Issue 15 - Volume 135

CYNIC Dec. 11, 2018

sex

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THE VERMONT

vtcynic.com

ISSUE

INSIDE: Student porn habits | 2 Hookup culture | 5 What to do when you’re sexiled | 7 Photo Illustration by ALEK FLEURY

NEWS

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The Vermont Cynic

Dec. 11, 2018

UVM Unbuttoned Sawyer Loftus swloftus@uvm.edu

The Cynic conducted a survey of the UVM student population to get a read on porn habits and masturbation within the UVM community.

With nearly 200 respondents, identifying as first-years, sophomores, juniors or seniors, the majority — 78.6 percent — of respondents said they do watch porn.

Of the respondents, 91.7 percent said that they masturbate.

Within the group that said they masturbate, more woman-identifying individuals said that they do not watch porn while masturbating than any other group.

Tell us about a time you watched porn in your dorm.

“

Do you watch porn?

21.5%

I was watching “Keeping up with the Kardashians” and Kris Jenner was yelling at Kim. I’ve got a thing for dominant women and she really had me going. I knew my roommate wasn’t coming back for a little while so I did a quick Google for some Kris Jenner look-alike porn, and lo and behold, other people feel the same way I do.

- Sophomore, Male, He/him

Yes

78.5%

No

“

Once room checks were going on and I was so stressed about hiding my weed that I decided to self-shaft to calm down.

However, I totally forgot about room checks. And I ended up climaxing to the sight of my resident adviser walking in the door.

- First-Year, Male, He/Him

“

Whenever I’m feeling stressed I flick the clit to release dopamine and calm me down. I usually put on a racy show like “The Tudors” or “The Borgias,” but sometimes I watch “The Office” when doing it because I am trash.

- Senior, Female, She/Her

Do you masturbate?

Yes

91.7%

“

No

Usually I just scroll through Tumblr. Mostly it’s just sexual images or stories/words that get me horny or in the mood. I’m not sure what I’ll do after Tumblr deletes adult content, though. [...] The Tumblr adult content deletion will probably lead me to watch more intense stuff that I’m honestly a lot less interested in.

- Sophomore, female, she/her

XXX

Student campaign inspires state senator to champion assault law Sawyer Loftus swloftus@uvm.edu

Legislation that would force UVM and other universities to disclose if a student was dismissed for sexual misconduct will soon be proposed in the Vermont Statehouse.

Philip Baruth, a UVM English professor and the chair of the Vermont Senate Education Committee, said that he will be championing that legislation in January 2019.

Baruth will work with sophomore Syd Ovitt, who started a nationwide campaign that would force colleges to indicate if a student was dismissed for sexual misconduct, he said.

Ovitt said that she is excited to work with Baruth to draft the legislation that she has been working toward in her campaign.

“I think it’s incredible when you finally get to see some-

DAVID MATTHEWS/The Vermont Cynic

Sophomore Syd Ovitt speaks Dec. 9 at an Explain The Asterisk event. The movement gained support from Philip Baruth, a UVM English professor and the chair of the Vermont Senate Education Committee, who said that he will be proposing policy in January. thing you’ve poured your heart and soul into accepted into action,” Ovitt said. “I’m grateful for everyone that has helped me along the way, and I’m ready to get to work.”

Baruth said that he first

heard about Ovitt’s campaign in a debate with other legislators in November.

The number of sexual assaults on UVM’s campus struck him, because it reflects a larger, nationwide problem, he said.

Baruth will be working with other legislators to create a bill that addresses concerns over student privacy and federal privacy laws, while making sure those found responsible don’t get to transfer to another university just to assault again, he said.

Baruth said that he expects the bill will have support and is a good first step toward addressing campus sexual assault across the country.

In November 2017 Ovitt was raped, but didn’t report it until early 2018, she said.

Ovitt started a petition in March after she reported her sexual assault to UVM to make sure what happened to her wouldn’t happen to anyone else, she said.

In June 2018, the man Ovitt said raped her was found not responsible by Title IX investigators, she said.

Since March, Ovitt’s peti-

tion has received 49,732 signatures and support from other Vermont legislators such as Rep. Peter Welch.

“What Sydney’s talking about really makes sense,” Welch said. “I so appreciated her advocacy … and her acting so energetically to keep people from future harm.”

In a Dec. 6 Facebook post, Welch stated that he will be introducing federal legislation with Californian Rep. Jackie Speier in the new Congress.

Currently UVM does not have a practice that indicates if a student has been dismissed for sexual misconduct, UVM Communications Director Enrique Corredera said.

The University does indicate on transcripts if a student is dismissed for academic dishonesty or academic performance, according to the Code of Academic Integrity.

The Vermont Cynic

Dec. 11, 2018

NEWS

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Penis drawings lead to bias incidents Julianne Lesch jlesch@uvm.edu

Penis drawings on whiteboards in residence hall common rooms have caused commotion among residents throughout the years.

These drawings are considered bias incidents and have resulted in calls to UVM police services by resident advisers as procedure.

“A bias incident is anything that could be bothering or triggering to someone because of their background and how they identify,” resident adviser Garrett Faucher, a sophomore, said.

Penis drawings have been a problem for UVM police in the past, said Lianne Tuomey, chief of UVM police services. Tuomey has been with UVM police services since 2000.

UVM police is called after a penis drawing is found on a whiteboard, though they have rarely been involved in penis drawing-related incidents after a spike in incidents that occured in 2004.

These incidents are now dealt with on a more case-bycase basis within the residence hall, Tuomey said.

“Context is everything,” she said.

These drawings aren’t always reported to the police as bias incidents, Tuomey said.

“It might come in as a graffiti incident, it might come in as someone feeling uncomfort-

Photo Illustration by REBECCA PORETSKY

Penis drawings on whiteboards are considered bias incidents that could be reported to UVM police services by resident advisers. Resident advisers have been trained to document these drawings by taking pictures of them and writing a report. able or some sort of harassment complaint," Tuomey said.

"There is a whole host of ways that these things can come to our attention.”

Bias incidents include actions that are protected by the First Amendment, according to the 2017 UVM Annual Security Report.

These types of incidents are broken down into two catego-

ries: targeted and non-targeted, resident adviser Alex Creighton, a junior, said.

“Targeted is when there is a symbol, words or a phrase used that would be attacking someone for a number of things, like their sexual orientation or religion.

“Non-targeted is an offensive symbol that might just be put on as a joke, not with the

intent of having a meaning to a specific person,” Creighton said.

Resident advisers have been trained to document penis drawings by taking pictures and writing a report, Creighton said.

The drawings are erased and the resident advisers talk with their residents to discuss how they were affected.

A floor meeting is then held to discuss the floor expectations, Creighton said.

First-year Josh Arvin said that he doesn’t see a problem with the drawings.

“People see these drawings as a joke. They usually don’t get offended by them,” Arvin said.

First-year Nicole Evans said that penis drawings are done out of immaturity.

Not as stressful as 'the talk:' Living Well office hours Sophia Venturo sventuro@uvm.edu

At sex education office hours, students line up to discuss pleasure, pain and emotional intimacy.

On Thursday afternoons in the Living Well office, sexuality expert Jenna Emerson holds personalized walk-in sex-ed lessons.

The idea to hold office hours came to her last spring when she noticed a high demand for one-on-one meetings to discuss students’ love and sex lives, Emerson said.

This semester, Emerson decided to hold regular hours for these conversations.

“My original thought around it was that it would be people asking me things that they might look up on Google,” Emerson said. “But you’re not going to get an hour sit-down with Google.”

From 2:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m., students visit Emerson each week to discuss anything from squirting and masturbation to refining Tinder profiles or professing love, she said.

“A lot of people come here to tell me things they have never told anyone,” Emerson said.

“What we’re talking about in

the office hours are things that are not as talked about in media or in friend groups, where the focus tends to be on the good, the happy and the orgasms.”

Emerson estimates a 1-to3 ratio between male and female students visiting her office hours, she said.

For cisgender women, Emerson notices patterns of pain during sex and anxiety about first times.

“No foreplay, no lube,” she said. “Just penis in vagina and ‘Oh my God, this hurts.’”

A common theme among men in the office hours is working through feelings when sex is not ideal or living up to expectations, Emerson said.

“It’s hard to tell your partner that you’re not satisfied with the sex in your relationship because it’s not like porn,” she said.

Sophomore Will Omohundro is open to learning more about sex, but assumes that he would not be able to relate to Emerson as much as a female student could, he said.

“From my perspective, it is more difficult as a male identifying individual at UVM to start a dialogue about sex without being perceived as uninformed,” Omohundro said.

TORI SCALA/The Vermont Cynic

On Thursday afternoons in the Living Well office, sexuality expert Jenna Emerson holds personalized walk-in sex-ed lessons where students can discuss anything from squirting and masturbation to refining Tinder profiles or professing love. Emerson started these office hours last spring when she noticed a high demand for one-on-one meetings to discuss students’ love and sex lives.

Across campus, one thing Emerson has noticed is fear of intimacy.

When young people get to college, the idea of sex as the most intimate thing you can do with another person changes, and emotional vulnerability becomes the bigger risk, she said.

“It’s a lot of ‘You’re saying you like me? That’s too much.

I’ll give you a handjob and we

can be friends, but I don’t know about going out to dinner and talking about our feelings,’” Emerson said.

Some students worry about trusting an unfamiliar person enough to visit the office hours.

“I don’t know if I could just go up to a stranger and ask them to help me with an intimacy issue,” first-year Eliza Fehrs said.

For those who do choose to

utilize her office hours, Emerson continues to work toward improving their sexual and emotional health, she said.

“I think we really get somewhere and people really appreciate it and learn a lot,” she said.

Living Well's office is located on the first floor of the Davis Center.

OPINION

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Operations Manager Sorrel Galantowicz operations@vtcynic.com

EDITORIAL Copy Chief Sophia Knappertz copy@vtcynic.com Culture Bridget Higdon cynicculture@gmail.com Features Caroline Slack cynicfeatures@gmail.com News George Seibold news@vtcynic.com Opinion Mills Sparkman opinion@vtcynic.com

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ADVISING Faculty Adviser Chris Evans crevans@uvm.edu

for repeated sexual assault and using his position of power to force himself on women.

Rose McGowan, Nicole Kidman and Gwyneth Paltrow, all of whom accused Weinsten of sexual assault, all know what it’s like to have “a hell of a year.”

A few months ago, Louis C.K. performed unannounced at a comedy club in New York.

He is now publicly dating a French actress who says he did nothing wrong by masturbating in front of women without

Staff editorials officially reflect the views of the Vermont Cynic.

Signed opinion pieces and columns do not necessarily do so.

The Cynic accepts letters in response to anything you see printed as well as any issues of interest in the community. Please limit letters to 350 words. The Cynic reserves the right to edit letters for length and grammar.

Please send letters to opinion@ vtcynic.com.

Ending the stigma of female masturbation

Podcasts Chloe Chaobal Kim Henry vtcynicpodcasts@gmail.com Sports Sabrina Hood sports@vtcynic.com

the other.

The problem is, all these men claim, and probably believe, they are doing the right thing.

Furthermore, as long as perpetrators are the ones making the rules, nothing will change because their versions of events are fundamentally different from the experiences of survivors.

Harvey Weinstein went public Dec. 3 with an email saying he’s had “a hell of a year” after being put on trial

Gabby Lescadre glescadr@uvm. edu

M

asturbation: in our culture, it’s often seen as the “she-whomust-not-be-named” of all actions.

At the drop of the “M-bomb,” you may experience an array of reactions: wonderful, gross, desperate, pleasurable, shameful. It might even make your shoulders tight and your face hot.

Regardless of your reaction, society has kept the conversation silent, especially for women.

According to the 2018 Tenga Global Self Pleasure Report, 76 percent of American women have masturbated, but it’s still culturally written off as just a “guy thing.”

Despite this statistic, the act of masturbation is unbelievably taboo, and in the midst of a period of widespread sexual liberation, there is still a stigma attached to what happens between a woman and herself.

A 2010 University of California study concluded that according to traditional gender-based sexual roles, sexual passivity is normalized for women and sexual agency is for men.

Conforming to these gender roles directly decreases sexual satisfaction for women, but does the opposite for males.

Labeling masturbation as a

“guy thing” suggests that only boys are in pursuit of pleasure and that women could do with or without it.

The dirty connotation of female masturbation has made it perverted for male pleasure in pornography and in pop culture, leading women to feel shameful or selfish.

This is directly playing into the stereotype that a woman’s sexuality should be repressed until it’s somehow ignited by a man.

Meanwhile, in the real world women are owning it all damn day.

According to a 2015 Pennsylvania State University research study, women are more communicative on all sexual topics, except for masturbation, which men were generally far more open about.

It’s true, masturbation is a private thing, and no, it’s probably not the best casual conversation starter.

But it’s definitely worth recognizing that for both women and men, it’s a healthy and natural thing that, like sex, we either choose to do or not.

Simply thinking about the importance of your own pleasure is practicing sexual agency.

Being able to define yourself sexually, knowing what you want and what you don’t are important agents in accomplishing the goal you have going into a sexual encounter.

Women generally have been lacking sexual agency for decades, so to hush up the idea

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Managing Editor Ben Elfland newsroom@vtcynic.com

swing.

Hollywood actresses came together and spoke up about the abuse and power plays rampant in the industry, proving that even women who we perceive as more privileged are not safe.

It was a venture into uncharted territory to see women advocate for themselves and others on issues that were previously swept under the rug.

Now, we’re seeing another new phenomenon: what happens when disgraced men decide it’s their turn for a comeback.

The main problem with the return of these individuals is that they — not the women they assaulted — are calling the shots on what they did and how they get to return.

When men get to draw the lines of what assault is and who the bad guys are, they draw it in their own favor.

The good guys are on one side, and the bad guys are on

CO UG HL A

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EXECUTIVE Editor-in-Chief Greta Bjornson editorinchief@vtcynic.com

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his time last year, #MeToo and the Time’s Up movement were in full

their consent.

His accusers, Abby Schachner and Rebecca Corry, would beg to differ.

When men see themselves as the victims in the scenario, it is a problem because they were the perpetrators.

If we protect attackers instead of survivors, we actively perpetrate sexual assault.

The bottom line is this: if we let these men return to the spotlight, it will be as though the #MeToo movement never existed.

Once again, women will be silenced, powerful men will become invincible and survivors will be ignored.

And the fact that they got away with it again will make a second reckoning of this scale impossible.

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No second chances in #MeToo

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The Vermont Cynic

that women can and do, like men, derive pleasure from sex (or otherwise) is going against years of protected gender roles.

By playing into the stereotype, we are normalizing the idea that heterosexual sex is about a woman existing solely for male pleasure.

Women should be as unquestionably free to shamelessly explore and embrace their

sexuality as men are.

So if you really want a cup of tea but there’s no one there to make it for you, great news, you can totally make it yourself.

Gabby Lescadre is a firstyear political science major.

She has been writing for the Cynic since fall 2018.

The Vermont Cynic

Dec. 11, 2018

OPINION

5

Don’t tune out when you’re turned on Gabby Felitto gfelitto@uvm. edu

P

orn is an outlet for everyone to witness their fantasies.

However, it is still racist, there are still tropes and white men are still running it, according to the documentary “The Racist History Of Pornography.”

Porn exploits women of color, portraying them as unrealistic stereotypes.

Asian women are submissive. Black women are animalistic. Latinas copulate for money. Middle Eastern and South Asian women are repressed but willing.

Nikki Darling, a black porn actress, said white porn actresses are seen as pure, according to a 2015 Business Insider article.

Even though all of these women are doing porn, only white women are still seen as “pure,” while WOC actresses are sexualized.

Pornhub has categories like “Ebony,” “Latina” and “Asian,” but no “white” category.

The categories that insinuate a white actress in porn are “blonde” and “brunette.”

White women are the default while WOC are considered taboo.

This portrays WOC as uncharted territory since interracial couples were not always allowed. While racial mixing is very common today, there are

GENEVIEVE WINN

still many prejudiced toward it, keeping it taboo.

Porn takes advantage of society’s history of fetishizing WOC as it reaffirms stereotypes.

Ghetto Gaggers, which shows extreme and abusive oral and is affiliated with the

controversial company Facial Abuse, makes “white boys taming angry black women” porn.

This further stereotypes black women as “animals,” since Ghetto Gaggers forces them to do dehumanizing acts as they submit.

“Ebony” is the top search in

southern states like Alabama, who have a history of slavery and the Confederacy, according to a 2013 Whitman Wire article.

Alabama has 23 hate groups, including the Klu Klux Klan, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center.

It’s not surprising that states that took advantage of black people watch porn portraying black women being sexually humiliated.

A 2015 Everyday Feminism article stated porn with Asian women involves submission to white men, tricking us to think it’s an exchange of power when, in reality, it’s never equal, like colonization.

A 2009 Alternate article discussed how the plot of Latinas seeking green cards and money being raped and begging is popular.

Racist porn affirms the beliefs that WOC deserve abuse.

These excuses translate to the treatment of WOC in real life as these women are more likely get assaulted than white women, according to the nonprofit organization End Rape on Campus.

Many think that porn is just fantasy, but these fantasies are the reality for many WOC. Darling also says black actresses aren’t as marketable as white actresses.

Like in other forms of media, WOC get little representation since they’re not the default, forcing them into roles that enforce sexuaized stereotypes.

To stop this wave of racist porn from continuing, watch porn from sites that give equal pay to their actors of color and directed by women and POC, like the Cash Pad series.

Gabby Felitto is a first-year CSD major. She has been writing for the Cynic since fall 2018.

How to take control of your sex life: reflect and repeat Izzy Abraham isabraha@uvm. edu

S

ometimes a hookup happens so quickly that we don’t take the time to re-

flect.

I think it’s important now more than ever that we, meaning everyone, reflect on our sexual encounters.

It’s important to maintain healthy self-talk, to reflect often and to reflect on ideas other than sex and romance.

However, let’s start focusing and reflecting especially on our sexual experiences.

The hookup culture so prevalent among young people, especially among college students, pushes hooking up as the only option for romantic encounters.

Thus, there is no other option now than to reflect on hookups to determine what is best for ourselves.

Hopefully, you start an on-

going internal dialogue now concerning your likes, dislikes, and other preferences.

Sociologists and other social scientists have found that casual sexual encounters can have incredibly positive mental and physical outcomes. According to a 2014 Sage Journals study, if people are open to it, casual sex can be enjoyable.

Yet as a result of an unpleasant sexual encounter, there can also be grave and unappealing mental and physical outcomes.

A significant number of people will find that they have had at least one unpleasant sexual experience, according to this study by sociologists Claxton and Van Dulmen.

This can result in a range of negative emotional outcomes.

Perhaps, plain and simple, people found that these encounters just weren’t enjoyable.

Maybe they don’t want to hookup with anyone at all, at least not right now.

Sex provokes a lot of ques-

NOAH ZHOU tions. “What do I want to result from this hook up? What does it mean if we hook up?”

These questions can be too uncomfortable to discuss, or too uncomfortable to think about.

If that’s the case for you, maybe right now isn’t the best time to be hooking up.

Today, we live in a society that pushes hooking up.

People do it at parties, on the weekend, during the week, after class, before class, constantly.

It is perfectly acceptable to do this. In fact, it’s quite normal.

However, it’s also more than acceptable to remove yourself from the pressures of hooking up.

You may not have heard

this one before, but it’s okay to hookup or to not hookup.

According to a research study by sociological researchers Fielder and Carey, casual hookups in college are rampantly popular.

Up to 81 percent of all college students have had at least one casual sexual encounter.

It’s all too easy to hookup, but that’s not necessarily a reason to do it.

I am certainly not here to discourage you from hooking up with whoever.

However, I am proposing that sex can be scary and hooking up can be uncomfortable.

But it shouldn’t be.

Hooking up should be something you do based on your choices, something that is enjoyable and comfortable.

And if it’s not, or it’s not a challenge you feel like conquering right now, you need to know that that’s okay, too.

Izzy Abraham is a sophomore political science major. She has been writing for the Cynic since fall 2018.

OPINION

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The Vermont Cynic

Dec. 11, 2018

When image control goes too far Letter to the Editor

A

s a lead resident adviser and writing center tutor, the wellbeing of my community matters to me. As an Honors College student and critical thinker, honesty and academic integrity do as well.

I feel I must speak out against the problematic email sent by Annie Stevens, vice provost for student affairs, to the parents of UVM students last week about Naked Bike Ride.

There are two UVMs: the UVM students attend and the image of UVM the administration manicures. One need only look at UVM’s spending budget to see how important image is.

Students are unaware of this email, which relates to my first concern. This email encouraged our parents to dissuade us attending NBR. I think I speak for many when I say this is distasteful.

A university should not be recruiting parents to affect student behavior. Students, despite how we’re sometimes treated, are adults. We are the ones going thousands of dollars in debt for the rest of our lives; if administrators want to persuade us, they should speak to us, not behind our backs.

More concerning, however, was the dishonesty within the email, tactics reminiscent of a used car salesman. In fact, the email functioned as clickbait.

The subject read “UVM Exams: What You Need To Know” when the majority of the email was about NBR. NBR has taken place twice

HOLLY COUGHLAN a year for over twenty years, yet Stevens wrote that the event occurs “at times.” Quotes were even put around the word event; while perhaps a legal necessity, it’s read as condescending. Stevens described NBR as “waning” twice, promoting “new traditions” like “WE Has Talent,” which “draws larger crowds.”

Any student and every professor recognizes this Trumplike trick. There’s no official data on NBR participation since UVM makes it a point to

mention it is not a university event. They do not make students swipe in.

So naturally, any crowd at a UVM event could be said to be “larger.” It’s hard to compete with a nonexistent number.

And if you go to these events, you will see that her claim is false.

While most attest that participation in NBR has declined recently, I think anyone living here would agree that the word “waning” is ingenuine.

The notion that WE Has Talent

(in which students more often swipe in, nab free food, then leave) draws a larger crowd than NBR is laughable.

Especially this year, as NBR was held on Central campus, right next to the Davis Center, right next to WE Has Talent.

So, many students went to this event, grabbed free backpacks and walked outside to NBR. This may seem trivial, but words matter perhaps now more than ever.

Stevens holds a doctorate. She is the vice provost.

I’m sure she, like UVM, means well. But engaging in dishonest language, using parents as political pawns to alter student choices, all in service of UVM’s precious image, is not okay.

Unless the University wants their crusade against NBR to remain as effective as a D.A.R.E. program, UVM needs to act like a university first and a business last.

Sincerely, Seth Wade Junior

Human error: bots won’t rid Tumblr of explicit content Emily Johnston ejohnst2@uvm. edu

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umblr announced a decision to ban adult content on their website Dec. 17 after a plague of child porn and other illegal content flooded the website.

The reasoning behind this ban is that Tumblr went off the App Store, and in order to go back on they have to fix this issue.

Instead of hiring moderators who will ban illegal activities, Tumblr decided the best mode of action was to create a bot that would track for explicit content and delete it.

These bots are already failing to do their job, flagging cartoon drawings with no nudity as pornographic.

Things considered explicit, according to the Tumblr FAQs are: female-presenting nipples, media depicting sex (illustrations included), as well as pho-

tos, videos and GIFs of human genitalia.

The reaction online is that this decision is detrimental to the platform.

A platform such as Tumblr, where 22 percent of its users are active in “not safe for work” communities, is killing itself by banning porn, according to researchers from Bell Labs.

I understand the wish to get rid of illegal porn, but banning all explicit content only hurts loyal users.

Those posting illegal content will keep making new accounts and bots to post.

Though Tumblr did admit there would be mistakes, users worry about years of their artwork being lost.

The cost of banning all porn outright is far greater than getting rid of that evil.

Porn itself is not malicious, but when bots and people are posting child porn, it becomes bad.

Banning porn outright will only take away users from Tumblr, leaving the site with

HOLLY COUGHLAN less active accounts that can bring in ad revenue.

This ban only touches upon one problem of moderation.

Tumblr has neo-Nazis on the site who are against their hate speech policies, but there is no bot to keep them off.

If you currently go on Tumblr and type in sex, nothing will show up. If you type in white supremacy, however, blogs and posts will come up.

I think anyone can see how

this is wrong.

There is a clear need for better moderation of the website, and I am sure that this anti-sex bot is not the key to fixing the problems.

While it is a step in the right direction, there are far better things Tumblr could do in order to fix this issue.

Tumblr should not alienate half its user base and should instead add in a screening process done by humans that will

detect anything against their rules.

This is different from a bot because humans will evaluate based off the post itself instead of using an algorithm that may make mistakes.

With humans checking posts, non-pornographic photos and art will not be flagged, thus Tumblr will not lose half its fanbase.

This will keep illegal content off the website as well.

A half-hearted attempt to fix the moderation issue by creating a bot that doesn’t work well may get the site out of the hot seat.

But by doing this, Tumblr is effectively killing its communities and itself.

A group of nasty people and bots should not ruin porn for all users.

There must be a better way to solve this.

Emily Johnston is a firstyear environmental science major. She has been writing for the Cynic since fall 2018.

The Vermont Cynic

Dec. 11, 2018

CULTURE

7

Peer discussions promote positive sex Anna Kolosky akolosky@uvm.edu

Disco music played over speakers as colorful lights spun around the room, a setting more appropriate for a party than a sex ed group.

The Good Stuff is a peer-led group focused on educating students about sex through conversation and discussion.

The group was started when senior Jackie Tames became interested in finding an outlet for her interests in feminism and sex education during her sophomore year.

“My sophomore year, I had a crisis,” Tames said. “I felt like, ‘I need to do something,’ and I went on the Women’s Center website because I was interested in feminism and wanted to do something with that.”

Tames said she got in contact with Melissa Murray, the director of the Women’s Center, who then connected her with Sarah Mell, the education and outreach coordinator.

“Sarah and I had a conversation and I told her that I really had an interest in sex education,” Tames said. “We came up with this idea of a peer led discussion group.”

The first year was a total experiment, Tames said. She and Murray decided on different topics, researched them and then led a discussion.

STEPHAN TOLJAN/The Vermont Cynic

The Good Stuff, a peer-led group focused on educating students about sex through conversation and discussion, poses for a photo Dec. 4 at the UVM Women’s Center. The group was started by senior Jackie Tames in her sophomore year.

“The whole thing is, I’m not an expert. I’m still a student,” Tames said. “I’m just really interested in this stuff. I’m here to facilitate conversation and give space.”

After the first year, Tames and Mell decided to collaborate with Jenna Emerson, Living Well’s sexual health educa-

tor. Emerson worked with Mell over the summer to make The Good Stuff a combined project with Living Well and the Women’s Center.

“They brought me into it, since I came in last November,” Emerson said. “I was trying to do my own sex ed programming at the time, but then we decided

to collaborate instead of having competing programming.”

Mell and Emerson realized that they had a great number of students who were interested in sexual education, so they decided to set up a Google Form where students could submit their interests, Emerson said.

“As a sex educator, I’m all

for helping others learn how to teach and get experience,” Emerson said. “We added a mentorship piece to it and where students have a one-on-one with either me or Sarah to develop a lesson that they get to lead.”

The group now meets Tuesdays from 4:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. in either the Women’s Center or Living Well. Each week, a new student learns how to lead a discussion around a specific topic in sexual education with their peers.

Junior Stanhope Nwosu said he regularly attends Good Stuff discussions. He said discussions have revolved around topics like sex toys and mindful sex, kinks and bondage, discipline, dominance and submission. Next semester, the group will discuss interracial dating.

“Confidentiality is very important,” Nwosu said. “We can take what we learn and share it with others, but nothing personal ever leaves the space.”

Tames said her whole philosophy for The Good Stuff is positive sexuality.

“I feel like a lot of times on campus whenever sex is mentioned it’s the word ‘assault’ or ‘violence,’” Tames said.

“Talking about good sex and all that good stuff is just as important as supporting survivors and another way to combat that stuff.”

The “sexile:” a six-step guide to getting your room back Allie O’Connor aoconno8@uvm. edu

In a poll of 88 UVM sophomores, 45 percent of them stated they had asked their roommate to leave the room so that they could have sex.

On the other hand, 72 percent answered that they themselves had been sexiled.

Thirty-three percent of these students said they’d been sexiled overnight, unable to sleep in their own beds.

Here’s what to do if you find yourself looking down at a sock on the doorknob.

Let’s be realistic, it won’t be that long.

Being sexiled isn’t really a huge deal.

Sex and intimacy are important parts of relationships for many people, and in college, privacy is in short supply.

Your roommate is understandably just trying to get some (pun intended).

Patience, padawan. This isn’t some “Fifty Shades of Grey” marathon-length private time. You’ll be back in your room pretending nothing happened soon enough.

Just make sure you have

shoes, keys, your CATcard, your phone and something to keep you busy while your roommate and their significant other(s) get down to business.

Know where you can go.

Be it the library, a dining hall or a friend’s room, there are plenty of places to hang out when your dorm room isn’t an option.

I said it before, but make sure you have everything you need before you leave the room.

You might head over to a friend’s room only to find they aren’t there, and since you didn’t put shoes on or grab your Cat Card, you’re stuck wandering the hallways and common rooms of your dorm for the foreseeable future.

Communication.

Coming home from a long day of school and work to a locked door, knowing your roommate probably has their significant other(s) over, isn’t always fun.

It might be awkward to bring up at first, but a little embarrassment between the two of you when asking for a heads up can save you from a very awkward moment down the road. Who knows?

They might forget to lock the door, you might not think

EMMA PINEZICH to knock and the next thing you know, you’re all scarred for life.

Be it a quick text, a sticky note or the good ol’ sock on the door handle, a little notice is never too much to ask for.

Say no.

Picture this: It’s almost 1 a.m. You’re in your pajamas, further into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s than your homework.

Your roommate calls your name.

You look over to see your roommate and their significant other already in bed, giving you a sheepish look. “Can we have the room for a bit?”

You weren’t exactly looking forward to spending the night in a common room. What can

you do though? Say no?

Pretty much, yeah.

Though your roommate might feel a little miffed, your room is a shared space. It’s inconsiderate of them to expect you to be so considerate. They need to respect you just as much as they expect you to respect them.

RAs all day.

This is not anyone’s first choice, I know. But if you’re finding yourself spontaneously sexiled more times than not, and talking to your roommate about it isn’t really working, it is time to bring in the big guns.

Resident advisers are trained to handle situations just like this, and believe me, your case

is never the oddest or most embarrassing they’ve seen.

Is your roommate going to be mad? Probably. But your room doesn’t belong exclusively to your roommate, and they need to respect that.

Still here? Yikes.

The resident adviser isn’t helping. You’re finding yourself sleeping on your friend’s floor six days out of the week. You’re so angry you can’t look your roommate in the eyes.

Time to go.

I’m all for conflict resolution, but if the above statement sounds like your situation, it sounds like you need to seriously consider getting a room swap.

You can sign up for a room switch online, or maybe ask if your roommate has a friend that you could swap spaces with body-for-body.

All in all, you need to advocate for yourself. It’s good dorm etiquette to give your roommate some privacy when they ask, but as stated before, your roommate needs to respect you as much as they want you to respect them.

Allie O’Connor is a sophomore English major. She has been the Assistant Culture Editor since Fall 2018.

CULTURE

8

The Vermont Cynic

Dec. 11, 2018

PETER HIBBELER

SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR There is nothing sexier than a good grade.

It is important and necessary to stay grinding and dedicated to school. Stay committed and treat yourself for doing well.

HOLLY COUGHLAN

ILLUSTRATIONS EDITOR I like when a person has hobbies and isn’t afraid to admit to having interests. There is nothing less sexy than a person who is indifferent to everything.

KYRA CHEVALIER LAYOUT EDITOR

ALEK FLEURY PHOTO EDITOR

The “Twilight” renaissance is upon us and it’s time to admit what we’ve known all along: vampires are sexy. Give me a brooding, sparkly immortal any day (or, well, night).

Cleanliness, period. A clean room, clean clothes, clean desk. Just clean everything.

t a h W THE VERMONT

MILLS SPARKMAN OPINION EDITOR

Passion. Seeing someone “nerd out” over something, being unapologetically excited and obviously in their element is my favorite thing.

CYNIC

y sex s d n fi

BRIDGET HIGDON CULTURE EDITOR

Laughter is sexy. A loud, uninhibited and unstifled laugh is attractive. I’m not very funny, but I love to laugh, so I’m always looking out for someone with a strong sense of humor, a ridiculous story or a silly joke.

GEORGE SEIBOLD

CAROLINE SLACK

NEWS EDITOR

FEATURES EDITOR

Eye contact, a firm handshake and a confident smile. Put those networking skills to good use.

Wolves. Well, rather, writers with last names that are variations of the word “wolf.” If you haven’t read anything by Tom Wolfe, Virginia Woolf or Tobias Wolff, you’re missing out.

BEN ELFLAND

MANAGING EDITOR Curiosity is sexy. Someone who’s always reading, listening and trying to learn and become better. There’s nothing cute about watching Netflix all day or calling your mom for weed money.

CENSORED

SOPHIA KNAPPERTZ COPY CHIEF

Anything but feet. Please just keep your nasty toes away from me.

Illustrations by CAROLINE MCCUNE