Versus Skatezine & Plus #81bis

“Les voyages forment la jeunesse”

Versus Skatezine & Plus #81 Mai-Juin 2012 - Special Issue -KING OF PARIS(aka “We invented Paris” for Jan...)

This one is for you guys at Thrasher! Thanks by the way... Cheers!

Durand Jérémy “La Maidzan du YCM” 173 rue Jean Styczinsky 73300 Saint Jean de Maurienne versus-skatezine.ca - jeremyversusdurand@hotmail.fr

Let’s say that, in 15 years, I made a couple of skate-trips in my life, but I’m still learning everytime I hit the road. Especially this time; As the french guy from the crew, I was more or less put at the tour-guide position by the crew. It was an honor. I was looking for the spots, I did a book with some challenges and shit, tried to organise an hotel (with Jan’s help), the program, metro map, etc...

And I failed... At least that’s the feeling I got. I’m not looking for excuses, but fuck it wasn’t easy (gsi) at all. How do you want to organise anything with 10 drunken guys?! (Jan doesn’t need to drink alcohol to behave drunk so, yeah I was really with 9 fucked dudes)...

Some guys need years to get ready, some need a breakfast, some don’t, some want to skate gaps, some manual pads, some are hungry, some want to chill, some need to go back to the hotel to pick-up some shit, some want to go to the hair-dresser, some want to get drunk, some want to sleep more, some just don’t care about anything, etc...

Whatever, in the end, trying hard to please everybody, I got the feeling that everybody was a bit pissed at me.

And I’m pretty sure that actually, it was not true at all. I just took this shit way too seriously (still trying to learn from my man Colinsky).

I took everything personnaly. Milä broke his board at the 1st spot (trying his trick a second time because I missed the first picture), Charly broke his board and got hurt at the 2nd spot, Milä bruised his heel at the 3rd one, and the list kept on like this, all trip long.

Sometimes, I even ended up getting a bit annoyed by every little details, because the program was not really going the way I “planned” it the day before. Thinking about it again, now, I realised how stupid I was. There was no reason to stress at all! I had the loveliest crew ever on my side!

I tried to hide it the best I could, but I’m not sure it really worked out well; so if one of them realised, and was annoyed about my behavior, I would like to use this paragraph to say how sorry I am about it. Really.

All in all, that was a another great trip anyway. Guys were all killing it their way, and I had the chance to experience that live once again. So good.

I mean, check my life, it doesn’t take too much time to realise that I’m a mess, so trying to organise anything with 10 skate-rats was really nothing for me. It was written. I mean, I’m bad at it, and I hate it anyway, so guys, I will never do that again. Sorry.

Doesn’t matter, I will join next trip anyway, anytime. Because a bad at skateboarding is still better than a good day at job!

Cheers!

Jey

FUCK THE POLICE! This year we had 2 teams: Team A: Jey - Nico - Samir - Claude - Pascal Team B: Jan - Simon - Michael - Marc - Charles I had no idea how to organise the team... So I choose myself. And did eat shit all trip long for putting Samir on my side. Yeah the kid killed it again.

I made a book with challenges and shit, like I did in Berlin...

But yeah, next time, I already have the new concept: Samir vs Versus Army!

This trip is only 1 month old or so but I have the feeling I forgot a lot already... So I asked the guys to help me out with a short text. Nobody did, beside Samir (I told you, he’s killing it!); Anyway so I’ll do my best... This gonna be a mess... But that’s how the trip was so shouldn’t be too much of a problem (Who’s reading article in a skatemag anyway? Yeah that’s what I’m saying...); Alright so we went in Paris all together. First night was already pretty fucked up because the idiot from the hotel didn’t understood anything of what we told him via email, phone, etc...

Nico and me had a room, but the other 8 swiss dudes were fucked. I managed to find them a sketchy room (it was already late at night). They couldn’t find any parking. So after a while, they just parked where they could. So their car got towed in the early morning! They managed to get it back pretty fast but... had to pay 126 euros. Nice start isn’t it?!

Finally they joined Nico and me at our hotel, I helped them to park their cars and the trip could finally start. First stop: “Snowbeach” manual-pad.

Milä jumped over a rail, I missed the shot. Asked him to do it again, he broke his board. Nice. Second stop: “La Bastille” ledge, because I knew Charles could drop this shit. I was right. But he broke his board. And fucked his ribs. I lost 5 euros as well (he was about to give up when Samir did the drop he was fighting for, first try). So we had to go back to the hotel to get some new boards for the unlucky boys, and Jan’s photo-camera memory card. It was so fucking hot. Metro was fucking crowded. We were closed to “Le Dôme” so I was yeah, let’s take a look. Take a look doesn’t mean the same thing to everybody it seems. Milä jumped down the ledge (angle to approach the ledge was impossible due to some water... he tried anyway...). He fucked his heel. Too bad. He had it. One man down. Heelbruised sucks. Oh yeah Milä, this sentence is for you: If you would had land this ledge. You would had get the best trick of the trip award. Not Samir. And do you know what does it mean? Your team would had won. Yeah man, that’s it! Who said teams set-up were not fair?!

Sorry mate. Had to say it. Good recovery!

Bodies were flying down the double-set all afternoon long. Great body-firecracker from The Dude, Marc the newbie was killing it, Pascal as well (Pop Shove-it Tailgrab first try, fuck you Mr Clyde Singleton, this trick is sick!), Samir’s kickflip, and Simu’s signature-trick: Bs flip. Just perfect!

Im not sure anymore, but I think we went to “La Défense” afterward.

We were pretty much all fucked-up. We wasted hours to decide what to do, what to skate, where to eat, etc... to finally end-up at the famous bank and Y curb. Not much went on, but sorry, I have to say it, I won 2 games of skate! One against Samir (he’s a gentleman), one against Charles (he was “ä chli berlinderet”!)

On the way back a girl asked me to do some tricks for her. I asked her to give me a french kiss for that. She said no. Too bad. I failed the “get a french kiss” challenge...

I guess that was pretty much it for the first day. I didn’t went out. Some did. Made some points with the “Tequila-Suicide” challenge, stickers, etc...

The day after we wasted a couple of hours to wait that everybody get ready, bought and eat all, etc... Nico couldn’t handle it anymore, so he started to drink some Jim Beam at 10am...

The half of the crew was ok with skating Bercy. So we went. Nico fucked his hell pretty bad. Another man down. I broke my board trying to jump down 3 and got a nice Zero deck from Samir. Thanks kid. That was some serious team spirit right there. Simon went for broke down 4 and 5 and then lost his arm wrestling fight against Nico. Don’t worry man. A bad at skateboarding is still a better than a good day at job! Samir got something like 5 tricks down 3, and made the big 5. Marc was killing it. Bs 180 down 2, ollie down 3. After a quick check at the skatepark (this shit sucks), and at the handrail (this shirt doesn’t even exist anymore!) we left. I really

wanted to skate the wave at St Eustache Church... So I took the crew there. Fuck man, wrong choise...

First the construction area everywhere around Châtelet les Halles was huere scheiss...

So we walked, we walked, and we walked some more, to finally see that the wave was dead... RIP Then we wasted another couple of hours to choose the next spot, etc... Pascal decided to get his first tattoo, The Dude almost got something too, but no, you know...

It’s The Dude. Anyway, half of the crew, leaded by Samir went in direction of Beaugrenelle. No need to go there again guys sorry. The famous ledge (Menikmati etc...) is dead (for real). And the other small one, is dead too (Samir killed it).

He did pretty much everything I’m able to do on a flat rail. Oh wait it’s not even true. I can’t do any Fs

Feeble. Congrats Samir. I’m so glad I had the chance to live something like this live. As a small reminder, he fucking did the Big 5 for breakfast the same day. Thanks kid.

Marc got the best slam there too (while walking down the ledge).

Afterward, we skated another 4h eventhough we were already dead.

Both teams were working on their book, getting some more points.

Simu destroyed the manual-pad.

Charly got his wallie (first try hehehe...). The Dude did fucking 50 kickflips in a row! Sancho, Pascal and me did something like 25 different no-complies. Was a fun session. As usual we waited the last second to eat. Subway there we went...

Home... Shower... Means another couple of hours wasted again...

Swiss guys can say whatever they want about french dudes but they are fucking slow!

Samir - Ollie - Roja Media

NEVER SAY DIE!

Samir - Nosebonk - Jey

Anyway, I went out with the boys, drunk some Orangina. Yeah, I had a challenge vs Jan, and I won. Yeah he didn’t took a sip of alcohol the last day. There is no way to crook a straight edge dude... Actually that’s probably the best thing I did during the trip: stay sober 4 days in a row.

Whatever that was a funny night anyway. Sticking Versus & Doodah stickers everywhere on our way., playing “boules” with vegetables, going behind the bar and serve a beer to a friend, trying hard (too hard?) to get a french kiss, and some more shit that I remember for once... Because yeah, I was sober...

Hey girlfriends, no worries, I took care of the boys, you can trust your men, they are all straight. (I had as a secret mission to look after them).

Oh yeah, and we are not completely close-minded. We took a look at some typical tourist-spots too....

LOST IN WHAT I FOUND

what’s wrong time? d o o g a g n i v a h

ma oepis fressen!

I’m just a bit disapointed, nobody did a fucking flip trick on the top of Eiffel Tower... Anyway...

Last day. We are all dead (beside Samir... scheiss kinder!). So we went to a mellow manual spot. Long ride. But chill. Charly dropped another monster on the way. And then, Samir killed the main spot. He BS 50-50 the entire wave, and did some tech-shit manual stuff. At this point, not many challenges were left. So I did the bare-footed kickflip, and then took a short ride completely naked (what a nice cover isn’t it?...). We, Team A, took a serious advantage again when Claude get towned by a car.

We almost forgot about Marc from Team B... This fucker took off his clothes without even thinking about it. MIlä, woke-up, and even with a bruised heel did the bare-footed kickflip too. And then, Charly closed it down with the roof-gap challenge. Damn it. I through we had it!

And that’s pretty much it. Back to the parking, say bye, and leave...

Oh yeah, I got pictures from everybody. And I don’t remember which one was shot by who... Sorry guys... But thank you all anyway. Analog shots (black’n’white) are from Jan & The Dude. Good job idiots. The cover was shot by Jan too, but I’m not sure he really wants him name anywhere with this one... Ah yeah the cover... Let me explain something...

You know, it’s an unwritten rule, but what happened on the road (is supposed) to stay on the road. With Versus, what happened on the road, ends up in Versus. It can be funny... It can suck too sometimes I guess...

Anyway, I was told that it was not really fair, because I was the only one with the control, writting what I want, publishing what I want etc...

I even heard that I will never have the balls to use this naked picture from me... So, as an answer, I fucking put it on the cover. And it’s not because I’m proud of anything... at all... Just to make everything clear: Nobody is safe, not even me!

Fuck while I’m writing all this, I’m wondering how I’ll be able to pay the printed copies of this issue again... Yeah living the pro-skateboarder life without the pay-check at the end of the month isn’t that easy everyday.

Eating only once a day since a week already... Fuck it, I’m brewing my own DIY beer at home now, you guys should visit me and buy some!

Once Charly told me that for him, time spent between two skate-trips was just a waste of time. Damn he’s right. I’m wondering where we gonna go next time? Team A, we won, we can choose the next destination!

Let’s leave! Let’s live!

Let’s go somewhere where there are no mushrooms on pizza! (if not Milä won’t join...); Let’s go somewhere where you can get your hand tatooed! (like that Simu could get a Versus tatoo) etc... ;)

Samir - FS Feeble - Roja Media

Samir - (Almost) BS %0-50 - Roja Media

no pain, no gain!

kickflip barefooted = 25pts!

Why are we doing this? cuz the mothe rfuck’ we can!

Dont mess with the swiss Versus Army Did you already got a Skateboard Fanzine logo as an haircut?

Me neither... Marc did! Fuck yeah! Best haircut from far!

If I had more guys like the Team B dudes working on the Versus propaganda, I would be famous all around the world already. Those guys left something like 1000 stickers on their way... Doodah, you can be proud of them!

Jan made one of the hardest challenge of them all and did eat shit working on it... He was waering his sun glasses on the entire trip!!! Didn’t saw a bump riding at night, and crashed with all his equipment... Nice job mate!

Charly smoked an entire pack of cigarettes even if he hates it... Just for the team you know! Why? Because the motherfuck’ he can!

what happened on road, stays on thtehe road... cheers bitch es!

Simu sprayed paint a Versus stencil on his arm... Why? Nobody knows!!!

Why do you need a reason for everything? Who cares about society?!

Alright, now, let’s some space for my man Sancho-Pancho (Serbian-Power) aka Samir Isis from ex-Bad-Shit Skateboards, now on Zero and Emerica.

We are all glad you joined the trip mate. Thanks for your passion!

Some words from the MVP himself, Sancho aka Samir Isis...

“So here we go! Once again we proved that 10 idiots, good skatespots and passion is everything you need for a great skatetrip!

This time we had two teams: team A and team B (how imaginative names Jey)...

But the concept was great.

I personally thought it was better than being alone. The challenges were stupid as usual (offer a bottle of wine to a homeless dude. I’m sure that’s good for them), and some of them just impossible...

I mean no one got a french kiss!

Where are the bitches in Paris?!

Clichés can be so wrong... I mean where can you eat snails? No clue...

I’m never gonna forget the (vegetable)-boule game that ended

up in throwing vegetables at drunk ass women for no reason!

The 10 minutes long puking session of Päscu in front of a restaurant will be a story that we’ll tell each other for years!

The skating was awesome!

Paris is a great city to skate, although we didn’t have enough time to check them all out!

Actually we didn’t even get close...

This time we had less alcohol but even more shit talking and other weird stuff!

But it’s always a great time with these people and I’m really looking forward to the next trip!”

VERSUS ARMY-4-life bitches!

Sancho

everybody was killing it! on his own way

I turned around, I read the writing on the wall I ain’t no nice guy after all

pascal

doesn’t mind style! Team a represent!

er

Tous drop dropable doit etre drope

In all the years you spend between your birth and death You find there’s lots of times you should have saved your breath It comes as quite a shock when that trip leads to fall

Rules are made by fools for fools...

Grufa, you weren’t with us, but yeah, whatever, tell us something: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Okaaay.. merci Grufa... Urs? What?

24chf / sentence? Alright, deal, go for it mate!

The sentence is a construct of evil. It only exists to fuck with our minds. Imagine a world without any combined phrases, just the words.

Wouldn’t that be great?! Communication would be much easier and we would save aI lot of time... So...

I! Eat! Drink! Fuck! Die! Done!

Good one! Tom it’s your fucking turn... chum!! Schneller!

VIVRE LIBRE OU MOURIR Dä huere Schissdräck!! Kaum im Drittweltland (Frankreich) angekommen, gehts schon los... Die jungen Küken werden alle aufständisch und erzählen den ganzen Tag nur noch Müll.

Wie Urs so schön gesagt hat: “Halte Dir Deine Freunde nah, aber Deine Feinde noch näher!” Und so wirds wohl den ganzen Aufenthalt weiter gehen... In diesem Sinne “Let’s get fucked up..!”

Euh d’accord... stop talking now... Vinz, you’re the fucking teacher here, let’s fill out this thing up with some clever shit: ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄHHHHHH DÄ HUERE SCHISSSSSDRÄÄÄÄCKCKCKCK!!!!!! i ha nüüt uf dene huere schnäggefrässer, aber füür mache chöisi. u die huere chnebusalami isch gopfertami no guet (rezept heisi äue ehh irgendwo ir schwyz klauet u nennes jtz arschkriecherisch “le bâton de berger” ohhh la la?!?! Hallo? “Berger” da schnaut selbscht dr tümscht schnägg, dass das nid Französisch isch! ahhhhh schissdräck jtz bini ufemne schnägg usgrütscht, dä huere schissdräck.

VERSUsicatIo n TOtAle

Ok, bon ben là j’suis sûr de vous avoir complètement perdu... C’est aussi ça Versus. Pas de compromis. Personnel (trop?). Bordélique (trop?). Comme la majorité des sessions, skate-trips, etc... qu’on essaye d’organiser.

J’essaye de finir ce numéro depuis des semaines maintenant... Et j’suis entrain de vivement regretter de ne pas avoir shooté quelques photos de plus... Ouais comme ça, je n’aurais pas à me forcer à remplir ces pages vides avec des textes insignifiants pour la plupart.

Pour vous dire, j’suis tellement en manque d’inspiration, que j’suis allé au bord du lac, avec mon laptop, et j’suis entrain de ressembler à tout ces crétins de hipsters que je critique...

Et, ça ne marche pas. J’essaye de me rassurer en me disant que c’est à cause de tout ces abrutis entrain de jouer au foot autour de moi, manquant de bousiller mon ordinateur toutes les 2 minutes...

Puis il fait trop chaud en plus (ben ouais sinon je serais entrain de skater).

J’vais rentrer avant que mon pc se mette à fumer...

Un skatetrip, ça se vit, ça ne se raconte pas. C’est aussi simple que ça.

Un peu comme une soirée à la Maidzan (le skatopia mauriennais)...

Bref ce skate-trip à Paris c’était d’la balle. Les 2 équipes se sont défoncées pour gagner un maximum de points en skatant, et remplissant des missions toutes plus stupides les unes que les autres. Et à ce petit jeu, c’est le gamin du groupe, Samir qui a été le meilleur. Victoire du Team A... d’à peine 100 points (pour un total de 1450 points).... À force de le saoûler, j’viens de réussir à - motiver - Nico d’écrire quelques mots au sujet de notre p’tit séjour dans la capitale: “Pour resumé, un sacré plan pinaille! Ca a commencé par l’hôtel direct le premier soir, ensuite pour acheter des billets de métro, et quotidiennement tous les matins, pour le super petit dejeuner, car les petits suisses bouffent comme des voraces; surtout Claude! Sinon bon trip, bon spots, bonne ambiance, jolies filles et super beau temps! À refaire mais plus longtemps.

Fin. Faim, faim, faim, faim, faim...”

Bon ben voilà, j’ai presque réussi à remplir ce numéro au complet, il est temps de trouver une conclusion maintenant...

Zorlac... Soma... Versus... Même combat...

Shut up and skate! À bientôt!

You know I’m born to lose, and gambling’s for fools , But that’s the way I like it baby, I don’t wanna live for ever, And don’t forget the joker!

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