Issue 193

TUESDAY November 11, 2008

ISSUE 192

Vision@yusu.org

GUARDIAN STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR YORK GRIPPED

BY ELECTION FEVER

P 14

HOT CHIP - SCENE

PHIL BROWN: EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

P 23

EXCLUSIVE: LEAKED DOCUMENTS DAMN BAR CLOSURE

ARE THEY EVEN

LISTENING?

> ANOTHER BAR BITES THE DUST

> B. HENRY'S LOSSES EXAGGERATED > UNI TOLD TO "PUT UP OR SHUT UP"

BY MARTIN WILLIAMS ANGRY ALCUIN PROVOST Tony Ward has hit back at the university following the announcement that the college bar will be shut down at Christmas.

Leaked documents obtained by Vision suggest that exaggerations and possible inaccuracies plague the decision for imminent closure of B. Henry’s Cocktail Bar. A determined campaign has been triggered by fears

that Alcuin could lose its focal point for socialising and cause welfare troubles for students.

The college’s Vice Chair, Tom Langrish, attacked the university’s lack of commitment in supporting colleges, telling them to “put up or shut up.”

“The university can’t claim to be a collegiate system if it’s not supporting its colleges,” he argues.

FULL STORY 3 FULL PAGE STORY ON PAGE 4

EXPOSED: BARMY BASIS FOR COLLEGE BAR CLOSURE

2NEWS

YORK VISION

Tuesday December 9th 2008

your week

GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO THWAITE

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

3

"I hope that all the bars that are open at the moment will remain open" Pro-Vice Chancellor for students Jane Grenville.

GOOD WEEK bad week GOOD WEEK

Jamie tyler

Securing Phil Collins as patron of RAG was a major coup.

BAD WEEK

Alex lacy

The under fire sports suprmeo can't seem to do anyhting right at the moment.

the number cruncher 50% 15 8

Percentage of Halifax college committee positions without candidates.

Number of stretches on campus deemed to be inadequately lit by Vision.

Number of countries where the death penalty can be used as a punishment for homosexuality.

BY TOM MCDERMOTT YUSU ENVIRONMENT & Ethics Officer Joe Thwaites has been doing his bit for the future of the planet over the past week whilst attending a United Nations Climate Change Conference in Poznan, Poland.

Thwaites, a politics student, is one of only 50 young people from around Europe who have been invited to join the group Countdown to Poz’n’Hagen: The Young Friends of the Earth Climate Tour. The conference is being held to allow politicians from across the globe to meet and discuss how best to synchronise their efforts over the ever pressing issue of climate change, with the intention of agreeing a firm commitment at another conference in Copenhagen next year.

Part of Joe’s role in Poznan is to campaign for an international agreement to be

signed, which will make world governments commit to tackling climate change and lowering European greenhouse gas emissions.

Joe revealed his wish to take an active role in the future of the environment: "I am part of this group because unless we tackle greenhouse gas emissions urgently we might lose the chance to halt the effects of climate change." He added, "It’s crucial we act immediately as the consequences of inaction aren’t worth thinking about."

During his two weeks at the conference Joe will use his time lobbying countries' delegates and debating various environmental issues with other young people. He believes that the UN conference is "a great opportunity to have young peoples' voices heard," as "it’s going to be us who have to live with the consequences."

Thwaites’ fellow YUSU Environment

A VISION OF AWARDS

BY MARTIN WILLIAMS

York picked up a string of awards in this Year’s Guardian Student Media Awards.

York Vision recieved four nominations and won runner-up with Best Sports Writer (ex-editor Alex Richman) and Reporter of the Year (Adam Thorn).

Although Vision

is the only newspaper to ever win Student Newspaper of the Year four times, it was beaten on this occasion by Imperial College’s Felix.

But new Vision Editors Mike Regan and Joe Burnham have warned “you always take a step back before a run and jump."

Nouse also picked up three awards including Nicky Woolf who won Best Features Writer.

The Yorker were nominated for Best Website but did not pick up an award.

JOIN YORK VISION US! Tuesday November 11, 2008

Fancy joining the most decorated paper in the country? Email us at vision@yusu.org.

Corrections for issue 192: The front page photograph was taken by Chris White. The photograph at the top of page three was taken by Georgi Mabee.

Our apologies.

& Ethics Officer John Nicholls has also been busy this week proposing a new ethical investment policy for the university to follow at the Union General Meeting (UGM). Nicholls recently spoke out against the university’s current policy after Nouse criticised York University's investments in armsproducing companies.

At the UGM Nicholls said: “We have a responsibility not to have a negative impact on the world around us, investment policy at the moment does not live up to this responsibility.”

He hopes to get the UGM motion passed with a good turnout, so that YUSU has a clear mandate to press the university for the adoption of an ethical investment policy.

Editors: Joe Burnham Mike Regan

News Editors: Emily Fairbairn Martin Williams

Deputy Features: Kelly Holt Alice Ankary

Deputy Editors: Emily Hodges Andy McGrath

Deputy News: Nicola Chapman Ruth Gallie

Lifestyle Editors: Joanne Rea Rachel Knox

Scene Editor: Andy Nichols

Comment Editor: Harry Pearse Daniel Hewitt

Deputy Lifestyle: Gemma Williams Mark Jaques

Managing Editors: Sean Hodgkinson Ben Rayner

Deputy Comment: Sammy Cowley

Style Editors: Helen Nianias Immy Willets

Deputy Management: Patrick Harte

Features Editors: Josie Whittle Jake Soule

Deputy Style: Jude Hull

Guardian Student Newspaper of the Year 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2007 Food & Drink Editor: Sally Daniels Deputy F&D: Anna Kotenko Travel Editor: Alex Dale Deputy Travel: Zoya Pasha Andy Henrick Sports Editor: Jim Norton Michael Sneddon

Deputy Sports: Becky Lord Photo Editors: Juliet Burns Annie Law Terry Li Sub Editors: Martin Williams Ash March Scene Section Editors listed in pullout Call us: 01904 433720 vision@yusu.org

Opinions expressed in Vision are not necessarily those of the Editors, Senior Editorial Team, membership or advertisers. Every effort is made to ensure all articles are as factually correct as possible at the time of going to press, given the information available.

Copyright Vision Newspapers, 2008.

Printed by Yorkshire Web

YORK VISION

NEWS

Tuesday December 9, 2008

RAG-GLE Photo by Jess McGowan

HAUNTED HORROR AT HALIFAX HOUSE

3

DAZZLE

BY EMILY FAIRBAIRN

SPOOK ME! SUPERNATURAL EVENTS at a house in Halifax have caused terrified students to come to the conclusion that their house must be haunted.

The Halifax house, described as “infamous,” has suffered many mysterious occurrences, some which have proven to be quite alarming.

One resident revealed that once, when walking on the staircase, she felt as if there was a force behind her, pushing her down the stairs. “It’s just so strange,” she says, “it’s getting a little worrying.”

Housemates have also said that the key-cards needed to get into the houses in Halifax are constantly going missing.

The ghost is believed to

be that of a builder who died when the college was being built and has reportedly haunted the house ever since. “We have had no sightings of this supposed ghost, but things that we have experienced here are just too strange not to be taken seriously,” says one resident.

One event in particular stands out for the occupants of HAUN the house as proof T u nder si ED: A Halifa of a unexplained ege fro x presence.

One m spoo house is male student has ks had his room left literally upside down.

A female housemate told Vision, “It was absolutely ran-

sacked. It wasn’t as if someone had just moved posters off his wall or moved some things. His room was a complete mess – it was not a joke.”

Although most students may have assumed they were simply good at losing things and that their friend was 'room-raped', the residents at the house in Halifax are adament that there is a more sinister force at work. They are even considering undertaking a séance to see if their ghostly theory is correct, or whether they can finally put the stories of being the Haunted Halifax House to bed.

York is believed to be the most haunted city in the world, with over 504 recorded hauntings, ac-

MODEL OF SUCCESS

BY NICOLA CHAPMAN

MODEL STUDENT Helen Lawal, a fourth-year at the Hull York Medical School, has scooped the coveted Miss Black Britain title.

The York Student, 23, won the competition, held at Leicester Square Theatre in London, against fierce rivalry from 29 other budding models. Included in the prize is a modelling contract with

Chokolate, a London-based talent agency, and photo shoots with Black Hair magazine.

Helen insists that “becoming a doctor is my priority,” and that balancing her crucial medical exams with modelling will be “a challenge to demonstrate that it is possible to do something like this, and still continue with an academic career.”

“Everyone has been really

supportive, though I know a few people were a bit sceptical that I could combine the two,” she says. “There have been rumours that I was going to give up medicine, but nothing could be further from the truth.”

Helen hopes that modelling will support her financially whilst she studies, and hopefully raise some money for charity too.

CAMPUS CELEBRITIES are to get their dancing shoes on for a special Strictly Come Dancing Competition to raise money for RAG. Run in association with Dancesport, the event will see YUSU Sabb.s, college chairs and other high-profile students learn to ballroom dance with a ‘professional’ from the dancing society.

Their twinkle-toes will then be put to the test at an event held in RAG week, where footage from training, which is to be shot by YSTV, will also be broadcast. It is undecided as yet how York’s own version of Strictly is to raise money for RAG, but one idea is to have the audience pay to vote for their favourite.

President Tom Scott is already confirmed to dance the paso doble with Dancesport President Claire Cornock. ExURY and Woodstock ’07 presenters Joey Ellis and Matt Cornock will be taking on the roles of Tess Daly and Bruce Forsyth.

YUSU’s Student Development and Charities Officer, Jamie Tyler, who plans to take part himself, told Vision that he is “dead excited” about the show. “This is a really cool way to raise money and a nice alternative to normal, disco type RAG events,” he says. “It is also a good profile raiser for RAG and Dancesport too.”

Tyler was also celebrating this week after securing Phil Collins as a patron of RAG. After finding a scrapbook, tucked away in his filing cabinet, filled with signed letters from former patrons that included Bruce Forsyth, Chesney Hawkes and Anthea Turner amongst others, Tyler decided to write to the celebrities and see if any of them would become a patron. Eighties singer Phil was the only one to reply with a “yes”.

Although Phil Collins is based in America, so will not be making appearances at RAG week any time soon, he will be donating signed merchandise to be auctioned off at

4NEWS

YORK VISION

Tuesday December 9th, 2008

YORK STUDENT FEARS FOR LIFE ABROAD

student press STUDENT: MY DANGER OF DEATH We read them... ...so you don't have to COCK-TALE

After a long night of perhaps too many cocktails, two sports captains at the University of Cambridge decided that they both had a longing for the joy of closing a sweaty scrum. The merry pair returned to the pitch and finding the centre circle, formed a tightknit ruck, reports Varsity.

The activities then became a little too rambunctious and a penalty was called for inappropriate grabbing. However, the referee, not being present, was unable to assert his authority.

The sport descended into chaos with shirts being ripped and the illegal pulling of certain parts.

The situation got so bad that it had to be physically broken up by the groundsman.

BNP-D OFF! The discovery of the names of three Oxford University members on a BNP membership list posted on the internet has provoked controversy, reports Cherwell.

The scandalous trio is made up of a member of the Uni Maths Faculty, a member of the Environmental Change Institute and a St John’s College student. One of the named has denied ever having membership and another has condemned the BNP as "a lot of damned fools." However, this has not prevented students voicing concern. One worried second-year said "the idea that I might be coming into contact with members of the BNP, particularly as I'm not from an English background is really upsetting.” She continued: “I wonder whether it is appropriate for those who have been revealed as BNP supporters to remain as faculty members.”

FISH FINGER FIRE An Exeter University student’s craving for the nationally-cherished snack of a fish-finger sandwich ended very badly, reports Expose. The hungry first year made the careless mistake of forgetting to the turn the hob off, resulting in a nearby plastic chopping board catching fire.

The entire building then had to be evacuated, and the fish-finger fan’s embarrassment was worsened by the arrival of Estate Patrol, three fire engines and the Ariel Platform from Exeter.

NAKED AMBITION

At Royal Holloway, students participated in a naked photo shoot with nothing but a cap protecting their modesty, reports The Founder.

The nude display was the launch to the SURHUL campaign, You Can Keep Your Cap On (part of the NUS battle to prevent top-up fees reaching the sky-high figure of £10,000 each year.) Students felt so strongly about Parliament’s review of the current cap on top-up fees at around £3,000 next year, that they were willing to abandon their clothes in protest.

Ruth Gallie

BY MARTIN WILLIAMS AND EMILY FAIRBAIRN

A YORK STUDENT who returned to his home country earlier this year is at risk of a jail term and possible death penalty if the authorities find out that he is gay.

In Luke’s* home country, homosexuality is illegal under federal law and the practice of sodomy potentially punishable by death by stoning or a severe 14 year jail sentence. Furthermore, there is no legal protection for homosexuals meaning that he is vulnerable to persecution and attack from others.

Speaking exclusively to Vision, Luke said: “One cannot help but worry… it’s still hard to comprehend the fact that I’m at a standstill and waking up everyday not been able to look forward to anything is a very depressing thought.”

Luke’s parents only recently discovered that he is gay, when his father read his emails and found evidence of his homosexuality. Although the family were reportedly angry and upset at first, Luke says “my parents are pretty silent when it comes to anything that regards me - scary thought!”

He is also newly wary of the dangers of publicising too much of his personal life on Facebook: “I made a big naive mistake of actually putting so much of myself on there that I didn’t realize how much my parents had seen right in the comfort of their living room.”

Despite his extremely vulnerable position, Luke’s family unexpectedly took him back home soon after finding out the truth about his sexuality.

A close friend of the student told Vision that “not returning would have put Luke in a position at odds with his family.” The insider confesses that his friend was so scared about his return that he almost refused to get on the plane back to the African country, but knew he had no choice given family pressures and the requirements of his student visa.

Luke admits that he had considered applying for asylum here because of the dangers he faced at home, but decided in the end that because of the “uncertainty and unrealistic thought of getting asylum,” he could not risk it.

“I found out they only handled high profile cases,” he says. “It wasn’t guaranteed and should I fail in getting asylum, I would still have to return

which wouldn’t be pretty.”

Ben Humphrys, YUSU LGBT representative, has also criticised the asylum system as being “particularly opaque” and risky for LGBT people to undergo. Claiming asylum on the grounds of being gay alerts family, friends and the authorities back home of your sexuality, meaning that if you are unsuccessful in seeking asylum you are at even more risk.

Humphrys told Vision: “we are worried for Luke’s welfare and hope that he may come back to the country soon to ensure his rights and freedoms.”

Humphrys admits that there may be many other students in Luke’s situation who have “fallen below the radar.”

This has prompted LGBT to run a Love Without Borders campaign, in conjunction

Y XUALIT H IN: E S O M T HO

BY DEA E L B A PUNISH h,

des Banglaitania, Maur eria, Nig abia, r Saudi Adan, Su a, SomaliEmirates, Arab United Yemen

with the NUS, next term. This aims to identify LGBT students who are at risk in their home countries because of the sexuality and keep them in Britain through the asylum process.

Luke says that he defiantly intends to return to the UK when he can. He describes his experience here as an “eye-opener.”

“It has taught me to appreciate many things, what I am and what I am not. No one can take that away from me.”

With his future uncertain, Luke says he is using the opportunity to reflect on his experiences. “I am in a process of re-evaluating choices I have made in the past some of which were good and some bad… [I am trying to] find out what my purpose is and the things I want from life.”

Talking of his friends back

HOMOSEX UA PUNISHAB LITY LE 10 YEARS+ BY IN:

33 Countries

in the UK, Luke says: “[They] really came through for me in my most vulnerable state and they really stood strong for me.” Whilst there is hope in the fact that nothing has happened to Luke so far, no doubt these friends will remain concerned until Luke is safely back in Britain.

If any of the issues discussed affect you, please don’t hesitate to contact the YUSU LGBT Officers (lgbt@yusu.org) or the Academic & Welfare Officer (acwelf@yusu.ac.uk). *Luke’s name has been changed to protect his identity. We cannot name his country in case it identifies him.

"If I'm killed, let that bullet destroy every closet door."

(Harvey Milk, the first openly homosexual man elected to US public office)

YORK VISION

NEWS

Tuesday December 9th 2008

BY RUTH GALLIE

A THIEF ATEMPTING to break into an occupied James College room has terrified first-years, and made off with a laptop worth over £500.

One first-year student was awoken in the middle of the night by the noise of a stick being poked through his pried open window. He was startled to see a male teenager attempting to break into his room.

In his semi-conscious state, the James first-year didn’t know how to react: "I just said to him, 'Go away'. I was half asleep so I didn’t really think about it.

If I was more awake then I probably would have been more freaked out."

The thief simply replied ‘alright mate?’ and promptly vacated from the student’s window.

However, he was clearly not phased by being

caught in the act by one of his targets. First-year English student, Robert Hughes returned from a night out celebrating a friend’s birthday to find security gathered around his window which had been prised open from the bottom.

Robert said "when I went into my bedroom I looked over in the corner and there was just a blank space where my laptop normally is."

Because he is uninsured, the burglary has obviously left Robert with problems: "I guess I’m just going to have to look out for a cheap laptop to buy when my loan comes through."

However, this will leave him without a computer until mid-January.

The incident had also left him feeling concerned about living in ground floor accommodation particularly as he has been told that burglary in James is not an

uncommon problem. Robert added, "according to my mum and dad [James College STYC equivalent] it happened to the person who lived in my room last year and I think maybe the year before."

Both occupants insist that they did not leave their windows open. The thief had clearly managed to open the window from the outside just enough to pry away valuables from the student’s desk.

The police arrived to investigate the robbery and the victims were given rooms for the night in Wentworth College. Both students were happy with the way security dealt with the incident.

However, it illustrates the risks of ground floor occupation and also suggests that the much revered accommodation in James College isn’t quite as secure as it should be.

BY BECKY RIFFEL AND JESS SWEENEY ELSEWHERE ON campus, theft has also been rife in Eden’s Court over the last few weeks.

One fresher had their phone, camera and laptop stolen from their room, despite the doors and windows being locked and the curtains being drawn. The sneaky thief had gained entry by cutting away the glass on the window around the lock so that it could be opened without force.

Another student in a neighbouring house came home from a seminar to find their door locked from the inside and the window open – however fortunately this time nothing in the room was stolen. The student believed that the burglar was scared off before he was able to take anything as his musical instrument had been moved onto the bed but not taken.

Police and security have been investigating the thefts, but there is little they can do.

Last year’s Eden’s Court JCRC Rep.s suggested an improvement in security, including CCTV, as last year there were also spates of burglaries.

However, little progress seems to have been made with this year’s freshers advised by second-years that the only thing they could do to guarntee their security was to arm themselves with a ‘large stick,’ which could be placed across the window to prevent entry by thieves.

ANOTHER BAD GRAD ELECTION

BY EMILY FAIRBAIRN

FURTHER SCANDAL at the GSA has emerged, after one of the presidential candidates was disqualified from the rerun of this term’s illegitimate elections.

As reported by Vision in Week 5, the GSA faced accusations of misconduct when some voters were unable to access the ballot box during the initial elections, held on October 31st. The GSA Executive later decided that this meant that Rui Huang had been elected president illegally and they had no choice but to rerun the elections.

In the re-run, Huang beat his rival Luke Martin again by 60 votes, but was disqualified on the grounds that he had sent out a mass email to potential voters, which is against GSA electoral rules.

The decision to disquali-

fy Huang was taken by Matt Beachem, a returning officer chosen by the GSA executive committee to ensure the legitimacy of the rerun elections.

Huang allegedly broke Rule 10 of the Rules and Regulations of Campaigning, which states: “You can use any form of electronic media to promote your campaign.

However you may not send out mass emails for campaign purposes. Any candidate who sends out emails of this nature will be disqualified.”

“Rui did contravene this rule (and accepts this fact), though he suggests that this rule was never brought to his attention,”

says Beachem. “The ‘facts’ that were presented to me left me with no choice but to

d i s qualify Rui - a decision that is accepted by the current executive committee of the GSA.” Huang is dismayed by his qualification and is keen to

clear his name. “It is not only about the election, but about my reputation in whole life,” he says. “I do not want be considered cheating or lying when someone googles my name. I will take it seriously.”

The GSA had hoped that the electoral re-runs would finally give the new committee full legitimacy, but given the circumstances in which Martin has been elected this is still open to question.

“I believe that the GSA election procedures leave a lot to be desired,” says Beachem. “I would suggest that the GSA make addressing this issue their number one priority.”

(DON'T) CALL ON ME

BY EMILY HODGES

THE FAILURE of YUSU officers and committee members to turn up to fundraising sessions for the new Langwith bar has been called a lack of commitment to the bar project.

Matt Burton, YUSU Services and Finance Officer, had organised for volunteers to be involved in calling alumni to raise extra funds for the development of the YUSU student venue, alongside the usual student calling team for the alumni department.

But despite booking themselves in for sessions to volunteer, many members did not arrive to take up their places.

One of the paid student callers told Vision, “the union made a big push for people to volunteer their time to raise funds over the phone for Langwith bar, by calling old students. Members of the union were booked in for various nights over the campaign and whilst some nights saw seven or eight volunteers, a couple of nights nobody turned up at all from the Union. Other nights one out of five or six turned up.”

The anonymous student caller went on to say, “There was also the element that they were using up facilities and time that could have been used for annual fund callers who were far far more useful.”

Matt Burton hit back at these suggestions, claiming, “we always knew that we couldn’t fill every seat we could potentially use, every night, but we made an absolutely brilliant attempt and we have raised a substantial amount of money to support making the venue really great. Some people have commitments, as you’d expect, including myself, and degrees to attend to.”

Paid student callers have over the last few weeks been phoning up York alumni to ask if they would be interested in donating money to the University, and this term have raised £69,000 which when government matched brings the total into the region of £90,000, making it their most successful campaign ever.

DODGY SIGNALS FOR URY

BY NICOLA CHAPMAN URY AND YOUR:SHOP have come to blows this week as it has emerged the student-led retailer has stopped playing the student radio station in store.

Reports that Your:Shop are choosing to play a generic music range has left Scott Bryan, Programme Manager for URY, confused and irritated about the mixed messages that Your:Shop are sending out.

Speaking to Vision, Bryan commentated: “Your:Shop and URY are both representatives of students, yet Your:Shop does not even support us, the university radio station. We could have such a big impact because a lot of York students don’t actively listen to the radio station… it feels like a waste.”

However senior YUSU figures insist that the absence of URY from Your: Shop’s speakers is purely down to a technical fault between the studio and the shop. YUSU are keen to dispel rumours of a URY boycott and insist that any conflict is a complete misunderstanding. Societies and Communication sofficer Rory Shanks remarks ‘ If Mr Bryan had bothered to contact us then he would have realized that the problem was a technical fault.

Photo by Jess McGowan

THIEF IN THE NIGHT

Photo by Annie Lao

BREAK-IN EPIDEMIC: JAMES AND EDEN'S TARGETED

5

YORK VISION 6 NEWS ENDURE OR LOSE YOUR "GRUBBY" BARS, WARNS GRENVILLE Tuesday December 11, 2008

Pro-Vice Chancellor for Students, Jane Grenville, tries to be taken seriously!

YOUR BARS: YOUR FAULT

BY MARTIN WILLIAMS

DENYING RESPONSIBILITY for failing campus bars, Pro-Vice Chancellor for Students, Jane Grenville has insisted that the future of uni drinking holes is down to the students.

“I wouldn’t drink in a campus bar unless I really had to,” says Grenville.

Following a debate on the collegiate system last week, she told Vision she believes “the bar system actually belongs to the students,” and that “students can make a difference.”

The bars, that Grenville describes as “grubby,” have faced the threat of be-

ing shut down beacuse of a lack of custom. However, she has explained that “there is no money to invest in them until people start drinking in them.”

But out-going Alcuin Chair Erik O’Connor blamed bar failure, inpart, on under-funding.

He, along with certain YUSU Officers, suggest that the bars need more cash before they can attract more customers.

Yet Grenville has done little to reassure these critics. At last week’s debate, YUSU’s Societies and Communications Officer Rory Shanks asked her whether, if students didn't use the bars more, "we're just going to let them shut down,” to which the answer was “pretty much.”

However, Grenville remains optimistic, saying: “I hope that all the bars that are open at the moment will remain open.” She added, “Commercial Services will happily run any service that makes a profit,” and what they “like best, is making lots of money.”

Out-going Derwent Chair Oliver Lester agrees with Grenville's opinion that the bar's future is down to the students.

"The solution isn’t just a bar refurbishment," he told Vision, "as a JCRC we need to work hard to get people into our bars."

But for JCRCs that fail to do this, losing college bars causes numerous welfare and social issues, especially for freshers in Autumn terms.

THE DARK MATTERS

Grenville has also noted that “I would rather that people are drinking on campus [than in town], because I think it’s safer.”

Despite this optimism, Phil Kember, the uni’s Bars and Licensing Manager, has criticised the current way the bars are run, arguing for “less politics and more focus about what we can do about it in a positive way.”

The college debate was hosted by the Pro-Vice-Chancellor for Students, the Club of PEP and The Yorker and examined the future of all aspects of York’s colleges.

VISION'S REVIEW OF CAMPUS' SUPER-SCARY SPOTS

BY EMILY FAIRBAIRN AND MARTIN WILLIAMS

THE SPATE OF ATTACKS the university has suffered this term has led to serious questions being raised about how safe campus really is.

One of the main issues that has concerned YUSU is how poorly lit some areas on and around campus are, especially routes between the campus, town and popular student residential areas. A review of street lighting by Vision highlights the difficulty of walking to and from campus without going through dimly lit or completely dark areas.

Particularly dangerous around campus include Windmill Lane, leading to Tang Hall and Twenty Four Acres, leading to Halifax College. Walmgate Stray and areas near Derwent College are also places not to be after dark..

Most of this land is not University property and is therefore the responsibility of York City Council. However, despite these routes being heavily used by students, the Council told Vision that there “aren’t any plans” to change the lighting.

YUSU’s Academic and Welfare Officer Charlie Leyland told Vision that, following a number of complaints at Halifax College she is working to address poor lighting there.

“We are working with Security, the police and members of Halifax JCRC to identify the areas that need addressing,” says Ley-

land. “Now that JJs has closed and Halifax is quieter it is more of a target, so we really need to tackle security issues there.”

“This is something the Students’ Union has been campaigning about for years,” said Leyland.

She also revealed that there are plans for a police station on campus, following an unusually high police presence on campus this term. “Hopefully this will be reassuring in the light of the recent attacks,” she says.

This term there have been three reported attacks on freshers crossing 22 Acres, a claim of rape on Heslington Lane that was later withdrawn for unclear reasons and several reports from second and third years of being approached whilst travelling alone to and from campus.

“I find walking by myself back from campus in the evening pretty scary,” says third year Eleanor Webster. “It’s just ridiculously dark, it wouldn’t be so bad if I could at least see where I was going! They need to do something about it” YUSU hope that they will be able to improve student safety with compulsory security talks and plans to issue personal safety alarms to all students in Welcome Week, rather than have them come and pick them up from the YUSU office as is currently the case.

= dangerously dark areas

NEWS

YORK VISION

Tuesday December 9th, 2008

7

VISION BRINGS YOU ALL THE GOSSIP FROM THE JCRC ELECTIONS

ELECTION FEVER GRIPS CAMPUS

GOODRACK COLLEGE

Vanbrugh

YORK'S VERY OWN OBAMA AND MCCAIN...

FILL VS SCOBIE:

CUNNING STUNTS SHOCK VOTERS

THE VANBRUGH SHOWDOWN

BY RUTH GALLIE An elaborate strip routine complete with pelvic thrusts to Jump On It, will be the most memorable part of the Goodricke JCRC elections for many students.

At the college's hustings, a foursome stripped down to their underwear (some simply novelty crocodile g-strings) to reveal the letters G-O-O-D-R-I-C-K-E inscribed in permanent marker on their buttocks.

Rob Huntington, Oli Moran, Laura Horton and Tom Meares of A block performed the dance as part of their campaign to be elected as

the Goodricke JCRC’s ent.s reps.

Rob said: “It was undoubtedly the most hilarious thing I’ve ever done and it was great to do it with such enthusiastic friends.” He added, “I’d like to say 'thanks' for all the support the crowd gave everyone that night, it was a really great atmosphere."

When asked if the performance

Derwent

NOT LOVIN' MCLOVIN

COLLEGE DECIDES JOKE CANDIDATE IS SUPERBAD

BY MIKE REGAN A BRAVE FRESHER calling himself ‘McLovin’ in homage to the character in cult film Superbad, stood for JCRC chair to the amusement of Derwent students.

The chemistry student, actual name David Perry, was allowed to stand, despite having handed his nomination form in six hours after the deadline.

Rumours continue to be rife as to the motivations for his candidature and whether he was a genuinely ‘ serious’ candidate.

Furthermore, it is alleged that he didn't even know what the position entailed, and had to ask second and third-years what the chair of the college actually was.

McLovin’ was eventually defeated comfortably by Joe Rankin, who polled nearly double the amount of votes won by his geeky rival.

Rankin remarked: ‘whether or not he was actually serious

about holding the position of chair, I couldn’t say.” He went on to add, “I think the result showed that he wasn’t experienced enough or familiar enough with the workings of college and campus politics.”

This escapade comes hot on the heels of Tom Scott’s controversial victory in the YUSU presidential election last March, after he ran under the pseudonym Mad Cap’n Scott. Yet unlike the charismatic Scott, the somewhat wooden McLovin’ failed to capture the imagination of voters and he only managed to poll 88 votes.

However, YUSU bigwigs have sprung to the defence of the young pretender, with the Pirate President commenting: “I wasn’t a conventional candidate myself,” and Societies and Communications Officer Rory Shanks warning: “Don’t underestimate the power of joke candidates!”

was aided by alcohol Rob replied “Would you have done that sober?”

The group hope their full-frontal display have enticed Goodrickers to vote for them. However, they still have more serious plans for their campaign. Rob said, “we want to go round the blocks and talk to all the freshers because that’s how we’d operate if we got the position.”

HOLD YOUR BREATH...

...COS THE REST OF THE RESULTS ARE OUT SOON

Vanbrugh: Saturday December 13th Dani Fill vs Will Scobie Alcuin: Friday December 12th Oliver Hutchings vs Sam Daniels Goodricke: Week 10 Philip Lee Wright Vs Dan Walker icot e v Halifax: h ic eg Wh s coll k a Roberto Powell riouir too o r y cha e b r a t the (unopposed) l

shh!

c e s off enpis of c top hall? tral

Derwent

JOE RANKIN RUGBY CAPTAIN and former bar rep Joe Rankin sailed to a comfortable victory in Derwent's elections.

Focused on preserving the college system, he promises to secure investment in college bars and work with other Chairs to keep colleges strong.

"I’m really honoured to have received such strong support from the students in an election where people could have easily voted for the ‘funny’ candidate," he says.

BY EMILY FAIRBAIRN free college sport for A BITTER RIVALRY Vanbrugh and probetween the support- vide the teams with ers of the two Van- better facilities and brugh Chair candi- equippment, make dates has broken out, Vanbrugh events better with the election set with the possibility of to be a closely fought a trip abroad and focus contest. on building up support Although candi- for RAG and Student dates Dani Fill and Action.

Will Scobie insist that Her rival, Will Scothey get on really well, bie, has made securing their supporters are Sky TV for Vanbrugh not quite as keen to bar his central policy, be friends. Fill is ada- arguing, “to compete ment, however, that with the looming threat this is “just people stir- of the new Langwith ring stuff up.”

SU bar we need the abDespite rumours solute best resources. that some members V bar is the heartbeat of the JCRC stepping of Vanbrugh, and so we down if Fill is not elect- must do everything we ed, she insists that this can to keep it going.” is “more of a comment On the much-hyped than an actual threat, competition between because they are my the two hopefuls, Scofriends and know I will bie says: “I am sure do a good job.” that if Dani wins she Talking to Vision will do a good job, but I Fill said: “Hopefully have my own vision for I’ll win. It’s 50-50 but Vanbrugh that I think I think I’ve got a really is the right way to take good chance... I have us forward.”

Photo by David Martin lots of previous experiThe election results ence and I hope people for Vanbrugh come out will see that.” on Saturday December If elected chair, Fill 13th. Let battle compromises to improve mence.

RESULTS ALREADY IN...

James Langwith

AMBER BRITTAIN

SAM ASFAHANI

HAVING TAKEN OVER from deposed Chair Chet Khatu, Amber Brittain based her campaign on her success as Acting Chair, promising more of the same.

However, she's faced criticism from some of Chet's supporters, who see her as part of a conspiracy that undemocratically got rid of him. A Facebook group called Vote NO AMBER BRITTAIN claims that she "does not have charisma," and "has not adequatly fulfilled her role [as acting chair]."

Despite all this, unopposed Brittain claimed an easy win.

PROMISES OF REFERENDUMS on major college decisions, helped Sam Asfahani see off challengers Phil "Devvo" Mason and Simon Wood.

Asfahani says he'll keep Langwith keep Langwith's stake in the new YUSU bar and, as American Football President, former Langwith Welfare Rep and A Block Head styc, he promises plenty of experience to help him fulfil his aims.

8 COMMENT&DEBATE

YORK VISION

Tuesday December 9 2008

COMMENT & DEBATE THE VOICE OF

He likes the jingle of your single...

JOE BURNHAM

A Stark Warning

T

he vast majority of students here at York University have the benefit of having been born into a free and liberal democracy, where our fundamental human rights are, for the most part, understood and respected.

Yet this issue of York Vision is a salient reminder that there are millions of individuals across the world and some within our community that do not enjoy these same privileges. The shocking and moving front page story told exclusively to York Vision should elicit only one response. That is one of renewed vigour in our efforts to combat oppression and suffering across the less civilised world.

York Still the Cream of the Crop

C

ongratulations must go to the University of York’s journalists, who were up for a bevy of awards at the recent Guardian Student Media Awards. Vision writers were in the running for several prizes, with the pick of the bill being runner-up positions for former editors Adam Thorn and Alex Richman, in the ‘Student reporter of the year’ and ‘Student sports writer of the year’ categories respectively. Tom Sheldrick and Anna Wormleighton were also up for nomation. With nominations for Nouse and the Yorker too, it’s safe to say that York is still the home of the best student journalism in the nation - and long may it continue.

T

here comes a time in every decent music lover’s life when they must accept the reality of world around them. This can take the form of a sudden thought (“I haven’t heard Pavement on the radio for a while...”), a simple observation (“Why does no one wear Dandy Warhols t-shirts except me?”), or worse - a rude awakening stemming from a casual jukebox selection (“Why are you groaning? Don’t you LIKE the Modern Lovers?!”).

The unfortunate truth, as I’ve discovered, is that having decent music taste is a lot like being a hospital surgeon who has gone criminally insane. Both are marked by the assumption that people around you can be ‘helped’ by your knowledge - that their lives can somehow be improved through intervention - and yet, after you make a GoodSamaritan-like effort to play them something that’d (obviously) open their eyes to the full extent of human emotion, they recoil as if you’re forcefully dissecting their stomach tissue.

The tragedy is that, even though you experience consistent disaster with your noble attempts at goodwill, you still can’t let go; it’s this

D

To me the expense seems unjustifiable and a waste of the York Callers’ honourably invested time. The money raised by the callers could be put to far better use than to fund this misguided, egotistical and disruptive project. Clearly Matt Burton’s justifications for the YUSU negligence regarding their voluntary stint with the callers simply do not wash. Yes, they may be being paid for their time, but they are doing your dirty work.

away with it, doesn’t mean it’ll work for you. Don’t get me wrong, British music wouldn’t ever be hauntingly beautiful without the occasional personal touches, but there’s a difference between subtlety and trying WAY too hard to make sure people know which side of Manchester you’re from.

1) Amy Winehouse needs to stop alluding to the various substances she’s squeezed into her body (which is probably more or less a per-

3.) Rappers need to stop selfconsciously inviting others to ‘guest’ on their records. Seriously, the last ‘Lil Wayne’ album ‘featured’ eleven (I counted) different peo" ple. Since I can’t imagine that these rappers physically mix the percussion and audio-effects themselves, what exactly are they personally contributing in the 76 minutes which bares their (fake) name? If I had my way, for a song to legally qualify as rap, the ‘artist’ would be forced to sing over a standardised 90bpm drum loop – this way, with the clinical conditions applied, individual differences between rapping ability would actually be apparent.

"Seriously, the last ‘Lil Wayne’ album ‘featured’ eleven different people. sonified pharmacy by now).

Instead, take a page out of Lou Reed’s or David Bowie’s book: if you’re going to do drugs, choose a favourite and learn the perfect dose, making sure to stay mildly propped up during shows. It’s like your mother used to say: don’t mix your drinks, just choose one you like in the first place.

2) If you’re in an indie band, we get it: you have a regional dialect. That doesn’t mean you’re edgy, it doesn’t mean you’re fresh, and it doesn’t give you any street cred’ with the kids.

Just because The Libertines and the Arctic Monkeys got

4) Bands need to occasionally explain their lyrics. I know what you’re thinking – don’t audiophiles normally take great pride in

concocting grandiose theories about whatever Bob Dylan or Don Mclean were thinking when they scribbled sweet words into their sketchpads? Why should modern bands break the fourth wall and reveal their song’s actual meanings? It’s a simple reason: the emperor wears no clothes in modern lyrics. Everyone seems to assume that Bright Eyes/ Interpol/Coldplay/The Killers secretly have reams of substance hidden beneath their vocal vibrations, but you know what – I’m calling them out on it. If bands can, at times, give detailed explanations of their lyrics, it’d show that they’re re ally more than just random in terchangeable place-savers and are, in fact, worthy of speculation by their listeners. I mean seriously, does anyone actually believe that ‘Human’ by The Killers means anything?

5) If you didn’t write the song, you shouldn’t legally be able to have your name attached to it.

Hopefully these simple suggestions will begin a vital dialogue to save our musical souls once and for all.

Crisis? What Crisis? Emily Hodges remains sceptical as the world falls apart...

EMILY HODGES

A Call to Arms o York students actually care about Langwith bar? Some are upset by the aural disturbance that its construction is causing, whilst others are happy to drink in their own college bars and couldn’t care less about Matt Burton’s brainchild.

tragic cycle that leads me to suggest a proposal to the British masses. Here’s my thinking: with some slight compromises between the warring camps, popular music can become something acceptable to both the mainstream and the tasteful minority. To get the ball rolling, I have a few suggestions.

S

ometime in the next year the whole world is going to implode. I don’t know how much attention the average York student pays to real life, but there’s a little known thing that some people might have heard about - it’s called the “credit crunch” apparently, and if you believe the news, it could spell the end of civilisation as we know it.

If I hear the words ‘credit’ and ‘crunch’ in the same sentence one more time, I think I might scream.

Apart from the minor distraction that was the US Elections last month, the media has gone economy crazy. You can’t pick up a newspaper, or watch TV without the words 'RECESSION' and 'INTEREST

RATES' blaring out at you.

The BBC website has a special section entitled “The Downturn”. News at Ten has had the economy as their big story for weeks now, complete with big plummeting red arrows everywhere, just to make it extra-clear to all the people who don’t really understand.

"It hasn't stopped me buying lattes!"

Well I’m sorry Auntie Beeb, but not even the wonderful Robert Peston and his excitement at being allowed onto TV every night is enough to keep me interested anymore. I think my problem is, considering the

apocalyptic mood in the media, I don’t think I’ve seen any York students paying any attention to the whole credit crunch situation.

I mean, have you been on a night out, only to hear your friend say, “Nah, no drinking for me tonight – credit crunch and all that?”

Or seen anyone choosing a small pizza over a large in Efes, because “we’ve all got to start tightening our belts nowadays?” Nope, me neither. The only exception I can think of is the economics students, who probably spend their whole lives waiting for a situation like this where someone outside of their department talks about their subject.

But the average York student? Probably still more interested in what the ducks are up to, I would guess.And that’s because, really, what does the credit crunch mean to those inside the York bubble anyway? Maybe to people like our parents things like interest rates going up and down by a whole quarter of a percent are worth reading about. But we don’t have mortgages, we don’t have shares, and I know I sure

as hell don’t earn billions from working in the city.

The only change I’ve noticed money-wise is the cost of coffee on campus going up this term. And while I know it doesn’t compare to a thirty-seven billion pound banking bailout, it hasn’t stopped me buying my lattes.

I’m sure at some point, if or when I ever make it into the real world, I might regret writing this. But for now? I say, keep on looking the other way – grab that remote, and watch another Friends repeat, not the news.

And here’s hoping that by the time any of this really matters to us, Robert Peston will have used his superpowers to save the world, and everything will be back to normal.

Computer says no

YORK VISION

COMMENT&DEBATE

Tuesday December 9, 2008

COMMENT & DEBATE

9

Fusion bigwig and occassional Grease Lightning Sam McCormick takes on his most demanding role yet - that of Vision's guest columnist... LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION! land manager!

H o w e v e r, whilst we crawl into our shell and hide from the masses, even the meekest and most mild females become ferocious lionesses, ready to rip the arms off that bitch in front if she takes that last pair of black leggings!

Their ability to weave their way through the masses is a sight to behold. I actually saw one elderly member of the community with what can only be described as a snow plough attached to the front of her motorised wheelchair clearing a path through the middle of Topshop (needless to say I jumped in her slip-stream,

SAM MCCORMICK

T

here is something about Christmas shopping that stirs the emotions of even the most Ebenezer Scrooge like individual.

Whether it be genuine excitement at the prospect of pissing away our students loans on something other than a treble in Nags or another Vanbrugh panini, or disdain at the knowledge that, once again, we must embark upon the annual task of fighting our way through the festive crowds in search of the illusive perfect gift.

Show me a man who enjoys Christmas shopping and I’ll show you a man who has clearly never been into York City centre on the first Saturday of the festive season. I’m not sure whether the Y chromosome has been scientifically proven to be deficient in its ability to cope with hoards of people fighting their way up Parliament Street on a foggy Saturday afternoon, but I’d hazard a guess that it has. I haven’t seen so many scared and confused men in one place since Steve McClaren was announced as Eng-

"I haven't seen so many scared and confused men in one place since Steve McClaren was announced as England manager!" no point in wasting an opportunity!).

As a man I’m supposed to know about sports, drinking and flatulence,

JEROME KIRBY

MOANING ABOUT MOANERS

T

he Aussies often refer to us Brits as winging pommies and its true that one of the great British past times is having a good old moan. York certainly adheres to this stereo type as university life can certainly be stressful and occasionally tough; justifiably therefore, we all have a moan once in a while about issues ranging from the miserable northern weather to the underfunding of York’s societies.

However, it seems that excessive whinging is all too common here at York; there is no need to whinge like a little girl as much as some people do. This clearly does not apply to the majority of York students who see the positive side of things, or to those whose gripes are understandable. I’m appealing to those who whine incessantly and nitpick, to take a step back and appreciate the privileged position the majority of us as York students find ourselves in.

Then realise how pathetic and boring it is to go on about how your feet hurt or persistently bemoan the fact that you were put into Langwith College. Deal with it and don’t inflict pointless negativity onto others; no one cares that someone stole a piece of bread from your cupboard.

This is not to say you should be grateful for not being a starving African orphan, that is a pointless comparison. Instead of complaining about anything ranging from minor everyday

issues to the state of university institutions though, why not enjoy the fact that you live a comfortable existence in what essentially is a fantastic university. Granted, many of us had to work extremely hard to earn a place here, but is having the opportunity to attain a valuable degree along with the exten-

not whether my girlfriend’s sister prefers stripes or polka-dots or whether her best friend wears 002 ‘sun-kissed’ or 003 ‘natural tan’ foundation. However as I struggled around York hoping against hope that we’d be finished in time for the start of the England match (we weren’t), it struck me that there is one group of people who’s spirits must sink faster than a Russian submarine at the mention of Christmas. The shop assistant. I must admit, I did feel some sympathy when I walked into a shop in town and saw these poor clerks wearing ridiculous bits of tinsel as necklaces.

Not to mention being forced to listen to Slade, The Pogues, and Wizard eight hours a day, six days a week, seven weeks a year. That’s 336 hours of Christmas music! There are only so many times one can listen to Wham! whining about losing their heart at Christmas before a slow and painful death would seem a relief. No wonder service with a smile is so rare.

But it’s not all doom and gloom.

Oh no. Head into York on a clear crisp Tuesday morning and your faith in the magic of Christmas will be restored. A dusting of snow under your feet helps to remind you of some Christmas card of year's gone by. While the fact that children are at school and everyone other than lazy students are at work, should leave you with a feeling of heart warming wintery goodness, allowing you to embrace the shop assistants who insist on helping pick the right col-

our of that mascara your mum wants.

So, good reader, don’t get the wrong impression of me. I’m not all Bah, Humbug! and anti-Christmas. Indeed, I'm occassionally caught wearing Santa hats or scoffing the odd mince pie. Just don’t make me go Christmas shopping on a Saturday when the Rugby’s on!

sive diversity of extra-curricular opportunities available really worth the sheer volume of resentment I hear from some ungrateful quarters? Even within this relatively affluent country we can enjoy an experience that most cannot.

Understandably many will con-

is tired and has no money, this is not exceptional so no one needs to hear it.

Everyone knows the north is shit, but we all made the decision to come here and they came up with the brilliant concept of mixing chips with gravy and the accents are awesome. Not much can

Sam enjoying a night out in Gallery

"Many students also have a warranted beef with top up fees, but ‘no one goes and burns cars in protest’." sider this to be hypocritical; having a be done about the third gripe, we can’t moan about moaning. But this is not a all be blessed. whinge, it is an appeal to a significant So come on York students, get a good minority of students here to look on the nights sleep, get a term time job and a bright side of life instead of assuming penis enlarger (If you ask Mike Regan the world is against them. Through this nicely he might let you borrow his) bemore positive outlook on university life cause life here is good. I’ve been surwill be enjoyable in my opinion and this prised at how enterprising, sociable in turn can permeate through this close and well-rounded the people here are and the facilities and staff are of a high society. The glass is half full!

Also, if you are a moaner, do you standard overall. It is great here, these address your issue or just leave it to are good days. So next time something stew? For example understandably happens you believe to be worth whinthere is a substantial amount of nega- ing about, think twice, let’s look on the tivity regarding the emergence that bright side of life.

York University holds shares in arms and weapon company BAE systems, but how many people actually act upon their grievance? Worse, many of the very people who express dissatisfaction on this subject continue to use banks who are also heavily involved.

Many students also have a warranted beef with top up fees, but as Sean Glas aptly put it; "no one goes and burns cars in protest." It is Fair to enough mention it a few times and convey resentment, just don’t persistently bang on about it withougetting off your arse.

Examples of the most popular pointless day to day complaints include:A Penis enlarger: The solution to all of your I’m tired, I have no money, it’s so cold, and my penis is too small. Everyone problems... apparently.

YORK VISION

COMMENT&DEBATE

Tuesday December 11, 2008

COMMENT & DEBATE

HARRY PEARSE

Y

ou people disgust me.

Over the last month your callousness and disregard for common decency has appalled me. Only my unassailable, (though sorely tested), faith in humanity and its capacity for self-improvement have prevented me from leaving this snowy cesspit of hatred and taking refuge in more congenial surroundings.

A short time ago a very dear friend of mine, referred to here as John, was unfortunate enough to suffer an unpleasant injury whilst engaged in an act of selfless chivalry. To be sure, his broken elbow was a negligent inconvenience when measured against the relief and happiness he and everyone else experienced following his rescue of a young child, but his subsequent travails have worried me.

The oncoming truck driver, his vision compromised by rain and fatigue, new little of the imminent danger he posed to eight year old Jessica. As she sauntered across the street to give her pocket money to the local RSPCA collector, she too was oblivious of the gauntlet she was running. Mercifully, not everyone was so fucking air headed.

John’s response was immediate. His unerring concern for the sanctity of human life compelled his body to act; with scant regard for his own safety he hurled himself in front of the approaching steel juggernaut and prised poor Jessica from the clutches of death or horrible disfigurement. On abandoning his supine position on the pavement, my friend rose, slipped on some ice and fractured his elbow. (For further anti-snow material, see Hewitt, D, 2008).

I have recounted this particular event because I believe our campus populace is lacking in appreciation and respect for such a valiant act. Following John’s release from hospital he was not awarded the laurels of a returning hero or the gratitude due a saviour. The sympathy owed on account of his injury was not forthcoming; instead he was met with the mirth and derision that normally accompany acts of unfathomable idiocy.

Granted, John is unnaturally tall and the idea of his considerable limbs flailing helplessly on his journey to the ground may justify a modicum of internalised amusement on the part of a witness. Utterly gratuitous though, are the unashamed bouts of open laughter prompted by his retelling of events.

Achilles’ heel was spared ridicule, as was Samson’s ridiculous hair. These Herculean figures, renowned for their heroic proclivities, were immortalised in literature on account of their strengths and weaknesses.

I see no reason why the demonstrable bravery but residual frailty embodied by John should not render him a similarly heroic figure of mythology.

(Legend: My Friend = Me. John = Harry.

Saving a girl from oncoming traffic = slipping drunkedley in a bar).

10

Oh the weather outside is frightful and the fire is so delightful, but the last thing Dan Hewitt wants this Christmas, or at any other time, is snow...

DAN HEWITT

W

ith the current adverse weather conditions we are experiencing I thought it was about time I came clean and reveal that I absolutely despise snow.

I have never understood people’s fascination with it, even as a child I would never gleefully don my gloves and welly’s at the sight of other children hurling ice at each other in the street.

And that’s my main problem with snow, this delusion that people have that its somehow ‘fun’ to throw balls of rock at various parts of my body in the hope I will throw one back at them.

Even snowmen are an overwhelming disappointment. You spend the entire day freezing your arse off, getting soaked through to assemble what is essentially a fat ball of solidified water with a coal embedded in its head and a carrot sticking out of its face. Within minutes

of its birth it begins a slow and painful death, with only a dried up vegetable and a poodle of black soot to show for its short time on earth. Now I am completely aware of the shock and horror this may cause.

Declaring a hatred for snow carries the same social stigma as not liking ice-cream, being a member of the BNP or declaring that, had you lived in the United States, you would have voted for John McCain. Why though, when it comes to snow, does all social etiquette no longer apply?

We don’t leave our houses,

"Declaring a hatred for snow carries the same social stigma as voting for John McCain..."

Why didn't my parents warn me of this when I was younger. I was warned about the dangers of drugs and not taking sweets from strange men, but when it comes to snow go knock yourself out, literally.

Snow hurts. Snow hurts so much. I can’t justify being caught at point blank rage with a cold ball of ice enough for me to enjoy it.

When I proposed that I do such a comment piece to some of my friends, the very few friends I have left considering my lack of social activity ever since the snow began to fall, they argued that we throw snowballs because snow is a novelty, we don’t experience it very often so when we do people like to make the most of it.

Firstly, sand is a novelty to most people when on holiday, but you don’t feel the need to scoop up a handful and throw it in your sisters eye, ‘for a

laugh’.

Secondly, for all the so called fun snow brings, people seem completely ignorant towards its disadvantges:- It stops me playing football, it forces me to drive slowly, it causes me to fall over and worst of all it means I lose all my friends for a week as they all prance around in snow-covered streets as I sit alone gazing out through my bedroom window with envy and contem So you can imagine my despair when snow began to fall in York last week, but in my attempts to mask by social stigma, I join in with the rest of society and declare my love for this ‘fun-packed’ weather experience, expressing the most authentic fake smile I can muster, all the time increasingly filling with contempt and hate for those who see snow as a hobby rather than what is actually is: shit weather.

come across a gravelled driveway and hurl stones at each other in a playful manner, in the same way we don't make ice cubes in the hope of catching a passer in the eye with one.

Hoping not to alienate any more society chairs this week Samantha Cowley considers the validity of JCRC elections...

SAMANTHA COWLEY I

have a theory, that the reason why James Chair Chet Khatu was no-confidenced last year. It’s got nothing to do with any failure to perform but simply because he was the only chair who didn’t have the coveted double name status.

"no candidate is proposing the instigation of a communist Goodricke or a fascist Halifax" Matt Oliver, Zach Pepper, Ollie Lester and Chet... So here’s hoping that none of the next round of Chairs will suffer from this single status.

As I write there are six individuals whose identities are for the most part , still unknown.

No different from any other student except for the fact that they will have had a valid reason for wearing their college

hoodie day in, day out for the last few weeks.

Next term, however, they will be campus celebrities, known to pretty much everyone, fawned over by over-excited freshers and in possession of the York holy grail; a black card.

However, will they be the right people for the job?

Current Vanbrugh JCRC Chair, Matt Oliver, admitted, off the record, that chair was a job a monkey could do, so other than an ability to balance work and addiction to student politics- Joe Clarke- there seems to be no real talent required, and here in lies the flaw.

Every year the JCRC candidates promise the same things; a trip abroad, best events on campus, Sky TV for the JCR. It’s not down to a lack of inspiration on their parts, more that there isn’t that much the JCRC can do except keep the college running. So we, the country’s future, will never vote based on policies but almost entirely on personality. If you don’t know your college’s candidates personally one of your friends almost certainly will and they will definitely feel the need to

explain to you why you should vote for person A over person B. Person B made their mate cry or he stepped on your

"they will have had a valid reason for wearing their college hoodie day in, day out" mate’s toe and failed to apologise. Or, horror of horrors, he illegally queue jumped at Gallery! Whilst I won’t condone this behaviour I’m not so sure it should immediately exclude Person B from the race, especially not if he wants to take the college to Manchester and Person A only wants to go to

Sheffield.

The JCRC elections lack any sense of ideology, no candidate is proposing the instigation of a communist Goodricke or a fascist Halifax, and so are nothing more than the ultimate popularity contest. Therefore as a result, apart from by each candidate’s cronies, they do not seem to be taken seriously. Yet again York is faced with a joke candidate, in the form of hilarious fresher, McLovin and like with the Mad Captain his election would have been treated with the students-making-acomment-on-the-YUSU/JCRCclique brush when in actual fact it’s because there’s no real distinction between not voting for someone because he’s a character from Superbad or because your housemate thinks

YORK VISION Tuesday December 11, 2008

SATIRE

THE SKETCH

MATT ALMIGHTY?

‘Because I’ve done everything else’

BY POE SHCHITE

At a hastily convened press conference yesterday, Services and Finance officer Matt Burton has announced that, after finishing his 73rd term as a YUSU Sabbatical officer, he will be standing as a candidate for the coveted position of ‘God’.

Standing on the steps of Heslington Hall, Burton exclaimed "I believe that it is the only sabbatical position left for me to stand for", he went on to add "My sparing stints as a volunteer for the York Callers should stand me in great stead for the taming of all evil".

‘God’ is not a salaried position; however there are a number of contractual perks, including an army of dedicated

followers, free entry into Gallery and a gaggle of gorgeous groupies. Should Burton be elected he will serve a four century term as master of the heaven and the earth. Previous occupants of the position include Thomas Beckett, Oliver Cromwell and Kerry Katona. The latter’s term was cut 398 years short after a vote of no confidence was tabled by the Angel Gabriel. This then kicked off the bi-election in which Burton has announced he will stand. At present Burton is uncontested, however rumours that there will be a humorous protest candidate going by the name of ‘Butch Mcghee’, continue to be rife.

A Subway sandwich shop in heaven.

A 6 million person strong Viking Raid to Venus

The launch of a ‘Divine Superbar’ catering for the whole planet’s drinking needs.

SKY TV projected onto the Pacific ocean.

MATT FOR GOD

BURTON BITES?

BY YORBERT SILLYNANNY

Students were left feeling “puzzled and slightly disturbed” after receiving a promotional ‘holiday present’ from YUSU. The advent calendar, delivered to all undergraduate students’ pigeon holes, depicts the sabbatical Union team wearing holidaythemed outfits while picturesquely building a snowman outside their office. “I mean, it’s pretty cute” remarked one Langwith student. “But then you realize that the chocolates inside are all modelled on Matt Burton doing different ‘cheeky’ poses. I just… it’s quite surreal, and it must have cost them a lot of money. I just don’t think it’s appropriate.”

The calendar portrays chocolate Burtons in a manner of sultry positions – including a particularly dramatic miniature Matt licking a lollipop.

According to sources, the Burton chocolates were the result of a tragic misunderstanding; instead, according to Union sources, the Services and Finance Officer was only meant to occupy a single box, day 19. “Apparently Matt didn’t quite understand that the calendar wasn’t meant to exclusively celebrate him,” an anonymous Union source revealed to Vision, “I mean,

11

it was quite a simple error really. Obviously he put a lot of work into rendering 3D versions of himself – he seemed pretty proud of it, before we confronted him about it, asking why he was the only one in chocolate. I felt really bad… he looked so crushed and embarrassed…” Speaking through a written statement published on YUSU’s website, Matt Burton wrote an apology: “I acknowledge that my actions in this matter were incorrect and ill-conceived. I should’ve realised that an entire advent calendar based on ‘the cheeky faces of Matt Burton’ was probably a misunderstanding. It seemed strange at the time, but I suppose I just got carried away. I’m sorry to all the students I’ve let down.”

The remaining chocolates were going to be given to charity, but all organisations have so far rejected the donation. Speaking to Vision, the Great Ormond Street Hospital bluntly said “As tempting as it was to accept the 25,000 miniature chocolates, we feel that giving them to vulnerable children would probably send an inappropriate message.”

SAVING FACE

BY SUE DENIM

Vision has sensationally discovered the single York student without their own Facebook profile. The shocking situation was discovered when the student looked blankly at a friend asking to “add” her. The student, when asked about the site, reportedly said, “Facebook? What kind of a stupid name for is that?” It is thought the student has not been seen in a social situation for some time. Furthermore, she cannot name her number of friends to the exact figure, takes at least a week to discover if any of her friends are in a relationship, and has never grown her own Lil Green Patch. The student looked disgusted when our reporter asked if she had ever been poked. One of the stunned housemates of the students told Vision, “We introduced her to Facebook on Friday night, and she hasn’t left her room since. But she has 159 friends now, and she’s been updating her status every hour, so I guess she must be ok.”

GHOST GAMES

BY H. IVY FRETT

Thoughtfully, Burton ordered a mixture of both milk and dark chocolate, "For variety".

A student of Halifax College has courted controversy by taking in a known sex offender. It is said that the anonymous female believed his presence would deter pesky poltergeists. The perverted middle aged male was approached when wandering campus in possession of a map he had obtained from a recent issue of York Vision. The map notified students of campus’ most poorly lit areas, and was intended as a helpful guide to vulnerable students. However it has ended up being used by cunning sexual predators seeking the most promising spots.

The University has warned students that regardless of spiritual disturbances, students should under no circumstances offer strange men a safe haven, Pro-Vice chancellor for Students Jane Grenville remarked, ‘ I can’t believe students are thick enough to take in these shady men.. it’s like.. oh my god’. The man has since been evicted from the haunted Halifax spot and been told to leave York students alone.

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Tuesday December 9, 2008

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Iain Lee

"I find it almost impossible to actually write jokes - which is a bit shit"

What Were We Like?

Heledd Williams takes a trip down memory lane to look at what life used to be like back in the day...

I

t is somewhat strange that the great City of York, with its ancient scholarly tradition, did not have a university until 1963.

And in a remarkably short space of time, York has made its mark on the academic scene. Over the past four decades, our university’s reputation steadily grown, and is now on a par with far more longstanding and established universitieses. The university, in this short space of time, has not only produced its fair share of scholarly excellence, but also an array of notable public figures. Im intrigued as to what the university was like at a time when musician Rollo Armstrong (Famous for his work with Faithless and being Dido's brother), Skins writer writer Brian Elsley and comedian Harry Enfield, were all knocking around campus.

To get a more vivid idea of what student life at the University of York was like, I spoke with a lady who studied English here almost twenty years ago. Ceri Black, who was in the year below Harry Enfield, studied between 1979 -82, and insists that the academic vibe was as strong then as it is now. Ceri also confirms that even back then the student body had an Oxbridge chip on its shoulder, by telling me that “there were boat races which took place between the Oxford and Cambridge rejects,” rather embarasisng really. Recollections such as this may go some way to explaining the thinking behind the mildly offenisve play on

words by which the university is sometimes known... The University of Dork.

However, it does lead me to wonder what the social dynamics were like at this university, and what it was like to be a student here, prior to the contagious outbreak of social networking, e-mailing, instant messaging and the rest of our online vices.

Ceri tells me that the students would have been informed of both academic and social events via pigeon holes, notice boards and the then Vision-less campus media. As Ceri testifies life without our advanced means of instant communication was not all that bad,“we didn’t feel hard done by, but then again we didn’t know any better”. In fact, there seems to have been perks to being a student during this time. The university was a place where, as she recalls, the students were “slightly alternative, radical even.” Ceri goes on to tell me that there used to be a “strong feminist vibe” at the University. This was apparently most palpable in the field of female fashion , which mainly comprised of “flat shoes, dungarees, with no high heels but boots instead.” However, student fashion was not all feminist this and feminist that, the ‘alternative’ nature of the student body was often reflected in their “bright coloured clothes,” “mohair jumpers,” and use of henna.

Ceri describes the students, in general, as “quite arty” and says that it “wasn’t uncommon to find them at the art gallery, or discussing literature with one another in their spare time.” Admittedly, before coming here, this is exactly what I both expected and feared that the university would be like. However, de-

There were boat races that took place between the Oxford and Cambridge rejects...

spite the lack of a club culture, I (and I suspect many other students who moved here from bigger cities) have actually become accustomed to, if not even fond of, this quaint town.

Ceri says that, back in the day, “most social events took place on campus, whereas a big night out would involve going to Leeds,” - no change there then. From all that I can gather, being a student here these days doesn’t appear to be too dissimilar to how it was almost two decades ago.

Of course, there have been certain changes; no longer can you curl up on the “big comfy sofas” that once existed in the library, nor on weekends can you visit campus’ very own vegetarian eatery, which went by the name of Gumbo . In addition, with the rapid increase in the student population, the university is considerably more socially and ethnically diverse. But what about the way the university looked? Firstly, there is the survival of the university’s aesthetic features - campus is still a concrete jungle charactersied by ducks, cyclists and a man made lake. Yet similarly despite the increase in numbers, the student body itself seems to have retained its original character. Ceri describes the students of her day as friendly, intelligent people with a work-hard, play-hard ethos: “We worked at our degrees, but we weren’t obsessed with getting 1st class either.” She also mentions how, unlike Oxbridge, the

Student Stunners of the '80s?

We accuse the BNP of being intolerant, yet we refuse to tolerate them.

Charlotte Gaughn on why the British treatment of extremist views threatens our democracy.

atmosphere between the students was “collaborative rather than competitive”.

But are we really as different as we would like to think we are? The fact is that our academic ancestors’ hobbeys of talking about literature in their spare time has become less of a social norm nowadays. However let us not put ourselves down, we are not all that un-academically inclined thsese days. It's just that we are forced to find other means of cultural entertainment to satisfy our inner nerd. When we are not studying and/ or spending hours carefully drinking ourselves into oblivion, it is not uncommon to find us taking pleasure in a witty televised satire, an interesting newspaper article regarding current affairs or - at a stretch - going to a play or an opera. In short, beneath the disguise of the seemingly more fashionable attire and contemporary charisma that we’ve come to adopt, we are as dorky as we ever were.

Pure Evil? wri

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Lauren Cockbill takes a look at the Christian Purity Movement

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YORK VISION

A Leak In Our Democracy?

Tuesday December 9, 2008

A

Charlotte Gaughan wonders what the recent controversy over BNP membership says about our attitudes to toleration

few weeks ago, anger and embarrassment reverberated through the BNP HQ as the news broke out that the supposed details of 12,000 of their members had been leaked.

The BNP tried frantically to remove it, threatening legal action to the site that published the list. The majority of websites which originally displayed it have been forced to remove it, several contending they received violent threats from the BNP’s supporters.

The stark reaction of the BNP to protect its members illustrates how intolerant we are as a society of those whose views diverge from the mainstream. People who may already be dubious about the effects that membership of a controversial party may have on their everyday lives could be fearful of reprisals from their neighbors or co-workers.

Had this been, for example, a list of Liberal Democrats, it would have been unlikely to have engendered the same media and public response; would anyone really have cared if it turned out their next door neighbour had been secretly supporting Nick Clegg and Co.?

The adverse reaction to the BNP is no doubt linked to their controversial policies, in particular their “anti immigrant” stance, calling for the repatriation of immigrants and ethnic minorities to their ‘home’ countries. Yet, they state that they are not a racist party, instead their manifesto embodies a nationalist ideology. Surely the ideal of democracy stretches to include expressing views which do not necessarily lie in the central sphere of politics?

Indeed, there are some within the party who feel it is too moderate. Nick Griffin, the national BNP leader, has pinned the blame for the leak on extremists who broke away from the party last year, angry at the modest direction in which the party was headed.

Regardless, there has been an inordinate amount of media and public interest focused on the names found on the list. Simple membership of an organisation that they are legally entitled to join has been used as a sufficient premise to justify actively targeting these people with hate messages and worse. Targeting members could drive the party underground, as they become disaffected with mainstream politics. Surely it’s better to accept the BNP as an ordinary political party than watch it radicalise and turn into a Neo-Nazi style underground organisation as has happened in Germany.

The BNP has long claimed that it is un- ried about the potential effects on their fairly treated by both the media and the lives that people finding out could propolitical system itself. The voke. More worrying party has been quick to are the death threats note that the publication a BNP councillor, of the list is a stark breach Michael Coleman of both British and EU hu(Stoke-on-Trent), has man rights law .The BNP’s been receiving since constant reference to EU his home address was law to defend its actions is published on the list. interesting given that the However, the harassBNP are a party calling for ment of known BNP Britain’s immediate withmembers started long drawal from the European before the turn of Union. Instead, the BNP recent events. Only tend to focus their politics now are people’s liveon a regional level. The lihoods and social University of York lies in standing being threata BNP heartland; their ened due to our intolstrongest base is in Yorkerance of their views. shire, where in the Among the revealed 2005 national elecare church ministions, it fielded 35 ters, school teachcandidates. Only one ers, ex servicemen A BNP week before the leak, and doctors. Most campaign poster. controversy surroundcontroversially the ing the party was name of a serving posparked after the BNP were found to liceman was revealed, a direct defiance have distributed leaflets in the east of of the ban on police membership of the the City. The party has disclosed that BNP. Under current UK legislation the they will be stepping up campaigning police are banned from taking an active in the run up to the June elections. stance in any political party. The law, With the party projecting on their which came into force in the beginning website that “the BNP would need of 2005, specifically states that it is illeonly 7.5 percent of the vote in northwest gal for a police officer to be a member of England and only 11 percent in Yorkshire the national front, Combat 18 or the BNP. and the West Midlands to win seats in the Ken Booth told Vision that the BNP ban European parliament”, it would appear was a “direct infringement on the liberthat their aim of reaching Europe is not ties of the police officers and against just a mere fantasy. This is perhaps proven EU law”. It is unclear as to whether the by their recent performance in council freedom of association act embodied in elections, seeing as BNP success in the EU legislation extends to include police. area seems to be on the rise, with the par- It is understandable that the police have to ty’s candidates polling over 20 percent of be careful not to abuse their position and the vote in two East Yorkshire by-elections politically influence the public; however, just 10 days after the leak. However, for the is membership of a legal political party mean time, relative electoral success has really doing this? To permit the BNP to only come at the local level. It currently run in elections and campaign alongside has 8 of its 33 councillors in Yorkshire. 'normal' political parties and then to upSpeaking to Vision, Ken Booth, the BNP hold that certain sectors of society are regional organiser for the North East, not allowed to join them as they aren’t a stated that its members were “loud and 'normal' party seems self-contradicting. proud” and “recent events would not damThe BNP view the ban on police memage support for the party”. This is how bership as another discriminatory pildemocracy should operate - people should lar in British politics. Booth also combe encouraged to speak out for their views plained that the media coverage of the and participate in democracy. By demon- BNP was “very unfair and very biased.” ising the BNP we are distracting from the In protest the BNP are currently running aims of democracy. If people express their a national boycott of the Daily Mirror. support for the BNP through the legiti- What is in essence a membership list mate institution of voting, aren’t we thus of a legal political party has wreaked obliged to accept their views and treat chaos. If we are to support freedom these people the same as anybody else? of speech and freedom of association, Despite the “loud and proud” stance of surely this should extend to those whose party activists, membership of the BNP views differ from the mainstream. We acis not something every member feels they cuse the BNP of being intolerant, when can broadcast. Members are clearly wor- we ourselves refuse to tolerate them.

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By demonising the BNP we are distracting from the aims of democracy

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confessions of a campus duck Unfortunately, one downside of basking in your own dissolved faeces while occasionally emitting mating calls (which can, at best, be praised for their pristine comic timing) is that you’re forced to witness humans doing something eerily similar. More than once I’ve observed the aforementioned mammal, late at night, limping back to their abode with fresh urine strains drifting ever-further down their faded blue jeans. Being a philosophical duck, one cannot escape the haunting symbolism of this denim debauchery: while our souls begin existence as a pure state, collecting stains from failed moral decisions, the humans’ denim jeans act in reverse. As pure, they radiate joyful blue, but soon – after a combination of lager, curry, blood and spittle (often all contained in a single dose of vomit) – the attempts to wash away these impurities eventually cause the clothing to fade. As such: pale souls may symbolise integrity, but pale jeans indicate a close relationship with the owner’s bodily fluids.

A particular example of this bodily fluid occurred the other night, roughly 4 evenings ago, when I was settling down to my regular routine. It was a good night initially; Frasier was playing from a nearby open window, and I’d positioned myself expertly upon a low-functioning water fountain, enabling the smooth vibrations to cleanse the stress collected in my lower back. The vibrations must’ve raised more than my feathers, as I suddenly urged a meeting with my longtime duck-buddy Madame Mallard.

However, it was not to be, as I was suddenly distracted by two humans fumbling around in the bushes; they stank of fermented apples and seemed focused on relieving the other’s (apparently chronic) dehydration with their respective tongues. The act continued for some time, until the couple – with their prospectively provoked procreational tendencies – attempted to initiate intimacy of a cardinal nature on the grass opposite your narrator.

It’s at this point I should mention quite how dark it was. You see, normally, an act such as this would‘ve been stopped soberly by the simple observation of Anas platyrhynchos defecateus (occasionally shortened to “duck shit”) covering the grass. Unfortunately for our two subjects, the massive volume of this natural waste wasn’t visible to their eye, and as such they were soon completely naked and unknowingly smeared with it. Normally, under such circumstances I would’ve tried to scare them off in a neighbourly respect for their hygiene – however, as they’d interrupted my peaceful evening with their provocative escapades, I felt no remorse witnessing them soil their bodies with my post-digested bread droppings. Nonetheless, the two continued, until the female’s head began a rather strange dissent towards the centre-waist of the male.

What her head intended to do down there still eludes me, but somehow she received a healthy taste of duckdiarrhea on her taste-buds. Soon there were sounds of screaming, then appearances of vomiting, followed finally by the two humans stumbling away from one another with miserable groans clearly audible. An upsetting situation for the two, but at least it went well for me: amongst the vomit I found plenty of partially-digested chips and beans, so immediately I invited Madame Mallard over for a delicious dinner-date.

Hopefully this’ll be a lesson to all you horny humans: if you want to have adventurous outdoor intercourse, don’t do it near a natural toilet! (And that includes Langwith).

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Tuesday December 9th, 2008

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YORK VISION

Tuesday December 9th, 2008

JCRc chairs - HOW DID THEY fARe? Mike Regan reviews the best and the worst of the outgoing campus power brokers.

W

e just don’t do democracy very well here at York do we? There seems to be a general cynicism that emanates from us as students towards those who choose to be the object of our displeasure by entering the clique ridden, incestuous world of student politics. Some college’s JCRC elections have been ridden with the type of bitching, backstabbing, and victimisation that we would expect from Big Brother contestants, not from the civilised and educated beings of York’s student population. Our cynicism though, is not merely a product of our own adolescent anger, there must be more to it.

So here we are, with what started out as an enquiry into student opinions on their outgoing college chairs but ended up, like a Daily Mail witch hunt, developing into something far more sinister.

In a number of colleges there is a profound disparity between college students and the body intended to represent them. The experiences of some York students are quite simply shocking. Rory Muse, a James college second-year, said the following when asked on his viewpoints on his current JCRC chair Amber Brittian: “I’m not sure if James College actually has a chair? I don’t get any emails like I did in my first year, I couldn’t name you one person on the JCR committee."

As part of Derwent College, a college where it has to be said for the most part the JCR is a key and vocal contributor to most student’s collegiate experience, I find this kind of feeling surprising.

However, it is a feeling not confined to

one college. Helen Nianas, a Halifax college third-year echoes these sentiments, “I have no idea who my chair is, what my chair has done and how my college has been affected by his or her tenure,” What a sad indictment of our collegiate system, a system that is intended to foster greater intimacy and linkage between us and the university establishment. Yet the elected body intended to most represent us as students is in so many cases the preserve of those who see it as another step on the university’s sickening social pyramid, or just another fancy title to add to their CV. From college to college, the sentiments seem to be the same. The JCRC appears far too exclusive where potential newcomers are rounded on like packs of wolves by established members. A Derwent College second year, preferring to remain anonymous, remarked that he was put off from standing for a position on the JCRC because ‘ it is a social clique, even if I was to get elected I would not feel comfortable at all in meetings and in a social context. It is far too exclusive’. So how is it that College JCRC’s are drifting so markedly away from the majority of students? And why are so many put off from standing? One thing that occurred to me as recently as the Derwent hustings, was that it’s a bit of an ordeal really. Derwent is one of a number of colleges that requires their prospective candidates to undertake various challenges to prove their worth to their peers. Some of the challenges were quite simply humiliating; the candidate for vice chair was re-

ALCUIN Eric O'Connor

Described by second year Alcuiner Polly Ingham as "professional and efficient," Eric O’ Connor has proved a popular chair. Furthermore, he is probably the only outgoing chair to have gathered a string of notable achievements during his tenure. Both his handling of the accommodation troubles in Alcuin and the launch of the successful ‘There is a plan B’ campaign, mean he can be proud of his spell as chair.

✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰ If they were famous: RICHARD CURTIS

He may not be a shameless bono like media whore , but does his job more than competantly, without the credit he deserves.

quired to eat a tub of ice cream filled with chilli. But one can't help but think; Why should she? She looked as though the mere thought of eating the concoction was going to make her both vomit and cry like paramedics surveying a vehicle wreckage in a Parisian underpass. Yet despite her visible disgust, the poor girl was goaded and guilt tripped by the outgoing chair and vice chair of the college into putting her face into

the ice cream tub. The whole incident was profoundly distasteful.

So with that in mind, here is York Vision’s comprehensive, controversial and downright cracking review of the outgoing JCRC chairs.

No punches are pulled; so let the complaints come flooding in...

LANGWITH Zach Pepper

His stewardship has seen the closure of Langwith college bar, and the continued fading into obscurity of one of York's founding colleges. Yet he receives definete plus points for feeding Nouse's futile obsession with the Langwith bar.

✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰

VANBRUGH derwent Oliver Lester

Late blips aside, Oliver Lester will be a tough act to follow. In contrast to many of those under his authority he is approachable, friendly and devoid of arrogance.

Derwent events continue to outsell all their rivals and he has aided the success of a popular college newspaper. His one key failure has been that despite encouraging rhetoric, the perennially ignored Eden’s Court remains completely ostracised from college life.

✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰ If they were famous: HERMIONE GRANGER

Matt Oliver

The current battle for chair may well be a little bitter, with the graffiti and defacing of candidate Dani Fill’s posters standing out as one particularly sour moment. Yet there is a general consensus within Vanbrugh that outgoing chair Matt Oliver has been a successful JCRC chair. It’s nigh on impossible to find anyone with a bad word to say about Matt Oliver. Vision’s very own Dan Hewitt remarked: "He has gone beyond the call of duty on several occasions and has occupied the post of chair with dignity and respect."

✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰ If they were famous: ALAN RICKMAN Always looks a little grumpy, yet typically does exactly what is required of him.

Has the ability to be just about everywhere, at just about every time imaginable. There must be something supernatural going on.

If they were famous: LOUIS WALSH

GOODRICKE

He is well respected, well liked but has he actually done anything of note?

JAMES HALIFAX David Sharpe

Described by second year student Mark Pickard as ‘useless, inept and idle’, David Sharp may rival Amber Britain for least popular college chair. Considering Halifax is about as important to university life as a football would be to Stephen Hawkings, to be chair of Halifax JCRC is a thankless task. Yet it is inexcusable to be as remote and lazy as David Sharp has been is inexcusabl, under his stewardship JJ’s has closed down and Halifax has become an apathy riddled laughing stock.

✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰ If they were famous: AXL ROSE

Rose took 15 years to make an anticlimactic album. David Sharp’s tenure has smacked of a similar puzzling laziness.

Amber Brittain

A shables, a complete and utter shambles.

Just one example of the logic defying incompetance is that should a student want to send an e mail to their JCR chair, it still bizarrely reaches ousted chair Chet Khatu. Described

by Khatu as a character who "creates difficulty for those she ends up working with," the now re-elected chair Amber Brittain may be proficient in underhand scheming but she has done next to nothing to convince anybody of any further attributes. With a growing number of enemies within her college, a looming vote of no confidence is regretfully inevitable.

✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰ If they were famous: LORD LUCAN This example may be done in the interests of gender bending and the tasteful ignorance of a more contemporary example, yet it is alarmingly accurate. Amber Brittain is barely contactable, generally absent from college life and somewhat aloof. Just like that beardy, shady looking politician who disappeared.

Joe Clarke

Joe Clarke recieves a score of 7 for his commendable coommitment to his post, however taking away six points seems a fair punishment for the failing of his degree. Having been, apparently, seen forlornly wandering campus mourning his former haunts like the world’s least wary serial killer, Joe Clarke is finding it hard to let go. But despite their being a rather macabre hilarity about his demise, his commitment and work ethic towards

✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰✰ If they were famous: DALE WINTON

Rather gregarious and rather vivacious, Clarke probably gets his kicks these days from pushing trolleys around supermarkets, a la Supermarket Sweep.

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YORK VISION

Tuesday December 11th, 2008

Fears of a Clown

Alex Richman talks to comedian Iain Lee.

I

ain Lee’s career seems to have gone in reverse.

The gawky presenter found fame as host of the 11 O’Clock Show, only for a gaggle of insolent contributors to become far more famous than their ringleader. The programme acted as the kind of comedic launch-pad most producers can only dream of - Sacha Baron Cohen, Ricky Gervais and Mackenzie Crook are all now Hollywood stars - yet Lee finds himself back at square one, performing stand-up in pubs to downwards of a dozen people.

“I’m still not sure if there’s anything in it for me. I’m not a natural comic so I have to try doubly hard where

On the 11 O'Clock News with Mackenzie Crook

some people can do what I’m doing without breaking into a sweat.”

Progress remains slow: “I’m getting more relaxed and better at pissing around on stage but find it almost impossible to actually write jokes.

Which for a stand-up is a bit shit.” The self-effacement comes as a shock, given Lee became known for his brash, cocky on-screen persona; but then there has been little of Lee on television to take in recently. You are more likely to see the comedian advertising cider than appearing on the myriad panel-shows that litter the schedules. This is strange, considering that Lee’s acerbic wit is ideally suited to the format’s sharp quipping. What explains his profligacy in front of studio audiences?

“I just can’t do them. I don’t have the confidence or skill at humour to shine,” laments Lee. “They are very much a closed club.” It’s a suspicion most viewers hold, one that explains why the newest cast members are always so quiet. “Every now and then an agent persuaded me it would be good for my career,” explains Lee, but an uncomfortable recent appearance on 8 out of 10 Cats did little to win him over.

Nevertheless, Lee’s workload

remains steady, with the aforementioned cider campaign supplementing an impressive portfolio of work. On the box, appearances on The One Show are rebuilding Lee’s mainstream profile, while a pilot for a sketch show with former colleague and flat-mate Mackenzie Crook has been filmed. (If Armstrong and Miller can be catapulted to comedic stardom after years of steadily ploughing away, then with Crook’s star power, the pair have reasons to be hopeful.)

Lee also has a considerable audio presence: ironically, his continuity work for Dave mostly involves the introduction of panel shows. Lee’s meatiest job is a three-hour Sunday night phone-in on Absolute Radio, and his passion for the format is palpable. “It’s great fun. I really get a kick out of hearing real people generally talking bollocks and spouting clichés about stuff they know nothing about.”

It’s a definite step up from his previous stint on the London channel LBC. “I miss the right-wing bigots, the Jesus freaks and the middle-aged women. The callers to Absolute are a much narrower group than I had before, and that does sadden me a little, but the new listeners have taken to me pretty well.” The show affords Lee a generous dollop of freedom, with the procession of deliberately rubbish callin topics - recent highlights include ‘have you ever had dinner in a fur hat’ - broadening the canvas onto which his cast of late-night cranks can paint.

However, it is usually late-night radio presenters that dream of terrestrial television. Does Lee feel happy, having swapped cameras for callers?

“I prefer radio in as much as it’s more instant gratification, has a quicker turnover and, because I do a phonein, I know immediately if people are

enjoying it or not.” But of course, that’s not the whole story. “If I’m completely honest, I miss telly a lot and it’s definitely my favourite. Because it has pictures on it, innit.” The joke is laboured, an attempt to hide the disappointment, the self-doubt, and the need for constant reassurance that wrack the man delivering it. The complete comic package.

With no word on a new contract as the Absolute deal draws to a close, and no more than seven minutes of stand-up material to his name, some might fear that Lee’s regression from stardom may soon be complete. His undeniable talent guarantees that work will always be there; it’s the magnitude of the jobs that matters. Is it too much to ask for two big breaks in one career?

Lord of the Rings?

K

Lauren Cockbill looks at the growing youth movement.

hrystian is twenty years old, still a virgin and has never been kissed.

Unlike most young people who explore their sexuality before marriage, she has chosen to lead a life of purity before God. Along with one in six American girls, Khrystian has made her pledge as part of the Purity Movement; a Christian scheme that preaches sexual abstinence before marriage and is growing in popularity.

Are young, impressionable girls being pressured into making a purity pledge? What are the dangers of this type of extremism? What are York University Christian Union’s views regarding the movement? These are all questions I set out to find answers to.

Channel 4’s documentary ‘The Virgin Daughters’ explores the lives of girls who have made a purity pledge and their encouraging fathers. It focuses on Khrystian’s family, the Wilsons, who live in Colorado Springs. Reverend Randy Wilson and his wife Lisa created the idea of a Purity Ball which

is now in its ninth year running and is an integral feature of the movement. The ball marks a girl’s pledge to purity and is the event at which the girls’ fathers pledge to protect their daughters from evil sexual enemy.

Reverend Wilson stresses the importance of the father-daughter relationship: ‘The core question that girls ask is ‘Am I beautiful? Am I worthy of being pursued?’ A daughter’s worthiness should be enforced by her father otherwise she will look elsewhere.’ Reverend Wilson’s statement made me feel uneasy; questions such as ‘Am I intelligent?’ and ‘Am I confident?’ are also vital to a girl’s self esteem. I addressed my concern to the president of York University’s Christian Union (CU): ‘Girls are taught to ask ‘Am I beautiful’ by pressures such as the media but they should be asking more of themselves.

The Bible describes strong women who have many talents, not just good looks.

Queen Esther is a perfect example.’

Esther, whose book is to be found in the Old Testament, was a queen of the Persian Empire. Her prowess as a leader meant she secured Persia for the Persian Jews who continued to live there for 2400 years.

Designating self-image as the defining aspect of a girl was not the only feature of the documentary that I found alarming. I started to question whether girls such as Khrystian and her sisters had been indoctrinated

A daughter's worthiness should be enforced by her father otherwise she will look elsewhere

into thinking that sexual abstinence is the only path to follow and whether they had the freedom to choose a different path. How much pressure is being put on the Wilson children to conform to their parents’ beliefs?

The danger of such indoctrination is clear in the case of Jessica. She describes her upbringing as comparable to Little House on the Prairie; she reared chickens, knitted quilts and made honey. Her life revolved around Church and family, anything worldly was considered secular and not Godly thus boys were considered a taboo subject. Jessica had made her purity pledge and at the age of nineteen she was given permission to date. Having lived such a narrow existence Jessica has received no sex education and consequently she broke her pledge and became pregnant. Her parents were devastated and insisted she marry the baby’s father. The guilt she felt was excruciating. Jessica miscarried which released her from marrying its father who she knew ‘was not the right person’. The pain she has endured is evident; she finds it hard to control her tears when she explains how her relationship with her parents has been destroyed.

She now cohabits with her boyfriend who her mum says can ‘go to hell’.

How do supporters of the Purity Movement justify the suffering that Jessica has undergone? I put this question to an American Christian who is studying at the Calvary Chapel Bible College in York.

‘The Purity Movement needs to be coupled with sex education; to neglect sex education is ignorant.’

This opinion was echoed by the CU president. On the issue of indoctrination she commented that: ‘If a family is pushing for sexual abstinence I do wonder how much choice the girl has. However as girls grow up they do have the maturity to question promises they made when they were younger. Each individual needs to make their own decision, they should not be coerced. In the case of Jessica, God would be displeased if she had married a man who was not right for her. The Bible tells us that marriage is a blessing, it should not be a hardship.’

For the Purity Movement to have a positive influence on girls’ lives it is clear that the movement needs to be practiced in the right environment. The promotion of sexual abstinence needs to be accompanied with sexual education.

Naivety coupled with raging hormones will lead to painful consequences. Furthermore girls need to have the option to decide for themselves free from the pressure of over zealous parents.

YORK VISION

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LIFESTYLE

LIFESTYLE

Tuesday December 9, 2008

HOT Wooly hats and scarves!

Anything to keep warm.

>STYLE

>RELATIONSHIPS

>FOOD

>TRAVEL

Dec' Your Halls!

Rachel Knox tries to save you a few pennies this festive season, student style

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Snow.

Everyone loves a snowball fight

Campus elections.

Tiny bit annoying?

Runny noses.

Everyone's ill!

e’ve only got two weeks left of term, the weather's horrible, we’re all having to finally ‘give in’ and put the heating on just a tiny bit. Exams are looming, essays are piling up and we’re having to pay to use the coat check in Gallery or push the boat out and get a taxi home to make sure we don’t freeze.

December is here and brings with it a whole heap of extra expenses: Christmas presents, warm clothes and many a student return on the uni bus. And then there are the necessities: a Christmas lunch for the whole corridor, your outfit for Christmas D and the decorations to make your halls look so festive Santa would think he's wandered into his own grotto. We all know that end-of-term bank balances can look as gloomy as the winter weather, what with that and the credit crunch, hopes of a cheery student Christmas look as doubtful as ever. But fret not; Vision is here to help save extra cost on these last few Christmas filled weeks in York.

I know what you’re thinking: "Shit, my halls are massive, god knows how many fairy lights and tinsel we’ll need to decorate this place." Well this may not come as much of surprise but it’s Poundland to the rescue yet again, its like Santa’s grotto in there this time of year.

Between a few flatmates a few pound's worth of tinsel and baubles won’t break the bank. Or the even cheaper option would be to make some; who says newspaper paper chains don’t

look as nice as the real thing? Nouse has got to be good for something and if it brings festive cheer then why not? I’m sure baubles m a d e with pictures of your

friends' drunken faces stuck on would make your Christmas funnier than extortionatly priced, glittered snowflakes that somebody is bound to break anyway. After all, we’re living in student houses not the Beckham mansion, Poundland tinsel can even make the mounds of filthy pots filling the kitchen look Christmassy.

Budget Secret Santa can spread cheap Christmas cheer right along your corridor. With strictly humorous presents only and a limit of three or four pounds, it’s certain everyone will get exactly what they’ve asked for. Everyone wants a signed Richard and Judy autobiography and furry pink binoculars from Oxfam right?

A fake Christmas day in week 10 can rival the real thing. With all the decorations, the present swapping and the all-important Christmas dinner, it's hard to tell the difference. Some idiot is bound to be struck with the festive spirit and volunteer to cook for everyone!

And if you can withstand anymore glittered Christmas spirit, get to Derwent’s Christmas D or Vanburgh’s Winter Wonderland (or your college’s equivalent). Don’t forget your outfit, fancy dress is after all one of the most important factors of student life and your bound to pull dressed as a snowman.

So follow this very specially prepared Vision Student Christmas Checklist and hopefully save a few pennies this festive season, and probably have some typical student fun in the process...

Vision Student Christmas Shopping List:

Louis Walsh - the most annoying man on television!

NOT

Poundland Christmas Lights: £1

Poundland Tinsel: £1 (Gold, red, or silver)

Secret Santa Giftprice depending on budget

Snow in a can!

About £3 in Boyes

Santa Hat £4 in Festival of Fun

LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION Tuesday December 9, 2008

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RELATIONSHIPS DRIVING HOME FOR XMAS Joanne Rea takes us home for some Christmas Lovin'...

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e’re going all soppy and lovestruck this week at Vision. The holidays are coming - and it's time to get out of our student bubble and back to the real world. Nagging parents, household chores, screaming siblings but also a time to enjoy Christmas. Many of us look forward to the presents and the food, but in particular the chance to spend some quality time with our loved ones. Every term, a number of besotted students leave their boyfriend or girlfriend pining at home or at a different university. It's an emotional time and on the very first time, you don’t think that you’ll ever be happy away from them. But as the year unfolds, does this change?

Undoubtedly, the first year of university is the most difficult for anyone, whether single or in a relationship. But having a miserable boyfriend at home can really put a strain on things. You don't want to feel weighed down, you've come to university with so many things to achieve: get a degree, make lots of new friends, get drunk and stay dedicated to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Everyone who is in a relationship is thinking the same: "I will stay devoted, this will work despite what everyone is saying to me!"

But the first few weeks of university are like nothing else, a whirlwind of new activities, places and friends. Often, priorities, free time and feelings begin to change. With all that work (yes, we all thought first year was difficult once) and socialising, there just isn't time for that two-hour phone call every night. A lot of people realise as early as Fresher's Week that their boyfriend or girlfriend from their one-dimensional old life just really doesn’t seem to fit into their new one.

Sometimes these changes can't be helped: they're not selfish, but purely natural.

However, all is not lost for you longterm couples. For things to work, your boyfriend needs to get along with your university friends. Jealousy or confusion are natural products if feels shut out of your new life. Instead, there needs to be a happy medium between time spent with your boyfriend and with your new friends as not to alienate either. My boyfriend comes out with me and my university friends all the time; he's a part of our friendship group now.

We’re forgetting the others, the ones who do stay together, even until thirdyear and post-university: yes, they do exist! I spoke to a third-year student who has been with her boyfriend for

four years, since school! It looks like, despite the distance and difficulties university brings, being with each other is all that matters! A suitably cheesey thought for Christmas: true love can prevail.

After a rocky first term, there is really no better time than Christmas to rekindle those feelings and remember why you’re going out with that person in the first place. Of course the vast amount of food, presents, mistletoe and even just that lovely Christmassy feeling will help you along the way if your relationship has gone a little icy into winter. The festive season saves many a relationship, as it reminds us of what Christmas is really about in the modern age: spending time with our loved ones, making them smile, whether it be with a joke, hug, mince pie or present or two.

STUDENT Sex Secrets Where is the kinkiest place you've ever had sex?

Year: Second Status: In a relationship Subject: Biology College: Derwent Kinkiest Place...

Year: First Status: In a relationship Subject: History College: Goodricke Kinkiest Place...

Year: Second Status: Single Subject: Economics College: Derwent Kinkiest Place...

On the way back from Ziggy's!

Under the bed

Next to the Buddha on the construction site on campus!

Filth Rating:

Filth Rating:

Filth Rating:

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RACKER C S A M T S I CHR Gemma Williams adivses us how to have an x-rated Xmas!

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’ve been asked to write this article to help you floundering romantics find love under the mistletoe. However, I have come to the conclusion that Christmas is not a good time to start a relationship at all.

For a start, everyone is broke, so you will not get bought drinks or dinner and you will have to buy a present you hadn’t budgeted for. Also, everyone is stressed ,so you will more than likely argue more than you would normally - not a good start to a relationship.

For those of you lucky enough to have Christmas parties to go to and have someone there you want to impress, I suggest you go easy on the sherry - you don’t want to see photos the next day of you passed out in a paper hat showing your underwear while your crush looks at you in pity, or worse, disgust! If, on the other hand, it’s a free bar and you don’t mind the risk of embarrassing yourself then make the most of it. I often put consumption of alcohol above my dignity and always end up having a good night! I feel the need to add that Week 10 Ziggy's does not count as a Christmas party so don’t feel you have to make any attempt at having a sophisticated night.

Of course Christmas isn’t Christmas without a sexy Mrs Claus outfit, to be found for £35 in Ann Summers.

For a different, more walletfriendly approach, try white fluffy nipple tassels (£6) and a pair of crotchless knickers (red of course) - very sexy!

You may be tempted with the whole "I know I’ll wrap my self up as a present" idea, but let me warn you now, it’s not worth the hassle! Unless you have some very considerate friends to lend a hand, it will just put you in a foul mood and waste wrapping paper! Much easier is putting a bow on your head, donning a pair of stilettos and a trench coat to drop when you’re in private: 30 seconds preparation and you're done.

It’s more of a challenge however to dress a guy in a provocative Christmas outfit.

There are, of course, the novelty pouches but Rudolph’s head at the top of a thong just doesn’t do it for me. Silk-red boxers (£15 Ann Summers), on the other hand, I like, especially when worn with a Santa hat.

Here's wishing you all an erotic Christmas and an X-tra steamy new year!

!

YORK VISION

LIFESTYLE

Tuesday December 9, 2008

the

Hot list mince pies because it wouldn't be christmas without them...

Gregg's Mince Pie 30p each or 6 for £1.20

Crumbly pastry, well balanced, with a sweet tangy centre.

Super cheap as well!

✰✰✰✰✰ Baker's Oven Viennese Mince Pie 65p each or 3 for £1.60

An unusual take on the traditional mince pie - think mince pie topped with a vienese swirl.

Lovely pastry but could have done with

FOOD&DRINK

'TIS THE SEASON TO BE EATING Sally Daniels gives advice on cooking pre-Christmas dinner.

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t is my belief that cooking preChristmas dinner in a crap kitchen is an essential university experience, akin to rolling down Clifford’s Tower hill in Freshers' Week. Cooking a full festive feast, with all the trimmings, in a kitchen which has not been refurbished since the uni opened in 1963, can prove challenging. For those of you suffering in luxury in Alcuin

kitchens this article is not for you.

This is for all those first-years in substandard kitchens that are only fit for making Pot Noodles, and for those Sinclair Estate Agents deceived when they described the kitchen as ‘modernised’. To you, I give my five rules of pre-Christmas dinner preparation survival.

1. Buy a small bird!

Get a small bird! University ovens on the whole are ridiculously small. The giant turkey may look like fun but you will be sawing it in half if you want it cooked by the time you head home for Christmas. Also remember that the extra time spent stuffing your own turkey will mean you’ll have fewer dishes to juggle in the kitchen.

I warn you my next tip is radical so traditionalists you have been warned. I suggest you commit Yuletide heresy and buy a rotisserie chicken. If you are not the best of cooks then this really is the most sensible course of action. Remember, your housemates will not be happy when your undercooked turkey gives them salmonella poisoning for the entire Christmas break. Furthermore, what you lack in turkey you can make up with pigs in blanket - and let's be honest everyone prefers them really!

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2. Dont cheat your Roasties

Ignore the McCain adverts - the roastie can not be cheated. Tell Delia to do one and stick with tradition. Invest in goose fat as it always yields the most succulent roasties, however, be considerate of vegetarian friends and do some in oil. Once done, season with salt (preferably Maldon) and fresh sprigs of Rosemary.

3. Prepare Beforehand

Christmas vegetables are always so dull. Try to spice things up this year, add some bacon to your sprouts or serve some red cabbage with apple (see recipe opposite). Red cabbage is great because it can be cooked the day before and then heated up in the microwave tasting even better.

Anything that can be cooked in advance is a godsend when you need extra room in that oven.

Baker's Oven Mince Pie

40p each or 6 for £1.65

Filling was gritty and bitter and the pastry was too sugary even for my sweet tooth. However, tasted better when warmed in the oven.

✰✰✰✰✰ Bettys Mince Pie

£1.50 each or £2.20 with Brandy Butter (eating in) Marvelously delicious, and the brandy butter oozed of alchol; this is a definate Christmas treat. This should not be bought if you are hungry, unless you have enough money for three!

✰✰✰✰✰ Somerfield Best Ever Mince Pies 6 for £1.90 Definitely the best value for money in terms of quality. There are a decent size and very rich, so one is enough to satisfy.

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RED CABBAGE AND APPLE

1 small red onion (thinly sliced) 15g butter 500g red cabbage (shredded) 1tbsp brown sugar 1tbsp red wine vinegar 1/2 tsp all spice 2 eating apples (cored and diced) 1. Cook the onion in the butter until soft. Add the cabbage, sugar, vinegar and the all spice.

2. Combine, then cover and leave to simmer for 40 mins. Stir occasionally, adding a little extra water, if necessary, to prevent sticking.

3. Add the apples and continue to cook for a further 15 mins.

4. Gravy fixes everything

Gravy – lots of it. Again, not that I underestimate the average student's cooking abilities, but any sort of sauce is great for concealing any things you’d rather not see.

5. Get drunk

Keep the drinks flowing, no one will notice that the turkey is underdone and the roasties are burnt if you ply them with enough alcohol. If all else fails, get drunk yourself and forget the sorry mess ever happened.

So there it is, not a foolproof guide by any means, but the first steps towards a less stressful preChristmas dinner. Finally, I remind you to enjoy and refrain from throttling the housemate who no doubt will think it’s funny to ask ‘what’s for dessert?’

Kotenko takes a look at Christmas markets in York and Leeds GERMAN MARKETS Anna

CHRISTMAS TIPPLES THE SNOWBALL

Why not bring back this 70s classic this Christmas?

Ingredients Advocaat Lemonade (chilled) Fresh Lime Juice 1. Fill a glass with one part advocaat to three parts lemonade 2. Spritz with lime juice to taste.

MULLED WINE

Christmas personified in a drink!

Ingredients 1 bottle of full-flavored red wine 80g sugar 2 cinnamon sticks 1 tsp whole allspice 1 tsp cloves 1 stem of ginger (sliced) ½ Granny Smith apple, cored and sliced One peeled and sliced orange 1. Combine all ingredients in a large pan. Gently warm the ingredients (avoid boiling), for 20-25 minutes.

2. Stir occasionally to make sure that the sugar has completely dissolved.

3. When the ingredients have been well blended it is ready to serve. Ladle into mugs (leave seasonings behind) and enjoy!

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ne of the best ways to begin celebrating Christmas is to start the continuum of eating, which belies this time of year, with a wander around a German Christmas market. York had four markets the other weekend. The most eclectic is the one situated near M&S, which offers food, drink and gifts. However, for foodies, the range of food stalls is a bit disappointing; gift stalls, such as hand-made driftwood mirrors and jewellery occupy most of the market. York’s central Christmas market is more goods-based than the German Market in Leeds, which is a travelling collection of edible treats.

Thirty wooden chalet stalls from authentic German traders comprise the Christkindelmarkt in Millennium Square. A visit can quickly empty any food lover’s wallet. If your senses are overwhelmed by the smells of roasted meat fused with wafts of mulled wine, then choosing from the selection of hot

drinks won’t disappoint. ‘Lady’s Dream’: kakao, Baileys and cream, will warm up the girls and, for the boys, the Baileys is exchanged for rum. However, at £3.50, this winter warmer is not for a student budget.

A personal highlight was purchasing a pint-size, festive mug for £2.

Unfortunately, filling it with mulled wine required buying two cups and cost £6. Absolutely delicious and available in four flavours, the alcohol content in the mulled wine is high enough to give you a warm glow that will soon make you forget what you have paid. York’s brandy and Baileys’ hot chocolate at £2.50 is better value for money, but the absence of mulled wine, in my opinion, makes its Christmas market status questionable.

Whilst tasty, roasted nuts, sausages and crepes are the only things to eat in York’s high street market. However, the street music does make a trip a worthwhile experience and the stream of unique stalls make it a brilliant place to find some unusual presents. For those of you who have a sweet tooth and love Christmas, the Christkindelmarkt is a necessity. A stall devoted to hand-made marshmallows is particularly enjoyable and decadence is personified in the handmade truffle stall. Half-roasted duck, pickled cabbage and mashed potato are more than enough to satisfy the need for something savoury, whilst soups and goulash at £3 are cheaper alternatives.

For a slightly more adventurous palate, half a knuckle of pork could be an option.

York’s weekend farmers' market may account for food stalls being thinner on the ground, so if it is food you are after, and you can stretch the £6 train fare, my advice would be to go to Leeds.

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YORK VISION

LIFESTYLE

Tuesday December 9, 2008

STYLE

I'M ON THE BLOG!

Immy Willetts on the fashionista's answer to Second Skin, and whether blogs are all they're cracked up to be ...

o say that missing the Louis Theroux documentary on gun crime to research fashion blogs was a low point in my Vision career would be an understatement. In the time it took for Louis to explain Philidelphia street violence to a (let’s be honest) mildly racist middle-class audience, I’d be hardpressed to recommend even two fashion blogs. The blog authors are either stealyour-boyfriend pouty, or unattractive and unfashionable in ghastly ‘flattering’ outfits. They’re written by the sort of girl who’d bring an ugly mate to a party, or the ugly mate herself. One average-looking blogette posted pictures of Agyness Dean looking totes bangable in tight, sexy dresses alongside herself… In. The. Same. Dress, it can be seen at: http://fabfrocks.blogspot. com/2008/03/trial-by-changingroom-giles-for-new.html.

To be fair, she knows exactly what she’s doing through the An exmple of the flattering angles used by bloggers, her fifties fashion can be found at http://fashionforestry. blogspot.com

hopeless photos. She has successfully exposed the cruel secret the entire modelling industry depends on; the lie that all you need to look like that model in the pretty dress, is the pretty dress. But through fashion blogs we want the comfort that even the proverbial ‘Joe Bloggs’ can look brilliant with the right outfit.

The 'kitten' in the otherwise dog-eat-dog world of fashion journalism was a small piece I found about dressing like Monty Python’s Spanish Inquisition.

I assumed that veering away from the mainstream Grazia/ Topshop fashion would reveal obscure new styles, but the majority of bloggers seem to be girls eager to show off how ‘nice’ they look in a high-waisted dress. Street style blogs are a bit more uplifting, and adictive. Fashion has often fetishised the street, and these Amy-Jeanne takes inspiration from old photos like this: at http://amyjeanne.livejournal.com/189459. html

blogs are a modern continuation of the Parisian flaneur or British ‘dandy’; the original observers of city life. The New York ‘Sartorialist’ is good, especially the little witticisms that accompany the photos, the sort of thing you might whisper to a friend when seeing an eye-catching outfit; "it looks like it could be Rome circa 1963."

The best one of these blogs is facehunter.blogspot. com, whose outfits seem less ‘haute couture’ than the Sartorialist. The girl in the purple dress was snapped by facehunter at a German electro gig. It’s also refreshing to look at street blogs from abroad, as their pop culture inspiration is alien to us; the Manchester Uk blog reads as a collection of aspiring

Noel Fieldings (yawn) and Amy Winehouses.

Seeing someone in a genuinely amazing outfit in real life is a rare treat, it last happened to me whilst walking to the library and spotting someone in a shell-suit jacket emblazoned with a huge ‘Marmite’ logo. The satisfying sense of jealousy is inspiring. If anything, fashion blogs show us that style ultimately thrives off competition, dirtydirtydancing.com is made up of photos of ‘Nathan Barley’ club-nights in London, each outfit looks extreme but basically the same.

Each trying to outdo each other in terms of ‘wackiness’, as Brick Laners do with fashion, Phili gangs do with guns. We're just waiting for Theroux to make the documentary.

Write your blog on campus with this purple macbook, from £704, applestore.com

This 12-year-old blogger is probably not on the blob. Her Lolitaesque blog can be found at http://tavithenewgirlintown. blogspot.com/

Start your own blog with Fuji S100FS FInePix Digital Camera, £337.00 from simplyelectronics.net

Sound and 'in' Vision Steal His Style Jude Hull on emulating David Bowie's different personas for your own style changes at university ...

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This is one of the few pictures people are smiling, from thesartorialist.com, photographing chic New Yorkers

round control to York University, it's time to release the ‘Starman’ in us and embrace the iconic and idiosyncratic style icon that is David Bowie, or was that Ziggy Stardust, Aladdin Sane, The White Duke or Halloween Jack? Bowie, in his many forms, embodies eccentric, unconventional style that will see us through these dark winter days. Make like Bowie and embrace the inevitable ch-ch-ch-changes you'll go through at university by total style re-vamps whenever you feel like it. Through his stage costumes, Bowie exposes the ridicolousness of sticking to one signature style. Instead of just following fashion trends, we advocate creating your own personas and sticking to them.

Hailed as one of the true originals of his time, it is exactly this which we should seek to embrace this winter. A man that re-invented himself more times than Madonna, who says there is anything wrong with a little bit of dress up? No one denies that what we wear to a lecture differs from a night at Fibber's, so lets take it a step further and create our own Ziggy Stardust's for anything from seminars to socials.

Embracing not only his Aladdin Sane persona, we can find inspiration in many of his unconventional outfits, without standing out too much, or rath-

er as much as possible! Lycra is the order of the day, as much colour and pattern as achievable. Become a fan of American Apparels fanciful array of leotards or for the less body conscious among us why not try a Unitard? Anything glittery and bold that will scream Bowie. Substitute boring matt black for wet look leggingssee Top Shop for a great selection. Bowie–esque outfits are not for the shy at heart. There is nothing wrong with a bit of controversy: contrast shapes, high collars, outrageous shoulder pads or statement cuffs!

For the less adventurous, Bowie's Labyrinth character can be seen as a precursor to the new gothic trend.

Think the Adams Family but with more glitter! Team black sequined leggings with an oversized man's shirt - these can be found by rummaging through York's vintage haunts.

As students however, we don’t have a large disposable income, so why not customise your own outfit? Tailor old jackets with sequins, buttons and tassels! Or alternatively play around with your jewellery; necklaces as bracelets or bracelets as anklets. No Bowie inspired look would be complete without some eccentric make-up. Ditch the generic black liquid eyeliner its all about eye shadow. Experiment: eye liner under the eye, blusher

as eye shadow or even try out some face paint! Why not go all out with a bit of hair dye, burnt red is quite wintery after all.

This look is all about the attitude and confidence that accompanies it, there is no room for shrinking violets.

Proudly be recognised for your fashion oddity and put on your red shoes and dance at, well, where else? ... Ziggy’s!

Bright checkered tie from ebay.com, will go nicely with your hair

A more casual, student friendly take on Bowie's suit, American Apparel, £28

These leggings will almost look like a suit, teamed with the jacket, Topshop £18

For the more daring, go all out with firey orange hair dye from L'Oreal, £5.99

Crazy eyeshadow like this will get you noticed, mac £9.79

YORK VISION

LIFESTYLE

Tuesday December 9, 2008

21

STYLE

AGYNESS: DEYN AND GONE?

Helen Nianias interviews stylist and all-round fashion goddess Lou Winwood to understand that infuriatingly oxymoronic term: 'anti-fashion'...

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ith the ever-lingering hype surrounding Agyness Deyn, Alice Dellal, Henry Holland et al, surely fashion staples of '07/'08 rather than '08/'09, I have become increasingly frustrated and intrigued in equal measure with this so-called trend.

Watching T4’s Frock Me a few weeks ago, Henry Holland and Alexa Chung were kind enough to inform me that what I had seen as a quirky East London slant on dressing, or just a love of lycra, denim shirts and crazy patterns, is actually called ‘anti-fashion’.

Thanks for that.

The premise of this show was ostensibly to show us that dressing ‘alternatively’ is actually really super, as well as providing tips on how to dress ‘alternatively’ by copying people. Their website shed no light on the matter either, instead it told me "how to work anti-fashion," i.e. how to look like Sting’s daughter and Geldof ’s daughter. Super. Gushing things like ‘Pixie is just so great, isn’t she?’ and spouting verbal non-sequiturs of advice such as ‘how to channel antifashion this season’ (surely if it is anti-fashion it is not seasonal. Fashion is, by its nature, seasonal. But maybe I’m just old-fashioned). So, in brief, by dressing like these trendy young things we will apparently cultivate our own unique style. Err, thanks again.

None the wiser, I sought an 'insider' opinion. I turned to Lou Winwood, otherwise known as Amy Winehouse’s stylist and former style editor of Sleazenation. As she is also owner of ‘out there’ clothing shop I Dream of Wires off London’s trendy

Brick Lane in London’s trendy East End, I figured she would be able to explain how the 'anti-fashion' attitude to fashion came to be. It would be easy to dismiss the trend as entirely stupid and illogical and put the matter to bed then and there, but Winwood reminded me how exciting the presence of someone like Deyn, or even a House of Holland t-shirt would have been in a room of fashionistas dressed in their ubiquitous black a year or two ago.

"The parties all these people go to are so crap," says Winwood, "and are held in places like Bungalow and it’s not cool. They’re just full of rich people trying to be cool... They're generally atrocious." The image presented by Winwood, of a boring party full of tedious fashion types being rather taken by someone in a lycra zebra-print onesie, shows how basic the success of this image is: it’s newsworthy simply because it’s different to the fashion bubble of fake-tan and uniform black. Winwood expands on the media interest in the ‘anti-fashion’ craze in high-end fashion magazines, "they’re talking about lots of rich kids going to an art gallery event with Lord and Lady So-and-So, and they stand out. People like Agyness Deyn or whoever look different from everyone else at that kind of thing because they look like everyone else on Brick Lane."

Bearing this in mind, it makes sense that this quirky look is such big news. Despite the fact that many of the exponents of ‘anti-fashion’ are wearing the designer equivalent of a bin-bag, they still

manage to cut an attractive figure and make the look sellable. Winwood reminded me of the importance of fashion evolution when I asked if ‘anti-fashion’ was an actual thing. How can it represent a genuine antithesis to fashion if it is so fashionable? "Basically, a few years ago, a few of us would never have thought of wearing a baggy t-shirt with brightly coloured leggings and now they’re all over the high street," she rationalises, reminding me of the importance of fashion commerce. It is an industry, after all.

"Remember when we were wearing baggy tracksuit bottoms with g-strings hanging out? It’s just fashion moving on, not a separate thing."

Showing a genuine antipathy for the fashion world, stating that "fashion people have terrible taste in music," (perhaps a nod to Deyn’s ‘music career’ singing with Five O’Clock Heroes) and displaying little interest in the high street, claiming that she "doesn’t read fashion magazines," Winwood has decidedly divorced herself from the fashion pack.

She dresses like an 80s jogger completely unselfconsciously and with no 'fashion agenda'. Thus, the irony of expounding the virtues of nonconformist fashion in Grazia has not been lost on her. When halfjokingly asked if she had any recommendations for anti-fashion items she’d seen on the high street, she merely says, "look at your own body and your own face and work out what suits you." How delightfully anti-fashion.

AHEAD OF THE GAME? Pictured: Deyn, Holland, Dellal, Sting's daughter, Bob Geldof's daughter... But which picture out of our 'all star' line-up is of an average Joe, taken on Brick Lane two years ago?

FESTIVE FASHION FAUX-PAS Sian Rowe helps us break the Christmas style commandments...

E

very year the clothes-buying public are bombarded with gilded fonts and glossy photo spreads declaring that the festive time is the time for sequins.

Something that could only happen in a world where we are dictated by nonsensical hybrid-seasons that are the Autumn/Winter and Spring/Summer fashion brackets, Vision has dedicated itself to deconstructing the seasonal sparkle myth so you don’t have to (look like too much of an idiot).

MYTH ONE:

Men like sparkles. Sequins are fun. This means you are fun. Men like fun.

Let’s get this humdinger out of the way first. What women wear isn’t for men. It never should be, let alone in December when you’re already annoyed enough at every glossy deciding you probably can’t fit into any festive dress, let alone one that Sam in marketing would like. If you want a man who is easily distracted by sparkles then well done, your new lover is a sex-crazed cat. (If you’re a man who wants to wear sequins at Christmas time then you probably deserve a partner who will no doubt name your penis Tinkerbell to make it that little bit more exciting).

MYTH TWO:

It’s CHRISTMAS! First off, if you keep saying this you sound like Noddy Holder and should probably stop. May his curly bonce never be in fashion again. In normal climes sequins are a good thing. They brighten up dull outfits and full sequin dresses are a daring, and far subtler, alternative to just getting some more flesh out. Yet in the festive season it is hardly groundbreaking stuff. With the shops stuffed full of the things a night out can resemble little more than a room full of people squinting at each other as 1500 sparkling nipples bob up and down to Wham!

MYTH THREE:

You’re wrong! It’s SO this season!

This Autumn/Winter certain retailers seem even more determined to thrust sequins upon us. Don’t. Buying an item just for a month is a bit pointless. You’ll probably look better in something else. That trend is basically themed around looking like a circus. And last time we checked animal cruelty was neither festive nor fashionable.

YULE LOOK RIDICULOUS...

Hadley Freeman, in her eternal wisdom, sums it up for us: "Christmas style is an assualt on the senses."

However, if you've decided to ignore Sian's sage advice and go hell-for-leather this Yuletide, here are some sartorial suggestions. You might look like a 'half-cut barmaid', but you will be drunk. And isn't that the point anyway?

A glitterball bag? Only once a year, apparently...

Nothing says Accessorize, £27.40 Christmas like red. Moda in Pelle, £70

Big things in your hair: to hell with inhibitions!

Accessorize, £9.80 Teamed with a pair of 'sexy Santa' boots and mulled wine breath, an inoffensive dress becomes a Christmas classic, TopShop, £45

22LIFESTYLE

NIGHT-TRIPPER Joanne Rea braves the cold in the name of a good night out

YORK VISION Tuesday December 9, 2008

TRAVEL

TRAVELLERS' TALES

Liam Pope and Sam Bates give us two more continental comedy capers in the latest installment of Travellers' Tales

T

his week, Night-Tripper have braved the cold weather and ventured further north to the great northern city of NewcastleUpon-Tyne. We wanted to see if: 1) it is actually colder; 2) If the nightlife is really all its cracked up to be; 3) If girls do actually go out naked in the snow.

Well, to start off with, yes we think it is possibly colder, but marginally so don’t get your thermals out for one night out in the toon!

Secondly, is the night-life really all its cracked up to be? Wey aye man! Not only is there plenty of choice, but for a big city everything is within a reasonably short walking distance. The Gate complex caters for all needs with a wide range of bars in and around it. The once famous Bigg Market is now somewhere to avoid, as this is the area where girls walk around naked (which may appeal to some of you but not to us). If you wander just past the Bigg Market, those of you with more expensive taste can find your swanky cocktail bars, namely a new addition, Florita’s.

Now for the part you’ve all been waiting for, yes we’re onto the clubs!

Newcastle can be a very cheap night out if you just know where to go.

Digital, which is a two-minute walk from the train station, has two excellent nights. On a Monday night Digital’s 'Born In The 80s' night is very popular and why shouldn’t it be - all drink promos are 80p and it's 80p entry before midnight if you were born in the '80s! Digital also does another night called 'Stone Love', which is Newcastle’s ultimate indie night. It's £4 entry which is slightly steep, but it is worth it for the music. Another place where people mainly go for the music and atmosphere is The Cosmic Ballroom which is situated on Stowell Street in Newcastle’s China Town, handy if you’re hungry afterwards.

Ranging from alternative to drum & bass and techno, it has different rooms for different tastes. The best student night in Newcastle however, has to be at Liquid. Now, there may be many a Liquid club around the UK but the one in Newcastle is still quite new and exciting. It’s a bit of a walk but well worth it, especially on a Tuesday night. £1 entry and £1.20 for drinks all night and guess what the night is called? 'Skint'… quite fitting I’d say.

Trains are pretty regular and they only take an hour. Buying a single can cost as little as £5! Get yer sel away man!

Hungary: #1 in World Wankings I like to think that what we Brits have over our continental counterparts is our sense of decorum; our awareness of those little things that we can and can’t do when in public. During my travels around Europe I was party to a gaggle of incidents which made me question whether such a sense of propriety exists on the continent.

There was the incontinent Austrian man who was bizarrely allowed out of his catheter fitted rocking chair, the jolly Spanish hostel owner who we caught stealing excrement from the hostel toilets and the pair of sexually over zealous Slovenians whose incessant tonguing caused saliva to fly onto yours truly. Yet one incident sticks out in my scarred mind like a neo-Nazi in Bethnal green, it occurred in the usually tranquil surroundings of a

Our Protaganists ideal ionternet cafe Budapest internet cafe. Apologies to those who at the mere mention of the male sexual organ recoil in the type of rosy cheeked embarrassment normally reserved for an Irish pig farmer, for this story is a little phallically graphic. Yet my therapist has told me that writing is good for the soul, it lowers the stress levels, and this event still ways heavily on my tortured mind. So here goes...

It was one of those swelteringly hot days when the sweat dripping from between your bingo wings makes you feel like an inhabitant of Abu Ghraib. So seeking retreat we ventured into the air conditioned confines of said internet cafe. The clientele of these quintessentially European establishments was something that interested me greatly throughout my travels. You have your student types, much the same as in

Britain; they have designer facial hair, they wear those stupid hang off the head Professor Quirrel hats and have the type of constantly puzzled demeanour reminiscent of Stevie Wonder in a supermarket. Then there’s your continental career wives, all expensive trouser suits and skinny lattes, and then finally there is the object of our traveller’s tale. The only seat left in the packed cesspit was tucked away in the corner next to an aesthetically repulsive Magyar fellow. My first trivial worry was coping with the morg-like stench emanating from his person, but I was soon to come across far more nauseous aspects to this delightful fellow.

As myself and a friend took too our computers for the obligatory daily facebook log in, it became clear that our bearded friend had some rather different motivations for his internet drop in. Having heard the faint sound of mild grunting to my right I took the retrospectively unwise step of enquiring further into this aural disturbance. Plastered across the man’s computer screen was apparently legal ethnic pornography. I had literally never seen anything more shocking. I naively decided though that it must have been a pop up, because not even the most shameless of perverts would seek self inflicted sexual pleasure in a packed internet cafe.

Alas, I was wrong, the man next to me was what can only be described as ringing his semi erect penis. The wave of intense shock that I felt left me as speechless as Charlie Chaplin in a gimp mask. As I surveyed the vast computer ridden concaves something struck me, nobody was in any way as appalled as I was. So we are back to my lead point, that what I learnt from my travels is that some of our European buddies are little less aware of public decency. Spare me your internationalist rants for it is true, have you ever seen a man trying and failing to masturbate in public areas?

by Liam Pope

Polo a No-Go...

A

ll the best travel stories have an element of disaster in them. I hope I do not shatter the dreams of anyone who has the idealistic notion of taking a car around Europe, because this is a disaster story with an important moral: If you ever intend to travel in Europe, please just take a backpack!

It all started well. Our plan being to take three months to travel around most of Western Europe, along with the classic Eastern European stopoffs of Budapest and Prague. We cruised through France in one-anda-half weeks: Paris, Marseille, Aixen-Provence and Nice with a couple of other rural stops on the way.

We traversed Northern Italy via La Spezia, Verona, and reached the beautiful city of Venice. It was on our way out of Venice that it happened; emerging left onto a busy road we careered almost head on into an old Venetian man in his Fiat.

The car we were in, a much loved and cared for 17-year old VW Polo, seemed destroyed. Our breakdown

a dual carriageway, while one of us remained in custody to ensure we wouldn’t do a runner! It was I who volunteered to make this journey in the baking 35-degree Italian summer heat, and duly returned with the cash, half-an-hour later, gasping for breath, having worked up quite a sweat. After paying the fine we were free to go on, out of pocket, and without our transport.

We were now stranded in the region of Veneto (near Venice) with no idea what to do about our situation. We decided the best plan of action was to move on to Ljubljana, the capital of Slovenia (definitely worth a visit), by train whilst our car was towed to a garage near the crash site to see if there was any chance of a repair. The garage receptionist, incidentally, was possibly the most disagreeable and disobliging woman you would ever care to meet. She spoke no English, and we spoke only very basic Italian, which probably did not help matters. With the help of a kindly Italian-speaking friend of my travel partner’s family acting as interpreter by mobile, we managed to determine that the repair cost for our £250 car was going to be over £2000, which was ridiculous.

So, audaciously, we hatched the plan of purchasing backpacks, returning to the garage, and transferring as much of the stuff in the car’s boot into them and persevering

policy did not cover us, we only had third-party insurance and the damage was vast. The trip

seemed to be over.

Contrary to popular belief, the Italian Carabinieri were not ridiculously harsh to us, but our driver (who was not me, I might add, and will remain nameless!) was handed the blame and given a £100 fine, along with six “Italian points” on their licence. We were later told that this meant that two more serious offences in the next month would result in the licence being revoked in Italy for up to a month. Little wonder Italian driving is so notoriously bad then!

In order to pay this £100 fine (or $150) we were told that we had to use cash, which was more than slightly suspicious. Since we did not have it on us, the police said that one of us needed to run to the nearest cash point, over a mile away along

with the trip.

Disaster resolved, we carried on our journey by bus and by train, inter-rail style; it was definitely less stressful visiting cities on public transport, with no need to worry about parking, traffic or crazy road systems. So despite the excessive weight of our backpacks, and the loss of a car, we had a brilliant second half to the trip.

by Sam Bates

YORK VISION

SPORT

Tuesday December 9th, 2008

23

Vision focuses on York's most consistent club

SPOTLIGHT

T

HE POOL AND SNOOKER CLUB have consistently gained BUSA/BUCS points for York over the last few years. This was acknowledged in 2007 as the club were crowned York University Club of the Year. The last two seasons have yielded an aggregate of 120 BUSA/ BUCS points, comfortably the top aggregate of any club.

Despite this feat, membership has dropped from 56 last year to 34 this year as the club have been hit hard by York Sport fees. To play for the club you must pay the £40 charge to join York Sport even though the club use absolutely no University facilities. This shows as the club do not have many returning members despite barely being hit by graduations The club play their pool at the Cueball as it sponsors them and sorts out cheap tables while snooker and 9-ball is predominantly played at the Northern Snooker Centre in Leeds. Tied in with playing at the

POOL AND SNOOKER CLUB

NSC is the fact that coaching is available from there and will continue for the rest of the year so if you want to improve at potting the pink (or brown for that matter) then get down there.

Competitively, York put out three snooker, three pool and three 9-ball teams with five players in each.

The next time the club take to the cloth for some action will be the 12th and 13th of December in Solihull for some 9-ball action. This is not the club’s strongest event even though they expect themselves to fare well.

The club excel at pool and they are rated one of the best in the country going in to most competitions as favourites. This year’s first team consists of Steve Bradley (c), Mike Walsh, Luke Fleet, Greg Taylor, Neil Forster and Tome Wilson and is an extremely experienced side. It’s not just the first team that are top notch either as the second and third teams are ranked in the upper echelons in the country. They

SQUASH

MATCH REPORTS natural order > York men's maintain

BY ADAM LUKE > York women Met their match

BY ADAM LUKE

YORK MEN'S 1STS

3

YORK MEN'S 2NDS

0

THE SCORE line flattered York’s first team as they faced a stern test from their second string in a BUCS league match.

After the Firsts’ disappointing relegation last term following a number of key players graduating, they find themselves in the same group as their fellow Yorkers. But with a stronger side and a determination to return to the league above, the seconds could have been forgiven for expecting a whitewash similar to that of late October when the two teams last met.

The opening point went to the Firsts courtesy of James Birkhead’s 3-1 victory over Shaun Stubbins. After losing the first two games and becoming frustrated with his errors, Stubbins picked up a deserved win in the third only to be outclassed in the fourth by the stubborn Birkhead, who overcame his earlier inability to execute drop shots.

The undoubted game of the afternoon saw Seconds’ Matt Brennan face his First team opponent Paul Atkinson, which went the distance. Slow-

will be looking to prove that they belong at the top next term in Great Yarmouth.

Snooker have the same level of depth, with York and Warwick being regarded as a cut above however, the team struggle to compete at the very top level.

They will be looking to put this right when they next compete in the Midlands Cup in February and then in March at a BUCS event at the NSC. The average player is also catered for with there being weekly pool and snooker leagues with anybody being able to take part when registering at the start of the season. As well as the league, there is a huge pool knockout tournament with up to 80 people expected to play and a snooker cup debuting. The cost to play in either will be £2 so get your name down and give it a go. For anybody interested in this, training or coaching, pool@yusu.org is the email for you.

Matthew Brennan giving his all

tight affair between the Seconds’ first man Tim Maitland and Firsts’ captain Tom Davenhill. Long rallies were the norm as Davenhill had to work hard to put down the persistent Maitland, eventually winning 3-1 in an exhausting encounter. After the fixture, Davenhill appeared relieved with the result and was quick to praise the Seconds for giving an excellent account of themselves.

“The most important thing was to win 3-0 as we need all the points we can get to ensure promotion, and overtake leaders Newcastle. The Seconds did really well today. I think we were a little surprised, but it’s a sign of the club’s strength, especially considering the Firsts had two players out injured.

It has been a good afternoon for both squads.”

Atkinson struggled to cope with Brennan’s aggressive play losing the opener but resurged to take the next two games. However, Brennan would not lie down and took the fourth, leading the match into a deciding fifth game. Atkinson did ultimately triumph 11-5 against the brave Brennan; a player who failed to take a single game from Atkinson last time they met Two points became three in another

BUCS

BY MICHAEL

YORK WOMEN'S 1STS

1

LEEDS MET. WOMEN'S 2NDS

3

AFTER THREE WINS out of three, York’s ladies were hoping for further success against Leeds Met despite missing their top player Jess Hunter.

From the outset it looked an uphill task against opponents determined to catch the home side in the league table.

Leeds Met took the lead when York’s fourth seeded player Ciara Wilder failed to take a game from her stronger opponent.

Team captain Johanna Augustus was able to level the score in a close match between the third seeds, clinching victory in the decider 11-9. A similarly tight affair involved York’s Caroline Watchurst narrowly being seen off in the deciding game 12-10.

The final match saw first choice Lydia Vas Nunes attempting to earn the home side a draw. Despite winning the opening game, Nunes struggled to deal with Leeds Met’s impressive Sarah Wilson, who went on to win the following three games displaying a wide array of shots to hand Leeds Met the tie.

After the defeat, Watchurst made it clear how disappointed the side were with the defeat; “We are all disappointed with the result. It’s our first loss of the season and we really missed our best player today, losing against a team we should be beating.”

24 SPORT

YORK VISION

Tuesday December 9, 2008

ROSES

YORK ' S FINEST ATHLETES MAX HARDY (SPORTSMAN OF THE YEAR) The skier’s ambition of being the university’s first ever elite skier was further improved by winning the national indoor ski-cross.

LEE FISHER Lee is currently on a sabbatical having been accepted into the Great Britain development squad for Rowing. Despite only starting rowing in his first year, the 6”5 powerhouse hopes to compete in the 2012 Olympics.

This year's edition of Roses could not have been more gripping.

After racing into a solid lead, including an 18 point advantage on the final evening, York suffered an awful Sunday, snatching victory from the jaws of defeat after a last-gasp equaliser in the Men's Hockey match. The final score was 124-122 to the White Rose, and thus the first away victory in the competition for 7 years. It also swings the overall figures 22-21 in York's favour.

TABLE TENNIS

After a string of fine victories, York’s top wiff-waffers successfully reached the BUSA cup final.

Although eventually losing to Manchester, their run proved that the Table Tennis team are currently one of the best teams in the region.

VARSITY

Business as usual as inferior city neighbours York St John's were soundly defeated for another consecutive year. Though the result was a foregone conclusion, the passion and rivalry of this inter-city contest was only matched by Roses.

ZIGGY'S

How were our beloved Wednesday nights at Ziggy’s ever jeopardised? Salvation may have been the better option for sport funding, but the fact social secs and presidents gave up free booze to support Ziggys is a testament to the religious attitude many students have towards the legendary drinking institution. The Salvation sports night idea was quickly tossed into the proverbial gutter, after failing to impress punters with several empty promises.

DAVE ATTWOOD The Somerset-born bowls superstar almost made it on to BBC1 in the National Bowls Championships. Despite banter/ bullying from cruel housemates, Dave is training hard and hopes to break into the top 75 in the world next year.

PROMOTIONS VERSUS

Men’s Football 1sts Men's Badminton 2nds Mens Rugby 2nds Womens Basketball 1sts

HIGHS

SALVATION

and

LOWS

BY JIM NORTON

2008

SPORTS CENTRE REFURBISHMENT

Why, oh why, did the Sports Centre spend £1 million on redesigning the reception? Even the fake track next to the desk is better than the appalling puddle that the athletics team have to run on. And surely a radiator in the tent would be more helpful than a new office for the manager?

RELEGATIONS Men’s Basketball 1sts Women's Hockey 2nds Women's Football 1sts

"HOW MUCH?!"

only Gloucester hadn’t INITIATIONS Ifbeen quite so controver-

sial, the annual night of bullying, boozing and baring flesh wouldn’t have had to go underground, amid York Sport threats of bans. This year, excited and innocent new arrivals were treated to the usual nauseous, humiliating and downright disgusting challenges.

Sport at York has burnt a sizeable hole in many people’s pockets.

Merchandise, kits, membership for clubs, and the £40 price rise for AU membership has taken its toll on student budgets. It’ll never change, but we’ll never stop complaining!

YORK VISION

SPORT

Tuesday December 9th, 2008

TAKES A LOOK AT THE BUCS BIG HITTERS AND SLOW STARTERS

PROMOTION CONTENDERS BADMINTON MEN'S 1STS - DIVISION 2B Only one of two teams left in York with 100% BUCS records, winning five in the league and beating Bradford seconds 8-0 in the cup. There closest challengers in the league are Durham whom they have already beaten 5-3 but who they must travel to on the last day of the season in a potential winner takes all match. Led

by Will Wiseman the team have played impeccably so far and will be looking to end this term on a high at home to a Sunderland team they beat 6-2 last week.

LACROSSE WOMEN'S 1STS - DIVISION 2A

After four wins from five and a whopping 89 goals scored, it all comes down to a win or bust game against Sheffield tomorrow. Win and York can celebrate promotion, lose and the dream is over for another year. Sheffield are equally strong going forward having scored 90 in their five so York’s defence of Rebecca Chalk, Izzy Miller and Susannah Davis will have to stand strong and hope Helen Streeter can do the job down the other end.

RUGBY MEN'S 1STS - DIVISION 2B The season didn’t get off to the best of starts with their first game against Newcastle having to be forfeited as it was scheduled to be played before our term started. Since then the club have made up for this by winning all their three fixtures including a 105-0 spanking of Huddersfield and victories over the current top two in the table. Success has been down to strong units throughout the team including a back row of freshers who have fitted seamlessly into the team. Next term sees the team play a lot of games to catch up for postponements and the late start to term so fitness will be key if the promotion push is to materialise.

SQUASH MEN'S 1STS - DIVISION 3A In one of the stranger BUCS divisions, containing only four teams of which York have two team, the squash firsts are tied with Newcastle atop the league, needing to beat them next term to likely seal promotion. The York trio of James Birkhead, Paul Atkinson and captain Tom Davenhill have only dropped two points all term but will need to keep up this form if promotion is to be secured.

RELEGATION SCRAPPERS FOOTBALL MEN'S 1STS - DIVISION 2B The football teams Jeckyl and Hyde season continues as they sit second in the NUL and have progressed to the third round of the cup but are still winless in the BUCS league. A heart breaking 3-3 draw at Sheffield in which they led 3-1 going into the closing stages summed up their BUCS campaign.

A silver lining is that they still have to play Teeside twice, and a favourable draw in the BUCS Cup could give Witherwick’s men some added impetus in their league fixtures.

HOCKEY MEN'S 1STS - DIVISION 2B York sit at the bottom of the league, four points adrift from safety and without a point to their name. The team was hit hard by graduation with key players leaving all over the pitch, leading to a team of predominantly freshers. Tomorrow (weather permitting) sees them travel to Leeds seconds in a must win game as Leeds, along with St Johns, are realistically catchable.

HOCKEY WOMEN'S 1STS - DIVISION 2B Despite an amazing 24-0 demotion of Leeds Trinity and All Saints in the cup, York’s women are still winless in the league and second bottom having played a game more. In somewhat odd fashion, the teams main relegation rivals are the same as the men’s, York St John and Leeds seconds so face massive fixtures against these next term.

25

Desperate for extra cash? Just ask...

THE

TIPSTER

The Yorker's (unofficial) top tipster has moved his column to Vision to spread the gospel of gambling. So let’s get cracking...

Giant PROFIT NEW YORK GIANTS TO WIN NFC CHAMPIONSHIP

1/1

Plaxico Burress, the scorer of last year’s winning touchdown in the Superbowl, has been the only blot on the Giants' copybook so far in this impressive season. Believe it or not, Burress was out in a New York club at the weekend, carrying a gun, and managed to shoot himself in the leg with it.

It is quite frankly madness and he is now being charged with being in possession of a loaded firearm. Could you imagine Rooney, Cipriani or Pietersen getting in this kind of trouble? Thought not, but just because Burress shot himself in the leg, don’t expect the Giants to shoot themselves in the foot and lose their grip on the NFC.

MICK'S MEN WOLVES TO WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIP

7/4

After an incredible start to the season Wolves have already mustered 47 points from 21 games in a division which is widely regarded as one of the most competitive in the world. Any team can supposedly beat any other team on its day in the Championship, but somebody forgot to tell Mick McCarthey this as his team march on. The setback on Saturday against Q.P.R may have done punters a favour as a few doubts enter peoples minds and adds a bit more value to the odds. The team are on such a roll that star striker Sylvain Ebanks-Blake wants the current crop of players to become legends and have stands named after them... I think the lads shouldn't get too ahead of themselves.

The last two winners of the league have needed 80 odd points, so Wolves are well on their way and with January investment promised, I just can’t look past the Wanderers for the league title.

SINGING LES BLEUS FRANCE TO WIN 6 NATIONS

11/4

After England let me down so badly with my last furore into the world of Rugby Union, you won’t catch me backing them anytime soon. Wales were very impressive in their three matches against the Tri-Nations including a superb victory over the Aussies, but don’t count out France. Wales are very much the flavour of the month after their victory against the Springboks, reflected in the odds, so France will be better value closer to the tournament. The key to me is that Wales have to go to Paris and, even though they have a 50% record there in the Six Nations, I would back France to charge to victory, with a home crowd to roar them on.

26 SPORT

SPORTS SHORTS wicked WHISPERS Wednesday night w a s a rather embarassing night for one cricket player as the long haired, loud mouth was confused for a girl.

The bemused player replied that he was all man and that his was very fashionable, manly and above all, sexy.

odd socks Which Brian Blessedlike UYRUFC member recently deficated in his own socks after a particularily heavy night out?

His bender ended whith him throwing up on one half his bed, sleeping in the other before a team mate spooned him while lying in the sick. What I would give to be a rugby lad...

YORK VISION

COLLEGE RUGBY

BY CHRIS CRADDOCK COLLEGE RUGBY has gone from strength to strength in the past term and ambitious captains have pushed forward plans to create a college league.

Although beleaguered by constant obstructions, such as poor weather and low participation from some colleges; college rugby is slowly building support and could potentially be a major player in college points in the future.

Last years tens tournament was widely considered a success, despite the large amount of injuries. Many blamed the broken bones on beginners uneducated in how to tackle properly. Captains have corrected this situation by training their squads and ensuring team members have the correct protection. Reports from the first game, last weeks encounter between James and Alcuin, have been very positive and praised the level of rugby.

The three colleges who currently manage to field 15-a-side teams are Derwent, James and Alcuin. All of these are able to boast strong squads with plenty of depth and playing experience: Alcuin allegedly have 16 forwards available for games if needed!

Derwent president and rugby captain Joe Rankin is one man strongly in support of college rugby. He made the point that “the fact that you have three colleges with potentially 30 or so players, at a small university with a popular BUCS side, who have thus arranged their own matches, surely demonstrates that rugby at York isn’t doing too badly.” The only thing that seems to bother Rankin about rugby on campus is Halifax’s inability to field a team: “I suppose it is a little disappointing that a college the size of Halifax can’t get a side together”. He believes this to be a failing on the behalf of their sports reps, rather than any intrinsic lack of desire to play rugby. The official reason given for Halifax’s failure to deliver

dance with the devil Which ex-basketball player has been enjoying his Presidents weekend a bit too much and has been challenging the York locals to dance offs. Not content at just dancing against the boys, this MC Hammer wannabe attempted to dance with his opponent girlfriend immediately after. I don't know about you but I wouldn't wan't to upset the locals.

Got any juicy gossip or comments for us?

Email us at: sport@yorkvison.co.uk

impossible to play”, but there were other reasons. The unexpected weather had also prevented James’ team from training all week long, leaving them badly unprepared.

Nevertheless, Rankin contended that his Derwent side “were very much ready to play”. The key factor, however, was that James team president Alex Muntus had announced midweek that the fixture was postponed, thus making any U-turn impossible when the weather improved into the weekend.

We can see that at the moment rugby is doing quite well at York, in spite of the snow and ice. We have three very competitive colleges playing fifteen-a-side rugby. This is a vast improvement to a few years ago when there was no rugby whatsoever at college level. In the view of Paul Guest, president of Alcuin rugby: “Next term will see a big push for college rugby”, as the weather becomes less of a barrier and the prospect of other colleges joining the fray increases. This boost to the game seems to have been helped by the new committee this year; speaking for Alcuin, Guest commented: “They seem much more concerned with involving as many people as possible in all rugby”, which can ultimately only be a good thing. Overall, these fifteen-a-side forays are putting rugby in good stead on a campus level, and it looks like the game will certainly improve in the upcoming future.

NEXT MATCH: DERWENT VS ALCUIN SATIURDAY 12:45 Archbishop Holgate’s school Hull Road Jon Gore: Derwent's Isle of Man winger

UNIVERSITYWOMEN RESULTS DO BETTER THAN

bed mates Which prominent member of the football club recently took a girl home but declined to do things by the book and use his own bed, decididing to use his housemate's bed instead for his love making exploits. The same player apparantly parades around his house in his grubby kit.

a team this term was that their captain is overloaded with other responsibilities.

Rather than apathy, the only thing standing in the way of the rugby scene at the moment seems to be the bitter arctic weather. Though one match has been played - a nail-bitingly close 13-10 victory for Alcuin over James - last Saturday’s match between Derwent and James was called off due to bad weather. According to Joe Rankin, “ground conditions would make it

Tuesday December 9th, 2008

- MENS Badminton

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B Leeds 2nds 0-8 York 1sts, York 1sts 5-3 Durham 1sts, Sunderland 1sts 2-6 York 1sts.

BUCS Northern Conference 3B -Leeds Met. 2nds 6-2 York 2nds, York 2nds 4-4 Sheffield Hallam 2nds.

-BUCS Northern Conference 4B York 3rds 4-4 Hull 2nds.

-BUCS Cup 2nd Round York 2nds 7-1 Bradford 1sts.

Basketball

-BUCS Northern Conference 3B York 1sts 74-40 Newcastle 2nds, York 1sts 44-77 Leeds Met. 2nds.

-BUCS Cup 2nd Round York 1sts 59-101 Chester 1sts

Fencing

-BUCS Northern Conference 1A Leeds 1sts 131-115 York 1sts, York 1sts 111-135 Manchester 1sts, York 1sts 127-106 Bangor 1sts.

Football

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 0-1 Sheffield Hallam 1sts, Sheffield 1sts 3-3 York 1sts.

-BUCS Northern Conference 5B York 2nds 4-1 Newcastle 3rds.

-BUCS Northern Conference 6B Sunderland 4ths 2-1 York 3rds, York 3rds 0-0 Sunderland 3rds.

-BUCS Northern Conference 6D York 4ths 3-10(ten) Leeds Trinity and All Saints 3rds, Teeside 5ths 0-3 York 4ths.

-BUCS Cup 2nd Round

York 1sts 3-0 Northumbria 2nds, York 3rds 0-6 Northumbria 3rds, York 2nds 0-5 Leeds Met. 3rds.

Golf

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 1.5-4.5 Newcastle 2nds, Sunderland 1sts 3-3 York 1sts.

Hockey

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B York St John 1sts 3-1 York 1sts, York 1sts 2-0 Durham 3rds.

-BUCS Northern Conference 5B York 2nds 5-1 Sheffield 5ths, Sheffield 4ths 4-0 York 2nds.

-BUCS Cup 2nd Round Durham 3rds 4-0York 1sts.

Lacrosse

-BUCS Northern Conference 1B York 1sts 13-2 Durham 1sts, Northumbria 1sts 8-9 York 1sts, York 1sts 3-10 Sheffield 1sts.

Rugby

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 105-0 Huddersfield 1sts, Leeds 2nds 6-8 York 1sts.

Tennis

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 0-10 Sheffield 1sts, Northumbria 1sts 6-4 York 1sts.

-BUCS Northern Conference 4B York 2nds 8-2 York St John 2nds.

- WOMENS Badminton

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 0-8 Sheffield Hallam 1sts, York St John 1sts 3-5 York 1sts, York 1sts 8-0 Huddersfield 1sts.

Fencing

-BUCS Northern Conference 1B York 1sts 91-86 Bradford 1sts, Durham 2nds 115-130 York 1sts.

Football

-BUCS Northern Conference 3B York 1sts 4-3 Leeds 2nds, Newcastle 2nds 3-0 York 1sts.

Hockey

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B York St John 1sts 2-2 York, York 1sts 0-2 Durham 2nds, Sheffield 1sts 3-0 York 1sts.

-BUCS Northern Conference 4B York 3rds 66-5 Hull 3rds, Sheffield Hallam 3rds 19-12 York 3rds.

-BUCS Northern Conference 6B Leeds Met. 4ths 0-1 York 2nds.

Squash

-BUCS Cup 2nd Round Sheffield 5ths 3-2 York 2nds, Leeds Trinity and All Saints 0-24(twenty-four) York 1sts.

-BUCS Northern Conference 3A York 1sts 3-0 Northumbria 2nds, York 2nds 0-3 York 1sts, Northumbria 2nds 0-3 York 2nds.

Table Tennis

-BUCS Northern Conference 1A York 1sts 8-9 Manchester 1sts, Teeside 1sts 0-17 York 1sts, York 1sts 15-2 Northumbria 2nds, Northumbria 1sts 6-11 York 1sts.

Lacrosse

-BUCS Northern Conference 2A York 1sts 23-0 Sheffield Hallam 1sts, Northumbria 1sts 2-28 York 1sts.

-BUCS Cup 2nd Round York 1sts 6-4 Leeds 2nds, York 2nds 2-8 Sheffield Hallam 2nds.

Volleyball

BUCS Northern Conference 1A Liverpool 1sts 0-3 York 1sts, York 1sts 3-0 Sheffield 1sts, York 1sts 3-0 Manchester 1sts.

Netball

-BUCS Northern Conference 4B York 1sts 31-25 Teeside 1sts, York St John 2nds 12-29 York 1sts, Sunderland 1sts 34-29 York 1sts.

-BUCS Northern Conference 5B York 2nds 39-22 Teeside 2nds, Newcastle 3rds 29-6 York 2nds, York 2nds 38-10 Bradford 1sts.

-BUCS Northern Conference 6B York St John 3rds 26-14 York 3rds, York 3rds 43-38 York 3rds, York 3rds 41-29 Northumbria 4ths.

-BUCS Cup 2nd Round York 1sts 55-2 Sunderland 2nds, York 2nds 3921 Sheffield Hallam 3rds.

Rugby

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 0-17 Sheffield Hallam 1sts.

Squash

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B Newcastle 2nds 1-3 York 1sts, Northumbria 2nds 0-4 York 1sts, York 1sts 1-3 Leeds Met. 2nds.

Tennis

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B Newcastle 2nds 5-5 York 1sts,York 1sts 7-3 Leeds 2nds, York 1sts 6-4 Sheffield 1sts.

Volleyball

-BUCS Northern Conference 2B Sheffield 2nds 3-1 York 1sts, York 1sts 3-2 Bradford 1sts, York 1sts 0-3 Leeds Met. 1sts.

YORK VISION

SPORT

Tuesday December 9th, 2008

OPINIONS “The overall focus is for the benefit of York Sport - especially in the current financial climate, even the big clubs will struggle to get their current levels of sponsorship. Some of the sports clubs have got none at all. By unifying sports clubs, having one logo and one set of colours to represent the product, hopefully Alex will be able to go out and secure major sponsorship across the board.”

THE MOTION:

WHAT'S HAPPENED:

The motion for the new badge was voted in with only two clubs voting against it. However, clubs were not keen on bearing the logo as the solo crest on their kit as it made no mention of the University of York. A compromise has since been reached; clubs must bear the crest on their kit but can have their own club

FOR:

ADAM CLARK YORK SPORT VICE PRESIDENT

“I think it’s good that Lacy wants to integrate the small clubs but this shouldn’t be to the detriment of big clubs. It seems that it is the big clubs that are giving and compromising in order to benefit York Sport. I feel frustration towards Lacy, not anger, but I feel this whole episode could have been handled better with more communication.”

BLACK AND GOLD KITS

YORK SPORT BADGE York Sport has a new logo and will be uniformly worn by all the teams.

Alex Lacy believes that if all the clubs bear the crest then it would make it easier to sell York Sport to a universal sponsor. The thinking behind having no mention of the university is that the “Student Union organises sport, the university does nothing”.

AGAINST: Few big clubs believe that having all kits bear the crest would make any difference to a sponsor and would only serve to harm the traditions of the clubs.

The fact that there is no mention of the university on the badge angered clubs as they do not play for York Sport. Teams have no emotional attachment to York Sport, they play for their team mates, the club and the university.

27

THE MOTION: All teams should play in black and gold kits.

WHAT'S HAPPENED: Lacy promised clubs could opt out of the kit change meaning there was no point in a vote. Since then the York Sport committee has pushed through the motion and made the change of colours compulsory, without clubs being able to vote. The change won’t be immediate however and will gradually be implemented.

FOR: The main objective is to improve York’s marketability towards sponsors.

Everyone wearing the same colours could be an impressive aesthetic for potential sponsors looking to sponsor York Sport as a whole rather than individual teams. Lacy also believes that “teams that come out in the same kit look more professional and get better results.”

AGAINST: Excessive costs of replacing kits is a major factor for clubs already in debt.

Teams like football have traditionally played in white and feel that the clubs tradition and integrity is being jeopardised by the forced change.

- forum farce analyses the potential consequences of the proposed changes.

JAMES SMALLWOOD RUGBY CLUB PRESIDENT “We were expecting another York Sport forum in order to discuss the idea of a University-wide strip. Although squash play in black and gold without a logo, we do however feel more negotiation was required with sports clubs as the strip is compulsory. We would therefore encourage York Sport to contribute towards the changeover, or accept team kit costs when deciding on next year’s club budgets.”

JENNY WHITE SQUASH CLUB PRESIDENT

?

THE FUTURE

SPONSORS

THE MOTION: An overall sponsor for York sport, rather than individual clubs having their own.

WHAT'S HAPPENED: The motion was discussed at the forum with an opt-out clause being introduced for clubs with rolling sponsorship. York Sport is currently in the process of looking for a universal sponsor.

FOR: Universal sponsorship could benefit smaller clubs who may have struggled to find a sponsor previously. Deloitte currently sponsor several university clubs but may have to scale down their campus presence depending on the credit crunch.

Sponsorship could inject some stability into clubs fragile budgets.

AGAINST: Some clubs feel that they work incredibly hard to gain and increase sponsorship. Both Rugby and Riding club have increased their funding through sheer persistence.

A universal sponsor would help clubs less interested in sponsorship, whilst hindering those that do.

NEW CONSTITUTION A new constitution is currently being drafted by York Sport secretary Harry Collins. The details are yet to be announced.

CLUB LIAISON OFFICER Rugby President James Smallwood has recently pushed for a new position to be made on York Sport in which clubs could have more communication with the committee. With all the reforms taking place, many clubs are losing their autonomy. This new position would hopefully make clubs feel that they are having a legitimate impact on York Sport policy.

“At the moment the York Sport committee is very cliquey and unaccountable, people can just walk into positions (with many candidates running unopposed last year) yet have so much power of the clubs and players. This potential new position would make up for the loss of autonomy and let clubs have an impact on issues which primarily affect them” said a passionate Smallwood about the prospective new position.

Tuesday, December 9th 2008

2008 P24 HIGHS AND LOWS Rugby 1sts beat Teesside

Issue 193

FORUM FURY THE BADGE

THE VISION

Netballers record first BUSA win

P23 SPOTLIGHT ON...

POOL AND

SNOOKER CLUB

P26

COLLEGE RUGBY: The story so far...

THE FUTURE?

?

SPONSO R

SHIP

BY MICHAEL SNEDDON & JIM NORTON PRESIDENTS and players alike were left furious after the first ever York Sport Forum.

As Alex Lacy outlined his vision for the future, mutterings of discontent led to a tense debate. The motions proposed triggered a backlash and several clubs have formed an alliance to try and communicate to Lacy more effectively.

The forum attempted to discuss: the brand new crest, kit colours and a university wide sponsorship deal. However, the meeting has widely been accepted as farcical. Few-

> Meeting to discuss proposals

> Lacy upsets presidents er than half of the university's clubs represented themselves resulting in motions not being voted on. The forum was designed to give the clubs constitutional power, but many felt it was used as a platform for Lacy to show and tell the clubs he was running York Sport his way.

Every motion instigated negative reactions from those present. The new badge does not feature the words "University of York," and instead is emblazoned with the words "York Sport." This angered many who believe they play for their club and their university, rather than York Sport.

Lacy also stated his intention for all clubs to play in black and gold. This particularly riled the football club who traditionally play in white and have since been allegedly threatened with budget cuts unless they change their strips for next season.

Universal sponsorship was also met with discontent.

Clubs expressed concerns over rolling sponsorships and the fact that smaller clubs could potentially gain a lot more than bigger clubs.

VISIONSPORT: YOUR #1 SOURCE FOR ALL SPORT

VISION ANALYSIS Page 26

Continued on p. 25.