2020 VanPride Magazine

Presenting Partner:

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

InSIDe: Virtual Events Schedule LGBTQAI2S+ Reading Lists Poetry QTBIPOC Self-Care Making Cocktails and More!

Queer AnD QuArAnTIneD APArT Re-Imagining Pride 2020

DeAr WHITe GAy FrIenD

PrIDe, PArADeS AnD PrOTeSTS 1

YOU'RE HERE. YOU'RE QUEER. This Pride is a little different.

Let's celebrate with caution.

Please continue to wash your hands, stay two metres apart, and follow public health advice.

— HEDY Dr. Hedy Fry, MP Vancouver Centre (604) 666-0135 hedy.fry@parl.gc.ca HedyFry.com

COVID-19 support information at Canada.ca/Coroavirus 2

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

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www.bcnu.org

BC’s NURSES CELEBRATE PRIDE 2020

BCNU is proud to represent members of Vancouver’s LGBTQ2+ community and is committed to the delivery of safe patient care for all #Nurses2020 #HelpKeepNursesSafe 4

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

PRIDE HAPPY

PETER JULIAN, MP

LOVE IS LOVE

JAGMEET SINGH, MP

JENNY KWAN, MP

DON DAVIES, MP

Vancouver Kingsway New Westminster—Burnaby Burnaby South Vancouver East 110-888 Carnarvon St, 4940 Kingsway, 2572 E Hastings St, Vancouver, 2951 Kingsway, Vancouver, BC V5R 5J4 New Westminster, BC V3M 0C6 BC V5H 2E2 BC V5K 1Z3 604-775-6263 604-775-5707 604-291-8863 604-775-5800 Don.Davies@parl.gc.ca Peter.Julian.c1@parl.gc.ca Jagmeet.Singh@parl.gc.ca Jenny.Kwan@parl.gc.ca

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

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Contents Indigenous Welcomes.....................08 Message from the Board of DIrectors.............................10

Virtual Event Schedule...................22 Accessibility.........................................23 2020 LGBTQ+ Booklist: Picture Books......................................23 Stay True..............................................24

Message from the Mayor..............10

Hungover Divination.........................24

Dear White Gay Friend................... 12

Amen.......................................................24

the mighty urban native.................14

Pride, Parades and Protests........ 28

do you dream.......................................14

whichever gods are watching.............................................. 29

QTBIPOC Self-Care.......................... 16 Marsha P Johnson Colouring Page................................... 17

Love Conquers All............................ 30

Seatbelts............................................... 17 Love in the Time of Corona.......... 18

2020 LGBTQ+ Booklist: Young Adult........................................ 33

2020 LGBTQ+ Booklist: Board Books........................................ 18

Being, Becoming and Belonging: QueerCrip Mycologies.....................34

Queer and Quarantined Apart........................... 20

The First Step.................................... 36

2020 LGBTQ+ Booklist: Middle Grade...................................... 20

Finding Pride........................................32

Making Ourselves Up As We Go Along...................................... 38 Our Partners.......................................42

A note about our new brand Over the past year, local award-winning design agency Carter Hales Design Lab took Vancouver Pride on a journey to rebrand with a fresh look and a relaunched website to better reflect the new direction we have embarked on as an organization. We are deeply appreciative of their time, work and creativity. Visit them at www.carterhales.com.

2020 VanPride Magazine Editor: Kaschelle Thiessen Publisher: Gail Nugent Design, Layout & Sales Support: Tara Rafiq Sales: Kristina Mameli and Glenn Stensrud Published by Glacier Media Group Vancouver Pride deeply appreciates the staff who work year-round to create events and advocate for LGBTQAI2S+ communities. Many folks do not see the long hours, hard work and dedication that goes into creating Pride events year round—we see and are grateful for your passion and commitment.

This is especially true this year as we navigate the shift to virtual events, learn new skills on the fly and work through a pandemic. Read our story of change at vancouverpride.ca/news/story-of-change.

Executive Director: Andrea Arnot Managing Director: Alicea Praeker Event Manager: Madison Holding Communications Manager: Kaschelle Thiessen Community Partnerships & QTBIPOC Outreach Coordinator: Serene Carter Exhibitor Services Coordinator: Jo Gray Partnerships Coordinator: Glenn Stensrud Program Assistant: Elana Mabrito Communications Intern: Hailey Orrange

Pride Patrons COVID-19 couldn’t cancel Pride—it made us find creative ways to celebrate in alternative ways. When we made the move to a virtual event schedule, several of our exhibitors and parade participants chose to donate their booth and parade fees to us. Without their support, we would be facing a very different situation than we are right now. Vancouver Pride Society would like to recognize and appreciate the following Pride Patrons for keeping our performers paid, staff employed, wi-fi flowing and doors open this year!

Amazon Vancouver Bank of Montreal BC Housing BC Humanist Association BC Hydro Pride Network BC NDP BC Nurses Union BC SPCA Burnaby School District Canadian Bar Association of BC Candee Jones Lemonade Cart Vending CBC Vancouver Chickpea Food Truck Christ Alive Community Church 6

Christ Church Cathedral Consular Corps of BC Dim Sum Express Douglas College English Bay Whiskey Jacks Family Services of the North Shore Give Your Dog A Bone Half Assiduity Arts Japanese Teriyaki Express Langara College Latinos y Amigos LGBTQ2+ Association in BC Lawson Lundell LLP Little Sisters' Book & Art Emporium

Museum of Vancouver Musqueam Indian Band NEON LOVE by ZULA Nordstrom Pride Flags & Costumes Qmunity Rainbow City Performing Arts Seattle Real Canadian Superstore Roasted Revolution Stantec Pride Resource Group Surrey Schools Technical Safety BC Telus TIEN NEO EAMAS WIZARD

Transit Museum Society Tsleil-Waututh Nation Vancity Original® Brand Vancouver Aces and Aros Vancouver Communities in Solidarity with Cuba Vancouver Junior Roller Derby Vancouver School Board Vancouver Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence VAN-PAH VCA Canada Visier Solutions Warnett Hallen LP Whatever Floats Your Boat Re-Imagining Pride 2020

P R I D E igastoresbc.com

MUNITY BC’S QUEER, TRANS, AND TWO-SPIRIT RESOURCE CENTRE

QMUNITY is what happens when LGBTQ2S+ folks searching for community come together to meet, guide, and support each other.

Education & Training Services: • Training • Resources • Consulting • PrideSpeaks

Support Services: • • • • •

Youth Programming Seniors & Older Adults Programming Counselling Services Information and Referrals Social & Support Groups

• Volunteer Opportunities • Special Events Become a member today! visit our website qmunity.ca/take-action 1170 Bute Street, Vancouver, BC | 604.684.5307 | qmunity.ca Re-Imagining Pride 2020

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Indigenous Welcomes si:é nə siyéə ʔəi ce:p kʷətxʷiləm ʔi ʔə tə a šxʷməθkʷəəmaʔɬ təməxʷ, tə šxʷʔaəts tə shəəmiəqən ʔiʔ sqʷχʷaməx ʔiʔ səl̕ ilwətaʔɬ. ʔə tə šxʷqʷeləwən ct. seə ct ʔəw iyətalə

On behalf of the Squamish Nation LGBTQAI2S+ Community and our allies, we welcome you to our shared territory. We stand united with all two-spirited people to embrace and celebrate diversity and love. We raise our hands to the community leaders who have worked, and continue to work, tirelessly to make this world a safer, more welcoming place for LGBTQAI2S+ people of all races and genders.

Happy Pride!

SQUAMISH NATION

Honoured friends and relatives Welcome to the ancestral territory of the həəmiə speaking Musqueam people and also Squamish and Tsleil-Waututh.

It brings us great joy to be part of the 42nd Annual Vancouver Pride Parade, and to join the celebration and honouring of our respected Two Spirit relatives, and our LGBTQIA+ friends and allies.

Welcome to the unceded traditional territory of the Tsleil-Waututh, Musqueam and Squamish people. We are honoured and proud to celebrate the 42nd Anniversary of Vancouver Pride with all of you. We have good feelings in our hearts to join and uplift our two-spirited and LGBTQIA+ friends and relatives. Our nation is happy to participate and celebrate with the City of Vancouver and the Pride community.

We raise our hands to the organizers of these important events, and look forward to sharing the Pride and Love with you again this year.

We join our relatives in raising our hands with gratitude to all those involved in making this event possible. We hope you enjoy your visit on our beautiful shared territory.

MUSQUEAM NATION

TSLEIL-WAUTUTH NATION COUCIL

At past Pride events, members of the Greater Vancouver Native Cultural Society, a non-profit Two-Spirit community organization, have presented the Down Ceremony.

The Down Ceremony is a sacred ceremony used by many coastal First Nations, and gives us an opportunity to cleanse the grounds on which Pride events will be held.

The Down feathers are blown into the air. It is a part of the ceremonial cleansing which offers a blessing, and it may fall on your person. It also signifies that “we come in peace!” This year in these unprecedented times, we acknowledge the ceremony and our spiritual gift presented, in spirit. Be safe, and remain diligent to help one another through this pandemic.

In the spirit of community fellowship, gREATER VANCOUVER NATIVE CULTURAL SOCIETY

Ale Fragoso photo

The operations of the Vancouver Pride Society take place on the occupied, ancestral, and unceeded territories (Musqueam), Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish),and of the /Selilwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh).

We encourage settlers to think about the lands you are living and celebrating on during virtual pride.

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Re-Imagining Pride 2020

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Re-Imagining Pride 2020

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A message from the Board of Directors

T

hank you so much for joining us for the 2020 edition of Vancouver Pride.

We want to acknowledge that we are holding this event on the traditional, ancestral, and unceded lands of the Musqueam, Squamish and Tsleil-Waututh peoples. We acknowledge and recognize the sacredness of the traditional lands and ancestral territories where we live, work, and build community.

Well, here we are. Finding ways to adapt in the midst of the worst viral pandemic in a century.

It was only last year that we celebrated the 50th anniversary the Stonewall Riots in New York City, often viewed as the start of the modern gay rights movement. While Stonewall was a momentous milestone in our shared history, it was the sustained momentum of the activism, advocacy, and pride that followed that has moved the ball forward in terms of queer and trans human rights. Over the past few months, we have been asked by BIPOC folks around the world to stand in solidarity and join in the call to dismantle the systemic racism that exists, even here in Canada.

Too often erasure of experiences of those facing intersectional oppression is common in our communities. While a key part of early activism and advocacy efforts, trans people and in particular queer and trans Black, Indigenous, people of colour (QTBIPOC) weren't partners in the fight for human rights and often excluded from early Pride events. Kimberlé Crenshaw coined the term intersectionality to describe the overlapping discrimination faced by Black women on the basis of their race and gender, where the combined effects of both types of oppression are greater than either in isolation.

Pride is going to look different. We are mindful that many of the people feeling the full impact of COVID-19 on their physical and mental health, economic livelihood, ability to access genderaffirming health and wellness services are LGBTQIA2S+ folks who face additional barriers due to homophobia, transphobia, biphobia and other forms of oppression as a result of their gender identity/expression or sexual orientation. How we come

Vancouver Pride Board and Staff at 2020 planning meeting.

together this year must look different—but we still must come together. Solidarity, connection and joy remain integral to our communities. Our joy is revolutionary. Our communities have always been resilient and this crisis is no different.

There is an expression, that hindsight is 2020. It's a time to think of what we want to leave behind, and what we want to bring with us into this new world that's being shaped by us collectively. In solidarity with everyone in our beautiful diverse community—Happy Pride!

In solidarity, Michelle Fortin & Catherine Jenkins, Co-Chairs

A message from

the Mayor

O

n behalf of the residents of Vancouver, City of Vancouver staff, and my colleagues on City Council, I want to extend my heartfelt greetings to the entire Pride Community as we mark Pride 2020 here in Vancouver.

I say Pride Community, because this year for the first time in decades, the celebration will not centre around a parade or other physical gatherings, but instead be a more virtual affair. I know that the challenges brought on by COVID-19 will 10

take away some of the magic and power that comes from occupying space with bold and loud symbols of activism and love. But at the same time, this year’s virtual gatherings couldn’t come at a more important time in the ongoing fight for justice and equity for all.

As I write this, across North America and the world, activists from Black, Indigenous and People of Color communities are demanding systemic change that meaningfully and completely addresses the painful legacy of oppression and colonization of non-white people.

Painful, yet powerful conversations around the role of police, governments, corporations and other intuitions are

leading to real and positive action. Here in Vancouver, we are not immune to systemic racism and discrimination, and the roots of Pride remind us that this event is far more than a simple celebration, it is a focal point for righteous anger and organization.

So this year, more than most, Pride is an opportunity to reflect on our individual ability to demand change and the power that comes from coming together to fight for justice–whether that’s in person, or not.

On behalf of the City of Vancouver, thank you for fighting–now and always.

Mayor Kennedy Stewart Re-Imagining Pride 2020

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Re-Imagining Pride 2020

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Dear White Gay Friend

by Adrienne Smith

H

ello friend! Happy Pride! I know you have lots of questions about how the Vancouver Pride Society (VPS) is responding to continent-wide protests about race and the police—so here goes:

“If we operated as though everyone in the world has the same experience of discrimination as those of us experiencing the least discrimination, we would be part of the problem.”

Why can’t Pride just be a fun party? Why are you making it political?

more or less discrimination. The impact of multiple types of discrimination (homophobia plus racism and sexism for example) compounds the discrimination.

Life is very different for cis het white men than it is for cis het gay men; than it is for lesbians of colour, than it is for disabled trans folks. This is a true fact and not something we can ignore. Because we are a community and a movement, VPS is invested in the liberation of all of our members who are queer and who are experiencing compounded discrimination (as trans and black folks obviously are). We also know we need to work in solidarity with equity-seeking groups beyond the queer alphabet, because our liberation is all bound up together.

From the very beginning of our movement, Pride has been a protest. Our queer elders will tell us about Stonewall, but we seem to forget that the Stonewall *riot* was a group of Black and Latinx sex workers of colour, fighting back against police harassment. Our history is important, and remembering all of it is important.

We have tremendous freedom in cities like Vancouver to be able to march in the street to show our pride without being attacked or arrested. Generally we can feel safe at Pride, and the celebration atmosphere makes it easy to forget our roots. But because not every member of our community can have a safe march in their home town, and not every member of our community can feel safe at our events, we need to keep fighting for queer and trans liberation. This is why VPS took the position that participants in our annual observation and celebration of that Riot must publicly support transgender rights; and that’s why we are taking the position that police will not be welcome at Pride. It has always been political.

Why do we need to be divisive and talk about race? Pride is about sexual orientation and gender identity.

Discrimination is intersectional so our response to it needs to be intersectional.

Intersectional, a term coined by Black academic Kimberlé Crenshaw, means people have lots of different identity markers, some of which lead to experience 12

If we operated as though everyone in the world has the same experience of discrimination as those of us experiencing the least discrimination, we would be part of the problem. If we did that, people who experience more discrimination would quite rightly say that the world is unfair, and that our events don’t feel welcoming and safe for them. Members of our communities were very specific that police at Pride events made them unsafe and kept them from being able to participate. We believe them. The ongoing public murder of Black folks is not something we can unsee. In the same way that Pride is political, being queer has always been about race for people who are racialized. Those of us who don’t have to live that have an obligation to be allies to Black people—in the way we expect some straight people to be good allies for us, and we don’t invite homophobes to the party.

But I’m not racist.

Racism isn’t about a few bad apples, it is

a system of hate and violence that affects every aspect of society. White supremacy is a system which begins with unconscious bias, then hateful words (using the n-word, ever, if you are not Black), and then hateful actions (following Black folks around in a store, assuming they stole something; lynching; police killings). If you are not actively fighting racism and working to dismantle this system, you are effectively saying you agree with it. This is especially bad if you are a white person who benefits from it. Also, did you see how asking this question makes everything about you? This pulls focus from what Black people are saying. Don’t do that. This isn’t your moment. Unless you are a Black person, in which case here is the mic.

Talking about race makes me uncomfortable.

You are lucky you are feeling discomfort and not the actual harm of racism. Unless you missed the point and you are uncomfortable because black folks are asking for justice. Join their call.

What do the police have to do with Pride?

Police forces were established in the United States for the purpose of capturing enslaved people who had escaped from the White people who enslaved them. No really. Go look it up.

After slavery was abolished (this took decades), police enforced a set of exclusionary Jim Crow laws which segregated Black people from White people and denied them access to education, economic opportunities, healthcare, and access to services.

Remember Rosa Parks? The police came to arrest her. You’ve heard of the Black PanRe-Imagining Pride 2020

thers? The organized community health care and food programs for Black people because the government wouldn’t.

But this all in the past, isn’t it?

We like to pretend that our country is fair (ask Indigenous people about this); and that we are somehow nicer than our neighbours in the US. This is a lie we tell ourselves about ourselves. There was slavery in Canada for 200 years. Canada’s police force was also established to protect the property and possessions of White people as we colonized west. Canada’s first prime minister, Sir John A. Macdonald, got the idea for the Mounties from the Royal Irish Constabulary, a paramilitary police force the British created to keep the Irish under control. Mounties were created for a specific purpose: to assert sovereignty over Indigenous people and their land.

We can’t ignore the racist history of policing in Canada, and we cannot deny that Black folks still experience segregation and discrimination from coast to coast.

We have our own maple flavoured system of segregation. Go read some more about Hogan’s Alley.

If you are able to believe that the police are here for everyone, and they keep us safe and you want them around your neighbourhood and school, you probably haven’t been their target. This doesn’t get them off the hook for their bad behaviour, and it doesn’t relieve you of your obligation to call out bad policing. Cuz hey, if you see something, say something.

But there are some good cops?

The problem with policing isn’t about a few bad apples. It is part of a racist system that enforces privilege with violence.

Yes, I have seen the puppy calendar. Have you seen how many police complaints, civil suits and discipline investigations end with greater police accountability and justice for their victims?

Sure, there are some pacifist soldiers and some billionaire CEOs of fortune 500 companies give to charity and dutifully

recycle and compost at home, but they are part of the machine that is literally kneeling on the necks of Black folks, or standing by watching it happen.

Ok so maybe not marching in the Parade, but what does defund the police mean? Isn’t that a bit drastic?

Defund means exactly what it sounds like.

Give less money to. Reduce the budget of. Some activists are calling for greater action—they want the police abolished.

There is nothing drastic about this demand. There is no good reason an urban police force needs military vehicles, spy equipment, and carbide rifles.

What about crime?

Punishing people through the legal system and sending them to jail is not going to stop crime. Those of us who are White need to make sure our fear of crime is not actually a fear of Black people. Crime rates have actually been decreasing since the 80s. We know from the statistics that Black and Indigenous folks are overrepresented in prisons (in the US it is Black and Latinx people). This isn’t because these groups are criminals—it is because we keep them segregated in poverty, overpolice them, and the courts are told to throw the book at them.

Can I still call the cops?

Stop calling the cops. Calling the police doesn’t make anybody safer. It might make you *feel* safer but it doesn't make us all safer. Don’t be that White woman in New York who called the cops because a Black man told her to put her dog on a leash. Calling the cops makes you part of the problem.

As a society we need to take action to strengthen the social safety net so crime is less likely to happen (no really—there is SO much evidence about this); and we need to develop community responses to crime that repair communities. Communities of colour and people farthest from justice have been working on this for generations. We should listen.

Lan Nguyen/Pexels photo

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

Continued next page >>

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Ok, I get that our history is still happening, it is racist, and the police are part of the problem. How exactly do we defund them? Can I still call them?

Policing levels are set by the Province.

The Police Act requires a police force, paid for by municipalities. Cities can have their own police, or they can hire the RCMP. In Vancouver, one fifth of the city budget goes to policing, but Council doesn’t actually control how it is spent. The ins and outs of policing policy and spending is set by a provincially appointed Vancouver Police Board, usually with input from the Chief of police and the executive of the police force (who are staff).

Recently the Vancouver City Council tried to reduce the police budget by 1%, and the Police Board said no. A direction to reduce the police budget would prob-

ably have to come from the Minister of Public Safety (sort of like how the Minister of Education can tell School Boards to spend less); and there would need to be a reduction in the level of policing set by the province. So, call your MLA, and CC your city council and the Police Board.

Ok, now what?

Step one of being a good ally practicing anti racism is listening to racialized people when they say they are hurting. Black folks say they are living in a world where their lives don’t matter. They are saying this because they experience racism every day, and are harassed, assaulted and killed by police. They are not imagining this. It is a fact older than this country. We should believe survivors of police violence. Many of these folks are queer and trans, and they are members of our city family. The very least we can do is not invite their abuser to the party. ●

the mighty urban native by Jaz the mighty urban native when rushing traffic starts to sound like rushing water your too far from home home is too far from you even if your standing on it i thought my writing might get better if I got back to the land but it didn't it’s the same or worse maybe it’s easy to see beauty in art while your in the city because there is so little beauty around you poison gender displaced the mighty urban native go home and stay alone stay with your people and have no home either way my heart beats gone

Adrienne Smith is a social justice lawyer. They live and work on səl̓ilwətaɁɬ təməxʷ (TsleilWaututh),

Skwxwú7mesh-ulh Temíx̱w

(Squamish), S’ólh Téméxw (Stó:lō),

Stz’uminus, xʷməθkʷəy̓əm

(Musqueam) territory in the Downtown Eastside, where they are working to address the harm that law causes to marginalized communities. Adrienne works with drug users, prisoners, sex workers, trans, and racialised people seeking justice; on transgender inclusion (for organizations), and on dismantling white supremacy (for white people). Adrienne is White and trans.

do you dream

by Jaz

long black horse hair and red brown clay beads i dream do you dream? indian cars and sweet leather jackets gay fun fringe and careless sun naps rivers rushin cold slimy green rocks river cricket skins and broken fish rods just a nets good enough you crazy indian one shoes gone now walk home with none dusty rough feet red brown on the top clay dust on the bottom i’ll walk you home or we can stay here the night river bank mosquitoes and itchy wet pants or we can take them off

Jaz is a 2 spirit anti-professional, working as an interdisciplinary artist with a focus on decolonization and indigenous autonomy. they are a defender of the sacred and use their craft as a tool to decolonization and land sovereignty. they reside as an uninvited guest on unceded and ancestral territories of the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), səl̓ilwətaɁɬ (Tsleil-waututh), and sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), otherwise and colonially known as Vancouver. they and their fire are from unceded secwepemculecw of the south-central interior of so-called british columbia.

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Re-Imagining Pride 2020

OUT SOMETIMES NOT ALL THE TIME, ALWAYS PROUD! We know there are good reasons why some people may not be out.

Visit outness.ca to learn more about the complexities of outness.

Delivering health care with Pride  /hospitalemployeesunion  @heu_in_bc \ @HospEmpUnion  heu.org Re-Imagining Pride 2020

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QTBIPOC self care

Since self care can look different for different people, we have compiled a list of amazing QTBIPOC service providers and businesses, many of them femme or non-binary owned, who do their best to serve QTBIPOC community. Many of the folks on this list provide sliding scale fees for their work and are committed to collaborating with other QTBIPOC organizations so you can support individuals while taking care of yourself.

Anna Soole Metis Coach/ Facilitator/ Consultant www.annasoole.com Fayza Bundalli Somatic Therapist http://www.fayzabundalli.com Hex Metals and Minerals Adrienne Yeung www.hexmetalsminerals.com Iron Dog Books Bookshop and Booktruck for low cost reading www.irondogbooks.com

Retha Ferguson photo

T

he term “self-care” gets bandied about a lot. Social media self-care tip lists abound, recommending wine and bubble baths. But what does self-care really mean and who is it for?

Self-care is when we consciously take action to take care of ourselves, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. While this can sometimes look like an evening of pampering to decompress after a rough week, it more often looks like making intentional plans to take care of ourselves and our lives. Doing laundry and planning meals for the week ahead may not look sexy, but it is self care! Putting down the phone and stopping the doom scrolling, getting enough sleep, eating foods that give us energy and finding ways to move our body that energize us are all ways we can help maintain our minds and bodies so we can move through the day.

Sometimes we look outside our own homes for some support in our self care routine like visiting a counsellor or joining a gym. Yet so many “self care” services are aimed towards white people which can make QTBIPOC feel like accessing care is like a luxury, if not a privilege. So many of the “self care” services currently available uphold white colonial standards of beauty and health. They can also expose us to discrimination—too many of us have had the experience of going to gym, spa or salon to take care of our body only to be shamed for having the wrong sort of body.

Recognizing that Black and Indigenous people are often on the front lines, individual and community care needs to be prioritized to ensure movements are sustainable. ●

Jotika Chaudhary Samant Anti Oppressive Expressive Arts Therapy www.jotikahealingarts.com Kendra Coupland Wellness Coach—Yoga, Meditation and Photography www.kendracoupland.com Kimiko Stella Hair Stylist www.kimikostella.com Premala Matthen Therapist www.skeletonrising.com Ruby Smith Diaz Autonomy Fitness Queer, BIPOC personal fitness www.autonomyfitness.ca

VPS is diligently working on listening to and serving QTBIPOC communities. We recognize that the active involvement and leadership of Two-Spirit, queer, and trans folks from BIPOC communities is required for our work.

Read about what we are doing at vancouverpride.ca/about-us/qtbipoc/ 16

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

Community Care While finding ways to take care of ourselves is important, focusing just on self care ignores how much of the stress we face comes from systemic problems like capitalism. Self care might get us through the week but it won’t dismantle the issues that are causing us harm in the first place!

Some ways you can engage in community care are: • Joining a mutual aid group and providing help where you can • Donating to funds that support grassroots organizers • Making meals for your friends and chosen family • Showing up at protests, rallies and actions • Babysitting for a parent who needs a break • Transfering cash directly to folks who need it • Finding ways to support a friend so they can engage in their own “self care” Want to help Black folks access therapy and mental health support in Vancouver? The Vancouver Black Therapy and Advocacy Fund was set up to support mental health initiatives for Black folks in Vancouver through advocacy and Blackled healing. The fund helps connect Black folks to Black counselors and therapists while prioritizing disabled and LGBTQAI+ people.

Learn more and donate at www.vancouverblacktherapyfund.com ●

Anti-racism workshops July 27 – 7-8pm July 29 – 10-11am August 1 – 3-4pm We are holding several free anti-racism workshops by BIPOC facilitators during Pride Week.

Future dates to be announced.

Livestream through Youtube and Facebook.

Details at vancouverpride.ca or Facebook @VancouverPrideSociety.

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

Marsha P. Johnson colouring page

by Brigit Farga Brigit Fraga is a single mom raising her family in Dalhagli on Wiyot land. Brigit has created a colouring page of civil rights activist Martha P. Johnson which is available for download on our website. Check out Brigit's art which features powerful women on Instagram @____. star._.bish.____ Download from: vancouverpride.ca/blog/mpjcolouring

Seatbelts

by Danny Ramadan I didn’t believe in God back when I was a hitchhiker picked up by whomever stops to hold the candle of my youth for moments that lasted and others that died and dropped by the doors of an old Damascene mosque and told I’m not worthy of the sheets my body stained Gunshot seats were my only option holding on to a seatbelt that cannot be fastened and waiting for the breaks to thrust my back I wondered if maybe He got to know me better, He would believe in me so much so that I will be lifted to His skies and welcomed through an open door that cannot be locked by angels or demons.

I was abandoned to sleep in the corner of the Ummayad mosque yet when the lights went out and midnight approached I wasn’t noticed by the guards of God and I was left alone with Him for the night so I walked on the cold ceramic floors and gathered doe in my socks and I looked up and asked God why have you forsaken me why are you so far from saving me so far from my cries of anguish days prayers are never answered by night creatures yet I find me resting asleep until the early morning comes and I’m awake to hear the muezzin sing.

I spent the day tracing the fainting steps my ancestors engraved on the walls of the mosque and I washed my hands three times and wet my face three times and let the water drop down to my elbow three times and I threw away my wet socks and let my feet dry on the soft red carpet I rested my back on the wooden stairs and I was engulfed by a candle light pray but I knew that when I sat in that corner surrounded by my grandmothers who passed that I’m on a path that requires no faith and that God might not believe in me but He can see that I’m trying. He can see that I’m trying. ●

I didn’t

Danny Ramadan is an award-winning Syrian-Canadian author, public speaker and LGBTQ-refugees activist. He is currently finishing his Masters in Fine Arts – Creative Writing at UBC and lives with his husband, Matthew Ramadan, in Vancouver. www.dannyramadan.com

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love in the Time of Corona

by Serena Jackson

M

y sweetest love lives some forty-four hundred kilometres away from here—I miss her every day.

We are used to this—to text messages and phone calls and Skype sessions—we see each other in person a few times a year, at Christmas, in the summers, and once or twice in between if we are lucky.

I can feel her face light up across the country any time we speak. She holds my heart in her hands as we lay on our respective living room floors; her words make feeling lonely a little less alone. She sees me even in the times where I feel my most invisible. On harder nights, we share a glass of wine or smoke a joint and help each other hang on. We read each other bedtime stories and books about trees and zines about the coming of spring. I send videos of the spring downpour falling from the sky, drenching the rhododendrons outside my bedroom window. She tells me how glad she is to see something that’s green, and how it helps her breathe a little easier. She’s learning to play the ukulele and sings me Rainbow Connection and I can’t keep myself from sobbing.

“Sixty-eight days into isolation, she is struggling. We all are.”

I have three great roommates, a cranky but lovable cat, and a sweet snuggly dog to keep me company. She lives alone and is working from home. Sixty-eight days into isolation, she is struggling. We all are.

Sometimes we call each other not to say anything, just to be together, across provinces and time zones. We’ll be knitting or making dinner or playing video games or folding laundry or washing dishes. While it may not be the same as dancing with her in my kitchen, it helps to scratch the itch, even just a little.

One hundred seventy days since we last saw each other, one hundred days since

Reading list compiled by D. Ann Williams and Ashley Speed of Queer Consultants

Kendra Archer photo

we started social distancing, forty-five days since I was supposed to fly to Ottawa to see her, and somehow, she is in my arms again. We are in Deep Cove, sprawled on a picnic blanket with wine and grapes and goat cheese. We gaze at the water and the mountains. We take turns reading Rebent Sinner and Red, White & Royal Blue, interrupting one another only to point out dogs and cute kids.

We lay on our backs as we stare up at the trees above us, as we notice the clouds drifting by. As she rests her head on my chest and we hold each other for the first time in a long, long time. I am elated. I am grateful. I am home. ●

SerenA JACkSOn is a voracious reader who has a tendency to say “thank you” to the skytrain.

When she isn’t riding bikes or knitting toques, you can often find her cooking and baking for loved ones or fighting the patriarchy.

Queering #CanadaDuringCovid

Ensure the Covid-19 Archives are queer by submitting to the Canada During Covid-19 archive by adding #CanadaDuringCovid or tagging @CanadaDuringCovid on Instagram. Submissions can also be sent to covidarchive@historicacanada.ca 18

recommended reading

D. Ann WIllIAMS (she/her) is a Black queer woman, diversity consultant, and digital marketing strategist.

As a co-founder of Queer Consultants, she facilitates workshops on queer inclusion & representation, intersectionality, and oversees administrative audits (policies and handbooks). In addition to consulting, she sits on the Board of Directors for her local Pride festival (Eugene, OR, USA) and local lesbian chorus. Find her @queerconsultants on IG. Re-Imagining Pride 2020

Sonia Furstenau MLA, Cowichan Valley

Adam Olsen MLA, Saanich North & the Islands

We are so proud to be working with other allies and members of the LGBTQ2+ community to build a safe and inclusive community for everyone.

BC Greens are proud defenders of SOGI123 and other initiatives to build awareness. Whether it is systematic racism, conversion therapy, transphobia or another injustice, everyone deserves to love and be loved without fear of harm or lack of representation. l We wish everyone a safe and joyful celebration for Pride 2020.

HAPPY PRIDE VANCOUVER!

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

19

Queer and Quarantined apart

by Li Charmaine Anne

U-Haul stereotypes begone

T

hroughout the pandemic, I have read many thought-pieces about couples struggling to share space 24/7. But I haven’t seen as many discussions about couples who don’t live together, who have now found themselves in an unexpected long-distance relationship.

I belong to one of these relationships. I have not seen my partner of almost three years for three months now. We are also queer people from immigrant non-White families. Relationship columns in mainstream publications, while fun to read, don’t always resonate with me.

So here’s my story.

So why haven’t we moved in together?

According to a Rent.com survey, 66% of people think six months to two years is enough time in a relationship to move in together. There’s also the U-Haul stereotype that queer women move in together faster than heterosexual couples. Needless to say, I definitely feel the social pressure to move in with the person I’m dating.

So why haven’t I? Well, the high price of Vancouver real estate is a big reason, but culture plays a big role too. As Chinese-Canadians, our families have very different expectations when it comes to living arrangements. I don’t live with my partner; rather, we each live with (or in close proximity to) our parents.

Cultural expectations and living arrangements In the Western world, there seems to be a culture of shame around young adults who live with their parents. But other cultures have different perspectives.

In an ABC news article from 2018, the story of an American family who went to court to evict their adult son was contrasted with very different narratives around

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“I don’t always agree with my family on every issue, but it’s helpful to get out of the English-language echo chamber on occasion.” the world. In places—particularly in the non-West—living with your parents as an adult is welcome. Sometimes, it’s encouraged. Sometimes, not doing so is even frowned upon.

A Global News report echoed a similar sentiment closer to home, reporting that according to Statistics Canada, there was a doubling between 1995 and 2016 in the number of adult children living with their parents. The article told the stories of South Asian and East Asian adults who see living at home with family as a perfectly joyful, shameless experience.

Now, while I grew up in a family culture where I’ve never felt pressured to move out, I’ve always liked being independent. I moved out at age 24. But during phase 1 of the pandemic in B.C., I chose to isolate with my parents in the house I grew up in. (My partner has not moved out of her parents’ house, but she enjoys living with them and helping them out with everyday things.)

Both of us have incomes, by the way, and contribute to household chores, so it’s not like we’re freeloading off our families.

And because our parents are older adults at higher risk of Covid-19 complications, it’s good to have young, able-bodied people around to help them lift things and wipe down groceries.

Before lockdown, I hadn’t lived with my parents 24/7 for two years. To be frank, at first it was challenging to live under someone else’s rules again. But things eventually got sorted out. And I’d much rather isolate with other humans than no humans at all. After all, one of the biggest perks of independent living to a twenty-something year-old—a flexible and spontaneous social life—is no longer a perk. Pubs, live music venues, and house parties have become places I avoid.

Reconnecting with culture back home Living with family has also allowed me to reconnect with aspects of my culture I haven’t engaged with in a long time. I’ve had the chance to eat traditional food, speak Cantonese regularly, and listen to alternative viewpoints.

I’m not proud of it, but I live in a pretty limited English-speaking bubble because I’m practically illiterate when it comes to Chinese. My parents, however, consume mostly Chinese and Asian media. It’s interesting to hear things from their community’s perspective. I don’t always agree with my family on every issue, but it’s helpful to get out of the English-language echo chamber on occasion and confront perspectives I haven’t considered.

Reconnecting with my cultural heritage turned out to be especially important this year. During this pandemic, there have been many disturbing reports of anti-Asian racism even in a city as purportedly diverse as Vancouver. And in recent weeks, I’ve also had the opportunity to chat with my folks about Black Lives Matter and how systemic racism and White supremacy affects us as non-Black people of colour.

What’s the rush?

Finally, being quarantined apart has given me some space for personal reflection.

In fact, it’s made me wonder whether I’m ready to move in with someone at all.

I mean, the fantasy is great: with two incomes, a partner and I could afford an above-ground apartment with a balcony (I’m currently in a basement suite...#Vancouver). We could also pool our resources and get a dog(!) because our parents don’t want one in their houses.

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

“I’ve realized that much of what motivates me to move in with someone is optics: I want to be seen as a grown-up.”

More importantly, couples who live together give society the impression that they’re Adults.

But while dog-parenting and fancy condos are great perks, I’ve realized that much of what motivates me to move in with someone is optics: I want to be seen as a grown-up. In fact, a big reason why I moved out of my parents’ house in the first place was because I wanted to be seen as a grown-up in Western society.

Yet if I’m being honest with myself, there are several things I want to do before “settling down,” so to speak. I want to work abroad. I’m also considering graduate school, which I’d prefer to do abroad as well.

My partner also has a few things on her to-do list. And just like our couple-goals— the YouTubers Rose and Rosie—I like the idea of giving someone the opportunity to live on their own first before living with someone else.

Rod Long/Unsplash photo

And finally, this pandemic has shown me how blessedly privileged I am. Not all folks—especially queer folks—have a family to shelter in place with. I am incredibly grateful to my parents for welcoming me back home, come hell, high water, or unstoppable virus.

My gratitude extends: to my partner, friends, colleagues, and community. Interestingly, the sudden proliferation of virtual tools has made it easier for me to hang out with high school friends. Long-distance gaming and virtual movie parties may not seem like much, but they do bring people closer. We might not be literally together right now, but we are—in every sense—together. ●

recommended reading Reading list compiled by D. Ann Williams and Ashley Speed of Queer Consultants

life on pause The pandemic has forced many people to press pause on their lives, grounding flights and grounding careers. For me, this pause has pushed me to take stock of my life’s direction, to ask what really matters.

And what matters isn’t showing the world how put-together I am. What matters is figuring out what I want to get out of this limited time I have on Earth—which has been further limited by a pandemic.

I should be focusing on that—and if it means delaying my fancy apartment and dog-mom dreams, I have to accept that.

Other folks may learn during this pandemic that the complete opposite is true for them. This pandemic may bring forth a shared lease, a divorce, or a marriage certificate. We’re all walking different lives.

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

lI CHArMAIne Anne (she/they) is a freelance writer and author from the unceded Coast Salish territories known as Vancouver. Her work has appeared in Currents: A Ricepaper Anthology, Plenitude Magazine, Looseleaf Magazine and others. You can read an earlier rendition of this piece (from the beginning of quarantine), as well as other thought-pieces by Charmaine, on the Medium publication An Injustice!: medium.com/@li.charmaine.anne.

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Virtual Event Schedule

P

ride is more than a parade or a festival—it is a feeling, not a physical space—which is why Pride can not be cancelled, only re-imagined.

Connection is more important than ever this year. Join us for Van Virtual Pride—details and livestream links on Facebook @VancouverPrideSociety and at vancouverpride.ca. Follow Vancouver Pride Society on YouTube to get notifications about upcoming live streamed events.

Pride Art Walk

July 20-August 3 *IN-PERSON EVENT* Trips are #cancelled but you can travel through imagination across Downtown Vancouver with six, large-scale public art pieces and murals by local Two-Spirit, Trans and Queer artists. Explore with your household or isolation bubble by following the map on the new Vancouver Pride app.

Drag Deliveries

July 27-August 1, 1pm *IN-PERSON & LIVE STREAMED* Pride comes to YOU this year. We will be driving through areas of Vancouver every day of Pride Week in the Drag Delivery Evo with swag bags and prizes. Watch the excitement through livestream and win prizes. If you are out and about, look out for drag performers with big packages!

Pride Proclamation

July 27, 11:30am-12:00pm *Live Streamed* On August 1, 1981, the first Gay Unity Week Proclamation was read by Mayor Mike Harcourt. Thirty-nine years later the tradition continues. Tune in to hear the official opening of Pride Week and to watch the raising of the Pride and Progress Flags.

Drag Story Time

July 27 • July 29 • July 31, Noon *Live Streamed* *all ages* Settle in for story time with local queen Mina Mercury! Watch and listen to stories that showcase diversity, families and LGBTQ2s+ children during Pride Week!

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Writers Showcase

July 28, 5-6pm *Live Streamed* Enjoy a cocktail hour curated by the Vancouver Writers Fest and hosted by performance poet Rabbit Richards. Hear writers read their works and then ask questions during a live Q&A!

Vancouver Queer History Panel

July 29, 4-5pm Moderated by award-winning journalist Charmaine de Silva for the first annual Vancouver Queer History Pannel. Join six members of local LGBTQAI2S+ communities as they tell their stories of being queer in Vancouver during different times in living memory.

What’s in My Box?

July 28 • July 30 • Aug 1, Noon *Live Streamed* Unboxing Videos: Pride Edition. We’ll take an unsuspecting drag performer and gift a giant package. We are throwing in some wacky items to confuse them. Watch live and win some of the prizes they pull out— what will they unbox?

Pride Fam Pajama Jam

July 28, 7:30-8:30pm *Live Streamed* Dress to the nines or throw on your jammies for a Pride Fam Pajama Jam zoom dance party with DJ Krista.

Home Improvement Kiki Ball

July 29, 5-9pm *Live Streamed* Spectate or compete for a panel of International Judges in the first annual Home Improvement Kiki Ball created in partnership with Van Vogue Jam. Register online in order to compete. Get ready through our free livestreamed Vogue Femme lessons with Ralph Escamilian— previous episodes on FB/Youtube—new episodes every Sunday from 1-2pm.

Global Queer and Trans Rights in a COVID19 World

July 30, 6:30-7:30pm *Live Streamed* People from LGBTIQ communities around the world are facing increased challenges

today, including attacks on human rights and freedoms. This panel brings together four leading activists from different parts of the world facing increasing challenges today. Panelists: Ying Xin, Beijing LGBT Centre, China. Danilo Manzano, Dialogo Diverso, Ecuador. Rosana Flamer-Caldera, Equal Ground Sri Lanka. Raven Gill, Butterfly, Barbados.

Hot Fruit: 5G HEADLINED BY CHAKA KHAN

July 30, 8-10pm *Live Streamed* Local DJ Duo MangoSweet is bringing you a lineup of incredible QTBIPOC art, music and entertainment for your body, mind and soul! Get ready to breathe together, stretch together, sing together, laugh together and dance together while celebrating the beauty and creativity of the QTBIPOC community.

Symphonic Pride with the VSO

July 31, 7pm *Live Streamed* The Vancouver Pride Society and Vancouver Symphony Orchestra are teaming up to create Symphonic Pride, a livestreamed variety show featuring local performers accompanied by members of the VSO and selections by queer composers through the ages.

Vancouver Virtual Pride with PRIDE PARADE August 2, 12-3pm *Live Streamed* Celebrate Van Virtual Pride 2020 with three back-to-back livestreamed events. Travel through the past with the documentary 40+ Years of Pride at noon and learn your local roots, then tune in at 1pm for Vancouver’s first ever Virtual Pride Parade produced by Daily Hive with creative entries from Vancouver organizations! Finally, beginning at 2pm, dance in your living room or at your socially distanced patio party with friends to the Sunset Beach Mainstage Show featuring upbeat musical performances. Pride can’t be cancelled—only re-imagined!

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

Public Disco Presents: kaleidoscope

August 1, 9-11:30pm *LIVE STREAMED* A 250 minute audio-visual presentation portraying the exploration of identity through art and imagination. The film follows drag artist Continental Breakfast on a journey of self discovery as they shed layers of societal pressures and cis-heteronormativity. An array of queer artists and performers contribute to the production through mediums such as dance, live music performance, digital art and visual storytelling.

Accessibility

Drag up!!

August 1, 7-8:30pm *LIVE STREAMED* We have teamed up with Tuck Entertainment to bring you Drag UP!! Watch your favourite local drag performers along with Canadian drag champion Ilona Verley and a second secret headliner to be announced.

3rd Annual Commercial Drag $5 Pride August 2, 8pm *LIVE STREAMED* Created in response to the class divide created by “pride tourism” when local

Funded by

producers and bars and clubs raise the price of admission while forgetting that the community they claim to serve and represent is vulnerable and often lack the financial stability of other communities.

Each year this show boasts up to 30 performers from all corners of the queer alphabet with a focus on keeping the price low and the value high.

Add your own event and view others on our website at vancouverpride.ca/ community-events-landing ●

recommended reading Reading list compiled by D. Ann Williams and Ashley Speed of Queer Consultants

Heather McCain, members of Chronically Queer in the 2019 Pride Parade.

Virtual Pride 2020

• Free • Streamed on multiple platforms • Closed Captioning on all videos • ASL confirmed for most events—see website/facebook for up to date confirmation • Live Description video of the Pride Art Walk by VocalEye

Moving Forward

In 2019, we worked with Creating Accessible Neighbourhoods (C.A.N.) to improve accessibility in our office, events and organization. Auditors from C.A.N. with lived experience conducted accessibility audits of our Re-Imagining Pride 2020

events. C.A.N. provided our team with Disability Justice training, consulted on event planning and created a training guide for our volunteers. We are using the audits of our events to advocate to the City of Vancouver for accessible public spaces. In early 2020, we hosted focus groups to learn how we can correct past wrongs and create more inclusive events going forward. We look forward to carrying this information forward and working with disabled members of our communities on co-creating inclusive events.

For more information on what we are doing visit: vancouverpride.ca/ about-us/accessibility/ 23

Stay True by erin kirsh

I kiss her in bars and never in bedrooms single stall bathroom double occupancy the angle of her jaw head tilted back smoke of resinous incense salt and cocaine

Gage Walker/Unsplash photo

I say we won’t do this again and she laughs into my mouth

Hungover Divination by erin kirsh I treat myself to a pot of peach oolong at a tea salon a block from the bar.

First customer of the morning, bedraggled

Amen

eyeliner vying for freedom along the tunnel routes of my fledgling wrinkles, hair all balloon static-cling. The artsy barista

I will wander forty years through the ocean. I will split the land and make demandments. I will break bread with the unacceptable. Bless the beer, amen. I will grow something crooked from these roots. From these roots I will grow something new. I have a foot in the Pacific and a hand in the air, amen. I have a book in my bag that I left on the shore, it is a collection of poems I bought on a Friday night that I read by lamplight and it was good.

I will master smoke rings and pool hall jargon, my shit kicking boots will come dancing with me, my glitter slicked sidekicks and all of our queer bullshit, amen.

We will sprout something slanted and skyward. From these feet we will grow something new.

I have flirted with in the past rightfully ignores me. I finish my tea to drive the taste of sleep, semen, and Creemore Springs

by erin kirsh

from my mouth before my morning shift.

The oolong gone, fine leaves climb the side of bone china, waltz in the dregs. From those clusters symbols come quickly. A man, arms raised in celebration pitching confetti rimward a fairy sparking magic spells, or maybe the curled leaves construct a butterfly that cliché for transformation. I consider that reading tea leaves is not unlike doing Rorschach tests. I picture gauzy shawled sepia psychics eyeballing clouds, diagnosing blemishes of character, sucking and spitting the fat from insight, presenting marvels to troubled townsfolk, offering confidence in the future. In the shop, a clock croons.

erIn kIrSH is a bisexual writer and performer. A Pushcart Prize nominee, her work has appeared in dozens of literary journals including The Malahat Review, Arc Poetry Magazine, EVENT, CV2, QWERTY, Geist, and more. Visit her on twitter @kirshwords.

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I press napkin to tongue, wipe my face of smoke kohl, green glitter, and last night.

I return my tea tray to the cute barista who doesn’t notice the celebrating man the fairy, or the butterfly. She rinses my future from the palm of the cup.

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

Proudly serving Vancouver’s GLBT Community for more than 20 years.

All genres welcome.

DAHL&CONNORS BARRISTERS & SOLICITORS

604.687.8752 dahlconnors.com

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25

SPONSORED CONTENT

reclaim your life with EHN’s LGBTQ+ focused recovery programs No two journeys to recovery are identical

S

ince 2014, Edgewood Health Network (EHN) Canada has helped thousands of people recover from addiction and related mental health issues. Whether a person is seeking to end dependence upon drugs, alcohol, gambling or sex, or striving to overcome depression and anxiety, an eating disorder or the effects of trauma, EHN’s programs offer a structure for reclaiming one’s life. “I hit bottom and knew I would probably die soon if I didn’t get help,” says one EHN alumnus. “I will be eternally grateful for what Edgewood has done for me. It is truly a house of miracles.”

Key to EHN’s success is that it tailors every program to an individual’s needs—because, in the network’s own words, “no two journeys to recovery are identical.”

With this in mind, EHN staff began paying greater attention to the specific needs of its patients from the LGBTQ+ community. Their life experiences 26

often are different. In many instances, so are the root causes of their addiction or mental health issues, as well as their fears about entering treatment. “They tend to have a lot of gender-related or sexuality-related issues, questions and concerns,” says Lauren Melzack, Deputy Clinical Director at Edgewood Treatment Centre in Nanaimo, a flagship facility in EHN Canada’s nationwide network of residential treatment centres and clinics. “We started doing some research to see what was available in Canada for that population, and there really wasn’t anything in terms of inpatient treatment. We decided this would be a perfect opportunity to start something.”

the LGBTQ+ community within the normal kind of treatment structure—it’s not a disservice, but it’s not paying attention to some core issues that heteronormative populations don’t deal with,” says Ryan Slobodian, a clinical counsellor at the Edgewood facility. “It doesn’t really deal with the minority stress or intersectionality.

I think providing a safe space to talk about these things is really important—especially in the context of addiction—because whenever you’re dealing with addiction, you’re rooting through some problematic emotions.

And we’ve seen in limited sessions that the amount of shame hiding within gender and sexual identity is incredibly important to deal with.”

And so, beginning July 20, EHN Canada is offering a spectrum of recovery programs at its Edgewood facility designed exclusively for the LGBTQ+ community.

“In the context of addiction, to loop

Melzack points out that LGBTQ+ patients at Edgewood will receive the same quality and diversity of care as all other patients; their treatment will simply be designed to recognize specific dynamics that may Re-Imagining Pride 2020

SPONSORED CONTENT

improve their chances of successful recovery. “Basically, they’re coming into our regular programming,” she says. “What’s different is we have groups and other structured activities specifically for that population, where we can address various issues: shame, internalized homophobia, which can add an extra layer of low self-worth. When someone is dealing with that sort of shame, of being terrified of coming out, whatever the consequences—you put that on top of someone already dealing with everything related to addiction and mental health disorders, and it’s just more severe.”

“The [LGBTQ+ community] has a twofold, sometimes threefold, risk of various mental health issues and addiction,” adds Slobodian. “So, what we wanted to do was create a separate space where they feel more comfortable talking about these issues. I know, even in the limited experience we’ve had with groups so far, there have been a lot of patients thanking us for creating a space where they feel comfortable unpacking this stuff, which wouldn’t be the case in regular groups. We’ve been able

to root through the shame and the negative core beliefs, and then turn that into empowerment, and promote affirming activities and behaviours.”

For program development, the EHN Canada team reached out to Dr. Shelley L. Craig, of the FactorInwentash Faculty of Social Work at the University of Toronto. Dr. Craig played a key role in designing Project AFFIRM, a session-based intervention program that aims to reduce depression and risky behaviours in LGBTQ+ youth and adults. EHN has been able to apply AFFIRM’s successful Cognitive Behavioural Therapy methods to EHN’s own inpatient programs. “There have been other studies showing that people going through treatment never even mention that they have any of these issues [related to sexual identity], because they’re too scared,” says Melzack. “So we want to, however we can, make all EHN facilities a safe place for them to start thinking about it, talking about it, and accessing services available to everybody—but with less fear.”

Perhaps most importantly, EHN programs serve to reduce the feelings of isolation that often accompany addiction and mental health disorders—especially among those

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

who may be simultaneously dealing with issues related to sexual identity.

“Of course we offer one-on-one counselling as part of our programs,” says Melzack, “but a lot of what we do is helping people get to a place where they feel connected to others, where they don’t feel like they’re the only one in the universe who’s going through this. The impact that peer support and connection can have on ongoing recovery—it’s an incredible thing.”

To find out more about Edgewood Health Network, visit edgewoodhealthnetwork.com/lgbtq

EDGEWOOD EHN CANADA

27

Pride, Parades

and Protests

by JL Lori

T

he sun is blazing down, and the layers of my huge rainbow bustle are heavy on my hips. But the music is blasting, and the crowd is screaming.

It’s Vancouver Pride, and I’m in the parade on a pirate ship! Six hundred thousand people cheer us on, shrieking and waving as our entry, Whatever Floats Your Boat—a massive colorful pirate ship crewed by 30 pirates armed with water guns­—sails by in a rainbow sea of love.

The first time I joined the parade was from the sidelines years ago, a spur of the moment decision to leap from the crowd and climb aboard my friends’ float as it rolled by. Standing on that float I was gobsmacked—the colossal horde of screaming people, the explosion of infinite camera flash bulbs in my face, the thousands and thousands of eyes watching our every move, the utter glory and spectacle of it all.

It’s not like viewing it from the street in the slightest, hollering for your favorite float or applauding the drag queen in her elaborate headdress and glittered hoopskirt. It’s a full-on spotlight, putting yourself out there for all to see, bright and beautiful.

On the float you’re trying to give it all away too, dancing your heart out for the crowd,

Eric Web photo

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spreading the message of love and inclusivity. A cheerleader bringing the party to the people. Celebrate good times, come on!

For baby, I was born this way!

You’ll sweat and dance and smile. You’ll find yourself online in a thousand photos later. And you’ll return year after year because you love it: the elation of the crowd, the personal expression, the experience of really being seen for the first time in your life. The sheer PRIDE in who you are, and how far you’ve come as a queer person in this world. How far we’ve come.

When you’re out there in the public there is no place to hide. That exposure is like a rainbow beacon shining into the darkness, bringing everything to light. There’s a profound political power in being seen, whether it be in parades or protests. Indeed, it’s one of the only ways systemic changes are ever really made. The Pride movement was built on taking it to the streets.

Today we see the enraged parades of the people, worldwide political protests rising up against systemic racism, police brutality, social inequality, economic

“There’s a profound political power in being seen.”

poverty. Societal unrest and shattered glass, fire in the streets and exploding fury has been our collective history from the suffragette protests to the labour riots, from the start of the civil rights movement to Stonewall. When people are unheard they take to the streets to march and burn things in desperate need; when they are happy they pour into the streets to parade and dance in merriment. Pride is both a party and a political protest, always has been, always will.

In the time before the Great Pause, we celebrated Pride around the world, millions and millions of LGBTQIA+ people and their allies waving our rainbow flags. In some places Pride has taken on a Mardi Gras festival feeling, while in others it is less party and more politics. Still in others it’s a complete act of defiance, punishable by law and even death. Here in Vancouver, we are blessed that our political stage exists in a setting of celebration: a chance to party and express ourselves, educate the next generation, and stand in solidarity with our queer siblings worldwide. It’s a privilege to celebrate our gayness when so many cannot express who they are at all.

Whatever Floats Your Boat is a corporate sponsorship free, lifestyle float comprised of like minded friends, embodying the entire spectrums of gender and sexual orientation, single people and polyamorous families, trans kids and their parents, and many supportive allies. For eight years we’ve been spreading our messages of radical self-expression, unconditional love, and inclusion. Participating in the parade is one of the highlights of my summer, and as my polyamourous partners’ nine-year-old child Molly said, “Dancing on the float was the best thing'' she did all year.

With Covid-19, what does Pride look like?

Despite the public health risks, people are still gathering unofficially, coming together in these new parades of uprisings and activism. Millions are risking their lives worldwide, demanding accountability and systemic changes. Our collective trauma Re-Imagining Pride 2020

as a nation is spilling out into the streets.

If you are fighting to breathe, how can you even begin to rejoice?

The focus at the moment needs to be on the Black Lives Matter movement and the fight to recognize and reduce systemic racism in all its many forms. To stand with the people putting themselves in the political spotlight today, as the needs of humanity emerges in full display on our streets. To express our solidarity for these important movements taking place, to join the fight for the essential changes that must be made. A sustained support not just over Pride month, but an enduring solidarity.

Power for the people, by the people.

This year the Captains of Whatever Floats Your Boat have made a video in solidarity with Black Lives Matter as part of the virtual parade being put on by Vancouver Pride.It features members of the float

whichever gods

are watching

by Kit Tempo We take the bobbypins from your hair and place them on the bedside table, unceremoniously making an offering, not of the bobbypins, but of the time and soft hands it took to untangle the tiny metal teeth from your curls, the smell of shampoo that isn’t yours drying out your hair, the smile I hid when I realized I’d never done this for another person before.

In this worship, I learned the closest thing to a god I know is making another person who is lost within themself come up for air and gasp their own chosen name.

Outside of this room, we wear titles like baggy band t-shirts, lesbian, genderqueer, gay, all just to the left of correct, labels we live until they wear off the tag; just because something doesn’t fit right doesn’t mean you can’t love it, and these clothes were the only way we knew to keep us concealed, but we have nothing to hide here.

Bare our bashfulness while I trace river routes onto your breathing atlas, trying to half-ass a hymn of your living-ness and re-learn a love torn from the arms of my ancestors; language leveled until we don’t know how to know ourselves.

But we know each other.

The seams of our skeletons may not align perfectly, but I see all the ways their bones hold them up.

I don’t need language to witness how they’ve built themself, anyways, what’s a prayer in my pocket worth when there’s so much of you in my hands?

We are scared and undefined; but we are here. In this room. For now, Re-Imagining Pride 2020

crew working to hoist the sails in support of the rights of all people. We know there will always be time for dancing. But now we stand in solidarity, with the hope that next year we’ll all be back sailing our boat in a rainbow sea of love. ●

JL Lori is a queer author who lives and writes in the beautiful unceded territory of the Squamish, Musqueam, and Tsleil-Wauthuth Nations. A former editor of PRISM international, she holds an MFA from UBC. Her work can be seen in Prairie Fire, The Tyee, Riddle Fence, and the Rebel Mountain Press LGBTQ anthology Breaking Boundaries. She received a 2020 National Magazine Awards Honourable Mention in Personal Journalism.

We crush compromise between our teeth, let this worship bite deep into each other’s lips, the plump swelling of it cushioning our complexity in precarious comfort.

Let the clothing conceal what it still needs to and leave the rest on the floor beside the bed, the space better used for our unveiling than for kneeling and asking a god for words that prove we exist enough to be tangible to anyone beyond each other.

And what’s a prayer in my pocket worth when my palm is at the base of your skull, pulling you in, and loving you like we have a word for it?

Like we belong everywhere and here in the end, the morning comes anyway.

The mattress is stiff, the bobbypins are still on the bedside table.

We are soft, and warm, and wordless.

The city sky is not quite awake, and neither are you.

We still have no names except those we gave ourselves, yours sits in my mouth, our first ritual of recognition.

You breathe. And I smile.

I don’t pray often, but I sang a small melody into the cavern made by your shoulder blade and I’m sure at least one god heard me. kit tempo is a biracial, nonbinary, lesbian poet who has spent their life as a settler on the unceded and stolen lands of the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm, Skwxwú7mesh, and səl̓ilwətaɁɬ peoples, colonially known as vancouver. kit’s work centres around gracious recovery, gay and nonbinary love and yearning, and complex relationships with their Black ancestry. also ghosts. they competed at the 2019 canadian festival of spoken word representing vancouver, and were a finalist at the Canadian Individual Poetry Slam 2020.

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Love Conquers All

by Chiara Fung

M

y name is Chiara Fung and I currently work at H Tasting Lounge located in the Westin Bayshore Hotel. Two years ago, I won the Stoli Key West Cocktail Classic and represented Vancouver in Key West. Pride Month means so much to me as it is a time to celebrate authenticity and inclusiveness without discrimination. It’s also a time to honour those who have fought for our rights we have today.

To celebrate Pride Month, I’ve partnered with the Vancouver Pride Society and Stoli Vodka to create a cocktail called “Love Conquers All.” With everything that’s been happening around the world, love is the solution and I wanted to use ingredients that showcase that. Symbolically, mangoes and rosemary represent love and happiness. That paired with Stoli Cucumber Vodka makes for a fantastic summer libation to celebrate all things Pride. ●

Love Conquers All • 1.25 oz Stoli Cucumber • 3 oz Mango Shrub (see recipe below) • 3 sprigs of rosemary, one for garnish • 1/2 oz Lime juice • 1/2 teaspoon saline solution • White Claw Mango • Ancho Chili salt rim • Garnish: cucumber ribbon and rosemary sprig.

Lightly muddle two rosemary sprigs in a shaker tin. Add Stoli Cucumber, mango shrub, lime juice and saline solution. Add ice and shake for 10 seconds.

Rim a tall Collins glass with Ancho Chili salt. Double strain Tip: A Collins glass is a ingredients into the Collins tall, glass tumbler used for glass, add ice and top with drinks like gin and tonics White Claw Mango. Garnish. or vodka and sodas. What For a free-spirited version is the difference between repeat the steps but without a Collins and a Highball?

Stoli Cucumber and top with The Collins is taller! soda water instead.

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Mango Shrub • 2 cups Mango pulp • 2 cups white sugar • 2 cups apple cider vinegar Add ingredients into a pot and bring to a boil. Remove from heat.

Bottle and refrigerate.

Did you know? Shrubs were originally made as a way to preserve fruit. The mixture of fruit and vinegar creates a syrup which can be combined with water to make a refreshing drink.

They are experiencing a resurgence in popularity with craft cocktail makers!

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

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31

“Having pride in that identity allowed me to write my own story about my gender.”

Finding Pride

by Casper Zurek

Hirano Tomoko photo

B

efore I ever knew what it was to be queer I knew that Pride was “a sin.”I knew homosexuality was a sin too—but at age 5 I would have been hardpressed to tell you what that word meant, or probably how to say it. Realistically, at age 5 I would have been hard-pressed to tell you anything at all.

My earliest memories of education mostly revolve around Sunday school. The bible was clear. The rules were specific.

As someone being perceived as a young girl in the church, the fact that I didn’t talk much meant I played my role well.

The rules at school were less clear.

No one made me wear a dress, but for some reason, people still seemed to think I was a girl. I needed to ask to go to the bathroom but no one ever gave me the opportunity to ask, so I peed my pants in my seat waiting for a time I could go without needing to initiate a conversation with an adult.

Both these places offered particular challenges to my acceptance.

“I was often at a loss to why they insisted on thinking I was a girl.”

I was navigating the school system as a child with undiagnosed neurodiversity that made it difficult for me to understand how to interact with my peers or be understood 32

by teachers. When I did create meaningful connections with my peers I was often left at a loss as to why they insisted on thinking I was a girl.

I was navigating the evangelical church as a child who was transgender, an identity that at the time, my local pastors didn’t even have enough language about to openly hate. This was further complicated by the fact that I did not have the social skill set to perform the most important component of their organizational model… evangelize.

Only one of these places offered what I so dearly craved. An explanation of the intricate set of rules other people were using to dictate their choices about social engagement, gender expression, and who they married. Because of this, I held great value in determining what in life was “a sin.” Often what the bible (or certain people’s interpretation of it) told me was a sin that corresponded with something my classmates didn’t like about me. I learned that my deviation from gender presentation, and my interests and unique ways of interacting with others was wrong—as was taking pride in these differences.

Eventually, after some intense self-reflection (and some intense therapy), I came to terms with the fact that the reason why the rules I was taught in Sunday school matched the world around me had more to do with the fact that the people

who colonized this land believed those rules, and less about the fact that they were right, or good, or helpful. I started to understand that although the rules I was taught felt like a helpful framework as a young child who craved structure, they were impossible standards to meet for me, or for anyone who deviated outside the norm of white, able-bodied, neurotypical, cisgender, heterosexual men.

At 20 years old I thought I had finished my unpacking. I came out as transgender, I started dating people I was attracted to rather than people I thought society would approve of, and I stopped pretending to be nauseous or have a headache when I was actually overstimulated or exhausted from socialization.

Even though I was no longer hiding these parts of myself, I still had deep shame about them. I did everything I could to “pass” in society as a man—and while some things I did alleviated the gender dysphoria I was experiencing, I also engaged in some deep unhealthiness around what it meant to be a man, and what I needed to do to be a “real one.” I allowed more of my true interests to shine when in small groups of people, but still pretended to enjoy spending time in packed night clubs past the point of overstimulation so my friends wouldn’t learn what I truly believed about myself—that because my capacity was different than others I wasn’t a “fun” or worthwhile person to be around.

I supported the movement and concept of Pride, but made every excuse not to show up to Pride events. When I did attend Pride events I was in and out quickly.

It wasn’t until I started showing up to Pride events and staying that I started to hear why people felt this way. As I started to build relationships with other queer people I learned that embracing queer identities in a positive way wasn’t foolish.

Accepting my identity as a trans person allowed me to transition, and continue to hate all the things that made me fall Re-Imagining Pride 2020

outside of a restrictive gender box- it just happened to be a new one. Having pride in that identity allowed me to write my own story about my gender, one that allowed me to wear things that made me feel comfortable and confident, instead of things that made me conform. It helped me decide which behaviours were right for me, not base them on the “rules” I overheard the boys around me being told as a child.

I am someone who is lucky enough to say that many of the same people who taught me these things about queerness taught me these things about ability, capacity, and neurodiversity. Accepting certain ways that my brain worked helped me stop trying to force myself to be exactly like my peers. Taking pride in those differences helped me ask for what I needed—because I believed that even if sometimes I asked to go home from the club early, I brought things to friendships and relationships that others didn’t, and my needs were worthy of being met.

I still wrestle with shame every day. But now I know that Pride isn’t a dirty word or “a sin.” It’s a concept and movement that has helped generations of people see examples of people who are living into exactly who they are, and genuinely love things about themselves that are still hated by many people in the world. ●

CASPer zuzek is a white settler living and working on the unceded territories of the Musqueam, Squamish and Tsleil-Waututh. Casper came out as a transgender man in 2017, facilitates a monthly community group for LGBTQ2+ people of faith, and acts as doting Dad to two lovable cats.

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

recommended reading Reading list compiled by D. Ann Williams and Ashley Speed of Queer Consultants

ASHley SPeeD (she/her) is a queer, non-monogamous, Jewish preschool teacher and educator of adults. She is the co-founder of Queer Consultants, and her consulting focus is queer inclusion and representation in schools and classrooms. In addition to consulting, she founded Diamond Montessori, an educational material company.

Find her @ashspeedteaches on IG.

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Being, Becoming, and Belonging: QueerCrip Mycologies

by Q

K

eeping our people alive is everything. It is the reason for survival; the reason to seek challenge and peace; the reason to be and become. Our people are our belonging. They’re who we make a home for, who we’re wearing masks for, who we’re isolating, disrupting, and rioting for. Our people are the ones who raise us, whenever that raising happens.

My people are the freaks raising new generations of queers and cripples from the ground up. The two are not so different—we each come from ancestors forcibly institutionalized, lineages intentionally shattered so we never learn about our inheritances of organizing and disrupting.

This is not dissimilar to many oppressed communities. Black and Indigenous people have been and continue to be pathologized to maintain white people’s control.

The state uses institutional ableism against non-disabled minorities to legitimize its violence. A paramount element of oppression is disconnection; the state knows cultural genocide is genocide.

Bridging the chasms state violence leaves in more than just ourselves is necessary for any kind of meaningful action.

Disability justice is the movement that begins when we write that into the bones of our frameworks. What kind of freedom doesn’t involve prison abolition, or neglects fat liberation? None that I want.

At its inception, Patty Berne noted that the term disability justice “marks a point of departure rather than a destination.” It was birthed by queer women of colour with the intention to change and grow, making it what every anti-oppressive framework needs. It’s this framework that I try to apply to everything I engage in because its premise begins to answer the question,

how do we organize amidst crisis and chaos?

It’s not a simple task. Inaccessibility is present at the most peaceful of times and must always be critically examined for our actions to have the breadth people need and deserve. When you put constraints upon that work, it is even more important to continue. What does it mean to be on the ground as we navigate the dual pandemic of both illness and the state violence and suppression all colonial nations are founded upon? My late friend Marie Lewis says, it means we dig deep; we find the place in ourselves that is burning love and hold that flame to everything. Organizing under pressure requires anticipatory labour. It means asking questions, holding out for answers, going in for the long haul with big hope and no expectations on the outcome. The first step in any movement is knowing what questions need asking.

The question I find myself answering time and again, no matter the organizer or movement, is what access is; more interesting to me is what access could be. Access, defined as “a way or means of approaching or entering,” is the beginning of our ability to show up, and then to continue to remain present. Many reduce this to a set of parameters that takes us from outsiders to sitting at the table. This can be valuable and important work, and it’s work I’ve done, but access is more than a spreadsheet. In both direct action in the streets and organizing from a hospital bed, access needs first and last to be a commitment of honesty and presence. Carmen Papalia’s manifesto, Open Access, brings a more dynamic lens than a checklist—one that can easily be applied to radical organizing efforts. At its core, Open Access maintains that we

“It means we dig deep. We spread out. We spread ourselves thin. We find the place in ourselves that is burning love and we hold that flame to everything.”

34

can experience the same exhibit, action, or event a myriad of ways and come away with as many conclusions—and that those conclusions are each valuable, not to be fixed by applying oppressive ideas of expectation or normalcy.

As we disrupt the state within our communities, we must be ever-mindful not to replicate its ideals and hierarchies. It is not enough to put minorities on the face of our work but ignore the need for decentralized, mutual acts of radical inclusion that celebrate each bodymind. Access need not be something we do for someone else—we don’t need to “take it on” like some begrudged labour. We can trust one another to name our needs, just as we can trust one another to prioritize them every crooked, fabulous step of the way.

In this way we move away from leadership and following, into radical concepts of mutual aid. ●

Q is a white queercrip dykefag poetperformer-educator living on Sto:lo and Ts’elxwéyeqw territory. A high school dropout, it has opened for The Body Is Not An Apology in 2017; successfully crowd-funded its own imminent cremation and deathday party; and managed to not die five (5) years after it was given a six-month prognosis.

Q is quite content with its current functional immortality and cryptid status in and amongst both medical and artistic fields, passing quarantine crocheting black doilies and writing poetry under fig trees.

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

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35

The First Step

by Jade Weekes

J

oel closed his locker slowly, ending another week. He glanced over at a group of girls loudly talking about the mall and planning their weekend. His mind started drifting, imaging what it would be like to be with a group of friends, taking selfies, trying on outfits, hitting up the food court while wearing a cute new skirt.

Joel shook his head and looked around as if someone was able to hear his thoughts. He grabbed his backpack and started making his way to the bus stop where he saw another group.

They were talking about renting movies and playing video games all weekend, listening to some band he’s never heard of before.

Joel closed his eyes and imagined laying in a beanbag chair, eating pizza, laughing at old horror movies, and wearing new black eyeliner as his friends dyed his hair bright pink. Shaking his head again, Joel said ‘I don’t know what I'm thinking,’ to himself as he boarded the bus home.

Once home, Joel threw his backpack onto his bed and sat down in front of his computer and began browsing through the Transgender forums he was a part of. So many stories of people being brave, announcing to the world or their parents that they were proud to be Transgender. However, Joel noticed there were also so many stories of people being rejected, hurt, and alone because of who they are.

Joel leaned back and sighed. Was he really transgender? Joel sat up, and began typing “Transgender” into the google search bar.

“Transgender people have a gender identity or gender expression that differs from their sex assigned at birth.”

Joel walked over to his mirror and looked at himself. He’d always felt out of place, never boyish enough to fit in with the rest of the lads at his school. But he was always too scared to go talk to girls, because what if they found him weird? What if he came out and everyone stopped being his friend because they would begin to see him differently?

Joel looked back into the mirror and imagined a new pleated skirt, with a cute blouse and sandals. Ready for summer! He gave a twirl in the mirror, imagining the skirt twirling with him.

Or would he be a rocker chick? He imagined black leather leggings and a rock band shirt that’s been cut into a crop top, rocking it with a pair of red-heeled pumps. He swished his hair around as if headbanging to some heavy metal band with his imaginary pink hair.

Joel just wished he could find people to talk to, that knew about this stuff. He thought of his parents. They would be supportive, but they wouldn’t have the answers to anything, just more questions. No one else in school had come out as transgender, and he didn’t know how his friends would react.

Joel stared back at his computer screen. He couldn’t keep hiding. It was getting harder to shove all of his feelings down inside.

It felt suffocating not being able to just wear what he wanted, to act how he wanted, to just be… herself.

Suddenly, Joel saw a brand new post that someone had just written.

36

The Gender Spectrum Collection photo

“Hello, It’s my first time writing a post but I’m new and trying to learn more about what it means to be transgender, any advice would be amazing!”

Joel blinked in disbelief, It was almost as if her thoughts had burst from her brain and created their own post! Joel’s hands hovered over the keyboard, and without thinking, wrote “Hey! I'm new too and I think I am …” Joel stopped typing. She took a deep breath. “… Transgender.” Her throat tightened. This was the first time she had ever actually typed it. Her pinky hovered over the enter key. A thousand thoughts were swirling through her mind. What if someone from his school saw his post somehow? What if people didn’t believe him? What if...”

Joel took a deep breath and thought about feeling out of place, not feeling comfortable in her skin, wanting to be something different. Yearning to be real and honest with the world.

Joel hit enter.

She sat there for what seemed like an eternity, staring at the screen. She couldn’t believe she typed it and posted it! Out there—on the internet!

Her heart froze as she saw three dots appear under her comment… someone was writing back!

Tears welled in her eyes as she read the new comment.

“It's great to meet you! I thought I was alone, hopefully, we can find the answers together!”

Jolene never felt alone again. ●

JADe WeekeS is a proud Peruvian Transwoman. She is a multiinstrumentalist, published award winning photographer and runs Support The Scene.

She is also the bassist in the LGBTQ female-fronted band Fallen Stars.

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

P rou d sp o n so rs of Va nco u ver P ri d e 2 0 2 0

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

HUMANITY. IT TAKES ALL KINDS. Lyft is proud to be the the first rideshare app in Canada to offer a range of optional pronouns #TwoIsTooFew

37

Making Ourselves Up

As We Go Along

by Spilious Aren’t we all making ourselves up as we go along?

Aren’t we always beginning, or ending, or becoming?

I know the teens I see at school every day are Faces decorated with deep insecurity & vulnerability Just like mine I’m always becoming Always unsure of the next step I figure myself out as a trans woman While society figures out how to deal with me Born but not realized Nowhere near self-actualized But is anyone?

Shouldn’t there always be something else?

Something we need to move towards But how do we get there?

Perhaps we start subtly like Sesame Street By making the first Muppets on the pilot episode Bert & Ernie July 1969 A few weeks after Stonewall Decades before Ellen, or Will & Grace But they were never in your face Never getting in anyone’s way We just knew they were gay Like we knew we were Trans Long before it was safe to be ourselves So we hid for so long Never able to live openly Without folks thinking we Were shoving it their face We’re learning to take up space Without seeming out of place But we were And we are And maybe we always will be We’re starting to feel comfortable with visibility But this brings with it vulnerability And our lives are still a series of improvisations We’re still making ourselves up on the spot Running from what needs to be forgot From those early attempts at becoming All dressed up and nowhere to go No road maps or role models for us to follow Cause so few of us actually get old Most die young Before becoming has begun I once finished a feature set in Spokane And the teenage trans fans there said Please don’t take this the wrong way But it’s great to see someone like us, who’s old I guess they needed some idea where to go A possibility from which to grow 38

But I’m never sure I’ve gotten any of this right And try as I might Mirrors still betray me Maybe the only reason I survived Was I knew I needed to hide But they aren’t, & that’s good But it’s hard Who’s gonna take us all home Where the queer folks roam We’re not buffaloes More like unicorns Who oscillate between Existence & imagination Safety & isolation Fear & celebration A purposeful improvisation Our bodies are a work in progress We’re always making ourselves up as we go along And it’s true We should have been gone from the shadows years ago To where the trans folks roam But to be honest We’re not even looking for that place anymore We’re reimagining this one Our becoming has begun The binary is behind me Cisnormativity no longer confines me Our identities are slowly normalizing Possibilities multiplying Societies spaces we’re occupying There’s no denying the world is changing But don’t get me wrong we’re still scared Just not like before We’re opening rainbow doors And finding words that work That truly feel & sound like us I no longer have to be mom or dad I get to be Madda And a wife And I get to live my life Finally Mostly My daughters smile is home Outside of that I’ll always be Making myself up as I go along

Spillious is a Trans feminine settler educator, parent, musician and spoken word artist of Ukrainian and Irish descent. They won the 2017 Grand Slam Championship of the Vancouver Poetry slam and in 2018 they finished 6th at the Canadian Individual Poetry Slam Championships. They have 3 self-published poetry books and a new one set to be released sometime this year.

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

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39

HAPPY PRIDE! Stephanie Cadieux Surrey South

Joan Isaacs

Michael Lee Vancouver-Langara

Mary Polak Langley

Tracy Redies Surrey-White Rock

Todd Stone

Jordan Sturdy

Jane Thornthwaite

Coquitlam-Burke Mountain

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Andrew Wilkinson

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West Vancouver-Sea to Sky

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North Vancouver-Seymour

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2020

July 16 -- 26

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The Vancouver Elementary School Teachers’ Association, representing elementary teachers and adult educators in Vancouver, is proud to advocate for transgender, lesbian, gay, biseual, two-spirit, intersex, queer and questioning teachers and students in our public schools.

Vancouver Elementary School Teachers’ Association • 2915 Commercial Drive, Vancouver, BC • 604-873-8378 • vesta.ca Re-Imagining Pride 2020

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Thanks to our 2020 sponsors PreSenTInG PArTner

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The Vancouver Pride Society thanks all of our 2020 Community Partners for the important service they provide year-round to our communities.

Asexual Outreach

JQT

Rainbow Refugee

BC Center For Disease Control

Last Door Recovery Centre For Men

Raincity Ultimate Club

The Vancouver Dyke March and Festival

MangoSweet

Saige Community Food Bank

Out On Screen

Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence

FlyGirl

Out On The Shelves

Squamish Nation Pride Council

Forbidden Vancouver

PFLAG

Start Proud

Greater Vancouver Native Cultural Society

Positive Living BC Qmunity

Vancouver Communities in Solidarity with Cuba

Health Initiative for Men (HIM)

Queer Arts Festival

Velveteen Vintage

If your organization is interested in becoming a Vancouver Pride Community Partner, please reach out to Serene Carter at scarter@vancouverpride.ca

Volunteer Thank you In 2019, 294 dedicated volunteers contributed over 2,584 volunteer hours to ensure we could celebrate! From photographers to office assistants, from events set up to the green team- we could not produce Pride events without our volunteers! This year looks a little different however just because you won’t see our volunteers out in public doesn’t mean they aren’t working behind the scenes! We appreciate all the volunteers who are helping us continue through this challenging year.

Thank you to all of our past volunteers, returning volunteers, and volunteers-to-be! Your enthusiasm, hard work and expertise is appreciated by the entire Vancouver Pride Society and the communities we serve!

To volunteer, please contact volunteercoordinator@vancouverpride.ca!

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Re-Imagining Pride 2020

Happy Pride from all our Aarm Dentists & Staff...

Aarm on Beach Aarm on Beatty Aarm at BC Place Aarm on Cambie Aarm at Coal Harbour Aarm on Denman Aarm on Hornby Aarm on Main Aarm on Seymour Aarm in Yaletown

112-1000 Beach Ave. 529 Beatty St. 919 Expo Blvd.

2180 Cambie St. 1560 Coal Harbour Quay 917 Denman St. 1270 Hornby St. 2270 Main St. 993 Seymour St. 1156 Pacific Blvd.

604-683-5530 604-699-1901 604-689-0965 604-684-0224 604-688-2354 604-647-0006 604-681-8530 604-255-0060 604-688-7607 604-629-0386

# S TAY S A F E

STOP COVID # S TO P C OV I D

We are open to serve all your dental concerns...

Your safety is our #1 priority.

We have you covered!

Re-Imagining Pride 2020

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We can’t be together right now,

but we are always

Forever

Proud.

Through the TD Ready Commitment, TD is supporting LGBTQ2+ initiatives across North America to help everyone feel more included and connected during Pride, and all year long.

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Re-Imagining Pride 2020