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IN THIS ISSUE 3 // Life & Style - Valentine’s Day gift ideas - How York students spend their Valentine’s Day 4 // Film - Five films to absolutely not watch with your Significant Other this Valentine’s Day - Awkward movie sex scenes 5 // Music - David Bowie and our obsession with the glorious dead 6// Food - Nisa’s own version of a romantic, homemade meal 7// Sex & Relationships - Advice from the editors - York’s most eligible bachelor?

EDITORS’ NOTE Hey Guys!

We are your new SCENE editors, Abbie and Dianne.

This marks the beginning of a new era of SCENE, rediscovering our roots whilst exploring new avenues.

With Valentine’s Day upon us it seemed right to dedicate this issue to that special day. Whether you are all loved up, or happily single, hopefully we can provide you with some Valentine’s inspiration! Here’s a sample of our Valentine’s Day playlists... there’s one for those of you who are loved up too, check it out by following our YorkVisionMusic Spotify!

THE TEAM Editors // Abbie Anderson Dianne Apen-Sadler Life & Style // Hope Butler Film // Jasper Hart Ed Hunter Music // Louis McGillick Tom Seddon

All The Love Abbie & Dianne

Food // Abigail Cornthwaite Freya Kingsley

Want to write something for Scene? scene@yorkvision.co.uk Keep updated with everything Vision! www.yorkvision.co.uk Facebook Page- York Vision SCENE

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VALENTINE’S DAY GIFT IDEAS V

alentine’s Day. The one day of the year where the pressure to be romantic increases tenfold, and reminders of the fact that you have to splash the cash and show that you care seem to be staring you in the face every which way you turn.

It can be hard to find the balance between vomit inducing sweetness and seeming aloof, but hopefully this is where I can help, with some fairly cheap and personal ways to treat your loved ones, the kinds of gifts that are guaranteed to score you brownie points for weeks to come.

1.

THEMED MOVIE NIGHTS

It’s the kind of occasion where Netflix and Chill just isn’t going to cut it, but if you’re still one for a quiet night in, or a movie boffin, then a themed movie night just might be the gift idea for you! Themed movie nights are a cheap and personal way to

an evening filled with their favourite movies and the obligatory popcorn can be a great and romantic way to spend your Valentine’s Day. 2.

Picture the scene, it’s a few days before Valentine’s Day, and you’ve neglected to book a table for the evening. You phone up their favourite restaurant, and what do you know, it’s booked, unless you want to start eating at 9pm that is. You panic, call a few other restaurants, until you come to the fatal conclusion that nothing but Oki’s is going to have a table for you tonight. An indoor picnic can solve all your Valentine’s Day problems, and be just as romantic as going out. Eating it on a picnic blanket, indoors, surrounded by candles and fairylights creates the perfect setting for a technology-free, romance filled evening that’s just the two of you, and guaranteed to be better than the generic restaurant meal where you are surrounded by other couples. Plus you avoid the awkwardness of sitting next to the couple that is fighting/overly touchy/in the middle of a proposal.

3.

spend some time with your other half, and show them you really know what they enjoy. It could be a relaxed evening filled with John Hughes movies and 80s romance, or a selection of movies from their favourite film star. Or perhaps they are more into horror movies and looking for someone to cuddle when things get scary? Whatever their movie preference, buckling down for

INDOOR PICNIC

4.

HIS AND HER JUMPERS

Fashion faux pas or ironically cool? No one will ever know, but for the ultimate lovers statement don one of rad.co Valentine’s Day selection. Be it colourful jumpers with R2D2 and C-3PO printed on, Spoon and Nutella, Shrek and Fiona or Bonnie and Clyde, these slogan jumpers are the epitome of Valentine’s Day commitment 5.

TREASURE HUNT

The great thing about a personalised Treasure Hunt is that it can be anything you make it to be, from the elaborate Leslie Knope-style ones across town to little paper clues leading to a box of chocolates, or you know, you. Linking the clues to things you’ve done as a couple or memories you share are a great way to reminisce about all the great and stupid things you’ve done.

WHIMSICAL COOKIE COMPANY

I’m a sucker when it comes to themed food. Or sweet messages that are edible so I can hide the fact that either my boyfriend or I ever thought of buying something so sickly sweet for one another. Novelty themed cakes or cookies are a quirky take on the more Valentine’s Day chocolates if your one for the more traditional romance. The Whimsical Cookie Company, featured on notonthehighstreet.com, have a great selection of Valentine’s Day treats from cookies shaped like moons (‘I love You to the Moon and Back’) to ones shaped like a cookie and a glass of milk with smiling faces (‘We Go Together’). If they’re more of a chocolate fan then why not try their “Valentine’s Day Couple Robots” for something a little bit different and unique.

-HOPE BUTLER

HOW DO YORK STUDENTS SPEND THEIR VALENTINE’S DAY T

his may sound naïve, but before I came to York, I had never seen, nor known, so many couples. University seems to be the place where people get together, but not just for the one night stand after Kuda. They can be seen holding hands outside of Nisa, chatting in the library or sharing a quiet moment over a Courtyard burger. So in a true celebration of the dreaded, or loved occasion that is Valentine’s Day, I took to York Campus to find out what a selection of York couples are up to this Valentine’s Day (it’s not as cheesy as you think, I promise)

For Will and Louisa, who have been together for four years now, Valentine’s Day falling on a Sunday, and going to different Universities means that they will most likely celebrate it a week earlier. Traditional romantic gifts such as chocolates are what Will has in mind, and he’ll either cook or he and Louisa will go for a meal out.

Kaytlin: 3rd Year, York and Ioan: 3rd Year, York ‘Last Valentine’s day consisted of a bottle of 2014 Australian Shiraz, 100ml of baby oil, 6 scented candles, 2 Coldplay albums, 2 blue WKDs and a partridge in a pear tree. This Valentine’s day?

The same but more.’

Ioan and Kaytlin have been together a year and a half now, but they’ve never taken themselves too seriously. As a third year couple they’ve got plenty of exams to prepare for and a dissertation to write, so they won’t be up to much this Valentine’s Day. Their only plans are to stay in for the night and watch a few documentaries before putting on matching pajamas, eye masks and ear plugs to get a good night’s sleep before another hard day of work in JB Morrell.

Lucy: 2nd Year, York and Lewis: 2nd Year, York ‘Personally I feel that our anniversary on the 15th is a much bigger celebration than Valentine’s Day.’ For Lucy and Lewis, who will have been going out a year on the 15th February, their one-year anniversary trumps Valentine’s Day. Never the less, the couple still plan to exchange cards, and maybe some small gifts such as chocolates. The whole affair will be decidedly more relaxed, with a lunch out together during the day.

birthday happening at the end of January she’s not expecting any gifts, just a romantic meal out somewhere.

Scott: Community and Wellbeing Officer at YUSU, York and Matt, Birmingham “We’ve been together 6 years now! To be honest we never do much for valentines because of work.”

The couple are heading back home Friday and Saturday, then coming onto campus to watch the YUSU debate on Sunday.

They have never been too fussed about valentines day, merely wanting to just make a special effort to have a meal together or something around the date when it suits them.

Sanam: 1st Year, York and Alex: 20, from Coventry

Will: 2nd Year, York and Louisa: 2nd Year, Hull ‘We probably won’t celebrate Valentine’s Day on the day as she’s in Hull, but maybe a week earlier.’

‘This is my first proper Valentine’s Day, and the realization of that has started to make me cringe a little!’

Sanam and Alex have been together for five months now, and although this is Sanam’s first proper Valentine’s Day they don’t have any elaborate plans. With Christmas and Sanam’s

-HOPE BUTLER

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Four Films to absolutely not watch with your significant other this Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day and cinema; the two have been known to go together rather well. Getting ideas for films to watch on February 14th isn’t exactly difficult: Notting Hill, The Notebook, About Time, any Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan film, even Valentine’s Day spring to mind quickly. With these heart-warming romances in mind, steer well clear of the forthcoming ‘recommendations’ if you’re planning on a bit of feature length media and chill on the day itself.

Gone Girl David Fincher’s superb adaptation of Gillian Flynn’s novel about what really goes on between a married couple (as well as a general skewering of social and mass media) is a film that I have pledged to never watch with my girlfriend, though it may not be the most viscerally shocking on this list. The way it reveals layers of depth and deceit, and gets more and more under your skin as it goes on until you’re left drained and completely unsure what to think about the two protagonists is enough to make even the most steadfast couple suspicious of one another.

Audition (Odishon) This Japanese film from the prolific Takashi Miike has been cited by such filmmakers as Eli Roth and John Landis as really rather difficult to watch, and features some wince inducing torture. A Japanese widower is encouraged to get back on the dating scene by his teenage son. His friend, a film producer, devises a mock audition process for the part of his new girlfriend. He becomes infatuated with one particular young woman, but her whereabouts after their initial meeting prove elusive. When the widower is finally able to track her down again, he discovers he gets a lot more than he bargained for. Safe to say it ain’t romance that’s in store for the two, and it won’t be for you two either if you think that popping this on amidst the mood lighting and rose petals is a good idea.

Sátántangó If you’re looking to get the romantic and/or bodily juices flowing, you could really do a lot better than this 1994 pic. It’s black and white. It’s described by Wikipedia as an ‘apocalyptic art drama.’ It’s Hungarian (nothing against foreign films, but have you ever tried to speak Hungarian? Might as well be Martian). Most anti-aphrodisiac of all its qualities is its running time, which clocks in at a cool 432 minutes. This one will most likely bore you and your partner to opposite ends of the bed/ couch.

The Birth of a Nation This is a 190 minute epic film from 1915 that is celebrated for its technical innovations such as the first film with an orchestral score and tracing shots amongst other things; the film’s entry in the 2013 edition of 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die states that ‘virtually every film is beholden to it in one way, shape, or form.’ Technical innovations aside, it is also virulently racist, framing the story of the American Civil War as one which shattered US unity, unity which could only be restored by the ‘brave’ members of the Ku Klux Klan.

~ Jasper Hart

Awkward Movie Sex Scenes Valentine’s Day’s a bit of an odd one- from smug couples plastering their ‘omg best day everrr’ and new Pandora rings on social media, to bitter Yik Yakkers recycling jokes about Ben and Jerry’s to distract from their own insecure loneliness- it’s difficult to gauge whether it’s totally or just moderately shit for the rest of us. If this wasn’t too much already, our TVs are bombarded with every romantic film ever produced in the space of 24 hours, with scripts so cringy that you question whether you want to talk to the opposite sex ever again. And of course there’s the inevitable sex scene- depressing if you’re on your own, slightly awkward if you’re with your partner, and literally hell-on-earth if you’re with your parents. From the disturbing, to the disgusting, and even slightly sad, here are four of the most awkward movie sex scenes.

Team America World Police (2004)

American Pie (1999)

We’re getting straight down to it, if you forgive the expression, with possibly the most graphic sex scene ever featured in a mainstream comedy- all involving puppets. Stupidly hardcore, it looks like the film makers learnt the kama sutra off by heart and even added banal pillow talk and a cheesy background song to round it all off. Hilarious or strangely unsettling, you decide, but perhaps stay clear of the directors’ cut which involves sex acts of the, ahem, faecal variety. Let’s just say it’s an acquired taste.

Requiem For A Dream (2000)

I’m going to assume that everybody’s at least vaguely familiar with this one (and if not, have you been living in a cave for the past decade) and describe it in very blunt terms- horny teenager Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs), having been told that sex feels like “a warm apple pie” does what every sexually frustrated adolescent male/Kuda Tuesday goer does, and begins humping his mother’s newly baked creation. Cue his dad’s return from work, whose patient understanding (“We’ll just tell your mother that we ate it all”) makes the scene all the more excruciating.

Any sex scene involving Jennifer Connelly can’t be anything but pretty, right?

Wrong. Darren Aronofsky’s harrowing psychological drama about addiction and loneliness culminates in devastating fashion. The most sickening fate, however, is reserved for Connelly’s Marion. Forced into prostitution to support her heroin habit, she performs a horribly degrading sex show in front of a cheering crowd. The whole scene is hallucinogenic and nightmarish but it’s the extreme close up of Connelly’s face, recognising the shamefulness of her predicament yet too numbed and in the power of drugs to care, that leaves a truly indelible mark.

Videodrome (1983)

David Cronenberg is the master of sex and violence and the resolutely weird Videodrome is a satirical, and almost prophetic, study of how those tropes are bottled up for public consumption. James Woods (yes, him from Family Guy) is at his scuzzy best as Max Renn, a slimy television executive who gradually loses his grip on reality after becoming addicted to a network showcasing extreme torture and perversity. Nowhere is this demonstrated more than when Max and his girlfriend make love whilst watching it, spicing things up with him piercing her ear with a needle and stubbing a cigarette out on her breast. Visually unforgettable.

~ Ed Hunter

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David Bowie and Our Obsession With the Glorious Dead On the tenth of January the world lost an icon. David Bowie’s death, resulting from his unpublicised liver cancer, robbed the world of a true musical pioneer.

Whether he was embarking on a Space Oddity in the late ‘60s, or challenging the music listening public’s perception of gender roles as Ziggy Stardust in the ‘70s, or even wearing a leopard print playsuit for Dancing in the Street with Mick Jagger, Bowie attracted attention and held a dear spot in the hearts of many. And yet, in his absence it seems as though we’re seeing more of Bowie than we have for years. At the time of writing, there are five David Bowie albums in the UK album charts top ten, and a total of twelve in the top forty – a chart record. For some reason, the death of the artist seems to have reinvigorated the success of his work on a massive scale, with people rushing to buy not only the unnerving and experimental Blackstar, his final album released two days before his demise, but albums released forty years ago.

Yet this tremendous posthumous success isn’t just a cultural oddity surrounding one talented individual. Bowie is just one in a long line of musicians whose output gains a sudden growth in recognition after their deaths. Only one artist had achieved the feat of having twelve records in the UK top forty album charts at one time before this week- Elvis Presley in 1977, following his death. Similarly, Micheal Jackson is the only other artist to have had five albums in the top ten and this came about after his death in 2009. There are a multitude of cases of this kind of interest in a musician immediately after their death with sales of music by John Lennon, Freddie Mercury, and Lemmy booming in the immediate aftermath of their deaths.

Why do we feel the need to do this? Where does the compulsive need to celebrate the dead come from? Naturally, media coverage of the death of a musician may bring their music to the minds of people who had been fans in the past and inspire them to reinvest in their interest. On the other hand, why would this lead to people buying records released in the ‘70s? If they don’t already own these albums then there’s no real clear reason as to why they would clamour for them after the artist has passed away. It’s as if people buy mementos to commemorate the life and works of musicians that they evidently didn’t care about enough to spend money on in their life time. Clearly, the mass music buying public frequently suffers from not knowing (or particularly caring) what they have ‘til it’s gone.

It’s difficult to tell just what exactly the implications of this kind of phenomenon are. Obviously good music is there to be appreciated regardless of age and as such a reoccurrence of interest in dead artists means that their music may come to be better known to a later generation and that their legacy will live on after them. If art is appreciated long after its creator’s death then this emphasises the quality of the art and the longevity of its importance. But on the other hand, where does the celebration of the dead leave the living? Have we got more time for musicians made into legends by their death than those continuing to shape and influence culture? Judging by coverage of Michael Jackson prior to his death, especially during his child abuse trials, and the coverage after, we look back at the personalities of artists with rose tinted glasses as well as their work.

In one sedative overdose, ‘Wacko Jacko’ evolved back into the King of Pop as the tabloids battled to squeeze every last drop out of his last day and sell it to the grief junkies. Similarly, people are much happier to remember John Lennon for starting a revolution from his bed than recalling his public mockery of the disabled and the fact that he used to beat his first wife. Even David Bowie was

David Bowie has broken records for album sales in the weeks following the singer’s death.

John Lennon (left) is revered as a symbol of peace and acceptance in death despite evidence to suggest otherwise in his lifetime. no stranger to criticism in his lifetime, raising a fascist salute in 1975 and being detained at border control for transporting Nazi memorabilia.

Given the success and brilliance of Bowie, his contemporaries and those that inspired him, it is little surprise that people continue to value their art and celebrate their legacies after their death. Nevertheless it seems ridiculous to spend your money and claim affection towards a musician on the back of a whirlwind of hype and media attention in the aftermath of their death. Moreover, it’s unfair and immoral to airbrush history for the sake of preserving our glorious dead. If you don’t care for, or about, a musician, don’t pretend to when they inevitably die - certainly continue to celebrate their music, but at least appreciate them whilst they’re around.

- Louis McGillick

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Nisa’s Finest Homemade Cheeseburgers Makes 6 burgers Ingredients

500g minced beef 150g breadcrumbs 70g cheddar cheese, grated small bunch of basil, chopped 1 egg, beaten 1 potato (for the wedges)

To serve

Bread rolls (I used wholemeal) Lettuce Tomato Potato wedges

Our Food Editors took to the hallowed aisles of Nisa to create the perfect Valentine’s Day recipes: one with a higher-end budget, and the other with a more typical (i.e. non-existent ) student budget. Here’s what they came up with...

This recipe was made from ingredients bought from our very own Nisa! This meal is perfect if you are willing to spend a bit of money on your loved one this Valentine’s Day! For the perfect pudding recipe to go with your burgers head to our website for Chocolate Cheesecake Brownies. Total cost (with brownies) £25

Method: Potato Wedges 1. Cut the potato into wedge-like stripes 2. Parboil for 10 minutes in boiling water with a pinch of salt.

3. Drizzle with oil, salt and pepper, and roast in the oven for 30 minutes until the wedges crisp up.

Method: Burgers 1. Crumble the mince into a large bowl, then tip in the breadcrumbs, cheese, basil, and eggs with 1 teaspoon of black pepper, and 1 teaspoon of salt.

2. Mix the ingredients with your hands to combine everything thoroughly.

Shape the mix into 6 burgers. Chill for up to 24 hours or until ready to cook.

3.To cook the burgers, heat grill to high and grill the burgers for 6-8 minutes on either side until cooked through.

4.Meanwhile warm the bread rolls (optional) in a foil-covered baking tray below the burgers.

5. Cut the bun in half and place the burger inside with whichever extras take your fancy! ~Abigail Cornthwaite

And now for the romantic meal that is just as delicious (kind of), but more for those who are on a tight budget.

Method: Before you begin, you must picture the lucky recipient of this luxurious meal being completely overcome with feelings of gratitude and unworthiness. Do not forget this image...ever.

1. If you plan to warm up your sausage, do so now according to instructions on back of tin, but personally, I

Ingredients: Warbutons Sub Rolls - 80p Heritage Ketchup - 69p Prince’s Hot Dogs - 59p Danish Salami - £1.00 2 Babybels - £1.00 Cheestring - 59p Double Dip - 25p (Echo Falls - £1.00)

prefer my sausage as it comes.

2. Whilst these are warming, or not, slice open the two rolls.

3. Next, get out your favourite serving plate/s and place the two, now open, sub roles down in a loving manner.

4. Now go to town on these rolls, smothering them in your very own ketchup.

5. When you are happy with the temperature of the sausages, slip them into the moist buns.

6. The next step is to wack out your salami and slide them onto the plate/s. With these bad boys you are going to create art – be they breasts, or simply decorated with hearts, the choice is yours. To create the magical things, however, we are going to use our trusty ketchup.

7. Finally, for the savoury side of this feast, we shall create a cheesy penis, as who in their right mind can refuse one of those? To c reate this masterpiece we will simply unwrap the two Babybels and cheestring and lay them in a penis-like fashion. If you are unsure what this is like, have a look at the photo for guidance. *WARNING* If you or your loved one is not so well-endowed, bite the end off as this gem of a specimen may make even the most cock-sure gentleman feel slightly underdressed.

8. Final touches – decorate any free plate space with ketchup designs, for example, lovehearts.

9. Now for the sweets. For this either simply take turns with you and your beau seductively licking and dipping into the bag of delights, or for a more sensory experience, pour the sherbet into your bellybutton, or any other cave like bodily structure you would like, and get said-lover to dip, or double dip, their swizzlestick in there to pick up the droplets of joy.

10. For under a fiver you have created the perfect Valentine’s meal. However, if you do have some change to spare, why not nab a tiny bottle of Echo Creek for only £1.99. Of course, if you really are strapped for cash, you can always make do with each other’s bodily fluids.

~Freya Kingsley

I hope you and your sweetheart have a wonderfully romantic Valentine’s...with these recipes I don’t see how you could go wrong. Lots of love xoxo

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Advice from the editors...

Q. How long should you wait before kicking your ex off of your Netflix account?

A. If you were close enough to share a Netflix account, clearly things were serious. But there are a number of considerations to take into account – who dumped who? Are you still friends? Do you hate each other, or is it necessary for you to get along for the sake of other friendships?

If you dumped them, maybe wait a few months to kick them off so they can cry to a bunch of soppy films to get over you. Or if you completely and utterly ruined their life, don’t ever get rid of Netflix, continue to pay for the account long after Netflix has become redundant and unused, view that monthly membership fee as a reminder to think about what you’ve done before your inevitable journey into hell.

If they dumped you, perhaps the best way would be to angrily show them that you’re kicking them off your Netflix whilst they’re in the process of dumping you. Or, even better, wait until a few weeks down the line, when you know they’re hungover and in the middle of binge watching The Good Wife, and then kick them off, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Q. I accidentally slept with a flatmate. How do I make sure it’s not awkward?

A. Honestly I’ve never understood how sleeping with a flatmate can make things awkward. “Don’t shit where you eat” yada yada yada… you’ve only seen each other naked, how is that much worse than what you’ve already seen them do? At this point in the year, you’ve almost certainly seen your flatmates in their foulest states – unable to get a taxi home because they’re covered in vomit, heading off to their lecture in last night’s makeup and clothes having only had a ‘wet-wipe shower,’ or sitting at the kitchen table the morning after looking like they need a seatbelt because they’ve gotten the alcohol shakes so bad.

There are two approaches to dealing with it – you either agree to never speak of it again, or you allow yourself to be laughed at by making it into a running joke amongst your friends. It’s a rite of passage to make mistakes at university, and it makes your life a hell of a lot easier if you just embrace it.

Q. How do I tell my partner that I hate the present they got me?

A. You don’t. Not for a long while, at least. You wait until you’re in the middle of a really heated argument (preferably years down the line – remembering it from that long ago really adds to the sting of your hatred) and throw it in their face. Or you could just accept the fact that in the grand scheme of things one bad present from a holiday that is so commercialized it lacks all meaning can’t hurt your relationship unless you read too much into it. Some people just suck at buying presents. Or they’re poor. ~Dianne Apen-Sadler

York’s most eligible bachelor?

Where were you when you first found out you’d gone viral?

Have you parents said anything about your new found fame?

Stuck up a hill in Northern Italy on holiday without any wifi so I became aware only gradually, but something seemed suspicious when the local village children started to come up for autographs and then the local count held a banquet in my honour…

They’re quietly proud I think, and happy that somebody’s finally put the Joly de Lotbinière name on the map, even if it was to the ridicule of the unwashed masses of the twittersphere.

There’s been a lot of people professing their love for you on Yik Yak. Has this translated well on nights out?

I don’t want UC to define who I am, there are so many sides to the Joly de Lotbinière mystique, but obviously there are a lot of female fans of the show out there and I can’t really leave them disappointed when they see me in the flesh.

What’s the weirdest message you’ve received since University Challenge aired?

Well, somebody messaged me on Facebook saying she wanted ‘to have my babies’, and judging by her blunt sincerity I don’t think she was joking.

What do you use in your hair?

~Dianne Apen-Sadler Any advice for any girls hoping to lock you down this Valentine’s Day? First of all that’s a fantastic idiom, I’ve just searched that on urban dictionary and it doesn’t really merit my status but anyway I would say just try to pretend to look interested when I throw in a few general knowledge facts into the conversation.

Don’t be like this lady

I’d like to categorically confirm that I rarely use product in my hair because I’m neurotic about its greasy appearance I hope that settles a lot of questions What’s your dream first date?

First dates are stress, I would keep it simple and say a suitably trendy bar somewhere.

If you had to sum up your love life through the medium of film, what film would it be?

Somewhere in between There’s Something About Mary and Forrest Gump.

Full name: Bartolomeo Cuthbert Joly de Lotbinière Age: 20 Star Sign: Aries Favourite Colour: Blue Takeaway of Choice After a Night Out: Big Mac Meal College: Derwent Favourite Emoji: I don’t believe in emojis Proudest Achievements: This, and being Editor-in-Chief of York Vision last year

Got a question? Need some advice? Email us at scene@yorkvision.co.uk!

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BLIND DATE

In this edition of Blind Date, second year Economics student Henry went for a romantic lunch date to Courtyard with second year Psychology student Izzi. Would either take the other’s breath away like the asbestos in Derwent? Or would they end up asking for extra sachets of ketchup and mayo as the conversation, like the food, ran dry?

Izzi on Henry Hopes and fears before the date?

I was hoping for Tom Hardy but feared my standards wouldn’t be met and that I’d end up going out with this date for two years.

First impressions?

Slight confusion as he brought three friends (maybe he was nervous) but I quickly determined my date was the shortest of the bunch.

What did you talk about?

A lot of football as the Leicester game was conveniently on.

Best and worst things about the date?

Although I found myself in quite a lugubrious situation, I managed to get a Snapchat add out of it (ryanconner10).

What did you have to eat?

The chicken fajita kit, which somehow brought about a spicy debate.

Good table manners?

My date and his 3 friends had what can only be described as average manners; the tall one ate all my chips while another left early.

How did it end?

His parting words were ‘you owe me £6’. (EDITOR: We pay for blind dates thank you very much!)

...and did you kiss?

Henry on Izzi Hopes and fears before the date?

I was hoping for a stunning 5’10” Serbian girl, but I was very anxious to meet the kind of person who agrees to go on a York Vision blind date, to be honest.

First impressions?

She was a stunning 5’9” Serbian girl which was slightly disappointing, but when she glided elegantly into the room I just hoped she would be comfortable with one inch.

What did you talk about?

I was lost for words the moment she sat down, and I made sure the football was on so we would have something to talk about, but in a strange turn of fortune every time I was quiet one of my three friends would pitch in and save me.

Best and worst things about the date?

Izzi was both beautiful and interesting, and I couldn’t have hoped for a more ideal girl.

However, when Ryan gave her his snapchat I felt a little uncomfortable.

What did you have to eat?

I was going to order the vegan bean burger on recommendation from Max who has an appreciation for subtle flavours, but Ryan assured me it would be unfortunate if I ordered such a thing, so I went down the middle with a chicken burger and chips.

Good table manners?

She had excellent manners and somehow managed to maintain her composure with the football on and four of us sat around her.

How did it end?

I had hurt my ankle earlier in the day playing football and the pain was unbearable so I had to leave earlier than I would have liked to.

...and did you kiss?

He tried but couldn’t reach.

She was giving me what I thought all the right signals and so I moved in for a tender kiss.

If you could change one thing about the evening what would it be?

If you could change one thing about the evening what would it be?

I wouldn’t have gone.

Marks out of 10?

A solid 4 (one for each boy attending).

I would never have let her go, or let Ryan attend, in hindsight.

Marks out of 10?

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