Paul Hopkins

The Fact OfThe Matter

PAUL HOPKINS PAUL HOPKINS

It was tough going, living together in lockdown

MY late father, very much a man at his best in just his own company, once said to me that loving someone was one thing but “liking them and living with them another matter altogether”. He and my mother were one year short of 50 years married when they died within 10 weeks of each other in the Millennium year.

Such a lengthy time with my mother may have, down the years, got under my father’s skin — his shortcomings more at fault than her’s — but breaking up was never, would never have been, a consideration. Mind you, they annually holidayed separately.

I doubt, though, my father would have survived lockdown with my mother. And, if that remark seems somewhat unkind, well, so be it.

He obviously would not have been alone. Applications for divorce reached their highest level ever last year, according to data from the Courts Service. Some 5,266 applications were made, an increase of 29% on 2019, and by far the highest annual gure since divorce was introduced in 1997.

Legal experts put the massive rise down to changes in the law in 2019, which reduced the waiting time for divorce from four years to two, and to the impact of pandemic lockdowns on struggling marriages.

Sadly, the Covid-19 e ect can also be seen in data on domestic violence applications which jumped by 12% last year.

“One factor driving the increase is a whole new cadre of people became eligible for divorce in December 2019 as a result of the referendum,” says solicitor Keith Walsh SC, a member of the Law Society’s Child and Family Law Committee.

“Another factor is Covid. e e ect of the pressure of lockdown on individuals was huge. Marriages already under pressure maybe crumbled a little bit quicker.”

In the decade up to 2020, the number of divorce applications annually ranged between 3,330 and 4,314.

In the rst global lockdown there was much debate about whether the pandemic would prove a boom time for the birth rate or for divorce lawyers. Debated, because, when the world went into quarantine in March of last year, it was regarded by those who concern themselves with such matters as one vast social experiment. And we now know the pandemic has had life-changing e ects on so many aspects of global society, not least relationships.

Early signs were not promising. A report from north-west China, a year on, in March 2021, described a record number of applications for divorce as the registration o ces reopened. In 2020 the UN called the rise in global domestic abuse cases the “shadow pandemic”.

Other data, too, suggested falling birth rates across Europe.

Over a lunch of tapas the other day my psychologist friend from Magherafelt said: “I don’t think anyone who got married in the past 50 years expected they were making a vow to spend 24/7 in the same small living space with a spouse, while educating their children at home, working at home, and having no real outlet.”

As we ordered a shared desert of apple crumble, he argued that, if a relationship was troubled to start with, lockdown likely exacerbated the situation.

I agreed that, without the distractions of separate workplaces and nights out with friends or whatever, many couples perhaps wondered what they had in common. at said, the rising death toll made us all acutely aware of the fragility of life. Lockdown sparked an existential line of self-re ection that many of us are no nearer solving all these months later.

Many couples, however, have found their time of enforced togetherness bene cial. ey’ve had more time together, family time together. ey haven’t had the stress of the daily commute. Figures for those wanting to continue working from home would suggest this, as would the many happy families and couples I have seen out and about, minding their social distance.

My psychologist friend proffered that, for most couples, the impact of the pandemic on their relationship probably lay “somewhere between a ection and a iction”.

I am divorced, but my ex-wife and I, the last eight years, have had an amicable relationship. Indeed, as I spent more time that she the last year and a half con ned to barracks, the mother of my three adult children — a frontline worker — more than rose to the occasion in checking on my welfare, making sure I was fed and watered.

I thank her for that.

Meantime, for many relationships negotiating the road back to ‘normal’ as restrictions ease could prove challenging.

‘The impact lay somewhere between affection and affliction ...”

Amazing Ros Tapestry in full view at Kilkenny Castle

Picture this: the wonderful displays of the Ros Tapestry exhibition in Kilkenny Castle

HISTORIC Kilkenny Castle is playing host to an exhibition of the Ros Tapestry e O ce of Public Works (OPW) has provided space at the castle for the tapestries which were moved for their protection from the Tapestry Centre on the quays in New Ross, Co Wexford last year. e temporary new home set the tapestry housed in a castle built by Isabel de Clare and William Marshal in the early 13th Century, and whose life stories are entwined in these tapestry panels.

Minister of State with responsibility for the O ce of Public Works Minister Patrick O’Donovan, said: ‘ is collaboration between the board of e Ros Tapestry and the OPW is a great opportunity to showcase these exquisite panels, which commemorate the Norman history of New Ross and South East Ireland.

“We should also appreciate the wonderful embroidery skills and sheer dedication of the many craftspeople who have for over 20 years worked tirelessly in bringing these characters to life.’ e Ros Tapestry exhibition, which was launched by journalist and Carlow native Olivia O’Leary earlier this month, has drawn in thread the story of the Normans and their arrival in the south east and the consequent development of the dynamic port of Ros is depicted in a series of fteen large striking embroidered panels.

e Ros Tapestry project is the thinking of Rev. Paul Mooney of St Mary’s Church, New Ross, who was inspired by the famous Bayeux Tapestry in France. He conceived the idea of creating a series of tapestries to commemorate the Norman history of New Ross and South East Ireland. e rst tapestry was completed in 2002 and to date 14 of the 15 tapestries are nished. e nal one is being stitched in Kilkenny and is nearing completion.

Volunteers throughout the country have done all the stitching, with well over 150 stitchers contributing, working both at home and in local venues. Each tapestry is embroidered on to Jacobean linen twill fabric with woollen thread using a multitude of di erent stitches, such as ‘Long and Short’, ‘French knots’ and ‘Bullion knots’.

It takes about an hour to stitch one square inch and can take anything from three to seven years to complete a panel.

Mary Lou O’Kennedy from the board of e Ros Tapestry said: ‘We are delighted to partner with the OPW who have created a stunning display of the Tapestry in the wonderful surroundings of Kilkenny Castle. is exhibition will bring the extraordinary work of its creators and stitchers to a wider national and international audience which we hope will continue when it returns to its permanent home in the Norman Centre, currently under development in New Ross.” e tapestries can be viewed at e Gallery, Kilkenny Castle, up until September 2023, from 9:30 am till 5:30 pm daily (last admission 5 pm).

e story of this community project ...

THE Ros Tapestry Project is a major community arts and history project centred on New Ross. e project is dedicated to producing a tapestry a in 15 panels which tells the story of the coming of the Normans the to Ireland in the 12th century and the foundation of the port and town of New Ross at the beginning of the 13th century.

Each tapestry panel is approximately four and a half feet deep (1.5m) by six feet (1.8m) wide and tells of a unique aspect of the epic story. Six panels were nished for an Exhibition in 2007 and a further nine panels are now (2020) completed. e project began in May 1998 with an idea to make a tapestry telling the story of the coming of the Normans to Ireland in tapestry form and to hang this tapestry in the historic St Mary’s Church of Ireland Church in New Ross. e idea originated with the Rector of the Church, Reverend Paul Mooney, who then consulted with Alexis Bernstor , an art historian and professional in the eld of tapestry and fabric restoration.

roughout the summer of 1998, Dr. Mooney and Alexis Bernstor consulted with local artist Ms. Reiltin Murphy to create a visualisation of how the tapestry could be best displayed in the Church of Ireland parish church.

At that time the focus of the tapestry widened from the story of the Norman expansion into Ireland in the latter part of the 12th century to include the founding of the port and town of New Ross at the beginning of the 13th century.

A provisional list of 15 themes for tapestry panels was outlined, as well as the measurements for the panels to be hung from the gallery of the late Georgian, early 19thcentury church.

Countess Ann Gri n Bernstor , professional artist and mother of Alexis Bernstor , was approached to consider designing the tapestry and o ered to paint the cartoons for the fteen panels. Countess Bernstor began with some experimental pieces in the Autumn of 1998 and a draft plan for the project was produced and circulated at that time.

Here’s how to de-clutter your Covid hoarding

AS I SEE IT

MARIANNE HERON

THE Japanese call it Suteru! and it’s the answer to TMS (too much stu ) syndrome and the literal translation is ‘throw away’.

De-cluttering sounds a bit less threatening and was the topic of a long running BBC2 TV series called e Life Laundry which liberated hoarders from paralysing accumulations of possessions.

TMS goes to heart of a paradox in consumer society. We love acquiring stu : clothes, books, music, ornaments, electronic gear… But the other frugal side of our nature refuses to get rid of our possessions. It seems wasteful to part with them and, before we know it, we are mired in clutter.

Suteru! is the title of a best-selling book by Nagisa Tatsumi translated from Japanese, the English title being e Art of Discarding. According to Nagasi holding onto things from the past that we no longer use holds us back from our current selves, quite aside from the depressing untidiness it causes.

If you nd yourself hunting desperately for a document amid stu ed les or unable to nd the pair of trousers you want in a crammed wardrobe, maybe it’s time to learn the art of de-cluttering. So how do you make a start on clutter cleansing? • Parting with possessions can be quite emotionally tiring so it’s a good idea to tackle one area, or even one drawer at a time. • Tidying things into storage boxes isn’t necessarily the answer, it simply hides objects from sight and puts o getting shot of them. • Hanging onto things ‘in case’ you might need them has more to do with that security blanket feeling than with practicality – out with them! • Try on those clothes at the back of the cupboard you don’t wear – if they don’t look or feel right it’s time to part with them. • If you are a hoarder enlist the help of a ‘chukker‘ in order to help with clearance. My Mum used to sort things into piles 1) keep, 2) maybe and 3) you must be joking! • No need to feel guilty about de-cluttering when there are charity shops and, hopefully, post- pandemic car boot sales where your discards can raise funds for others or for yourself. • Once you have sorted out an area you will discover how liberating it is to declutter and you will be enthused to carry on doing more.

But why do we hoard possessions and in extreme cases allow clutter to take over our homes? It can be the way that we attach undue emotional importance to objects, they remind us of people dear to us or of special occasions.

Hanging onto them brings back memories but it also pulls us back to the past rather than being in the present. Another reason apparently is that we over- imagine the usefulness of the object but fail to make the object useful. Like the outdated jacket you mean to alter but never do or the table with the broken leg which sits in the garage and never gets mended.

Understanding this can help us to see clutter for what it is. Clutter doesn’t have to be thrown away; it can be recycled and made useful by resourceful, needy folk, brought to charity shops or sold at a car boot sale or a vide grenier (French for empty the attic) but of course there is always the temptation to acquire more stu if you go to one of those!

* Marianne Heron is a journalist and author of Irish Life’s Rewire Don’t Retire. She is also studied fashion at St Martin’s College of Art, London

Be a ghter, put down the lighter!

ANDREW MCDONALD HYPNOTHERAPIST

AMONG the most dif cult of habits to quit, smoking is pretty high up there. e mere idea of it is daunting enough. Should it really be? e truth is yes and no. If you’re a long-term smoker, you’re almost certainly addicted to smoking. However, since 1965 over 40% of those who smoke have quit. Furthermore, 1.3 million people around the world stop per year. is number might seem small compared to the billion people worldwide who do smoke but it means a huge amount of people do achieve their goal of binning tobacco.

A further consideration is that among those billion people, many, perhaps the majority, have no real intention of quitting. Some may say they’d like to but how many actually take action is a much lower number. Additionally, in that billion, there will be people who do smoke but aren’t habitual smokers. People who perhaps have a cigar at Christmas or pu on a shisha when they go on holiday. Technically, they’re smokers but it’s unlikely to be a problem for them.

Finally, with a good smoking cessation programme, 20-40% of quitters keep tobacco out of their lives permanently.

In short, whilst nobody would say quitting smoking is easy, it is possible.

By far the most important thing is that you nd your reason for giving up smoking. It has to be your own reason. If all you have is other people wanting to, success isn’t impossible but it is going to be much harder. Spend time exploring what makes you want to quit, not the reasons other people give you.

Do your preparation before you quit! Make sure you have some kind of support in place in advance. Your GP is there to help you. Ask them about all the methods that will help which including quit-smoking classes and apps, nicotine patches and gum, medication and hypnosis which is a particularly powerful method of quitting. ere are plenty of other methods too. Ask your friends who have already quit for ideas.

Whilst talking to your doctor you can ask about prescription pills. ere are medicines which curb cravings and also ones which make smoking less enjoyable if you do light up. ere are also medications which can help with withdrawal symptoms.

Make sure to lean on loved ones! People who love you and want you to enjoy good health are certain to support you in your desire to quit. Ask them for help. is is particularly the case if they have already successful quit themselves.

You should also take time to explore and pinpoint your triggers. For example, many people nd drinking alcohol induces them to smoke. When you know what encourages you to light up, you can look at avoiding or limiting those activities.

With a good plan and a little willpower, you can and will quit smoking for good! It will be tough but millions have done it and so can you!

Planning for castle to get more than a lick of paint

RENOVATION plans for Kilkenny Castle include the construction of a permanent outdoor archaeological display, a universally accessible lift and toilet facilities, new roof structures and extensive landscaping and future- proo ng works. ese are all included in a recently granted planning application made by e Commissioners of Public Works in Ireland to Kilkenny County Council. e approved plans aim to improve universal access to the castle and grounds and are broken into thirteen lots, listed as follows: 1) e installation of a universally accessible lift to the north turret of the mid-nineteenth century Long Gallery with associated works, including part demolition of a late twentieth century intermediate oor (12m2) and late twentieth century at roof (11m2) and the construction of a new, lead- clad, roof structure. 2) e construction of external steps and ramps adjacent to the north turret to provide access to the basement level. 3) e removal of late 20th century steps (6m2) and partial removal of 20th century plant room(5.5m2) and nineteenth century store (33m2) to facilitate new universal access. 4) e provision of universally accessible WC and additional WC facilities (45m2) in the existing nineteenth century basement, semi-vaulted area, external to the castle. 5) New landscaping works to the Castle Courtyard and curtilage, involving the permanent display of the recent archaeological excavations of Marshal’s Gate (medieval entrance) which is to be partially uncovered with the formation of new embankments, a new pedestrian route and associated treatment. 6) Resurfacing works to the Castle Courtyard, including the removal of twentieth century grassed areas and replacement of existing tarmacadam surface with a new surface(2692m2). 5 7) Rationalisation of futureproo ng of services within the courtyard, to include the installation of new drainage. 8) Conservation and restoration of Kilkenny limestone pavement and earthenware channels to the perimeter of the Courtyard. 9) Resurfacing works to the formal garden to the northwest of the Castle with the replacement of the existing tarmacadam surface treatment with a new surface(2238m2). 10) New sloped paths to provide universal access to the perimeter of the formal garden (22m2). 11) Resurfacing works to the linking path between the formal garden and Castle courtyard with the replacement of

Breathtaking: Kilkenny Castle due for major refurbishment

the existing tarmacadam surface treatment with a new surface (872m2). 12) e replacement of existing temporary security cameras with permanent cameras and xtures. 13) e installation of emergency lighting at high level to the Castle courtyard facades.

Vicky Phelan: “I am very emotional at moment, I did not want to come back to the US ...’

VICKY Phelan has returned to the US after spending some time with her family in Ireland but has since received some bad news.

In a post shared by the Mooncoin resident on social media this week, the women’s health campaigner told followers that she is moving to a new trial in the US after her doctors weren’t “seeing the results that they would like” from her current treatment procedure.

“I am back in the States since Sunday evening and met with my doctor Tuesday to discuss a plan going forward,” she writes.

“Basically, my team are not seeing the results that they would like and think it would be best if I come o my current trial and start on a new (but similar) trial which has just started enrolling patients on it this week.

“And so, following a LOT of thinking over the past month I decided after yesterday’s meeting and results from my last scan which showed growth in 2 of my tumours, that I would move to this new clinical trial and give it a shot.”

Vicky will undergo a series of scans and tests before starting this new treatment regime but she notes that it will be very similar to the clinical trial that she was on.

“I will post a video update once I know more and once I have settled back in over here,” she says before thanking everybody for their support during such an emotional time.

“I am very emotional at the moment. I did not want to come back! I spent the rst two days this week crying every time I thought of my kids and I found it so di cult trying to hold it together when I spoke to them on FaceTime... I am feeling less homesick and less teary today. I will just take it one day at a time at the moment so please bear with me.”

Democrats in plea to TDs on climate

THE Carlow Kilkenny branch of the Social Democrats has written to their TDs in which they say our country’s record on climate change is poor. The letter addressed to TDs Malcolm Noonan, John Paul Phelan, Jennifer Murnane O’ Connor and

John McGuinness says that last year we missed our agreed emissions reduction targets.

Signed by Chairperson William Sainsbury reads: “We cannot procrastinate any longer. We are already seeing the devastating effects of climate change across the globe. We must rapidly implement massive wholesale changes in order to prevent catastrophic temperature increases.

“We must face this challenge head on by working together. Therefore, as an elected representative of our constituency we are calling upon you to stand up and speak up on our behalf.

“This is about the future of our children and grandchildren. They will look back on our actions over the coming years and they will hold us to account.

As a member of Government, you have the opportunity to bring about real change. We implore you to do so.”

The letter concludes by saying: “The first step we ask you to take is to introduce a moratorium on the construction of new data centres.”

Deadline looms for €250k. arts fund

ARTISTS in Kilkenny planning to apply for project funding from the new ESB Brighter Future Arts Fund, in partnership with Business to Arts, have until 5pm on Wednesday, September 8 to submit their application online. e €250,000 fund is open to artists working with organisations on creative ideas that will engage the public on energy transition. ese artworks and arts projects can be in any art form that takes place on the island of Ireland including visual arts, spoken word, music, theatre and much more. Potential themes include environmental sustainability, climate change, sustainable development goals and imagining what a brighter future might look like.

For more information on the fund and for details visit: www. businesstoarts.ie/artsfund/ esb/.

Long Covid link to blood clots

PATIENTS with Long Covid continue to have higher measures of blood clotting, which may help explain their persistent symptoms, such as reduced physical tness and fatigue. is is according to a study was led by researchers from RCSI University of Medicine and Health Sciences and is published in the Journal of rombosis and Haemostasis.

Previous work by the same group studied the dangerous clotting observed in patients with severe acute Covid-19.

However, far less is known about Long Covid, where symptoms can last weeks to months after the initial infection has resolved and is estimated to a ect millions of people worldwide. e researchers examined 50 patients with symptoms of Long Covid to better understand if abnormal blood clotting is involved.

“Because clotting markers were elevated while in ammation markers had returned to normal, our results suggest that the clotting system may be involved in the root cause of Long Covid syndrome,” said Dr Helen Fogarty, the study’s lead author.

Speaking to RTÉ’s News at One, Dr Fogarty said: “Long Covid is a new condition and very little was known about it to date and really it’s a collection of symptoms in patients who have recently had Covid-19 and it’s quite a heterogenous bunch of symptoms.

“It includes things like reduced physical tness, shortness of breath, fatigue and these symptoms can last weeks and many months after their acute illness of Covid-19.

“While doctors have made signi cant gains in the acute Covid-19 illness, much less is known about Long Covid Syndrome, which is now estimated to a ect millions of people worldwide,” she said.

Women Of The Year get down to the annual business of awards

NETWORK Ireland has launched its annual conference and Businesswoman of the Year Awards, with Enterprise Ireland as its event partner. e gala event will be streamed live from eatre Royal Waterford on October 8 and tickets are now on sale.

All proceeds from streaming ticket sales will go to Network Ireland’s charity partner for 2021, Focus Ireland. e audience will enjoy a programme packed full of expert business insight, real-world advice and entertainment, as well as the excitement that goes along with the Businesswoman of the Year awards each year.

e award categories are: • Solo Businesswoman • Emerging New Business • Established Business • Employee – Rising Star: recognises professional women in a company who have made important advances as they start out on their career. • Employee – Shining Star: professional women, who demonstrate ambition and dedication to their careers • Creative Professional • STEM: recognises professional women in STEM. • ‘Power Within’

Champion:recognises women who have used their Power Within to great impact. A total of 435 applicants put their names forward for the awards through 14 regional branches of Network Ireland, and a hectic season of selection events across the country in recent months has resulted in the selection of 72 nalists to go forward to October’s event.

Network Ireland’s National President Aisling O’Neill said: “We’re preparing a fantastic line-up of guests who will be sharing expert insight and real-world advice on areas including science, food, investment for your business or your own portfolio and more.”

Sheelagh Daly from Enterprise Ireland said: “Acknowledging and recognising the talent and expertise demonstrated on a daily basis by women business leaders contributes signi cantly to increasing women’s entrepreneurship, resulting in better business and faster economic growth in Ireland.”

AIB’s Head of Business Banking, Catherine Moroney, a judge at the awards, paid tribute to the hard work that goes into this event each year: “ e awards are the very visible evidence of the ethos of Network Ireland following on annually from a year of purposeful networking, learning and the development of a strong peer network of outstanding businesswomen. It has been particularly important through lock-down and will be equally so as we develop our ‘new normal’ for business and communities.”

That’s the business; Catherine Moroney, AIB’s Head of Business Banking; Aisling O’Neill, Network Ireland’s National President; and Sheelagh Daly, Entrepreneurship Manager, Enterprise Ireland at the launch of the Businesswoman of the Year Awards PHOTO : Mary Browne

Government failing our children, says TD

THE continuing increase in childcare fees show the Coalition is continuing to fail children, according to CarlowKilkenny TD Kathleen Funchion.

Despite repeated Government promises to tackle childcare costs, Deputy Funchion said fees are instead getting more expensive for hard pressed parents. e TD, who is Sinn Féin’s frontbench spokesperson for children, said the Government was failing working parents.

Deputy Funchion said: “Last year the Government announced a series of ambitious commitments to reform the childcare sector.

“A year on from the Programme for Government, not only have childcare fees not fallen, but they have actually risen.

“ e reality is, as revealed in Potable’s 2020 Early Years Sector Pro le Survey, fees have continued to rise across the board in both private and public creches. Families across the State are struggling to cope with skyrocketing childcare fees.

“ e Government has dismally failed working parents who need a ordable childcare in their rst year. Families are crying out for this crisis to be addressed, but the Government is failing to act.” e Carlow-Kilkenny TD said those young parents who were also frontline workers “have su ered terribly over the past year”.

And she urged the Government to immediately make childcare a ordable for all, adding: “ e repercussions of our broken childcare system were exposed starkly during the public health emergency as vital frontline workers struggled to juggle their jobs and nd appropriate childcare.

“I have consistently raised the issue of women being adversely a ected in their career choices by the cost of childcare.

“Cost and access to local childcare remain the greatest challenge for so many families, and I think at this stage it is obvious to everyone, except perhaps the Government that the current system is not working.

“Childcare should be a ordable and it should be accessible locally, it’s a place where children go to learn, develop and grow – that’s why it’s vital we get it right.

“ ere can be no more delays. ey must act and reduce childcare fees to give families a much-needed break,” Deputy Funchion said.

Strike up the ddles, lads ‘n’ lassies...

2,409 of locals on the PUP

A TOTAL of 90% of Ireland’s adult population would have to be fully vaccinated in order for music to return to pubs and restaurants across the country, according to the thinking of the Government and Nphet.

Indoor music in Irish pubs is a cornerstone of the entire Irish pub experience — part and parcel of the craic — but it has been missing for almost two years. e good news is we are now up the 83% jab mark, so keep the faith.

While indoor dining has resumed for those who are fully vaccinated or recovered from Covid, the whole atmosphere is still lacking when compared to pre-Covid times.

However, that target for music to return to pubs across the land is edging closer ...

According to the Global Covid tracker, 81.7% over over-18s have full vaccination, while 90.1% have had rst jab. e Government is also talking about fast-tracking an annual booster. Meanwhile, the Covid nancial supports will stop on September 7 but entertainers are still without a return to work date.

THERE were 2,409 Kilkenny people in receipt of the Pandemic Unemployment Payment (PUP) as of Wednesday, August 18, a slight drop from 2,521 last week. e greatest reduction was in the area of accommodation and food services sector. e PUP gures published were in addition to the 184,213 people who were on the Live Register at the end of July. e number of Kilkenny people on the PUP during the 2021 peak (February 9) was 8,957 while at the 2020 peak (May 4) there were 11,491 on the payment.

In total across Ireland there were 153,309 people in receipt a Pandemic Unemployment Payment (valued at €45.4 million). ere were 602,100 people availing of the payment during the 2020 peak.