Verse Magazine Edition #18 | September - October 2017

FREE Edition 18 | September - October 2017 Your Student Mag

Edition 18 | September - October 2017 Head Editor Caitlin Tait Editor Rubina Chitrakar Communications Editor Bridget Kerry Graphic Designer Rachael Sharman Contributors Madison Kennewell, Nicole Faiello, Charlotte Rollinson, Bridgette Minuzzo, Indigo Cherry, Stuart Jefferies, Poppy Fitzpatrick, Evangeline Polymeneas, Nicole O'Rielley, Jessica Collicelli, Connor Reidy, Arnis Silvia, Josephine Ainscough, NV.Smith, Sash Corowa, Amy Moten, Chandler Saing, Victoria Knight, Arviegail Cahilig, Annabel Bowles, Bianca Iovino, William Hill, Emma Cuppleditch, Emma Sachsse, Tracey Davis, Jennie Maydew, Chloe Coates, Mark Vawser, Stephanie Payne, Abbey Holland, Danny Jarratt.

Cover Image Danny Jarratt Printer Newstyle Design & Production Consultants Georgie Smith & Aaron Harvey

Verse Magazine is a platform for students to express their opinions freely, and we do not favour one opinion over another. All students were invited to submit to this edition.

The pieces and opinions included in this 'Sex Edition' are the students who wished to share their voice and showcase the diversity within the university.

Figures seen in images are not (unless specified) the subject spoken of.

The views expressed in this magazine are not necessarily representative of the views of USASA or the editors. contact@versemag.com.au www.versemag.com.au

instagram.com/versemagazine

facebook.com/Versemagadelaide

Original Cover Image by Danny Jarratt Cover text by Rachael Sharman

@versemag_adl Verse Magazine is brought to you by Edition 18 2017

1

Editor’s Letter Head Editor | Caitlin Tait

My heart couldn’t be more full. Thank you.

I’ve laughed and cried and been inspired by the pieces put forth for this edition. I thank each of you for your submissions, for your bravery in writing, drawing, or photographing your stories. For allowing us to celebrate you.

As a woman, and also as a part of the LGBQTI+ community, I understand the importance and relief in finding safe spaces. We hope you feel right at home between these pages and find a part of yourself reflected back.

It’s a privilege to print and champion these stories – with their diversity and importance of being told.

All identities are valid, and all experiences are valid. And I am grateful.

Thank you.

2

Edition 18 2017

Contents Edition 18 | September - October 2017

02 Editor’s Letter

Page 06

05 Index and Glossary of Identities 06 Playing Hopscotch with Identity 08 I'm a Transgender Man 10 Swipe Left for Maslow 11 Love 12 The Big Nothing 14 By Definition 17 A Mix For: Getting Intimate 18 Imagination 20 My Body is Your Mosque

Page 14

21 Goodbye Contraception, Hello Sex Drive!

22 One and The Same 24 A Little 25 Roots 26 Why Our Time in the Sun will Never Come 28 In[ter]view: Amy Moten 32 You Suck at Orgasms 34 Imag[in]e: Danny Jarrett 46 VOX: Student Voice

Page 57

48 September Calendar 49 USASA Student President Report 50 A Good Body can do it's own Asking 51 The First Woman I Fell in Like With 52 My First Time 54 Miss Brightside 56 My Checklist 57 A Toast to Us 58 The Pill and Depression 60 Adult Entertainment Store Reviews 62 Horoscopes

Edition 18 2017

3

d e r o s n e

unc

Let’s

x

t se u o b a k tal

Throughout September you can collect a free sexual health pack from your USASA campus counter!

The pack contains: • A booklet with some useful info • A condom • A lube sachet • A dam • A sticker • A Chupa Chup • All in an inconspicuous calico drawstring bag!

Developed with SHINE SA, the pack aims to answer questions about sexual health.

Visit USASA.sa.edu.au/Uncensored to read the info in private.

4

Edition 18 2017

Words by Caitlin Tait

INDEX and

Glossary of Identities A g e n d er S o m e on e wh o do e s n o t a l i g n w i th a n y g e n d er, i d e n t i f ie s a s b e i n g g e n d er n eut r a l .

Asexual S o m e on e wh o h a s l i t tl e s e x u a l at t r a c t ion a n d /or i n t er e s t i n s e x u a l a c t i v i t y.

Bisexual S o m e on e wh o i s s e x u a l l y/r o m a n t ic a l l y at t r a c t e d t o p e opl e of th e s a m e g e n d er a n d o th er g e n d er s .

C i s g e n d er S o m e on e wh o s e g e n d er a l i g n s w i th th e biol o g ic a l s e x th e y w er e a s s i g n e d w i th at bi r th .

G ay S o m e on e wh o i s at t r a c t e d t o p e opl e of th e s a m e g e n d er – t y p ic a l l y m e n at t r a c t e d t o m e n , but a l s o wo m e n at t r a c t e d t o wo m e n .

G e n d er f l u i d S o m e on e wh o s e g e n d er i d e n t i t y a n d g e n d er e x pr e s s ion fa l l s a n d sh i f t s a l on g th e s p e c t r u m .

I n t er s e x S o m e on e wh o i s b or n w i th ph y s ic a l , h or m on a l , or g e n e t ic fe at u r e s , r e s u l t i n g i n a b o d y th at c a n ’ t b e e a s i l y c at eg or i s e d a s e i th er m a l e or fe m a l e .

T h o s e wh o a r e i n t er s e x a r e of t e n s ubj e c t t o s u rg er ie s for th e i r e x t er n a l g e n i t a l s t o f i t w i th wh at i s ‘ t y p ic a l ’ of e i th er a m a n or wo m a n . T h e s u rg er ie s a r e of t e n don e wh e n you n g, wh e n th e ch i l d c a n n o t c on s e n t .

L e sbi a n Wo m e n wh o a r e at t r a c t e d t o o th er wo m e n .

L G BT Q I+ T h e a cr on y m u s e d for th o s e wh o i d e n t i f y a s n on -h e t er o s e x u a l a n d /or n on - c i s g e n d er.

T h e a cr on y m i n cl u d e s l e sbi a n , g ay, bi s e x u a l , t r a n s g e n d er, i n t er s e x – h o w e v er th e e x p a n d e d v er s ion i n cl u d e s i n t er s e x , p a n s e x u a l , a n d o th er i d e n t i t ie s .

Non bi n a r y S o m e on e wh o s e g e n d er i d e n t i t y i s n o t m a l e or fe m a l e , but s o m e wh er e a l on g th e s p e c t r u m . T h i s i s s i m i l a r t o g e n d er f l u i d .

Pan sexual S o m e on e wh o i s s e x u a l l y/r o m a n t ic a l l y at t r a c t e d t o p e opl e of a l l g e n d er s .

P r on ou n s H er/sh e , h e / h i m , th e y/ th e m a r e e x a mpl e s of pr on ou n s . T h o s e wh o i d e n t i f y a s g e n d er f l u i d , n on bi n a r y, or a l on g th e g e n d er s p e c t r u m , m ay ch o o s e t o u s e th e y/ th e m pr on ou n s .

A s k i n g for pr on ou n s , a n d u s i n g th e c or r e c t pr on ou n s a r e s i mpl e a n d ef fe c t i v e w ay s of r e s p e c t i n g a n d a f f i r m i n g i d e n t i t ie s Q ue er S o m e on e wh o i s n o t h e t er o s e x u a l a n d /or c i s g e n d er. I n th e p a s t , th e i d e n t i t y m e a n t s o m e th i n g s i m i l a r t o ‘g ay’, a n d w a s a l s o u s e d a s a n i n s u l t . H o w e v er, th e L G B Q T I+ c o m mu n i t y h av e m a d e w av e s i n r e cl a i m i n g th e wor d .

T r a n s g e n d er A n a d j e c t i v e u s e d for th o s e wh o s e g e n d er i d e n t i t y do e s n o t a l i g n w i th th e biol o g ic a l s e x a s s i g n e d t o th e m at bi r th .

T h i s i n cl u d e s th o s e a s s i g n e d fe m a l e at bi r th but i d e n t i f y a s a b o y/m a n , a n d th o s e a s s i g n e d m a l e at bi r th but i d e n t i f y a s a g i rl /wo m a n .

D i s cl a i m er : S e x a n d g e n d er a r e t wo s ep a r at e th i n g s . H o w yo u i d e n t i f y on th e g e n d er a n d /or s e x u a l i t y s p e c t r u m i s n o t a ch o ic e , a n d c a n b e f l u i d o v er e a ch p er s on’s l i fe t i m e .

Edition 18 2017

5

Words by Madison Kennewell | Images by Nicole Faiello

Explaining sexual orientation is far more complicated than it strictly needs to be.

For starters, there are the standard self-identifiers you get given in your ‘Sexuality 101’ class: ‘homosexual’, ‘gay’, ‘lesbian’, ‘heterosexual’ and ‘bisexual’, before you branch off into less known but ever-growing terms like ‘pansexuality’, ‘asexuality’, ‘demisexuality’ and ‘queer’.

These terms, for better or worse, are loaded with history, politics, assumed behaviours and identify specific communities with wildly complicated history relating to other communities. They are important, and they are needed – even if I don’t personally need them myself.

It’s not that I don’t understand that for many, these terms, with their history and politics and behaviours aren’t incredibly important. These words are important because they tell a historical narrative through which I benefit – If it hadn’t been for the campaigns and fights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people before me, I wouldn’t have either the opportunity or freedom to shrug and declare myself to vaguely ‘just be really into people y’know?’.

These terms work to help to explain who we are as people, how we relate to history and politics, and help us build the lives we want to lead. There is an incredible power in words that can only be accessed by declaring who we are and what we aspire to be. It’s just that these words don’t work for me and fundamentally, I don’t care about finding that one very specific self-identifier.

I’ve at one point or another hopscotched through a dozen terms, shrugged my shoulders and went ‘good enough (for today)’.

It’s a very indulgent thing to say when the world is still fighting for basic human rights, including to safely identify themselves with one of these terms. Most people have had their own fights; with themselves, with family, with friends and employers. In contrast, I empathize but don’t relate to these stories. I’m very fortunate to have been born in the time and place that

I was, where I never had a crushing intense sexuality realisation to upend my life but a general personal feeling that gender only matters when you’re thinking of what kinds of contraception you need to use.

By not identifying with a specific term to represent me, it has always called into question my history: Who have I dated, what have I done? Have I heard about the fluidity of sexuality? This typically ends with someone well-meaning offering me a term I did not want, and giving me a detailed explanation of what they think it means as if it were a rare jewel on a royal pillow.

There is an incredible power in words that can only be accessed by declaring who we are and what we aspire to be.

Certainly, I have used these terms in the past: lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, fluid-sexuality, gay. Sometimes in succession, sometimes simultaneously to different people.

It’s that I don’t have an attachment to any specific term to identify and apply a narrative to my life. I made a conscious choice to stop roughly estimating who I am to describe a sexual orientation that has never changed.

The fact that people are willing to have this discussion and to educate others is a sign that times are certainly changing. I always will maintain that these terms are vital for so many people, but I will always maintain that for some, they aren’t.

There are so many ways to live a life as authentic to your inner self as possible, and if a specific term, a range of terms or none at all, helps you to do that, then I am incredibly joyous that you’ve found your way. I appreciate the history that has come before me, and I hope another generation is born into a world, just a little bit better than mine.

But at the end of the day, laissez-faire: as long as you’re not hurting anybody, have fun kids.

Edition 18 2017

7

I'm a Transgender Man Words by Anonymous | Images by Charlotte Rollinson

8

Edition 18 2017

I didn’t know what “transgender” meant until I was sixteen. In my youth, I would hear the term “transsexual” as it went through one ear and out the other; my 8-year-old peers joked about a “he-she” where I couldn’t see the humour; sex-ed taught me about the way a female and male body “should be,” never questioning a thing.

I always knew something felt wrong. I think other people did, too When my friends and I would discuss our sexualities, only I could access a deeper layer of insecurity that came to light and saw me to years of despair and the beckoning of hospital beds. I couldn’t have imagined I would reach the point I’m at now: facial hair that I need to trim, a deep voice that can not be ignored, and the speaking of “sir” when I’m called upon. It wasn’t always like this, but it could have been.

When people say my name, it feels like home.

When we speak of “privilege”, it can be spat with such contempt, scoffing at the joke of “cisgender privilege”, like one could never have the experience of waking up to a hostile scene well-rounded, when we can hate ourselves as much as we do. Slouching from years of neglecting my posture, and the constant reassessment of my semifeminine canter; waiting for a free cubicle and fearing being spat on.

Or worse.

The names being called from distant voices on the streets can not drown my confidence in sense of self. This man cannot be brought down by the meek mockeries made of him on these streets, on the television, in the papers, or from the mouths of those he thought he could trust. When people say my name, it feels like home. I may hear my dead one in a context not relevant to myself, and it’s nothing short of a knife in the chest. And they can never understand.

Educating is draining and it took just as long for myself to figure out what kind of beast lay underneath the layers of a woman I was never made to be. I can do my best to make these experiences known, but it’s just one pin in the board. Some break. Some never make it to begin with. But to hold up everything I am and everything I stand for is a practiced feat, a man who wishes his muscular strength came more naturally, though the strength of the mind has already surpassed any limits.

From the young girl who never knew who he yet was to be, to the man with the biggest smile anyone’s seen in years: he is here and he is living, and has the strength to keep on giving.

Edition 18 2017

9

Creativity, Morality

Confidence, Respect for others & for self, Responsibility, Achievement

Friendship/ Family Relationships, Sexual Intimacy Security of Body, Health, Family, Employment, Resources, Home, Property

Breathing, Food, Water, Sex, Sleep, Shelter, Homeostasis, Wife, Internet Access

Words by Bridgette Minuzzo | Images by Rachael Sharman Maslow, answer me, why is it In your hierarchy of human needs That sex is descripted as essential physiology, With breathing, food, water, shelter, sleep?

Is it that as a man, you separate out sexual intimacy Placing it two tiers up on your hierarchy?

And divorce the sexual act by another tier From the concept of respect?

Perhaps your pyramid needs a feminist tweak So that men can understand what women seek.

Your dating profile values thus expressed Alas poor Maslow, I’d be swiping left.

10

Edition 18 2017

love* One of my middle names is Valentine. Named after Saint Valentine himself, the king of love. I have loved love ever since I was a little girl. I was the makeshift priest at my kindergarten; marrying 3 year olds on the small hill behind the sandpit, after naptime. I knew everything about love. All the girls would come to me to discuss their marriage problems. Everything was simple back then. ‘He put sand in your hair because he obviously likes you Matilda’, I would explain. I understood love and what it meant to love someone.

As I grew up, I witnessed everyone around me falling in love and it made my heart smile. But then something happened. Everything stopped being as simple as it was in kindergarten. Love became complicated.

Instead of sand in girls hair, it was blood. “He hurt you because he likes you Matilda,” didn’t really make sense to me anymore. My idea of love changed as I realised that violence isn’t a boys way of saying he loves you.

My younger self gasped at this idea. If a boy pushed you in the playground, he liked you – plain and simple.

What changed? Why are boys still pushing girls in playgrounds and kissing their bruises. Why are boys inflicting pain on girls only to say sorry and be called a good man. A romantic. I thought I understood love.

Maybe I need to change my name.

Words by Evangeline Polymeneas | Images by Indigo Cherry *This piece has no intention to suggest that boys and men cannot be victims of domestic violence, or that these roles can't be changed. For the sake of flow, these pronouns have been chosen.

THE BIG NOTHING

Navigating your libido is hard work.

Add depression to the mix, and your experience as a gay man is challenged.

“Oh you just download Grindr, that’s it right?”

I heard this from a colleague when the lads from work and I were having dinner the other week. To me, nothing epitomises that very real connection between gay men and sex. When the age of consent debate was happening in the UK in the early 90s, critics were quick to point out that there is, for the heteronormative mainstream, a firm (no pun intended) association between gay men and sex, and a focus on sodomy – anal sex – overriding fundamental human desires such as love and intimacy with another person.

Words by Stuart Jefferies | Images by Poppy Fitzpatrick

For people like me, that person is someone of the same gender. As a gay man, I feel this burden upon me almost constantly to be free and flirty and to be getting funky with it on a regular basis. Perhaps it doesn’t help I’m in a group chat with a bunch of Grindr-using, gay clubattending homosexuals (who are all lovely), but I always

feel at odds with them, especially as, for me, they’re a microcosm of the gay community. Inside and out of this world, there is an expectation for sexual liberation like it was 1976 again and AIDS never happened. I could talk at length about AIDS stigma as a homosexual male but that’s a completely different diatribe. The reason I feel near-constant distance from myself and the rest of the gay community is, ironically, something that, as empirical evidence has shown, is shared with many queer people: depression.

absolutely love to. Perhaps it’s my curse. The best times of my life have been spent with wonderful, gorgeous, compassionate women. The people I’m closest to in my little creative writing course clique are women – although one is non-binary but previously identified as female.

How can I have sex when I feel, to sound cliché, nothing? I know this is very TMI but I don’t even get morning wood.

My penis and I are not communicating, like a married couple sharing different beds – not that there is anything to communicate with. An ordinary assessment of this situation would be to assume that my overcast mind is now being properly rained upon because I can’t function sexually on top of everything else. But there’s no core urge, no drive, no wild sense of lust. Perhaps it’s because I endured four breakups every year since about 2013.

True, I’m not without fault. This last breakup has taken perhaps the heaviest toll – immediate and shattering. I’m still not certain if that’s worse than the protracted trauma following a previous nine-month relationship sending me to therapy in 2016, two years after things ended. My former partner and I were together basically a year so it’s miraculous I’m doing this well. But I still know I’m different – despite sharing what many other queer people have in common with me, which unfortunately is mental illness.

My penis and I are not communicating, like a married couple sharing different beds – not that there is anything to communicate with.

I’ve never been much of a voracious “hornbag” as someone joked the other day, describing myself more as a cuddler – cute af, I know. But I digress. Perhaps I’m affected differently than other people, or perhaps I don’t use sex as a means to achieve a quick emotional fix after a breakup like scores of other people I know. Hell, my last ex said he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship but less than six months later he was dating someone else. Go figure.

My current former partner, who only broke up with me just over a month ago (as of August 2), told me he’s been on a date and has been getting with random guys (like didn’t need to know but thank you anyway).

It’s a strange feeling, again ironically, to feel almost nothing at all – though usually I can laugh, and

Either way, I love them all. I love animals, too. My cat, Cooper, is my best friend and has kept me coming in the last month every day since the first moment of the breakup. Unconditional love.

It doesn’t matter whether I’m interacting with heterosexual men, which is pretty much my whole department at work, or whether I’m engaging with some fellow gays: I still feel that distance. But at the same time, I’ve learned to embrace it; I’ve become accustomed to it and comfortable with who I am. I’ve always enjoyed being different, and thoroughly enjoy being gay. Even though some people have tried to tell me I should be ashamed about it, I never have – and yes, I have had that argument with some dickhead at uni. But I digress.

Gay men are intrinsically linked to sex, which is why it was so pure and heart-warming to see depictions such as the blossoming relationship between Isak and Even, for example, on the Norwegian show Skam. I could use other examples, and most of them are from European cinema which tends to inhabit a softer, more intimate gaze of its queer characters. This link between sex and gay men isn’t going away anytime soon, but I thought I’d add my two cents as someone who doesn’t fit that mould – even though I’m immediately expected to because of my sexuality. Thankfully, as with the rest of human society, not everyone is exactly alike.

Edition 18 2017

13

Words by Nicole O'Rielley | Illustration by Jessica Collicelli

By Definition Slut: (n) a woman who engages in casual sex with multiple partners By definition, I am a slut. So fuck you. Here I am.

This 'label' is foreign to me though. I've never seen myself as a slut. I see myself as someone who enjoys sex. And in my universe those two things are very different. In my universe, slut is a unisex word I would use to describe a person who disrespects the act of sex.

A slut is a person who disrespects the people they are having sex with.

And maybe you disagree with me (which is probable seeing as I can never step foot in your universe, and you can never step foot in mine), but why demonise me?

I navigate my sexuality under a blanket of morals and rules that I believe honour the sanctuary of sex whilst being a downright whore (and loving it.)

I talk about sex a lot. I'm open to the discussion regardless of your gender or sexuality. I am genuinely and non-pervertedly interested in your sexual experiences. What turns you on? Do you like giving head? Why? Why not? What makes you feel beautiful?

Why were they the best you ever had? And I'm actively listening. Every conversation I have with someone, I leave feeling enlightened. Every new perspective a person gifts you is power—it's knowledge. The more you know about sex, the more you appreciate everyone's unique sexuality, the better at sex (and navigating the social/ emotional dynamics of sex) you become.

So why don't you keep your unwanted options to yourself, sit back, shut up and maybe take notes?

Because this slut is an emotionally intelligent, strong, respectful woman. You're just pissed because I'm having better sex than you are.

Be honest about your intention If you're looking for casual sex, tell it how it is. We're not mind readers. We have no way of knowing what the emotional state of the person we're fraternising with is or what they're currently looking for in a partner. Why not save weeks of tedious bullshit, obsessive thoughts and the fear of hurting someone’s feelings and just ask—or tell.

See, if I want to get down with someone I'll let them know before the encounter takes place (if possible).

When I shoot off that message, I'm straight up. It's: hey, I'm in the mood to hang out and fool around, let me know if you're down. And hey, you might look at that behaviour and think, ‘Shit, Nicole is throwing her vagina around like a goddamn frisbee’. But in my universe, I'm being polite. I'm allowing the other person to process my desire and allow them to make the decision in their own space where they're not going to feel pressured or obligated to do something they don't want to do.

Take charge of your sexuality There. Is. Nothing. Desperate. About. Actively. Seeking.

Sex. If you're thirsty, you go to the kitchen, you get a glass and you turn on the tap. You don't just put your cup outside and sit around waiting for it to rain so you can be satisfied.

Read the vibe You hit them up and they didn't reply? Who cares. Don't mourn that loss. Own your shit. Think about what a great fuck you are and how sorely they just missed out. Then

move on. There's no point wasting time on people that don't have time for you, casual or not.

Likewise, if you're into someone and you have a sense that the feeling is unreciprocated, why go out of your way to force it? Learn to recognise individuals that see you, and are mutually attracted to you. I guarantee you're going to have much more expressive sex if you hook up with someone that rode into town on the same bus as you, rather than jumping on because they didn't have money for a cab.

Really be friends If you can't hang out with the person in a non-sexual setting and have an enjoyable experience, what's the point? You've had your mouth on places of that person’s body where most mouths don't go. It's an intimate and vulnerable experience. Respect that. Without friendship, how can there be understanding? Without understanding, how can there be care? Without care, how can there be trust?

Learn to separate the lover from the friend This is especially vital if you're into having long term fuck-buddies (me) but worried about the collision course of catching feelings (me). Well, one, you need to accept the reality that if you're going to fall for someone, you're going to fall for them. But sex can be a confusing thing. One minute you're cool, the next they've given you an orgasm, your body is flooding with oxytocin and suddenly you're fictionalising your future together.

Educate yourself! Research what chemical changes

Edition 18 2017

15

occur in your body during sex. It's truly fascinating— and empowering! When you learn about yourself and your unique sexuality you start to understand what certain instinctual reflexes mean and you can take the appropriate steps to avoid being involuntarily heartbroken.

I'm the type of person who enjoys intimate and sensual sex, which is hard because I'm simultaneously floating around trying to keep things mighty, mighty casual. But it's just about setting boundaries (and being flexible with those boundaries as your ride the constant head-fuck of emotions). For me I find it beneficial not to talk over text, only use text to organise catch-ups, as having frequent communication with someone confuses my emotions.

Their boundaries don't match your own?

Respect Like, just don't be a dick, yeah?

But this whole boundaries thing makes a hell of a lot more sense if you respect yourself. Love yourself. Hold yourself up. Look your ego in the mirror and say not everything is about you. If someone doesn't want to do something with you, or no longer wants to do the thing you used to do together, retrain your brain so that your first assumption isn't always that something is wrong with you. You are good enough—but being ‘good enough’ doesn't mean you're what someone else is looking for.

16

Edition 18 2017

Stop thinking that ‘casual’ must walk hand-in-hand with ‘meaningless’ Every single interaction with another human being is a relationship. You have a relationship with every single person you sleep with in one form or another. Even that forced smile of 'oh-sweet-jesus-fuck-no-ah-just-bepolite' is a relationship between you and that person you were wishing you wouldn’t run into. There is something to be learnt from every relationship in your life. Maybe you learnt something about yourself. Or found a new kink. Or they put you onto a great Netflix series. Or showed you an amazing song. Or that shower sex is never as good as you think it will be.

The concept that casual sex is meaningless is really what demonises the slut. There is the idea that there is something wrong with the slut, that the slut is damaged goods. So damaged that they cannot find a stable and loving partner.

Hi, my name is Nicole O'Rielley and I like to fuck— as much as possible. Hi, my name is Nicole O'Rielley and I am in love with human vulnerability; I am in love with the moment; I am in love with finding the meaning in the seemingly meaningless.

But by definition, I am a slut.

Words and illustration by Caitlin Tait

A MIX FOR: GETTING INTIMATE For when you’re feeling yourself or feeling someone else. Winky face.

Special Affair – The Internet Room in Here – Anderson .Paak, The Game, Sonyae Elise On & On – Erykah Badu Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe – Kendrick Lamar Yeah, I Said It – Rihanna Like A Woman – Kacy Hill Motivation – Kelly Rowland, Lil Wayne Company – Tinashe Make It Wit Chu – Queens of the Stone Age I Wanna Be Yours – Arctic Monkeys Rock With You – Michael Jackson Miss You – The Rolling Stones I Want You (She’s So Heavy) – The Beatles Hella Good – No Doubt

Search @VerseMag on Spotify to feel it deeper.

ImaginatIon Words by Connor Reidy | Images by Sash Corowa

What’s your type? Twinks? Masc 4 masc? 50+ year old daddy? Follow this story of self-discovery. And be safe.

Grindr can be a scary place. You start overwhelmed by the possibilities and slapped with questions like: “nsa?” “into?” “what’s your type?” However, after a few months of regrettable hook ups and unsolicited dick pics, sixteen year old me thought I was an expert in the field.

Twinks became a bore and I thought it would be a good idea to explore the community and submit to the pressure of discovering what “my type” was. This would be an expedition and the dangers soon became apparent.

STIs, abuse and humiliation are all too common for our community. These were risks and things I needed to consider before organising to fuck a stranger. However, with my imagination, murder, hostage and becoming the plot line of CSI: SVU all seemed just as logical.

His screen name was “Imagination” because of some philosophical theory from a meditation course he had taken in the midst of a mid-life crisis. He was at least 50. It would be an experience.

Grabbing my shoulder, he pulls me into him, not to murder but instead to embrace.

We meet at a public location and I message a friend to call me in three hours to see if I’m still alive. I put on my Spotify playlist, channel Lana Del Rey and hope for the best. As soon as he arrives, I regret everything. He shakes my hand in the way your father does after an academic accomplishment. Each sentence that erupts from his

18

Edition 18 2017

mouth is also concluded with the right side of his face quickly contracting three times, before returning to normal.

He has a twitch.

We arrive at the apartment and his final words are: “Wait five minutes. Take the back exit. Get in the lift. I’m on the eighth floor. If anyone asks who you are, say that you’re visiting an aunt and you think she lives in this building. I’ll meet you there. Knock on my door when the hallway is empty.”

Followed, of course, by the twitch.

I obey the meticulous orders and without realising, there I am standing in this tiny bachelor pad. It suddenly dawns on me what I am getting myself into and before I know it I am standing on his balcony. He is a very kind man, but a sense of the unknown acts like a magnet and draws together fear and my imagination: there could be a roofie in this glass of water, I could easily be thrown off that balcony, what if that really is a gun in his pocket?

He starts towards me with his arms up. I flinch as I watch my life flash before my eyes, but really all there is to see are miserable days in middle school, church camps and masturbation.

Grabbing my shoulder, he pulls me into him, not to murder but instead to embrace. Holding me to his chest, he hugs me. I think the intention is to calm my nerves, instead I am just awkwardly pressed against his dad-bod with my arms dangling.

And then comes the tour of his apartment; “This is the balcony,” “The living room,” “The bathroom,” “Laundry,” “My son’s room,” “The toilet,” “And this is my room.”

Hold up. Surely this wasn’t something I had imagined.

I ask a few questions, attempting to make it seem I am fine with it, but the boy’s identity remains ambiguous. He’s only ever referred to as Junior and I’m told he’s my age and height. I try to imagine each of my friends with a nickname like it, but luckily no one fits the description.

Nevertheless, we did the deed.

It was quite enjoyable until an interruption when the front door creaks open and thinking it is Junior, I am thrown into the closet to hide. For a second, I consider remaining there forever and never coming out again. It’s safer here and free from the pressures of Grindr that I’ve now discovered mid-pubescent me is not prepared for at all.

He returns to rescue me and says that the interruption was just his imagination.

I walked out of the apartment, feeling guilty, lit a cigarette and messaged my friend: “I’m alive and deleting Grindr.”

I call you five times a day to pray in me from dawn to night come at once as God does say This worship is the highest delight Knock my door with humility Take off your hubris and greed for loving a lover takes a dignity beyond meeting a shallow need Whisper your hello to my ear with the chants humming your longing slowly pass through my neck pillar Wander around till you hear the moaning Come into me with your deepest self culminated feeling for God's love My body is God's land on earth Water me; I am in drought Close your eyes as you remember by heart My curves and edges that don't lie To the sky our souls depart for having Eden you don't have to die

Do you feel our unity A long lost soul craving for home In my mosque of tranquility you roar at the top of my dome Stay inside me for a longer pray as a sinful man asked for absolution It's my order; now you obey It's our redemption, our salvation My body is your mosque and you finish your worship Purified soul hasn't been lost unsaid words sealed by kissing lips My body is your mosque Not a shopping mall, not a kiosk you bring me your inner peace and I pack you home some release.

Words by Arnis Silvia

20

Edition 18 2017

GOODBYE CONTRACEPTION HELLO SEX DRIVE! Words by NV.Smith | Pattern by Emma Cuppleditch | Illustration by Chandler Saing

The pill can come with side effects. Clear skin, minimal cramps… Low sex drive.

Smith has found a new world leaving the pill behind.

The first time I had sex I was 16 and I hated it. I promptly broke up with my then boyfriend and decided that sex wasn’t for me. That year I went on the pill. Not for birth control but because as a Middle Eastern lady I was blessed with a large amount of hair that covered my whole body. I used to come home crying from school because of this burden. So my mother and I decided to ask the doctor for advice. She promptly put me on the pill. This didn’t really do anything for my ‘hairy’ situation but it came in handy when I finally found a new boy I wanted to bone. The sex was fine even though it was in the back of his car down the road from my house. I didn’t really know what an orgasm was yet or if it was something I could indeed experience. According to Dolly Doctor, some women never experience it so I thought I was one of those unlucky few.

Relationship after relationship I was on and off the pill.

Condoms were always an issue because the men in my life were constantly complaining that they just didn’t feel right. Fast track to my early twenties where I had been off the pill and sex free for a while. I met the first guy that wanted to go ‘downtown’ on me. Holy mother of god! What was this magic? Why didn’t I know this was possible before? Well as you would imagine I started dating this unicorn man and I went back on contraception; this time Implanon, because you know, it was the easiest option. After a few months I realised I couldn’t get off when he had a ‘one-on-one conversation with my cat’. What was wrong with me? After 20 minutes I started just pretending to get off because I didn’t want him to feel embarrassed. It wasn’t him, it was me.

Was I thinking too much? Maybe I’m just not that into it anymore.

I was still not that confident in my own skin to tell him how I felt so I lived with this mediocre ‘faux-gasm’ for a while. As time went on our relationship diminished along with my sex drive and I ended up convincing myself that sex isn’t that great and I didn’t need it anyway. For my birthday the next year my girlfriend took me to a sex shop and bought me my first vibrator. I definitely didn’t wait to try out my new toy and I realised that toys were pretty f**king good at getting me off.

What I didn’t realise straight away was that it wasn’t the people between my sheets or my mind keeping me dry, but those damn little pills that had deprived me of having a mind blowing orgasmic sex. After that, I banished all female contraception from my body and opened my legs and my mind to the best sex I’ve been having for a long time.

One and The Same Words by Victoria Knight | Images by Arviegail Cahilig

A TV show might help with your identity.

Shout it with Glee.

So, I decided to sit down and write out the following in all its glory. So, here’s my coming out story - or as I prefer to call it, “How months after the fact, my best friend told me that she knew I was bisexual before I did because of the worst Glee self-insert original character to ever grace my keyboard.”

Granted, for the title I want, we need a little context.

Glee, for those unaware (though, honestly, I’ve yet to meet an LGBT+ person who doesn’t at least have a basic knowledge of it) was a show about a high school glee club and their quest to win show choir competitions.

Amid that, the show explored the trials and tribulations that high school brings – friendships, bullying, relationship and breakups, pretty standard stock. And then, in the sea of heterosexual romance and drama, there were a few characters that weren’t straight. Two of them were Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson, a gay couple that was the apple of the fandom’s eye.

Spoiler alert: despite all that drama, they ended up getting married in the last season in a double-same-sex marriage extravaganza. I truly do not have enough room to explain it all. Just take my word for it.

I loved Glee for a long time, and my favourite couple on the show was Klaine (that's Kurt and Blaine together portmanteaus were a fanfiction writer's best friend). But, at the time, I saw a glaring gap of potential that me and my basic writing skills could fill. In my infinite wisdom,

22

Edition 18 2017

I figured that Blaine, my favourite character of the two, needed a best friend. One who was an alternative-esque girl who loved The Cure, Converse sneakers and loudly announcing her opinion to anyone who would listen.

(Cue an image of me circa 2011 with dyed black hair and just an offensively awful side fringe, plus a penchant for everything above) For those who have been either fortunate or unfortunate enough to never encounter fanfiction, it's where you write stories about characters and shows, movies or books that already exist. An original character is just as it suggests - a character of your own which you place into an already existing world. And an offshoot of that was a self-insert original character, a usually-blatant representation of the author within the work. No prizes for guessing which character category my character fell in.

Through the course of the story, Delia went through a lot of struggles that I now know were my own, that I needed to work through and decompress through fiction.

Her name was Delia and she was my first unintentional self-insert. As mentioned, she was bisexual - confidently so - one thing which I was most certainly not. And it wasn't because I was denying it, but I also wasn’t accepting it.

It just wasn’t on the radar. I was only 14 at the time – I was a little fat kid who struggled with body image and certainly didn’t think about relationships. It seemed too practical to think about my sexuality - broadening the spectrum of people who didn't want to date me? I was okay without that, thank you.

Through the course of the story, Delia went through a lot of struggles that I now know were my own, that I needed to work through and decompress through fiction. She was there when I needed her, which meant that I wrote a lot when I was struggling a lot. Conversely, that also meant that she was a character who stopped writing abruptly – not so much because I didn’t need her, but because I started year 12 and my priorities needed to shift. Her story is still out there in its unfinished glory on the internet. Delia and I parted ways and for various reasons, we've never met again. Mainly because I can't re-read that story without feeling physical pain.

I didn't think about the story or Delia for probably about eighteen months afterwards. At that point I was getting a little older and had started to gradually understand I was bisexual. When I realised this, I wanted people to know, so I started with my best friend. This isn't verbatim in the least, but you can get the gist. It started with us talking about something or other to do with sexuality, and then something to do with bisexuality specifically. Specifics aside, I told her that I was bisexual.

"You know I knew that," said the Best Friend.

"What? How?" "Uh… Delia?"

At this point, it was time to hold up. Delia was a distant, awkward memory at this point. After some more conversation, I found out that my friend had suspected that Delia was pretty much me from the get-go. That she had known I was bisexual since before my 14-year-old brain could process it.

And well, she got it in one.

This was only the beginning of my coming out journey – there are people I’m not out to yet, stories about my bisexuality that I have yet to tell (like the way I came out to a bunch of strangers via an article, perhaps?). But this is always going to be the first story. And as first stories typically are, it’s a little embarrassing. I try to cut myself slack, because I know that my experience is not unique.

You don’t always have that internal moment where you realise you’re not straight. It so often comes externally, through the people, events and media that surround people at the right time in their lives for them to work things out.

This might seem like it’s just a funny little coming out story, but I suppose it’s a love letter to Delia, and everyone who might have a story like this. There’s no right way to work out your sexuality. You might not have that one person who was your sexual awakening, you might not have that spark of a moment where your life changed. You might only have a show about a glee club, some fanfiction and a character to project your experience onto – and honestly, sometimes, that’s enough.

Edition 18 2017

23

Words by Rubina Chitrakar | Images by Indigo Cherry My eyes open to an infant morning when you trace the curve of my face, with slightly more than a smile and warm up to me like flowers on a cotton bed, I melt just a little, just enough for you to savor the taste of supple.

The assurance of your embrace is a herald of the flight my inbound solitude is to take, and your soft kisses thaw my hardened heart with the warmth warmer than the orange sun, I start feeling again, when you take me to a world beyond, where reality is a little above feral fantasy.

The sheets move like waves creating ripples poignant of our thoughts, spread with the charm of our love and the mountains move like a reminder of the wonder our togetherness creates, each ripple infusing a touch of your aura in me, rising from your beautiful body to the amour of spirits reveling in euphoric ecstasy.

As our fingers entwine with contentment, so do our souls, and when your presence completes my once forsaken half world, I am in bliss, more than just a little, more than just a memory to behold.

24

Edition 18 2017

wild flowers kiss the plastic bouquet even though he's merely a pretty thing to look at to lay on and to make plastic love to. her stems weave through his hair and take root, turn soil. pulled petals from her eyes pool around his words; 'I love you.' plastic in form and in meaning.

roots

Words by Annabel Bowles | Images by Rachael Sharman

Are millennials doing The Deed more than our parents were? No. Why not? Bianca Iovino tells us why.

Words by Bianca Iovino | Images by William Hill

26

Edition 18 2017

Millennials. I, myself, am one. The topic evokes an eye roll or seething resentment from Gen X and their elder Baby Boomers. We cop a lot of flak, but we have a lot on our plate and it’s playing havoc with our love-lives.

A study has shown millennials are having less sex during their twenties than our ancestors due to life stressors.

A minority may be giving the rest of us a bad rep, but most of us are actually quite concerned at the decline of housing and job availability; not to mention university’s shrivelling fruitily AND how expensive it is just to live day-to-day.

Stress is proven to have enormous impact on the libido.

So, even if we do feel like getting our freak on, I’m not surprised flaccidity is an issue because you’re too busy over analysing why it cost your weekly wage for a soy latte and avocado on toast while your parents watch Q&A in the lounge room. There’s only so much scented candles can do.

If we compare someone in their twenties today to what my mum and nanna were doing in their twenties, there’s a stark difference.

Being twenty then: pre-social media, online porn, the Kardashians etcetera. Often being born into the world with two cohabiting parents who may or may not loathe each other. Stumble through childhood and adolescence scaling trees, smoking in the toilets and piling into cars with boys.

… you shot out the womb after your dad chanted “ATAR, bachelors, honours, masters’ at your grapefruit sized body for nine months.

Come eighteen, if you stuck with school, venture onto university or fall into a job with your nan’s neighbour’s sister’s cousin. If you DID decide school wasn’t for you, you’d still be able to work which got you out of your rents’ house and into your own pad. Your only nutrients may have come from mum’s Sunday lunch when you came ‘round to do your washing, but you still got to have whoever you liked over without people asking whose car was parked in the driveway.

Being twenty now: you shot out the womb after your dad chanted “ATAR, bachelors, honours, masters” at your grapefruit sized body for nine months. Fragmented families are the norm and you pile the angst of it happening to you on top of all the other adult concepts swirling around your pre-teen mind. Trudge through high school to embark on the mental breakdown titled “year 12”. You find yourself crying over B pluses and it’s not much difference in university. Only there’s a miasma of despair due to your degree being pointless because there are no jobs and the government is expecting HECS debt repayments from your casual job at Big W. Don’t think about moving out because you’ll pay close to a million dollars to live in an area where you won’t get stabbed, but your car may be stolen by a Gen-X methhead who can’t deal with their midlife crisis. Renting is no better because it’s “dead money” so you’re back to stuffing things under your mattress to help it stop squeaking when you’ve got a lad over, and fending for yourself come dinner time because your mum has more of a social life than you do.

No wonder we aren’t doing the deed as often. As if the odds weren’t bad enough, we also must contend with a new breed called “fuck boys” and if we can’t get the right selfie angle, the chances of trying to get someone to swipe right on your Tinder profile is naught.

Edition 18 2017

27

EALED [SEX]TION SEALED [SEX]TION SEALED [SEX]TION SEALED [SEX]TIO

In[ter]view Verse Mag’s Regular Interview Answered by SHINE SA’s Medical Educator Amy Moten

This edition we talked to Amy from SHINE SA who is answering all your questions when it comes to the 'what's this' and 'how do I check that' of sex.

SHINE SA offers services for relationships and sexual health (including STI’s and contraception), as well as being a safe and inclusive space for all genders and sexualities. www.shinesa.org.au

Read on and get ed

28

Edition 18 2017

ucated

What should I be tested for?

All sexually active people under the age of 30 should have a test for chlamydia and hepatitis B. You could also consider a HIV and syphilis test. This can depend on your chance of exposure to these STIs and your doctor may ask some questions to assess this. Men who have sex with men should have an annual test for chlamydia, gonorrhoea, HIV and syphilis.

Also a check for hepatitis A and B status and vaccination if not immune. People from Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander backgrounds also have specific testing guidelines.

How often should people who are sexually active get tested?

You should have a test when symptoms of a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) are first noticed or if a sexual partner is diagnosed with an STI or has symptoms of an STI. Even if you have no symptoms STI screening is recommended for any new sexual contact.

Annual screening for people under 30 is recommended, but you can have a test every 3 months if you think you may be at higher risk.

Why is the rate of HIV rising again lately?

Most STIs are undetectable, particularly in the early stages.

ere you, or is th t s te P G r u to?

Will yo octor to go a different d S TI test,

an to give you uld be able ced or n ie Your GP sho er p s are as ex P G l al have ot n If you don’t however s as others.

TI S h it ur w yo le g n comfortab able aski not comfort e ar al r o xu P, se G ialised a regular n access spec ca u yo s, TI 275.

GP about S SA or Clinic es at SHINE ic rv se h lt ea h e, you see someon on’t want to d ly al the Get re at u If yo ydia test online chlam d ee fr a et er g can e und 30 an site if you ar eb w ow N d Checke e. have medicar om.au/ eckednow.c www.getch

HIV numbers across Australia aren't rising, they're remaining stubbornly stable. However, with the introduction of Pre Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) in SA we expect to see a decline as has occurred in U.K. and U.S.A.

What is the most common STI/ STD and why is this?

Are STIs in general common?

Chlamydia is the most common STI. There have already been 3742 cases in SA this year and the number of cases each year are rising. There are lots of reasons for this. Chlamydia is easily transmitted through sexual fluids, often has no symptoms and can stay in the body for months.

Some STIs are more common than others.

Chlamydia is 2-3 time higher in SA than the common causes of food poisoning or gastro.

Edition 18 2017

29

EALED [SEX]TION SEALED [SEX]TION SEALED [SEX]TION SEALED [SEX]TIO

Will I know if I have an STI? Most STIs are undetectable, particularly in the early stages. Up to 70% of people with chlamydia have no symptoms. By the time it does cause symptoms you may have already passed it on or have developed long term consequences such as chronic pelvic pain or infertility.

If you do have symptoms they can be pain when urinating, discharge from the vagina or penis, pain in the lower abdomen, pain or bleeding during or after sex or between periods. Some STIs can also infect the anus after anal sex and cause pain.

What is PrEP? Is it relevant to people in a monogamous relationship?

PrEP is a tablet taken every day which reduces the transmission of HIV. It is highly effective and means that couples where one partner is HIV positive can have sex without a condom and not worry about their partner acquiring HIV. It is also useful for people having higher risk sex who are not in a relationship, but still don’t use a condom.

For more information on accessing PrEP in SA go to: www.samesh.org.au/prep.html

For same sex couples, how do you practice ‘safe sex’?

All people in a new relationship should have an STI check before starting to have unprotected sex. People with a penis should use a condom before insertive anal, vaginal and oral sex if there is a risk of STI. For same sex attracted women it’s important to be aware STIs can be passed on through skin to skin contact such as genital to genital, but also finger/hand to genital. Using a dental dam during oral sex can reduce your chance of getting an STI, also using a condom with dildos and properly washing all shared sex toys.

Keeping nails trim can reduce the risk of trauma to the vagina, which reduces your chance of blood borne viruses (BBVs) like HIV, hepatitis and syphilis. The chance of transmission of a BBV is highest during a menstrual period.

What’s ‘norm

al’ down

there?

Penises come in all shapes an d sizes, look different whe n circumcised and also when Vulvas also co erect. me in a variety and generally look nothing lik e the airbrush ed versions se in porn. If you en are worried yo ur s isn’t ‘normal visit the Labia ’, Librar y online.

Get to know yo genitals, don’t ur be afraid of th em, and if anyt changes see a hing doctor or nurs e.

When you give blood there’s an option that asks if you’re a woman who has had sex with a man who may have had sex with another man.

Why is that?

HIV does not discriminate. Anyone who is exposed to HIV can get it. There are, however, groups of people who are more commonly diagnosed with HIV in Australia. Gay men and MSM and people from high prevalence countries (mostly heterosexual) are the key affected populations in South Australia.

Some MSM also have female partners and a woman may acquire HIV from a man who has sex with other men, if that person has HIV. People who are practising safer sex and are aware of their own and their partner’s risk have a lower risk of any STI.

Can you get an STI from oral sex? Why? You can get an STI from receptive oral sex.

Gonorrhoea in particular, likes to live in the throat and this can then be passed back to the genitals. This usually has no symptoms so MSM are recommended to have a throat swab as part of their routine check up. Chlamydia in the throat is rare. Genital herpes can also possibly be transmitted through oral sex, for example if the giver has a ‘cold sore’.

Human papilloma virus (HPV) is transmitted through any form of sexual contact including oral sex. Some types of HPV can increase the risk of cervical cancer, mouth and throat cancers, and anal cancer. It’s important to make sure you have been fully vaccinated.

People with a cervix should follow the recommended guidelines for cervical screening if they have ever had any form of sexual contact.

How can you catch HIV? You don’t really ‘catch’ HIV. HIV is a virus that is transmitted in 3 main ways.

1. Blood to blood contact (e.g. sharing injecting, tattooing or piercing equipment) 2. Sexual contact (e.g. unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse) 3. Mother to child (during pregnancy, childbirth or breastfeeding) HIV can NOT be transmitted via other body fluids such as saliva, urine, sweat, etc. nor can it be transmitted by other types of casual contact (such as kissing, sharing cups, cutlery, toilet seats, etc).

For more information on STIs go to the SHINE SA website at www.shinesa.org.au

32

Edition 18 2017

You Suck at Orgasms Words by Emma Sachsse | Images by Tracey Davis As we, as a society become more and more aware and enlightened about sex, there seems to be more and more pressure on us as individuals to be knowledgeable and sophisticated and just generally up for it and turned on and able to perform instantly.

being the only thing you can get yourself off to. Variety is the spice of life and flexibility comes from stretching.

So make sure you use different techniques, positions, vibrators, fantasies, outfits and scenery if you don’t want that to happen.

You can spend an entire day watching YouTube videos about orgasms and how to have them and still not get through a fraction of them. I know, because I tried. It was weird and interesting but also a bit boring. A lot of them seemed to forget about the whole let's have sex just because it is fun to rub bits of our naked bodies against other bits of other people's naked bodies. Even masturbating was all about the orgasm. It was all pretty serious when it wasn’t hilarious. Try looking up energy orgasms, you can have orgasms without being touched.

Anyway back to complaining about orgasms and how tricky they can be. Because they are slippery little suckers, try too hard, and it won’t happen, get distracted at the wrong moment and they disappear into thin air; kids, cats and dogs can all spell disaster by interrupting you. Or your partner can misinterpret your signals and think that they should CHANGE WHAT THEY ARE DOING at just the wrong moment. By the way, do not do this!

Sex should be fun. And orgasms, when they happen should definitely feel fantastic. I am delighted that women's orgasms are on the “to do” list, but they don’t need to be the only goal.

For lots of women, they just aren't a day to day reality, for some women they don’t happen at all. For others, they can have orgasms just from working out. I want those ones, sure I would have to actually start working out but if I was going to have orgasms maybe I would start working out. But I won’t know unless I start working out so...no.

Oh and just in case you guys think I don’t care about your orgasms. I know some of you men, in fact, more and more of you, are having trouble climaxing when you are having sex. However, if you do your research, you will find that it isn’t because your partner doesn’t have a clue that vaginal sex won’t make you come and you need extra stimulation, preferably of the clitoris.

It is because you have been wanking off to too much internet porn and programmed your brain and your sexual self to come to your hand and your screen, instead of the physical intimacy of another human's body. This can happen to anyone, if you only get yourself off to one thing long enough, that can end up

Sex should be fun. And orgasms, when they happen should definitely feel fantastic. I am delighted that women's orgasms are on the “to do” list, but they don’t need to be the only goal.

There is plenty of advice out there on how to make yourself more orgasmic, and most of it sensibly talks about the physiology and how women aren’t likely to have a “vaginal orgasm”. It is actually all about the clitoris, which is much deeper and larger than we thought. They talk about the psychology of why you may not be okay about sex and relaxing enough to come, and how getting to know your body and masturbating are very helpful. Vibrators are also an excellent investment.

Think about how much you last spent on a great pair of shoes, now spend at least that on a vibrator, I promise you will get a lot more enjoyment out of the vibrator.

So stop making the orgasm the goal. Enjoy the journey.

Take your time. Explore and relish in the pleasure. Relax and savour the moment. Then if you do have an orgasm, bonus.

Edition 18 2017

33

34Idle Hands Editionare 18 2017 the Devils Playground

The artwork of Danny Jarratt

Imag[in]e Verse Mag’s Regular Student Art & Design feature

Words conducted by Rachael Sharman | Images by Danny Jarratt

3rd Year Visual Artist, Danny Jarratt, explores pop culture, queer theory, male form and ethnic representation to express diversity across the canvas. Specialising in painting, he chatted with Rachael Sharman, claiming that “...anyone can make art".

Edition 18 2017

35

Let’s get a background bio first off. Right. Where do your roots lay?

Growing up in Gawler a good 20 years ago it was a ghetto meets country lifestyle. Surrounded by a low socio-economical background, I lived by the creek and it’s strange how much time I’d spend playing in the waters and investigating what was beneath the surface. Without realising, I was quite in tune with nature, the water, the rocks, the grass and the trees that provided close to no shade overhead. It used to calm my nerves and relax me––truly a means of contemplation, realisation and ultimately motivation.

Artists and designers alike have this connection for every move being for some particular reason, as in we choose a colour because it represents such and such and a certain texture to show this feeling. What are you communicating with viewers through your methods?

Prior to attending UniSA, my inspiration and process focused on fan art for television series. I would sell digital prints of my work at comic conventions such as Oz Comic-con, Supanova and AVCon. This was a fun and commercially viable way to create work, however there was something empty about making art that was a copy of another work. It explored my love, but didn’t have anything past the surface.

36

Edition 18 2017

I think now my methods, investigate every aspect of the work. What am I exploring, I question the colours, the marks, the mediums. I want my work to have a level of concept consideration at all levels. I am now exploring diversity, for people, for race, for sexuality (both as an orientation and encompassing term for one’s sex life.) Within my work. I want to communicate to the viewers, there is more than just white TV actors. I want to represent minorities to help breakdown grand narratives, such as gay people are just skinny flamboyant white boys.

When you were younger, perhaps when you were starting to explore the art world and exploring your sexuality, did you ever see the gap of queer representation?

Yes, I did. The only queer representation was sexual and I saw it as perverse. I was put off by the sexual nature and assumed queer people could only make work that was sexual. I didn’t want to be stereotyped as a ‘queer’ artist. Now at 27, I love researching queer artists and their reactions to political and social climates. I am definitely more sex positive now and I carry with me an open mind. It’s labels like ‘slut shaming’ and so forth that have become obsolete, to me.

Edition 18 2017

Snow White

37

Pink Lars

Did travelling contribute to your personal transformation?

Prior to traveling, I had happily dated someone who had over 40 sexual partners. Someone’s sexual history has never really bothered me, I think because I too, have a sexual history. While on exchange, I realised that I couldn’t hold a relationship with a local or someone back in Australia. I used this time to explore sex and cultures. One country I visited was Brunei, a tiny country with amazing healthcare, education and beautiful skies.

Despite the grand narrative of homophobia, I decided to go because of the huge Muslim population. I am vocally defensive of Australian Muslims and I wanted to visit a country with Shakira Law. There’s reported incidents where gay people have been caught out, bashed by people on the street and police, despite all morals, join in. Seeing this, I got nervous. But being there, experiencing it in person, it’s such a beautiful country––everyone smiled. With contextualisation, we see the world through different eyes. The sex I encountered in Brunei was not obscenely different to Australia, however they were very shy and quiet until my AirBnB door was closed haha. I think including sex during travel can be extremely rewarding and a unique inclusion. I didn’t focus on having sex, but it helped me to understand the culture in a unique way.

Edition 18 2017

39

Lust into the Paint

40

Edition 18 2017

In queer art, did you ever see who you wanted to be growing up?

Not so much growing up, but now I idolise Felix Gonzalez-Torres. His work as a queer artist, in the 1980s, we can compare Andy Warhol who did graphic screen prints of people having sex, with Felix’s ideologies. His images represented a stack of papers––inviting people to take them home, and as such he could bring art into the home. Art into everyday. His work transformed into these big amounts of candy. Art was consumed. When his partner passed away of AIDS, it evoked an almost morbid curiosity, an obscene devouring of the flesh. He created large portrait sculptures of candy, weighing his partner’s healthy body weight before contracting the disease. Consuming the candy then became this act of consuming his partner.

Consuming queer people without acknowledgment.

Different approaches taken by queer artists has opened my mind.

Do you see your work becoming more sexual?

Yes, I do. I think it’s going more stereotypical, but my approach is different. I’ve definitely opened up, and with that so have my ideas. It was no doubt the inclusion of sex as a way to examine a culture during my travelling influenced my art.

The famous poster by Guerilla Girls asks whether women have to be naked to get into the Met. Museum. It poses a serious question about representation for minorities. With less than 4% of artists in the Met. (According to 2011 statistics) being women, how does that make you feel in regards to the frustration as a part of another minority group and becoming driven for more representation in galleries?

First of all, I can’t believe less than 4% of the Met. are female artists. That’s fucked. But as a minority, it annoys me. Personally, I’m in a weird state as a minority––because I’m white, male, fairly privileged,

and able-bodied––but queer. I still consider myself a minority, and my fight is still strong, but in no way can it be compared to that of another. But by me fighting my fight, it helps other people. If queer becomes more accepted, that gives segue to other things becoming more accepted. I undertook ‘Who’s Afraid of Aboriginal Art’ as a course earlier in the year educating my cultural understanding. I just get very annoyed that art in general is very white washed and male-orientated.

Almost every artist has an Instagram and people can see their stories and find representation a lot easier than they could in, say, a 'typical' art gallery.

Do you think social media is important as a queer artist in finding a sense of community and more representation?

I am totally for social media. I definitely consider it the future and I’m very much accepting of the future.

If it wasn’t for social media I wouldn’t have been able to connect with people while I was travelling. Social media definitely allows queer people to interact in safe spaces, which is very important, especially in countries that are more conservative. But as an artist, I can show what I’m doing, and in turn gather more sales. It makes my career more viable. Between Etsy and Instagram, I mean, the search engine is incredible. Search ‘Teen Wolf’ on Etsy and my print is like the 4th one. Definitely pro-social media. Different social circles in the world effectively use social media to promote themselves and a lifestyle. Typically artists haven’t done that, and as a result social media influences creativity on that front.

In your opinion, do artists actions hold a stereotypical label?

Yes. Artists have so often lived to avoid those main stream trends. Although there has always been an almost uniform approach to what an artist should look like, or should be doing. This has the ability to enforce certain traits onto artists.

Edition 18 2017

41

42

Edition 18 2017

Smokey Babes

Edition 18 2017

43

Travel has clearly built you as a person, what has been the most significant revelation since your trip?

My ambitions have changed dramatically, my art brain has blown up with ideas, having inspiration thrown at me from all angles. I look to explore sculpture in the future, focusing on merging the differences between masculinity and femininity. I have always referred to myself as a painter, and that’s fine. But it does put me in a box already and I’m so young. In the Philippines I went Canyoneering––where you go through massive canyons and jump off waterfalls. Absolutely crazy experience. Jumping from places where you didn’t know what was at the bottom. The final jump was 17 metres, and I didn’t even think about it. The life jacket was my safety net, I was adamant that the life jacket would protect me. That whole moment had a massive impact on me. The rest of my travelling became less stressful. I look now in situations and think, what is my life jacket?

What depicts the profiles you represent in your work?

I recognise that I represent queer people in my work, and I recognise that I convey them as muscular. I also recognise that this is problematic because queer people are obviously more than just muscles, which reinforces stereotypes and body image issues. I focus on finding beautiful faces. As I embrace a more sexual side, I do try push more personal tastes for myself. And have come to realise, through travelling especially, that I

have pushed my boundaries of a type so far. Racially, there is no discrimination. Which compared to my 18-year-old dating profile is a dramatic and positive leap forward.

Merging into Art Festival Season, have you got any exhibition work on the go?

I’ve got work coming up in FEAST, the queer festival, in November and in RAW late September. I’m looking at putting some pieces in an Indian exhibition as well.

I have just been trying to paint––paint a lot. And from there curating from what I have.

Where does your confidence string from?

My confidence comes from my ability to get shit done. I always find a way to get it done and if I can’t... failure isn't scary and missing a deadline or withdrawing from a project can be painful it’s not my funeral. When I look back at myself, at 18, or 21, or 25, and see how much I have changed, and how much I’ve grown, it makes me excited to change. More than being terrified.

Check out Danny and his work on Instagram : @danny_jarratt Etsy : www.etsy.com/au/shop/dannyjarratt 44

Edition 18 2017

Edition 18 2017 Give Me The Paint45

V

X: Student Voice Let’s hear what some of us have to say on the topic of plebiscite for same-sex marriage.

Words & Photos by Rubina Chitrakar

Tobias Gunesch Exchange student from Germany- Bachelor of International Business Administration What are your thoughts on the plebiscite vote for marriage equality?

I’m from Germany and we had this same vote a while back in parliament. Same sex marriage was approved. But here, where people can vote and it’s not even going to be a part of legislation. So, it doesn’t really matter then, does it?

What do you think of online dating?

It’s for everyone to try out, depending on what you want and what you are searching for. But it’s funny when you meet someone online, but in real life and it’s not the person you thought it’d be. The person you see is so different than the person they seem to be in their pictures. You’d just be like ‘okay bye’ (laughs) Cheesiest pickup line you have heard?

The one I remember is “Did you fall from heaven because your eyes look like stars”.

It’s very cheesy! (laughs) and “Can I have your number, I lost mine” that’s a classic.

Linnea Tattersall Bachelor of Product Design What are your thoughts on the plebiscite vote for marriage equality?

I am astounded by the fact that it is not legally binding, which means that they could possibly revert it any time they want. If they’re doing it at least they ought to make it legally binding. And they’re spending over 100 million dollars for this plebiscite. That seems pointless to me.

What do you think of online dating?

My mum and dad actually met online. It was a big deal back then and their story even went to the news. It was back in the 90s and my mum was from America. They’ve been together for 20 years now. Whereas for my best friend, she had gone to England to meet her boyfriend she met online but it didn’t work out for her. It was disastrous.

He dumped her on Christmas eve! And I’ve never had any success with it either.

46

Edition 18 2017

Tristan Williams Bachelor of Product Design What are your thoughts on the plebiscite vote for marriage equality?

I think basically it shouldn’t be going to a plebiscite, it should just be happening.

I don’t know why we need to be going to a plebiscite, it seems like a waste of money.

This government has been going on about saving money, all the time, and they’re going ahead with this vote spending a huge amount. It seems completely opposite of what they stand for.

What do you think of online dating?

I think it could be very successful, given the right people and right circumstances.

I tried it for a short time but realised that it didn’t work for me. The modern dating scene and the way these sites and apps are constructed are very much based on visual self. If you’re someone who doesn’t care about that side of things, it’s not going to work for you. You don’t really get to know the person like you would while meeting them in person. They decide if they like you based on what they see.

For me, it wasn’t something I liked.

Molly Griffin Bachelor of Marketing What are your thoughts on the plebiscite vote for marriage equality?

I’m going to vote yes because it feel it’s inevitable, it’s just way of things to go.

This plebiscite is unnecessary though. I think there are better things we can spend a 122 million on.

What do you think of online dating?

It’s something that has adapted to times I guess. I’ve been with the same person since high school so haven’t really had to try it. But I have friends who have tried it and it looks like fun.

Laxmi Mainali Master of Social Work What are your thoughts on the plebiscite vote for marriage equality?

I support it completely. We talk about human rights extensively and this too, is a basic human right. I am surprised though, that progressive countries like Australia and USA have had to debate over something like this. It just seems like common sense to me.

Cheesiest pickup line you have heard?

“Your laughter is contagious, just like you.” I remember this from a long time ago. (laughs)

Edition 18 2017

47

September Verse Edition 19 Deadline This is it- The very last chance to submit to Verse Magazine for 2017! Get typing, doodling, painting and submit something by the September 25 Deadline! Plus keep an eye out for the 2018 Verse team applications.

Submit to: contact@versemag.com.au

What the heck is there to do around here? These things.

4th: World Sexual Health Day 11th: Interior Architecture Speed Meet 14th: UniSA Comm Design Movie Night 16th: Arch Ball 2017 21st Sep - 8th Oct: OzAsia Festival 25th: Verse Edition 19 Submission Deadline 26th: Health Science 10th Anniversary Dinner 29th: Human Movement Society Pub Crawl 29th: Club & Leadership Grants Deadline

October Halloween Party: Trick or Treat!

Get ready for a night of creepiness, costumes, DJs and a few bevvies with ya mates! USASA & the Fat Man are bringing you trickery & treats by transforming the Fat Controller into a spine-chilling Halloween scene!

DJs, drink specials and the best costume wins $500 cash!

Friday October 27, 9pm til late At the Fat Controller Tickets: $20 + bf at USASA.sa.edu.au/Halloween

2nd: Labour Day Public Holiday 6th: UniSA Business Ball 10th: UniTopia City West 11th: UniTopia City East 17th: UniTopia Mawson Lakes & Mount Gambier 18th: UniTopia Magill & Whyalla 20th: Construction End of Year Dinner

27th: USASA Halloween Party at Fat Controller 27th: Club & Leadership Grants Deadline If you’d like to organise an event, join or start a club! Visit USASA.sa.edu.au/clubs 48

Edition 18 2017

Background Images by Amelia Fox

A Word from your

USASA Student President Hi everyone! I hope you’re settling in well to the semester and taking advantage of all USASA has to offer, such as our freebies, second-hand textbooks and free academic advocacy service! Here’s a bit of what’s been going on at the USASA Student Board:

Violence at UniSA – Community Forum to discuss the survey results and the next steps. This will be held at City West campus Bradley Forum 5-7pm. Please come along to have your questions answered.

Marriage Equality Postal Vote

Australian Human Rights Commission [AHRC] survey release

The AHRC on August 1 released its report on sexual assault and harassment at Australian universities. The report shows that universities are failing survivors and students, and that they must take action on sexual assault and harassment.

For decades now survivors and student activists have been fighting to have their voices heard in the fight against sexual violence on and off campus. The national report shows that 51% of university students have experienced sexual harassment in 2016, and 6.9% have experienced sexual assault in 2015/16.

Of the 612 students who responded to the survey from UniSA, 8.5% had experienced sexual assault 2015/16, and 49% had experienced sexual harassment in a university setting in 2016.

Not one incidence of sexual assault and harassment is acceptable. Universities must acknowledge their failings and apologise to all survivors and students, while working to take real and meaningful action to support survivors and students, rather than engaging in tokenistic poster campaigns.

Having students at the centre of decision-making when effecting change is pivotal to ensure that policies and services reflect student needs. Students need to be actively involved in the design of any policies that affect them, and USASA will continue to advocate for a reform of all policies, procedures and services. USASA along with the University is organising a panel for the 5th of September Stopping Sexual

The Federal Government has called for a postal survey on the issue of marriage equality in Australia.

At the 2016 Federal Election, 18 – 24 year olds were the most under represented age group for voter registration. Currently, nearly half of 18 year olds, and nearly 350,000 young people are not enrolled to vote. According to the Galaxy research, 81% of young people support marriage equality.

The University of South Australia Student Association is listed as a supporter of marriage equality through the Australian Marriage Equality website. USASA supports marriage equality and while we understand this is a difficult vote to be had, we urge everyone to enrol to vote to make sure your voice is heard.

I will be voting yes and I hope I can encourage everyone to vote yes too. USASA supports the wellbeing of our students and we understand this is a hard time for the LGBTQIA+ community, but we are always a safe, open space for our students. Look out for the postal survey in the mail across September.

Clubs Committee

At USASA we are currently reviewing everything about our student clubs! If you have any feedback you’d love to provide, from club structures to funding, please let us know because it’d be great to hear from you.

Cheers, Kayla Dickeson | USASA President Kayla.Dickeson@unisa.edu.au Edition 18 2017

49

a good body can do its own asking

long-long night-guilt in asking, shame in pleasure how would i say it: what would it sound like coming from my body? (in order to receive) asking, re-learned pale-bright / self-affection / un-abashed somewhere somewhere meanwhile

a mother soothes child with touch a woman makes herself out of a certain softness a body keeps breathing while it sleeps through the night

there are some things a body is allowed to know it loves a good body offers itself (softly) to your trying (and gently) you can offer back

Words by Jennie Maydew | Images by Chloe Coates 50

Edition 18 2017

Words by Anonymous | Images by Nicole Faiello

the first woman I fell in like with

Today, I wrote a poem about you In the notes on my iPhone about when our fingers touched for a fleeting second as you passed me your Samsung and how when they'd touched it felt like water finally running warm out the tap in mid July Today I chose a song on Spotify It's one that would describe Our story So picture perfect and for the 100th time I imagine you sitting in the passenger seat while I drum the steering wheel (hoping you'll join in) but you and I Are only a picture An existence In my head

Tonight, I saw her picture The one you'd taken Uploaded to my Facebook feed And the first thing I did was smile And as my heart Filled with equal parts Happiness Filled with equal parts Reluctant resolve I wished Every inch of love For you I wished Every inch of love For me Tonight, I didn't cry (Perhaps I will tomorrow) But hoped one day Someone will touch my mind The way your existence did (Has) The way your fingers Touched mine

because you have someone To touch To drive (crazy) To sing to.

Edition 18 2017

51

My First Time

Words by Anonymous | Images by Indigo Cherry

52

Edition 18 2017

“You’re beautiful,” whispered the guy I’d been crushing on for ages. This was it, the aligning of stars, the fairy-tale ending, the pivotal movie-like moment. He slid his hands over the lace of my delicate underwear. Suddenly I felt… just kidding!

When people bring up the topic of sex, it scares me a little. I start to shift uncomfortably in my seat, even now as a 21 year old, an ADULT in every nation. My first line of defence is to sit quietly; if I shrink into the corner maybe this conversation will somehow not be happening. I’ll admit I’ve lied in the odd game of never have I ever, especially when it’s with people I don’t know.

So that’s it, I’m a virgin and embarrassed about it? Well, I don’t find this a simple question. Sometimes I am. Sometimes I scream at myself in the mirror, asking what the hell is wrong with you? Why aren’t you more attractive or cooler or more outgoing?

Sometimes I get even weirder about it and think the world has divulged a conspiracy against me. Sex is either something that everyone pretends is real, but only happens on TV or it’s something everyone seems to be doing except for me. I swear I’m getting left out on purpose.

That’s how I feel about sex, sometimes crazy stressed out and sometimes perfectly fine.

And then it’s days like today where I look at myself sitting in old, baggy PJs wondering what the hell I did to deserve this cold sore forming right in the centre of my lip, when I think ‘yeah fair enough.’

But there’s the other side of the coin. Confession time at parties when I realise I’m not alone. I find out there are plenty of people my age in the same boat. All kinds of people, crazy fun people, confident people, stunningly gorgeous people and I think ‘Thank GOD!’ Maybe I’m not so abnormal. It’s just the luck of the draw, the way the world works. The moment I realised there are people in the world that say, ‘it’s not weird, it’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen,’ was the moment I could finally let out a sigh of relief.

So that’s it. That’s how I feel about sex, sometimes crazy stressed out and sometimes perfectly fine. It took me 19 years to have my first kiss so who knows; maybe it’ll take another 19 years for me to reach the next level. In the meantime at least I’ve got a Pinterest board of Ryan Gosling to keep me happy.

Edition 18 2017

53

Miss Brightside Words by Mark Vawser | Images by Stephanie Payne

What does a kiss mean when you kiss someone who isn’t your husband?

“It was only a kiss…..it was only a kiss…” Laura recited over and over in her mind. “As long as nothing more happens I have done nothing wrong. After all it’s not uncommon for a women to thank a hero with a kiss”. Even as this feeble justification of her previous action was flowing through Laura’s mind, her hand drew David upstairs. Her body acting out her undisclosed desires without conscious decision. As they reached the second floor landing, Laura braced herself for the excruciating high pitched squeak of the final step long broken. No squeak was forthcoming however for David, her hero, had fixed it only minutes before. As if by chance her mouth found his again, this time her lips parted without conscious thought to receive his caressing tongue. “After all it’s only a kiss”.

In that moment Laura felt her eyes open for the first time in years and found them eager.

They were in the bedroom now. “How did this happen?”

Her mind jerked from the endorphin high of David’s kiss back to reality for just long enough to think of Geoff. “But I love Geoff? She thought voicing it within her mind more as a question than statement. That was all the doubt that was needed for her desire to breach her crumbling defences.

“But does he love me? He doesn’t take care of me, David does...” her fingers fumbling with something metallic was no more than a distant echo in her crowded mind. “To Geoff I am nothing more than a possession. An accessory to be trotted out on the rare occasion I leave the house.

A thing to point to and say “that’s mine” nothing more.”

Laura’s growing fury built in her chest. No not fury, a fire.

A fire spreading from her chest to her cheeks as she let out an audible gasp. David’s nimble, rough and skilful hands

54

Edition 18 2017

had gone to work, fixing everything they touched. And for the first time in years Laura did not feel broken. The fire spread, its warmth healing her, burning her alive and she wanted it to consume her.

“A compromise” her mind interjecting again. “If I do not act, then I cannot be blamed” after all how can it be her fault if he acted as he pleased? She was merely present, an observer. Neutral. Even as this bargain of neutrality was struck her body was declaring war on David’s. Her dress laid in a pool on the floor, David’s overalls cast aside revealing a muscular form. “I must not act” she thought once more. “The decision to do nothing is still doing something” her desire spoke again flinging open the last doors of resistance. Laura’s body ignored the conflict regardless of her internal struggle as she pushed David onto the bed and climbed his rough form. Her mind was

quiet now, empty. Nothing remained but the hunger.

A gentle rhythm slowly ascending, creating sparks and setting her on fire.

For an hour she burned. Her skin flushing with the heat, her cries not of pain but of release. They part as Laura falls onto the soft blankets, absorbing the moisture of her exertions. David lights up a smoke and all Laura wants now is a drag. The smoke cleared her mind and entered her lungs, leaving nothing but a clear path, a war path. “I must divorce Geoff” she thought “I have been neutral for far too long”. As David left the house with no more than a pleased “thank you mam” Laura watched him swagger away her eyes never examining his retreating form. In that moment Laura felt her eyes open for the first time in years and found them eager.

After all, divorce had its bright side.

Edition 18 2017

55

Words by Anonymous | Ima

ge by Rachael Sharman

Stalk her on all social media platforms Cry Repress (everything) Repeat steps 1 to 3 Go to dinner with a guy (preferably a comedian) Talk about the plebiscite Notice how uncomfortable your chair is Laugh Wonder if I were him, would my laugh sound like it belonged to me?

Repress (everything) Play Mr Brightside, anything Gretta Ray and other non-heteronormative songs Cry Start reading the book that she's read Feel overwhelmed Wish you could erase his touch and gaze from your body and mind Unfriend him Google asexuality Try really hard to find the guy at work attractive in your mind Fail Watch Tyler Oakley on YouTube Watch Hannah Hart on YouTube Fall lowkey (a lot) in love with Hannah Hart on YouTube Imagine telling your parents Imagine telling your friends Wake yourself from that daydream Wonder if it's a phase Google sexual fluidity Google bisexuality Google lentil recipes Write this checklist Sign it ‘anonymous’ Fall asleep at 2:00 am

A toast to us.

Words by Anonymous | Images by Josephine Ainscough

Five years. 1,826 days (counting the leap year that is in there of course). That’s how long I’ve been with my girlfriend, give or take a few months here and there. I adore her. She adores me. The only problem is that 95% of the people in our lives don’t know we’re together. My incredible immediate family and my two fiercely loyal best friends. They are the only humans on the planet that know I love her and that she loves me. You see… we aren’t just at a toe-in-the-water stage of romance. We have seen each other through life and countless deaths and all the monotonous parts that trace in between.

But this isn’t about us, you say, it’s about you…

The fact that you cannot seem to understand that love does not discriminate, classify, pigeon hole, or categorise itself in the ways that you label me. The way you think your desire is in any way more natural than mine. How you feel you are entitled to ‘have a say’ whether or not I can legally bind myself to another human for an eternity.

Please stay, while I flip you a little of what I think about a board of middle-aged, mediocre, grey-haired, beer-gutted bumbling buffoons telling me who I can and cannot declare I love. You may think you have some kind of innate power or privilege to be in the position you are in, but frankly this is what I think.

Here’s to us. We have the power of being loved by one another every single day, and the privilege of knowing we’ll never feel hate in the way that you do.

Edition 18 2017

57

The Pill and Depression Words by Anonymous | Images by Abbey Holland Come with me now on a journey through time and space… Sounds like the intro to a colourful episode of The Mighty Boosh, right? Well, not quite. Let’s take it back to March 2016, the beginning of an exciting new chapter in my life: university. I exited the cosy embrace of high school and was launched into the slightly less coddling, but incredibly enticing arms of tertiary education. With this big step came the anticipation of new friends, new scenery and a whole new influx of knowledge.

on our separate paths, routine was no longer as easy to maintain as it had been only months ago, and the whirlwind of fun and enthusiasm that comes with finishing high school had come to a screaming halt.

Lots of things changed all at once: fun hangouts with old friends became less frequent as we went

I looked back and couldn’t quite remember at which point I had lost the ability to take pleasure in the

All of these things, to my usually fairly positive brain, seemed much more ominous than I was expecting. Had I peaked in high school? Was everyone delusional when they said that these years would be the best of my life?

Where had my joy and zest for life disappeared to?

everyday. It was such a slow and relatively unnoticeable progression, until I started to struggle with the most basic of daily tasks. I binged, I slept, I cried, I withdrew, I was irritated.

It was after the billionth time I had bitten my mother’s head off and she brought my short fuse to my attention, that I admitted I had no clue why I felt so frustrated with the world.

The first step was a trip to the doctor to talk about how downright shitty I was feeling, not long after Triple J’s ‘Hack’ program had discussed a link between the pill and depression (thanks a bunch Tom Tilley). We talked about all the things I could do and decided that I’d first and foremost try going off the pill for six weeks, to see if that made any difference to my headspace. Immediately, I fretted at the idea of giving up the pesky daily tablet that had kept my unfortunate spread of red, bumpy skin at bay for well over a year. But I was willing to try anything if it meant I could feel like myself again.

Immediately, I fretted at the idea of giving up the pesky daily tablet that had kept my unfortunate spread of red, bumpy skin at bay for well over a year.

So, let’s travel back to present time, to the present me.

Here I am, with slightly more zits decorating my face than I’d probably like – and pretty gosh darn awful PMS if I’m being honest – but overall a heck of a lot happier and healthier than I was six months ago. My creativity finally shows its face once in a while, I have the energy (sometimes) to get my bum out of bed and I’ve rediscovered my excitement for the world that had gradually become so distant.

If you’re on any form of hormonal contraceptive and it works for you, then that’s fantastic and I encourage you to take full advantage of the options you have. But, if I had known that my year would play out the way it did, under such an unnecessary cloud of doom and gloom, then I would have thought twice about my decision – or at least paid more attention to those fine-print package warnings.

So, whatever choice you make in terms of contraception, just make sure it’s well-informed and that you check in with yourself every now and then. And of course, if you feel like you’ve been down in the dumps a little too deeply for a little too long (even if it has nothing to do with your contraception), please speak up. Life is far too short to tolerate feeling like shit, even if it means tolerating a few extra spots.

So, I cut myself off cold turkey from the morning pilltaking routine that I had become so accustomed to. As far-fetched as it may sound, in a matter of weeks it felt like the huge black cloud that I thought was just a part of growing up, seemed to be lifting.

Edition 18 2017

59

EVE’S ADULT EMPORIUM

DNM ADULT PRODUCTS

THE VIBE ADULT SHOP

Exterior: Been to a show at the Gov or Entertainment Centre? Drop by, it’s open much later than its rivals.

Hard to miss it. It’s got a massive fucking pink neon heart protruding the shop.

Exterior: Rundown backstreet store.

Black painted building showcasing only a few lingerie wearing mannequins. Bearded old bloke staring us down as we walked in.

Tick tick tick. Well at least it lives up to the seedy sex shop stereotypes.

Exterior: Bold pink painted building.

Looks as though it was once a Housing Trust home owned by a little old woman now turned sex den.

Interior: Cashier basically leapt at us as we entered. It was like she hadn’t had human contact in months. Super friendly though if you hadn’t been taken aback by her overly eager greeting. If you haven’t discovered the internet yet and are still living in the dinosaur porn age, this is the place to be. Hundreds of DVDs, disappointing range of other goods. Also, you can’t leave without the cashier’s permission, the automatic sliding door locks behind you.

60

Edition 18 2017

Interior: Sunglasses recommended.

I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t such harsh lighting and white tiles. It felt like I was in a chemist. Conveniently, the store was split clearly into female and male products so at least you could attempt to browse the small store crammed with way too much stock. Good range. Cashier seemed friendly enough had he not been intensely watching us the entire time. Did he even blink?

Interior: Entered through the backdoor (pun not intended) due to free carparking. Definitely was an apartment at some point.

Navigating the tiny lino lined hallways, we were greeted by the owner ushering us into the actual (tiny) shop floor. He looked like one half of those sweet old couples ya’know (except clearly with a raging sex life surely).

Super welcoming. Didn’t hover over us but still offered assistance if we so needed it. A much more comfortable shopping experience.

Would shop again if only online shopping wasn’t so convenient.

Words by Bridget Kerry

“Adult store not sex store” – sex shop owners.

ADULTS R US

BLACK KNIGHT EROTICA

Exterior: The fact this store’s name plays on the popular kid’s toy shop, Toys R Us, makes me super uncomfortable. Like children and sex toys do not need a link thanks.

Also, why are the majority of sex stores entirely painted black?

Exterior: You’ve probably been living under a rock if you haven’t been made aware of the advertising this place does. Biggest sex shop in Adelaide with a giant warehouse on the main road.

Interior: Another burley bearded cashier again staring us down. I get you must have high rates of theft (especially with some of the prices phwooooar) but making your customers feel like criminals, nah. He didn’t even acknowledge us when we waved him goodbye.

I may have shed a solidary tear.

Range was decent, but we couldn’t reach the board games. Sad times.

Interior: Impressive range of goods - basically every ‘sexy’ costume under the sun. Even a large range of edible goods like penis shaped lollipops, chocolate body paint, etc.

The 17" penis was a bit extreme though. Do people even use them?

Anyhow, the cashier was so bloody rude and condescending that none of this mattered. Her initial tone with us when checking IDs (the first store to do so actually) and giving us the ‘no phones’ spiel was unnecessary and made me feel totally inferior. Nah, I don’t rate it.

Edition 18 2017

61

It's been said by @okaymontana, "You can only ignore your dirties for so long.

Eventually you'll find yourself naked and exposed, with far too much to carry."

So, let's all unload, unwind and take a seat.

March 21 - April 20

April 21 - May 21

May 22 - June 21

Don't limit your indulgence. *Uber Eats, Uber Black, don't look back*

Knock 'em down with love. *big shoes n kickin boots* #NOURISH

Don't be coy. Be Brazen. *yell from rooftops* #FORWARD

September 24 - October 23

October 24 - November 22

November 23 - December 22

Self-love is your power tool. *Instagram spam* #MANAGE

Escape the fantasy. * it's 2am, just sleep* #REALITY

It goes on. Put it on. *don't be stupid* #FLOW

62

Edition 18 2017

Words and Images by Rachael Sharman

June 22 - July 23

July 24 - August 23

August 24 - September 23

Know your roots. *stalk stalk stalk* #PROTECTION

Poke out of the box. *unveil your talents* #PROJECT

Just get it done. *set a date* #BLOSSOM

December 23 - January 20

January 21 - February 19

February 20 - March 20

Short or long..term? *change it up* #COMFORT

Be provocative. *oh hello sexy eyes* #ILLUMINATE

To satisfy be confident. *swipe right* #APPEALING

Edition 18 2017

63

N

E

R

IN

G

2

FO

AR

LL

O

D

5

O

R C

ER

AF T

BE

THE THE

EMBRACE US: