9 minute read
Paul Hopkins
The Fact OfThe Matter
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PAUL HOPKINS PAUL HOPKINS
Shlock and horror, and not just at Halloween ...
WE all like a good fright now and then, and not just at Halloween, if only for the adrenalin rush and the cocoon of comfort that leaves us sated after the thrill has gone. Of course, there are those who are schlock and horror junkies needing frequent xes of blood and gore and nightmarish ghouls. Otherwise, there would not be the expansive libraries of horror tales that is cinema and the printed word. When I was at college many moons ago, I would give Friday afternoon lectures a miss for the Carlton Cinema on Dublin’s O’Connell Street to whet my appetite for the works of Edgar Allen Poe or the Dracula movies of Christopher Lee. To be honest, I think my adrenalin rush those misspent Friday afternoons was more down to the ample bosoms and exposed esh of those beautiful, but hapless, wenches who fell foul of Christopher Lee’s lack of a good orthodontist.
But horror and ghouls do not just abide in the world of literature or cinema or in our collective imagination. Horror, of a stomach-churning sort, exists in the real world.
I am not talking here of the horrors of man’s inhumanity to man that is evidenced in Yemen or South Sudan or in a hundred other global con icts. Rather, I’m talking about Nature. Stories we associate with creep shows play out every day as animals use their shocking abilities in a savage e ort to survive and pass on their genes. Nature is indeed red in tooth and claw, but, turns out, teeth and claws are some of the more docile adaptations in the evolutionary arsenal.
Consider the Ichneumon wasp, an innocent enough little bugger — it has no sting — I came across when
I rst visited America, also many moons ago. In the movie ‘Alien’, the titular alien begins its lifecycle as a parasite embedded in a man’s chest before bursting forth in bloody fashion. Our friend the Ichneumon’s life cycle is strikingly similar to the lien’s. A female Ichneumon seeks out a host for her young, usually a caterpillar or such, and uses her syringe-like ovipositor — her organ used for laying eggs — to inject the creature with eggs. When they hatch in their unwilling nursery, the eggs begin devouring the poor old caterpillar from the inside out!
Unlike the alien, the Ichneumon larvae’s approach is surgical because, fair play to them, they leave essential organs like the heart for last in order to keep their ‘host’ alive, and therefore fresher, longer.
Cannibalism was the de riguer of low budget horror in my Friday afternoon cinema in the 1970s. e natural world, however, has far fewer scruples when it comes to cannibalism than do B-movie directors. Take the Spadefoot frogs who lay their eggs in rare desert pools. While these pools have few predators, they lack nutrients and evaporate quickly in the heat. To survive, the tadpoles must develop into toadlets and escape their barren nurseries in as little as a week. e survivors manage this by cannibalising their smaller siblings and the winners emerge from the pond to renew the ghastly cycle, their bellies lled with their would- be brothers and sisters!
Meanwhile, some carnivorous plants have stepped up their culinary game and taken a liking to the taste of mammals.
With colourful, uid- lled leaves, pungent scents, glistening glue or grasping tentacles, they lure their victims to a nasty end. And they live right here in Ireland.
Anyone who has walked over a bog on a still, hot day will know what a paradise they are for insects, especially the biting sort.
What you may not know is that bogs are full of plants that have turned the tables on the insect world and will capture, kill and eat every midge, bug and ant they can. John Wyndham’s classic e Day of e Tri ds doesn’t come into it.
Finally, those creatures that permeate our worst nightmares. Rats typically avoid smells of cat pee — for obvious reasons! — but when a icted with the dreaded slug-like protozoans — parasitic thingamejigs — called Toxoplasma gondii, the rat’s brain becomes rewired. T. gondii not only represses the rat’s natural fear of cat pee but replaces it with urges of sexual attraction. e rat is driven to seek out the cat odour in the hope to procreate, but comes face-toface with the predatory Big Tom. At the end of the day, these microorganisms can only reproduce sexually within a cat’s intestines.
And I thought my sex life was weird...
M&S cancel Christmas food deal
MARKS & SPENCER has withdrawn the Christmas Food To Order service from its shops in the Republic of Ireland, due to ongoing supply issues caused by Brexit.
In notices on social media, the company said: “Given the current challenges in the food industry, there was too much risk that we could potentially let customers down with key items in their orders ahead of the all-important day - we’d never want to do that.”
A spokesperson for the UKbased retailer said the decision was due to “the complex checks and delays resulting from Brexit.”
Previously, M&S opened its online orders for Christmas food in September, with customers paying a deposit on ordering and the balance on collection, at pre-booked time slots.
However the company still hopes to have a full range of seasonal food items available to purchase in-store in the Republic. “Customers in Ireland will be able to get all their festive treats from our Foodhall.”
Turkeys are expected to be in short supply this year in the UK, however M&S expects to be able to meet demand in Ireland. “Customers will be able to buy fresh turkeys from midDecember. e vast majority of turkeys will be supplied from Irish farmers and there are no planned reductions in the range and volume.”
Other food retailers in the Republic already have plans in place to manage festive food shopping crowds, and to cater to those who do not wish to have to enter crowded retail environments in the run up to Christmas.
A spokesperson for SuperValu said: “From November, both delivery and click and collect Christmas slots will be made available nationwide for stores that provide an online shopping service throughout the year.”
Plan for 39 social homes in county
A TOTAL of 39 social homes are planned for Kilkenny City and omastown.
Six new homes are planned at the Weather Station, Granges Road in Kilkenny and 33 new homes are planned for Ladywell in omastown.
Mayor Andrew McGuinness, has welcomed the announcement describing it as a positive announcement for Kilkenny.
“I’m delighted to welcome this positive news today as we will now see an additional 39 new homes provided in the city and county for families and individuals on our housing list,” said Mayor McGuinness. “We have been making fantastic progress with housing in Kilkenny with the recent opening of new homes throughout the county but we still have a huge housing issue with many families struggling to keep a roof over their heads. Today’s news will certainly be a big help. I’m very grateful to Minister Darragh O’Brien and his Department for such a positive investment.”
Glanbia sets a price to pay milk farmers
GLANBIA has con rmed it will pay its milk suppliers 36.6 cent per litre (cpl) for September. Glanbia Ireland (GI) said it will pay a base milk price for September of 36.18 cpl (including VAT) for creamery milk at 3.6% fat and 3.3% protein. is is an increase of 1 cpl (including VAT) from the August base price. Local farmers will also receive a 0.42 cpl (including VAT) payment from Glanbia Co-op on all milk supplied this month as their ‘Share of GI Pro t’. e Glanbia Ireland base price and Co-op ‘Share of GI Pro t’ payment will be adjusted to re ect the actual constituents of milk delivered by suppliers. Chairman John Murphy said: “Dairy markets have strengthened , mainly due to weaker milk supply from key dairy regions. Higher farm input costs and other factors are curbing milk supply growth. ere are signi cant in ationary pressures at all parts of the supply chain, which we are monitoring closely.”
Work to begin soon on new City Library
WORK by Duggan Lynch is to begin in the coming weeks on the City Library, on behalf of the council, on the site at the former Mayfair Ballroom on the Abbey Quarter site in Kilkenny City. e construction contract will be for a duration of 15 months. e new library will be an important feature in the City and will o er services and facilities which include dedicated areas for children, teenagers and general leisure reading, computer and study areas, meeting rooms and exhibition areas.
Welcoming the commencement of the works, Cathaoirleach, Cllr. Fidelis Doherty said: “ is project, when complete, will provide a modern library facility in the heart of the City with My Open Library technology facilitating extended hours of access for the people of Kilkenny City and County to enjoy for years to come”.
€8.6m. overhaul in next three years for north county roads
AN overhaul of North Kilkenny roads are in for an overhaul to the cost of more than €8.6million in the next three years. e rst big spend will be in 2022 with over €2.8 million to be spent on a number of signi cant road upgrades, local councillor Pat Fitzpatrick con rmed.
ese roads include Lisdowney to Clone ,Gathabawn to Foyle North and Muckalee to Gaulestown as well as road upgrades at Flagmount North, Skehana, Kilmacar and Coon Village.
Councillor Pat Fitzpatrick said: “I’m delighted to welcome this substantial investment into roads in North Kilkenny. is is badly needed as I see the poor condition of many of these roads on a daily basis and have been ghting the case for local residents for some time. I am happy that we are now seeing positive results.
“While €8.6 million is a sizeable investment, we do need a lot more to extend the upgrades into other areas around the north of the county where I know residents are su ering as a result of poor road conditions. at said, I’m delighted that our cry for help has been answered in terms of the current list of works and I’m very much looking forward to seen the works been carried out.”
Mountain trails get new signage
NEW signage marking out the Brandon Hill Summit Walk has bee installed, providing for large, map-broad trailhead signs at both the Deerpark and Raheendonore car parks, heritage information signs and marker post signage with direction length and the average duration to and from the summit.
Councillor Peter ‘Chap’ Cleere, who called for this signage to be improved last year, has welcomed the installation.
