I want a divorce

Christmas is often a time when problems already present within a marriage come to a head. January is often when people decide they want to make a break. Divorce is a scary word, but if approached correctly the outcome can be positive for both parties.

Think about your children, the house, and any shared finances. Try to remove emotion from the equation and be clear and realistic. Courts are not interested in why a relationship broke down and will try to be fair to both parties regardless. The fact your partner cheated will not mean that you get more money.

A divorce will be quicker, cheaper and less destructive if both parties co-operate and behave with maturity. Even if you can’t agree everything, try to remain civil because if you fall out and the divorce become acrimonious and prolonged, savings and any equity in your house will get eaten up very quickly. Discuss things like who will petition who for the divorce and what grounds they will cite e.g. infidelity, unreasonable behaviour, or separation. Having a clear, uncontested plan will keep costs down.

Mediation is not marriage counselling. It is there to help both parties agree on the key issues such as childcare arrangements, what happens to the house, what happens to savings, pensions and investments. If you can agree on these matters than all the lawyers really have to do is draw up the agreements. In this way and the need for an expensive court hearing is avoided. Mediation works best if both parties commit to find a solution that works best for everyone. It is not always free, but it is much less expensive than legal fees.