French lexicographer Émile Littré defined a generation as “all men living more or less at the same time”. In his 1923 essay ‘The Problems of Generations’, Karl Mannheim decided stating the obvious was boring and postulated a sociological definition of generation on the basis of common experiences, thoughts and feelings tied not only to chronology but significant, Zeitgeist shaking events. For those born in the late 1800s, the psychological and economic fallout of WW1 saw Gertrude Stein dub half a billion or so westerners ‘The Lost Generation.’ In the 1940s, ‘50s and ‘60s the post-war masses loosened their belts and cemented their reputation as ‘The Baby Boomers.’ Jump forward a few wars, cultural explosions and an X and a Y and we have ‘Generation Z’; as Wikipedia sees it, ‘the generation that is currently being born.’

To understand the defining characteristics that ties together pretty much every single person you’ve ever met who doesn’t really know what Dallas was, it might be useful to turn to USA Today’s list of runners up to ‘Generation Y’: A list including iGeneration, Gen Tech, Gen Wii, Net Gen, Digital Natives and Gen Next.

It might be even more useful to point out that our entire generation has been labelled and will probably be best understood post-us through the findings of an online poll. Where our parents and their parents were defined by war, feeling miserable after war and fucking, our thing is computers. And in particular, if the world’s governments recent digital curmudgeonry is anything to go by, stealing things on computers.

Whether or not we embrace this or any other characteristic common enough to conveniently lump together Generation Z’s millions of individuals, the numbers are there. In 2011 65% of downloaded music content was done so illegally, making up a significant proportion of the 40 billion files that were traded on the virtual blackmarket that year. Whilst Generation Z are not responsible for the entirety of this number, the tripling of content stolen between 2008 and 2011 does coincide nicely with our cohorts maturation and a 2012 OfCom study that found 48% of British 12 to 18 year olds had illegally shared content. By itself this tells us little of interest: our generation likes stealing music.

We know this. But what we don’t quite know, and what seems to be largely untouched as an area of study, is the effect this proliferation of sticky fingers is having on the way we listen to music.

According to Matthias W. Kampmann’s application of Heitmann Peine’s understanding of perceived value in his seminal

essay ‘Online Piracy and Consumer Affect’, perceived value is a multi-factorial concept consisting of quality, emotional, price and social judgements. Past a point, Kampmann argues, the less we pay, the less we value an object of consumption. Of the 35% of music purchased legally in 2011, 16% came in physical CD form – a slowly yet ever decreasing proportion. Join these two conclusions together and we find ourselves in a cohort unwilling to buy CDs, willing to steal digital files and, in doing so, inadvertently reducing the perceived worth of the music we listen to.

Of course this is not a universal condemnation or truth that strikes home in every instance. But equally, opting for quantity at the behest of quality in an effectively free market, piling tracks into a de facto limitless iPod and glancing at the video game-like listening figures on YouTube and in iTunes can and, at least for me, has become a part of the listening experience. As much as music is one of the purest and most persistent joys in my life, it has become an experience tied up with a multitude of factors that come part and parcel with the unique ease of access that has arisen in the last 10 or so years. Do we still love music? Of course. Does each torrented album lack a certain worth found in the eagerly anticipated vinyl or compact disc release of yesteryear? Probably.

And now the market is shifting again. A recent study by the NPD Group found that the number of music files illegally downloaded had dropped 26% between 2011 and 2012. The reason is not, as we might expect, the result of SOPA or the annoying ‘You Can’t Access This Page’ pop-up familiar to any Sky Broadband customer, but the proliferation of streaming. The jury’s still out on whether streaming services will be seen as a friend or foe of the music industry, but what’s not is whether this shift will affect the way we listen to music. As much as Kampmann’s findings and the symbolic displacement of songs following the move from compact to digital suggests a certain gap between the listener and listened to, changing from Hard Drive to Cloud implies a further displacement. Whilst an iTunes library can be as good as erased by a short, sharp knock to the back of your computer’s head, as long as it remains intact, it remains yours.

Streaming may be easier, cheaper and an ethically valid alternative to filesharing, but it also removes a sense of ownership. Add to this the fraction of a penny sent to whichever artist with each listen, and Generation Z ‘s perception of music’s value may be severely lessened.

"Where our parents and their parents were defined by war, feeling miserable after war and fucking, our thing is computers.

And in particular, if the world's governments recent digital curmudgeonry is anything to go by, stealing things on computers."

BOOKS

The Do-It-Yourself Guide to Publishing...Wise or Ill-Advised?

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ap a quick search into Google (we tried ‘how to self publish’) and you’ll be bombarded with tips and advice. There is talk that it might be becoming possible to sidestep the traditional route via the established publishing houses which are so notoriously hard to break into, especially for minority writers and controversial writing.

Ultimately, these traditional gatekeepers need to make a profit to survive and have vested interests just like any other business.

It is also easy to forget that authors often hand over responsibility for marketing and promotions. Claire Chambers of the English Department at the University of York discussed this in depth at the recent ‘Prizing and Publishing Muslims Workshop’ at the Treehouse, pointing out that the novel ‘Kartography’ by Kamila Shamsie has previously been branded as chick lit, featuring blurbs from Elle magazine on the covers. In contrast, Leila Aboulela’s dustjackets enforce her image as a serious ‘halal’ novelist and often feature veiled women.

In an article on the Forbes magazine website, writer Deborah Jacobs sings the praises of new online platforms.

The rise of social media has opened up new opportunities

for marketeers, so why not would-be publishers and writers too? Jacobs discusses two options which have proved successful for her; using e-commerce tools such as Gumroad, or selling through Amazon. Not surprisingly, the increasing popularity of e-books has made it simple and relatively cheap for indie authors to publish via Kindle Direct – there are no charges for uploading, and the royalties are generous. CreateSpace allows you to create paperback copies to be printed on demand by simply uploading a PDF. Authors are free to design their own cover. Everyone’s a winner!

But is this a mere gimmick or a legitimate and potentially successful way to get important work noticed? Are writers best left leaving promotion to the professionals, or not?

Smaller UK publishing houses outside the exclusive Londocentric bubble find innovative ways to reach their markets.

Comma Press is a not-for-profit initiative which prides itself in taking risks and pursuing freedom from commercial pressures. For example, Comma seeks to accept more short stories and novellas, neglected art forms often perceived as ‘risky’ or inferior to the novel. Here at York Vision Books, we are a big fan of Quirk Books, a company which endorses work outside the mainstream and brand themselves as

‘seekers of all things awesome’. Alt h o u g h sales are usually counted by the number of copies passed through a till, many more can be sold at author-run events and signings aimed at and designed for particular groups.

Ultimately, perhaps these developments signal a freer and more diverse market for all kinds of literature – which can only be a good thing for writers and bookworms.

Maddi Howell

scene DATING

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BLIND DATE THIS WEEK we set up third year English Literature student and satirist, Emily Mangles, with our bashful first year Features Editor, Philip Adams. Did this date at the romantic setting of The Charles spark a love which will last all summer? Will Philip no longer be on the pull at Vision socials? Read on to find out about this meeting of two great minds...

Phil on Emily Are you looking for anything serious?

No, in fact at the moment I would go to great lengths to avoid it.

What do you look for in a girl?

Good sense of humour, can hold a decent conversation and is natural looking.

How did she look?

Very smart and intellectual. She was well dressed in an old fashioned but still stylish way. Also she had a cute laugh as well as a pretty and jolly face.

What was the funniest thing she said?

She had very amusing views on the fact I’m from Derwent and proud of it, but she eventually got over the stereotype that I must be an alcohol laden incestuous cretin. I also enjoyed her tips and advice for my next few years in York.

Emily on Phil What do you look for in a guy?

Tall? Reasonably clean/smartly dressed.

What was the first thing you noticed?

He’ll hate me for saying this, but the fact he looked so young!

What did you have to eat and would you return to The Charles in Heslington?

Chilli con Carne, and it’s The Charles so yes...

What did you talk about?

Being Oxbridge rejects, Helena Horton, the stickiness of Willow, all the usual York stuff. Though oddly we didn’t cover geese.

What did you have to eat?

Was he a gentleman?

I had a hot dog and she had chilli, not the easiest of choices, but thankfully there were no dramatic spillages. For pudding she had the Belgian waffle, a bold choice as a lot can go wrong with a waffle.

Well he paid for the wine with his housemate’s credit card, so I’d say so!

Did you end on a hug, a kiss, or more?

If you met him in Willow, might one tequila lead to another?

Ended on a hug and a ‘hopefully see you soon.’

Tequila makes me vomit so probably not!

Where would you take her for a second date?

Most desirable characteristic or feature?

If there was to be a second date, then a play or a show, she was very into her culture and amateur dramatics.

He agrees that the Errol Flynn version of Robin Hood is the best Robin Hood. Few people do, it’s an acquired taste!

Marks out of 10?

Marks out of 10?

7/10. Very witty and entertaining.

Vision thanks the cupids at The Charles, who sponsored this Blind Date

9/10

OPINION

Tuesday June 10, 2014

DEBATE

Vısıon15 YORK

PLEASE SIR, HOW NATIONALISTIC SHOULD EDUCATION BE? JOONSOO YI

VS

BARTO JOLY DE LOTBINIÈRE JY:

Should education focus on its own cultural system? No, and even the mere consideration of this question is gravely mistaken.

This is not entirely unrelated to Michael Gove’s proposed education reform – a new curriculum that aims to promote British culture at the expense of multiculturalism. This means that in GCSE English, teachers are required to follow a strict curriculum that includes British writers like Charles Dickens and Shakespeare, but, no longer, John Steinbeck, Harper Lee, Ernest Hemingway, James Joyce, Voltaire, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, etc. whose books are not deemed British.

BJL:

From a personal view, one would be missing out if one did not read books by non-British writers, and I am pretty certain nobody would be so myopic. Having said that we’re talking about education, and the existence of a National Curriculum, whether you like it or not, leads to the government control of education for it’s own end. To Kill A Mockingbird is unparalleled in terms of its study of Segregation-era America but there are many contemporary British writers that come from multicultural backgrounds such as Benjamin Zephaniah and Zadie Smith. If the national curriculum focuses more on these writers, with their important insight into changing the cul-

tural landscape of Britain, the next generation will be less likely to develop the xenophobic feelings that have become depressingly more prevalent in recent years.

JY:

People are taught literature, not just for pleasure, but for knowledge – that is, learning about how people from various backgrounds behave, eat, speak, live, socialize, and express themselves differently. One should not read Lolita just because it’s a fun, and interesting, book, but because there’s so much to learn about the life in the American 50s. Similarly, one should not approach Ulysses as an interesting literary challenge, but more as an inquisitive discovery of the Gaelic culture. However, Gove’s program repudiates the very essence of literature by ignoring its purpose, which is to educate and open up readers to new cultures.

BJL:

Government control of cultural subjects eventually leads to the politicisation of education, the apolitical concept of reading for pleasure should take priority. For example, it would be better to incentivise secondary school students with a module on British humour, such as P.G. Wodehouse or Oscar Wilde, as a counterbalance to the more dense stuff like

“Gove repudiates the essence of literature” Dickens and Shakespeare. These are eleven to sixteen year olds we are talking about here. Despite the Victorian and Edwardian settings the comedy still is enjoyable and gives youngsters an idea that people in the ‘olden days’ were not all witless.

JY:

Additionally, it makes no sense to argue that focusing just on British culture, and investing more time educating students on it,

would naturally expand their understanding of the culture. Rudyard Kipling famously said: “What do they of England know that only England know”? The point of this conjecture is that in order to fully understand your own culture, you have to learn about other cultures too and find out how people outside your own do things differently. This makes sense because ‘culture’ is a relative term and it only exists in the relativist sense. The ‘British culture’ on its own means nothing, but what gives it meaning is that it is set apart from the cultures in France, Spain, Korea, South Africa, United States, etc.

BJL:

But the English language itself is multinational, built from words from Ancient German and Scandinavian, French, Latin, Greek and even a little Arabic. The more books studied that were written in English originally, the more students study how our language has developed over time, from the medieval Chaucer, to the neologist Shakespeare, to the exhaustively vocabularied Martin Amis. It can be argued that the great classics of other languages remained best studied in their own language, that is why so many English students at York learn Italian to read Dante’s Divine Comedy.

But you can’t learn every language, I certainly don’t have the will to learn Russian to read Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky.

JY: There is simply no reason to restrict

the English curriculum to only those books written by British authors. What does one gain from this? Jane Austen and Evelyn Waugh were great writers but so were Nabokov, Hemingway, and Vonnegut. Why don’t these non-British, English Language writers deserve a spot in the curriculum as well?

BJL:

Michael Gove has been criticised for shaping the national curriculum into a politically charged syllabus that aims to make Britain ‘Great’ again. Whether or not this is true depends on your political standpoint but he previously came under fire for his belief that Britain and its Army Generals conduct in the

WWI was just. But there is one anecdote I can provide about the danger of the nationalism in the national curriculum. This was the recent row over the possible removal of Mary Seacole, the famous nurse that served in the Crimean War of Jamaican and Scottish ancestry, from the national curriculum. The point is that the cultural heritage of Britain is inextricably linked with Empire, the era when this country ruled almost a quarter of the world so it is impossible for Britain to have a typically national culture after that.

“The English language itself is multinational” JY:

To summarise, the whole point of literature is to educate people on things that they did not know about, especially cultures that are foreign to them. An education system that only focuses on its own cultural system impairs this point and defeats the whole purpose of teaching literature in the first place.

@joyiparr

BJL:

It is possible for the term ‘National Curriculum’ not to be synonymous with a ‘Nationalist Curriculum’, especially with a focus on British multiculturalism although many education commentators are increasingly sceptical.

Both political parties have been guilty of it, for example Gordon Brown in 2005, “the days of Britain having to apologise for its colonial history are over”. If the Education Secretary is going to put Rudyard Kipling on the curriculum, then he has to put Chinua Achebe on there as well.

@BdeLotbiniere

16 Vısıon YORK

OPINION

Tuesday June 10, 2014

WILL MCCURDY:

CALLUM SHANNON:

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ALL THAT IS GOLD DOES NOT GLITTER

he first time I visited Barbados, I went on a day long tour of the small island and visited what our guide considered to be the nation’s hidden gems. Having visited everything from caves where runaway slaves took refuge to a cafe belonging to the daughter of Eddie Grant’s brother, we then pulled up at somewhere REALLY strange; a used car dealership on the outskirts of Bridgetown. Bemused, I asked our guide why we’d stopped here. His response: “This used to be McDonalds, but they closed down because nobody went. Barbados is the only country in the world to beat McDonalds.”

Luckily for the American fast food giant, the Bajan’s lack of appetite isn’t shared by the rest of the world. The chain has over 30,000 outlets worldwide in 121 countries, employing over one million people. The business’ success at conquering the world (and the fact they can somehow sell a cheeseburger for 99p and still turn a profit) has made it and its iconic golden arches logo the ultimate symbol for American consumer capitalism. And now it seems, democracy too.

Following the recent coup in Thailand, Thai pro-democracy protesters have taken to the streets of Bangkok with placards with “Democracy” written on them. The twist? The M in Democracy is replaced with McDonalds’ iconic golden arches logo. The multinational burger chain

has, involuntarily, become a freedom fighter.

And lo and behold, McDonalds is really unhappy about it. Their head office has released a statement asking the protesters to stop using their logo or “face appropriate action”. They further commented that they were “remaining neutral in the political situation”. A bastion of western capitalism maybe, but hardly one of democracy.

“Capitalism doesn’t need democracy to flourish”

But should we really be surprised? McDonalds has a history of setting up outlets in far from democratic countries, from China to Saudi Arabia. The cooperation hasn’t actively tried to forward democracy in any of these places, so why are we surprised when they refuse to support it in Thailand? Capitalism doesn’t necessarily need democracy to flourish, only stability.

McDonalds, like any other rational firm, have learned that taking sides is bad for business.

Suppose they sided with the protesters who were subsequently crushed. They’d never be welcome in Thailand again and lose a customer base 66 million strong. Consumer capitalism can only encourage democracy so far before vested interests kick in.

Bottom Line: International corporations don’t support democracy, as the recent events in Thailand show. @callum_shannon

L

THE LONE GUNMAN AND THE SOCIETY THAT SHUNS

ast week, Eliot Rodger, a privileged, wellspoken young man, who on the face of it had everything, took it upon himself to execute another mass killing on a school campus.

He hatefully targeted women blaming them for his virginity and his rejection from society.

Shootings like this were once, not too long ago, an exception, a horrific and unavoidable accident. Now, well, they’re not. They have become regular and reliable occurrence, likes taxes and birthdays. Barely a few months go by before we see the next wave reports of another tortured soul inflicting “justice” upon the world.

We have a problem.

How have we got into this mess? The institution of the campus shooting is a modern one. This sort of thing simply didn’t happen in quite the same way less than fifty years ago, the number of school shootings has dramatically risen almost every decade until now. But why is that? Why today, and mostly in developed parts of North America have young people barely reaching adulthood taken to killing their peers.

“It’s tough being

human, even when you’re privileged” I’ll be honest. I don’t know and I don’t pretend to. Anyone who falsely presents themselves as having an understanding of why an isolated young person wants to do something that unimaginable is lying. Better gun control only targets the outward representation of what is obviously a far deeper problem. The fact that white males, supposedly the most privileged of everyone in society, would want to gun down their peers.

It’s tough being human, even when you’re privileged. Society fails to redress the psycho-

CAMPUS CALLING

logical problems that violently lash out like this.

America’s idolization of celebrity must be held to account. The modern media essentially provides a prime time spot for anyone with a gun and a manifesto. We’re giving a megaphone to mental illness. We’re offering a platform to anyone willing to do the unthinkable, drawing attention away from helping the underlying causes. But the truth is Eliot Rodgers was ill, someone who broke into tears at the site of happy couples. You can only imagine the pain his family is going through, parents mourning the loss of a child they tried hard to get help for.

But to no avail. Rodger died in the fulfilment of his masterplan that through his twisted, fatalist logic he believed would put everything right.

The media however cannot be fully blamed for all this. It’s the very stuff that popular news stories are made out of. Proposing some kind of blanket ban on reporting of this type is completely ridiculous. More attention needs to be paid to angry young men. We live in increased isolation from the people around us, which is only aided by technology.

A more inclusive society is needed, where people like this are noticed before it’s too late.

Just because someone looks like they have it all by standards of society, doesn’t mean they aren’t seriously suffering. It’s not about misogyny or bigotry; it’s about recommending help to those who seem troubled, and recognizing that not all ailments are just physical.

Bottom Line: Another mass murderer consigned to sensationalism will do nothing to end this vicious cycle will.mccurdy@yorkvision.co.uk

The Opinion Editors’ comment on all things campus

THE MOST NATURAL THING OF ALL

IN A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN

pparently, people have been having sex on campus, ON campus. There is little to no surprise there; at the very least, we’ve all heard stories...

For reasons of prudence and propriety, this habit has been condemned by both students and staff. But there is no inherent harm to public sex. And, realistically speaking, most students are past the point of getting shocked by sex. The most likely thing to do if surprised by people getting it on in, say, an empty lecture hall is cheering them on or leaving themselves to it.

In truth, the only justification for banning public sex is to perpetuate the culture of frigidity, which was what a topless Scout Willis was trying to combat on Instagram last week.

Which is, obviously, not a strong justification. Generally speaking, on bans of nudity or sex our society has few things to say apart from “We just want it to stay that

here’s nothing educational institutions hate more than league tables, and with the release of the Guardian’s 2015 edition the nightmare begins all over again. The reliance on that one obscure, sometimes irrelevant statistic that means they are bumped a good few places down the list, meaning they are disregarded by the more ambitious prospective student and his/her parents.

If they had it their way people would just visit their university, have a look around, have a browse of their prospectus then decide. But to reduce the attributes of such an institution to a set of, in some cases very broad, figures that tell one not very much about the actual quality of the education they provide must be infuriating.

For example, the percentage of graduates who find employment after graduation; many students may have skipped over a gap year to take one when they finish university, or they may have enjoyed studying so much they may have wanted to become a postgraduate. The staff/student ratio is also something that must be scrutinised, as different universities have different teaching methods, as do different subjects. The ratio adheres to the pseudo-Darwinian paranoia that the larger the number of students per tutor the poorer the quality of teaching, which is sim-

A

way.”

We realise our taboos in laws and rules, thus ensuring that they will live on. Because people have a tendency to respect the law solely because it is the law. We assume justification where there is none. One could argue that punishment is the only motivation for respecting the law, yet that would only be half the truth.

Rules take root deep within society and shape it.

We learn from early on that “we shouldn’t do x”” and we soon stop asking questions as to why.

If people have the uncontrollable urge to have sex in public places, and the harm in it is little then there is no reason why it should be banned. It probably did wonders for student stress levels around exam time. Our right not to be disgusted or offended cannot possibly be the basis for limiting people’s freedom to bump uglies.

At the end of the day there are much more important issues concerning sex to be addressed, such as exploitation and misogyny. Focusing on the smallest of lesser evils only draws resources from dealing with real problems.

T

ply irrelevant, if the difference, in some cases, is a fraction of a percentage.

Some statistics do tell you something useful about the university such as the average UCAS score of their entrants. Which gives you an idea about how clever your fellow students will be, which at least satisfies the ambition of many school-leavers when making their choice. But trying to rate your whole university experience, both social and academic by a numerical value from 1 to 100 and then a newspaper taking an average from that will tell A-level students nothing.

FEATURES

Tuesday June 10, 2014

FEATURES

Vısıon 15 YORK

www.yorkvision.co.uk/features features@yorkvision.co.uk

BETWEEN TWO IDIOTS GEORGE DABBY and PHILIP ADAMS impart some timely student ‘wisdom’

The Idiots give Dating Advice As some of you may know, Philip Adams, my esteemed co-editor, recently went on a blind date (see Scene p.20). Despite his claims of not wanting to ‘Get Busy’, ‘Get Down on It’ or any other song title by Sean Paul, Lil’ Kim or Kool and the Gang, we know he is lying. In our post-mortem of his date, we came up with some ‘Do’s and Don’ts’ for a date in North Yorkshire, for any lads lucky enough to get a match on Tinder.

DON’T …make them get a Graham Norton in Dusk just because you want one too.

DON’T …talk about your gap year. How many schools did you say you built!?

DON’T …go somewhere that exceeds room temperature. You will soon regret wearing that pastel shirt. In the event of a downpour keep your arms firmly below your head at all times.

DO …change your sheets.

It is now thankfully the end of exams which, as first years, means our lives continue pretty much as they have done throughout the year. But in your final days at York, whatever year you’re in, the Idiots have some suggestions for the ‘should have, could have, would have’ things you always intended to do in York this year.

Eat at an independent restaurant As much as this particular editor loves a good Al Funghi at Pizza Express, or waving a student card in GBK, you might get a kick out of eating something foreign, exotic and sure to leave you on the loo the next morn-

ing. Or you could go for a safe option. Steak, I hear you say? Look no further than El Gaucho on Walmgate. Think 20z Sirloin, Argentinian red wine and a crippling overdraft. Still, a fitting way to celebrate the end of exams.

Go for a family dinner Housemates, coursemates, effective strangers, it does not matter, dress up if you want, create a Facebook event if it so tickles you. But push the boat out and venture outside of the comfort of the Charles or Courtyard.

Saffron Desi provides affordable Indian and noth-

Visit the Minster, or something medieval

Go to the gym

You know that big building in York? The one that stares at you when you walk into Willow, calling you culturally retarded? Well, you can

We all know you had a schedule at one point. Maybe you started working, or maybe you just got fat. But in the words of the great Jordan Belfort, “the only

always pop in on your next trip to town. It is free after all with your student card and as far as buildings go it is quite impressive.

DON’T

ing says team bonding like a family naan bread and some warm beer. The naan is roughly the size of Peter Dinklage and although it is delivered dangling like a deliciously saggy scrotum, hands meet while reaching for it, giggles ensue and a good night is had by all.

thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” So get pumping iron. Pussy.

…wear Lynx Africa. You’re not 14 anymore, whether you like it or not.

DO …not get shitfaced. Frosty around the edges is fine, but falling, dribbling and glazed eyes are a definite faux-pas. There’s Dutch courage and there’s English embarrassment.

DO …lie through your teeth; all good relationships are built on treachery and deceit.

DON’T …brag about yourself in bed. With lesser expectations comes lesser disappointment.

DO ...wash behind your ears. This one was thrown at us by a female editor with an infatuation for a nice pair of ears. This leads on to the point of being open; you never know, you might enjoy it...

DON’T ...ramble on about previous relationships, keep it concise and avoid sop at all costs. No-one wants a bitter, soppy old man.

DON’T ...reveal your inner narcissism too soon. Even if, like myself and George, you will always love yourself more than another, don’t let them catch on. A little bit of arrogance never goes amiss, but the other person is always the most important on the date.

DO ...engage them and ask about their life, even if you’re not interested, pretend!

Get back into shape...

...then get a massive curry

WILLOW WOES

We had a few people attempt our Willow music challenge last edition. Alas, our challenge proved too difficult. Aside from the ‘DJ’ being offended at the multiple, sarcastic requests to play ‘Come on Eileen’, they also refused to indulge you with Frozen and 50 Cent. They claimed they couldn’t do it, which seems surprising considering that the ‘DJ’ is so well trained in switching between Spotify and YouTube.

Anyway, your task this week is far more straightforward. Get a selfie with the doorman at Willow. This man is notoriously grumpy and does not partake in small-talk, eye contact or other general pleasantries of the human experience. Simply obtain the selfie and tweet it to us @YorkVision for a healthy tequila reward.

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FEATURES

Tuesday June 10, 2014

INTERVIEW: KATIE HOPKINS

Katie Hopkins is awesome.

WARNING: Do not read this!

OSCAR PEARSON talks being hated, names and controversy with outrageous media personality, Katie Hopkins f you are not a fan of Katie Hopkins, don’t read this.

And if you haven’t heard of her then you should stop reading too – it’s best not to get involved. Why? Simple. Katie Hopkins has single-handedly assumed the mantel of Britain’s most outspoken and divisive woman since starring in Alan Sugar’s 2006 series of The Apprentice. She has built up a remarkable hate following, and recently was even ranked in the top two most loathed people in the world –

second only to Vladimir Putin.

But the thing is, Katie is great for television. She provokes discussion (yes, admittedly often in the form of shouting matches), she challenges reformist thinking, and she claims her frank opinions are what we all think in private.

I interviewed her in a Paddington Station corridor last week, with the colours of the hallway backdrop almost as intense as her character.

So if you’d like to know what’s wrong with being ‘politically correct’, why

...What if my interview invitation wasn’t signed off from ‘Oscar and Philip’ – instead from a Tyler or Wayne? Would she have turned our request down? “Oh if I can help somebody then I will definitely do it. I even spoke with a Tyler on Sky News and one when at the Oxford Union”

social mobility is ‘codswallop’, and what infuriates Katie ‘beyond belief’ then great! Enjoy! But be warned – there’s no cheap smearing nor abuse aimed at Katie in this piece: she is just as entitled to her opinions as we are to ours.

London, 11am, opposite ‘Eat’ café. “Hello my darlings,” Katie said as we met. “Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll join you when I’m ready.” With her confident and lively persona instantly obvious, she strolled over leisurely towing a small suitcase and pink scarf. Scarf?! It’s June! All the pleasantries – check.

Down to business.

“Aren’t you just famous for being famous?” we began. “It wasn’t always like that,” Katie held. “There was the sensible me who used to go to work every day in New York. Then there was me who did The Apprentice. And then the me who did commentary and business… but now it’s mostly media, yes.” It’s undoubtedly this latter form of television appearances and her The Sun columns that have handed Katie her celebrity status.

Particularly on This Morning, Katie’s forthright comments have provoked

Katie Hopkins on obesity: “Would I employ you if you were obese? No I would not. You would give the wrong impression to the clients of my business. I need people to look energetic, professional and efficient. If you are obese you look lazy.” mass distaste for her character – it was clear that she has had to develop even thicker skin than that of her morning latte in the café opposite us.

Indeed, arguably Katie’s most infamous spat came after she confessed her prejudices about children’s names on ITV. To an astounded Holly Willoughby, Katie explained why forenames represent class and behaviour, to the extent that “no middle-class mother should let their children play with kids called Chardonnay.” So, what if my interview invitation wasn’t signed off from ‘Oscar and Philip’ – instead from a Tyler or Wayne? Would she have turned our request down? “Oh if I can help somebody then I will definitely do it. I even spoke with a Tyler on Sky News and one when at the Oxford Union.”

“Well done,” I congratulated.

Watched by nearly fourteen million people, that ITV appearance saw Philip Schofield accuse Katie of hypocrisy after she announced her dislike for children named after locations – such as David Beckham’s Brooklyn. “But your daughter is called India!” came Schofield’s baffled reply. And in our interview, for the first time since, Katie admitted defeat: “I appreciate, I’m never going to win on this one. India is a geographical location so I’m going to

have to let you have that point.”

Katie has made several subsequent This Morning appearances in which she’s declared her aversion for overweight people and dislike of those with a tattoo. But isn’t diversity something to be celebrated, rather than avoided? “Yes we can ‘celebrate’ it,” she mocked. “But people say ‘diversity’ and ‘social mobility’ – kind of as The Guardian would do – in a noble voice like that’s what we should all aspire towards. We shouldn’t aspire towards it. If it happens then that’s marvellous. But I don’t believe in any social mobility policies, I think they’re all a load of codswallop.”

Time to find out why Katie feels the need to spout her contentious opinions publicly rather than keeping them in the background. “I do have very strong views, but they are views that quite a lot of people have – and that’s what annoys people so much. That actually, it’s stuff we say inside our houses. I’m saying out loud what people say in private.” Is she certain? That most of us actually do subscribe to her opinions – and does she even believe them herself?

“That’s a question I get asked in the street. I really mean the stuff I say.

For seven years I’ve been saying this stuff.”

To her credit, Katie recognises

Katie Hopkins on redheads: “Ginger babies. Like a baby. Just so much harder to love.”

FEATURES

that a lot of people “couldn’t give a monkey’s armpit” about her views “and that’s fine.” Some people, she says, “think I write for a trashy paper so it’s all tabloid trash. That’s also fine. But there are also a lot of people who find there isn’t a voice for them. It’s why Farage has reso-

Tuesday June 10, 2014

nated so much.” And she’s absolutely right; it has never been clearer that so many people feel unrepresented within contemporary society. That’s why it’s somewhat a shame that Katie’s outrageous comments on names and obesity dilute her thoughts on political correctness and equality of

“[Some people] think I write for a trashy paper so it’s all tabloid trash. That’s also fine.

But there are also a lot of people who find there isn’t a voice for them. It’s why Farage has resonated so much”

outcomes; to the extent that such ideas are disregarded as equally silly.

I suppose it’s her own fault, but the point stands: Katie believes, for instance, political correctness has “just gone so far.” Which is true. “I mean sure, we’re going to look after a few people; great. But it’s a very blunt tool and it’s taking out vast swathes of our vocabulary.”

She’s spot on. While the original intent of PC may have been wise – to encourage tact and sensitivity to issues of gender, race, religion, and such – the effect of it has driven people to avoid these topics altogether, thereby hindering our confidence to live and work with differences. It has gone so far that PC itself is now a big-

ger problem than the matters it was intended to address.

So, while Katie is sometimes right – not always, but sometimes – she does herself no favours by peppering her arguments with personal attacks and outbursts. It adds to the excitement of television, yes, with viewers driven to shouting from their sofas. But it renders her other, more restrained, ideas totally redundant.

So has she considered being less aggressive in debates? Does she find it difficult to avoid being personal in arguments? “I don’t find it difficult.

When they get played back of course it’ll be me who’s accused of being personal. But it’s usually the other person that goes for me first. And if you go for me, I’ll take you out at the kneecaps. I do like to be personal and a lot of what we say is personal opinion, so I’m going to attack the person.

I’ve got no problem with that. People need to be a bit thicker skinned as we’re too sensitive in this world.”

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and malice don’t affect her one bit: “I love that people feel able to say really harsh stuff to me that they would never say in polite society.

That’s a fantastic achievement.” Of course it is! It’s undeniable that Katie Hopkins practices what she preaches. She can dish it out, but she can also take it. And that’s quite brilliant: if we want to be constantly polite and measured (perhaps, sometimes overly) then that’s not a problem. But likewise, those who want to be critical – and critiqued – are as consistent.

In reality, Katie’s views are entirely harmless: she will never hold a position of authority, nor will she have any genuine influence within society. So whilst I don’t endorse her opinions – as Katie says in our interview: we should agree to disagree – she provides terrific entertainment.

Ask yourself this: have you ever thought or talked about Katie? Ever watched her television appearanc-

“If someone calls me a parody, that infuriates me beyond belief. But if you call me a horse face or big nose – then no problem, keep going” For me, the most fascinating slice of the interview came as we discussed what Katie finds irritating. “I think it’s much too easy to excuse people as being controversial. Some people excuse my Twitter account by saying ‘oh it’s a parody’ and ‘people like that can’t be real’. We are real and we do think what we say,” she asserted.

I asked if she feels more offended by people dismissing her, than the abuse she receives online. “Oh totally. If someone calls me a parody, that infuriates me beyond belief. But if you call me a horse face or big nose – then no problem, keep going.”

If you Tweet, check out the replies to any of Katie’s comments – new or old – and you’ll see some of the abuse to which she is subjected daily. But it truly seems the insults

es, or typed her name into Google?

Then there you are, she has achieved her ambitions; sparking discussion and debate.

It was our question to Katie, likening her to Marmite in that we either love her or hate her, that brought about the perfect summary of her character. “That’s absolutely fair,” she proclaimed. “I think I should probably be sponsored by Marmite in reality. I quite like the idea that if you have a strong opinion, at least people can either hate it or like it. So if it’s about me, then they can either hate me or like me.”

I don’t know about you – but whilst it’s strong stuff, I love armite.

@oscarjpearson

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FEATURES

Tuesday June 10, 2014

GAME OF yORK: A son

Alcuin-Stark The most northern of the nine kingdoms, unlike its southern neighbours Alcuin is populated by fewer birds and more carnivores. Although you’d be hard pressed to find a direwolf anywhere, beware of the cats!

Being a spacious kingdom, the Alcuin Northerners live in large areas and are extremely proud of their homeland, despite their lack of facilities. It is because of this that House Alcuin and House Derwent foster cordial relations, as Alcuiners often visit the Vale of Derwent to petition the royal JCRC council, party the night away and most importantly, drink at their surrogate local

bar, the Courtyard.

House Alcuin has attempted to participate in greater Kingdom affairs, with many awards being won by their nobility, such as Lady Campbell and Lord Dubois. Alcuin has not had many members on the Small Council of Sabbs, the last one being the Hand of the King, Lady Charlotte Winter.

Alcuin has long had a reputation for putting fair play over politics, with their Lords known for their supporting of liberation movements.

Maesters of the Nine Kingdoms, LORD THOMAS RON and SER C

WINTERMORELL

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THE EY

Vanbrugh-Lannister The current ruling House of the Nine Kingdoms, Vanbrugh has played a central role in the Small Council, with nearly every single one having at least one Vanbrite.

Vanbrugh is famous for being one of the richest houses, under the visionary leadership of King Kallum First of his Name, ruling from Kasterly Block.

However, in recent times, the gold mines have dried up, yet House Vanbrugh still remains a place where leaders of the Kingdom are churned out.

The infamous Endorsement of Vanbrugh has been many a time the deciding factor for those who seek to help rule the Kingdom, with the Lord of Kasterly Block being a

kingmaker in their own right.

House Vanbrugh is found in the West and covers a vast area, including the Port of Eric Milner, the enclave of Barbara Scott and Donald Barron, as well as Fairfax Island.

The riches of House Vanbrugh have seen many improvements to the Kingdom as the subjects living conditions, with places such as Vanbrugh Paradise being built with that money.

Furthermore, House Vanbrugh has successfully convinced the Council of Maesters to look into rebuilding the Port of Eric Milner to withstand the wrath of the dread creatures often commanded by the vengeful Kraken in the Lake.

KASTERLY BLOCK

H S G RU AND B N RL A V STE WE

JAMES DS N A L M STOR H

Wentworth-Tyrell House Wentworth populates the lush and fertile area of the South West of the Kingdom, with the many fields leading out to the Great Sea. Wentworth is a port of commerce and trade with the Free Cities of Fulford.

The large fields are overlooked by Highgarden, which is known for having the best

H

T OR

food that the Council of Maesters can provide.

House Wentworth, while officially bending the knee to the Iron Swivelly Chair, has often engaged in its own agenda with the Association of Tyrells, which has gained money and influence with the Council of Maesters.

T R WO T N ACH E W RE

KING’S LANDING

F O LE A V

R E D

James-Baratheon The house responsible for unseating Captain Tom Scott (aka The Mad King), James, has held King’s Landing as part of the Stormlands.

King Tim Ngwema First of his Name took the throne but was regarded by many to be a more efficient candidate than President, with many challenges to his authority, such as the infamous Alcuin Rebellion led by Warden of the North Oliver Hutchings.

James has fallen on hard times of late, with infighting in their previous committee. James has always played a large role in en-

HIGHGARDEN

Halifax-Martell

Separated from the rest of Heslington Westeros by the Sea of Twenty Two Acres, and connected by the Straights of Garrowby Way, Halifax has long had a streak of independence and influence not shared amongst other houses.

A relatively new addition to the Kingdom, Halifax has seen a lot of influence on the Small Council of SABBs, with a majority of them in the last five years all having at least one Halifaxer,

influence they have long vied for against their rivals, the House of Vanbrugh.

Additionally, as seen in recent elections, House Halifax has often teamed up with their allies in Langwith, to help each other gain seats on the Small Council, with Master of Whispers George Offer being crucial in the rise of King Sam, first of his name, as well as a close friendship with Lady Cassandra.

HALIFAX DRONE

FEATURES

Tuesday June 10, 2014

ng of GEESE AND SWANS

CALLUM SHANNON, chronicle the geography of Heslington Westeros...

Derwent-Arryn

Langwith-Targaryen

whilst always welcome in the Vale of Derwent, may find themselves feeling somewhat out of place amongst the locals.

It is also said that Derwent will make many people ‘fly’ due to the copious amounts of alcohol consumed in their two bars. Like its fantasy counterpart, Derwent also includes a little island outpost, Eden’s Court.

House Langwith used to have a strong foothold in Heslington Westeros. However, under the rule of Tim II, Langwith was exiled to the Eastern continent.

However, under the leadership of the Young Dragon Lord, Sam Maguire (soon to be King Sam First of his Name), Langwith has flourished upon the Eastern Continent and has continued to play an active role on the Small Council, as well as gaining acclaim for forcing the Council of Maesters to pay the Langwithians back for not providing them enough firewood during the Long Winter.

Langwith has a long tradition of holding positions on

LE

S

Isolated in the far east of Heslington Westeros, Noble House Derwent, with its distinctive blue and white logo, is a land of tradition.

Filled with grey mountainous blocks, Derwent has sent precious few SABBs to King’s Landing lately.

Known far and wide for their insular traditions and social events, visitors to Derwent,

K E

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IC

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DRAGONSTONE

GO

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the Small Council of Sabbs, having two Hands of the King (Lord Sam Asfahani, and Lady Cassandra Brown), as well as numerous other candidates such as the Ancient Ser Jason Brandwood, who oversaw the initial landing of House Langwith.

Langwithians are commonly noted for forming very strong relationships with each other in order to keep the ideas of Langwith pure, engaging in ancient rituals, such as the infamous Punch, where it is said the gods flip a coin to see who will become mad on each night.

They are known to dislike Derwent, due to the previous historical grievances between the two houses.

HESLINGTON ESSOS gaging with the Kingdom and has routinely had people attempt to and gain power on the Small Council of SABBs, such as Master of Whispers Lord Bob Hughes and the well-chronicled run of Lady Harriet Gibson.

James currently is led by a fresher, new to the role, Lord Gareth Dybiec, who seems set to make an impact on the Kingdom. Additionally, their Lakeside JCR is often battered by the storms on the Great Lake, and comes under regular attack by the Geese sent by the vengeful Kraken in the Lake.

X

Goodricke-Greyjoy Having settled on the swampy islands off the coast of Heslington Westeros, Goodricke is no stranger to hardship, given the lack of amenities in that area when they first arrived.

However, after settling in, Goodricke have adapted many unique traditions, such as GoodMood and GoodFood, which set

Constantine-Clegane House Constantine was built on a section of the newly found Eastern Continent as a gift from House Vanbrugh (who sits on the Iron Swivelly Chair) due to years of continued service and friendship, as well as a desire for expansion.

Their namesake, Constantine, came from an empire where dogs were famously used to fight and harry opponents, and hence the dogs on the shield of Clegane prove to be a noteworthy comparison.

them apart from other places and give them a strong sense of community.

Goodricke have often reeved to the main continent in an attempt to gain power in King’s Landing, but it has been rare that they have succeeded and the last was a short one, under Lord Reaper Tim Ellis, Second of his Name.

HERE BE THE YORK ST. DOTHRAKI IMAGE CREDIT: SER ALI AMER

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Tuesday June 10, 2014

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Vısıon 23 YORK

SPOTLIGHT: POLE EXERCISE

HELENA HORTON chats to Meghan Greenbank about Pole Exercise

Photo credit: Daniel Golton

POLE EXERCISE was something I watched at Roses for Vision in between other things, and it actually unexpectedly turned out to be one of the best things I watched.

I chatted to the President, Meghan about the sport.

“I actually started because my mum went to try it out and since then I’ve absolutely loved it!”

Unsurprisingly, seeing as it is gymnastics on a pole, you need a huge amount of core strength.

“It’s amazing for core muscles

and toning so it definitely complements going to the gym!

Pole exercise has a much more friendly and inclusive amosphere than you would find, going to the gym, too. Our photographer was worred that being a man standing in the corner with a camera would be awkward, but they were really welcoming, not to mention the fact that a lot of men do Pole, too.

“In terms of professionals there are so many men that do it, and it’s really impressive as they

are so strong.”

She told me about the sessions.

“A usual session consists of a warm up, half an hour of strength and conditioning floor work and half an hour of learning moves on the poles, then a warm down.”

“The club is welcome to anyone, if you’re a beginner or a pro and it is genuinely a really friendly atmosphere. The uni club is really friendly and relaxed, everyone is welcome and we pride ourselves on that!”

HOCKEY DOUBLE SECONDS: JAMES 11 LANGWITH 6 The table in Pool B now stands: 1. Halifax 1sts 2. Alcuin 1sts 3. James 2nds 4. Derwent 2nds 5. Goodricke 1sts 6. Langwith 2nds 7. Wentworth 1sts

Men of the Match: Chris Butterworth and Nick Mitchell Briony Peters

Sunday saw the last games of summer league before the pools are split into the cup, plate and ... divisions. In the sweltering heat teams James and Langwith played their last matches to secure their positions in Group B. Both teams had played earlier in the day, yet their tiredness didn’t prevent players from making some excellent runs.

Just after the first whistle had been blown, James hit the ground running and excellent pass from defender Izi Hutchinson to midfield Chris Butterworth provided James with their first chance on goal. Butterworth dodged several Langwith defenders and after a slight scuffle in the D, forward Hattie Parker secured James’ first goal of the match. James could not be stopped in the initial stages of the match and

after being set up by Poppy Bullard, Nick Mitchell went on another amazing run and hit the ball across the back line for Butterworth to tap into Langwith’s goal. Mitchell and Butterworth were unstoppable in this match and the dynamic duo went on to secure a further three goals. However, towards the end of the match the heat was clearly getting to the James players and Langwith forward Ben Al-Shaikh scored two goals in quick succession just before the half time whistle sounded.

The next half saw Mitchell and Butterworth continue to dominate the goal tally, however, Langwith were also putting much pressure on the James defenders. Andrew Lister and Barnaby Steel were both stopped in their tracks by defenders Briony Peters and Becky Hall. How-

ever, with the help of Simon Downes and Fiona Kingwill, Langwith came back to 8-5.

Unfortunately for the Langwith side, the comeback was short lived as the Swans soon made it 11-5, with co-captain Joss Winter securing two of these goals. In the last five minutes Langwith were pressurising the James end, with Emily Arter making continual saves. However, the yellow team were persistent and just before the ending whistle made it 11-6. This match secured James’ 2nd team third place, one point behind Alcuin 1sts, and Langwith 2s, sixth.

Prior to this match James 2s had played Alcuin 1s and drawn, 3-3 and Langwith 2s had lost 4-8 against Goodricke. Goodricke also played Halifax 1s and lost 4-7, with Jamie Emmerson scoring all 7.

24 Vısıon YORK

Tuesday June 10, 2014

SPORT

EXCLUSIVE: GREG

“You’ve got to distinguish between English football and football played in England.”

SPORT

Tuesday June 10, 2014

Vısıon 25 YORK

DYKE INTERVIEW

GETTING TO KNOW THE CHAIRMAN OF THE FA G

reg Dyke, Chairman of the FA and outgoing Chancellor of the University of York, talks to Oliver Meakin and James Pascoe about England’s World Cup chances, the new FA proposal……. and the secret of the JLD! Greg Dyke is a man who seems to be enjoying himself at the moment, and who can blame him given that it is part of his job to fly off to the warm climes of Brazil to mingle with the stars and watch the biggest spectacle in football, the World Cup . In keeping with the reportedly relaxed mood surrounding Roy Hodgson’s England team, the FA Chairman sounds confident and casual when discussing England’s World Cup preparations over the phone. “I think everyone thinks Hodgson has done a good job, he’s a very likeable, ethical man, and I think he will do quite well in Brazil.” Like so many English pundits before the World Cup, Dyke is tightlipped over where exactly he predicts England will end up in the World Cup, but it seems reasonable to suggest that he is not expecting Hodgson’s men to match the glory of 1966.

Since being appointed FA Chairman last summer, Greg Dyke has led an eventful tenure.

Dyke, who has been Chancellor at the University of York since 2004, has seemingly broken the mould with some of his more recent predecessors and has laudably attempted to push through genuine reform to the English football pyramid, instead of burying his head in the sand and hoping that the chronic problems in English football will disappear by themselves – problems made all the more relevant by the comparative lack of experience.

England’s World Cup campaign kicks off on Saturday against Italy, four-time tournament winners, and the Three Lions’ conquerors at Euro 2012. England were beaten on penalties in Kiev after what had been a promising tournament , despite Hodgson’s last-gasp appointment before the Euros. As well as being the first summer finals that Hodgson will lead having presided over the entire qualifying and preparation processes, this will be the first tournament that England will go into with Dyke as FA Chairman, and he remains bullish about England’s chances. “I think it’s a better squad than we thought we would have had at the beginning of the season. Where we had the choice we’ve gone for youth and I think that’s a good idea.”

He is also fully behind the England manager, and dismisses speculation that Hodgson’s fate rests on the team’s World Cup performance; “He has a contract that goes beyond the World Cup, we expect him to continue the job.”

“Football played in England in the Premier League is in a pretty healthy state. English football isn’t as healthy.”

Despite his apparent optimism before the World Cup, we ask him whether he thought he presided over a dark time for English football.

“You’ve got to distinguish between English football and football played in England. Football played in England in the Premier League is

in a pretty healthy state. English football isn’t as healthy.”

Dyke has made headlines in recent weeks, with his proposals for a ‘B team’ system, comparable to that seen in the Spanish league, where clubs field second teams, primarily made up of youth team members. The idea is that the ‘B teams’ will be able to produce the next generation of young British talent, something that Spain has been able to do in recent years, producing the golden generation of players, winning three major international competitions in three years (Euro 2008, 2010 Fifa World Cup and Euro 2012). He clearly sees the problem of the dearth of young English players’ football as a problem not down to Premier League managers. “You are going to do all you can to win, so you are going to look for younger players that have had more widespread experience than most English boys, but not always, because some great English players do come through.”

The emergence of the likes of Ross Barkley, Raheem Stirling and Luke Shaw as squad members for the World Cup side is possibly a sign that English football is beginning to change, and that youth is being given a chance in the Premier League. Greg Dyke is keen to point out the success that the Belgian FA has had in nurturing young talent under Michel Sablon, perhaps a model to base an English transformation on. “If you look at the Belgium players, and people like that, by the time they are 22, or 21, they will have had one hundred or two hundred games at a quite competitive level. No English footballers have that now.”

Whilst there seems to be the first signs of talented young players coming through the English youth systems, managing to break into many first teams is the real challenge for young players at the moment. “Our problem is quite a big one, we’re quite good the U17 level, we’ve just won the Euro’s, we’re quite good at that age, but our kids just don’t get through the system. The gap between them and playing in the Premier League, which is the richest league in the world, is a big jump, and we have to find a way to help them through.”

Many in the footballing world have put the failure to nurture a new generation of young British players down to the prevalence of foreign managers and owners in the Premier League, more interested in short term success rather than long term development. Dyke controversially highlighted the situation with the Manchester City side, who won the league this year with only one English first team regular starter, Joe Hart. Dyke is keen to dispel the idea that he was disappointed that Manchester City won the league, saying “I didn’t really criticise them as some people said, alright it was disappointing they had so few English players”. However, he is keen to note that “We’ve gone from 70% to 30% English players playing in the Premier League. If you look forward, it gets worse.”

For this Dyke wanted to ‘turn the tanker’ of English football, and secure a core of British players in every Premier League team. He was unfazed in ruffling the footballing establishment by introducing the new ‘B team’ proposal

saying; “We knew there would be a lot of people who wouldn’t like it. My answer to them is if you don’t think that there is a problem, it’s fine. If you do think there’s a problem – and I think we’ve analysed it pretty well – if you think there’s a problem, then what are you going to do about it? Unless we turn the tanker, I think the number of English players playing in the Premier League will continue to decline.”

The focus of the development of English coaching is at the forefront of the plans to rejuvenate English football, with the results of a commission soon to be published by the FA, looking into where changes need to be made.

The focus of this seems to be at grass roots level, a priority of other nations right throughout Europe. “The second part of my commission is looking at all-weather pitches and coaching, and we will come up with a whole set of recommendations, and then say, where do we get the money from?.” The FA now want to make it easier for young promising coaches to receive their coaching badges, by possibly subsidising the cost of the courses. Part of his aim is to increase the number of coaches in British football, a figure currently drastically lower than in Spain or Germany, and provide players the environment to nurture their skills with new state of the art training facilities. At the heart of the FA plans is the new St George training centre at Burton, the new home of the English national side from youth teams to the First XI.

I’ll be surprised if in 10 years’ time if we don’t have an openly gay footballer.”

We also asked Dyke for his opinion on hate crime in football. The spectre of racism in English football has persisted in recent years, not least the John Terry and Anton Ferdinand affair, where the FA’s decision to sack John Terry as team captain led to Fabio Capello’s resignation before Euro 2012. Nevertheless, Dyke is upbeat when asked for his opinion on the issue.

“I think that enormous strides have been made over 30 years. I heard [ex-footballer] Trevor Phillips (whose daughter went to York) saying on the radio the other day that thirty years ago, he wouldn’t go to watch Chelsea, the team he supported because he is black. Now, that isn’t the case now, and enormous progress has been made. Compared to what it was like, I think we’ve done a great job.”

Moving towards the state of homophobia within British football, Dyke is hopeful that the game has progressed along far enough for players to ‘come out’ during their careers. “I think the wold has changed, I think when one of them comes out, others will too. I’ll be surprised if in 10 years’ time if we don’t have an openly gay footballer.”

Dyke is sure that there are players in the Premier League hiding their sexuality from the fans, and possibly their team mates, but he welcomes the Equality campaigns that the FA has championed in the last decade.

Ollie Meakin and James Pascoe

26 Vısıon YORK

SPORT

Tuesday June 10, 2014

SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES? Our deputy Sports Editors BATTLE IT OUT...

V

YES: Lorenzo Wong LW:

From an entirely sporting perspective, of course we bloody should. A lazy Wikipedia search this morning informed me that, bar the Olympics and Asian Games, the Commonwealth Games are the largest multi-sport event in the world (though I’ve never heard of the Asian Games…oops) and so must be taken seriously. It’s ignorant for one to think that sports such as Athletics, Hockey and Shooting are only important and can only be enjoyed once every four years at the Olympics.

JB:

And, my dear friend, from an entirely rational perspective, we bloody well should not! In my view, the Commonwealth Games are merely a reminder that Athletics aren’t sport, they aren’t a hobby, they’re just boring. The fact that these games will perennially be overshadowed by the World Cup, similarly to the Paralympics by the actual Olympics - yes; I am a cynic - means that they will merely get an overspill of ITV coverage and audience. To be perfectly frank, I feel as though athletes in this year’s games aren’t even particularly excited for them. I doubt Usain Bolt or Christine Ohuruogu are thinking “Ah Glasgow! The land of milk and honey”- I’m sure they are aware they’re entering an area with a worse life expectancy than the Gaza Strip.

N0: Jon Barrow

LW:

“Athletics aren’t sport”??? Stop right there.

If anything, Athletics have provided some of the greatest sporting moments, from Bolt’s 9.58 second salvo to the arch of Michael Johnson’s back. Furthermore, I struggle to see how the Commonwealth Games could be overshadowed by the World Cup when football isn’t on the former’s agenda. Sports enthusiasts need a fresh injection of the events which the Games offer, even if it does represent multi-sport competition on a lower scale…and I hear Glasgow has some cracking Fish & Chip shops.

JB:

Ha! More people remember Usain Bolt for his impressions of Richard Branson than his 100m sprints!

Other sporting events take precedent this year, and every year of the Commonwealth Games. The World Cup has already had so much attention, albeit it from online fantasy football enthusiasts, it is still attention! I do agree, though, that we need an injection of an athletics zeitgeist similar to the “Track and Field” culture of the US. Come on though, do we really want to become running and javelin-ing obsessed like our lesser, US counterparts? I think not.

LW:

That question is futile, for we already are obsessed and already possess said “Track and Field” culture. The entire nation’s jubilance following gold medals for Mo Farah, Jessica Ennis and Greg Rutherford at the Olympics are testament to that. Of course, the World Cup and football in general have every reason to be centre stage in this country at the moment, but such enthusiasm must not act as a veneer to sports with a little less exposure. The Commonwealth Games is a chance to remind us all that we embrace a multitude of sports here, and I’m sure the quality of the event will act as a justification for that.

JB:

People only like Jess Ennis because she’s fit, Mo Farah because he’s a fulcrum of diversity and an underdog, and Greg Rutherford? Isn’t he bankrupt? Athletics clearly didn’t do much for him. The Commonwealth Games will be a nice bit of background noise when sipping a nice Pimm’s in the pub garden, but nothing more, and potentially something less.

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SPORT

Tuesday June 10, 2014

LORENZO WONG Follow me @lorenzo95wong

Grass Life Around three months ago, the University announced that researchers would be carrying out a study on the management history of the 1966 World Cup, investigating the tournament’s impact on local and national economic development.

The study will make comparisons to other World Cups, including the upcoming one in Brazil.

Having digested the details of the project, it got me thinking – what impact will this year’s tournament have on the University itself?

Immediately, my thoughts turned to the YUSU Bars. During games involving the likes of England, Spain and Argentina, places such as The Courtyard and Lounge are bound to be packed to the rafters with booze-ridden students, ranging from the fanatics to those still expecting to see Joe Cole in the starting line-up. But why should the student community be limited to watching the World Cup indoors when, Yorkshire unpredictability permitted, we should be in for some lovely weather during the event?

Is it too much to ask for a few projector screens and barrels of Pimm’s to be provided to the student community to make an outdoor viewing experience possible?

Of course, most of the games will take place in the late evenings, but the 5pm kick-offs could serve as a decent time to be sat on a patch of grass whilst sipping a cold drink to the beat of Germany Vs. Portugal.

Though it may seem a bonkers idea, it’s surely worth considering. If the World Cup proves to be a great time for the YUSU Bars, make it a greater one for your football-frenzied students.

Sticks and Water

Vısıon 27 YORK

Crazy Morrell WITH THE end of exam season fast approaching, the library is fast descending back into its state of perennial neglect. JB, Harry and Raymond, once venues for us to scuttle around and wonder why we didn’t do more work during the Easter break, are now consigned to more months of solitude.

Wouldn’t it be great, therefore, to make use of the old stomping ground one last time before we all realise that we’re actually allowed to go home now?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always fancied having a good game of British Bulldog in the Harry Fairhurst building. Alternatively, those brilliantly shaped chairs could provide the basis for a poor quality assault course.

And let’s not discount Morrell. Those conference rooms are basically sophisticated squash courts anyway. I am aware that those humongous tables could prove an issue, but what the heck. I’ve got a word quota that needs filling.

This Is ‘66 The World (within the city

WHEN IT comes to actually taking part in sport, I’ve always maintained an element of caution. Though football and tennis have never been my calling, they are both my comfort and threshold of sporting ambition, beyond which I must not pass.

Freshers’ Week, however, injects us all with this irrational need to try new things, even though enjoyment of said activities is recognised as nothing but impossible.

Despite my inability in any sport involving some sort of stick, I dragged myself to a Lacrosse taster session, and previous struggles with water sports were duly punished by nearly drowning whilst scuba diving (in the shallow end of a swimming pool).

But these experiences simply could not stop my crazed yearning for diversity and pathetic desperation to make friends (why do you think I’ve joined this bloody newspaper?). Rather than totally avoiding sports involving sticks or water, therefore, my addiction led me to one which happened to employ both at the same time.

This presumed anarchic, satanic abomination of a sport was

called underwater hockey, or Octopush, and my first ten minutes taking part in it were horrendous.

On first glance, it was to me the dysfunctional three-way lovechild of the London Aquarium, Baywatch, and the Battle of Agincourt.

With bodies flying everywhere, bulldozing one another in the quest to whack a small black puck into goals on each side of the pool, Octopush was sporting pandemonium.

The sport is played by two teams of six with each trying to manoeuvre the puck across the bottom of a swimming pool into goals not much bigger than the space I get in this column. Players are equipped with snorkelling equipment, fins, and a stick of maximum 350mm in length.

Given that I was unable to put my mask on in a way which prevented water from entering through inconsistencies in my cheekbones, I was never going to stand a chance.

But my spectacular failure at Octopush did not coat my gradual appreciation of how much skill is required to thrive at it. The sport requires a great deal of speed, agility, aggression, and vision, all of which must be used whilst un-

derwater and with the slight hindrance of having to go up for air every once in a while. Verbal communication is also impossible, so a team must rely on a great deal of preparation before and tactical astuteness during a game.

Furthermore, I’m sure most of you don’t have a passionate fear of sticks and water sports, so don’t let the mental image of David Hasselhoff wearing a snorkelling mask put you off. Now really is a great time to join the Club. The A and B teams finished 8th and 12th respectively in the Student Nationals back in March, and the York team obliterated Lancaster 12-0 at this year’s Roses. Octopush is a sport going places at the University.

By the time this goes to print, most of you will have finished exams, and so now is an opportunity to get involved in all sorts of wonderful activities this place provides us. Though I personally struggle to see the appeal, I suspect that swimming and hitting things with a stick are ideal methods of coping with post-exam trauma for a lot of people. If you’re one of them, perhaps you should try something a bit “whacky” which really “floats” your boat (…no?).

walls) when England last won the World Cup: - News outlets begin reporting on the strange disappearance of York resident “Halifax College”, who was last seen in the Heslington area in the September of 1966. Forty-eight years on, there remains no clue as to Halifax’s whereabouts.

- The University’s History of Art department is selected to design the release poster for Batman, but is decommissioned shortly after when initial blueprints show Brian Lara stood beside Robin.

- Just one year on from its inception, Derwent College receives its first complaints over inadequate accommodation, with student dissatisfaction ranging from “faulty heating” to “sh*t in my sink”.

- The University successfully leads a team of ducks to the campus by leaving a twelvemile long trail of hoisin sauce along the way. They then go on to win the College Cup in 1974.

- University representatives reject proposals for an alpaca to be included in the Vanbrugh College logo.

yorkvision.co.uk/sport

ısıon VSport

SPOTL IGHT: POLE EXERC ISE

8-PA GOAL GE SPECSIDE I INSI AL D

YORK

PG 23

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James1sts end group stages in style VISION INTERVIEWS GREG DYKE SEE PAGES 24 & 25

By HELENA SUTCLIFFE James 1sts rounded off a very impressive start of the campaign on Friday afternoon, winning their final game of the group stage 9-1 against Derwent 3rds.

Derwent had their work cut out. James Briars and James Davies were given far too much space for players of their quality and interchanged passes quickly to create the first chance of the game, winning a corner which was headed over by Ralph Gill. Their next set piece however broke the deadlock, Davies’ free kick, awarded for a slide tackle which Derwent weren’t happy about, swung into the box and Briars was on hand to head home the swans’ first goal of the day. James began to dominate

all of possession, setting up camp permanently in Derwent’s last 3rd and increased their lead in under fifteen minutes, a fantastic ball by Josh Spurling setting off Freddie Ferrao who destroyed Derwent’s defence all day with his pace and finished calmly from a tight angle.

Derwent were doing well to prevent a cricket score, with a great save from Cooper, stopping Davies’ shot with his foot and Milton managing to win a few battles with Briars but after 20 minutes this all fell apart. Josh Spurling didn’t make clean contact with his shot form outside of the box, but his effort deflected off Davies and ended up in the net. Straight from kickoff James won the ball back, Haresnape sending a pass

through to Ferrao who easily ran past the defence to score a fourth.

The damage was done in the first half but Derwent’s task now was to avoid further embarrassment and not allow another onslaught in the second half. It looked as though James were intent on starting as they finished however, Spurling again with a pin point pass to play Ferrao through but the winger saw his effort hit the post. They hit the woodwork again soon after, Dan Haresnape this time seeing his long range shot bounce back off the bar. James Briars had better luck though, showing great flare to skill on the defence and fired into the far corner. Davies had a chance to score his third but again Cooper denied him with another

sterling save but unfortunately could do nothing to prevent the rebound from Ferrao, who scored his third goal of the day. Despite a demolishing of their opponents, one small negative seemed for the players to dampen even a performance as sparkling as this, with James conceding their first goal of the tournament in their final group match, failing to clear the ball in the box and George McGill was onside to fire in a consolation goal for Derwent.

James still had the final say in a game they truly dominated, Ralph Gill calmly converting a penalty for a handball in the box which again Derwent were adamant shouldn’t have been given, wrapping up a 9-1 win for James.

Photo: Petroc Taylor

JLD OPENS FOR SERVICE New pitch finally opens to public Issue 244

@YorkVisionSport

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ast week saw the brand new JLD unveiled and used for the first time. The pitch, which was only finished last week, will be the new home for the University of York’s Hockey club, with the teams playing their home fixtures in the BUCS league there next year.

So what better way to christen the pitch than by the club themselves, the team enjoyed a light hearted friendly between third years who will be leaving at the end of the year (making the most of their opportunity to actually play on the pitch) against the second and first years who will be based there for their remaining years at York.

Declan Hall, the former men’s 3x captain enjoyed the match, saying of the result ‘it was 7-7 after normal time, the 1st & 2nd years beat the 3rd years 2-1 on shuttles (the new version of the penalty shootout in hockey). It was great game, mainly due to the pitch’!

Sports operations manager for the univer-

Tuesday June 10th, 2014

www.flickr.com/photos/yorkvision

sity Ashley Smith told Vision the new AstroTurf pitch is the start of a batch of brand new facilities for students, ‘obviously the facilities on Hes West are key for us to transform this year, this was phase one, phase two will come with the athletics track so once this is all transferred over we will be able to start new work on the athletics track, all in all it works out to be great for university sport’.

The university’s sport president Cass Brown is also delighted with York’s development of sports facilities. ‘I’m thrilled with the new JLD - it’s an asset to both York Sport and the York Sport Union and will be thoroughly enjoyed by UYHC in the coming years’.

The new JLD will now also be home to the men’s football college cup, with the remaining games in the tournament all taking place on the new surface which is located behind the sports centre.

sport@yorkvision.co.uk

www.yorkvision.co.uk/sport