Irong-irong 9

About the Cover Two girls levitate above the ground with their chests ripped open. Flowers grow out of them, reaching great heights. This symbolizes how love can affect human beings, this symbolizes the great power of things involved with love.

Through love, we live and die. Love determines whether we continue to bloom or end up wilted.

USA Publications Editorial Board and Staff Academic Year 2014-2015 Joyce Gem M. Cañete Joel S. Sastrillo EDITORS-IN-CHIEF

Stephanie Kay L. Urquiola MANAGING EDITOR

Seulgi J. Han Gizelle Anne D. Villa Victoria Jade V. Estrada ASSOCIATE EDITORS

Stephanie Kay L. Urquiola Gizelle Anne D. Villa LITERARY EDITORS

Daryl S. Selerio ART DIRECTOR

John Elmer J. Balan PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR

Jordan C. Galache

9 The Official Student Literary Journal of the University of San Agustin Volume IX, October 2014

Published in October 2014 by the UNIVERSITY OF SAN AGUSTIN PUBLICATIONS The Official Student Press Corps of the University of San Agustin 2/F Alumni Building, University of San Agustin General Luna Street, Iloilo City, Philippines 5000 Website: www.usa-pub.blogspot.com Email Address: usa.publications@rocketmail.com Telephone Number: (+63-33) 337-48-42 local 189 Copyright © 2014 by the USA Publications for the collection and the individual authors, artists, and photographers.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this publication may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form whether virtual, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without written permission and approval from the owners.

CIRCULATION MANAGER

Edrylle G. Cofreros Rochelle Louise D. Doromal Hannah Grace S. Taba Edcel B. Fajutag Resty John L. Palete SENIOR WRITERS

Kevin Jerrol C. Erebaren Frennie M. Tababa Kristin Joseff R. Gagajena Aimee Andrea D. Gaje STAFF WRITERS

Maria Clarisse T. Jaro ARTIST

Mara Elaiza A. Flores Mary Johsyen E. Pabalinas Shalayne G. Del Pilar PHOTOJOURNALISTS

Karen Pearl E. Amburgo Jessa Madeleine P. Gange Marie Julienne V. Caballete APPRENTICE WRITERS

Jefferson B. Magbanua MODERATOR

DISCLAIMER: This book, unless specified otherwise in the individual works, is a work of fiction. All the names, characters, organizations, and events portrayed are either products of imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or deceased, is entirely coincidental.

COLOPHON: This book was crafted into perfection using Miller, Swift, Elsie and Great Vibes typefaces. Page design and enhancements were done using Adobe Photoshop CS5, Adobe InDesign CS5, Adobe Illustrator CS5 and Adobe Photoshop Lightroom 5.

The cover images were crafted by Anne Catherine D. Malazarte.

The overall layout and book design were done by the USA Publications.

PRINTED BY: Panorama Printing, Inc. Corner Simon Ledesma and Lopez Jaena Streets, Jaro, Iloilo City, Philippines 5000 USA Publications Responsive • Developmental • Research-based

WANT SOME MORE OF IRONG-IRONG? Scan this code with your mobile device and read this volume of Irong-irong along with the previously published ones anytime, anywhere.

Straight through the Heart If a poem hasn’t ripped apart your soul, you haven’t experienced poetry yet.

– Edgar Allan Poe hen we want to talk about love, we are usually rendered speechless.

How can we? How could we talk about something so big and so powerful when we run out of words? How can we even begin to describe the anguish that love brings when love goes unrequited? The joy when love goes both ways? We believe that if love “hasn’t ripped apart your soul, then you haven’t experienced it yet.”

The creation of Irong-irong 9 has shifted our perspectives about this world and the love that it contains. Love is universal, but different. Love is a hot blade across the chest, but it’s also a warm embrace. Love comes through salty tears, but the reasons for them are unfathomable. We have loved and have been loved in so many ways, producing countless words, actions, thoughts, and feelings.

W

Stephanie: To the Man who has shown me what love feels and looks like, Your Love and Power will forever be the crown of my heart; thank you for letting my faith heal me. To my gorgeous mom, whose love for me still amazes me, you know how much I love you. Thank you for being my first love and I promise to give everything back. No storm lasts forever, ama. We can do this. To Shane, the “dyosa”, use your beauty wisely, *wink wink*. To my grandparents, I love you, I really do. To auntie Tess, who may be oceans away, thank you and I love you. To my best friends, thank you for giving me the kind of friendship where I don’t have to pretend to be anyone else. To the old Pub pips, I miss you guys every single day, our bond goes beyond the words and the worlds we write. To the new Pub pips, thank you for bearing with the craziness!

I hope you grow to love the Pub, and each other, like we do. To sir Jeff, our moderator, thank you for the guidance! Resty, my love for you is Ludus, Philia, Agape, Eros, Philautia, and Pragma all rolled into one—I love you playfully, uncontrollably, and madly. I loved you as a friend, and now for so much more. You have my words, and now you have my world.

Gizelle: To the Almighty God, thank you for giving me the opportunity to be part of something where I feel like I truly belong. Thank you for giving this skill another chance when I thought it’d be nothing more than a useless attachment like an extra toe or something. To my family, thank you for the unconditional love you’ve given me. Thank you for accepting my weirdness, and for always reminding (and congratulating) me on how hard puberty hit, causing me to finally evolve from my mute chimpanzee state. I love you so much! To the Pubpips, to our moderator, Sir Jeff Magbanua, thank you for the acceptance and the growth (I could’ve appreciated the vertical growth kind, too, but there will be no miracles here). Thank you for shaking the nervousness out of me, and for believing in me. (*Stitch accent* Ohana means family, and “family” means no one gets left behind.) To my side-front-diagonal-forwardbackward-all-around kick, Penpen Dela Torre, you’re the bomb. Thank you for sacrificing your time for me. Thank you for always being there, for being my cheerleader, for the patience, and for being my alarm clock. I love you to your fish bone bits!

A special thank you goes out to Nong Joel for being our constant rock; we literally couldn’t have done anything without you. To Anne Catherine Malazarte, for wonderful cover art that never fails to disappoint. You will always be an honorary Pub pip, thank you! To the “anonymous” contributors who we regretfully did not manage to track down, thank you for sharing the milk of your thoughts with us. The absence of your name shall not null the power of your words.

Cheers to all who have planted their words and thoughts into the pages of this portfolio.

May your love create great things.

lle

ize G & e i n a Steph

C O n t E n t S

Poetry Nobody is an Island | 07 Shatter | 08 From Me to You | 13 Alang-alang nga Gugma | 14 Stargazer | 15 This Piece of Writing | 17 My World | 18 Love Who Found Me | 19 A Silent Daughter to a Distressed Mother | 21 Seasons | 22 From Nothing | 23 Unexpected Turn Away | 24 Unleash | 29 Always Here | 30 You See | 31 We Fear Something Different | 32 But | 35 Real Deal | 36 Maybe | 38 Simply Be Mine | 39 Taken | 40 Desire and More | 41 Wide Open | 42 A Mentor’s Love | 44 A Mother’s Love/Fearless | 45 Nanay | 46 Not For Stingy | 47

Short Story For My Humanity | 9 Ay Kanugon! | 12 Heaven Sent | 25 Earth Bound | 27 Locked | 37 The Wallet | 48

Philia Forget me not, please We could make diamond years With friendship like ours

photo | JUSTINE WIN CA単ETE

I R O N G - I R O N G

Nobody is an Island Kristah louisse perez

Some people make us who we are Some of us were made by unfaded scar But whatever we may become, friends are always there Beneath the sorrow, there is still happiness to share.

“I love my friends,” that’s what I always say ‘Cause no matter how rough things are, they still choose to stay The laughter we share are memories of our love They are our blessings sent by the Man Above.

We need friends to cheer us up when we’re down We need friends to make us smile when we frown Friends need us to comfort them when they’re blue And we need them to be with us in sadness, too.

We have an extraordinary relationship with them We may be like atoms or any elements in tandem When misunderstandings arise, openness is never a bother This is how and what we are, we always have each other.

Wherever we go, we never fail to take our groupies It’s our special way of creating our own memories Through thick and thin we’ll always be together Time may separate us but our love will always be forever.

Life is not a life without having friends to meet Love is not love without those people building it We once lived like strangers, holding no hand But now I say nobody can ever be an island.

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Shatter

gizelle aNNe Villa

You know you truly care about someone When their heart breaks into a million pieces And yours break into two million.

illustratioN | GErAldINE AloNZAGA

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For My Humanity MarJorie Maido

was not born in antiquity, though most of the times, I felt I belonged to a different time zone. I just turned fifteen and still basically grasping what the world has to offer me. however, with my name in tow, I felt outdated, and most of the times unrelatable by the present population. My mother gave me the name Saturnina, from all the list there has been.

I was not able to confirm if my name was inspired from a planet or from a hero’s sister. My mother passed away when I was two and I never had memories of her, and so the etymology of my name remained a puzzle. With it, I just felt archival.

Not only is my name flawed or culturally lagged but also my likes and dislikes. I am literally a person of the present imprisoned in the past. As a teenager, I enjoyed the books of the olden times than the crazy stories popularized by the Wattpad. I never skipped pages of Alexander Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo, and never failed to see its film version. I cringe when I need to pause reading the thick novels of Ken Follett to study my Chemistry subject.

And so, in the real world, it was too hard to start a conversation, and harder to win friends, when I am in a totally different setting with girls of my age. And so, to be familiar with the things of the present, I started to eavesdrop to every girl groups’ conversation pieces.

On the first few days of clandestine listening, I am close to vomiting. I discovered girls’ top three conversation pieces consist of boys, make-up, and clothes. I am heading to collision. Why would boys be a topic of interest for this media-hype girl generation? With some questions in my mind, I decided to commit to what I have started.

I started clinging to benches in school where I was not really seen before, trying to make myself visible to other creatures, hoping another human being could take notice of me. however, with the way I look, with bangs all over my face, and my eyes hiding on them, I could barely see any member of human species, so do they, I guess. then I changed my strategy, I started hanging out where the boys are. Most probably, girls of my age are there, too. So I went to the school gymnasium, and sometimes at the field grounds, where many of those sweating and bodybragging funny-smelling boys are. one time, I found a spot right in the middle of the gymnasium where pretty girls of five are located. I try to be ambitious, I have seen that Mean Girls movie of Lindsay Lohan and pretty girls become more

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popular faster than the other groups. You will either love them or hate them.

I observed them for a few minutes and when I saw them cheering to a guy unrecognizable under my glasses, I mimicked their actions. I shouted at the top of my lungs and when I heard them shouting the guy’s name, I also echoed the same. Luckily for me, the guy turned his head and wave a hand at my direction.

I looked at the girls to see if they appreciated my act, and if I will be welcomed in the group any time soon. I received the most unanticipated reaction from the group that challenged my naivete’. Probably, they sensed my desperation to somehow treat my humanity’s flaws. If looks could actually kill, daggers were flying from their eyes attacking me what came to my mind to compete for this player’s attention. And more to my surprise, they carried all their things and approached my absolute location. I was so stunned when they talked in trash language while they are passing my side. I could see right before my eyes that desperation is part of human existence. How could they think that I like this guy? Uh, oh. I barely saw his face actually, and if we will bump into one another, I will never recognize him. I am so deeply engrossed with my goal, and nothing can ever stop me heal myself. With what happened that day, I decided I could indulge in my comfort food to make myself feel a little better.

So, off I went to my favorite place. I went to Starbucks SM City, ordered a mocha frappe’ and lounged at the most comfortable seat in the second floor, and opened my new romance with Pride and Prejudice. I have watched the movie and I am hoping the movie gave justice to the novel. I might have slipped over few pages reclining on the sofa when a petite, similar-looking girl of my age approached me and asked if she could share a table. I said yes, not really looking at the girl in front of me. I was digesting the story, when all of a sudden I remembered I am not alone when the girl quipped, I had a copy of that novel, too. Before I could say anything, this girl extended her hand to me for a handshake. I complied out of courtesy. She started introducing her name and a few details about her life. When I get to introduce my name, she started out asking me what my book collection consists. Hours passed and I was surprised that I have handled a conversation with someone who shared common interests with me. We started out laughing together with the lines that we have read in some novels, and started crying with the lines that are too emotional to contain our tears. When it is time to bid our goodbyes, we made sure we exchanged numbers, E-mail addresses, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram accounts.

My friendship with Nicole blossomed as years go by. We are actually friends of three years right now. We have slept in each other’s homes, shared books, and even clothes, and travel together in different places. My life changed because of her. She eventually introduced me to her circle of friends and we clicked, too. In the end, Nicole became more of a sister to me.

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Ludus Take a look at me Give me all the butterflies Bees, if you desire

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Ay Kanugon!

ANONYMOUS

y Kanugon!

Kay wala ako kwarta, naglakat lang ako pakadto eskwelahan.

Samtang galakat, gapamati sang music. Dayun, tulok sa wala, tulok sa tuo. Sang masaylo na ako sa pihak, may nagpundo sa akon atubangan. Uy, swerte gid uy, classmate ko ang nagpundo kag tani pasakyon nila ako. Ginpaluoy-luoyan ko akon itsura.

Pero pagkanaog sang bintana, ahay, puno gali sila. Ay sa pagkamalas!

Lakat naman ako liwat. Tulok sa wala, tulok sa tuo. Naka-green sign na, masaylo na gid ako ni. Kay huya ako, kuno abi, nagduko man ako. Kag gulpi lang may nakabunggo sa akon. Ay abaw, ako ang gamay, siya pa ang natumba.

Kapigaw!

Kay buot ako, ginbuligan ko siya. Nagkapyutay kami kamot. Anu ni man?

Ngaa daw ginakulbaan ako? Madasig ang pagdalagan sang kabayo sa akon tagipusuon. Daw masuka ako. Gabusong ayhan ako? Pero certified V pa man ako. Ano ni?

Pagtulok ko sa iya, una ko makita ang manami niya nga mga mata. Manami man ang iya ilong nga pwerte ka taas. Manami man ang iya bibig nga kapulala pula. Kahamot man sa iya. Ang perfume nga gingamit ya, daw bal-an ko ni haw?

Daw, daw, daw ang hamot ya, Victoria Secret nga Pure Seduction?

Gulpi lang may nagbusina sa amon. Nagsiyaggit siya. Ay, nasa tunga pa gali kami sang dalan? Ginhambal lang kami sang drayber ay, “Hoy, pabinit. Kita niyo maagi na kami. Gusto niyo magpakamatay? Pabinit.”

Dali-dali man kami nagpabinit. Ang wala ko nahibaluan, kapyutay man kami gihapon sang kamot.

“Amega, pwede mo na ako buy-an? Base hambalon sang mga taho, girlfriend ta ka. FYI, taken na ako. Sugid ta ka sa boyfriend ko.” Kag ginhukas niya ang iya kamot.

Ahay, kanugon gid. Amu ni tani ang una ko nga paghigugma, sa isa ka agi pa. Malas ko gid ini. Sa pagkanugon.

A

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From me to you NICOLE CO

The first time I met you, The wind blew through the trees.

I hope you felt the feeling I had that day From me to you.

I turned around and saw you smiling The sunlight spilling through the trees.

I hope you felt what I had that day From me to you.

I sat beside you in class You said you were happy I was there.

I hope you felt the feeling I had that day From me to you.

I saw you walking home after school I walked with you and thought I saw you blushing.

I hope you felt the feeling I had that day From me to you.

Sunlight bathed the atmosphere I looked into your eyes for a long, long time.

I hope you felt the feeling I had that day From me to you.

I watched from behind your walking silhouette I wanted to tell you I loved you; I couldn’t.

I hope someday my feelings will reach From me to you.

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Alang-alang nga Gugma athena faelmarin

Sang ikaw akon una makita Akon dughan naga kuba-kuba Imo mga mata nga matahom Ako gina-kilig kag imo napayuhom.

Sa adlaw-adlaw nga tanan, Ikaw akon ginahandum nga madatnan Ikaw ang inspirasyon sa pag-eskwela Para sabun makatapos kag maka-ubra.

Ako nalipay kun ikaw maglabay Daad ako imo masapakan, amo ang akon ginapangabay Kasadya gid guro kun kita mag-istoryahanay Abaw! Daw san-o lang, basi sabun kita mag-dayonay.

Sangka gabi-i, ako may nakita Sa Facebook, may gina-agbayan kaw nga mas gwapa Ang dughan ko nga masadya nga naga kuba-kuba Tulad naga-hibi kag gapangasubo na.

Ahay! Paghigugma man gid tuod Kalipay sa una, kasubo man ang sunod Basi bata pa gid man ako para rigya Ako anay ma-eskwela, sa sunod lang ra ang paghigugma.

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Stargazer May Angelu Cabacaug

I don’t know what it is about you That attracted me You’re not even my type But you made me fall for you.

You’re too tall And you have a big face Maybe it’s your attitude That made me like you.

You have big, round eyes Those, honestly, sometimes look scary Because I like guys with small eyes That disappear with their smiles.

Your eyes aren’t beautiful Neither is your nose Maybe it’s just your smile That melted my heart.

A guy that looks good in jeans And in hoodies I like guys who are cuddly But you’re just too skinny.

I like guys who are cute Lovable and full of charm A guy who is like a little brother Someone who is the total opposite of you.

But my heart trembles When I see your bright smile I forgot about my ideal guy When you came into my life .

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photo | penpen dela torre

I R O N G - I R O N G

This Piece of Writing John Michael Elritz Gallo

“This piece of writing. I’m not sure why I stayed up late for this. Maybe it’s my habit not to sleep before midnight, or the coffee 30 minutes before.

I am not foolish as you may have thought of now.

The coffee is not part of the habit actually. I just felt like drinking it tonight because I needed to.

Needed? I needed coffee for my daily habit all of a sudden! I just amused myself right there again.

Well, clearly, I did something different tonight.

Not only did I infuse caffeine into my system, I also listened to the music of a dead deaf musician.

Honestly, this is how I had hoped myself to be at every end of the day -- at least, one paper filled or 20 pages read every night. But life, as complicated as it can be, always finds its way to ruin you. Well, tonight’s different. Beethoven played his symphony this time, and my heart is alive. I don’t care how foolish I sound. All that matters is that I’ve found myself again because I intended to write about someone I truly love. Ah, the things love can do to you!”

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My World

Edward ROLAND gabrillo

Before, they said the Earth was flat.

Then they decreed that it was round.

Spherical, to be exact.

Strange.

I’ve always believed that you are the world.

Illustration | DARYL SELERIO

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Love Who Found Me ma. charise pansinsoy

I thought I met love The day I was born A blessing; a gift from above And a smile that cannot be torn.

I thought I met love The day I heard hate Forgiveness and acceptance was found And so was a friendship that will never end.

I thought I met love When I learned to stand Protection and strong will was developed And confidence was finally at hand.

I thought I met love, When someone told me “I love you�

It was sweet and romantic I knew what I felt was true.

Love could be anything Some people set it free But I never really met love It was love who found me.

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Pragma “Till death do us part�

Two lovers sealed together Drowned in elixir

I R O N G - I R O N G

A Silent Daughter to a Distressed Mother Karen Bernadette Vergara

Mother where did your smile go to these days?

A smile – so bright to one forlorn from fright.

As if bitter ghosts had taken its place – And dulled those eyes that were one full of fright When down days hold you, tempers fly – And unhappy thoughts will nev’r leave you Yet we do not protest, complain nor sigh Such because you need it, don’t you agree?

But wishes of greens can’t pay for that smile – A smile that means the world to your daughters.

Willing we are to go the extra smile Because you are none like any other.

Though bottled up anger will change your hue – Keep in mind that we will always love you.

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Seasons

aYah daNiCa graNada

Longer days limited horizons.

So absorbed with your sunrise, overlooking that it, too, synchronically set with mine. by dawn, You-gone.

It was autumn when our Fall began.

artworK | JoEl SASTrIllo

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From: “nothing” Gizelle Anne Villa

When I gaze into your eyes I realize that you are made out of everything Your irises are like dark chocolate worlds That house your sadness.

Your skin glows like the Milky way, so covered with stars.

Your head is filled with asteroid dreams That are scared of crashing.

I see that your smile rises up the tide inside me And your laugh floats me off to Pacific sunrises and sunsets.

Your voice cools me off like rain And your presence dries my mouth into a desert.

One night, I was just wondering about what An “everything” like you needs To which my barely hanging self-esteem answered with “nothing” And then I thought with an unexplainable smile That maybe, just maybe We would be perfect together.

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Unexpected turn away Mikee Mercado

I met you unexpectedly In the middle of unknown journey Those days of ups and downs Still I can hear your voice loudly Those golden days are treasure To laugh with you is a pleasure Those silly things we say and do Are memories that I’ll always know.

I thought we’re too mature to be okay And things should be understood that way I should have known we’re not the same We have seen things in a different way I wish I’ll never open it up Rather, be blind and just shut up For in this way we’ll stay the same It’s much better than having you away.

I wish I could turn back time Even if I’m silently hurting Bring back those days again I’ll risk my feelings as a bargain Partings have never been easy Even if I’ve been loving selflessly People just come and go Without any warnings of letting go.

I’m still here waiting And I’m silently hoping To bring back those days We were used to having...

photo | mary johsyen pabalinas

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Heaven sent Gizelle Anne Villa

hope you know I never wanted to leave. I never wanted to leave you behind on land, never wanted to sail away from you this early. I’m so sorry for not being safe, so sorry for making you cry. I’m so sorry your “Keep safe always. I love you! Thanks for the time you gave me today :)” text didn’t coat me with a titanium barrier of some sort. I wish it did. I wish I coated myself with a titanium barrier just so I could’ve replied, could’ve called you..

Hey. Hey, don’t cry. You’re doing it again.

Stop.

There you go, sweetie. Grab a tissue. There you go. I am so, so sorry this had to happen. I’m sorry you had to give that eulogy in front of all those people.

I

Neat. I just realized that I officially do not exist anymore and I have to look at you, claiming the days that should’ve been ours.

People down there are saying that I’m happy right here. To be honest, I actually kind of like it here. Man, there’s a great view and everything. They said I wouldn’t be able to feel pain anymore. That’s not really true. I keep on thinking about you. There’s pain when I think about you.

Ten years from now or maybe earlier than that (or later, even), I’m going to witness your wedding with an extraordinary girl. And there’s pain because I really did think that I had the chance to wear one of those beautiful wedding gowns. I really believed that I would be a mother of two, that I would be able to hold your hand until we age and end up where I am right now.

You know, I could’ve loved you even more. I had the capacity. I had plans for the both of us. Like I said, I never wanted to leave. We were having such an adventure.

It’s a pain that there’s no way I could burst through that door, sit beside you, and just talk with you. I hate the fact that my text messages will never be able to reach you ever again. No more walks under orange lights, no more cuddling under warm sheets, no more movies, no more dancing, no more singing ‘til I fall asleep on your lap, no more birthdays, no more hand-holding, no more kisses, no more late night phone calls, no more window shopping, no more us.

I’m sorry it had to end in the middle of our little romance. This may be the

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worst break up yet.

I hope you find her. I hope she’ll be able to take all those tears away.

Okay, now i’m the one who wants to cry.

I wish I were the one you would’ve ended up with for the rest of your life. I really do love you. You’re amazing. I’m going to miss you every day.

Want to know something else that’s such a pain right now?

One day, you’re going to end up here, too. One day, your family’s going to end up here and then I’ll see you once again. Be happy because you’re going to be just fine. But, for me, it’s going to be a different story. I’m going to look at you like you’re the most golden of all things golden.

But, all I’ll get will be an apology, and a silent breeze from all the love you’ve lost for me.

I will not hate you. I will love you, still.

I will love you even when you’re dancing with your wife under the promised light. I will love you with all the love I took with me because you’re the one I loved last.

Hey, please take care of my family for me. I know they’re just as sad as you are. I hope they comfort you. I hope they welcome you into our home and they’ll show you pictures, they’ll tell you memories. I hope they let you inside my room so you could remember me. I hope you don’t forget too soon. I hope you guys appreciate that I happened.

Tell my mother she’s beautiful, tell my father you loved me, tell my siblings to keep safe and to never lose faith. Tell yourself to be strong. Tell yourself that even in tears, you’re still going to look forward to days, afternoons, and nights.

Tell yourself that love will still exist.

Guess what, darling? They told me they could help me with you!

That’s it. Lie down and breathe. We have a little surprise for you.

I told them about something both of us love. They’re going to make it rain for us.

Ah, I love the rain. Want to know something else? I love the rain, but I love you even more.

Illustration | Penpen Dela Torre

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Earth Bound Penpen Dela Torre

hope it rains. I love rain. Just like the way I love you. No, I love you more. I’d rather watch the rain with you than watch it alone. I’m sure you would love it the way I do. And then we would have coffee together while the rain’s pouring. We can make pancakes, too. That would be romantic, wouldn’t it?

I know you like romantic stuff. I’ve memorize that look on your face when you were tickled pink; I know you liked kissing me when I’m trying to be cute.

I know that you would always look at me, appreciating my existence. I knew it when you were sad. When you were pissed, you would tend to be so quiet and I knew that if I hugged you, you would be fine.

If I hugged you now, would you be fine for me again?

I knew when you were crying and pretending to be asleep. I knew that kind of laugh you projected when my jokes weren’t that funny. I knew you would get hurt for something so little and stupid. I knew you would cry over little things because you thought that little things should be appreciated. And I know I should’ve appreciated you, the precious littleness of you, the kind of little that’s wider than the oceans combined, the little that was mine to protect.

I should’ve danced with you in the rain. I should’ve blanketed you with stories and dreams of gold, silver, and bronze. I should’ve kissed and hugged you tight ‘till you were black and blue, should’ve never have let you go. I shouldn’t have let you leave.

I should’ve said “I love you” every second, every minute, every hour of the day. I should’ve taken you to a castle full of cakes and then you would’ve cried because you couldn’t eat all of it no matter how much you wanted to. I should’ve bought you candy bars, roses, and fluffy stuffed bears that spelled “You’re mine” on their chests. I should’ve carried your heavy backpack all the way to your door.

I should’ve let you carry a kiss goodnight up the stairs. I should’ve showed you how much you meant to me and how much I loved you. I could’ve showed you so many, I could’ve loved you more.

I swear I could’ve loved you so much more. I had so much to give.

But, you’re not coming back, aren’t you? And I have to bear with the fact that you’re gone now. I miss you. I miss your voice. The world seems so empty without you. You made this Earth like Heaven. And I guess when Heaven went home, it took you with it.

No one would ever replace you, ever. Not even the wonders of rain, because I love rain, but I love you more.

I

Illustration | Penpen Dela Torre

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Philautia Thickened confidence “Mirror mirror on the wall�

Discovered beauty

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Unleash NiCole Co

broken and Shattered Falling to Pieces She sits on a bed of nails Scarred and bleeding tattered nails and broken skin her head in her arms She only thinks of darkness She doesn’t feel fear She doesn’t feel pain only the numbness of her heart beating And the silence of her world.

photo | mArA ElAIZA FlorES

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Always Here Yvonne capatayan

Hush little child, please cry no more The pain is strong, so strong and sore Hold my hand, let me sing you a song Mommy’s gone, I understand your tears But cry no more because I am here.

Dear little child, daddy’s going away Never to return, yes never to stay Want to be someplace nowhere near You’re all on your own in the harsh winter year Don’t grow so cold, little one I am here.

Sweet little child, helpless and lonely Begging for a wee lil’ act of mercy In this town of grief and endless misery In your empty cold eyes, I see the fear You think you’re alone, but child I am here.

Oh little child, life has been cruel You never smiled, never loved, only hated You failed to see in those long lonely years I was here, always here to make you happy Love never left you, If only you had let me.

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You See Stephanie KAY tUrquiola

You see, I have never felt good enough Not for anyone, especially not for me So I apologize if things are tough I guess this I how I think things should be.

You see, when you forget to love yourself You think others do too When in reality, the only problem is you.

You see, sometimes life doesn’t like knocking twice When you don’t answer, they tend to keep their distance So don’t blame anyone for the things you don’t get to do Because like everything else, the choice is up to you.

You see, a mirror isn’t evil, it only shows what you perceive It’s like a magic trick, it depends on what you believe Believe in yourself, I’m telling you Sometimes, you have to come to your own rescue.

This is what I have seen from the world All of this, these are my lessons learned If only believing was as easy as 1, 2, 3 Because you see, I’m writing this poem for me.

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We Fear Something Different Edward Gabrillo

We can’t all hold teddy bears at night or have our rooms lit with hallway light.

There are those who’d rather live in the dark than have their heart bear Love’s mark.

Some would struggle until their eyes turn yellow, thrash and flail just to avoid Cupid’s arrow.

It’s not the pain nor is it the violent sobs they fear, but the happiness that had once existed but had disappeared.

“Take no prisoners and lock the door for I have had enough of love, no more.”

We can shrug our shoulders or forget what we’ve been through.

But, we have to admit that we had once said these words too.

ARTWORK | MARIA CLARISSE JARO

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photo | penpen dela torre

Eros Blood-red bitten lips Clothing gone, turned into rags Bittersweet madness

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QueNnie Falsario

I love you But You Love(s) Someone Else I’m still confused What should I do?

We shared Something No one can explain that I took the risk Thinking you’ll do the same But Maybe this isn’t our story to write

We were Perfect for each other: I don’t know, but are we really?

We’re stupid, they say For being with each other And that We can’t fix what’s broken, I did not believe that

I lost hope.

But never did I ever imagine That it would hurt more than I felt Before, Because

Hoping for our love story to realize I kept on fighting But There’s nothing to hold on to

Now, All that I can do Is to cry it out To heal And Continue(s) My life Without you Now READ each line from the bottom to top.

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Real Deal Diane DANICA Dy

I heard you say it a thousand times And maybe a thousand more But all were nothing but sounds Of the same words I have heard from you before.

I should’ve read in between the lines The part where your pauses were actually the truth And the blanks you filled are empty letters That were all too worthless to lose.

You may had left clues Preparing me for this moment Of seeing you running back to her And of knowing you that already knew how this will end But you forgot one thing.

The aftermath of the damage you made me feel Will hurt a thousand times more Than the worth of us If only we were real.

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Locked Joyce Gem Cañete

gave the cold metal a final caress as I stare down at the familiar face with a familiar smile, with a feeling I can barely remember. With a snap of my index finger, the rusty locket clicked to a close showing the initials K&J ∞ on it.

It’s been exactly a year and seven months now.

But it feels just like yesterday.

Well, of course, she is not coming back.

‘Cause a year and seven months is enough to convince me that forever is over.

I ///

But today is different. Today, July 30, is exactly a year and seven months since our break up. The sun’s a bigger chrome, hotter than usual --- perhaps hot enough to kindle the chilling bones beneath my skin until they crackle just like the dry twigs waiting to die as I skip on them.

I am going to meet him --- the one who saved me from the heartaches; the one whose smile bended the wounds until they closed; and the one who hugged me so tight, the broken pieces came altogether until I am well again.

It’s July 30 and it’s almost a year ago since we met, a year since I decided to move on from the misery.

I thought maybe I should tell him about “her.” After all, it’s our anniversary. Perhaps that’s enough reason to let him know that he made everything “well again.” /// “Hey.” I studied his face across the square white table. His gaze electrified mine. Dark brown eyes to dark brown eyes. Yet he said nothing, he just flashed that familiar smile of his.

“Happy anniversary,” I said meekly, my voice almost squeaking against my throat. Again, he just looked at me.

“Look, before you!” I tasted the atmosphere as I try to mouth the words. “…there was someone else. But, but I’m over her…because, you saved me.”

Still silence.

I swallowed the air that’s been circling above my tongue. “Again, happy anniversary, Kael.”

Alas, he smiled and bent towards me, his lips parting against my ear.

“No, happy one year and seven months…and counting to forever, Joyce,” Kael whispered as he handed over a golden locket etched with the initials K&J ∞ on it.

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Maybe Diane DANICA Dy

maybe i won’t know how this ends maybe i’ll wake up everyday to the pain maybe tomorrow i may see you again but i wouldn’t know what to say. maybe i’ll miss you more than i should maybe i’ll move on soon enough just to see you try maybe i’ll hold on to our memories longer than i ever could just to forget all the reasons why. maybe these maybes will never end maybe what ifs were better off said maybe i’ll turn you to the words i left unspoken writing you down cause maybe just maybe you’ll see what you have broken.

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Simply Be Mine Kevin JERROL Erebaren

His fingers caresses her lips, as they bleed with their final cries.

Blinded by words in their courtships, Led by riddles and fetid lies.

He took a ring and on his knee, he requested her to be wed.

She obliged before disloyally taking another man in bed.

She was a sultry temptress, too desirable not to share.

He was beguiled by this actress, and everything seemed unfair.

His breath stroked her skin so nicely, as his hands enveloped her neck. “Stay with me” was his hushed plea as she embraced the arms of death.

His lips curled up wide, his eyes wet, her eyes misty as she cried and plead. His and her tears on cold cheeks met, He has finally done the deed.

They say a man kills the thing they love, The coward with a kiss, brave men with a sword. Lying asleep in arms, ladylove His… forever to be adored.

ILLUSTRATION | GERALDINE ALONZAGA

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Taken

Diane DANICA Dy

And we’ve called it forbidden Lost it all to something uncertain Just to end up with more questions Answered by my own pretensions.

Denying all what’s worth And faking blindness to avoid the hurt But the ending’s written and sealed by truth Though still crying rivers just by trying not to think about you.

And so we both have called it forbidden For the sake of hiding all the things we have stolen We ended up in the directions we both knew were right Losing it all to the one thing We were too afraid to fight.

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Desire and more amore mio

The clock struck twelve, Still awake and delve.

One move, a slight chance But risked in one glance.

The cold breeze made me shudder With your touch, all seems warmer Knowing that I’m out of my sense, Assuring, the rest was intense.

Abash was I, you uncovering me Likewise, pleasure and commend what we see.

Now I heard nothing as my heart beats furiously I lift you and wrap my arms momentarily.

We kissed with grip and both were astounded Turning beneath you, I intended.

Then everything is quiet but not still Both satisfied in accordance with will.

The sun peeks in the window pane Pondered and thought it was insane.

No, it was perfect! My love for you will never efface, It already penetrated my heart and we embrace.

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Wide Open Diane DANICA Dy

did you close your eyes when you walked away did you regret leaving me that day did you stop to look back wondered if along i did too or did you just keep on walking without a clue did you wonder if i would’ve made you stayed despite all your lies if you walked away tell me did you close your eyes?

ILLUSTRATION | daryl selerio

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Agape “With wings like steel shields, I’ll surrender the night sky To make you smile, love”

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A Mentor’s Love John Martin Mondragon

Bewildered at the twilight of my innocence In this road of doubt, I quest for a mentor’s presence As ignorance devours and knocks me down Someone offered her hand and put a smile on my frown.

All my life I’ve searched for someone who accepts me as I am I regarded the wildest mountains to the fiercest oceans I looked above, but He pointed to someone below I turned back, I found a teacher, indeed, a hero.

Their humble service and love for their profession It’s the only elixir to this fallen Filipino nation Despite having no time for themselves and their meager salary They remained to be an epitome of dignity, honor and philosophy.

They won’t let illiteracy drown our ambition’s fire Instead they lit up the goblets of our desire The service they rendered for the people of tomorrow Will cast the world no pain or sorrow.

A mentor’s love is a divine and pure thing The kind of love that makes a man a human being But that’s what a mentor’s love truly is It trumpets loyal service and resonates eternal bliss.

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Fearless ANONYMOUS

Truly, nothing can compare to a mother’s love Not even the roar of a lion nor the gentleness of a dove Not even the heights of the mountain nor the depths of the sea For a mother is special, so is her love for you and me.

Plants may wither, time may pass The love of a mother will always last From the day her child was born until the day the child will mourn Truly, nothing can compare to a mother’s love.

Nine months of pain a mother bore Until she saw tiny hands whom she would die for Tears drop in her eyes like a candle cries Truly, nothing can compare to a mother’s love.

Eighteen years have gone, a teen her child is known Child went to prison, mother did everything to get a loan Years have passed, they’re together at last Truly, nothing can compare to a mother’s love.

A mother is God’s gift— precious and priceless When He made Adam, He made Eve fearless Your mother could take a bullet for you, so never make her blue Truly, nothing can compare to a mother’s love.

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Nanay Gizelle Anne Villa

I do not see it most in the tangled wires of gizmos Nor in the ocean of plans you’ve behold for me I do not see it most on the plates of gluttonous munchies Hidden in the coldness of our refrigerators nor in the Last minute goodbyes and sleepy hellos But I see the purest, truest love you could give Shining on the sweat of your fatigued skin And clinging hard unto your shaking bones That you bring home Every night Just to let me live.

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photo | SHALAYNE DEL PILAR

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Not for the Stingy Abigail SAbijon

Love is a hand stretched near of far for another Love is Sweat squeezed out Day and night For another Love is The embrace Of a stranger For another Love is What engulfs A life to be laid down For another It’s for the me Behind you, Beside you, And in front of you.

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The Wallet yvonne capatayan

he wallet’s in there, I can see the shape of it from here. It’s inside of the pocket of his jacket. I move the chair closer to him. He doesn’t even notice. I check around me, the guy, the lady with a heavy make-up behind the counter. Three minutes later, I’ve drunk my latte and gone. And I’ve got a nice fat wallet.

This was the kind of lifestyle Thomas and I were introduced to. I could stash two to three wallets home per day but my brother does better than me. He taught me everything I needed to know. We grew up in a bad neighbourhood.

Our dad was a heavy drunkard and had been sent behind bars a couple of times.

He’s in life sentence now; I don’t want to tell what he did. Our mom, well she was a hooker and knowing hookers, she rarely comes home. One night, she never came back. And that was five years ago.

Living in such a hellhole, you’d have to be pretty cold. Unemotional.

Unloving. First years of just me and Thomas on our own were pretty rough.

Things haven’t changed. We still get in trouble with the police, we live on the streets, we do bad stuff like, bad stuff. But we managed. We have to or we’re goners. If you’ve seen what I’ve seen for eleven years, you’d learn not to love.

Love is for stupid little ticks. Thomas never felt loved so he never loved. I never felt loved so I never loved. Life didn’t love us so we didn’t love life. Simple connection.

Yeah, all right I know what you’re thinking. How could anyone be that unloving? Well, here’s an answer, genius; try living our lives then you’d know.

When you have to work to the last drop of your blood, to the last bone of your body and still get abused, well, thank love for giving you all that crap. The thing about loving, we’re all told it’s good. Love and be loved, love and be loved. But where’s that ever got anyone?

Thomas was already at the gas station when I arrived. He was shaking terribly. He had a bad case of the flu the past few days, but he insisted on carrying on with his “night” job. I know it’s something illegal, but who cares, as long as we get the money, right? Thomas was coughing up pretty badly. I asked if he was okay. He said he was. Liar. I tell lies, too. Even brothers hide something from each other. We tally the package we snagged for the day. Five hundred, one thousand, whoa! Almost four thousand. Thomas placed half of the amount in his pocket and stashed the rest in his brown wallet. He always

T

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saves a portion of what we “collected.” Okay, time to head out. We never stay put in the same part of the city, see she’s a fickle. She can love you one minute, bite your head off the next. I don’t always like her. And I never loved her.

Friday night. Worse night of the week. Why? It means a hell lot of pushers coming at ‘ya for delayed remittance. We get that a lot. I wait in the back of an old truck for Thomas, to hitch a ride downtown. There’s the old goon. Wait, he’s paler than usual. He comes up at me and hugs me. What. The. Hell. He shakes his head and pinches my nose. Oh crap. Thomas hasn’t done that since six years ago. We settle down in uncomfortable silence as we drove off in the night.

4:15 a.m. Thomas was late. Very late. I checked my watch again and out the window, Dude where the hell are you? I fell asleep. I woke up to loud banging on our door. It was the police. They asked if I knew a “Thomas Aarons.” I said that he was my brother. They said he died. What? His body was found down 4th Avenue. They said he died due to extreme fever which was burning him up for weeks. WEEKS. He was also malnourished. I can’t believe this crap.

Where the hell did he spend all those money? They drove me to the station and handed me a heavy box. They said it was the only thing they found with my brother. I opened it and there was money! Money, sealed, taped, tightened with a rubber band, but still undeniably money. There was also Thomas’ brown wallet. An officer handed me a document, saying it was with the box. It was an arrangement for me to be taken in a foster home. It was all paid. It was signed by Thomas. What the hell, dude? WHAT THE HELL! All this time, he was saving up for this? The money was for this? For me? He was down on his knees because of an illness and yet all he could think about was taking me to a foster home? The police volunteered to drive me off to the house. I was too numb to respond. There was a text in my phone, I hadn’t realized. It was from Thomas.

“Sorry bro,” it read, “won’t come home tonight.” And it said three words I never ever expected, “I love you, Will.”

I don’t know when the tears started, but they did. And I didn’t give a damn.

They fell and I let them. It’s been so long since I cried and I think it was worth to shed them for my brother. My brother, who was deprived of the very emotion he had just shown to me: Love. Somehow, in this, horrible, cruel and miserable hellhole, I felt a little piece of heaven even for just awhile. At least, I knew, I had been loved.

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photo | mary chua

ARTWORK | DARYL SELERIO

Artwork | daryl selerio

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List of Contributors Geraldine Alonzaga BMLS 3 I don’t know when, I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but I do.

Ayah Danica Granada The Guy Above is still writing my love story.

Maria Clarisse Jaro BFA 1 There is no such thing as love if there is no trust

May Angelo Cabacang BS Bio 2 Love is when nobody does it better.

Joyce Gem Cañete BS Phar 4 No such thing as falling in love with the wrong person, only having the wrong feelings for the right ones.

Justin Win Cañete “Notice me, Senpai” Yvonne Capatayan BMLS 3 Love is a fire. Whether it will warm your heart or burn your house, you can never tell.

Nicole Co BS Psych Perfect and Imperfect, I accept and love both ways.

Marjorie Maido Love is found in unexpected places.

Amore Mio Love comes in different ways, but in your eyes I’d like to stay forever; this love is my first.

John Martin Mondragon BS Bio 2 Actions ≠ Words Mary Johsyen Pabalinas BMLS 2 Love is worth a thousand pictures.

Ma. Charise Pansinsoy B LIS 3 In love, there is no specific time and date.

Penpen Dela Torre AB MasComm 3 It’s a secret.

Kristah Louisse Perez BMLS 1 Not a deep person, but not an outcast. Not a great poet, but a poem enthusiast.

Shalayne Del Pilar It’s always possible.

Abigail Sabijon AB Lit 4 Things I do for love? Always amaze me.

Diane Danica Dy BMLS 4 Love is when you’re trying to save the sunrise for something worth more than tonight.

Kevin Erebaren BS Psych 3 I was nauseous and tingly all over; I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Athena Faelmarin AB MasComm 2 Love is friendship that has caught on fire.

Quennie Dame Jordan Falsario AB Polsci 3 Love happens when I saw you, you saw her, I looked at her, she’s my mirror.

Mara Elaiza Flores AB Psych 2 “Because I love him, despite the things he has done.”

Edward Roland Gabrillo Takes only the love that is given to him which is infinitely less than the love that he wants to take.

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Joel Sastrillo BSCE 5 Who’s in my mind? YOU. Daryl Selerio BS CE 3 The guy sees nothing more beautiful than her beauty, his eyes (his eyeballs, to be exact) are reflecting.

Stephanie Kay Urquiola BS Psych 3 I have loved more than I should have and I am loved more than I should be; this love is my last.

Karen Bernadette Vergara AB Lit 4 Love is selfless, but it is also selfish.

Gizelle Anne Villa BS Bio 3 My life’s ink isn’t enough to write the sum of you.

P.S: My life’s ink is black because it’s cool and dark.