York Vision 217 - Scene

SCENE

News

ED FRANCIS REVEALS ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND GOSSIP FROM THE MUSIC INDUSTRY

Hot weekend prospect

Lives Are A Losing Game

JUST DAYS after her career hit what has been described as an all-time trough during a show in Belgrade which saw her being booed off the stage by frustrated fans, Amy Winehouse has cancelled the remaining dates of her European tour, stating that she is “unable to perform to the best of her ability.”

The gig in the Serbian capital marked the beginning of Winehouse’s tour, and drew much attention from the press after attendees reported that she appeared too drunk to perform, “stumbling across the stage and at one point throwing her microphone to the floor.” The fallout from the event was so considerable that hotel staff at the stops on every date the Back To Black starlet was booked for were placed under strict orders to ban alcohol from her room.

Winehouse’s name emerged again in the headlines this week as her ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil was arrested for burglary in an attempt to feed a heroin habit. Yes, yes, we know it’s the most clichéd joke in the world, but in both cases… time for rehab?

FANS OF intimate performances from headline artists have been handed a treat by the organizers of the Glastonbury festival with the announcement that the Strummerville charity will be returning to the festival for acoustic campfire sessions every night from Thursday to Sunday.

A tradition initiated at the festival

by Clash legend Joe Strummer himself, Strummerville will be situated at the guitarist’s memorial stone for the week, and though no word has yet been released on which bands will be playing, a cursory glance at the line-

up from last year (which featured Mystery Jets and Frank Turner) suggests that big names can be coaxed out to play round the fire for fortunate fans.

igniting trouble again IN A remarkably ironic twist of fate, R Kelly is back in court yet again after former manager Jeff Kwatinetz accused him of failing to pay him a commission - while he was in court standing trial on child pornography charges.

According to Kwatinetz, over the past few years he has been responsible for guiding Kelly through "the recording of two new albums, substantial multi-million dollar tours...a book deal, and a myriad of other appearances and events", work for which he claims he was denied a considerable amount of compensation. He is now seeking damages amounting to a mil-

lion dollars as a result of sustained incidents of "breach of oral contract and fraud."

Given Kelly's history of unreliability and brushes with the law, we can only assume he has potential replacement handlers queuing up at his door.

What Katy Did...

A

fter storming onto the music scene with 'I Kissed a Girl' in 2008, Katy Perry has maintained a tongue-incheek approach to her music and image.

With the release of her sophomore album Teenage Dream in 2010, her music videos have become more and more unpredictable. For 'California Gurls', Perry took an Alice in Wonderland-style trip into a world which Willy Wonka could only dream of making, laying naked on a candy-floss cloud, wearing a cupcake bra that squirted out cream, and freeing other California Gurls from being trapped inside giant jellies. The video for 'E.T'

was eagerly anticipated by fans after the rather ordinary ones for 'Teenage Dream' and 'Firework'. In the video Perry becomes a visual treat, with a range of costumes, makeup, and headgear that look both futuristic and

fascinating. Perry's latest offering, 'Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F)', was highly built up and anticipated prior to its release.

Perry revealed that it would star Kathy Beth Terry, the 13-year-old nerd character that she created for the Teen Choice Awards which she hosted in the summer of 2010. To create hype for the release Perry, created a Facebook and Twitter page for her alter-ego, letting fans feel more involved in her creative life and adding a personal touch.

The social-networking craze has allowed celebrities to both get closer to their fan base, and increase it by allowing glimpses into their personal lives beyond the stories printed in newspapers and magazines. Through Twitter and Facebook, fans can actively interact with their icons, with the possibility of receiving a response.

Terry's accounts often post photo-shopped images of Perry's alter-ego in various amusing scenes, such as replacing Kristen Stewart's image with that of Terry in a Twilight: New Moon poster, or transposing her head onto Gaga's meat-dress

Southern charmers AS IF any lingering doubts existed over the country-boys-come-good roots that the band have avowed since the day they broke onto the UK music scene, the mythology of Kings of Leon is reported to have been finally confirmed with the release of Talihina Sky, a documentary charting the four-piece blues-rockers’ career trajectory in intimate and occasionally hectic detail.

Featuring scenes of the Followill clan fighting, heavily drinking and sporadically vomiting, the film elaborates on the pentecostal upbringing experienced by the band and the internal tensions and trials they have faced over the past decade. The balance of darkness and comedy has led bassist Jared to liken the film to 1984 satire This Is Spinal Tap, claiming “I don’t get how they got that film so perfect.

You’d think the actors were in a band.”

Vision is currently unsure, in light of this statement, who exactly it was we saw at Glastonbury three years ago.

JASMINE TARMEY discusses Katy Perry's use of social networking as a publicity tool

wearing image, or doing the same for Captain Jack from Pirates of the Caribbean; the list goes on.

Perry furthers her use of internet trends by giving the viral-video sensation Rebecca Black a cameo in 'Last Fri-

In E.T. she may play a futuristic alien, but in real life perry is a futuristic artist. day Night', ironically as the hostess of the wild party Perry's song is about. Black's overnight popularity has made her a target of internet abuse, but Perry provides her with a boost by including her in the video, alongside stars from Glee and classic ‘80s movies. After Black's 'Friday' appeared on YouTube she catapulted to instant notoriety, but being famous for poor lyrics and an amateur video was probably not her desired outcome. Perry's inclusion of Black is a move of comic genius the teenager had already shown an ability to laugh at herself and attempt to brush off the criticism through a Funny or Die video response to her own song, and her role as the “partyin’, partyin’” teenager living next door in Perry's video cements

the young singer's easy-going air.

Black transforms Perry from nerdy to glamorous (including waxing off an invisible-to-everyone-else moustache, and the clichéd glasses-removal), allowing her to have the wild night she will regret the morning after, in which she’ll undergo a wardrobe malfunction then throw up in a roller-skate. The Friday night Perry depicts may be an emphasised stereotype of a house-wrecking high-school party, but it is still an amusing visual treat.

The use of social networking and internet phenomenon to create hype and popularity for a single is not innovative in itself, but Perry takes it to new levels by creating profiles and communicating with fans through her video's alter-ego.

She even converses with her 13-year-old nerdy self through Twitter, to make the fake account appear more real. While Perry's music can be labelled as predictable and generic pop, her persona and marketing strategies do set her apart from her rivals in the genre. In 'E.T' she may play a futuristic alien, but in real-life Perry is a futuristic artist, using the popular trends and mediums to stay one step ahead in a fast-moving business. This California Gurl is definitely “fine, fresh, fierce” and “unforgettable”, and it will be interesting to see what move she makes next.

CLARENCE CLEMONS

SINGLES

Will Cooper salutes the saxophonist and icon

B

ruce Springsteen, Clarence Clemons' long-time fellow band member and close friend, described the loss of the ‘Big Man’ as "immeasurable". Clemons' death on the 18th June 2011 from complications after a stroke he suffered about a week ago has visibly shaken the music world. It is indeed almost impossible to fathom the E Street Band without Clarence Clemons and his magnificent contributions on songs like 'Thunder Road', 'Jungleland' and 'Badlands'. Indeed, the friendship Springsteen and Clemons shared was so strong that to see Springsteen on stage without his trusty partner will strike an unhappy chord in any music lover's heart.

Born in Virginia, Clemons originally wanted to be an American football player, but after a car accident these plans were permanently scuppered - to the great benefit of the musical world. After a dramatic meeting with Springsteen on a supposedly rainy and windy night in New Jersey, Clemons immediately became an integral part of Springsteen's vision.

Clemons' saxophone playing became a hall-mark of Springsteen's records, and gave life and soul to his celebrated live shows.

Clemons is himself quoted as saying that after he and Springsteen first jammed, they both "just knew we were the missing links in each other's lives." It was a truly telepathic understanding, and it is difficult to overemphasise the importance Clemons had

to Bruce Springsteen. After keeping faith with Springsteen through his first two commercially unsuccessful albums, Greetings From Asbury Park and The Wild, The Innocent And The E Street Shuffle, Clemons was key to the success of Springsteen's real breakthrough album, Born to Run, and the LP's album artwork really epitomises the power of their partnership, as Springsteen leans coolly on the back of his great friend.

The ‘Big Man’ was a success in other areas too, away from the E

Street Band. He formed his own band, Clarence Clemons & the Red Bank Rockers as well as providing saxophone on Aretha Franklin's hit single 'Freeway of Love'. He also had forays into the film industry, starring in Martin Scorsese's film New York, New York. His life was a varied and inspiring one, but he will be most fondly remembered for, in Springsteen's words, allowing the band "to tell a story far deeper than those simply contained in our music."

The affection held by the entire music world for Clarence Clemons has been evident in the outpouring of grief from a number of famous names. Bono of U2 paid tribute to him during a gig on the day of his death and Bon Jovi covered the classic E Street number ‘Tenth Avenue FreezeOut' just the day after. But perhaps even more significantly, it has been the reaction of the general public, the people for whom Clemons wrote his solos, that is the most moving. Everywhere you look there are messages of sadness, but also gratefulness, for a man who will be greatly missed and who will leave a great 6'5" gap in the E Street Band and music universe more generally.

VISION's YouTube Picks of the Week...

JP Cooper Keywords: Oh Brother

Thriller (a cappella) Keywords: Duwende

Cooper has an exceptional voice and this is showcased in this video of 'Oh Brother'. With him on guitar, he's teamed with the double bass and three backing singers, adding to the quality of the video.

Though you might initially struggle to believe your eyes, six-piece a cappella band Duwende manage to faithfully recreate the classic track using only their voices. Covers of 'Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough' and 'Rock Your Body' are equally impressive.

John Lennon Keywords: Mother Lennon needs very little introduction and this song seems to encapsulate all the tragedy that he experienced in his brief life. The lyrics question his relationship with his parents and towards the end he almost pleads for their affection, worth a watch.

Dave Mustaine Cat Keywords: Mustaine Cat You didn't think we were going to run a regular column about YouTube without eventually featuring a clip with a cat doing an impression, did you? Well, here's that one. And it's absolutely brilliant, since you asked.

Look, it's only 40-odd seconds long, just work with us here...

HANNAH VOSS reviews the latest releases...

Frankmusik ft. Far East Movement Do It In The AM

T

his latest single from the album of the same name marks a step up and away from Frankmusik’s previous material.

The British synth-pop artist has produced an LMFAO-style dance anthem centred around drinking and dancing ("Lick it up, Lick it up/Drink tequila ‘til it’s gone"). Far East Movement's contribution consists of a verse of glossy rapping, which adds another dimension to the track. The single is catchy and slick - a perfect blend of pop, electro and dance.

Anna CAlvi Desire

I

t would be accurate, but perhaps a little insulting, to compare Anna Calvi’s music to Florence & The Machine. They both share the same deep, lusty voice, the almost tribal-sounding drums and the choral-like backing vocals, but at the same time, the utmost passion and fervour with which Calvi sings are comparable to no one. The track starts slowly and builds up to huge, crashing choruses that perfectly fit with Calvi’s husky voice. 'Desire' comes from Anna Calvi’s self-titled album and reached number 40 in the UK charts.

The Japanese Popstars Joshua

'J

oshua', from Controlling Your Allegiances, starts with atmospheric synth and the unmistakeable vocals of Editors’ Tom Smith, building into a crescendo of layered drums and a rich sound that complements the lyrics: “Our behaviour turns like an ocean.” Despite this, the vocals are definitely the best bit of the track without such a distinctive voice the song could be lost among all the other bland electro tracks out there. Having said that, Controlling Your Allegiances is tipped to be packed full of big guest names, meaning the album could be successful, if not on the Popstars’ merit alone.

Jason Derulo – Dont Wanna Go Home Lemme Smang It Keywords: Yung Humma Is this a joke? Or the most tragic thing you've seen on the internet to date?

Either way, with his fierce moves and lyrics about his "smash-bang fusion", Yung Humma is clearly a very brave man with very little to lose by embarrassing himself for your entertainment.

T

he first noticeable thing about this song is, of course, the classic ‘Jason Derulooo’ that opens each of the American singer-songwriter’s tracks. The second is the rather interesting sampling, starting with Harry Belafonte’s ‘Day-O’, and merging not-quite-seamlessly into famous house track ‘Show Me Love’

by Robin S. In theory, there’s nothing wrong with this track, but the beat seems to tread along at a slow pace, and this, combined with Derulo’s overproduced crooning gives the song the disjointed feeling that it never really gets going.

REVIEWS...

Emmy The Great

The Pierces

Virtue

You & I

Y

ou & I, the fourth album from altfolk duo Catherine and Alison, has been described with a degree of accuracy as the Pierces minus the, erm, pierce. The prickly lyrical content and occasional spiky minimalism which characterized earlier works such as Thirteen Songs of Love and Revenge has indeed been blunted somewhat in the band’s latest offering. No doubt this is partly due to the influence of Coldplay’s Guy Berryman as the album’s producer, who has been instrumental in shifting the band’s sound away from country and towards Stevie Nicks-esque pop.

Does this make it a worse album? Not by any stretch of the imagination. To begin with, You & I is tonally a perfect progression from some of the outfit’s last outing; if Thirteen Songs was a sonic reflection of the bitter red mist that flares up immediately after a breakup, then this album marks the weary acceptance that sets in afterwards.

There is also much about You & I to recommend in terms of production.

Beautiful harmonies drift around tight

melodies and hooks complemented by shimmering guitars. Even though this approach only really fires up the adrenaline when matched up with touches of grimy bass on tracks such as ‘Love You More’, on the gorgeous ‘Close My Eyes’, they achieve the swelling majesty of Smashing Pumpkins at their best as overdubs and shaker-enhanced beats all converge.

Indeed, despite the lower premium placed on venom throughout the work, in ‘I Put Your Records On’ it’s not difficult to see who Catherine Pierce is taking aim at; her ex, Albert Hammond Jr., actually features on the album, and lyrics like “it'd be a tragedy for anyone that was your girl/Because the saddest part is/You want the love of all the girls” hit close to home. Lush sounding then, and yet equally sincere and challenging, it’s not difficult to imagine that the sisters Pierce may have finally cracked the formula for mainstream success in sounding more West Coast than deep South.

ED FRANCIS

Patrick Wolf

P

nervingly beautiful chorus that dissolves into angelic chorale.

First Love proved that Moss can write a good lyric, but it is the development of her arrangements that really impresses. ‘Dinosaur Sex’ may be flippantly named, but boasts a subtle arrangement, with echoes of the Velvet Underground, that builds to an impressive climax. Single ‘Iris’ boasts a characteristically well-crafted melodic arc, and makes an asset out of Moss’s stark voice, its fragility and precise diction perfectly contrasted with driving drums and reverberating guitars.

Raw piano ballad 'Trellick Tower' provides a dizzying climax, with Moss’s yearning painfully palpable in a closing question (“can I spend my life trying to climb you?”) that could move even the iciest listener. With Virtue, Moss dismisses the Difficult Second Album cliché with embarrassing ease.

Emmy the Great has come of age, and the result is spine-tingling.

RACHEL PRONGER

Bon Iver

Lupercalia

art David Bowie theatrics, part macabre troubadour, Patrick Wolf is an unpredictable presence. After the dark electro dance of The Bachelor (2009), Lupercalia sees Wolf in an altogether more light-hearted mood, embracing the lush orchestral pop epics that defined the cheerier parts of Wolf ’s most famous release Magic Position (2007).

At first listen the problem with Lupercalia is that the singles are just too damn good. ‘Time of My Life’ is about as close to perfection as a four-minute pop song can get, all soaring strings and irresistible crescendos. ‘The City’ and ‘House’, are similarly impressive, intelligent and flamboyant 1980s synth-pop. Unfortunately, these gems are followed by the weakest track on the album. ‘Bermondsey Street’ is fine, a perky brass-inflected vignette, but following the indefatigable melodic juggernaut ‘House’ it sounds underpowered, and (whisper it) even a bit Lloyd Webber.

Thankfully this is an album that benefits from multiple listens. ‘The Future’ starts a little weakly with bland lyrics about “kissing chlorine in the swimming pool” but boasts a pretty chorus and eventually wins over the listener with a soaring choral inflected climax. The driving beats and eu-

F

rom the moment ‘Dinosaur Sex’ kicks in, with a shimmering soundscape of cymbal rolls and sonic wails, it is clear that Emmy the Great has changed. Emma-Lee Moss’s 2009 debut First Love was well received but its child-like melodies meant that it was dismissed as another twee addition to the London anti-folk scene. For those who were unconvinced by First Love, Virtue is a revelation, a second record that builds upon and surpasses its predecessor.

Virtue is an album cut through with heartbreak, which is unsurprising when you learn that it was written after Moss’s atheist fiancé converted and left her for God. Lyrics have always been Moss’s strong point, and Virtue addresses big questions. This is an album saturated with religious imagery.

‘Creation’, a variation on Genesis cut through with sauntering guitar and sonic howls, seems preoccupied with questions of divine will and describes a narrator constructing the world using a checklist. ‘Paper Forest (in the Afterglow of Creation)’ addresses love and faith directly, with Moss’s assertion that she is “blessed amongst all women” strangely at odds with an un-

Bon Iver

phoric refrain of ‘Together’ are shamelessly feel-good, topped off by more lush string arrangements and (just in case you weren’t convinced) an operatic counter-melody. It is the perfect example, along with ‘Time of My Life’, of just how effective chamber pop can be, like a more restrained Rufus Wainwright (if you can describe any musician who poses for their sleevenotes with a boa constrictor round their face as restrained).

Perhaps Lupercalia is at its most interesting when Wolf attempts to reconcile his new-found perky pop with his older, darker sound. The slight but intriguing ‘William’ has hints of Bjork, while ‘Armistice’ is a Wind in the Wires-style dirge disguised as a glossy pop song, shot through with timpani and dark allusions to “the children of the city”. This fusion of slick, well-crafted pop with orchestral excesses and sinister lyrics sometimes jars, but it is ultimately what renders the album so intriguing. By the time ‘The Falcons’ ends with an unstoppable refrain of “looking up up up for love” the listener is well and truly won over.

RACHEL PRONGER

B

on Iver has returned, three years after the release of his critically-acclaimed debut album For Emma, Forever Ago. Having participated in several collaborations, perhaps most notably on Kanye West's most recent record, the direction of his latest album was a source of speculation. The sound has, in fact, developed rather than strayed from that of his first album, with a more refined band sound as oppose to the acoustic feel, allowing for more depth of sound.

The opener 'Perth' (each track bears a geographical theme) starts with a faded, distant sound before a marching snare-drum drives the song on to a triumphant, more extroverted sound, setting a tone for the rest of the record. Justin Vernon's use of layered, textured vocals is evident, and teamed with a greater ensemble of sounds from strings, horns and keys, ‘Perth’ flows seamlessly into

'Minnesota, WI'. A couple of the tracks - like 'Calgary' - delve into an almost soft-rock sound at points, possibly alienating some of Bon Iver's fans, but they work well within the context of the record. The album continues to impress and explore different aspects of sound and theme, and with several listens the depth of the production is revealed.

Another theme explored is escape, and this is evident in 'Holocene.' "Third and lake it burnt away, the hallway/Was where we learned to celebrate" Fans of For Emma, Forever Ago may find this album a little superficial initially, but further listens will reveal a certain depth to the record. Bon Iver demonstrates all that Justin Vernon does best, just in different surroundings - textured vocals, and outstanding production with overall inviting sound.

STEPHEN BARBAGIANNIS

Tugging on the Heartstrings

ED FRANCIS'

ED FRANCIS TALKS TO FRANKIE AND THE HEARTSTRINGS ABOUT THEIR NEW ALBUM, SUPPORTING FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE AND DEXY'S MIDNIGHT RUNNERS

I

’ll admit without embarrassment to having not known what to expect prior to interviewing Frankie Francis, frontman of Sunderland-based indie rock band Frankie and the Heartstrings.

The band have had considerable success with debut album Hunger following it’s release in February (“we never thought it would chart and it was a great moment when it did” is Frankie’s own exuberant verdict.) Despite this, and the overwhelming hype they have received from outlets such as NME since making their first forays into the mainstream (“it’s nice that they find us interesting” is the singer’s again-modest view), it’s difficult to discern much about the band’s origins. As some would have you believe, it’s almost like they were born directly onto the music scene, their brand of sincere indie pop sounding box-fresh and original enough that pigeonholing them to exact influences might seem a little reductive.

Not that there aren’t any possible points of reference that can be drawn out from a careful listen to their first release.

Indeed, perhaps it would seem more accurate to describe the Heartstrings as a group that draw the lion’s share of their freshness from their energetic dedication to the revival and dusting-down of a forgotten-about sound. The full-throated chanting, jangly riffs and brisk drumming patterns have led some to see them, for example, as this generation’s answer to Dexy’s Midnight Runners. Though I initially worried the comparison might offend Frankie (thoughts of the airings that track gets on Heart.fm and in York’s less hygienic nightclubs at the front of my mind), he appears more than comfortable with it; “Dexy’s are a great band and if we get compared to them that’s great, in fact I would like more brass in our songs sometimes”, he reflects.

Perhaps a more flattering parallel could be drawn with the currently on-

hiatus outfit The Cribs, whose diamondedged, thudding brand of indie pop laid much of the groundwork for a genre revival that Frankie and his group seem to be continuing today. The spirit and directness of Hunger bears many of the hallmarks of the former group’s seminal Men’s Needs, Women’s Needs, Whatever. Yet whereas the Jarman clan often veer more towards raw punk aesthetics, the Heartstrings are all about style and

"We never thought the album would chart and it was a great moment when It did" flair... No matter what Frankie’s formidable quiff might suggest, however, the Heartstrings do not represent another attempt at a Smiths revival either, no matter what some critics have inferred from the romanticism of their approach. Quite simply, Frankie himself appears to suggest that even he doesn’t have a clear picture of who exactly he wants to be judged against, instead seemingly preferring to want his outfit’s work to be assessed entirely on it’s own merits. “It’s good to get press for the right reasons”, he succinctly states, rather than for coming across as the next best imitation of a classic sound.

If the band are hard to judge by their influences, however, it’s perhaps more straightforward to judge them by their friends. In their years on the touring circuit to date, the band have already supported Florence and the Machine and the Kaiser Chiefs.

When I inquire if, in the former case, the group felt the pressure of opening for a singer who was taking off at such a stratospheric pace in the second half of 2009, Frankie laughs it off: “great exposure, but no pressure as we had nothing to lose and everything to gain” is his assessment.

Even more enjoyable, he claims, were the dates performed with the Kaisers, a “great bunch of lads and true pros” to whom Frankie and his Heartstrings owe a lot of their success in creating a stir to date.

Another bedrock of the consolidation of their fan base has been the staggering opportunities the band has been handed to play in front of large audiences since their breakthrough. After only two years of playing together, Frankie and the Heartstrings were handed the chance to play at festivals including Glastonbury, Reading & Leeds and Latitude, and this year they’re set to do it all again. Even more significantly, the band has also shown astuteness in the way they’ve baited out fans online. The use of their own label Pop Sex to release a string of giveaways to their audience has helped them sustain the tantalizing excitement around them generated by the early media attention directed their way.

Well-hyped then, held up in comparison with some classic bands, and chummy with some of the big names in the UK. Surely Frankie must have a plan mapped out for the next stage of domination of the indie scene? Perhaps. The wiry frontman keeps his cards close to his chest when telling me about what’s coming up in the future; he does leave me, however, with the tantalizing promise of “new material that’s gonna rock your world and mine” Something about Frankie’s blend of elusiveness and confidence assures me that the group’s next release really will be one worth hyping...

CROSSOVER

BITCH G

wyneth Paltrow is a woman who possesses considerable instrumental ability, lyrical flair and a marvellously keen ear for melody. Unfortunately, however, all of these traits are invested in her husband.

In terms of her own contributions to the musical world, by contrast, Paltrow’s offerings have been reminiscent of everything else she has done in her life: generally, strikingly bland. Take her website GOOP as a point of comparison: folksy, twee, generally inoffensive but just plain unnecessary, pitched primarily at the undiscerning and the tenaciously middle class. Much the same can be said about her track ‘Country Strong’, first given a live airing at the Country Music Awards (where I’d end up eternally after passing on from a life of hard drinking, massive embezzlement and nun-killing). Her style is so beige and nondescript that it was only once the performance had ended and someone shouted “Gwyneth Paltrow everybody!” that I realized she’d even been there at all - which is odd considering I had consciously searched out the video of her performing it on YouTube.

Paltrow epitomizes everything I dislike about actors and actresses who arbitrarily decide to become musicians. No one was clamouring for her to release an album, no one was pleasantly surprised when she did, and no one wants her to continue. She is perhaps in this respect much like Scarlett Johansson; yes, it was all very cool that she wanted to do some Tom Waits covers, and yes she didn’t end up doing all that bad a job of it, but was anyone truly left convinced after giving Anywhere I Lay My Head a few spins that she was doing it for any reason other than that she could?

The pitfalls of crossing the line from the set to the recording studio are hardly universally suffered - look at Zooey Deschanel, who’s quiet dedication to channelling her notable talent into excellent tracks with M. Ward without making any undeserved attempts to generate a mainstream buzz has brought her considerable critical respect from more left-field publications such as A.V. Club.

But for every Zooey there is a Gwynnie or a Jennifer Love Hewitt. An on-screen star or starlet who takes the completely unfounded decision to release an album with no grasp of even the most basic fundamentals of how to make it stimulating, interesting or listenable. It will always end up in a general outbreak of cringing suffered for everyone involved and it will pretty much always blow over. Indeed, in many cases it even makes more sense to go the other way and send some artists packing to Hollywood because music just isn’t their game - not that I don’t miss Marky Mark Walhberg and the Funky Bunch, you understand…

LIVES...

THe Blockheads

18/06/11

Fibbers, York

A

creative mix of blokey gumption and ballsy lyricism, The Blockheads' distinctive jazzy funk is an enjoyable experience live. Reformed after the tragic death of their lead singer Ian Dury in 2001, The Blockheads graced the stage with a new line-up, fronted by the peculiar but wildly entertaining Derek The Draw.

A band of very few words, when they came to the stage, the bass guitarist said: (imagine a cockney accent) "We are the Blockheads and we go a little something like this". The next moment Fibbers was infected with a rhythmic salvo, a funky concoction that people could not help but dance to - I even found myself having a little boogie in the corner. Their music was amazingly catchy, upbeat and quirky. The

atmosphere in Fibbers was buzzing with excitement (and copious amounts of alcohol); I don't know what it was, but I think the mix of cheap cider and the slick reggae-infused tracks made people lose their inhibitions.

Songs such as 'Mr Love Pants' and 'Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll' had the crowd, consisting for the most part of middle-aged adults, feeling rather frisky. For example, there was a couple in front of me that was feeling the music a little bit too much, if you know what I mean. I felt like I was at a party rather than a gig. All formalities were thrown out of the window - everyone was comfortable and loving the music.

However, I must stress that as well as their ability to make the audience feel quite shameless, The Blockheads are a talented bunch of musicians and the intimate setting of Fibbers really enhanced this. They played with an unrivalled technical skill that was both dynamic and sensual to the ear. The Blockheads are fun and bubbly, and I highly recommend them. But if you do happen to see them just be prepared, you might lose some of your innocence and dignity - like I did.

MORGAN COLLINS

Boyce Avenue

12/05/11

The Cockpit, Leeds

B

oyce Avenue are three brothers who became popular over YouTube for their covers of chart hits, but the band have now become much more. This year saw the trio take their covers and indeed their own music on tour in the UK for the first time, and I was lucky enough to see them in Leeds.

This was certainly one of the smallest gigs I’ve ever been to; with just over 200 people in attendance, but on this occasion, size really didn’t matter. The crowd was simply buzzing with excitement, all eagerly awaiting Boyce Avenue, and the band certainly did not disappoint their fans.

Some may knock them for their choice of songs. But having risen to fame through the power of YouTube, I thought they did the right mix of the covers that made them so popular with a selection of their own music, from their latest album All We Have Left. Opening up with songs such as Katy Perry’s 'Firework' and Taio Cruz’s 'Dynamite' defiantly set the tone for the evening and they had the whole crowd singing along to their acoustic repertoire.

However, my personal highlight of the evening was their encore. Performing their newest single ‘Hear Me Now’ really ended the evening on a high, and despite the small numbers hearing the chorus echo and bounce off the ceiling throughout the building was incredibly

music@yorkvision.co.uk

PARKLIFE MANCHESTER

M

anchester: famous for toptier football, high levels of torrential rain, and the largest student population in Europe. So when Parklife Weekender, 2011 - Manchester's unofficial end of exams celebration - came along, I guess it's no surprise that it was done big.

The line-up successfully aimed itself at the general spectrum of student music tastes, boasting a good range of DJs and indie acts. Exciting niche options such as Kode 9 and Broke N English complimented big name chart-toppers Chase & Status and Mystery Jets to create a glorious festival atmosphere. With eight acts playing at a time, the spread of choice was often fuller than you'd get in August.

The price tag, though - under £70 - hurt less than normal, bucking the trend of the typically pricey mainstream-music festival. This is due in part to the lack of camping options, so you will have to stay at a friend’s or a hostel if you plan to go to next year's festival. Still, the party atmosphere of Manchester's student centre Fallowfields adds the engaging dimension you may fear could disappear with the loss of camping. Plus, you get a shower, a bed, and the potential for clubbing afterwards.

Parklife 2011's highlight act has

L

VICKY MORRIS

got to be Grandmaster Flash. A founding father of hip-hop, his energy at the youthful age of 53 is immense.

An absolutely brilliant DJ, Flash also pleased the crowd with his own classic hits and as a member of the Sugar Hill Gang. He mixed in some dubstep, R&B, and classic soul, with turntablescratching to match no other (a technique he pioneered, remember).

For you indie-heads out there, Two Door Cinema Club played a wonderful set to close Saturday's antics. You could continue your night after the gates closed, however, ending up at one of the countless house parties that evening. Ultimately, no northern city other than Manchester could create such a stunning studentfocused event. And York is perfectly positioned (£22 away to be exact), for a jaunt at the end of the academic year.

My advice? Go next year if you can!

ADAM COE

EE

TS S U M N'S

vISIO

york university choir and symphony orchestra york minster

powerful.

The only thing that disappointed me was the support acts (Hannah Trigwell and Nick Howard) - they left a lot to be desired. Although both very talented, they didn’t get the crowd going, and the atmosphere was virtually dead as they sang. Maybe they were simply not my cup of tea, but I have to admit I was very much stood there waiting in boredom for the headline act to arrive.

That said, overall the gig was everything I was expecting and more. I am always dubious to see bands like Boyce Avenue live, for fear that the atmosphere and stage presence may be lacking in order to be entertaining, but in fact, the intimate gig really exceeded my expectations and I would love to see them again.

11/06/11- 12/06/11

ast Wednesday saw York Minster packed with both performers and audience for the annual collaborative performance by the University Choir and Symphony Orchestra. This year the spotlight was on Mozart’s ‘Mass in C minor’ and Beethoven's ‘Symphony No. 9 in D minor’. The collective membership of the two ensembles verges on 400 - an impressive number of performers for two very impressive works, performed in an even more impressive building. The overall result, while not faultless, was impressive and very successful.

The evening started off with Mozart’s ‘Mass in C minor’. The orchestra (led by Dharmesh Mistry and conducted by Peter Seymour) truly captured the essence of the work and along with the choir and soloists (Marina Theodoropoulou (sop), Cara Curran (mezzo sop), Joshua Elicott (tenor) Roderick Williams (bass)) provided aural delight for the audience. That being said, there were times when the performance failed to fully engage with their audience, but it was never long before the choir managed to reel them back in and engulf them with their musical magnificence and downright power. Usually much can be said about Mozart’s Mass, but unfortunately in this case it paled in comparison with what was to follow

22/06/11

in the second half.

Beethoven’s 9th is definitely not a piece to be taken lightly. As well as being a considerably serious piece it is one of the more familiar classical works, even to the non-classically trained. For a work with such public acclaim and recognition, expectations were high, and the choir (including soloists with the addition of Rachel Nicholls (sop)) and the orchestra both rose to the challenge admirably. Ode to Joy is the only movement to feature the choir, with the orchestra superbly taking control of the three preceding movements. Despite such minimal writing for voice, the choir were certainly not overlooked in this performance, making a powerful entry and handling Beethoven with great enthusiasm and success, filling York Minster.

This was yet another successful and enjoyable collaboration of two of the university’s largest musical ensembles.

BEN WALKER & LUCY WALLER

Bright lights, small city

Rock 'n' Roller Disco C

Vision’s Girl About Town goes undercover to update you on all the goss from last week.

W

elcome back Vision readers, it’s your Girl About Town here, ready to give you an update on all the goings-on this past week. And what a penultimate week of term it’s been!

No doubt the highlight was the YUSU Summer Ball on Wednesday, a huge success by all accounts and, in an unprecedented turn of events, a night that saw all the scheduled acts turn up. Headliners The Subways tweeted after the ball that “York uni was ace,” while Dionne Bromfield posted that “all the girls in their prom dresses are looking fab.” Darwin Deez played it cool, only using the hashtag “#highspirits”.

Tuesday saw the RAG folk out in force, dressed in hippie garb. While I have it on good authority that RAG as an organisation are complete and utter lash monkeys, it’s good to see that they don’t let socialising get in the way of their charitable spirits - everybody I spotted on the social was wearing their Woodstock t-shirt proudly, and accessorising with flowers and face paint.

Also hitting Salvo on Tuesday was the James College Bar Crawl, while Vanbrugh and Goodricke went head to head on Thursday.

Thursday night also saw the infamous YUM awards, far and away one of the most important events in the student-media calendar, where free alcohol and dodgy chants were plentiful. Vision was very proud to snap up both photography awards as well three trophies for best critic, best interview and best debate.

Thankfully, tensions between societies didn’t result in a full-on brawl like last year (we do hate to waste police time) but, as always, there were those unlucky few whose dignity may have fallen out of their handbags in the taxi home.

Enjoy your Summer holiday readers, I'm off back to Kensington in search of an icecold Manhattan and an Iranian businessman.

Wish me luck!

alling all children of the ‘80s: if you thought that roller discos were confined to the embarrassing past of your parents, think again.

The humble roller disco is making a comeback, and winning over fans throughout the country with its retro charm.

To the seasoned York student, already well-versed in the best that the ‘70s and ‘80s have to offer, the roller disco isn't too much of a leap into unfamiliar territory. In fact, we have somewhat of an advantage. For every ‘80s classic we hear on repeat in a Wednesday evening, we'll have a dance move to go with it. And why confine yourself to doing the Cha Cha Slide on your own two feet, when putting it onto four wheels is a lot more fun?

Any opportunity for students of York to dress up is one that is swiftly taken up, and roller discos are without doubt the last word in fancy dress. Some of the skating costumes I saw would give

even the most imaginative sports social a run for its money. I had thought my crocodile-print gold leggings couldn't fail to be a winner, but on hitting the dance floor, I had to accept defeat in the face of some of the more seasoned skaters. You cannot come away from a roller disco without a reaffirmed belief in the possibilities of neon and lycra, and I was well and truly blown away by some of the more creative endeavours, Elvis being a particular highlights.

To the adventurous among you, the possibilities for roller-disco fun are almost limitless. Once you've mastered the basics there's a whole world of skating formations and patterns to be explored, with which you can dazzle your fellow skaters. During one song, my friends and I definitely stole the show, performing the Macarena in a strong Vformation.

A certain level of fitness is required if you want to keep up with the best of them. The three hours we spent on the

dance floor did more thigh-toning than any gym workout, and you'll feel the muscle pain the next day. But on the positive side, there's no denying that you'll have earned your Efes at the end.

Yes, providing people with alcohol and roller-skates in the same package is somewhat irresponsible, but it's no more dangerous than Reflex's revolving dance floor, and a whole lot more fun. I defy even the most sceptical not to be won over.

Superfunkdisco.com put on roller discos nationwide.

EMMA WALKER

CALLING THE SHOTS! ELLIE WALLIS and ANNA FIELD take a look at some new ways to pre-drink Made in Chelsea Drinking Game

Jeremy Kyle Drinking Game

Are you a fan of the most amazing ‘reality’ TV series ever made? Here’s one for the Made in Chelsea lovers (courtesy of Facebook):

Watching day-time TV student-style? Why not throw in some vodka when watching your favourite trashy programme?

1. One finger every time Gabriella mentions Ollie.

2. One finger every time there is an awkward silence.

3. One finger every time Caggie pouts.

4. One finger every time Ollie mentions his hair, or Binky lies.

5. Down your drink when Spencer says he has been in love with 'x' for 6 years.

6. Down your drink when Funda is angry.

7. Bonus shot if Funda slaps Caggie - two shots if Caggie slaps Funda.

8. Waterfall continuously while Francis flirts with a girl who's out of his league.

9. One finger every time Cannes is mentioned.

10. One finger when Binky says something stupid.

1. One shot whenever Jezza says "You're scum", "Be quiet" or "You're an utter disgrace".

2. Keep drinking as Jeremy rants about "young men sitting on their backsides" robbing us of our taxes. Take a shot if he finishes with "this is what's wrong with this country."

3. One shot when Jezza shouts "Listen to me! LISTEN TO ME!" 4.. Take a shot when a guest on stage looks like they should NOT expanding their gene pool. On the rare occasion a normal person is on stage, down it.

5. Shot when Kyle pops in the phrase "Should have put something on the end of it."

6.Shot if the guest storms off, moves furniture or have to be separated by security.

7. Drink the duration in seconds the number of pints an alcoholic claims to drink per day.

DON'T MISS...

Friday, Saturday and Sunday, Week 10 The Big Feastival Day tickets now on sale for the Clapham Junction Festival featuring acts such as Athlete and the Guillemots. Grab your friends, hop on a train and kick start your summer!

Thursday, Week 10 Wednesday, Week 10 Ziggy's!

Last Ziggy's of term. Enough said.

Little D If you don't have a ticket for Big D, fear not, you can still come along to Derwent during the day for food, games and music.

nightlife@yorkvision.co.uk

FILM Last week saw the release of Ryan Reynolds' biggest film to date, Green Lantern. Let's see what led him here...

H O T

Adventureland Adventureland went widely unnoticed on its release in 2009. It's a true one-of-its-kind, for those that prefer their comedy deadpan, thought-provoking and set to an '80s soundtrack. Our Ryan has a relatively minor role as a sleazeball married man who hits on the high-schoolers - he's a kind of antagonist to hero Jesse Eisenberg in his angsty attempts to win Kristen Stewart's heart, and he is perfectly cast here.

RYAN REYNOLDS-O-METER

Definitely, Maybe

C O L D

This rom-com is a step above the rest of its genre, which still isn't that much of a compliment.

Still, it's an original idea, and its a step-up from director Adam Brooks's previous effort Wimbledon. Reynolds plays a likeable sap, and his acting is as effortlessly credible as in Adventureland, proving beyond doubt his range of playable characters.

Buried Despite critical success, this 2010 release essentially documented a wooden box's attempts to contain Ryan Reynolds' bristling biceps. The concept is a good one, and in the right hands it could have worked, but Buried ended up feeling a little try-hard. Kudos to Reynolds, though, for almost pulling off being the only onscreen actor for an entire movie.

y n i a l l Vi

W

ielding a heady mix of spandex, chiselled jaw-lines and upper-body strength, superheroes are conquering the world (of cinema) today. Male superheroes, equipped with ironing-board abs and million-dollar mansions, are models of masculinity, while their female counterparts have become sex symbols, somehow managing to fight crime in killer heels without losing their balance.

But all this universal adoration is going to their heads. We should fear for our safety if another DC Comic adaption comes out - the combined inflated egos of our heroes could cause the Earth to spontaneously combust. The solution?

Supervillains. They could be the antithesis to the superhero scourge and our saviours. But how does one become the most villainous of villains? What makes someone a worthy adversary, ready to knock heroes off their perches? We’ve come up with a handy check-list for you to consult.

1) First, you need to find the source of your villainy - most heroes become

The Proposal The Proposal wasn't a bad movie. It was quite funny - in an obvious kind of way - and was quite well-written, in a hamfisted kind of way. Its problem was its utter lack of originality, from the worn-out plotline to the distinctly average performances from Mr Reynolds and his co-star Sandra Bullock.

'super' from freak accidents, but villains have to be far more imaginative. The Joker needed no radioactive waste, only face paint and an ingenious use for sharp pencils. Take this into account if you’re an aspiring villain but a bit strapped for cash – you can source your powers from the kids' section of WHSmith, being evil and terrifying all while staying in your budget.

2) When you're terrorising the world, it's pretty vital that you have a well-defended base to retreat

to, otherwise it's only a matter of time before some vigilante in tights batters down the door of your hired hotel room and puts a stop to your nefarious deeds.

At the estate agents’, try to choose a venue that best reflects your villainous personality: Are you a slightly egotistical introvert? Find a deserted island with a volcano shaped like your head and set up base - not only does it look impressive, but the heat generated by molten lava could cut costs when the gas bill comes round.

3) Lastly, while most villains advertise themselves as misunderstood loners, remember that this is not an attractive or powerful image. Like Batman needs Robin, a villain needs a henchman, if only to drive the getaway van while you lean out the window cackling madly. Break the mould and choose one with a decent collection of brain cells - many a criminal has been toppled not by a heroic foe but by a gormless goon. Be warned.

Follow these three simple rules and you will find yourself a bona fide super-villain - feared globally, with the power to vanquish the threat of the super-hero’s ego. If all else fails, you could just commit horrific crimes against humanity and provide inspiration for another Summer blockbuster.

SPORT CINEMA

James Stavrakakis counters the sports film stereotype and recommends his favourites

Blade: Trinity In this third instalment of the vampire series, Reynolds plays alongisde Wesley Snipes as exvampire Hannibal King. Released in 2004, it's his first major role, and it shows - he's unsure and forgettable, and looking at the characters he's played since, he seems quite badly cast. Unless you're a fan of the first two, or the comic-book series, this should be avoided.

Sick of the arrogant, knowit-all super-heroes gallivanting around Hollywood, Alysia Judge has found the perfect remedy: an easy three-step guide on how to be a baddie...

S

ports films are often criticised for being cheesy and predictable. It’s true that, for the most part, there’ll always be some degree of hammy moralising, and it’s also true that almost all sports films follow the reliable path of underdog overcoming setbacks and triumphing against all odds. Rather than a cause for criticism, however, this should be seen as one of the highlights of sports movies – the simple feel-good factor when the downtrodden underdog wins over the cocky opponent. It is, however, what is behind this feel-good factor that makes these films so great.

Sports films look closely at people. They show people going beyond their capabilities; they show the resoluteness of the human spirit, and through this they move the viewer. I defy

anyone to watch Touching The Void, for example - a true story of two climbers who defeat every conceivable obstacle put in their path - without being struck by the indomitability of human nature.

Good sports films go beyond the game; they examine the context of sport, and its effects on those involved.

The greatest sports films, ironically, are those that show that the game is not what is important. Take Rocky, perhaps one of the greatest sports films ever made. It doesn’t really matter that Rocky (spoilers!) loses the fight, since the film is about an average Joe achieving his dreams – not about the importance of winning. Remember The Titans, a film about a segregation-era American football team, shows how sport can cut across racial divides to unite and inspire people.

Friday Night Lights, meanwhile, looks at the pressure placed upon high-school athletes in America.

If you’re still not convinced, watch The Express, the story of Ernie Davies, the first African-American to win the Heisman trophy. Set in the 1950s, the film delves into the race issues of the time. Or go for Ali, the Will Smithstarring Muhammad Ali biography that looks at the icon’s turbulent career.

It is clear that the popularity and importance of sport make it a great medium through which to explore wider issues. Every film mentioned is an example of this premise and all are well worth a watch.

The latest Ryan Reynolds-starring comic-book adaptation is visually impressive, but Sarah Green is reluctant to give it the green light

Dir. Martin Campbell

I

n Green Lantern, the latest of many DC Comics adaptations, Ryan Reynolds plays the eponymous lead role, known to friends and family as Hal Jordan. Hal’s just an ordinary pilot until he comes across a superhero's ring, which grants him the ability to wield extraordinary powers, and also gets him membership to an intergalactic group of superheroes known as the Green Lantern Corps. This group of heroes, sporting the predictable aim of vanquishing evil, are about to face their most threatening challenge yet, as Hal faces the ultimate test of accepting the responsibility now bestowed upon him.

The film is good-humoured, aided by Reynolds excellent comic timing. With its vivid imaginativeness and inter-galaxy setting, Green Lantern could easily be compared to last month’s Thor. The incorporation of 3-D technology is actually effective for once, enhancing the action scenes - but the Corps’ home planet of Oa seems overproduced, and vastly inferior to that of Thor's.

The special effects, as expected with a Hollywood blockbuster of this size, are excellent, but are often relied on to carry a scene, and cannot compensate for the films drawbacks. The plot is typical of many comic-cum-film adaptations, with the expected twists, turns, heroes and villains. At times, the film's allusions to the legends surrounding the Corps are exasperating, but director Campbell tries to poke fun at the mythology rather than wallow in it. A potential issue for comic-book adaptations is the abundance of bad guys in the original comics that screen writers have to squeeze into a two-hour slot.

The Dark Knight, starring the Joker and Two-Face, pulled it off, and Spider-Man 3 was moderately successful in cramming two evil leads into one film. It didn’t really work in Green Lantern.

Reynolds’s acting talent was welldisplayed in last year’s Buried, but this film is a step-down in terms of acting

Bridesmaids

Singin' in the Rain

But did you know....?

• Almost $160,000 of the production costs went towards costumes (that’s well over a million in today's money) • Donald O’Connor had to practise for days to get the somersault off the wall just right • Singin’ in the Rain launched Cyd Charisse’s career, turning him from a specialty dancer into a household name • The final script was written after the songs were decided; Comden and Green had to develop their storyline around them

Bad Teacher

Dir. Paul Feig

K

British Summer is upon us, and by that we mean literally upon us, falling on our umbrellas from a skyline of rain clouds. So if you're stuck indoors, what better way to pass the time than to watch one of Hollywood's greatest musicals, Singin' in the Rain (1952).

prowess, despite the versatility he’s shown by taking it on. His chances of being taken seriously aren’t really helped by copious amount of semi-nakedness (admittedly, no complaints here). Reynolds does not portray Hal as a guy that is easy to root for: he has very little personal development or redemption. Despite great chemistry between Reynolds and Blake Lively (love interest Carol), she seems little more than an attractive bit part, and doesn’t add much to the film. In essence, with a clichéd and bland script, the cast did not have a lot to work with.

Overall, Green Lantern was enjoyable, but pales in comparison to recent super-hero releases.

It lacks that je ne sais quoi that makes a film memorable: the special effects are decent, if overdone, and the humour is somewhat childish. Predictability and two-dimensional characters do not help matters, nor does a script that falls flat when the action scenes finish. Verdict: catch it on DVD or TV, there are far better films out in the cinema.

risten Wiig plays Annie, a young woman charged with being maid of honour to freshly-engaged Lillian, played by Maya Rudolph. The film follows Annie’s trials and tribulations as she arranges everything from the wedding shower to the bachelorette party.

Annie’s life is a mess. Her bakery business has failed, leaving her broke and stuck living with some truly grotesque British flatmates. To make things worse, Annie’s love life is pitiful; she’s romantically involved with rich ignoramus Ted (Mad Men's Jon Hamm), who refers to her as his “number three”.

The other four bridesmaids are just as interesting and likeable. Fighting-obsessed Megan is outrageous and down-to-earth in equal measures, and manages to steal most of the scenes. Helen (played by the gorgeous Rose Byrne) is Lillian's new best friend, and drives Annie mad with her saccharine smiles and flawless behaviour.

Wide-eyed newly-wed Becca and party animal Rita complement this perfect ensemble.

What strikes most about director Paul Feig's creation is the earthy and slapstick humour. The film empowers women by, absurdly, making them as silly as their male counterparts (the film was billed as the “female Hangover”). It is a movie with a great deal of sweetness and heart, but with a lot of bawdy humour too. Bridesmaids certainly proves that when it comes to comedy, there is no real gender gap.

KINGA OGIEGŁO

Dir. Jake Kasdan

C

ameron Diaz is at her best as the vulgar, foul-mouthed Elizabeth Halsey.

She’s desperate to find a husband to support her and, as the title suggests, she’s not exactly suited to her job. Cue scenes of her turning up to class hungover, high or drunk (something that many of us have often undoubtedly wanted to do at work, but would never get away with).

After being dumped by her wealthy boyfriend, she sets her sights on squeakyclean substitute teacher Scott Delacorte, played by Justin Timberlake, who does a convincing job of being intentionally obnoxious and unappealing – a surprising but well-suited role for him. At the same time, Halsey exploits her pupils to raise enough cash for a boob job, while slacker gym teacher Jason Segel - a brilliant addition to the film, though disappointingly not used to his full potential - tries to hit on her.

As a result, she pits herself against superperky rival Amy Squirrel, portrayed by Lucy Punch, who makes it her mission to get Halsey fired.

The humour is understated, yet effective, without the reliance on slapstick or overly offensive jokes typical of so many comedies. Instead, Diaz’s sarcasm and the often shockingly crass jokes are a breath of fresh air, as we are finally given a comedy that is both original and entertaining.

JASMIN WILLIS

COMING TO A CINEMA NEAR YOU

Dirty Dancing: Watch the sizzling '80s romcom at Brandy Brown's cinema in Bar 1331 this Saturday at 7.00pm YORK CITY SCREEN 28/06: Love's Kitchen - Only showing for 6.15pm one day at City Screen, so see this culinary rom-com tonight or not at all!

30/06: The Cherry Orchard - Chekhov's 6.45pm masterpiece, streamed live from the National Theatre BRANDY BROWN'S, 1331 BAR & RESTAURANT 01/07: Never Let Me Go - Make the most 7.00pm of this chance to catch the criticallylauded romantic sci-fi 02/07: Dirty Dancing - classic in 1987, a 7.00pm classic now - watch it if you're still around on Saturday

film@yorkvision.co.uk

N O I S I V TELE R A E Y E H T F O S T H TV HIGHLIG

've had a look we on si Vi at re he , us on up year With the end of anotherofunfeirings to bring you the very best and worst of 2011 back over the year's TV

H

ere it is, the moment they've all been waiting for. That's right, it's Vision's TV highlights of 2011. Forget about the BAFTAs, this is the one they all want. Let's not waste any more time - here are the winners and losers for this year, as well as the bits we'll remember forever, and the moments we'd rather forget.

TV EVENT OF THE YEAR THE ROYAL WEDDING (BBC) Whether you loved it or loathed it, it must be admitted that the most anticipated and talked-about moments of the year was the broadcast of Kate and Will's nuptials. Though I feel the broadcast itself dragged on bit, you cannot deny that the wedding itself was absolutely beautiful, from the Sarah Burton dresses to the perfectly-placed kiss at the balcony of Buckingham Palace. The day was a culmination of excitement and relief for all hopeless romantics. Though the actual wedding was overshadowed by the now duchess's dress, that was just pipped to the post by Pippa's ass, it was a TV event that we couldn't stop talking about until the morning after, when we were all recovering from the effects of the royal-wedding drinking game.

BIGGEST GUILTY PLEASURE MADE IN CHELSEA (E4) You would think that a bunch of young rah socialites would piss you off after the first ten minutes, but this show

has become a surprise hit this year.

This is partly due to the sheer hilarity of these 'real' people living their 'real' lives in the most exclusive postcode in London. But what makes this show a highlight is the fact that it is a universal 'love to hate' programme. You can't help bitching about the rivalry between Rosie and Millie to get the not so attractive Hugo or the sexual tension between Caggie and Spencer. Lets not even mention Ollie and his so-called attempts at modelling with a suspiciously placed banana in the middle of Hyde Park. Regardless of all these posh shenanigans, this posh rip-off of The Only Way is Essex has become fondly implanted in our minds. All I can say is let their pretentious antics live on.

THE AWARD FOR THE SHOW THAT WASN'T THAT BAD BUT PROBABLY WON'T GET ANOTHER SERIES 10 0'CLOCK LIVE (C4) It's hard to work out just what went wrong with this one. David Mitchell, Jimmy Carr and Charlie Brooker is hardly a weak line-up, and the hourlong slot certainly provided them enough time to shine. I think the main problem was that it tried to do too much - it aimed to be Newsnight, Question Time, and Have I Got News for You all in one. But it didn't do any of them better than the originals, which prompts the question, what was the point?

BEST CANCELLED SHOW HOW NOT TO LIVE YOUR LIFE (BBC3) Finally BBC3 finds a sitcom that's actually funny, and what do they do?

Cancel it. If you've never seen HNTLYL, and I'm guessing that'll be the majority of you, it was about a 29-yearold who was struggling to become an adult. Second-year Jim Whiteside described it as “the best thing on BBC3 since Snog, Marry, Avoid.” Although it hasn't been commissioned for a fourth series, there will be an hour-long special final ever episode scheduled for Christmas - don't miss it.

BEST INTERVIEW TOM HANKS on THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW (BBC1) If you didn't see this interview, you really did miss out. Hanks proved that he doesn't need a script to entertain an audience. What was most refreshing was the way he didn't take himself too seriously; a welcome break from the Hollywood norm. Find it on YouTube.

ere's Move over Sherlock, th a new detective in town

B

BC1’s Luther returned to our screens this month, a return which I, for one, wasn’t all that excited about. I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t watch any of the first series. I had, however, heard the hype. Every once in a while a show comes around that gets people talking; Luther is one of those shows.

And so this week, safe in the knowledge that all my essays for this term had been handed in, I headed to the iPlayer to see what all the fuss was about.

As any toddler will tell you, the very beginning is normally a very good place to start. But, just like our protagonist Detective Chief Inspector John Luther, I don’t play by the rules. My first insight into the world of Luther came in the form of the second episode of the second series. My logic was that if this show really is all that, it shouldn’t matter which episode I watch, I’ll be sure to be hooked regardless. And I’m pleased to announce that I was.

It’s difficult to put my finger on what it is exactly that makes Luther so enjoyable. It’s essentially a cop show, set in London, with the classic clichéd inexplicably intelligent detective who, wait for it, doesn’t always play by the rules, AND, get this, has some personal demons of his own. Hardly cutting edge territory for the television-drama genre. Yet I couldn’t help feeling like I was watching something completely original and fresh.

Idris Elba’s performance as the big man at the centre of this programme is definitely one of the key reasons for its success. Never has the term ‘making the part your own’ been more apt; whether it’s delivering a monologue explaining exactly what the murderer’s going to do next based on the faintest whiff of information (the way Sherlock Holmes or Jonathan Creek used to do), or throwing himself across the bonnet of his car Starsky and Hutch-style, you can tell it’s the role Elba’s waited all of his career for. Luckily for him, I have a feeling the BBC will be allowing him to play detective for a while to come yet.

By Dean Knapper

BEST REALITY SHOW CONTESTANT SUSIE (FROM THE APPRENTICE) She is apparently the cream of Britain's business talent: the woman who asked “Are the French very fond of their children?” She's annoying as hell, but there's no denying that she makes great TV.

Remotes at the Ready - ouR tv picks foR the week

e

Catch It Liv

Em

odies barrassing B

This series gives you quite a squeamish insight into the illnesses sweeping the nation.

Live from your dorms you have an up-close view at some of the most disgusting-looking illnesses out there, from sweaty feet to examinations of the back passage.

Wednesday, C4, 8pm

One to Watch

Dinner Date

A cross between Come Dine With Me and Take Me Out, this new series shows whether you can find love through the love of food. Watch as each week a guy tries to find love by choosing three girls to take for dinner.

Wednesday, ITV, 5pm

A fond farewell to...

After eight weeks it's time for Caggie and the gang to hang up their Prada heels. As Caggie heads to NYC, we wonder will Caggie and Spencer ever get together?

Made In Chelsea, Monday, C4 9.30pm

KEEPING IT REAL?

With the success of MTV's Geordie Shore and E4's Made in Chelsea, it looks as though the TV format of 'structured reality' shows is here to stay. Charlotte Judge discusses the new craze, and asks: is there a point where 'structured reality' ceases to be reality?

too Good wimbledon Everyone's favourite tennis competition is back, and so far there's only been a bit of rain. Could this year see success for Britain? We doubt it.

the aPPrentice

Geordie Shore - the reality TV show

A

fter a decade of bombarding our screens with reality TV, the latest format the TV gods have offered us is the slightly more developed ‘structured reality’ shows. Following the success of US programmes like The Hills, UK producers have presented us with The Only Way is Essex, Made in Chelsea and Geordie Shore.

This new take on reality TV means the storyline is structured and the characters are directed but the narrative itself is essentially real and adaptable.

Of course, these characters are all handpicked, maybe not so much as in a Big Brother audition, but it's still clear that producers have spent time researching social groups and selecting a few that can easily be linked to one another, to stage the perfect extended social circle.

However, this new format hasn’t come without mixed response. It seems

It's a non-mover for Lord Sugar's search for a new business s partner. Highlight thi week was Jim's at- , tempt to speak French by simply adopting a French accent.

Geordie Shore - the reality?

few people really embrace their love for reality TV, and many see it only as a guilty pleasure. York student Giles Welford, a former schoolmate of Made in Chelsea’s Caggie, refuses to watch the programme. He imagines watching it as being “like smoking crack, you know it’s awful but you keep wanting more”.

The uproar in response to MTV’s Geordie Shore, however, has not always been in jest. Perhaps not unsurprisingly, a Newcastle MP even wishes to bring the issue up in Parliament, describing the show as more like a porno than MTV’s marketed portrayal of a lifestyle of glamour and partying. He, along with many other Newcastle residents are outraged at how the show represents them as promiscuous, plastic boozers.

However, the continuing success of reality TV cannot be denied. Geordie Shore has achieved the top number of

viewers for MTV in the past three years.

This, along with the TOWIE cast's recent BAFTA win suggests that structured reality shows are going to be around for a while yet.

As someone who personally embraces this new form of reality TV I don’t see what’s wrong with settling down in front of an episode of The Only Way Is Essex or Made in Chelsea. It seems to me people need to drop their pretences and welcome reality TV for what it is - trash.

Trash is its attraction, a bit of nonsense that lets us switch off and have a laugh about bizarre activities like vajazzling or spontaneous polo.

Those tempted by this talk of reality TV can get your fix of Made in Chelsea on Mondays on E4 at 10pm and those of you breaking your budget splashing out on a Sky package can catch Geordie Shore on 126 on Tuesdays at 10pm.

eek mock the w and Dara Ó Briain for the gang return l another satirica 's look at the weekt as no news. It's still I Got e av H as od go but News For You, rth wo ly ite it's defin your half an hour of time.

Four in a bed

TV REWIND

Come Dine With Me's B & B counterpart doesn't have quite the same impact. Every episode seems to resort to laughing at the poorest couple. Lazy Channel 4, must try harder!

REBECCA OJUMU WONDERS, WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO GOOD SATURDAY NIGHT TV?

I

have to shamefully admit that my Saturday nights comprise of watching reruns of the best and worst auditions of Britain’s Got Talent. It's a sad but true fact that the age of great Saturdaynight TV has passed us by; all we're left with is yet another recycled Ant and Dec game show.

Is it me or has Saturday night become incredibly dull? Many of us used to look forward to Saturday nights to watch shows like Gladiators, Fort Boyard and Blind Date after a busy afternoon with

the family. After a long weekend, it would be the first thing we would talk about with our mates on Monday. It makes me wonder what ever happened to those times and perhaps it is time to call for a return to great Saturday-night TV programming.

For the few that have forgotten or haven’t liked the Facebook page yet, Blind Date was the dating show for the common man. Instead of the not so classy array of on/off lights in Take Me Out there was a barrier that hid the men and women from potential suitors. After a thorough grilling the isolated contestant finally picked their favorite from the three others. It was always hilarious to see the expression of grave disappointment once the barrier was removed. While Take Me Out makes Blind Date look like Brideshead Revisited, Cilla Black always brought a touch of much needed class to the show. While we know that most of the dates do not end in romantic paradise, you can’t deny

that watching two strangers pretending to enjoy each other's company doesn’t make Saturday nights worthwhile.

Now everyone secretly wanted to be a gladiator, even if they hated to admit it. Before Gladiator became a blockbuster film with Russell Crowe, ITV used to show this wrestling competition every Saturday night with then-household name Ulrike Johnson. Each week we watched the amateur wrestlers with daft stage names Hunter, Saracen and Lightning (and lets not forget everyone's favourite, Wolf). Normally geared in clingy leotards, Saturday nights would find them fighting on podiums with sticks like supersize cotton buds.

It was the perfect family entertainment meshed with ripped greasy wrestlers and tight Lycra.

Though TV like this has gone somewhat downhill, I will never lose appreciation for living in the era of the great Saturday night game shows.

PoPstar to oPera star People who've made a career out of barely being able to sing are given the chance to stretch their vocal chords a note too far.

If you enjoy good TV, avoid this like the plague.

too bad tv@yorkvision.co.uk

Books.

BOOZE FREE DUBLIN?!

A SOFTWARE developer with a passion for maps has taken it on himself to solve James Joyce’s timeless query about whether Dublin can be navigated without encountering a single pub.

In Ulysses the protagonist ponders; “Good puzzle would be cross Dublin without passing a pub”, referencing the city’s high level of public houses at the time.

107 years later, Rory McCann took up Bloom’s challenge, using online maps to locate Dublin’s 1000+ pubs, eventually finding a route from one side to the other that doesn’t pass within 35m of a pub. Local people were so impressed with the idea that they helped McCann by pointing out pubs that weren’t to be found on the online maps.

So, the major question is, will McCann be raising a pint to celebrate? Apparently not - McCann's next venture is to cross the city passing as many pubs as possible.

Want to contribute? Contact us at books@yorkvision.co.uk

Hot Off The Press

50 PENNIES FOR YOUR THOUGHTS?

RAPPER 50 Cent is preparing to release his debut novel, Playground. The novel will be aimed at the young adult market, and its central theme will be bullying.

50 Cent, (real name Curtis Jackson) claims that the novel will try and explore the science of bullying, to try and give misguided teenagers the correct attitude towards it. Jackson explains that the novel will take the reader on a journey of self discovery; "I wanted to explore how a kid becomes a bully - this book would have been very helpful for me growing up."

Like his big screen effort Get Rich or Die Tryin the novel is semi-autobiographical. He hopes that by detailing the mistakes he made, and showing their consequences, his own teenage son won’t lead a lifestyle as hectic as his. But Jackson also looks to the bigger picture, outlining his hopes that the novel will be “a positive influence on all teenagers.”

Playground will be released in 2012.

GEORGE OSBORNE

GEORGE OSBORNE

POTTER'S BACK FOR MORE

THE movie franchise is at its end, but Harry Potter is far from over. JK Rowling has launched a new website, Pottermore.com, which, although it only shows 'Pottermore: coming soon', and JK Rowling's signature on a coloured background, is generating excitement amongst fans worldwide.

The nature of the website is unknown, with fans already speculating about the project. The main guess is that the website will bring about the encyclopedia fans have been yearning for ever since The Deathly Hallows.

Despite the hope of fans that the site would indicate a new work, Rowling's spokespeople have insisted the website does not relate to more Potter books.

Rowling's continuation, whatever the project may be, will be a surefire hit with fans who never want the series to end. Regardless of what the project will be, it is still the world of Harry Potter, where success is always guaranteed.

RETURN OF THE DARK TOWER AUTHORS, as well as their fans, sometimes don't want their fictional worlds to end. Stephen King is said to be returning to the Dark Tower series and releasing a new instalment next year. Whilst The Wind Through the Keyhole fits between the fourth and fifth books as a way of filling the gaps in events between the two texts, it is an unexpected surprise for his fans.

The seventh book released in 2004 was supposed to be the last, but fans are receiving a treat in this additional instalment.

King states that whilst working on his JFK/ time-travel story due out later this year, the plot for the extra Dark Tower novel took shape in his mind.

The story will not add anything overtly new; it does not progress from the seventh book, but supplements the middle of the series. King's canon proves that his imagination is limitless, and this return to his magnum opus series proves that even when you think he's finished, he's always willing to surprise and astound by coming back with more.

JASMINE TARMEY

JASMINE TARMEY

The Books are Alive with the Sound of Music JASMINE TARMEY investigates musical interpretations of literary works...

C

lassical writers such as Virgil and Dante often invoked muses to ensure that they were able to write down their works with creativity, and so that they could describe everything in a perfect detail to appeal to the reader. However, whilst some writers invoked muses, quite a lot of literature became a muse for other art forms. Older works may inspire newer literature, and film adaptations may be made of popular or intriguing works, but literature also plays a significant role in the musical world.

There are obvious similarities between the lyrics of a song and poetry, but literature's role also penetrates this form in a much deeper manner. Many songs use literary works as their inspiration and basis, whether alluding to the work in a phrase or title, or retelling the story, condensing two hundred pages into two hundred seconds.

One of the first songs to come to mind here is Kate Bush's infamous 'Wuthering Heights', with the track and vocals sounding just as haunting as Bronte's text and her enigmatic Kathy and Heathcliff. More unexpected examples can be found in the rock genre. Green Day's 'Who Wrote Holden Caulfield' is based on Salinger's 'Catcher in the Rye', Iron Maiden's 'The Trooper' on Tennyson's 'The Charge of the Light

Brigade', Cream's 'Tales of Brave Ulysses' on Homer's 'The Odyssey', whilst Led Zeppelin and T Rex take inspiration from Tolkien in 'Ramble On' and 'Ride a White Swan' respectively. Who knew that rock and roll legends were so well read?

Classical, fantasy, and horror works are the main source of literary inspiration for songs writers of all generations.

Rather than reading plot summaries, these songs provide a much more imaginative and interesting way of learning about different works of literary art. Musical tastes may affect more than just the bands you listen to; they could also help to influence and determine the things that listeners read. The lead singer of Green Day wrote 'Who Wrote Holden Caulfield?' after re-reading Salinger's novel in his adult years. He first experienced it in high school and hated it immensely, but later decided to give it another go, showing that literature is not something to be instantly dismissed.

For more modern musical adaptations there's Taylor Swift's 'Love Story' retelling Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet' or even Panic! At the Disco's 'Time to Dance', which uses Palahniuk's 'Invisible Monsters'. Harry Potter even has a whole host of bands dedicated to performing songs based on the characters and works

(Draco And The Malfoys is one to definitely YouTube, try 'Potions Yesterday').

Such bands use amusing lyrics to provide different aspects to the characters that are well known and loved on a worldwide scale. Through the rise of the internet, fan-fiction based on popular works is easily available, with forums publicising these works being readily accessible for anyone who wants to sign up and contribute. Musical homage to literary works can be seen as an earlier form of this web-based phenomenon. Whilst fans may write short stories, or even full length works, about a character, or setting, or theme, musicians condense their praise for the work and their creative licence into a few minutes of song.

Storytelling started off as an oral form, with stories being passed down from generation to generation through the spoken telling of the tale. As literacy levels and technological advancements rose, the oral tradition died out in favour of hand-written manuscripts and, eventually, black and white printed pages.

Are these musical variations our way of maintaining a tradition so long standing that even when it becomes archaic, it is incapable of dying out?

Certain oral traditions did, after all, include song to pass along messages and

tales to later generations. The addition of melody and rhythm into the telling would make it easier for others to remember.

After all, songs are easier to learn than chunks of speeches.

So through adapting, condensing, or even providing their own creative viewpoint on literary works, musicians are managing to keep this oral tradition well and truly alive. The print medium does mean that we do not need to mentally remember tales to tell on to our children, but artists are ensuring that we do so anyway.

Through remembering the lyrics to their songs we are capable, in a fashion, of passing on a part of a story to others without needing to have access to the written text. Undoubtedly Cream's 'Tales of Brave Ulysses' and the multitude of songs based on Tolkien's The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings will not convey all of the details of the tales they were inspired by, but listeners do achieve a brief glimpse into those narrative worlds, and if their interest is sparked, the written text is ready and waiting to be purchased and read, or even listened to on an unabridged audiobook. I suppose the next question to ask would be, are literary based songs to the audio book what synopses and blurbs are to their printed counterparts?

On Stranger Tides TIM POWER'S On Stranger Tides, the inspiration behind the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean, is not a new release. First published in 1987, it is only just now emerging into mainstream consciousness.

The similarities between the book and film are sparse, and Disney did not do Power's novel justice. Jack - Shandy, not Sparrow, a far cry from Depp's parody - enlists in piracy after being captured and offered a choice to join or die.

Power creates a hauntingly realistic world in which piracy is becoming a thing of the past, where the Royal Navy offers pirates a pardon or an execution.

The choice comes with a deadline, and Shandy must race against time to achieve his goals before the pardon runs out and death is inescapable. There is, naturally, a damsel in distress - Beth Hurwood - whose father plans to evict her soul from her body in order to - horrifyingly - replace it with her dead

mother's.

Powers immerses his piracy in a world of ancient tribal magic, but rather than feeling like a fantasy novel it's portrayed in a strikingly realistic manner. The pirates use this magic against the sea and their enemies - shipmate or otherwise, and Shandy quickly picks up tricks in the hopes of saving the girl and defeating her father.

This dark novel is gripping from the offset.

Power renders his characters victims of the prose, and leaves readers desiring to know what comes next .

JASMINE TARMEY

Rated Reads Enduring Love

FEW AUTHORS have mastered the art of suspense like Ian McEwan. From the cinematic opening of Enduring Love to its thrilling denouement, McEwan's poetic yet clipped prose rivets the reader to narrator Joe Rose's story.

The best of McEwan's writing is encapsulated in the first chapter, describing an idyllic picnic held by the narrator and his wife interrupted by a balloon accident.

The picturesque is subverted to the nightmarish, and four men desperately try to salvage the situation.

One of these men is Jed Parry, whose arbitrary meeting with Joe leads to a romantic obsession, the repercussions of which defamiliarise both Joe and the reader to all that is known and loved.

A criticism levelled at McEwan's work is his tendency to write formulaically around a system of binary opposites, many of which are dealt with in this novel: religion versus science, masculine versus feminine, and madness versus rationality. Yet it doesn't hinder the novel, so subtle and sensitive is McEwan's exploration of these dichotomies. For

instance, although narrator Joe's rational, scientific point of view seems championed over Jed's religious and sometimes fanatical character, Joe's narration is often shown to be unreliable, making us doubt this hierarchy.

Enduring Love is such a compelling read we ponder the questions it poses to us, looking at the extremes of human behaviour; the overuse of science, awareness becoming paranoia, and love to the point of obsession.

Most importantly, Enduring Love is about just that, not only enduring obsessive and irrational love, but love that lasts, that leaves an imprint. This book certainly did.

CLEMMIE VAN HASSELT

The Bluffer's Guide

The Tin Drum IF YOU haven't had the chance to explore G체nter Grass's 1959 classic, the summer break offers a perfect opportunity to tackle a seminal piece of post-war German literature.

The first book in Grass's Danzig Trilogy, The Tin Drum, tells the story of Oscar Matzerath, a gifted, diminutive and prodigious child, who grows up in pre-war Danzig.

Possessing a piercing voice and wielding his tin drum, Oscar marches across Europe on a strange and disorienting trip through Poland and wartime Germany and France, moonlighting in the theatre, finding love, and observing history as it unfolds.

The Tin Drum is, first and foremost, a response to the horrors of Nazi Germany. Part of a tradition of German literature confronting the events of the War, known as Vergangenheitsbew채ltigung, the novel is rendered all the more troubling by the recent revelation that Grass himself was

a member of the Waffen SS. The Tin Drum is considered a key work of magic Realism. Causality is stretched andbroken; Oscar's personal dramas echo and reverberate in world events.

Oscar narrates the events from an asylum, some years after the events described, and as such we're never sure whether the tangled web Grass weaves is Oscar's mind or the real world.

The effect is dizzying.

A huge and harrowing novel, living on in the work of John Irving and Salman Rushdie, The Tin Drum is still a book which demands to be read.

SAM HOOK

Literary Art

GEORGE OSBORNE gives you the lowdown on IAN McEWAN

I

an McEwan is arguably Britain's most prominent author; winner of numerous awards (including a Man Booker prize), his books have sold over four million copies, and his work strikes an inch-perfect balance between mainstream entertainment, and serious academic fiction. Yet it is still too early to tell whether McEwan will be looked back on as one of the greats of English literature. Whenever I try and classify a 'great' I think of what Salman Rushdie wrote in his introduction to Midnight's Children on its 25th anniversary, where he argues that it is only when a novel has survived its first 'test of time' that we can start to tell how prominently it will fit into the literary canon. I'd argue that McEwan's fiction didn't properly get off the ground until 1997's Enduring Love so we will have to wait a little longer to see whether it will indeed come to be regarded as vital.

McEwan has certainly led an interesting life, and there are aspects to it that go some way in explaining his style of writing. Born to a Scottish Army Officer, McEwan spent a lot of his early childhood being shipped around to wherever his father was posted, spending the majority of his time in Eastern Asia, and eventually settled in England when he was 12. His university choices were risky and daring - he enrolled at Sussex University (when it had been an institution for only 6 years) to gain a degree in English Literature and did his masters at UEA, studying under Malcolm Bradbury in the very first graduating class of Bradbury's now world famous creative writing course.

McEwan's work contains a certain balance, and it is this balance that is the most intriguing factor in his literary style - he is a household name and held in great intellectual respect, yet also has a down-to-earth

persona, and accordingly his novels can read like a cross between the aforementioned Rushdie and Nick Hornby. It is perhaps this breadth of audience coverage that explains why he is one of Britain's most popular writers; his work can encompass themes of love, lust, revenge, politics, morality and climate change, in an almost seamless manner. It is telling as well that half of his novels have been adapted into films - the ease with which his stories can be transformed into a big screen phenomenon that rivets audiences is yet another indicator of his widespread appeal.

So whilst it is indeed too early to tell, the signs point to McEwan being a key figure in the literary canon in years to come.

"Wasn't writing a kind of soaring, an achievable form of flight, of fancy, of the imagination?"

Netbook laptops are taken to a whole new level!

books@yorkvision.co.uk

CAN APPLE SELL iCLOUD? A

t this year’s WWDC, Apple's developer conference where they show off their latest innovationg in technology, Apple announced iCloud and its pricing structure for the new service. With iTunes Match ($25 per year), Apple only stand to make a possible $5.62 billion, and that’s assuming that each of the 225 million iTunes users pays for it. Whilst the figures initially look huge, it’s not a massive profit margin for Apple, especially considering they paid $1 billion just to build the data centre that will host iCloud, but on top of iTunes Match, Apple are also willing to offer push mail, seamless document sync, wireless iOS device backup and unified photo sharing for free.

So, why are Apple willing to give away these services? The answer is simple: no one will pay for them, primarily for two reasons.

The first is that cloud computing, by its

very nature, doesn’t give the consumer any new hardware, making it difficult to sell. A lot of Apple’s success in recent years can be attributed to their fashionable retail stores full of people trying out gadgets before purchasing them; it’s a very material, physical process that clearly appeals to consumers.

After all, no one wants to play with a new MacBook and then leave with nothing to show for it but a new e-mail address and a lighter wallet.

The relative failure of MobileMe, a similar service to iCloud for which Apple charged £59 per year, proves this entirely as it failed to take off. For example, if you had the choice between premium webmail and Windows Live Mail (free), Gmail (free), or Yahoo! Mail (free), you’d choose one of the free services. Apple simply can’t compete.

"it's a free add-on to lure you into a fully proprietary Apple world" The second reason people aren’t willing to pay for cloud computing is a lack of knowledge. According to a recent survey by Ipsos OTX MediaCT, the term ‘cloud’ when referring to internet-based services is as confusing (and appealing) to the average consumer as the term ‘woolpack’ (a sort of

App of the Week MapDroyd

Tom March

fleecy cumulus cloud). Again, ask many users of Hotmail, Gmail or Yahoo! Mail if they use a ‘cloud-based mail service’ and they will say no. If you ask them to pay for it, they'll walk away.

If it’s that difficult to sell the cloud to consumers, why are Apple entering the market at all? They are a business, and if they can’t monetise the service then surely they may as well abandon it altogether Well, no.

Apple aren’t releasing iCloud to be sold, they actively want to give it away.

One of the biggest features of iCloud is the synchronicity between devices: if you create or edit a document on your iPhone, iCloud will sync it straight to your other Apple devices. The more Apple devices you buy, the better your iCloud experience will be and the more Apple devices you’ll want to buy. In fact, once Apple has all your e-mails, photos and documents in their iCloud, you’ll be glued into their ecosystem for the sake of convenience. iCloud isn’t here to make money, it’s here as a free add-on to lure you into a fully proprietary Apple world.

A little dramatic? Compare the idea to your Facebook account, and you’ll see it’s not. Your Facebook profile has every photo of you from the past few years (which you can’t easily download) and is the best way to contact all your friends. Would you really consider deactivating your account forever?

Just like the iCloud - it’s free to get in, but, ultimately, it’ll cost you to leave.

Rating: *** Price: Free Once you've downloaded the maps you want, ideally via a WiFi connection, MapDroyd loads maps straight from your device's memory, meaning that you can avoid the data munching habits of Google Maps and other alternatives.

Using GPS to track your position, the maps are of a good quality, and scale well. They are also reliable from my experiences. The app is responsive and clean, but suffers due to its lack of navigation directions.

However, for what it does, it's superb, and is a quick and easy way to navigate on the go without the need for a data plan and incurring charges.

Jonathan Frost

TRADING GAMEPLAY FOR GIMMICKS

I

Peter Spence criticises E3 2011 and everyone's damaging obsession with motion control

t seems the three competitors have not only grown bored of locking horns over graphical supremacy (finally) but also quality of games, and instead have decided to all carve out their own niche in the seemingly more and more innovative landscape of video gaming, but are they straying too far from home?

This year, Microsoft plugged Kinect, Sony went for 3D, and Nintendo looked to their new Wii U controller with a screen in. Don't get me wrong, all of these can be and are used brilliantly, and there are past examples to suggest this. However, what many noticed was the sheer amount they were used. They were being plastered and plugged over and over again to the point

I felt I should be taking a shot every time someone mentioned how great 3D is, or how amazing it is to work with Kinect.

Take Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Future Soldier, a headliner at the Microsoft conference. When it comes to the FPS genre, the tried and tested method for control is the gamepad. You feel the rumbles, press buttons, drop it on the floor, pass it to your mate (who unbeknownst to you has sweaty palms). It's the way it's been since consoles had analogue sticks, and it works.

Unfortunately, motion control was a large part of the pitch, to the point that one interfaces with the game by aiming an imaginary gun at the TV screen. However, with no controller comes no buttons. More

MICROSOFT

specifically, no right trigger. To actually fire a round, the stern-faced man demonstrating the game had to open and close the hand on the barrel of his imaginary gun.

Painful to watch, it is just one example from this year's E3 where developers were shoe horning gimmicks into games at the request of console head honchos.

However, Star Wars fans have been screaming for the opportunity to have a one-to-one motion control lightsaber game.

To their disbelief, Xbox announced the proverbial motion control lightsaber game. A game carrying so much hype could have been the whole package, but when your body is the controller, your game is limited to what your body can do.

You can swing your arm around while sat on your sofa, and the in-game avatar can swing his lightsaber to match your movements. But I can't instruct the game to have my character run over to an enemy, a pickup, or a chest-high-wall. Why? Because that would mean actual running by the gamer, most obviously out Kinect's sensor range. Do you want to know how the Star Wars game got around this problem?

The game itself moved the player: the entire experience has been cut down to a rail shooter.

The game suddenly appeared to be incredibly patronising, and a huge wasted opportunity. Sadly, Microsoft is pushing

this "body is your controller" Kinect mantra as much as possible. Modern Warfare 3 is coming out in November and will sell millions of units. I know that fans of the series, given a choice, would pick a controller 99% of the time.

"developers were shoe horning gimmicks into games at the request of console head honchos."

It could be what they are used to, and it could be that they can't be bothered to hold their arms up in the air for the whole double XP weekend. The fact of the matter is, I think this generation will find motion control to be an immersion breaker in their current games, and a jumping-throughhoops bane in future releases.

And it has all come down to developers being forced to use technology and peripherals not appropriate for the games they make. But that is not to say that Motion control, if used right, can't make for fantastic game play. I don't think any gamer really wants it to die out, but what is really desired is that motion control inspires its own games, rather than ruining pre-established titles.

CocknBullKid chats to Rachel Pronger A

nita Blay (a.k.a. CocknBullKid) is articulate and friendly, but she is also refreshingly honest.

She started out playing her experimental electronic on the South London gig scene and identifies Bjork as her role model, but when I ask her about the new album she's happy to be blunt. “Just a pop record. It’s simple. Mainly pop.” It is true that Adulthood is very much a pop record, with unapologetically catchy choruses. The video for 'Hold On To Your Misery,' a shimmering bitter-sweet shuffle reminiscent of a particularly synthy Supremes number, even features a dance routine with children as backing dancers. Yet despite the cute factor and Blay’s delicate husky vocals, CocknBullKid has a fair amount of sass, and enough cutting lyrics to ensure the music is never sickly.

Talking to Anita, it is easy to see where this sound comes from. She is polite and patient, particularly when my decidedly dodgy Nokia decides to rebel part way through the interview, but she is also quietly confident and disarmingly honest. Some reviews for Adulthood have accused CocknBullKid of selling out by glossing over her early experimentalism, and I wonder if Blay has encountered snobbery towards unapologetic pop among the music press. “Yes, I’ve definitely come across that” she concedes.

“My early stuff was a lot more experimental, and this is definitely more pop, and people think I've sold out in some ways, which is ridiculous... There's been some criticism that because I’ve got loads of big choruses on the album that I’ve somehow sold out. [It] is a really uneducated way to look at things because pop music is the hardest to write really...it’s a very old fashioned way of thinking.”

That’s not to say that Adulthood is a relentlessly upbeat listen. It owes much to the bitter-sweet electro-pop of the likes of Robyn (another artist that Blay cites as an inspiration), Human League and Eurythmics, pretty melodies shot through with underlying sadness. When I ask her about this melancholy undercurrent, she admits that her songs are inspired by “mainly the negative side of life really... my past, my anxieties, my hopes... it’s excising demons.”

Indeed there is a strong sense of autobiography in CocknBullKid's debut album, even between all the dance routines and sassy backchat. “When I first started writing it obviously I knew it would be about me,” says Blay. “It starts with my early teen angst until the present day and looks at all the ups and downs I experienced... It’s quite questioning I wouldn’t even say I’ve necessarily found any answers really. It's just putting them out there for people to have and to hear and hopefully they can share in their own experiences as well.”

The journey to recognition has been a long time coming for Blay, who grew up in Hackney and dreamed of being a popstar from a young age, devising dance routines to Eternal while still at primary school. Taking part in Tribal Tree, the East London youth music project that kickstarted Plan B’s career, gave Blay a chance to work in a studio for the first time and brought her dream closer to reality. However, it was still no easy task, with Blay supporting herself with deadend jobs and suffering from bouts of depression as she waited to get signed. As is so often the case, music became Blay’s

I guess when I first came out I wasn't easy to understand outlet, and she admits that she feels fortunate that she has managed to turn her outlet into something people actually want to listen to. When I ask her if she ever considered giving up on her dream, Blay is resolute. “I don’t think failure was ever an option,” she says with another hint of steely determination, “and I don’t think failure is ever really an option until you actually give up. I can’t fail, I can’t give up, I just keep going.”

With her half-shaved head and bold, colourful dresses, Blay cuts a striking figure in her videos, but she has admitted in the past to issues with self-esteem and body image. When I ask her if she believes that musicians have a responsibility to be good role models, she is ambivalent: “if your fan base is young girls and boys then you have certain responsibilities. But I think, on average, popstars and artists - their responsibility is just to create art and be honest with it. I mean, I have a basic moral code but at the same time I’m not going to let it censor what I have to say.” Indeed, Blay has been outspoken in the past about the way in which the media pigeonholes black artists, particularly criticsing how she has been referred to as a ghetto princess even though the music she was making was closer to Bowie than Grime. “You know, its a funny issue because I guess journalists and people in general just want to understand something, and I guess when I first came out I wasn’t easy to understand” she says. “It was just really lazy because it doesn’t suit me at all in any way. And it doesn’t just happen to me, it happens to all sorts of people, black, white, gay, Muslim, whatever - there's always going to be some sort of tag. I hope now I've written some more songs for people to listen to that they will see thats quite inaccurate.”

Although the stage name and honesty would suggest that Blay doesn’t care what she says, she appears to be much more balanced and thoughtful than her more outspoken contemporaries, such as Lily Allen. Her answers are thought-

ful and she articulates herself carefully.

When I ask her if her strict Christian upbringing has proved hard to reconcile with the realities of the music business she admits that although she has mostly shook off the “Catholic guilt”, she still occasionally hears her mother’s voice in her head. She is careful to stress, however, that she is not naive. “The music industry is a dicey place... you kind of sign off the line and that’s the deal you make and it depends on the choices you make and the people you work with.”

It’s been a struggle to get where she is today and Blay seems overwhelmed by her growing success, citing the release of her album and being asked to support Duran Duran as her highlights so far. She is also painfully aware of the fickle nature of the music business.

She describes her inspirations, Bjork and Kate Bush, as from a different era, when it would take years to build people up and they’d break through on a third album. From now she’s keen to build on her promising foundations. “I want to be really really prolific. I just want to keep writing as much as I can, you know, for the next record and for other artists as well... Just be prolific, keep writing, keep improving my craft, and to travel the world a bit more, not just in UK - all over the world. Just reach some people and really get the ball rolling.” She sighs, and is lost for words for a moment. “That’s what it’s about for me – longevity, and just creating new things all the time.” Remeber the name CocknBullKid, because if Blay has her way, she’ll be around for a very long time.

. . .

S N O I T S E 20 QU

H S R A H E I D O J with 1.Think of a vegetable. What vegetable is it?

Carrot. I eat loads of them.

They're packed with vitamins.

2. What’s your favourite chat up line?

"I have a driver parked outside the club."

3. What would you like to be remembered for?

Giving people good times at my parties, coming up with memorable nights out via my club brands, playing the best music that keeps the dance floor full until closing time, and a message that you can be exactly what you want to be and get on in life..

4. Whose the most famous person in your phone book?

I've got everyone's number to be honest as they all come to my clubs, or we've hung out somewhere down the line. I want the Queen's.

5. Which tune do you play as your sure fire floor filler?

Depends on the time and place.

You can't go wrong with Run DMC, in my eyes.

10. Whose your style icon?

A collection of about ten people.

I always thought Michael Jackson threw a good military look together.

live without?

Make-up and music.

6. What’s the last movie you watched?

I watched 'The King's Speech' on a flight last week and hated it.

I just didn't think it lived up to the hype. Black Swan was much more my bag.

11. To Gaga or not to Gaga?

Of course to Gaga. I don't dig the music that much but the branding and marketing is so slick, and she's exciting for the Facebook generation, just like Madonna was for me when I was younger. The work she is doing to give hope to gay kids is wonderful. She's not going anywhere for the next twenty years so we may as well get on with her.

16. What food/drink did you leave out for Father Christmas?

I never believed. How sad!

12. What’s your poison?

Red Bull.

19. What’s your favourite thing beginning with J? If you can't love. [Eds: enigmatic...]

7. Jersey Shore or Geordie Shore?

Never seen either of them, probably never will. I'm sure I'm not missing out on much, am I? 8. On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being a baby chick and 10 being neon lighting, how harsh are you?

Probably about 6. Just enough.

9. Who’d win in a fight, Jodie Marsh or Jordan?

Good ol' Katie.

estivals are just overrated aren’t they? After all, you pay £300 to travel for miles on a sweaty coach full of greasy hippies, to get to a field in the middle of anonymous English countryside where you will struggle for hours to pitch your two man Tesco tent in the pouring rain, all for the privelege of watching some overpaid and underwhelming middleaged rockers do their stuff from a distance of about half a mile because of the excessive crowds. It’s a rip off, isn’t it?

Actually, it’s not. Because as much as it’s the biggest cliché of any self respecting music fan to say that “you just can’t beat a festival,” it’s actually true. There is something magical about standing with a crowd of simi-

larly unwashed and exhausted punters watching a band giving it their all in questionable weather.

Watching it on the TV just can’t capture the buzz, the sense of anticipation as you wait for the next act to take to the stage, the pressure of the crowd as they strain forwards to see who has taken to the stage.

The sound quality may sometimes be questionable and the view obscured by flags and idiots with their phones in the air (look with your eyes mate, not with your Blackberry), but even these minor annoyances can’t detract from the power of seeing a brilliant act live. When you’re singing along with Stevie Wonder or Beyonce with several thousand other enraptured fans, it’s an indescribably powerful feeling of momentary union. Corny as it sounds, for a few minutes you genuinely feel that you are surrounded by friends. At least until the act ends and you find yourself queuing for hours for the last surviving portaloo…

SCENSTERS

RACHEL PRONGER

Scene Editors Teja Pisk Rachel Pronger

13. Who’d win in a fight, Madonna or Cher?

It would be a draw, and I would pay a lot of money to watch.

15. What are you looking at?

Porn.

17. Top beauty tip?

Do drag.

18. What do you think of people who dig through the rubbish and take things out to keep?

Lady Gaga. Just kidding.

20. Vision or Nouse?

Vision.

14. What luxury couldn’t you

Rachel Pronger and Jaime Riley battle it out as we ask the the question: Can watching festival footage on TV ever beat the live experience?

E T A B E D E H T JOIN

F

Jodie Harsh, the alter-ego of 26 year old Jay Clarke is an acclaimed drag queen DJ and promoter based in London. Her popular club nights 'Foreign and Circus' have brought the East End's queer nu-cabaret scene into the mainstream.

Music Editors Edward Francis Stephen Barbalan-

Film Editors Will Haydon Alysia Judge

Deputy Music Morgan Collins Hannah Voss

Deputy Film Jasmin Willis James Stavrakakis

S

ummer is here, term is over let's all go camping and watch music. Sun, beer, celebrations, unity… or realistically, rain, sludge, warm lager, and friendships you’re forced into making as your friends didn’t turn up to the prearranged meeting point at 5pm as promised.

I’ve been to festivals in the past, and I’ve had a great time.

When the sun’s out, you still have enough money to eat and you’re still tolerable of the campers next to you, it really is fun. But when the absence of sleep gets to you, and you realise you’re unable to rid yourself of field stench no matter how many wet wipes used, it’s hard to see how people remain so upbeat.

They say festivals are all about the music, and the “experience”.

Let me tell you about my "experience". A few years ago, I saw Radiohead at Leeds. After keeping a space at the front for five hours, I suddenly found myself much further back, squashed, struggling to breathe. To make matters worse, along came a fellow fan who managed to block the peep hole I’d wangled myself. Worse, he had a large head of unruly, cannabis stenched

TV Editors Dean Knapper Rebecca Ojumu

Books Editor George Osborne Jasmine Tarmey Deputy Books Clemmie Van Hasselt

auburn frizz. It was forced into my eyes, up my nose and into my mouth for some time... not my idea of good fun. Neither was when he threw a punch at someone next to me; no amount of overpriced beer can make that OK. Don’t get me wrong, festivals are a weekend of amazing music and a time with friends. But if they are really, as everyone claims, about the music, there’s nothing better than watching from the comfort in your own home. No more missing an act because you can’t be in two places at once. No more stoned moshers tangling your face in their hair. The TV offers me the perfect view; never again do I have to unwillingly focus my attention on the far-from-passionate touring keyboardist because everyone else is taller and wider than me. Just a cold drink, great sound, fresh smells and a perfect view - the only problem is remaining calm when the headliner’s set is taken off screen in favour of an unsigned post-modern avant-garde Reggae band who played an “intimate” set earlier that day exclusively for Radio 1…

JAIME RILEY

Technology Editor Jonathan Frost

Nightlife Editors Emma Walker Ellie Wallis Deputy Nightlife Anna Field Ollie Wessley