PRE-RIDE CHECKS

CYCLING LIFE [314–443]

On the Pennine Bridleway above Todmorden, England. © John Coefield BODILY FUNCTIONS [328–346]

328. Cycling can be a very visceral sport; blood, sweat and tears are an expected part of racing, but also snot, wee and worse.

329. Exercise-induced rhinitis can be a problem – this is the medical term for that annoying runny nose you get when you exercise. Up to 75 per cent of athletes experience a runny nose without any other obvious cause such as hay fever or a cold. That’s a lot of snot …

330. Blowing a well-aimed snot rocket is one of the less than pleasant skills that cyclists acquire, but it has its purposes. It is much better than inhaling back up into your lungs or covering your gloves in snot trails. It’s gross, you wouldn’t do it on the street, but it seems universally accepted when cycling (though possibly less so post-Covid). Cover one nostril tightly, aim and blow.

331. When riding in a group, if you need to clear your nose check the wind direction and drop to the back or side to aim your snot away from other riders.

332. If you watch professional road racing, then you have probably seen a camera accidently catching a rider peeing while being pushed along by a teammate. It’s a useful skill in a race but not one to use on the club run. As with snot, check wind direction before releasing the flow.

333. Cycling clothing designers have spent an inordinate amount of time trying to solve the problem of how women go for a wee in bib shorts. Many solutions are completely over-engineered and create more problems than they solve. Whether you go for waist or bib shorts is a personal choice. I prefer bib shorts; there is less pressure on your tummy, which is a performance issue, and fewer ugly bulges, which is a vanity issue. In summer, going for a wee is simple – just