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I find that the way TikTok functions inherently perpetuates the spread of misinformation and the overuse of these mentioned phrases, on every level, not only when it comes to things like mental health, abuse and misogyny. We can see this, for example, in the alarming turnover rate of fashion trends, or the absurd virality of songs, I’ve seen people constantly complain when something they like becomes popular as they fear it will be ‘ruined’. On one hand I think that sharing ideas, art, information etc. is a good thing, however, the problem with TikTok is that the platform becomes saturated, the production of content becomes less about sharing and more about getting views and money by using the algorithm. There’s so much misinformation present on the platform being viewed by teenagers and preteens, who make up the largest percentage of TikTok users, they may struggle to think critically and sensibly about information offered to them. These phrases like ‘gaslight’ and ‘daddy issues’ are tied to negative situations and sometimes even trauma - they are words that should not be thrown around so flippantly. It is cathartic to apply a name to an experience, particularly a negative one, however, people need to proceed with caution.

Often these words are associated with the negative experiences of women and feminine people carried out by men. I find it interesting, firstly, that we use such general and catch-all terms to describe actual abuse, not only that, but it identifies the way in which we frame male violence against women as a women’s problem.

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Heartbreak and Meaningless Club Snogs Jacob Bassford

The title of this article could be the name of the latest ‘The 1975 Album’ or, as my mum amusingly said, the title of a trashy novel based on my experiences (thanks Mum).

I arrived at the University of York last year believing I had already met the love of my life in a Freshers group chat, it turned out very quickly as first term went on that was not the case. Since then, I have been trying to find what I thought was missing - it has not gone well, and as the title suggests, has led to a lot of heartbreak and meaningless club snogs.

I found university to be such a minefield when it comes to relationships. There are those who find a serious relationship, then of course there are the oft-disastrous consequences of ‘flatcest’, there are people who have what I call a fairly libertine attitude to sex and relationships, and there are people who are trying to manage long-distance, just to give a few examples. Trying to navigate this whilst staying true to myself was a very hard task, not helped by instances of my own naivety and stupidity admittedly. My advice to the reader would be to absolutely prioritise yourself, don’t do anything for the sake of getting into a relationship or even just getting some ‘action’, it will save you a lot of hurt for something which is not worth it even if you do get a cheeky kiss in Salvos.

My final piece of advice would be that it really doesn’t matter if you don’t find a serious relationship whilst at university. Whilst I portion a lot of the blame on myself for simple boyish stupidity, I do think social media creates unrealistic expectations, splitting university into an unrealistic binary between endgame relationships or sleeping around every club night, when in reality it is a complex, diverse stratum. Relationships do not automatically equate happiness. For some, true love can be something that evades one for a long time - if that’s the case with me, I am completely okay with that.

Some find their soulmate at 18, some at 50. Sometimes the pain can be worth it, but sometimes it is not. I have had an amazing experience thus far at university regardless of my shambolic love life, I am enjoying my degree, I live in a good house and I have a really good group of friends for life that I have found whilst here at York, and I will always have that, regardless of my relationship status when I graduate.

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