Contrast F/W2023 - Ephemeral Issue

CONtRASt The Rise of Silver

My Mom Taught Me Androgyny The Brief History of Crochet and the Tension of its Politics

All Aboard the Trend Train: Ready-to-Wear and Handmade Aesthetics From the Pitch to the Player: The Subject of Sportswear Student-Made: A Conversation with Vassar’s Homemade Jewelry Artists

Ephemeral Issue • Fall 2023

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Letter From the Editor Dear readers, I am overjoyed to present to you the 18th volume of Contrast! This issue is entitled the Ephemeral Issue, throughout the making of which our team pondered: what is it about fashion that has us obsessed? Were we to remove the glitter and gloss, or to exfoliate away its croc-leathered (preferably cruelty-free and vegan) crust, what would be at the core?

Crisply developed over these pages is a hypothetical response: at the heart of fashion resides the transience of beauty, and, consequently, our trifling endeavor to preserve what’s on the cusp of expiration. This goes beyond fashion. Everything that can be taxonomized as a human pursuit, even the blandest of errands, boils down to a race against time. Collecting memorabilia is an anthropocentric fixation; the same goes for endorsing quality time with mass-produced souvenirs and VSCO’d photographs. What we do in the present is done in light of futurity, a sort of commemorative prearrangement for our impending absence.

What, then, qualifies us as Vassar ephemerae? Where in this landscape are we to find the novel antiquities that, in ten years, will spell our names? We foraged for amorphous proofs of Vassar as a living body – vitals so intuitively us that they barely seemed existent at all. Our cover story pays homage to the Poughkeepsie train station, a transportation hub dreadfully minute in a whole world of choo-choo junctures, yet incredibly refreshing for Vassar brains drenched in rural bore, breaded with anxiety, and deep-fried in academia.

By Sunset Lake, where snapping turtles and wild geese ambush passersby, we explored athleisure with the men’s soccer team. I was insanely terrified by

the tree-climbing situation, and it did not help when someone whispered, “Coach is not going to like this.”

For the final shoot, we adorned our models in cultural jewelry and handmade accessories. We didn’t just style any miscellaneous assortment; we handled the assortment of storytelling, lustrous trinketries.

Our articles are beautifully crafted as well. We examine androgyny in and beyond fashion, the art of crochet, student productions, silver jewelry, and much more. Every word was a prudent selection by our contributors, forming, altogether, a mindful assembly of eloquence and wit, a transcript of our conversation with fashion.

That said, I hope you enjoy this issue. We are all ephemerae floating in the algae-clouded Sunset Lake, fighting to flee amphibian chomps. But that’s okay – if anything, transience makes presence special. xoxo, Angelica Zhiyu Luo

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All Aboard the Trend Train Ready-to-Wear and Handmade Aesthetics

Lindsay Shih In the constantly evolving field of fashion, there exists a duality between the world of DIY and ready-to-wear style, the split between the made and the bought.

This unique dichotomy has carved out a sort of stratification in the fashion world, not only reflecting the attainability and exclusivity of certain styles but also delving into the very core of personal expression, demonstrating how what we choose to wear in public is an extension of our values and desires. Public transportation in particular provides a unique opportunity for different aesthetics to mingle, permitting for a diverse display of style and fostering a silent dialogue between the styles of each rider.

The DIY vs. ready-to-wear discussion has gathered momentum recently. With the rise of fast fashion, consumers are becoming more conscious of their environmental impact and how mass-produced garments use exploitative labor practices. This awareness has spurred a renewed interest in creating one’s clothing or shopping for used pieces. The appeal of DIY fashion lies in its uniqueness and the fact that it is inherently imbued with the personality of its creator. It is,

however, to recognize that DIY fashion is not always accessible.

It requires time, materials, and a certain level of skill; in a paradoxical sense, DIY can be considered a luxury for those who can afford the time and resources it requires.

authenticity that ready-to-wear pieces often lack. On the other hand, some store-bought clothing is intentionally designed to resemble DIY creations, capitalizing on the DIY culture, and showing how the bought and made aesthetics are intertwined – they can only exist with one In a similar vein, the bought vs. another. made aesthetics are in constant juxtaposition to one another. Thrifting has become increasThe “made aesthetic” is currently ingly significant in the DIY in style, and it distinguishes itself vs. ready-to-wear discourse. from the once-popular “clean Thrifting, once considered a girl aesthetic,” which dominat- budget-friendly alternative that ed the world of fashion about a potentially reduces consumers’ year ago. It was characterized by carbon footprints, has evolved its minimalist and polished look, and now caters to a more diverse with an emphasis on buying audience – including wealthier from high-end labels. The made resellers. It is not uncommon to aesthetic, however, takes pride in find curated vintage stores and the handmade, the homemade, consignment shops that transthe imperfect, and the artisanal. form thrifting into a high-end It values clothing with a story – shopping experience. Thrifting intrinsically personal clothing. has been redefined to accomThe made aesthetic embraces modate those who seek excluquirks and irregularities, a direct sivity in their second-hand finds, rejection of the fashion industry’s which introduces a sense of previously established norms of “buying into” the made aesthetperfection and elegance. Within ic. The intermingling of DIY and the made aesthetic, the lines of ready-to-wear aesthetics shows DIY and store-bought fashion how this stratification of fashblur and blend together. Some ion can be used to create layered individuals opt for DIY process- styles that defy categorization. In es to achieve their look, carefully other words, this stratification of crafting their style with a sense of fashion allows

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for and encourages innovations incorporate DIY elements, using within the fashion industry. sewing and makeup artistry to create visually striking looks, inIn essence, how we dress in pub- novating through their creativity lic is a reflection of who we are. and personality. Their sartorial The choice between or combina- choices embody a celebration of tion of DIY and ready-to-wear identity and diversity, as well as a fashion highlights how people rejection of societal norms. relate to materialism, authenticity, and the environment. Con- The intersection of these aesthetsider the contrast between the ics is a rare, but fascinating phematerialistic business person nomenon. It is a liminal, undeand the opulent, wealthy wom- fined space where fashion serves an versus the drag queen and the as a bridge between a diverse club kid. These archetypes em- spectrum of values and desires. body different value systems and One of the few environments desires, and their sartorial choic- where these aesthetics may cones are a direct extension of those verge is within public transporvalues. The materialistic busi- tation – a clearly defined, conness professional typically leans fined space in which everyone toward ready-to-wear fashion, is in the same physical space, featuring elements that are sleek, but on different paths, reflecting professional, and imbued with the core tenets of the bought and an air of wealth and success. The made aesthetics. Here, materilabels they wear and the quality alistic business people, wealthy of their attire are emblematic of women, drag queens, and club their aspirations for status and kids find common ground in the power. This aesthetic, however, mundanity of life. It is a world of comes at the cost of individual- its own, where the boundaries of ity, as it makes its wearer blend style and identity are on display, into a sea of similarly dressed but on equal footing. individuals. The wealthy woman might mix ready-to-wear pieces Public transportation is just that with high-end vintage items, in- – public. In a train car, passencorporating a little more of the gers are all in dialogue with each made aesthetic, but still keeping other, consciously or not. Busiin line with her wealthy status. nessmen intermingle with drag She understands the uniqueness kings. Club kids and Vanderthat a well-worn, vintage design- bilts. And, naturally, fashion ener piece can bring to her ensem- ters the dialogue. In a city such ble. Her fashion choices reflect as New York, the DIY style has a desire for luxury and individ- blossomed; teenagers wearing uality, a way to flaunt a well-cu- their crochet vests and patched rated, expensive wardrobe. The jeans are put in close quarters to drag queen and the club kid have the old women in fur hats and styles that defy convention and men in hand-tailored suits. The embrace self-expression. They train is not only a melting pot

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of characters – it becomes a curio-cabinet of current trends and fascinations within the fashion world. Train cars become a sort of microcosm of our society and an exhibition of individual tastes and designs.

In the intricate interaction of fashion and transportation, trains grant a unique canvas for self-expression. The clack and clang of wheels on rails carry not only commuters but also a cross-section of styles and with that, stories. Passengers commune within the confines of a train car, and a fascinating dialogue unfolds through their attire.

Public transportation, especially in bustling metropolises like New York, has become a hotbed for DIY fashion enthusiasts. The train is not simply a means of getting from point A to B; the train becomes a rolling exhibit of trends and innovations. The dynamic fusion of DIY and readyto-wear styles on the tracks highlights the evolving nature of fashion, as individuals blend the worlds of personal creativity and commercial consumerism.

In this shared journey, we witness how fashion can transcend social boundaries, providing a shared space for self-expression.

The dichotomy between DIY and ready-to-wear fashion, along with the bought vs. made aesthetic, paints a complex picture of the stratification within the fashion industry. These aesthetic choices reflect not only

our access to resources but also our personalities, our uniqueness, our humanness. As we navigate the constantly shifting landscape of fashion, it’s essential to recognize that personal style is a rich tapestry of influences, from DIY creations to high-end designer pieces, all of which showcase the multifaceted nature of human expression. The combining and churning of these aesthetics is where fashion thrives in the truest sense of the word – where it becomes a realm of possibility and a celebration of individuality.

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Rendez-Vous by

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From the Pitch to the Player: The Subject of Sportswear

“Huge thanks to Teddy Borgos ’24, winger, and Duncan Keker ’25, striker, for spearheading this collaboration.”

Wyatt Keleshian

What is it about soccer that makes dads scream at the TV and the fashion world foam at the mouth? For me, soccer conjures memories of playing in the hot sun, running around and being with friends. Nothing is more exciting than that adrenaline rush as you kick the ball into the goal, wishing and praying for it to get past the goalie. I think that soccer, like fashion, is something that unites the world together. Soccer is truly a global sport as the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) consists of 211 national teams, representing nearly every corner of the globe. And of course everyone wears clothes. So it is only natural that the two would cross paths eventually, and in recent years, soccer inspired fashion has exploded onto the scene, from fashion week runways to fast-fashion retailers.

Despite soccer knits, sambas, and athletic shorts rather recently entering the vernacular of the fashion world at large, such clothing items have been staples of everyday wear for much of South American and Caribbean, where modern soccer culture began to take form. Perhaps one of the most famous soccer players of all time, and certainly a fashion icon, Pelé revolutionized menswear, intertwining the once polar opposites into an exploration of culture, personality, and style. On the field, Pelé was a superstar, being the only World Cup player to have won three times. Off the field, his sartorial personality was just as energetic and influential. His rise to fame from the 1950s to 1970s coincided with great changes in fashion history. Sportswear, for the first time, was being considered a form of fashion itself. Brands like Adidas, Nike, Puma, and Reebok were founded during this time, and sneakers became the new everyday

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shoe. What you wore to work out became just as important as what you wore to run errands, workout, or simply lounge around the house. And in South American and Caribbean countries, like Pelé’s native Brazil, sportswear lends itself well to the hot and humid climates.

With the rise of “athleisure” and sports culture globally in the 1970s and 1980s, sportswear became an integral part of global fashion culture. Items like rugby shirts, athletic shorts, sneakers, and jerseys began to be fashion statements on and off the field. But it is not until recently that sportswear and athleisure have come back in vogue again, and this time, it is the world of high fashion that is being taken over by nylon and polyester sportswear.

Perhaps the most groundbreaking and influential designer of this haute sportswear aesthetic is Grace Wales Bonner. The aesthetics of Pelé and southern

hemisphere soccer culture find a new light in the sartorial collections of the Afro-Caribbean British designer. According to the designer’s website, “Wales Bonner proposes a distinct notion of cultural luxury that infuses European heritage with an Afro Atlantic spirit.” And that she does. Her collections are fusions of stiff European style tailoring and the more relaxed soccer kits and tracksuits. Her aesthetic looks greatly to the 1970s, precisely the time of Pelé and the rise of soccer as a global sport.

Her pairing of soccer knits and wool trousers are both clean and provide a refreshing nonchalance to the stereotypically stiff European tailoring common amongst British designers. Silhouettes are slim and form fitting, a rejection of the oversized bagginess of 1990s sportswear turned streetwear. But the influences of Afro-Caribbean and African-American street fashion cannot be overlooked. Her blend of the soccer kits and tracksuits with European silhouettes challenges the notion that streetwear cannot be en par with fine European haute couture. But what is haute couture but not a reinforcement of colonial and European superiority? In the 21st Century, it is not the fashion houses of Dior, Chanel, or Fendi that are dictating fashion trends, but the creative ingenuity of young and ambitious designers such as Grace Wales Bonner. Looking at the past few fashion weeks, it seems as though it is the so-called couture houses that are taking inspiration from trends created by small brands, as opposed to creating the trends themselves. Balenciaga has appropriated the sporty, soccer kit wearing aesthetic into their heritage of a couture brand. And yet it should not be forgotten that these aesthetics come not from the design rooms of Europe, but from the soccer jersey wearing youth on the streets of urban cities across the globe.

High fashion, in the 21st Century, is not just the runways of Paris, Milan, or New York. The streets of those same cities, and cities all over the world, are where true fashion innovation is occurring.

With fashion designers continuously drawing not from the sewing rooms, but from what people are wearing on the streets, it appears that fashion is no longer controlled by the couturiers, but by the motion and fluidity of streetwear, which has is a direct descendant of the sportswear aesthetics of the 1970s and 1980s.

Thus, soccer not only units the globe in sport, it unites us in fashion. And as the dialogue between high fashion and sportswear becomes ever more casual, we still should not ignore “sportswear as streetwear”’s roots amongst the Afro-Caribbean and black cultures that alchemized the aesthetic.

The dissemination of streetwear aesthetics into high fashion has provided a new platform for long overlooked cultural and societal ways of dress. However, it has also led to a disconnect between the peoples and places that established such aesthetics and the current designers injecting their collections with streetwear inspired silhouettes. Grace Wales Bonner and other POC designers are beacons of inspiration, showing that long ignored, and long scoffed at looks can and should be considered high fashion.

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THE RISE ABIGAIL STRAUS Dating back to ancient Egypt and beyond, silver has been used as adornment of the home and on the bodies of kings, queens, and pharaohs. In ancient days silver spread beyond decoration, its precious nature inspiring civilizations to use it as both currency and status symb ols, denoting who had the wealth necessary to possess the metal.

According to ancient Egyptian temple inscriptions, silver was placed at a higher value than gold, scarcity driving demand in the ancient world. Its cool tones and reflective nature created an association with the moon, becoming a symbol of Nefertem, a god associated with the night. Nefertem was not the only god associated with silver. Artemis, goddess of the hunt and moon, was typically depicted with her silver bow and arrows, displaying the metal’s applications as weaponry. In reality, the silver on weapons was typically for decoration, too soft to sustain the hard blows of battle, and too scarce to

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waste when harder, more common metals could be used.

As time progressed, silver availability increased, allowing these adornments to shift from inaccessible class symbols and into the hands of mainstream consumers. With expanding technology in metalwork and machiner y, mass production of simple designs became popular in the 19th century. Unlike today where gold and silver exist in tandem, before the 20th century silver was the common choice, complementing the white diamonds pouring into Europe. Eventually, silver work increased in complexity, including these diamonds amidst other precious stones. Now, jewelry visually divided classes through the quality and quantity of the stones silver held rather than its mere existence adorning a body.

Current silver adornments range from fine chains to thick collars dripping with jewels. Both extremes are consistently dis-

OF sILVER played in street fashion and seen on celebrities in their appearances on red carpets. The most recent Oscars was no exception, featuring a host of celebrities dripping in fine metals. Of these looks, the majority featured silver, with over 30 out of 37 of Vogue’s top jewelry picks from the event using exclusively silver. Within 2023 as a whole, cold silver overtook the warmer gold tones that have dominated the industry in recent years, signaling a return to our silver Victorian roots.

Additionally, the delicate gold chains have begun morphing into bolder looks, with thick chains, drop earrings, and chunky bracelets dominating the carpet. But why would fashion shift from classic gold?

Just like garment trend cycles, jewelry has its cycles as well. Coming off a period of delicate gold overload paired with the human desire for unique creations is turning the fashion world in opposite directions

to sustain the desire for novelty. Fashions must be ever-changing, evolving demands, so why should jewelry be any different?

The silver trend doesn’t seem to be slowing, with several designers incorporating the metal into their Spring 2024 shows. Many of Burberry’s ready-to-wear collections involved chunky silver hardware paired with silver chain fabrics, mirroring vintage chain patterns that were once in gold. Among the fabrics decorated with fake chains, most mimic recent red carpet looks, with thicker links creating bold contrasts against the black Burberry garments. Vivianne Westwood took a different approach to silver, filling their collections with bold colors, allowing silver adornment to enhance rather than center, a more achievable everyday application for people’s jewelry boxes.

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Student-Made:

A Conversation with Vassar’s Homemade Jewelry Artists

By: Leta Blades

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hy purchase jewelry when you can make your own? Vassar’s campus has never been lacking in artists, and jewelry creators are no exception. With there being a growing influence of jewelry in the trend cycle, I took the opportunity to interview several Vassar students about their homemade jewelry, why they make jewelry, what the process is like, and why they believe jewelry matters.

Abby Posner (‘26) began making jewelry in high school after she was inspired by her mother, as her mom taught her to bead and fix her own jewelry. Eventually, Abby branched out and got comfortable with her current specialty, wire work. Abby explains that with wire work she feels like she can “make anything”. Wire jewelry has become especially popular, particularly because artists can make beautiful swirling and mesmerizing designs.

Anna Kaigle (26’) similarly started making jewelry in high school after being inspired by her grandmother who continues to gift her beads to this day. Anna described her jewelry style by saying, “I tend to be very maximalist in all of my decoration and artwork, so I think, with jewelry, it’s the same. I try to cram a lot in a small space.”

Alayna Grzybowski (‘25) began making jewelry during her sophomore year of high school.

Alayna was also inspired and encouraged by their grandmother, as she gifted them a wire board, which Alayna explains allows for a more precise shaping of wire jewelry. Like Abby, Alay-

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na prefers to work with wire for the majority of her pieces.

Becca Spence (‘25) began making metal jewelry in her junior year of high school, and began selling it to friends during her senior year. Becca discussed what kinds of jewelry she likes making, saying, “I usually go for smaller metallic pieces”.

During the Pandemic, Maddy Smith (‘25) started making jewelry after being inspired by her aunt. Maddie described her process to me: “So, I’ll make, like, shapes out of wire and then it’s just like wire and beads.” She described how wire work allows for room to experiment with different wire types (e.g. thickness, round, flat) to create different looks.

All of the artists I interviewed described their jewelry-making process as more of a hobby than a chore or job. Many use it to destress, keep their

hands busy, and allow themselves to express their creative side. Anna likes to listen to music while she fashions her jewelry and describes having “a warm, fuzzy headspace” when she creates. Abby often makes her jewelry while watching TV: “I sit on my bed and I have all of my things”. Abby expressed that she does not want to end up disliking jewelry making if she spent too much time on the side of selling, so she sells the pieces she makes and never uses.

they are willing to pay. I asked whether or not she charges for the cost of labor and she said she doesn’t factor it in. Becca also addressed how people’s skewed perceptions of the cost of items complicate her ability to price her items. “I’ve seen it on social media a lot, people have this perception, I think with like fast fashion and everything, of what something is worth. It’s always like, ‘Aw, I could get this on Shein for five dollars’.

I’m like, ‘Well, yeah, but I made this’.”

This was true of most of the artists I spoke to.

Maddy commented, “I typically make jewelry for myself, but I can’t have it all, so I just sell it”. Anna shared a similar experience: “I usually start out making things that I really love, but then I never end up wearing them because I’m like, this is too fancy for me. I have aspirations and dreams of wearing this, but on the daily, it doesn’t really fit”. Becca added, “I had all these supplies and I was making all these earrings and I was like, ‘maybe I shouldn’t keep these all to myself ’”.

All of the artists I got to speak to expressed passion for their art and care in creating it. They have unique tastes and styles that come through in their work. There’s something special about having a piece of jewelry from someone who enjoys making pieces and devotes their time to creating unique and quality pieces.

In terms of selling their work, most of the artists sell their pieces casually through Instagram.

Using the classic Instagram storefront method, they post their pieces and people can DM them if they see something particularly tantalizing.

All of the artists seemed to prefer selling to people nearby, either to friends or fellow Vassar students, in order to avoid the hassle and cost of shipping jewelry. Every artist mentioned tabeling as the ideal time to sell their pieces. Fortunately, Vassar has a variety of festivals and events at which the artists can lay out their pieces and sell without the hassle of a permit, which they would otherwise need at a public event.

For my last question, I decided to ask each of the artists why they thought jewelry mattered and why it was important to them. Every artist had the same sentiment: that it was about self-expression and an opportunity to decorate yourself in a unique and personal way.

“I just feel like it makes outfits so much more fun. Like I feel really bare without my bracelets and my rings” Abby said.

Anna says: “It’s just so fun to accessorize, obviously. Like, I think a necklace or a bracelet is something fun to fidget with, but it’s also such a small, little, intricate thing that can show so much about a person’s style and I think that is just really beautiful”.

Becca was more involved in the selling end of jewelry-making than most of the other artists I interviewed, as she started selling her pieces in high school. I was curious about how she went about pricing her items and she explained that she tries not to make her items cost too much and that she only really charges the amount of materials cost plus a few extra dollars for profit. She doesn’t want to charge people more than

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A Brief History of Crochet and the Tension of its Politics

By Rebecca King

Crochet is one of the most well-known and, as of right now, trendy forms of fiber arts.

The exact origins of the craft crochet are unknown, but it can be traced back to several different countries. The craft as we know it today began in the 19th century as a simplified form of lace-making, with the first pattern being published in Holland in 1824. During the potato famine of the 1830’s in Ireland, Irish nuns were trained in the craft in France and brought the techniques back to their home country, where they were able to teach it to impoverished homeworkers. These homeworkers crafted what was known as “Irish Lace”, which was sold to members of the upper-class in Europe and America.

European immigrants brought crochet to America, where upper and middle-class women took up the craft as a leisure activity. Women who had the time and privilege to pursue the craft adorned their homes with their crocheted lace as a status symbol. Soon enough, patterns were published in women’s magazines and the craft became much more

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widely accessible. In fact, it became so widely accessible that by the mid-twentieth century, crochet doilies were no longer associated with the elite, but the lower class. During this spread of popularity, crafters also began crocheting with wool yarn instead of just the fine thread that was used for doilies, which allowed for the creation of crochet hats, mittens, blankets, and more. Crocheting with yarn is arguably the most popular form of crochet today. While it was once passed down from generation to generation by family members, many new fiber artists are now learning this craft through relatively new formats: YouTube and TikTok. I am personally among the generation of crocheters who have primarily learned the craft through video tutorials. The very first time I tried to crochet through a written pattern, it seemed impossible. It took several YouTube videos for me to learn how to do a magic circle (and I still need to watch a tutorial nearly every time I start a new pattern that is made in

the round). Having patterns available in a video format has brought the craft to a whole new audience and removed barriers for many people who may be interested in the craft but don’t have family members to learn from or who may need a visual to learn. This is wonderful news for the preservation of the craft. Many people once thought that crafts like crochet, knit, and embroidery would one day become a “lost art”, but these craft communities are as healthy and diverse as ever. In fact, crochet’s new popularity on social media has allowed activists to promote the craft as a counter-movement to fast fashion.

Like many other crafts, crochet has had political affiliations throughout its history. During World War II, homemade clothing was considered “patriotic” as it conserved resources for the military, which started a trend of crocheting sweaters. Hippies in the 1960’s and 1970’s used crocheted clothing as an outlet of self expression and detachment from consumerism. While the political associations of the craft cooled down from the 1970’s to the 2010’s, many new fiber artists have picked up the craft within

the past few years as a form of resistance against fast fashion and its use of sweatshops and reliance on micro-trends.

Unlike knit, crochet is impossible to replicate on a machine. Each stitch needs to be placed indiv idu a lly, has multiple layers, and requires dexterity that no machine is capable of. This means that any crochet i t e m found in a retail store w a s handc r af t e d by a real person who likely spent multiple hours on a single piece. However, many fast fashion brands like Shein sell crochet items for prices that are so cheap that it is impossible for the workers who created the item to be fairly compensated, especially considering the repetitive motion injuries that any crocheter is constantly at risk of. Additionally, fast fashion relies on microtrends to bring in constant sales as consumers discard their “old” clothes and buy new ones at a breakneck pace. By hand making their own clothing pieces, crocheters are keeping money out of the hands of fast fashion companies and boycotting their practice of unethical crochet. Also, in my personal experience, investinghours into a singular piece of clothing creates a genuine attachment to that piece, which means I am much more likely to wear that piece often and keep it for years to come. While I can’t speak for all fiber artists, I

know that many others feel the same and use crochet as a way to reflect on their own attachment to clothing and participation in trend cycles. Learning the craft and buying ethically made crochet won’t solve all of the problems that fast fashion perpetuates, but it is just one way that we can promote ethical, sust ai n abl e fashion practices.

Unlike knit, crochet is impossible to replicate on a machine. Each stitch needs to be placed indi” vidually, has multiple layers, and requires dex” terity that no machine is capable of.”

Sowden, Hailey Mayrant.

“Unraveling Crochet.”

(2015).

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My Mom Taught Me

Androgyny

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I received a dark green handme-down fleece from my brother when I was in elementary school. It was distinctly unappealing to a young kid who voluntarily wore neon matching sets. I grew up in Florida, so buying a new one was simply impractical. I was devastated. It was a boy’s fleece and I was, ostensibly, a girl. I felt a deep terror of being made fun of for dressing like a boy.

My mom asked if adding some pink, crocheted applique flowers would fix it. I skeptically allowed her to try. I would love to have that decorated pullover in my closet now, but I know I couldn’t have worn it more than once. Recently, my mom and I talked about how silly the terror and disgust I felt seems, when now I am Majorly Transgender. She already understood at that point what I had yet to learn: that your clothes don’t dictate your gender.

Frances Walker Fox

When I say my mom taught me androgyny, I mean she gave me a model for androgynous gender expression that wasn’t filtered through societal ideals. She taught me that androgyny isn’t just masculinity on skinny, white folks assigned female at birth (AFAB), or skirts on skinny, white celebrities assigned male at birth (AMAB). Androgyny is wearing what you want, especially if that involves mixing what is traditionally masculine with what is traditionally feminine.

For my mom, it was wearing men’s jeans because they have deep pockets and slipping her feet into a pair of heels, which she tested in-store to see if she could run to catch a bus while wearing them.

My mom told me she knew she couldn’t please everyone, so she might as well dress the way she wants. She is very much a cisgender woman, and most who

Diane Keaton in Annie Hall

have experienced life as a woman will understand the difficulty of embodying womanhood “successfully,” or even neutrally.

Where I find connection to my mother is in the realization that I would also never please people in the way I embody my gender (transmasculinity).

Arriving at Vassar exposed me to a whole new set of ideals of gender expression–now I was allowed to be trans, but it seemed to me as though there were “right” ways to do it. If I dressed too feminine, if I loved my body too much, would I be seen as not really transmasc? Much of my worry was internalized transphobia and fear carried over from the land of Floridian public schooling, but I know other transmasc people frequently undergo a similar journey of avoiding femininity, just like I avoided masculinity as a kid, before returning to it hesitantly.

The purple shacket in question

Drag is the place where I let my femininity out in explosions, but my mom’s hand-me-downs are how I occupy my androgyny daily, from her brown two-piece suit (partially featured in our cover shoot!) that she bought when she began work as a professor to help her feel powerful and feminine, to her purple corduroy shacket that she is wearing in a picture that four year old me took

Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally

on a disposable camera. Oversized button-downs and understated Italian heels, a giant men’s wool sweater that hasn’t been handed down but that I constantly pine over. Clothes have power and stories and act as shells of safety, blankets of comfort; these pieces are like my mom’s hug when she’s twelve hundred miles away. Clothes have never changed

my mom’s woman-ness, and they will never change my transness.

Embracing that idea is, to me, a pillar of androgynous fashion.

Part of my love of my mom’s fashion is my love of 80s fashion. As my mom puts it, “there was [definitely] an 80s thing of wearing masc clothes either to be taken seriously and/or to deflect sexual objectification and/or to emphasize femme-ness through contrast and/or to be more comfortable (see Meg Ryan in Harry Met Sally, Diane Keaton in Annie Hall).” I don’t mind this. I’m happy to express androgyny in the tradition of women. I don’t need to swear off the beauty of femininity to be androgynous. Androgyny isn’t just masculinity, because masculinity is not neutrality. I want a playful androgyny, not a strictly grayscale, tailored one. I want an androgyny with mended sleeve cuffs and crocheted appliques on outgrown fleeces, one where my levels of masculinity and femininity aren’t measured and balanced on the scales of palatability. My mom taught me that there’s a lot of judgment that isn’t worth waiting for. We still care how we look; my mother recalls her mom saying “l’occhio vuole la sua parte,” or, “the eye wants its share.” We value beauty and we honor our bodies, but we do so on our own terms.

Who are you to tell me if I’m a woman or not because I wear my mom’s paisley skirt? My mother’s womanhood is stronger than a piece of fabric, and my transness is more substantial than the layers I shed at the end of the day. Those fabric layers carry us through the world, but we define them, they don’t define us.

I have to think that a lot of trans people are denied the experience of connecting with their cis mothers over fashion and beauty. It’s hard to reach out to your mom and tell her you want to talk about colored mascara when you’ve told her you’re masculine (either in a cis way or a trans way). It’s terrifying, because what if her eyebrows knit together and she asks if you’re confused? I grieve for the folks whose parents do react that way or whose parents they can’t even approach with such a request. I grieve because I know what it is to hold up my mom’s clothes and say this is EVERYTHING as she tells me about buying it after her dissertation got published, or how it was her mom’s before hers, or how her nonna made it for her. Transphobia deprives so many trans people of connection with our parents. I want to celebrate the trans joy of the lucky moments when that’s not the case, like when a cis mom and her transmasc kid help each other put together outfits for a special occasion. I want there to be space for transmasc kids who loved to talk about clothes with their moms when they were younger to not need to abandon that perceived femininity in the name of achieving an idealized masculinity. I want my mom’s androgyny to be a possibility for more people. I want clothes and gender to be a playground that everyone romps around, trying on their dad’s sweaters with their mom’s skirts and their sibling’s heels. I want us to buy the jeans with the big pockets because we have shit to carry, and to know that our gender is ours no matter what section we found them in. I want my mom to know that I love her, and that I am honored to house pieces of her life in my closet.

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Exec Board Editor-in-Chief

Media

Angelica Zhiyu Luo

Sadie Hammarhead Julia Colon

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EiC Assistants

Layout

Frances Walker Fox Carissa Kolcun

Gwen Ma h

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Editorial

Wyatt Keleshian Henryk Kessel h

Photo/Film

Jade Hsin Willow Grote Abigail Straus

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Model Director Lily Tarrant h

Style/Beauty Brianna Tran Leta Blades

Contributors Writers

Wyatt Keleshian Leta Blades Frances Walker Fox Lindsay Shih Abigail Straus Rebecca Lynn King

Layout

Sofia Abrahamson Zoe Polinsky Paige King Gwen Ma Emilia von Lilien-Brockmeyer Emma Sandrew Angelica Zhiyu Luo

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Photographers Jade Hsin Willow Grote Abigail Straus Addison Moore Anisá Schmeil h

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Media

Anisá Schmeil Caroline Robinson Gabriella Maniatis Maria Shonsonga Giana Rizzo Mia Zottoli

Models

Zak Shearn Wyatt Keleshian Jacqueline Jewett Kendall Wienecke Jacob Raphan Koray Tëkin Aidan Wisherd Derek Sando Julian Funaro Mauricio Mejia Eli Torrey Isabel Yu Sudiksha Miglani Maritza Flores 43

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