Bringing back your sparkle

BY ALINA BOJNIEWICZ

A relateable guide to shining brighter than before

As time unfolds I have found myself falling into socalled “bad habits” and staying in them for months on end. Personally, it resulted in endless nights in bed watching Harry Potter or bad reality TV, and binge eating doritos. Losing your sparkle, in essence, is losing what makes you special and happy as an individual. The sparkle being the light in your eyes, the positivity behind your smile and the ability to maintain motivation. With life throwing many various events and complications at you, in the face of all of it, the best advice I have received was to stand up tall, fake it till you make it and never let the person causing you pain think they succeeded. Over the past four years that sentence was repeated to me at least twice a week, normally from my mother or sister. Parental figures tend to have the most wisdom and advice that we take for granted until we realize the usefulness of their words. The winter months, especially, have proven to be when these bad habits are prevalent. To break out of this pattern that has become almost a tradition each year of having constant protruding misery and self-inflicted pity, I adopted some new habits and ideas.

Standing tall:

I learned to give myself grace and to accept that changes in patterns don’t happen immediately, even though it is desired. For me, this looked like doing things outside of my comfort zone, and understanding that what I needed was to live more in the moment and learn to let myself be comfortable. Your self esteem can be reestablished. By letting others have opinions, but not giving them weight in my opinions or personal feelings. This doesn’t come easily, as breaking out of the mindset that ‘other people’s opinions matter’ is almost second nature to our generation. But in time you will come to the understanding that those around you are simply just around you. They are not you. One key thing to remember is, as life goes on, the one confirmed constant is yourself. You have to live in this body forever; others do not.

Fake it till you make it:

I learned over time to not constrict what I am craving, and that in moderation, nothing can “do harm.” It took years to learn, what I call, an art when it comes to being confident. In today’s society, it is very hard for teenagers to remain content with themselves, especially when they are constantly seeing perfection in the form of various posts on social media. Keeping the cheesy phrase of “everyone is different” in mind can prove useful in times of insecurity. Not everything is as it seems on the outside; everyone always has their own mess. Remembering that can help when one is feeling alone in their struggle. Something consistently forgotten is that it is okay to be selfish; it is vital in order to make steps to achieve the goal of regaining your sparkle. Trying to please others to the extent of losing yourself and what you want can prove to make all parties involved miserable.

Alina poses in front of flower wall in Santa Barbara, California.

Never let them think they’ve won:

To regain your sparkle is the most fulfilling feeling, and can give you the utmost happiness, making everything feel like it’s going to be right. Those who make you feel as though you aren’t one of a kind don’t deserve the satisfaction of seeing your doubt. Look in the mirror and tell yourself what you love about yourself. Those same things are why those close to you adore you. Let your fantastic attributes sink in. I hope you never lose your sparkle, but if you do remember to stand tall, fake it when it all feels wrong and never let others think they’ve won.