Unethical Press

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UNETHICAL UNIVERSITYPRESSONLINE.COM/UNETHICALPRESS

APRIL 19, 2011

VOL. 12 ISSUE 28

THE

HULK?!

Pg. 18

PRESS

SPECIAL ISSUE: Believe this at your own risk!

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First issue is free; each additional copy is 50 cents and available in the UP newsroom.

2 APRIL 19, 2011

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Journalism ethics at their finest UNETHICAL PRESS www.upressonline.com April 19, 2011 SPECIAL ISSUE EDITOR Alyssa Cutter EDITOR-IN-BEARD Gideon Grudo QUEEN OF THE NEWSROOM Mariam Aldhahi MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD Tyler Krome GOD Ricky Michalski IMPORTANT BORING STUFF Sergio N. Candido UNIMPORTANT FUN STUFF Alyssa Cutter INFECTIONS EDITOR Franco Panizo TRAINING BRA Briana Bramm CREATIVE COMMONER Christine Capozziello LISTINGS LISTER Kaceion Hudson SENIOR CITIZEN Karla Bowsher “THERE’S NO WAY HE’S A REAL PERSON” Chris Persaud MONEY MAN James Shackelford CERTIFIED Ariana Corrao

For this issue only, the UP is breaking the rules (on purpose) ALYSSA CUTTER SPECIAL ISSUE EDITOR

When I told my parents that I wanted to be a journalist when I grew up, they didn’t exactly give me a thumbs-up.

My parents always supported me, but they were worried about their eldest daughter becoming a journalist – and not because of the notoriously bad pay.

They were troubled by what they saw as biased news coming from mainstream media.

The sad news is my parents are partly right. There are a lot of unethical media outlets, some by choice and some by accident. But what some people – including my parents – don’t know is that journalists have a code of ethics, and most obey it. The University Press sure does.

The Society of Professional Journalists, the nation’s largest journalism organization, has a Code of Ethics that’s nearly a century old. It’s a guide many journalists follow voluntarily. The Code is not law – you can’t sue a journalist for not following it.

This is SPJ’s Ethics Week, so for this issue only, the UP – transformed into the Unethical Press – has violated the SPJ code as much as possible. Our goal? To show you (and for me to show my parents) just how bad a newspaper

could be if it didn’t follow any ethical guidelines.

Turn the page to read the entire SPJ Code of Ethics.

Each page after that lists the code violations in the nearby stories and photos.

But we don’t tell you exactly where those violations are. We want you to find them.

If you do, we’ll reward you for our unethical behavior.

The first three UP readers who find all the broken codes per page and bring them to the UP (room 214 of the Student Union) on any given Friday will get a $20 Starbucks gift certificate.

For an example of what we mean, see the story below.

It violates the following codes: “Be cautious about identifying juvenile suspects,” “Diligently seek out subjects of news stories to give them the opportunity to respond to allegations of wrongdoing,” and or “Never distort the content of news photos.” (We obviously Photoshopped the knife on the baby.)

See the box underneath the photos? That violates “Admit mistakes and correct them promptly.”

If you have any questions about this special issue – or complaints that we’ve gone too far – email me at upress@fau.edu.

SOLID SNAKE Paul Cohen

WHY ARE WE STILL HERE? Brandon Ballenger Monica Ruiz SENIOR ABSENTEE Liz Dzuro “GET ME COFFEE” Ryan Cortes, Mark Gibson, Brittney Deoliveira POINT-N-SHOOT Elizabeth Whitton MASTER FINGER PAINTER Adam Sheetz “NO, SERIOUSLY. WHERE’S MY COFFEE?” David Aedo, Phaedra Blaize, Lorenzo Ponce de Leon (FIRED) ADVISER Michael Koretzky

777 Glades Road Student Union, Room 214 Boca Raton, FL 33431 PHONE: (561) 297-2960

There’s a gang war going on at FAU. It’s East Campus (the Karen Slattery Educational Research Center for Child Development) vs. West Campus (the Lifelong Learning Center, above), and 2-year-old LILLY SUMMER was arrested Tuesday for shanking an LLC senior citizen on Monday. Summer is a stonecold killer who deserves to rot in prison – because the remorseless tot will kill again.

WANT TO JOIN OUR TEAM? E-mail: upress@fau.edu Staff meetings: Every Friday, 2 p.m. in the Student Union, Room 214 WANT TO PLACE AN AD? Contact Marc Litt at (732) 991-6353 or marc@universityimpress.com PUBLISHER: FAU Student Government The opinions expressed by the UP are not necessarily those of the student body, Student Government or the university.

COVER BY MARIAM ALDHAHI

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PHOTO BY CHRISTINE CAPOZZIELLO

PHOTO BY PHAEDRA BLAIZE

JESUS Rachel Chapnick

GOT AN OPINION?

If you want to tell us where we went wrong, DON’T. Here at the Unethical Press, we don’t make mistakes so take your pointless complaints elsewhere.

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THE SPJ CODE OF ETHICS

preaMBle Members of the Society of Professional Journalists believe that public enlightenment is the forerunner of justice and the foundation of democracy. The duty of the journalist is to further those ends by seeking truth and providing a fair and comprehensive account of events and issues. Conscientious journalists from all media and specialties strive to serve the public with thoroughness and honesty. Professional integrity is the cornerstone of a journalist’s credibility.

Members of the Society share a dedication to ethical behavior and adopt this code to declare the Society’s principles and standards of practice.

Seek TruTh and reporT IT

MInIMIze harM

Journalists should be honest, fair and courageous in gathering, reporting and interpreting information.

Ethical journalists treat sources, subjects and colleagues as human beings deserving of respect.

Journalists should:

Journalists should:

u Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid

u Show compassion for those who may be affected adversely by news coverage. Use

inadvertent error. Deliberate distortion is never permissible. u Diligently seek out subjects of news stories to give them the opportunity to respond

to allegations of wrongdoing. u Identify sources whenever feasible. The public is entitled to as much information

as possible on sources’ reliability. u Always question sources’ motives before promising anonymity. Clarify conditions

attached to any promise made in exchange for information. Keep promises. u Make certain that headlines, news teases and promotional material, photos, video,

audio, graphics, sound bites and quotations do not misrepresent. They should not oversimplify or highlight incidents out of context. u Never distort the content of news photos or video Image enhancement for technical

clarity is always permissible. Label montages and photo illustrations. u Avoid misleading re-enactments or staged news events. If re-enactment is necessary

to tell a story, label it. u Avoid undercover or other surreptitious methods of gathering information except

when traditional open methods will not yield information vital to the public.

Use of such methods should be explained as part of the story. u Never plagiarize. u Tell the story of the diversity and magnitude of the human experience boldly,

even when it is unpopular to do so. u Examine their own cultural values and avoid imposing those values

on others. u Avoid stereotyping by race, gender, age, religion, ethnicity, geography, sexual

orientation, disability, physical appearance or social status.

special sensitivity when dealing with children and inexperienced sources or subjects. u Be sensitive when seeking or using interviews or photographs of those affected by

tragedy or grief: u Recognize that gathering and reporting information may cause harm or discom-

fort. Pursuit of the news is not a license for arrogance. u Recognize that private people have a greater right to control information about

themselves than do public officials and others who seek power, influence or attention. Only an overriding public need can justify intrusion into anyone’s privacy. u Show good taste. Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity. u Be cautious about identifying juvenile suspects or victims of sex crimes. u Be judicious about naming criminal suspects before the formal filing of charges. u Balance a criminal suspect’s fair trial rights with the public’s right to be informed.

acT IndependenTly Journalists should be free of obligation to any interest other than the public’s right to know.

Journalists should: u Avoid conflicts of interest, real or perceived. u Remain free of associations and activities that may compromise integrity or

damage credibility. u Refuse gifts, favors, fees, free travel and special treatment, and shun secondary

employment, political involvement, public office and service in community organizations if they compromise journalistic integrity. u Disclose unavoidable conflicts. u Be vigilant and courageous about holding those with power accountable. u Deny favored treatment to advertisers and special interests and resist their pressure to influence news coverage. u Be wary of sources offering information for favors or money; avoid bidding for news.

u Support the open exchange of views, even views they find repugnant.

Be accounTaBle

u Give voice to the voiceless; official and unofficial sources of information can be

Journalists are accountable to their readers, listeners, viewers and each other.

Journalists should:

equally valid. u Distinguish between advocacy and news reporting. Analysis and commentary

should be labeled and not misrepresent fact or context. u Distinguish news from advertising and shun hybrids that blur the lines between

the two. u Recognize a special obligation to ensure that the public’s business is conducted

in the open and that government records are open to inspection.

u Clarify and explain news coverage and invite dialogue with the public over

journalistic conduct. u Encourage the public to voice grievances against the news media. u Admit mistakes and correct them promptly. u Expose unethical practices of journalists and the news media. u Abide by the same high standards to which they hold others.

The SPJ Code of Ethics is voluntarily embraced by thousands of journalists, regardless of place or platform, and is widely used in newsrooms and classrooms as a guide for ethical behavior. The code is intended not as a set of “rules” but as a resource for ethical decision-making. It is not — nor can it be under the First Amendment — legally enforceable.

The present version of the code was adopted by the 1996 SPJ National Convention, after months of study and debate among the Society’s members. Sigma Delta Chi’s first Code of Ethics was borrowed from the American Society of Newspaper Editors in 1926. In 1973, Sigma Delta Chi wrote its own code, which was revised in 1984, 1987 and 1996.

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PHOTO BY ANONYMOUS

A STEAMY SCANDAL

BY GIDEON GRUDO SIGHING EDITOR

y a s s e c r u o s s g u n o i l m a y e n t Ano as been s ts — SG h r from studen uess powe ou’ll never g and y kind! what VIOLATIONS! mTest the accuracy of information. mIdentify sources. mRecognize that private people have a greater right to control information about themselves than do public officials and others who seek power, influence or attention. m Be vigilant about holding those with power accountable.

UPRESSONLINE.COM

An anonymous source confirms: Student Government has spent several thousand dollars on a hot tub. Their only problem was how to power the thing.

The anonymous source, sitting beside two other anonymous sources who wouldn’t talk, said that the senators brainstormed for several hours before figuring out a way to use electricity from student dorms for their tub and its pleasures.

The anonymous source, who was sitting to the right of the first anonymous source, was in the middle of an online exam last week when his lights and computer turned off suddenly.

“I couldn’t believe it! And I knew exactly who it was and what they did because I saw them! It goes a little bit like this: A bunch of these senators just decided to steal my electricity in

Anonymous SG members are enjoying the fruits of their steamy and scandalous labor. And also the guy up front — he’s not in SG but likes to hang out with them.

Plus, he’s underage and drinking beer.

order to power up their tubs and they succeeded,” said the source when the other anonymous source, the one on the left — no, the one in the […] Anyway, one of them slapped the whistleblower across the face.

“Shut up!” Batholomew said. “Look, the senators are great guys. Since we’re all speaking on condition of anonymity, I’m just going to let you know that there are documents to support everything he said. That’s where you should get your info.”

The UP found the above-mentioned documents and created a detailed history of the incident, complete with dates, names and minutes: [Redacted by Andrew.]

And that’s how Joseph, Bryan, William and Jeremiah were able to rig the dorms. A really anonymous source told us that the senators were using the

recycled hot water to make delicious martinis and potent cocktails, which they would drink while bathing in the misery of the students they exploited.

But the truth came from the actual anonymous source, who said that the meetings for the purchase and proposed maintenance of the hot tub were held behind closed doors. There are rules that govern things like this, so the UP contacted SG to ask them if they had violated these rules or stolen money.

“No, we’re cool,” Hayden said. “We didn’t violate any rules. It’s perfectly all right to buy a hot tub and power it however we want. Not that we did that or anything, but yeah, it’s legal.”

Well, they must be telling the truth.

As far as the UP is concerned, SG is all gravy.

APRIL 19, 2011 9

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R E R E CAUGHT D R U M

SEX-CRAZED

Who exactly is Owsley? The hair is a clue!

PHOTO BY TYLER KROME

GIDEON GRUDO NONE-OF-YOUR-BUSINESS EDITOR

d n a x e s f o ts lo d a h y le Ows murdered lots of owls!

Owsley the Owl was arrested on charges of murder in some degree on April 16.

We think we know why, too.

(Well, we’re pretty sure.) FAU’s mascot has been going around campuses having unprotected sex with (lots of) owls. And it’s been killing them.

It all started Jan. 10, when Owsley the Owl decided he had a new mission: finding a way to replenish the owl population on FAU’s campuses. It was also the day his girlfriend, Owlet, broke up with him. (Owsley’s female counterpart had wanted to stay anonymous for this story, so we told her we wouldn’t print her name – we lied.)

“He kept trying to have unprotected sex with me, but I’m not ready to have babies,” Owlet said. “He would puncture condoms and try to shoot me up with zinc and calcium.” She was referring to supplements that supposedly increase fertility in women. We were going to look into it, but it was

12 APRIL 19, 2011

late that day and we thought it’d be a better idea to go drinking.

It only took Owsley a few days to learn that his position as FAU’s mascot would help him get freaky with owls in their nests. Owsley often had sex with four or five owls a night.

“This was never about love,” Owsley said. “This was about sex, pregnancy, babies and sex.”

Things were going well for Owsley by February – he got 72 owls pregnant – when he started hearing about strange deaths.

“They were dropping like flies, and it was always connected to some infection of their genitals,” he said. He got tested.

The test showed Owsley had owlchlamydia, a disease that’s treatable for humans (or curable, or something), but lethal for owls. This was the first time Owsley learned he was killing owls. Other owls were noticing it, too. Most of them were victims or family of victims and didn’t want to talk to us. We were persistent, often threatening

them with publishing their fake backgrounds and accusing them of various crimes.

“I was like, wait, like, he must know he’s got [owlchlamydia] and that [he’s killing all of these owls],” Oliver the Owl said, under condition of anonymity. “My sister was [completely in love with him] and now she’s dead.”

Once the death toll hit 100, FAU Police discovered a pattern among the victims: All had owlchlamydia, all had had sexual intercourse with Owsley, and all were pregnant at the time of their deaths.

Then the police did some things, talked to some people and asked us what we thought. We told them to arrest him, but wait until our photographer got back from her vacation in Haiti. They complied.

As he was being arrested, Owsley pathetically murmured, “Where’s Owlet? I miss her. I love her.” Although he hasn’t been tried yet, the UP is calling it: Owsley is definitely the wild sex killer.

???

VIOLATIONS! m Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid inadvertent error. Deliberate distortion is never permissible. mAlways question sources’ motives before promising anonymity. Clarify conditions attached to any promise made in exchange for information.

Keep promises. mShow compassion for those who may be affected adversely by news coverage. Use special sensitivity when dealing with children and inexperienced sources or subjects. mBe sensitive when seeking or using interviews or photographs of those affected by tragedy or grief. mBe judicious about naming criminal suspects before the formal filing of charges.

UPRESSONLINE.COM

THE MAHER

PHOTO BY CHRIS PERSAUD

THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO SEE

CHRIS PERSAUD DOUBLE SECRET INVESTIGATOR

y d o b t n e d u t s r u o t n a e h Wh w s e o d t n e d i s e pr g n i k o o l s ’ no one Think you know the REAL student body president? Think again!

Last Thursday, the UP set up hidden cameras around President Maher’s office, and I personally lofted in the air vent above his desk. Check out my timeline for all the sordid details of the day-to-day wheelings and dealings the president does on OUR time in his smoke-filled back room.

08:00 to 08:11

Maher walks in all happiness and sunshine with his staff around him. An aide hands him a cup of coffee and the latest edition of the Wall Street Journal.

“Hey, whose crumpet is that?” Maher asks, pointing at the lump of pastry. “Oh, that’s mine,” Vice President Konecky says. “Sorry, must’ve forgot to finish it yesterday after the synergy triangulation meeting.” He picks up the crumpet and takes a bite.

“It’s still good,” he says in between bites. Looks like our SG second-in-command just broke the five second rule, and the UP got it on tape. You’re welcome, readers.

08:56 to 08:59

Mr. President takes his first bathroom break of the day.

While he’s in his chambers, someone named “Nick” sends him a message on his Facebook account asking, “u there lol? wher r u man?” implying that Maher forgot to tell this Nick person he’d “brb.” I guess SG teaches its types all about laws and statutes, but nothing about proper netiquette.

UPRESSONLINE.COM

Student Body President Ayden Maher picks his nose on YOUR time!

09:11

In a rare journalistic slip-up, I let a sneeze slip out of my nose. A startled Maher jolts up and asks, “Who’s there?”

Hmph. Who, indeed, Mr. Maher? Who, indeed?

10:00

University President Mary Jane Saunders meets with Maher in his office. She starts talking about some sort of federal tax exemption just for student body presidents.

Unfortunately, I got bored listening to the tax jargon and fell asleep. Oh well, better luck next time.

12:05 to14:00

Maher prepares the proper requisition forms for governorelect Ryan Ebanks. Ebanks fills out the proper requisition forms, hands them back to Maher, and leaves. Maher puts the forms in a paper shredder.

14:12

As Maher types on his computer, he pauses, adjusts his tie, and resumes typing.

15:00

A man in an orange jumpsuit, orange hat and sun shades enters the office. “Exterminator,” he says in a plain manner.

Maher nods and leaves as the man sprays a pleasantsmelling gas into the room. I attempt to maintain my wits but black out.

16:55

When I open my eyes, I am in a hospital. The doctor in my room tells me I had inhaled too much chemical gas and nearly died. She says that if President Maher hadn’t come back into his office for a pen, I would have died.

I inquire as to how much I owe the hospital for their care.

“Oh, don’t worry too much about that,” the doctor says, “Ayden Maher said he would pay half the bill with his own salary, since you were left behind in his office.”

Well, there you go, folks. Your student body president has wasted STUDENT MONEY on medical bills totally unrelated to promoting student activities! Pulitzer, please.

Puchferren 2012.

VIOLATIONS! m Avoid undercover or other surreptitious methods of gathering information except when traditional open methods will not yield information vital to the public. Use of such methods should be explained as part of the story. mDistinguish between advocacy and news reporting. Analysis and commentary should be labeled and not misrepresent fact or context.

APRIL 19, 2011 13

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(561) 368-9500

Happy Hour All Nite

Book your Spring Formal or Group Event at Carmen’s Top of the Bridge with Panoramic water views of the Intracoastal Waterway and Atlantic Ocean

www.BocaRatonBridgeHotel.com

Visit us at the

GO GREEK Store for all your Sorority and Fraternity needs!

Only 1/2 mile from FAU 154 NW 20th Street, Boca Raton, FL

For quotes please email GoGreekFAU@gmail.com or call us at (561.367.3210 FACEBOOK US!! “BOCA GREEK STORE” 14 APRIL 19, 2011

NOW OPEN IN BOCA RATON Sliced Fresh Before Your Eyes!

A LaSpada’s Hoagie is a Healthy & Delicious Complete Meal!

Top quality meats, cheese and tons of fresh veggies, on top of real Italian bread baked daily.

“Best Hoagie Sandwich” Highest Rated Restaurant Broward 2010

—City Link 2009

2240 NW 19th Street Boca Raton, FL 33431

561.393.1434

Open Mon-Sat, 10am to 8pm • Sunday, 11am to 8pm (10am on game days) UPRESSONLINE.COM

COLLEGIATE CONFIDENCE

FAU is the Sunshine State’s shining beacon BRIANA BRAMM / EDITOR OF AWESOME What could possibly make FAU better? The answer: nothing. The South Florida home of the burrowing owl has reached collegiate perfection in everything it does.

“I honestly can’t think of a single thing that would make FAU a better school, everything is top-notch,” said Fullac Raap, the dean of everything. “It’s a great place to get an education. Everyone knows an FAU degree will pretty much guarantee you a job when you graduate.”

The UP compiled the list below, highlighting the top reasons why students at FAU just love this place.

Perfect parking

Sue Chaliar cruises into the FAU Boca campus and easily parks her BMW right in front of her classroom, walking a mere five feet to school. A junior sociology major, Chaliar is just one of the many students who enjoy FAU’s easy-breezy parking.

“I always have a million things on my mind, and with all this stress, it’s great not to have to worry about where to

park,” Chaliar said.

Parking is easily one of FAU’s crowning achievements in the development of the campus, with hundreds of spaces not only available, but also extremely conveniently located. And as the new stadium goes up and brings in more traffic on campus, the parking can only get better. If that’s even possible.

Rapid registration

12:01 a.m. strikes on the morning of registration, and where are FAU students?

They’re either out partying or tucked soundly in their beds, because FAU registration is a breeze.

While some schools experience server crashes for hours at a time, FAU has so many classes to pick from, they never fill every class. This takes the pressure off students from being glued to the computer screen at the exact moment registration opens.

“I always get all my classes, no matter when I register,” said a student.

“Sometimes I wait until the first day of classes to pick a schedule, and I’m still graduating on time.”

Making mad money

It’s a well known fact that all college students have money to burn, and FAU students want to give back to the university they love.

College students are petitioning the president to raise tuition and textbook costs so FAU can bring in more money as a school.

“I don’t need all this excess money,” said Stu F. Fit, the FAU student money

collector guy. “I’d way rather pour it back into my school.”

Across campus, students have complained that they don’t pay enough for tuition or textbooks. And while, like most heads of corporations and businesses, she is reluctant to take money from common students, President Saunders has agreed to consider raising the prices.

VIOLATIONS! m Test the accuracy of information from all sources. m Be vigilant and courageous about holding those with power accountable. m Distinguish between advocacy and news reporting. m Never distort the content of news photos.

FAU!

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PHOTO BY LORENZO PONCE DE LEON

I just my n o % 5 1 saved by going to tuition

APRIL 19, 2011 15

My friends wanted to shop at the Mall, SO I said OK, as long as it’s International Jewelers Exchange

“The Jewelry Mall”

international

JEWELERS EXCHANGE Boca Raton - 8221 Glades Rd 1 block west of the turnpike Open Tuesday thru Saturday 10am-5:30pm

www.intljewelers.com 16 APRIL 19, 2011

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620-SUBS

OUR NAME IS OUR NUMBER

FREE DRINKS for FAU Students OFFICIAL SPONSOR of FAU SPORTS $5 Lunch Combo Specials

805 North Federal Hwy. Hours: Mon-Fri 10:30am-5pm Sat 11am-3pm

Clean Car Express Boca Raton's Newest Most Advanced Car Wash

3975 N Federal Hwy. On the SW corner of Spanish River Blvd. next to BP station

your n i Bring rd a C l O w iscounts for D

$5 Express Wash • • • •

Soft Cloth Wash Power Dry Hand Finish Wheel Clean

$15 "Boca's Favorite" Wash

$2 off for FAU students • • • • • • • •

Soft Cloth Wash Power Dry, Hand Finish Wheel Clean, Tire Shine Under-body Wash Clear Coat Sealant Tri Color Conditioner Vacuum, Windows RAIN-X

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Hand W ONLY ax $30

Instructor for LSAT

Scott J. Tepper Attorney/Instructor 561-255-3850

Lsattutor.webs.com/

, ound Comp y, Cla axing d n a W

(561 )7 Open 50-2011 7D a We ays 8am- ek 6pm PART/FULL TIME HELP WANTED Stop by for info

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Tax + JD DServices Z 40E E 10 dents u FRE t AU S for F off 20% vices r se d any wl Car O with

ITS TAX TIME

2290 NW 2nd Ave Suite 9 Boca Raton, FL 33431 Around the corner from Campus (561) 372-6538 jddtaxservices@gmail.com

u Individuals tax returns u1040EZ u1040A u1040 u Small business tax returns u Notary Public on staff

APRIL 19, 2011 17

A R G ALYSSA CUTTER SUPREME RULER OF THE UNETHICAL PRESS

VIOLATIONS! m Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid inadvertent error. Deliberate distortion is never permissible. m Never distort the content of news photos or video. Image enhancement for technical clarity is always permissible. Label montages and photo illustrations. mAvoid stereotyping by race, gender, age, religion, ethnicity, geography, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance or social status. mDiligently seek out subjects of news stories to give them the opportunity to respond to allegations of wrongdoing. mIdentify sources whenever feasible.

The public is entitled to as much information as possible on sources’ reliability

18 APRIL 19, 2011

BEFORE BY STEPHANIE COLAIANNI / AFTER BY PHAEDRA BLAIZE

R U O A Y T M O D N N

While no one really knows if President Saunders has a mean enough streak to be the Hulk, this picture has recently been circulated at FAU.

BEFORE FAU President Saunders may not be the kind old lady we thought!

A cleaning crew heads up to the FAU President’s office suites, making sure no one is still in the building. So what? It’s their job to clean up trash, right?

Right. But this is more than just the average clean-up job. The crew is there to put back together a room that looks like it’s been hit by a tornado. They do this every night.

“It happens all the time. I’m not even surprised anymore to see the mess and destruction,” said one of the cleaning crew. “Though it’s really strange and we don’t know what causes it.”

There have been other equally baffling events that have the staff in President Mary Jane Saunders’ offices confused and a bit nervous. Items like the piece of a leather shoe found last week under the president’s desk, and half of a suit jacket sleeve whirling around on a ceiling fan found the week before have been reported by aides.

AFTER “It’s like there’s an explosion of clothing, but we only have the leftover pieces not picked up,” said an aide. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that someone got to be too big for their clothes all of a sudden and then left in a hurry.”

According to some presidential staff, there have been several times President Saunders has been in her office going over university policies and documents, when suddenly a loud ripping sound and groans were heard.

When the aides rushed in, the president was no longer there, and only a few shreds of paper remained on her desk.

“We just assume that she got frustrated with what she was working on, and went outside to get some air.”

However, some are not so sure. There have been reports of a large green figure hiding on campus. This was thought to be Green Mann playing pranks, but others think it may be something more sinister.

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BECOME THE TRADITION!

INNOVATION VILLAGE All single rooms with full-size beds

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For more information, contact FAU Housing at 561-297-2880 E-mail: housing@fau.edu Website: www.fau.edu/housing Follow us on Facebook: FAU Housing â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Boca Raton UPRESSONLINE.COM

APRIL 19, 2011 19

CONDO FOR SALE $89,900

875 NW 13th St. 3 Walking distance from FAU 3 2 Bedrooms and 2 Bathrooms 3 New wood floors 3 Brand new kitchen 3 Huge walk-in closet 3 975 sq. feet 3 2 parking spaces Call Pam for more information (561)-866-3456

Also Rent availab le as al $1 ,400 /Mon th

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WE DELIVER To FAU Students

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WALK OR BIKE TO CAMPUS BICYCLE CLUB OF BOCA RATON Newly renovated luxury apartments within walking distance to FAU’s Boca Campus. 1, 2 and 3 bedroom models are available for Spring or Fall 2011. Features new stainless steel appliances and ceramic tile throughout.

• FREE Wi-Fi • FREE Basic cable • FREE Water • Pool • Ask about our Roommate Program Visit the Leasing Office: 1908 NW 4 Ave. Rental office Ste 112 Just around corner from campus 561-368-5555

ASK ABOUT OUR OTHER PROPERTIES ADJACENT TO FAU - Bicycle Club Apartments C - Casa Del Rio O - Oaks of Boca B - Boca Hacienda V - Vista Town Home and more...

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Breast Augmentation only $3950.00 Offer valid till May 30

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Martin Luther King Jr., the man behind the inspiration of many.

PHOTO BY SERGIO N. CANDIDO

SUMMER IS COMING

R E D A E L L A N IO T A AN INSPIR

This April 4 marked 43 years since Martin Luther King Jr., the most prominent advocate for African American civil rights during the 1960s, was assassinated by a bullet that entered through his right cheek, smashing his jaw, while he was on the balcony of a Tennessee hotel.

His work to end racial segregation and discrimination through peaceful means has inspired me to write a short piece about my interpretation of King’s feelings and dreams during his lifetime: I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of “interposition” and “nullification” — one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; “and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.”

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

VIOLATIONS! m Never plagiarize. m Show good taste. Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity.

APRIL 19, 2011 21

PHOTOS BY CHRISTINE CAPOZZIELLO

MARK GIBSON REPORTER OF EXCELLENCE

Reporter Mark Gibson shows off his free Toyota Corolla. He loves it to death.

VIOLATIONS! mAvoid conflicts of interest, real or perceived. mDistinguish news from advertising and shun hybrids that blur the lines between the two.

22 APRIL 19, 2011

Rec che alle ap d C at l oro oca llas l ca dir r lo t t!!!

STUCK ON AWESOME As college students, our lives are constantly on the go. In the midst of our busy schedules, it’s important to have a reliable car that can help us accelerate through life.

Luckily, Krazy Krome’s I-Can’tBelieve-It’s-Not-a-New-Car Lot has the answer we need. The lot specializes in selling the recalled 2010 Toyota Corolla.

Because these cars were recalled, the prices have never been lower.

“Am I worried about the fact that these cars may or may not have been properly fixed?” said Tyronious “Krazy” Krome, owner of the car lot. “Answer: no.”

Information on whether or not the gas pedal problem has been resolved in the vehicles is a gray area. Sources at Toyota of America neglected to comment on the situation, as we did not try to get in contact with them.

Krome gives all his customers a 100-percent guarantee that they will be stuck to their new car and never want to stop for anything.

“This is the finest hunk of metal I’ve ever had the misfortune of selling,” said Krome. “Sales are literally through the wall with this car.”

Luckily, Krome is also the current

web editor of the UP and was kind enough to give his entire staff their very own Corolla. After driving it around for about a week now, no problems have arisen.

“By far the best car I’ve ever owned,” said UP Reporter of Excellence Mark Gibson, as he happily zipped through town.

I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-a-New-Car Lot is located on Glades and Dixie, just east of FAU. If you drop by and show your student ID, you will receive the buy-one-get-one-free special which is happening now through the summer.

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APRIL 19, 2011 23

FAU Faculty and Students . . .

THIS SUNDAY, APRIL 24 AT 10:30AM

FUN! y l l a u t c a that ’s h c r u h C | g achin e t l a c i t c a r sic | P u m ’ n i k c o FAU ss | R Exit 45 Casual dre Glades Rd. MEETS HERE

DEAR FAU FACULTY AND STUDENTS:

NELSON SEARCY

Lead Pastor, The Journey NS@BocaJourney.com

My name is Nelson Searcy and I am the Pastor of a Brand New Church in Boca Raton called The Journey.

It is my pleasure to invite you to EASTER AT THE JOURNEY this Sunday, April 24 @ 10:30am.

The Journey is not your typical church... You will have a great opportunity to meet people like you, have a genuinely fun and meaningful time at church and grow spiritually in your life.

Don't worry, you will find a welcoming environment and the dress is casual, so come as you are.

The teaching will be relevant to your life, the music will be rockin', and your kids will have a fun learning experience at Journey Kidz. I hope to see you for EASTER AT THE JOURNEY this Sunday, April 24. I look forward to seeing you there!

P.S. I would love to send you a Free Gift. Go to www.BocaJourney.com to find out how to receive a free copy of the New York Times best-seller The Purpose Driven Life.

NEW TEACHING SERIES BEGINS ON EASTER SUNDAY, APRIL 24 Get Unstuck in Your...

Relationship with God • Career Friendships • Finances • and more!

A Free Book For You!

Everyone who attends this Sunday, April 24 will receive a free copy of Pastor Nelson Searcy's brand new book, "Unshakable" 24 APRIL 19, 2011

JOURNEY KIDZ:

The Best Hour of Your Child’s Week For 5th Grade and Under

Boca Raton NW 15th Ave. Community BOCA 95 High School RATON W. Palmetto Park Rd. Deerfield Beach

Easter at the Journey will be held at:

BOCA RATON COMMUNITY HIGH SCHOOL

The Kathryn Lindgren Theater 1501 NW 15th Ct., Boca Raton, FL (just across from FAU - Glades @ I-95)

BOCAJOURNEY.COM Enter to Win a FREE Royal Caribbean Cruise

($500 Value) during the Easter Service this Sunday, April 24

The Journey Church

An Exciting New Church for You

www.BOCAJOURNEY.com UPRESSONLINE.COM