But You Don’t Look Sick

Recently, there has been a lot of dialogue about the importance of diversity and awareness in our world today. There are many different types of diversity, obviously, just as there are many types of people on this earth. However, one type that you may not consider very often is health diversity. Many people around the world, and even here at Penn State, deal with various health issues that affect their day-to-day college experience, whether or not others notice. Many people have illnesses that cannot be seen from the outside. This creates a unique experience, one at the intersection of someone who struggles with their health but is perceived as “normal” by the rest of the world.

In order to bring more awareness to Penn State, VALLEY interviewed three young women who attend Penn State while simultaneously managing one or more invisible illnesses during college. College is a stressful enough time of transition for any student, especially when health flare-ups make it difficult to attend class or to hang out with friends.

Lauren Mathews, a junior in nutrition, was diagnosed with postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) when she was 12 years old. POTS is a condition that affects the autonomic nervous system, causing increased heart rate and low blood pressure. This combination occasionally causes her to pass out when her blood pressure gets exceptionally low. When asked how POTS affects her college career, Mathews responds that while her POTS is much better, “I still have bad days. There are some semesters in which I miss 3 to 4 days of class and I fall behind. Thankfully, I have accommodations through Penn State and I am able to catch up with extensions.” She says that even social situations can be difficult because she gets tired easily, which can make it difficult to keep up with others and sometimes leaves her feeling left out. Mathews chose nutrition as her major after she went vegan and it helped her with her energy levels. This piqued her interest in the effect food has on our health, with her career goal being to become a dietician. Invisible illness is typically very misunderstood because it cannot be seen. Due to this, people will often make ignorant or unintentionally backhanded comments towards people who struggle with these illnesses. For Mathews, the most annoying of these include “but you don’t look sick” or “you are too young to be sick”.

“Just because I don’t look sick doesn’t mean I am not sick. Similarly, just because I’m young doesn’t mean that I’m healthy,” Mathews says. She wants to bring awareness to invisible illness, offering advice to those who do not have a similar condition:

“I want people to understand that invisible illness is more common than you would think and to believe people who say they have an invisible illness,” says Mathews. “Just because someone who seems ‘healthy’ parks in a disabled parking spot, does not mean that they are a fraud abusing that parking space, understand that some people appear healthy on the outside but have problems such as breathing, or walking far distances. Never tell someone that their feelings, symptoms or illness are not valid because that is not a choice for you to make, be supportive even if you can’t see their struggle.”

Alexis McKinley is a psychology major who is interested in why humans think the way they do. She was diagnosed with chronic hemiplegic migraines in 2014 and lupus in 2020. Hemiplegic migraines are migraines that are accompanied by weakness on one side of the body. Lupus is a systemic autoimmune disease that occurs when an individual’s immune system attacks their own body. These conditions have greatly affected her college experience due to the fact that she had to medically withdraw both semesters of her freshman year, and to then take her sophomore year off. This had a negative impact on her mental health, sending her into a depression which she then sought help for. “There have been more times than I can count where I’ve had to miss out on parties and events because of my health,” McKinley says. “It definitely sucks. It prevented me from joining a sorority because I knew I couldn’t keep up with the other girls and their expectations.”

For McKinley, the most bothersome thing people say to her is “you might grow out of this.” “Unfortunately, no, I won’t,” McKinley says. “Chronic illness is usually a forever thing. I’ve learned how to cope and manage my symptoms.”

“People with chronic illnesses and invisible illnesses really need someone in their corner to support them,” McKinley says. “It’s so important to support and love the people in your life who are ill in any way possible. They’ll appreciate it more than you know … Please be an advocate for your friends with invisible illnesses! It’s one of the best and most meaningful things you can do for them.”

Sophie Klingmeyer, a junior double majoring in rehabilitation and human services and psychology, is closely connected to her majors based on her personal experiences.

“I am passionate about helping people recover from mental health issues and drug addictions,” Klingmeyer says. “I have struggled with mental health issues my whole life, and I don’t want people to struggle the way I did.”

Klingmeyer suffers from Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome (MRKH), chronic pain, asthma and liver issues. MRKH is a disorder that causes her to not have a uterus. She was diagnosed with the disorder when she was just one year old, started suffering from chronic pain at 14 and was diagnosed with liver issues at 20 years old.

“It makes it hard to go to class or socialize,” Klingmeyer says. “Walking around campus can trigger my pain. Also, getting homework completed can be difficult if I have a flare up.” It affects her social life equally, as people don’t understand the pain that she experiences which, she explains, “makes it hard to create connections, interact with others and do daily activities.” Despite this, she describes herself as an outgoing person who loves meeting new people.

Klingmeyer hates when people make comments to her like “you don’t look like you’re in pain” or “you’re in pain again? What’s new?”

“I love when people ask me questions about my illnesses!” Klingmeyer says. “Informing people about my illnesses makes sure that there is no false information being conveyed. Also, that even though my illness may not seem like it’s affecting me, it encompasses almost everything I do.”

It’s important to keep your own perspective in check before commenting on other’s experiences in any situation. When someone is opening up to you about their illness, it’s important to listen to what they have to say and to support them as best you can. Invisible illnesses are more common than you would expect, so don’t assume you know what someone is going through without getting to know them.