Fall 2021 Advocate

ADVOCATE Upper New York

Volume 13 Issue 2

A publication of the Upper New York Conference of The United Methodist Church

Mentors: paving the path into ministry

Upper New York

ADVOCATE

Mentors: paving the path into ministry

Volume 13 Issue 2

“ ” “...The relationship between a mentor and mentee cannot be confined to a one-sided purpose. The mentoring relationship is a more mutual process to grow in faith together.”

Volume 13 Issue 2

ADVOCATE Upper New

tion A publica

nferen York Co per New of the Up

York

United ce of The

Methodist

Church

ministry path into ving the a p : rs to Men

On the cover

Mentors through candidacy

The ordination process can be overwhelming.

That’s when mentors can really step in to help.

They’ve been through the process and know what’s required. Read stories of grattitude and experience as these Upper New York pastors navigated through ordination with help from their mentors on page 14.

All photos appearing in the Advocate, a publication of the Upper New York Conference, have been printed with permission.

Follow us online: www.unyumc.org, www.facebook.com/uppernewyork, www.twitter.com/uppernewyork, www.instagram.com/uppernewyork 2 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

inside

What’s

06

10 24 30 36

Collaborating in UNY

Over the past few years several leaders have been engaged in a journey to move from isolation to collaboration. Learn about how the Leadership Incubators help them do so.

Alongside one another

The intent of spiritual direction is to nurture and support your relationship with God as you seek to hear and discern God’s deep desire for your life. Learn the similairities of sprititual direction and mentorship.

Going beyond

The Rev. Harold Wheat has been a strong mentor for many.

One of his recent mentees is the Rev. Fernando Matsimbe, a Conference evangelist in Africa. Learn how he attributes much of his commitment to Rev. Wheat’s mentoring.

As a mentor

Rhonda Chester knows that a major part of her role is to be an available source of encouragement and direction to students at Syracuse University’s Hendricks Chapel. Read more about her experience as a mentor.

Finding and becoming a mentor

A mentor can help you explore your strengths and weaknesses, establish personal and ministerial goals, and so much more. Here are some steps you can take if you think you might benefit from having a mentor.

Office: 7481 Henry Clay Blvd., Liverpool, NY 13088. Telephone: (855) 424-7878. The Upper New York United Methodist Advocate is a publication of the Upper New York Conference of The United Methodist Church, whose mission is to be God’s love with all our neighbors in all places. It is published two times a year. Materials in the Advocate may not be reproduced unless the item is accompanied by a copyright notation. Postmaster: send address changes to Upper New York United Methodist Advocate, 7481 Henry Clay Blvd., Liverpool, NY 13088. We reserve the right to edit or decline any items submitted for publication.

unyumc.org 3

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

(Ecclesiastes 4.9-10)

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27.17) “I myself am convinced, my brothers and sisters, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with knowledge and competent to instruct one another.”

(Romans 15.14)

We were created for partnership partnership with God and one another. The living out of our spiritual life and calling is never meant to be done alone, but together with a dependence upon the Holy Spirit and a deep connection with others who, like us, are pursuing a deep relationship with God. We all need spiritual mentors in our lives, and we all have an opportunity to be a spiritual mentor to others. Mentoring is not just sharing the knowledge of God with others, but rather it is demonstrating, teaching, and encouraging others to love and serve God passionately.

Throughout Scripture we see the examples of women and men coming alongside each other, to live life together, encourage spiritual growth, and share insights gathered

4 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

from experiences filled with “strength” and “weakness”; “success” and “failure.” We see the eternal impact as individuals cheered on the journey of others and provided accountability for the commitments they have made and desires they hold to live and serve the way of faith in Jesus Christ.

An article on “The Biblical Basis of Mentoring” highlights just a few of the mentoring relationships we find in the Bible: • Jethro, Moses' father-in-law, acted as a mentor after observing Moses trying to solve all the disputes of the Israelites.

• Moses began to mentor Joshua. Years later, God chose Joshua to be the next leader of the Israelites because he had Moses' spirit and had been mentored for the leadership position.

• Elisha was prepared for his prophetic ministry through his close relationship with the prophet Elijah. When Elijah was taken up into heaven, his mantel fell on Elisha and he received a double portion of his mentor's spirit.

• The Book of Ruth portrays Naomi as a mentor to Ruth, her Moabite daughter-inlaw. Ruth had such a strong relationship with Naomi that she refused to leave her for any reason. Naomi helped Ruth understand the laws and customs of the Israelites.

• Luke tells us that Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, mentored Mary after she learned she was to be the mother of Jesus. Elizabeth, being filled with the Holy Spirit, reaffirmed the work of God in Mary's life.

• Barnabas was a mentor to Paul when he was a new Christian. Later they were sent as missionaries into Cyprus. The apostle Paul became a great spiritual leader and authored 14 books of the New Testament.

• Paul was a mentor to Timothy and described the young man as being "likeminded" with him in his commitment to serving God. Their relationship was so strong that Paul called it a father-son relationship

• And of course, we have the example of Jesus, who mentored 12 disciples for three years, teaching them to love God and equipping them to lead a movement that would take the Gospel into all the world.

Throughout my life, God has blessed me, by placing individuals in my life who were willing to invest in me, see the potential in me, and show me how to love and serve Jesus Christ with passion. My home church just recently celebrated their 150th anniversary and I had the opportunity to share a video greeting. These are a few of the words I shared:

“The people of St. John’s invested in me - countless men and women lived in front of me a life of loving and serving God in so many different ways and invited me to do the same . . . Thank you for showing me the way to follow Christ, for giving me opportunities to grow in my faith and the freedom to live out the call God has placed upon my life. I stand on the foundation you helped God build.”

My parents, grandparents, Sunday school teachers, youth group leaders, pastors, coaches, teachers, professors, friends, and colleagues were used by God in ways I cannot even fully identify – they have been and continue to be my mentors in faith.

VISIT US ON THE WEB

Spiritual mentors show us how to go deep, wide, long, and high as followers of Jesus Christ. They live in front of us a passion for falling deeper in love with God. Mentors help us see God’s unique calling for our lives and how to trust and depend upon all that the Spirit of God has equipped us for. Mentors give away what God has given to them.

Mentors celebrate our victories and share their mistakes, so we don’t have to make them. The role of mentor is not a position that interrupts our lives, but rather a relationship that permeates our spirit and invites us to the full journey God created us for. A mentor never points us to themselves or their way, but rather to the fullness of God and to the way of following Jesus Christ!

Mentoring is a part of almost every area of our lives. We receive mentoring and mentor others in all kinds of situations, for all kinds of skills and tasks. It is important work, but it’s temporal. What investment are we making in a mentoring that has eternal consequences?

Who is your spiritual mentor? Who has God placed in your life to walk alongside of you as you go deeper in your pursuit of God? Make an investment - invite them to share your journey!

Who are you serving as a spiritual mentor to? How might God use your spiritual journey and life experiences to raise up and encourage another? Make an investment – be willing to share with another!

Let’s become a Church filled with deep relationships that move us to become a people who love and serve God with passion!

A Church full of people willing to share the joy of following Jesus together!

WWW.UNYUMC.ORG unyumc.org 5

From isolation ministry to

collaboration in UNY

By The Rev. Dr. Aaron Bouwens, Director of Vital Congregations

6 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

I

t has been said being a servant who is leading in the church is lonely work. Often there is a hesitation to reach out to fellow leaders within the congregation and in neighboring congregations.

This isolation Bouwens breeds burnout and frustration with ministry. Over the past few years several leaders have been engaged in a journey to move from isolation to collaboration. The Upper New York Conference has been inviting people to participate in Leadership Incubators.

Focused on pastoral leaders, the Incubator groups invited together people from across the Conference to love, learn, and lead together so that an environment of transformation can blossom in local congregations.

Moving from isolation to generative ministry is best done through an intentional process whereby a team supports each other through the guidance of a coach. The Leadership Incubators journey through a 10-month process of coaching and mentoring built upon clear principles and processes equipping pastoral leaders to develop teambased, generative ministry in their local congregations. At the core of the process is emerging from isolation by building a team, overcoming distractions through developing clear action plans, and moving out of the place of frustration into a place of ministry fruitfulness.

Continued on page 8.

unyumc.org 7

Each Incubator has a coach to guide the process, however the real strength is the peer interaction with the guidance and support of the coach. An environment for transformation is created where trust is high, vulnerability runs deep, and experimentation begins to flourish. Instead of stewing in isolation when struggles show up, leaders have a community of peers to seek care, support, and encouragement to make needed adjustments.

To date, nearly 50 pastoral leaders have engaged in an Incubator group, and plans are in the works for more pastors and laity to engage in what we are calling Area Teams. These will be teams of leaders from a geographic area who will meet together and walk through an intentional process to discern how God might be inviting the congregations to work together for the sake of making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world. Rather than each individual 8 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

congregation attempting this work in isolation and possibly feeling frustrated, the invitation will be to collaborate and explore God’s invitation to generative ministry. Area Teams will follow the model of having a trained Facilitator to guide the process so that peer interaction will create an environment for loving, learning, and leading into the next faithful steps.

Leadership Incubators and Area Teams are both designed to move out of the lonely world of solo heroic leadership and toward an environment of support and encouragement. Coaches and Facilitators will be able to help resist the pull toward isolation ministry. Without the guidance, it is highly likely movement toward generative ministry would be lost and isolation would set in once again. More important than the work of coaches and facilitators, teams of leaders, regionally and locally, will be established to foster the opportunity of leading together.

Who helps leaders

grow?

By Chris Holmes Coach Approach Skills Training, and Holmes Coaching

Role Coach

Partner

Authority Client

Skills Deep Listening, Powerful Questions, Goal Setting, Accountability

Desired Result Fulfillment, SelfDiscovery, Forward action toward goals, Effectiveness

Advisor Expert

Consultant

Assessment, Advice, Restructure, Supervision

To use consultant’s advice, and strategies for success

Mentor

Advisor Teacher

Mentor

Listen, Advice, Model

Learning skills and methods of success from mentor

Trainer

Teacher Expert

Trainer

Advice, Give Info, Show steps

Increase ability and effectiveness

Counselor

Listener Healer

Counselor

Listening, Probing, Feedback, Question

Healing and Life Wholeness

Spiritual Director

Faith Partner

Spiritual Director

Presence, Listen, Pray, Study, Structure

Closer connection with self, others and God.

Consultant

unyumc.org 9

How spiritual direction is like mentoring By the Rev. Nancy Dibelius, Deacon

T

he spiritual practice known as spiritual direction is similar to mentoring.

A spiritual director or companion is someone who walks alongside another on their faith journey. They listen to the stories of others and Dibelius pay attention to the ways in which God weaves in and out of their story; they help the other person notice God’s presence, notice what God might be inviting them into. The traditional definition of a mentor is “an experienced and trusted advisor;” in the case of spiritual direction, the mentor is God and the spiritual director is the one who walks alongside you and God and points you to where God is in your story; to help you see God when the things of this place cloud your vision or seek to move your attention away from God. A spiritual director will listen to your story focusing on your faith tradition, who God is for you at this moment, what are your experiences of God, what do they notice about how you have responded to God, do they observe some movement by God that you may not, how are you responding to this new movement, is there perhaps a parallel in scripture that might guide you, is there a spiritual discipline or practice that might help you. The intent of spiritual direction is to nurture and support your relationship with God as you seek to hear and discern God’s deep desire for your life; as you allow God to be your mentor.

10 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

A spiritual director can walk with you as you seek to move closer to God, as you seek to recognize and discern God’s invitation for your life and ministry, as you seek to discern your unique giftedness and how God invites you to use that giftedness. As an objective observer, they are often able to see things that you cannot, or choose not to.

I would like to share a quote with you about why you might choose to engage with a spiritual director:

“We need soul friends, whether gentle and welcoming like most spiritual directors, or direct and prophetic like Jeremiah. We need soul friends who can walk beside us shoulder to shoulder, meandering with us through life the way friends meander through a park. We need soul friends whose conversations with us have the potential to become mirrors to our souls...We need friends who can help us discover the grace to loosen our grip so that we might learn to receive.”1

A more contemporary understanding of a mentor is “someone who guides another by building trust and modeling positive behaviors;” in this context a spiritual director can function as a mentor. A spiritual director can share stories (both scriptural and contemporary) that will serve to elucidate and illuminate a deeper awareness of God and God’s invitation as experienced by others.

God’s invitation to each of us is unique and each of us has been uniquely gifted to live fully into that invitation.

I am aware that there are many things that I can do, but perhaps they are not all things that God invites me to do; when I live from my sense of call and giftedness, I am most fully that person God created me to be; imago Dei. A spiritual director can help you discern God’s continuing and ever unfolding invitation for your life; too often I find individuals who heard God’s call once in their life but then failed to continue to be discerning about God’s continuing call on 1

their life. There is a sense of an overarching call(vocare) but how that unfolds over time requires continual listening to the still small voice of God and discerning God’s invitation for this day. In his book, Listening to Life, Parker Palmer talks about the importance of listening, listening for the voice of God (he points out that the word vocation comes from the Latin word for voice; vocation is a calling). It is not a single call that comes once in a lifetime, but a calling, a continual voice that seeks for us to listen. I have worked with an individual who is at a transition time in her life; when I asked what she thought God’s invitation might be going forward, the response was; this is what God called me to once before in my life; I invited her to listen for God’s invitation for her life today… in this time and place, for “such a time as this.” The idea that God’s invitation might be different today than it was once before was disconcerting to her. I suggested that perhaps God’s larger vision for her life had not changed but the particular incarnation of that vision for this day required ongoing listening and discernment.

A spiritual director can also help you discern your giftedness; “to each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good” (I Corinthians 12:7). Some individuals embrace and live into their giftedness innately, but for many, they need someone to help them recognize and acknowledge the gifts that the Spirit has given. One individual that I worked with decided to explore her spiritual gifts; when she discovered her top gift, she was a little disappointed. She said to me “that’s not a gift, that’s just what I do.”

Here was a person who innately lived into her giftedness but didn’t understand it in that context. When we explored it more fully, she not only embraced it as a gift, but even lived into it differently. Now that she saw “this thing that I do” as a gift from God, she lived into with a greater sense of God’s presence; she fully embraced the gift.

Christian Century, L. Roger Owens, Reflections on the Lectionary, August 21, 2013, pg. 21. unyumc.org 11

Thanking mentors across UNY For all of the mentors who have helped us grow, we’d like to share our deepest gratitude.

Thank you.

I am the District Lay Leader for the Northern Flow District. It has been my pleasure to have worked closely with District Superintendent, the Rev. Michael Weeden, for the last few years.

Mike has worked patiently with me in my role. He has also become one of my dear friends.

In April, 2021 Rev. Weeden asked me to consider being the Worship Leader working towards a Certified Lay Minister for Lowville UMC. He believed in me when I couldn't. He worked with me, prepared me, and provides continued support to me if needed. He saw something that I didn't and couldn't see. I am now the Worship Leader at Lowville UMC and I love it and truly feel God's direction in my life. I enjoy it so much and I owe a lot of that to Mike who taught me how to look beyond myself, to look for and use my gifts, and to allow God to use me beyond my comfort zone. Thank you Rev. Weeden, I look forward to this journey with my congregation under your leadership.

Brenda Shelmidine Lowville UMC

My mentor, the Rev. Dan Corretore, provided the encouragement and the glue to my pastoring. I have reached out so many times for questions, support, guidance, and an uplifting reply to help me face my many challenges. And I look forward to our meetings— so I always have someone who understands my joys, my sorrows, and my struggles. God certainly blessed me!

Judy Selover Pastor at Port Byron UMC

I am privileged to have three remarkable women in my life to hold me accountable, share their wisdom, and offer a shoulder to lean on.

• District Superintendent Vonda Fossitt challenges me to know who I am and to handle my business with grace and valor.

• Mary Martin, my mentor, encourages me to be honest with myself and reminds me that it's okay not to be okay.

• District Superintendent Nola Anderson offers empathy and understanding in a calming silence and mirrors the value of commitment.

I have blossomed spiritually, personally, and professionally because of their guidance. I am thankful for the gift of mentorship.

Pastor Mia Richardson Avon United Methodist Church

12 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

The Rev. Lester Schaff was my mentor in the days before there were official mentors. He accomplished this task by being the complete Methodist clergyman. He took the pastoral aspect of his ministry very seriously, playing a vital part in the lives of those under his care. He was a fine preacher with an idiosyncratic style that was impossible to be copied… only admired. A graduate of Union Theological Seminary who studied under such men as Reinhold Niebuhr, Lester prized scholarship, and brought his well-developed mind to bear in all aspects of his ministry.

The evidence of his spirituality was in the kind of person he was and the life that he led. Twice a District Superintendent, and a perennial delegate to General and Jurisdictional Conferences, Lester knew Methodism inside and out. Broad in outlook and charitable in judgments, he led other clergy with a winsome good humor that brought out the best in them. Perhaps, most of all for many of us who were young when he was in his prime, he was approachable. When I was dealing with a rough spot or needed to make a life-changing decision, I sometimes meet with or call Lester, and was always the better for it. What a wonderful mentor and friend Lester Schaff was!

Gordon W. Knapp

Throughout the years of my life, I’ve had different men and women influence me and help me to grow. Most recently, I’ve been mentored by two women, strong in their faith and strong in their sense of self. These women helped me to navigate through the candidacy process, discovering at least a part of the woman God means for me to be.

They listened and guided so that I could come to see the revelations God opened for my pleasure and growth. They travelled with me through times of abundant fruitfulness and times of drought, times of joy and times of grief and transition all with the purpose of finding God. Thank you, Rev Marilyn Baissa and Rev Jane Sautter for helping me see how God was working in and through me in that season of life, preparing a solid foundation for the future God is leading me toward.

Rev. Pat Hubman New Beginnings UMC Elmira NY

Some might think that a kick of your foot under the table would not be indicative of a good mentor, but in my case Judy Adams (formerly Wanck) was the perfect mentor for me! There were times in dCOM meetings when I needed to be slowed down and that subtle touch let me know I was on thin ice!

Judy was frank, honest, and open with me, which made it easy for me to be willing to listen to her.

She also had an infectious smile and overflowed with competence and joy! Even when I was being “taught,” it was done with humor and humility. I am sad that she is no longer in the area, but forever grateful that she was a part of my calling - her call to mentor made my call to ministry a rich blessing!

Thank you, Judy!

Pastor Donna Taylor Martin Auburn UMC

unyumc.org 13

Mentors through candidacy

The role of mentor in the

spiritual journey

In honor of my mentor, Rev. Robert Kolvik-Campbell By the Rev. Dr. Sung Ah Choi, Pastor, Marcellus UMC

T

he Rev. Bob Kolvik-Campbell was my mentor during my ordination. He has also been an essential part of my spiritual journey as a pastor. Pastor Bob was my first senior pastor at my first United Methodist home church in the U.S.A. By profession of faith, my husband and I became United Methodists at Calvary UMC in Latham in 2013, where Pastor Bob was serving as a senior pastor. My daughter was baptized by Pastor Bob at Calvary UMC when she was six weeks old. Pastor Bob and I are now colleagues in the ministry of Christ in Upper New York, but to me, he will be my Pastor Bob forever.

When I first met him in 2013, I had a strong sense of call to the ministry of Christ, but I did not know where to begin and what to do even after graduation from a Methodist denomination-based seminary. It was not easy for an international student to settle 14 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

down in a local Methodist church in a new local community. I was always a stranger in all communities where I lived in New Jersey for seven years. Finding a student-pastor internship opportunity at a local United Methodist church was challenging to a female international student with no previous UMC background or Korean Methodist school background. Five years passed after my M.Div. studies. Although I knew and trusted that God would lead me to the right place and time, I sometimes had moments of doubt and frustration regarding my call to Christian ministry.

I met Pastor Bob at Calvary UMC in Latham. I introduced myself to him and told him that I studied at Drew theological school and wanted to become a United Methodist clergy and a missionary. Since I talked to him, every step for ordination in the Upper New York Annual Conference was never stopped or disrupted. When I introduced myself to him, he listened to me and heard my desire for Christian ministry.

He never doubted my call. He trusted me.

He introduced me to the chairperson of the Albany District Committee immediately. I was finally connected with the right pastor, the right home church, and the right organization to move forward with my vision.

Through Pastor Bob, I learned that good mentors listen to their mentees and accept them as they are and trust their calls from Christ. He welcomed a Korean female international student as a person with a call from God. He never saw or judged me through racial prejudice. Instead, he helped me to move on to follow all the necessary steps to reach my goal. Unfortunately, I have seen and realized that not all [white] clergy persons are willing to share their privilege with foreign pastors of color. If he saw me through a lens of racial discrimination and white privilege, my journey for ordination could have been much longer or different.

time, I doubted my call. However, when the time was up, God guided me to the right person and the right home church to begin a new journey in a new community. I believe in God’s perfect time and divine intervention through God-given relationships. After being commissioned in 2017, Pastor Bob officially became my mentor for the provisional elder period. When I had questions about ministries during my provisional elder period, he was the one I called and asked the questions without hesitation. Whenever I shared conflicts or any concerns with him, he offered his best wisdom to me.

Pastor Bob indeed demonstrated the significance of Christian mentoring to me. No one can grow alone. We all need someone willing to walk with us and help us find a direction to move on for our spiritual growth.

I pray that the Lord would continue to bring my Paul figures to me throughout my journey Pastor Bob is full of knowledge and so that I will learn from them as Timothy did experience in the ordination and candidacy from Paul. I hope that I, too, would be a good process. He has served on the Board of Ordained Ministry for many years in the UNY mentor like Paul to Timothy and empower my Annual Conference. I waited for God’s perfect Timothies to love, serve, and lead Christ’s timing. Waiting was not easy; from time to church and people.

unyumc.org 15

Mentors through candidacy

Mentors through the

ordination

process By the Rev. Brian Lothridge, Deacon

T

he deacon’s stole was placed upon me in June by Upper New York Area Resident Bishop, Mark J. Webb. I was ordained, blessed, and sent out to do the ministry for which God had called me.

It was a profound moment. I had arrived at a major waypoint on my vocational journey.

I didn’t get there on my own, however. I had great mentors to guide me along the way.

I didn’t get to ordination alone

Ordination can be a daunting process.

Mentors guide you through it. They’ve been through the process, know the requirements, and have dedicated part of their ministry to helping people get ordained.

The ordination process takes years.

There's a discernment of a call to ministry, an affirmation by the Church, a few years of seminary, a lot of paperwork, showing your effectiveness in ministry, and hours of interviews with the Board of Ordained Ministry. The process is not for the faint of heart.

I had two official mentors through the ordination process. The Rev. Bill Allen helped me to discern a call to ministry and 16 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

patiently guided me as I started seminary, became a certified candidate, began leading my first church, and was commissioned for provisional ministry.

The Rev. Bob Kolvik-Campbell was the mentor who journeyed with me during my provisional period, helped me to clarify my call to ordained ministry, and stood with me as I was ordained.

I owe both pastors a great deal of gratitude for their wisdom, compassion, and friendship.

Ups and downs - mentors are there

The path to ordination can be a long and winding road. I enjoyed some parts of the journey, questioned my sanity at other points, and even considered quitting once or twice.

Bill and Bob are both excellent counselors.

They listened to my doubts, fears, and questions and helped me to think through problems. They reminded me that I wasn’t crazy.

Bill and Bob were also there during difficult times for me and my family. They showed me great care and grace. They became big parts of my support system. I am happy to not simply call them colleagues in ministry but friends.

the interviews. They coached me during interview breaks and helped me to feel comfortable during the stressful interview process. I couldn’t imagine doing this on my own.

Ready for interviews

Ministry can feel isolating. I would not have been ordained without the help of my mentors. Bill and Bob reminded me that I am not on my own. They helped me when I was stuck in the process. They coached me when I had difficulties in ministry. They also challenged me and helped me to grow in my faith.

Interviewing with the Board of Ordained Ministry was intimidating. It began as I started checking off the list of requirements, including writing answers to the theological questions. It’s hard work. I wanted my answers to be clear, concise, to demonstrate my ability to think and reflect theologically.

I knew my work would be evaluated and be referenced in my interviews.

Bill and Bob read through my papers ahead of time and gave me constructive criticism that made my work better. They also helped me to think through interview questions and assessed my readiness for the interviews. Their guidance helped build my confidence and prepared me well for the interviews.

My mentors were also companions during the interviews. Their support was felt even though they were not allowed to speak during

Ministry is not a solo affair

I hope I have in some way helped Bill and Bob in their own journeys. As Proverbs 27:17 reminds us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” My mentors have made me a better pastor and a better follower of Jesus.

I encourage all who are mentors to ministry candidates: your work makes a difference! You are helping to build leaders who will carry the Church into the future. Your mentoring ministry is a great response to our call to spread the good news of Jesus Christ.

Thank you for your work. You are a blessing.

unyumc.org 17

Mentors through candidacy

The Rev. Paul Winkelman’s helpful mentoring on my

ordination journey By the Rev. Jongdeok Park

18 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

I

experienced a wonderful time with my mentor, the Rev. Paul Winkelman, throughout my ordination process for two years (2019-2021). My mentor was very responsible and passionate to help me understand the ordination process and lead our conversation about Wesleyan theology and our theological perspective. He also took care of more than my ordination work. It was so helpful to talk about the church ministries and the importance of self-care and time for family as a minister. Even through the pandemic, when we couldn’t meet in person, we continued to meet via a video chat, and I was so grateful for his time and efforts at the mentor meetings.

One thing I remember is that I was in the middle of anxiety and fear regarding the mission trip requirement. This is because, in the pandemic season, I had no idea about how to fulfill the mission work requirement like many of the ordination candidates. At that moment, I thought that I couldn’t make it, and I should wait for another year to have an ordination interview. However, Paul was very willing to look for any resources and information from the Board of Ordained Ministry and other areas, and finally, with his support and efforts, I got courage and confidence to keep moving for my ordination process and I found an area in my local church to create a mission work and fulfill the requirement in my process.

I knew that Paul was very involved in his church, community, and so many committees of the District and Conference. However, he never skipped our monthly mentor meetings, and he even encouraged me to ask him whenever I needed more conversations regarding the ordination process. It meant me a lot in the time of uncertainty. He was willing to always be with me and for me. As I had prepared for my ordination process during the pandemic, I had been exhausted emotionally and drained spiritually. However, as my mentor provided his time and

presence whenever I needed his support, it resonated with God's grace that no matter where we are, God is always with us and for us.

When it came close to my ordination interview, he spent a lot of time reading all my ordination papers and gave me feedback and suggestions. We had so many conversations about my pastoral, theological perspectives, and I was ready for my ordination interview with his prayers, words of encouragement, and support.

Even throughout the ordination interview last Feb., he helped release me from fear and nervousness right after each interview station. We prayed together and shared feedbacks for each interview. Finally, when I was informed of the approval of my ordination from the Board of Ordained Ministry, he was more excited to celebrate my ordination than I was. Then, I can say that it was one of the most wonderful memories in my life to have Paul as my mentor and be ordained last June with his supportive hands at the Upper New York Conference.

Rev. Paul Winkelman showed me that to be a mentor in ministry is similar to the way Jesus was willing to be a shepherd for all the world. We all need somebody to guide us to Christ on our faith journey. Even though he was assigned to be a mentor for my ordination process, the relationship between a mentor and mentee cannot be confined to a one-sided purpose. The mentoring relationship is a more mutual process to grow in faith together. We prayed for each other, supported each other, and we cared for each other’s family. In this regard, the mentoring system could be essential for pastors as well as laity in so many various ways of church ministry if we want to grow in faith and encourage one another to seek Christ every single day as John Wesley emphasized the Social Holiness to help all Christians to center their lives together for Christian Perfection.

unyumc.org 19

men·tor /ˈmenˌtôr,ˈmenˌtər/ noun noun: mentor; plural noun: mentors an experienced and trusted adviser.

“It Takes a Village”

By Nairobi O. Smith, Worship Leader

A

n experienced and trusted adviser. When I think of this word, some people stick out to me. I would have to start with my dad and mom— Smith the Rev. Carlos Smith and Patricia Smith. Besides the fact that I literally wouldn’t be here without them, I also figuratively wouldn’t be here without them.

As a child, I was wildly unaware of just how incredible these two humans are. But looking back to when I first started to sing, and still today, they are my biggest supporters. Some might say, “well, they have to be. They’re your parents.” But I don’t think that’s true. I am truly blessed to be their daughter, and I’m forever grateful for their wisdom and unconditional love. As I continue to work my way through life, I am holding on more and more to all their pep talks and pearls of wisdom, from stories from their younger years to their solid foundation in Christ.

Growing up in the church with my dad as my pastor didn’t deter me from ministry. While I didn’t realize my love for ministry until later, I am thankful for the path paved by being a PK (Preacher’s Kid).

20 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

A large part of my formation into the person I am today is my time at Casowasco.

I met Mike Huber when I was about 12 years old. A friend of mine had invited me to a youth retreat which happened to be at Casowasco. A couple of years later, I spent my first week as a camper. Summer Last Blast! And it was. I had the best time and looked forward to going again. Fast-forward six years later, and I’m on summer staff.

Here is where I received the opportunity to play drums in worship. Here is where I realized my passion for worship ministry. As summers came, I was encouraged in my love for worship ministry, and to this day, it runs through me with the same fire. Who knew it would stick for so long? With Mike’s faith in me and willingness to put in time, money, and effort into me, I am leading people of all ages in worship still today, almost 20 years later.

The experience of hearing campers singing out each week to leading our Conference in worship for many years, and everything in between, has been life-changing and lifegiving for me.

As a PK, it’s not uncommon for someone to come up to you and say, “I’ve known you since you were this big.” So, if you were to ask the Rev. Bill Mudge how long he’s known me, that would be his answer. Pastor Bill has wanted to do ministry together for a long time. We were finally able to join forces at Baldwinsville UMC just in time for a pandemic to start. And while the road has looked different than we expected, his encouragement and enthusiasm have never wavered. I’m not sure I’ve ever told him, but I have looked up to Bill for a long time.

From how he preaches to his kindness and positivity, it’s a ray of sunlight on a hard day.

I’m so honored that he would want to work with me and that we get to do ministry sideby-side. During that time of uncertainty, I know for certain that he will show up, and because of him or despite him, the Word of God will be preached. I hope our time together will continue for a while, as I know I have more to glean from it.

But as the saying goes, “it takes a village.”

There have been so many along the way that encouraged me to continue in music.

Kay Christensen Newcomb, my elementary school music teacher. Jean Bendix, my high school choral director. David Schwind, one of my high school band teachers, who, after pestering him that I really could play the drums, let me play a song for our senior jazz band concert. I am grateful for all of them, however short or long our time together was.

Whether we recognize them or not, some humans have helped us become the people we are today. So, to all the mentors out there, thank you. For all the wise words. The pep talks. For listening. For the hugs at the end of a hard day. And most of all, for your time. So, may we take what we have learned and be a mentor to others. unyumc.org 21

Developing the next generation of God’s leaders through mentoring

By Deacon Sue Russell, Director of Asbury Retreat Center

M

entoring people as leadership development is part of a rich tradition that has early roots in a Biblical foundation.

Moses mentored Joshua to be the next leader of the Israelites.

Elizabeth mentored Mary to be the mother Russell of our Savior, and of course Jesus mentored the Disciples to take the Gospel to the people. A mentor is one who counsels, sometimes advocates for, and joins another on a journey for which the mentor has already laid a foundation.

There is a need to prepare people for ministry in a personal way. Mentors are 22 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

key to developing the next generation of God’s leaders. The mentoring relationship is mediated through the Holy Spirit, who works to give an atmosphere of growth.

To be a mentor is to put yourself at the service of another person. This is the nature of being a Christian. To be a pastoral mentor is to be with the person in the context of a mutual calling. In this case both mentor and mentee share the vocation as minister.

Good mentoring Good mentoring is different from training, coaching, supervising, consulting, counseling, and spiritual direction. There is an overlap in each of these areas and each has a place in the formation of Christian leaders. A mentor helps with the challenges and responsibilities of ministry by drawing on their own personal knowledge, wisdom, and experience in response to the needs

of the mentee. A wise and trusted mentor is a tremendous resource in making a good start in ministry, especially in the early years of ministry. Sometimes mentoring helps a mentee find new ways to be in ministry other than being a pastor or being ordained.

All forms of mentoring should begin with a commitment to each of the individuals with the greatest trust, respect, and confidentiality. A mentoring relationship is a safe place where ideas may be shared, and vulnerabilities can be expressed without concern of anything being used against the mentee. A mentor should be on the lookout for every sign of improvement, leadership, and progress.

Always affirm what you want to see “more of.” There is a place to deal with mistakes and problems, but more growth takes place when there is a glimpse of a strength that can be affirmed.

Of most importance is to be passionate about being a mentor because you must be willing to sacrifice for another and give your time and commitment to another person. You need to hold regular and meaningful meetings together. You should clarify your roles as mentor/mentee and be a good match for each other.

Mentoring meetings While in the mentor relationship your meetings should maintain focus on ministry issues. It is easy to go down the path of sharing about each other’s lives.

It is the mentor’s responsibility to keep the mentor meeting focused on a set of identified ministry issues, case studies, readings, leadership inventories, feedback instruments, spiritual formation and other topics. The mentor meetings take preparation. The mentor is responsible for researching the steps into ministry. The mentor should be familiar with knowing

the difference between UM ministry options: CLM, LLP, Associate Member, Elder, and Deacon.

Mentoring can take place through a one-on-one basis or in covenant group settings. Mentoring is interactive. The mentor learns to keep their own leadership strong while strengthening the leadership of the mentee. The mentor creates a learning environment without providing solutions which allows the mentee to practice leadership skills. Listening is the most important skill for a mentor. The mentor may then offer feedback to help the mentee reflect on their experience, and again not provide solutions. It is best to ask good questions than offer answers.

Having a prayer time helps set the tone and gives the right grounding for time together between a mentor and a mentee, or a mentor and a group of mentees.

It’s also very important for the mentee to know that you are praying for them regularly when you are not together.

Reflect on the mentors in your life that have helped you learn, grow, and gain experience.

Resources More resources can be found at the Lewis Center for Church Leadership, the Board of Ordained Ministry website, and the District Committee on Ministry (DCOM) Handbook. Mentoring can be very rewarding, but only if you are willing to give the time and commitment that it takes.

Editor’s Note: The Rev. Sue Russell (Deacon in Full Connection UMC, served two years on the Western NY Board of Ordained Ministry (BOM) and 10 years on the Upper New York BOM, mentored many candidates at all stages in the process into and out of ministry), currently Site Director for Asbury Retreat Center, Silver Lake, NY. unyumc.org 23

Rev. Ma t simbe att churchributes plan

in Tanza nia to

ting suc the Rev c e ss . Harold

By Shannon H odson, UNY Conferen ce Writer/Edito r

24 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

Wheat

W

hen clergy across the Upper New York Conference were asked to share who has mentored them and helped them to become successful in their ministries, many responded with the upmost gratitude about the mentoring they received from the Rev. Harold Wheat.

Canton UMC pastor, Brett Johnson, said, “One of my most impactful mentors was the Rev. Harold Wheat. Harold was assigned as my mentor in 2016 after some personal turmoil in my life and being told I was not ready to move forward in the ordination process. Harold's calming presence, care, and concern for my physical, mental, and spiritual health, helped me to navigate the minefield I felt I was in. We prayed often and laughed a lot about the spiritual kung fu that we were performing as I claimed ownership of my identity as a disciple of Jesus Christ and as a pastor within the United Methodist Church in Upper New York.

Even when I had doubts about my preparedness in 2019 as I planned to interview again, Harold stood beside me and encouraged me to proclaim my truth and faith in Christ. Without Harold's mentorship, there is little doubt that I would be who and where I am today.”

Rev. Wheat’s impact as a mentor goes beyond the Upper New York Conference through his mentor assignments from the General Board of Global Ministries (GBGM). One of his recent mentees is the Rev. Fernando Matsimbe. Continued on page 26. unyumc.org 25

Rev. Matsimbe’s role in the Mozambique South Conference

Rev. Matsimbe became an ordained elder of the Mozambique South Conference in 1991 and served as Conference evangelist and director of the department of evangelization and church growth of his Conference for 20 years, and for three of those years he also served as a missionary pastor in Swaziland and Madagascar.

A Conference evangelist in Africa is equivalent to church planters in the United States and the building of New Faith Communities.

Rev. Matsimbe’s missionary work in Tanzania

Rev. Matsimbe’s passion is in church planting. In 2017, GBGM assigned him to be a missionary in Tanzania. He said, “Tanzania Annual Conference is a relatively new Conference in Africa. It started in 1990, compared to Mozambique South Conference, for example, which began in 1890.”

Rev. Matsimbe’s upbringing

With the help of prayer and financial donations, Rev. Matsimbe, has delivered the love of Jesus Christ to thousands of individuals and has transformed their lives with unique mission centers.

After secondary school, Rev. Matsimbe earned a diploma from the United Theological Seminary of Ricatla in Maputo, the capital of Mozambique. He then earned two degrees in theology from the University of South Africa, and a Master’s certification in rural development from the University Eduardo Mondlane, also in Maputo.

My focus is to build infrastructures to bring visibility to the church…I bought three portions of land…and built three mission centers. People know God exists, but what we are showing them is that we can be the hands and feet of Jesus. The mission centers show God’s love in action.”

Rev. Matsimbe felt called to become an ordained minister from a young age. Born into a Christian family in Mozambique, Rev. Matsimbe was active in the church as president of his church’s youth program.

26 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

He said, “I go into the community and build friendship with one family and from that family you meet other families. And then I start sharing the Gospel with them. For the last three years, I have planted one church a year.

The Sebring-Mwanza Mission Center

One of the mission center’s is the Sebring-Mwanza Mission Center, which is in Tanzania’s second largest city, and is on 20 acres of land. This center is a product of partnership and generosity of the First Sebring UMC from Sebring, Florida.

The Sebring-Mwanza Mission Center houses Alison’s House of Hope, an orphanage where there are currently 60 orphans. This orphanage is a place of hope for the children.

The children are taught English at the center’s English Medium School. This school also welcomes children from all over the area. Rev. Matsimbe said, “We offer English because when you know English, doors open for you world-wide.”

The children are also taught vocations.

Rev. Matsime said, “We teach vocations like carpentry and business administration so that when they go back to their communities, they will have skills that can help them build a career and sustain themselves.”

Rev. Matsimbe continued, “We’re trying to take out of the children’s minds that they are orphans and that they can be owners of their own future.”

Rev. Matsimbe is also in the process of building a dispensary in the center’s community hall to help people with their healthcare needs.

He said, “We’re showing people how the Church can be relevant.”

Continued on page 28. unyumc.org 27

Blue Mound Geita Mission Center

Blue Mound Geita Mission Center is in Kalembela, Geita on 10 acres of land.

Here, there is an empowerment center for women. Much of the land is used for integrated agriculture. As of the writing of this article, they were growing sunflowers and watermelon.

Rev. Matsimbe said, “This is a place for women to have training to generate income for their families through agriculture; the goal is for everyone in their families to be able to have two meals a day.”

Rev. Matsimbe has also started a school at the mission center.

Sebring-Serengeti Mission Center

With financial support from First Sebring UMC, Rev. Matsimbe has broken ground for a church that he is building in the Serengeti National Park. He said, “Once visitors pass the two gates into the park, there is the church. There will also be a United Methodist lodge for visitors to stay; this will be a way to generate income for various ministries” Over the years, he hopes to welcome mission teams from all over the world and host them at the lodge in the Serengeti National Park.

28 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

Despite the obstacles posed by the COVID pandemic, Rev. Matsimbe is continuing his trend of “one mission center a year. which is preventing him from being able to see his wife and children who are still in Mozambique. Rev. Matsimbe’s current project is Longfu UMC, a new church plant at Kigoma District near the Lake Tanganyika region.

How does Rev. Matsimbe do it?

In addition to the support from his wife, a lawyer, who is training to also become a missionary, Rev. Matsimbe attributes much of his commitment to the mentoring he has received from the Rev. Harold Wheat. Rev. Matsimbe was ready to quit almost as soon as he started his missionary assignment in Tanzania.

Rev. Matsimbe said, “GBGM assigned Harold to be my coach…he was such a good listener…and prayed with me. He was a God

send…without having him, I would have quit.

His encouragement is more than can be measured. He was instrumental for keeping me going. God sent him to deliver light to me.

God brought us together when I was broken hearted and in despair. And now I consider him a good friend of mine.”

Rev. Wheat said that mentoring is one of his joys of the Connection. He said, “It is such a joy to see Christ in a person.”

He explained that he and Rev. Matsimbe had powerful connection almost immediately.

Rev. Wheat is humble about his mentoring abilities. He said, “There is a way of listening to the point where the person you are listening to begins coming up with the reassurance they need to hear. For Rev. Matsimbe, he heard that God had big plans for him. And these amazing ministries that Rev. Matsimbe has produced make God’s plans so visible.”

Rev. Wheat believes that mentees can inspire mentors as well. He said, “God uses us to speak to each other in ways that we may not even realize.”

Rev. Wheat gives gratitude to the two mentors who were highly influential in him becoming a pastor: The Rev. Tom Jones and the Rev. Beckie Sweet.

Consider the power that mentoring relationships produce for years ahead.

Rev. Jones and Rev. Sweet have helped Rev. Matsimbe’s ministries because they mentored Rev. Wheat.

To learn more about how you can help Rev. Matsimbe and his ministries in Tanzania, email Rev. Matsimbe at fMatsimbe@umcmission.org.

Go to https://advance.umcmission.org/ and type in “Matsimbe, Fernando” in the search field to read his biography. To learn specifics about his church construction work in the Tanzania Lake Region, visit https://bit.ly/ TanzaniaChurchConstruction. You can also follow him on Facebook for regular photo updates of his projects. unyumc.org 29

My experience as a mentor

By Rhonda Chester, Chaplain

I

am looking at a power outlet on the wall here in my office. Reflecting on mentoring, I realize that it is all about tapping into the power that is available to you. Mentoring is about plugging into the right sources to access the energy needed to make it through life.

In my role as chaplain here at Syracuse University’s (SU) Hendricks Chapel, I understand that a major part of my role is to be an available source of positive influence, encouragement, and direction to students with whom I come into contact.

Over the years, I have provided guidance, direction, and positive energy for several students as they navigate their academic careers. In the Fall of 2019, I met the 30 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

Mbungela family. I had never been asked personally by parents to mentor their child.

I was hosting the table at the University’s annual International Students Welcome Dinner. Xiluva Mbungela, a promising engineer from South Africa, was one of the students sitting at my table along with her parents. I made a connection with them as I shared who I was and how my role as the United Methodist Ecumenical Chaplain influences and energizes the lives of the students.

By the end of the dinner conversations, I promised Mr. and Mrs. Mbungela, who asked me to mentor Xiluva, that I would do my best in providing spiritual care, guidance, and encouragement as she pursues her studies here at SU. That semester was the beginning of what turns out to be a deeply meaningful

mentor-mentee relationship between myself and Xiluva. Through the worst of times and the best of times, Xiluva and I have stayed connected. Though the onset of the pandemic threatened to derail her academic dreams here at SU, she persevered through the challenges of learning online while adjusting her whole life. South Africa is six hours ahead of New York, so imagine the adjustments Xiluva made during her three semesters away from campus. Even though I was also navigating the crises -personal and communal- that the pandemic triggered, I was committed to my role of mentor. I kept in touch with Xiluva and encouraged her not to quit but to remember our conversations about life and balance and self-care and grace - both God’s grace and graciousness with herself.

We revisited conversations we had in pre-pandemic moments; conversations that addressed issues such as: • The importance of setting healthy boundaries in professional and personal relationships.

• The wisdom in walking away from toxic people, places, and things.

• The sensitivity to know one’s value to God even as others try to devalue our worth.

• The ability to open one’s mind to the endless possibilities amid life’s variants.

• How to survive and thrive during chaotic moments.

Giving Xiluva guidance and being present for her at critical moments is the highlight of the relationship for me.

Xiluva managed to return to SU for this Fall ‘21 semester. We met up for breakfast recently and we were both teary-eyed as she shared stories of her fears and struggles while living through the pandemic, away from campus and adjusting to an engineering curriculum virtually.

“Being back in Syracuse to continue my academic journey is a real joy for me,” Xiluva said.

Listening to her express that joy and hearing her include me in her expressions of gratitude is a sweet sound to my ears. Xiluva gave me a greeting card which expresses her feelings.

Xiluva teaches me a lot about her South African Heritage, her faith, and her values as she shares stories from her culture. Our mentor-mentee relationship is unique in that she sees me and feels comfortable relating to me as though I were a kindred family member (she calls me “aunty” Rhonda, a South African term of endearment and respect) and I am comfortable being regarded as such.

The thing about mentoring is that it is a hopeful relationship.

As a mentor, I hope to be a powerful source of influence, light, and life for those I mentor.

I see Xiluva’s value and worth as a human being and then I create sacred moments that allow her to tap into her own inner strength.

This process gives us both necessary hope.

Despite all that has appeared on her academic journey so far, I am proud to say that Xiluva stays on the beat. Like good music, she keeps a consistent rhythm. I am proud to be her mentor. I am proud that she chooses tenacity and strength to navigate the variants of life. And most of all, I am proud that she is connected to the ultimate source God- who is light and life. unyumc.org 31

Leadership development through mentoring with United Methodist Women

By Tara Barnes, Editor of Response, the magazine of United Methodist Women

A

fter serving in India with their missionary husbands, Clementina Butler and Lois Parker returned to Boston in 1869 with a mission: To get women and children in India the health care and education Barnes they deserve. That March, eight Methodist women founded the Woman’s Foreign Missionary Society and raised funds to send two women missionaries, a doctor and a teacher, to India. That organization continues today as United Methodist Women.

In fact, United Methodist Women is the inheritor of the vision and work of the women’s missionary societies of the eight denominations that became The United Methodist Church. These women organized to uplift women and children around the world and in so doing uplifted one another 32 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

as well. In their efforts to serve and advocate for those in need, they gained education, grew spiritually, and learned leadership skills in a world that offered women very little opportunity. These same opportunities exist for United Methodist Women members today.

“United Methodist Women has been such an important part of my life,” said Ilah Sisson Walser, previous Upper New York (UNY) Conference president and member of United Methodist Women at Ballston Spa United Methodist Church in Ballston Spa, New York.

“It has challenged me to grow and learn. It has given me a wealth of friends near and far. It has expanded my knowledge through study and experience. It has warmed my heart in so many ways, and it has led me on paths I never dreamed of.”

Equipping leaders

United Methodist Women is the official women’s organization of The United Methodist Church. It exists at the local, District, Conference, Jurisdiction, and national level as women working together to make sure the Church meets the needs of women and children and so builds God’s kin-dom. It is self-funded and women-led at every level.

Women who are part of United Methodist Women have said yes to God’s call— and they equip themselves to follow this call. Christian education resources like mission studies and the Reading Program and events like Mission u, Leadership Development Days, and Assembly keep members connected across the country, and members hold gatherings at the local, district and conference level as well. Women who have taken on a leadership role, such president, treasurer, social action chair or communications coordinator or serving on the national board of directors or program advisory group, are trained and resourced.

But more importantly, they are mentored.

“My servant leadership skills were intentionally planted, encouraged, and then equipped by multiple generations of United Methodist Women from my late teens to the present day,” said current UNY United Methodist Women President Carmen Vianese. “This ‘sisterhood of grace’ not only provided living examples of justice-seeking, mission-minded women, but it also provided a foundation of women disciples that support one another as we seek to grow in our relationship with Jesus.”

Carmen was elected as a Conference delegate to the United Methodist General Conference and serves as UNY’s lead delegate.

“And it is these truths,” she said, “that have helped prepare me to be a fully inclusive, justice-minded servant leader to this very day.”

Creative, supportive fellowship

The Purpose of United Methodist Women is to be a community of women whose purpose is to know God and to experience freedom as whole persons through Jesus Christ; to develop a creative, supportive fellowship; and to expand concepts of mission through participation in the global ministries of the church.

Valerie Clark serves as a director on the United Methodist Women national board of directors, a position to which she was elected during the Northeast Jurisdiction United Methodist Women virtual meeting in the summer of 2020.

“United Methodist Women members really live out the Purpose,” Valerie said.

“We’re a supportive fellowship. Those aren’t just words—we walk it, we live it, we do it. Whenever I call on a United Methodist Women member I’m always met with a smile and a loving heart. It’s been so important this past year and a half to know you’d be heard and that there’s someone you can go to.”

Locally, you’ll see United Methodist Women members hosting funeral dinners and community meals, putting on craft fairs and bazaars and other creative fundraisers for mission organizations, studying together, and organizing vigils and rallies and forums to advocate for positive change. You’ll see them join with hundreds of thousands of fellow members to work for racial justice and climate justice. Most of all, you’ll see them supporting one another.

Valerie, a member of United Methodist Women and the lay leader at Covenant United Methodist Church in Rochester, shared that the support goes beyond United Methodist Women.

“You take what you’ve learned from United Methodist Women and apply it everywhere in your life, because it’s part of you,” she said. “I take it everywhere. It’s me. United Methodist Women? That’s me.”

Ilah hopes to show the support and mentorship she received to other women.

“I was mentored by so many faithful leaders, and I can only hope I share that onto others,” said Ilah. “My first United Methodist Women Assembly was with a complete stranger who took me under her wing like a mother hen, and she became a mentor and very dear friend. A true gift.”

Learn more about how you can support or become a part of United Methodist Women at unitedmethodistwomen.org. unyumc.org 33

My first

mentor By the Rev. Cathy Hall Stengel

34 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

L

ooking over my shoulder for mentors, I find myself in college at SUNY Geneseo. There, standing in the entryway of the Student Ministry Center (aka The Newman Center), stands Rev. Manfred Lassen (Fred). His smile and posture speak of welcome, hospitality, acceptance, and eyes to see. As I looked for a place to belong socially and emotionally in this chapter of my life, I could never have imagined landing there, at the door seeing his face, and more importantly at the time, him seeing me. Faith, faith environments, people of faith, scripture, prayer, songs of faith – they were all brand new to me. I hadn’t learned them, experienced them, or made meaning of them in my heart and life.

Having studied and taught mentoring through my career, looking back and visiting Fred as a very significant mentor to me is such a gift. Fred had an easy and jovial spirit about him; his laugh was wholehearted and joyful. Fred’s gifts in ministry brought me to the communion table for the very first time and taught me that I didn’t have to read the Bible from beginning to end, that I could start with the gospels. More than that Fred made space for who I was, for the me I brought to the conversation, genuinely.

While I struggled with what I didn’t know and couldn’t yet speak to, Fred never treated me as a preschool Christian. He was curious about me, accepted me, just where I was. I couldn’t have known at 18 that the relationship I was experiencing was what I later would hope that people entering ministry would have. In my study of what it means to mentor – I found this definition or understanding to be most helpful – A mentoring relationship is one of mutual acceptance and respect where both the mentor and the mentee learn from one another in a safe and affirming space.

Having never had a pastor or been a parishioner I had no expectations

Rev. Lassen

or preconceived ideas as to what Fred should or shouldn’t be, should or shouldn’t teach or preach, should or shouldn’t think of me. What I experienced was a chaplain who created space and environments where I could experience the grand and grace filled love of God and grow in my understanding of the teachings of Jesus Christ. Fred reflected back to me the most incredible gift – you are welcome here, to learn, to grow, to deepen your faith as you are led.

You don’t need to be something else, something you aren’t. And further, as he beckoned me in – he said in all the ways necessary, let’s go together.

When it became clear that God was walking me into a call into pastoral ministry, Fred smiled wide and said that sometimes a person’s call is clearer to others than the person themselves. His affirmation of that call validated all that he had offered me – the sacrament of communion, the gift of the gospel, grace, and a place I hadn’t even imagined in the United Methodist Church. He truly exemplified what it means to be the hands and feet of Christ. unyumc.org 35

Mentoring as a double portion of your spirit

By Rev. Vonda Fossitt, Genesee Valley District Superintendent

W

hen I think of a biblical story or characters of the Bible that is a good depiction of the art of mentoring, I recall the story of the prophets Elijah and Elisha.

From the nation of Israel, Elisha was becoming a prophet and a “wonderFossitt worker” before being mentored by Elijah.

Simultaneously, it was revealed to Elijah by God (Yahweh) in a cave at Mount Horeb that Elisha would succeed him in the prophetic office. I Kings 19:20 reads, “So Elijah went from there and found Elisha son of Shaphat. He was plowing with 12 yoke of oxen, and he himself was driving the 12th pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him. Elisha then left his oxen and ran after Elijah. “Let me kiss my father and mother goodbye,” he said, “and then I will come with you.” In I Kings 19:19 -26, Elijah anoints Elisha and he becomes his mentor, guide, and confidant.

First and foremost, mentoring is about a calling, about being called into a relationship. Elijah was called to begin a relationship with a man of God named Elisha. And although Elisha wanted to take care of some family business, Elijah was patient with him and assured him that he 36 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

would be waiting for his return. Mentoring requires a relationship that will demand that the mentor is patient with the mentee. It begs that the mentor gives the mentee the time and space they need to move forward in a new trusting relationship.

In the role of Superintendent, we have many opportunities to be like an Elijah to many Elishas. To begin relationships where we are called to patiently walk with pastors and laypeople as they begin to trust us to guide them into new paths of ministry.

These relationships help to build our UM Church into a more connectional system.

In an article by career coach Kylie Hammond, she offers up these thoughts on mentoring. She explains that there are three essential aspects of effective mentoring: Active Listening, Availability and Analysis.

Active Listening:

When Elijah invited Elisha to follow him, he could hear Elisha’s desire to check on his family first and was able to accommodate him. Anyone who engages in the art of mentoring, must be able to hear, consider, and respect the viewpoint of the one being mentored. Elijah responded and said, “Go back.”

Availability:

Along with being a good listener, the mentor must be available to meet the growing needs of the mentee. Once Elisha returned from “kissing his father and mother goodbye” he went to Elijah and took his place as his protégé. Elijah made himself available to begin a mentoring relationship with Elisha. For the next phase

of his prophetic life, including the traumatic dealings with Jezebel and King Ahab, Elijah remained as guide and teacher, taking the time to equip, nurture, and train Elisha. Elijah fulfilled the call to be mentor to Elisha, making himself emotionally, spiritually, and physically available to him up until his time of departure.

Analysis:

I agree with the writer Hammond, that the three aspects of mentoring, Active Listening, Availability, and Analysis are gifts necessary to be an effective mentor. The District Superintendent is called by God to share their experiences in ministry with new and seasoned pastors and to offer guidance to the laity of the local church.

A DS must be a good listener, should be available to many, and be able to analyze a situation in order to offer the best solution.

There are so many examples of how I have felt God's nudging to assist a church member and/or pastor with a problem that it's quite difficult to mention just a few. But mentoring offers all of us a chance to have a deeper relationship with God and with each another.

Elisha determined to follow Elijah, valued the ways in which Elijah dedicated himself to the labors of God. He learned from him, trusted in him and seemed to love him like a father. And at the same time, Elijah analyzed the situation and knew it was soon time to depart from Elisha and be taken away into heaven. In 2 Kings 2:1-2, we read: “When the LORD was about to take Elijah up to heaven in a whirlwind, Elijah and Elisha were on their way from Gilgal.

Elijah said to Elisha, ‘Stay here; the LORD has sent me to Bethel.”

But Elisha said, “As surely as the LORD lives and as you live, I will not leave you.”

Elisha was refusing to remain behind each time Elijah instructed him to stay behind. In the wisdom of God, Elijah asked Elisha what he could do for him before he left. Elisha responded by requesting “Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit” (2 Kings 2:9b).

Elijah told Elisha that, if he saw Elijah when he was taken, then the double portion would be Elisha’s. Elisha did, indeed, see the chariot and horses of fire that separated the men, and he saw Elijah taken to heaven in a whirlwind. Elisha picked up Elijah’s cloak and walked to the Jordan River.

Elisha struck the water with the cloak, and it divided, just as it had done for Elijah.

The other prophets who witnessed this recognized that Elijah’s spirit now rested on Elisha. As God had decreed, Elisha would now be His prophet to the people (2 Kings 2:1–18).

Mentoring, sharing experiences with another colleague, and identifying some pitfalls while offering and suggesting best practices can be rewarding. As a mentor, Elijah offered counsel, direction and a “safe place” for Elisha to explore the vast possibilities of a new experience. To mentor another is to share a piece of yourself and your understanding.

The opportunities made available to a District Superintendent can be large and vast, distinctive and vague, and rare and precise. It comes down to our giftedness and where we feel God is leading us individually and collectively.

Mentors are needed at every level of ministry of the Church. Have you considered sharing your experiences with someone else who may possess spiritual gifts like yours? In this way, as Elisha said to Elijah, Joshua said to Moses and how the disciples must have asked of Jesus, we each can be given “A double portion of the Spirit of God.” unyumc.org 37

How to

&

be a mentor find a mentor Adapted from an article by Tricia Brown, originally published on resourceumc.org

T

here are many advantages to a mentoring partnership, both to the mentor and the protégé.

In addition to helping you learn how to manage stress, a mentor can help you explore your strengths and weaknesses, establish personal and ministerial goals, evaluate problems, and develop solutions.

By listening to someone else and sharing knowledge, a mentor has the opportunity to "give back," not only to an individual but also to the church as a whole.

If you think you might benefit from having a mentor, here are a few steps you can take: Find someone you trust and admire When trying to find a great mentor, consider looking for someone who shares your values, is both a teacher and a listener, and who demonstrates a sincere care for others (particularly you). Look for someone you might want to emulate in your ministry.

38 UNY ADVOCATE 2021, Issue 2

Get to know the person, but don't put that person on a pedestal. Everyone is human.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

Consider both.

If you really feel that you could benefit from having a mentor (or really want to be a mentor), but you have no idea who to ask, consider a mentor-matching website such as Findamentor.com or Mentoring.org.

Approach the person about being your mentor

While some people recommend just letting a relationship occur "naturally," the most direct route to developing a mentorship is to simply ask the person to be your mentor.

When you do so, be open about why you are looking for a mentor and what you need.

Also, be flexible with your expectations.

For example, are you looking for a mentor who will hold you accountable in some area of weakness? If so, you may need someone who can talk or meet with you at least once a week.

Or, are you are looking for someone who can just share points of interest and encourage you in the ministry? Then you may only need to connect once a month.

Are you looking for someone who can help talk you down when you have the occasional meltdown? If that's the case, you need to discuss the person's willingness to be "on call."

Be clear as to what you expect so that the person you admire can make an educated decision on whether or not he or she has the resources for such a relationship.

Also, be realistic and considerate in your expectations. Remember, you are asking this person for a huge favor. Do not be demanding in your approach.

Make a plan If a mentorship is agreed upon, make a plan of action.

When will you meet again? Is it OK for you to call or text if you are having a difficult day or need help. What is his or her preferred method of communication?

Mentoring is like any relationship, and growing great relationships take time. So, don't expect life-changing results after one meeting. Make a commitment to be patient and be mindful of your mentor's time and energy. Don't unnecessarily wear them out.

Be willing to listen and learn A mentor should be someone who can guide you, encourage you and help you make positive changes to your life and ministry. You have to be willing to listen and to learn in order to take advantage of the mentoring relationship.

You need to accept challenges and rebukes with a teachable spirit. You have chosen this person because you trust him or her; so don't run away the first time you feel uncomfortable with what you hear.

Consider beiing a mentor as well

Just as everyone can learn something from others, everyone has something to teach. Perhaps you are at a point in your life where you feel that you have time to share and wisdom that you could pass along to someone else.

If you want to be a great mentor, the steps to finding a mentee are very similar to those above:

1. Find someone with whom you would like to develop a mentoring relationship.

2. Approach the person with your idea, always being wary not to appear conceited.

You are not saying that you are perfect or that you have it all together. In humility, let the person know that you feel you might have some insight into what he or she is going through and that you would like to be an encouragement in his or her life.

3. Make a plan, taking into consideration the needs and desires of the other person.

4. Always be willing to listen. Believe it or not, you don't have to know everything or appear to have all the answers; the vital component to mentoring is a willingness to listen. You should also be a good role model, honest, patient, and compassionate.

In addition, you may find that mentoring relationships can be beneficial in other areas of your congregation (pairing senior citizens with youth, for example). If you are interested in implementing a mentoring program in your church, you may be interested in mentoring software products such as MentorcliQ, Mentor Resources, or Chronus.

Proverbs 27:17, which says, "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another," is a reminder of the benefits of partnership.

Whether you choose to have a mentor, be a mentor or both, there is great value in teaming up to share wisdom and inspiration.

Why not consider mentoring to improve your ministry today?

unyumc.org 39

7481 Henry Clay Blvd.

Liverpool, NY 13088

WWW.UNYUMC.ORG