Parent Caregivers

“Some evenings, it just kind of happens. Dinner will end and then it gravitates to board games and wrestling on the floor with the kids and the dogs, and just having a good time with no issues…no challenges,” Jacob Epperson reflects on day-to-day life as a father to a special needs child. “Just fun and calmness from beginning to end, and that would beat a trip to Disney World any day of the week.” tired we are until we’re falling asleep in the middle of whatever,” Epperson says. “Or until you have a meltdown yourself because you are emotionally exhausted,” Oelke adds.

Let’s face it – regardless of what your family might look like, parenthood is one of the wildest, scariest, and most exciting rollercoasters you might ever experience. But for families with special needs children, all of those feelings can be amplified – the triumphs and the tribulations.

“Every time the phone rings, we hold our breath waiting to hear what the other person says,” Epperson explains. “It could be, ‘don’t forget the bread,’ or it could be ‘it’s an emergency, we’ve got to go.’” He says there is that small moment of panic every time the phone rings or a text comes in.

Oelke says that parents often don’t take care of their own needs, especially parents of special needs children. She describes a triumphant day as one where everyone is happy, mellow, and getting along. But for the days that don’t end so peacefully, Oelke says it’s important to find people you can connect with and vent to.

-Jacob

As another parent to special needs children, Sarah Oelke echoes similar sentiments, “The phone ringing – I get that from the school because one of ours has sensory issues and gets overwhelmed, and my other kiddo has a neuromuscular disorder.” Oelke emphasizes, “You always hold your breath….”

Epperson and Oelke say that in families with special needs children, these occurrences can become so “normal” that parents often don’t realize they may need a little help. “It is very hard to realize how physically and emotionally

Epperson notes that it’s easy to relate to someone when they open up first, but it’s hard to be vulnerable and tell others when you are struggling. He says he and his wife like to carry around a small stack of Starbucks gift cards to lift the spirits of parents they see out in public who may be having a rough time. “We just quietly walk up to the parent and give them the gift card,” Epperson explains.

Director of Integrated Health and Services Sally Kerr says that caregivers can face emotional, financial, or physical strain, often resulting in anxiety, depression and other health issues. She says the most important thing we can do as healthcare professionals is just make sure they are managing their own healthcare needs.

Kerr says that Variety Care’s Integrated Health Services Department can help patients in need of additional support resources.