Coping with Loss During Pandemic

Dealing with bereavement has had to take a very different path during the pandemic. Loved ones have often been unable to be with the person who is dying or, possibly more importantly, be with other members of the close family who would normally provide strength and support at such a difficult time. The amazing care staff in the NHS and Care Homes have given to support people at their point of dying has been extremely humbling, but the added emotional trauma caused to family members by being kept away from each other at this critical time is yet to be understood. With the total number of deaths in the UK still continuing to rise, millions throughout the country under lockdown must be feeling the immense pain of loss. Many of these deaths will undoubtedly have been unexpected, adding to the feeling of stress. There’s no easy way to get over the death of someone close to you, but, pre Covid, individuals could at least take work leave to grieve, spend time with friends and family and gain comfort from just being in the company of others to talk and work through their feelings of anger, despair and emptiness. Even having a funeral, an important milestone when dealing with grief, has had to change. This can add to the sadness when we cannot properly celebrate a loved ones life with a ceremony and wake. For many families who, since March last year, have had restricted funerals there was always the hope they could have a big memorial celebration later with a large gathering – even that hasn’t happened and we are now over a year on. When those coping with bereavement cannot get physical support from loved ones, a cuddle, hold a hand, sit close and talk through their fears and sense of loneliness, the pain of loss can be ever the greater. Most of us are still able to cope with calls from family and friends. A minority of people may need more support from counseling services which they can be referred to via their GP or they can seek help directly through organisations such as CRUSE or Marie Curie. Ironically we would expect these organisations to have been inundated at this time, but in fact anecdotally, they have told us that they have had been receiving less calls during the pandemic period than normal. Some of the Shepperton Aurora Rotary Club have been affected by grief during the pandemic and wish to encourage those dealing with bereavement to access help through local organisations. The club is keen to let residents know there is valuable support out there for those who would like it. Through talking to such organisations that offer help, they have all identified two things to us. Firstly, they continue to offer a support over the phone and have trained individuals who can help those coping with struggling with bereavement and, secondly, they have spare capacity. Some of them also offer group meetings –unfortunately only through Zoom at the moment – but soon, hopefully they intend to return to their other support activities such as café meetings, ‘walks and talks’ and one-toone or live group sessions. There is undoubted concern by both the Government, schools and the medical profession that demand for emotional support for whatever reasons, but particularly bereavement, will increase substantially as we slowly come out of lockdown. Shepperton Aurora Rotary Club wish to encourage those who might be too frightened cautious or lost in their grief to pick up the phone and make the first step towards getting some support from organisations who offer it locally. They will also be providing funds to assist the organisations to undertake their valuable work.

You can contact our local CRUSE on 01932 571177 (cruse.org.uk), Princess Alice Hospice on 01372 468811 (pah.org.uk), Marie Curie on 0800 090 2309 (mariecurie.org.uk) or visit our website sheppertonaurora.co.uk for further information or help.

Cartoons by Helen Turner, Shepperton Artists

Well, things can’t be worse than last year!

Colleen (see ad below) and her elderly cat Bubbles need somewhere not too expensive to rent. Please contact Colleen or pass details on to anyone who might be able to help. Thanks you sincerely! Colleen and Bubbles 07722 574625 or colleenmuriel@hotmail.com

A reader contacted us in great excitement last month. He was reading the piece on the disastrous fire at Kempton Park in 1932 when the grandstand was destroyed by fire. “I think I have some of the old grandstand as my porch”, he said. So, I went round to have a look. Kempton Avenue is directly opposite Kempton Park. The story goes that the houses, built in the 1960’s did use some reclaimed materials in the construction. Below left you can see a close up from the photo printed last month. To the right, the post and the spandrel up close. There is a remarkable resemblance. It is possible that the metal posts had been simply put to one side after the old grandstand was demolished, but the gap of 30 years is significant. You can decide for yourself.