Cyber Sex

CYBER SEX by maddie thoreson CYBER SEX

The undeniable truth is that almost everyone today, who knows what the internet is and how it works, knows about cyber sex. With access being easier than ever to unlock millions of pornographic images, videos, and live streamings with just the click of your mouse, it’s no wonder so many people are feeling curious and even confused about this industry. As the writer of this article I think it is only fair to disclaim that this article is only scratching the surface of such a huge topic.

Some of you may be asking, “where did cyber sex come from?” or “when did this all start?”. In no way is “cyber sex” a new fad or a cool trend that has just started recently. The boom of internet in the 90s saw the birth and the growth of what is the online porn industry. Before the internet, men and woman could satisfy their fantasies with porn stars on videos that could be purchased or rented in sex shops. Before pornographic videos, the world had pornographic magazines that could provide that same anonymous sexual excitement. Now, In 2020, you can really choose how deep your involvement is with your online sex life. Do you want to have a personal connection with a cam star? Do you want to subscribe to an onlyfans account along with many others? Or do you just want to have a sexy intimate FaceTime with your partner? The options are endless on how serious you want your cyber sex life to be, or to even have one at all.

Cyber Sex in the Media

The media, especially in music, television, and movies have capitalized on the idea by adding cybersex related topics in all types of music genres and storylines. Twenty four year old pop star Doja Cat has even made a hit song called “Cybersex”, in which she goes into detail about her relationship (real or not) with her online sex life. She also includes lyrics about popular applications such Tinder, Instagram, and Skype which are often nowadays used for a way to meet people online and potentially have a video meetup and “get freaky on camera” as Doja Cat says in her single.

In regards to movies and television series, a relatively new one that has become very popular among teenagers, “Euphoria”, has a specific character, “Cat”, whose storyline follows her secret cyber sex life. Cat starts off as a somewhat shy and overlooked girl in high school. As the storyline continues she soon discovers a new life of becoming a cam girl for money. As she meets with clients who adore, typically older men, she is shocked to find out they want to her to humiliate, talk down, and dominate them. For her services her clients gift her with items from her wishlist. As a result of this exchange, Cats character gains in self confidence throughout the episodes and she becomes the kind of girl she’s always wanted to be. With her self esteem on an all time high she goes through the rest of the school year sexy, smart and unapologetically sure of herself.

It’s important to take into account that this representation of a cam girl may be the media romanticizing the idea of cyber sex. After all, season two isn’t out yet and who knows what could happen to Cat. This positive idea of cyber sex is only showing one side of a story and when it comes to the complexity of cyber sex, there are too many sides to cover in this short article.

Controversy Around Cyber Sex

Of the multitude of questions that cyber sex could spark, could being a “cam girl” be a good thing? Is this empowering sex workers and giving them more confidence than they ever thought they had? Or on the other hand is cyber sex doing the opposite and undermining these cam girls? Is asking a cam worker to provide specific services for payment different from any other job? Providing a service for money. The principles of services for payment are the same but the product is somebody’s body which makes the topic explode with controversy.

There is endless content that contributes to the “not so good” side of the pornographic industry, which can feature many objectifying images that are damaging to your brain. In todays world this kind of content may seem normal to watch or can feel like everyone else is watching the same thing, but little is known the long term effects this can have on your sex life. With unrealistic expectations of what sex really is and is not, the type of sexual content you expose to your mind is crucial.

If you are someone who identifies as a woman, you may feel exhausted of the gender-based violence that the main stream porn industry is offering you. Why not look into ethical porn? You will be pleasantly surprised to know that there are many female porn directors devoted to making porn from realistic view made for women by women.

If you are someone who identifies as a man, you too may be tired of feeling the pressure to be the stereotypical overpowering aggressive man that everyone expects you to be. You also would appreciate ethically made pornographic content. We need to think of the condition the workers are put in and if they are something you would like to support. Which cam workers are you supporting? Is this a person who is choosing to do this career or someone who is being forced? Does this person have proper pay? What are their working conditions? These are all things we need to take into account when we chose what kind of content we want to support. Plus the more realistic and raw the content is, the better this will be for your own mind when you have your real life sexual encounters. that matter, helloooo, we are also sexual beings. For those who are sexually active regularly with a partner or have hookups every other day, they likely dying from that sexual desire building inside them. Most people probably would prefer to have real life interactions with a partner, but with this world wide lock down, we can start to take advantage of the advances technology has given to us. Now more than ever is cyber sex in high demand!

Cyber Sex + Quarantine

The internet has taken the world by storm with the endless amount of content on cyber sex. With everyone cast away in their homes and not to come in physical contact with anyone, the world is sexually frustrated and horny! We are social beings, and for

With endless content on the internet there are more ways than ever to give yourself that sexual satisfaction you’ve been wanting from your own home. There are chatrooms waiting to be joined from all over the world. Millions and millions of videos with every different niche of porn you can think of. Whatever your kink is, there is a video for you. Start exploring all the internet has to offer. This world wide lock down is the perfect opportunity for you to explore yourself sexually. What do you like to watch, and why? How do you touch yourself? What turns you on the most? Write all of these things down. Make goals for yourself that you want to achieve in your future sex life. Knowing yourself on a deeper level will help in more ways than you can imagine when you become sexually active again with your partner(s).

Say for example, you are woman who is super shy with yourself sexually. Why not watch super sexy confident woman performing live on camera? It could help you see sex in a more fun and playful way. The many messages the media gives us about women sexuality can be conflicting. This can leave women feeling a bit uncomfortable or confused on how to behave sexually. This is where we as individuals have to take our sex lives into our own hands. No pun intended. If you want to be a more sexual being, it helps to look at sex in a good and positive light. If your whole life you have only been given a negative outlook on sex, it would be expected that you are going to have troubles performing sexually with a partner or even just with yourself. This quarantine is without a doubt the perfect time to take control with your sexuality and get educated. We have endless information at our finger tips, it only makes sense for us to take this opportunity. Just make sure the content you decide to show yourself is the right image of sex that you want your brain to receive.

How to Have Cyber Sex

Of course there is no right or wrong way to have cyber sex. There are endless options available. You can be a watcher, you can be a performer, or you can do both! Cyber sex doesn’t have to be as scary as it may seem just because the internet is involved. In no way am I suggesting the only way to participate in cyber sex is by getting naked on camera and exposing yourself to the world. In fact, I don’t ever suggest exposing yourself on camera if you don’t know all the risks and problems that can come with cyber sex. The internet is forever and like I stated, the world still has its stigma around sex and nudity so we have to keep this in mind and not be naive.

However if you are someone open to this and have educated yourself on the risks, why not give it a try? You could start watching others to get inspiration and ideas, then turn on your webcam and try it yourself. If you have a specific person you want to try this with, why not get on FaceTime and try it together. Too shy for FaceTime? How about sending a sexy message to your partner about all the things you want to do with them, once you’re both out of quarantine. All of these things can be done with someone you are comfortable with or even a complete stranger.

You will shocked to know how many strangers meet online everyday waiting to get that sexual excitement they desire. Meeting up online with people you don’t know might sound strange or scary at first, however many people find this concept a huge ego booster. Knowing theoretically there are endless amounts of people that would love to see you touch yourself, undress, or even do unrelated sex activities, it’s no wonder so many people report feeling empowered and more confident after doing cyber sex related practices. Especially when they are not used to feeling uplifted sexually in their everyday life.

Final Thoughts

To try and wrap up a topic that could be talked about endlessly, I think cyber sex is all about what you decide to make of it. Maybe you don’t want to make it anything at all, and thats okay too! Your sexual being is unique to you and your values and opinions on sex are yours to keep. You should always make sure whatever you decide to do with your online sex life is your choice and nobody else’s. Do only what pleases you and makes you feel comfortable and safe. For those who are open to trying a few new things, write down your feelings through your experiences and you will soon start to discover things you never even knew about yourself in the process. My biggest suggestion is to stay educated about sex, intimacy, and love as much as you can throughout your whole sexual discovering process. It is important to set goals and make decisions based on what feels good to you deep down. Unravel yourself and get lost in what pleasures you and what makes you feel good. Why do you like certain things and not others? Discover what makes you feel the most comfortable and reassured in such a vulnerable act as sex is. Take the time to ask the hard questions and not be afraid to forgive yourself for past mistakes you’ve made or things that have made you feel negatively towards your sexuality.