SARAH JANE GRIEVE

Sarah Jane Gr: HOPE IN THE DARK

DREAMING OF TOMORROW HAS ALWAYS BEEN A part of who I am. I’m a dreamer, creative and everything happening in my thoughts feels like a big, real-time musical; filled with romance, adventure, drama, comedy and tragedy played out in full harmonies, with beautiful costumes, sets and a story that makes you laugh and cry all at the same time!

In a nutshell, that pretty much sums up my life at 41, I’m married to an incredible man, Barrett and have been for 21 years; I’ve been a mother for 19 years with 3 exquisite daughters: Chloë, Paige and Eden.

What a beautiful time in my life to sit back & reflect on what was, what is and what is still to come. Get ready for my ‘real life musical’ that has made me laugh and cry through the drama, adventure and tragedy.

Worship has always been at the forefront of the calling that God placed on my life, so after school I studied music. Barrett and I met at my parent’s church (I’m a pastor’s kid), when he joined our full time Bible school. Initially I was extremely attracted to this breathtaking, good-looking man, and then the spark became a fire when I watched him love Jesus more than anyone else and follow Him with passion and purpose.

He was called to full time ministry, and I knew 100% from the age of 14 that I was too. So, we “ticked each other’s checklist” and it was a match made in Heaven.

After we married, we went into full time ministry with my parents in Gauteng. But, after a few years we felt the call to start a church in Cape Town. So, in 2005, we sold everything, cashed in all investments and sowed all of our resources into pioneering a church from scratch with our two daughters, Chloe and Paige, aged 1 and 3. (I always joke and say that we had such a huge Kids church, as 50% of our members were kids - meaning our 2 daughters!)

We had the great privilege of living in Cape Town for nearly ten years. In that time, our church - The City Church, Century City continued to grow and impact people’s lives. I recorded an album, which I wrote and produced and we had a third daughter, Eden in 2012. She is such a beautiful blessing, and miraculously survived whooping cough at the age of one month (that’s a story for another day) and she’s nearly nine years old now!

God really used Pastors Louis and Edna Els (who we had met and started a great friendship with in 2000) to establish identity and the value of family in our hearts. We made a huge shift from being performance driven to family orientated, which has helped Barrett and I navigate our lives in a healthy and Godly way. From making big life choices, to raising our daughters and leading churches, finding our identity and family in God just keeps aligning our lives!

This has been particularly valuable for me, as I grew up as a pastor’s daughter in a time where church was filled with people who loved God, but I had also seen a lot of “attention seekers” who would seem spiritual to attract attention in churches, rather than genuinely seek God! This put a bad taste in my mouth for church generally and at some point, I didn’t see the point of being a pastor anymore.

I remember so clearly a conversation with God, where I was wrestling with this concept. The Holy Spirit said to me that day… “If you give up on the church of Jesus, who will lead them? If you and the rest of your generation don’t step up and find a way to seek God in a real way - what will My church look like? I am coming back for my church; I need you to help to get this generation ready”. Wow! What a conversation I had with God that day, this was a huge turning point for me, and I realized the need for us to be passionate, real and focused pastors, who would lead people from a position of authenticity.

In this moment, God reminded me so much of the role that I was to play in His church, but at the same time confirmed my “sonship” in Him. Not by my ability and strength, but purely by His!

So much so that in a very dark and difficult time of my life, I wrote a song that says… “I have come to realize, You’re the reason for my life You convince me time and time again - You love me. And when I fear the world around, You lift me up and hold me tight. You convince me time and time again - You love me”

There is always HOPE IN THE DARK! Jesus is right there with you, shining His light into your life!

Through our journey, we have learnt some important lessons and made some important adjustments. Setting in place some values that have directed our lives, Barrett and I have made some personal things our biggest priorities … 1. Our personal relationship with God (this is the best gift you can give to yourself).

2. Investing in a loving and healthy marriage (this is the best gift you can give to your children)

3. Spending time with our children and choosing them ahead of any other people in our lives.

4. Loving people with an authentic Godly love (This can cause you the greatest joy, but also cause some hurt, as not everyone in your life will love you back the same way you love them).

There are many other values that we live by, but these three are our first and most important.

I must also just say that choosing family as a big priority has been so incredible! There are many ‘parent guilts’ that we will carry, as we are never going to be perfect, but the one thing we have control over, is our hearts and time. Once we aligned our hearts and time towards our family, God’s peace began to be around more often than before. Remember that children spell love like this… T I M E!

There are so many stories that I could share of my multi-genre musical, as we ended our season in Cape Town, with many highs and lows. God was not finished with me yet; He had a trick up His sleeve which would lead me into the most extreme highs and lows of my journey so far! Kind of like a movie set in the desert, just as you feel like you might die of the heat, a beautiful oasis appears to quench your thirst and exhaustion! But that is our story for the next edition. (Paige says… Oooh mom, the second half of your story is the “spicy” part). So, join me next time for the SPICY edition of … Hope In The Dark!