VOL. 11 - FALL 2024 EDITION
Absolution | The Healing Journey of Forgiveness
Empowering women to live life unveiled in the freedom that God gave us.
ISSUE 11
Tracee Padilla
FROM THE EDITOR
Editor-in-Chief, Unveiled Living E-Mag and Visionary & Founder of Unveiled Living Ministry
Forgiving those who have hurt us is one of the hardest, yet most freeing, choices we face as women. I know this firsthand from my own divorce in 2012. The feelings of rejection, abandonment, and fear cut deep, and forgiveness was the last thing on my mind. But I’ll never forget something I learned during that season: forgiving someone, even if they never say sorry, is more about your freedom than theirs. That one truth shifted everything for me. Holding onto unforgiveness keeps us tied to the past, dragging us down into self-pity, anger, and bitterness. It even creates a barrier between us and God. I had to make a choice early on to let go of the hurt, the rejection, and the abandonment. Even when I didn’t fully understand it, I knew forgiveness was the only way to move forward. This brings us to the theme of absolution—which means the formal release from guilt or punishment. Forgiveness is the very essence of absolution. When we choose to forgive, we release ourselves from the heavy chains of resentment and bitterness. It’s about setting ourselves free from the weight of the past, even if we never hear "sorry."
Carrying unforgiveness is like walking around with a 20-pound bag of bricks every single day. And I knew that’s not how God intended me—or you—to live. I’m convinced that if I hadn’t chosen to forgive, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Forgiveness set me free to pursue the life God has for me. It didn’t come instantly, but the peace and joy that followed were worth every bit of the struggle. So, as you flip through this edition, my prayer is that if there’s any residue of unforgiveness from the challenging seasons of your life, you’ll find the strength to let it go. Place it in the hands of the Lord, who understands more than you could ever imagine what you’ve been through. The journey may not be easy, but freedom is always worth it. Trust Him to take the burden, and watch Him fill those spaces with His healing love. "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:31-32, NLT) Walking in freedom,
Tracee Padilla
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Tracee L. Padilla Editor-in-Chief
Tracee & Edwin Padilla & Janice Conyers Creative Design
Janice Conyers
Content Editor
EDITION
BREAKING FREE Janice Conyers
AMAZING GRACE Kathleen Knapp
THE RELEASE OF FORGIVENESS Simone Johnson
LIVING LIFE UNVEILED Heart Talk Vlog
LEARNING TO TRUST GOD AFTER DIVORCE Tracee Padilla
FORGIVENESS IS MORE THAN A DECISION Megan Wilzcek
IT’S NOT DEFEAT UNLESS WE ALLOW IT Tiffany Snyder
THE PATH LESS TRAVELED STUDY Carmen Chase
THE PROCESS TO A PURE HEART Jessica Thompson
A BATTLE OF FEAR AND PRIDE Beth Nelson
THE LONG ROAD TO FORGIVENESS Sheila Campbell
FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION Cendrine Hosoda
THE KING’S FORGIVING HEART Michelle A. Balls
EDITION
PURSUE WORSHIP
THE PATH LESS TRAVELED
Tracee Padilla
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Breaking Free BY JANICE CONYERS
From Self-Loathing to Self-Forgiving
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS AGAIN?! I HATE YOU!
I couldn’t believe it. How could I have been so naïve? Looking at my own reflection in the mirror, I had reached a very deep, dark place. One I’d never known existed. Until now. My abuser was me and I had reached a point where I could no longer stand to be with myself, but I also couldn’t escape. I reflected on the words of Paul in Romans 7:15, “I don’t really understand myself. For what I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” It was a perfect encapsulation of my inner turmoil. I was trapped in a vicious cycle of disappointment and frustration, unable to break free and I didn’t have a clue on how to stop it. Until one day, in utter frustration, I lamented in prayer with God and had an honest confrontation with my own heart. The Bible teaches us in 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I realized that my self-condemnation was not aligned with God's promise of forgiveness. While I had sought His grace, I had failed to extend that grace to myself.
As the weeks passed, I would walk victoriously until a trigger would appear, I’d stumble, and find myself in the same deep, dark place I was trying to escape. I’d beat myself up again, and usually worse than before. Along with it, came promises to do better. I hated myself for continuously doing what I hated. Even more, I hated the battle raging inside. One Sunday, listening to my pastor’s sermon, the Holy Spirit stirred up my spirit man and I answered the call to the alter with fervor. This was it. I felt like the woman in the bible with the issue of blood – that if I could touch the hem of His garment, I would be whole. I could see freedom in my reach. When I arrived at the altar, every prayer team member was busy, but I couldn’t wait. The Holy Spirit stirring inside me was too strong.
I was standing near where my dear friend and prayer-warrior, sister in the Lord was seated and I motioned for her to come pray with me. As she did, tears flooded down my face. This was it. I could feel it. Without me sharing exactly what I was struggling with, she understood my battle and saw a fellow sister in war that was weary and needed help. She asked me to start praying in the Spirit and as I did, the Holy Spirit gave her the words to pray over my mind, my body, and my spirit. Freedom was mine; I could see it! But she wasn’t done. She stepped back and looked at me. “Jan, why are you abusing yourself? Why are you choosing to believe that you can’t forgive yourself? If your daughter were standing in your place, would you tell her that her forgiveness needs to be earned because of your struggles, or received freely, as Christ has given us?” .
“I don’t really understand myself, For I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” Romans 7:15
WHOA! Read that again. It’s so simple. Yet the enemy clouded my vision in the battle. If I would believe so freely that forgiveness is easily received for anyone, WHY, oh, WHY, would I not believe it or receive it for myself? That’s when it came. Revelation. Clarity. Total Surrender.
From that moment on, I was free. Free from self-abuse, and free from that which I hated.
.
In that moment, I received God’s unconditional, unwavering, unending forgiveness, love, and grace for myself. As it poured over me like new anointing oil, and the sorrowful tears were replaced with ones of gratitude and joy With this newfound understanding, I began to practice self-compassion. Proverbs 19:8 states, "The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper." I realized acquiring wisdom included understanding my own worth through God's eyes. I started to treat myself with the kindness and compassion that I readily extended to others. This shift in perspective allowed me to see myself as a beloved child of God, deserving of grace and redemption. Today, I stand as a testament to the transformative power of God's grace and the healing that comes from selfforgiveness. I have learned to forgive myself for past mistakes and to embrace the person God created me to be.
My journey has made me stronger and with each step, I draw closer to the wholeness and peace that God promises. By seeking God's forgiveness, embracing His love, and extending grace to ourselves, we can overcome the darkness of self-loathing and step into the light of healing. Let us remember the words of Philippians 1:6, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." With God's help, we can find the strength to forgive ourselves and embrace the healing that He so graciously offers.