shock Therapy - Sandra Whittington

in my Facebook profile, Twitter bio, and back pocket I know it’s the closest cloak I reach for in my identity crisis I know my sister was born cloak-less, naked, American, fatherless I know the type of men who will see her thirteen as sustenance I know how to fight, I know to fight, I know how to fight and being the older brother means God sent me to light from the darkness first so I could show her the way

I know the devil enters your mouth when you’re angry and we say things we don’t mean wishing we could take them back, I know every breath is precious but I don’t carry my inhaler. I know I breathe easier lying next to a warm body I know I translate everything I hear and speak And still don’t understand love. I know Bob Marley tied to teach me through a boombox in a living room in Freetown, Sierra Leone, And vibrations that positive can’t be contained

I think we all want someone to be vulnerable with and not be judged for it I know when I was 13, I watched Sex and the City marathons I know a lot of people don’t think so but Sarah Jessica Parker could still get it. I know how hard it is to let go of boyhood fantasies I know how hard it is to let go How life is holding tight to people you care for

I know my mother once told me “Death is like rain; it falls on everyone’s doorstep” I know the irony of her death. How my hands failed to grip water How easily my knees bent when I heard she fell I know my mother was my favorite poet I know she’s on a cloud somewhere tonight Keeping me company, clapping in happy thunder at the little I’ve learned, and the celestial I have yet to know.