TAUG Fall 2013

TAUG To An Unknown God: A Journal of Christian Thought at Berkeley Volume 6 | Issue 2 | Fall 2013

War and Pain Table of Contents Letter from the Editor Natalie Cha

4

Themed Articles Glory in Tribulation

6

The Battle Lines are Drawn

8

Unavoidable Confrontation

10

The Labyrinth of Suffering

11

The Pain of Prvilege

12

Yearning for Heaven

14

Rewritten

16

Monica Mikhail

Solomon Kim

Jonathan Chen Jackie Lee

David Park

Lauren Cho

Micaela Walker

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Themed Articles (cont.)

Peace in the Unending Storms

18

Love Pain

20

To Curse, To Sing

21

Advent Candle One

24

Meriah Barajas

Joshua Joo

Christy Kim

Bon Jin Koo

Unthemed Articles Turn the Other Cheek

26

Will You Then Wait For Me?

28

Why Christianity?

29

Announcing the Gospel Together

30

Noah Cho

Sandra Lee

Tyler Hansen

Lue-Yee Tsang

Poetry That I May See

32

The Path

33

Facing the Shadows

34

Jennifer Yim

Stephen Haw

Amanda Gee

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Letter From the Editor Dear Reader,

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ur world is broken. It is a world wrought with terror, injustice and suffering where people are raped, tortured, and massacred. Civil wars break out and brother kills brother; other wars erupt and countries destroy each other. At times, such tragic events seem a world away, witnessed only through a flash of a news story or a student protest on campus. Other times, the events directly hit home and this is why you stand, armed with a sign, outraged at the world. But then another fight rages in a realm unseen, unknown to some, the Enemy against the One. War, whether it takes place in the physical or spiritual battlefield, has repercussions that affect every one of us.

Pain, as you already know, is also universal. It seeps into our lives, our homes, our bodies, our souls. A sudden death, a betrayal, a horrific act of violence. Persecution, rejection, oppression. Failure, disappointment, heartbreak. We kneel on the ground sobbing, lay in bed drowning, and walk forward persevering. But there comes the moment, when you’re exhausted from fighting and all you can ask is “Why?” Why me, why here, why now, why this?

Perhaps you never received an answer. Perhaps you’re still looking for one. But you’re tired of the same old words of encouragement or the repetitive bible verses or the church that doesn’t seem to care. So you picked up this journal. The bold words caught your eye: War and Pain. As you flip through these pages, I cannot promise you will find what you’re looking for. But you will discover a discussion by people who have faced and endured similar afflictions as yours. Through raw testimonies and powerful exhortations, these friends, fellow students, brothers and sisters in Christ describe why they have chosen to persevere.

For there is a man, fully God and fully human, who came and died on a wooden tree. He faced not only the persecution and pain of the world but also warred against the principalities and spiritual forces of evil.

Moments before His arrest, He lifted up His eyes to heaven and cried, “Father, I do not ask that You take them out of the world but that You keep them from the evil one.As You sent me into the world, so I have sent them.

As I am not of this world, so they are not.” (John 17:15-16) Because He was hated, beat and whipped, so shall we face the sufferings of this world. But since He resurrected and ascended to the right hand of God, so shall we take heart. For He has overcome the world. (John 16:33)

In Christ,

Natalie Cha, Editor-in-Chief

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Editor-in-Chief Natalie Cha

Advisory Board Steven Fish Department of Political Science

Executive Editor Jennifer Yim

Tsu Jae King Liu

Associate Editors Jonathan Chen, Grace Cho, Lauren Cho, Amanda Gee, Tyler Hansen, Joshua Joo, Tae Hwan Keum, Joanna Kim, Solomon Kim, Bon Jin Koo, Jackie Lee, Norah Lee, Richard Lee, Sandra Lee, Benjamin Lin, Desiree Macchia, Monica Mikhail, Ruiqi Wang

Department of Electrical Engineering and Computer Sciences

Jeffrey Reimer Managing Editors Joice Lee Jonathan Lim

Department of Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering

Jan de Vries Department of History

Editors Emeriti Wesleigh Anderson, Chris Han, Sarah Cho, Stephanie Chiao, Laura Ferris, Cliff Mak, John Montague, Whitney Moret

Artists Creative Commons: 24; Bon Jin Koo: 16, 17; Joice Lee: table of contents (second page), 5, 6, 11, 12, 13, 18 (top left, bottom left), 20, 28, 30, 31, 32 (graphic), 36; David Lim: cover, table of contents (first page), 10, 14, 15, 18 (middle left, right), 21, 22, 26, 29, 33; Jonathan Lim: 8 (graphic), 9 (graphic),; Monica Mikhail: 7; Danielle Song: 35 (graphic)

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Glory Tribulation in

Monica Mikhail, STAFF WRITER

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he escalating political tension in Egypt these past two years broke on August 14, 2013 sending the country into chaos. Enmity ruled the hearts and minds of those who previously had power. Islamists sought to demolish the country if they could not rule it and all those who opposed them. Egypt was in distress.

Christians, as well as other groups, became targets. The days following led to the complete destruction of 52 schools, convents, monasteries, and institutions that belonged to the Orthodox, Catholic, and Protestant churches.1 Coptic Orthodox Christians, the largest Christian community in Egypt, endured over a hundred attacks on their churches and their institutions. The Church of God was under fire. On that Wednesday, when Egypt imploded, I was supposed to be studying for my Physics final but everything seemed trivial. The bloodshed and devastation consumed my thoughts.

Even before August 14, Christians in Egypt had been suffering silently—the world not taking much notice. In the times leading up to this event, the danger was very perceptible and real. Children like ten year old Jessica became victims of the aggression towards Christians. She was shot in the chest on the way home from Bible School the evening of August 6.2 Although the suffering of Christians in Egypt had officially become real to the world on August 14, it was the reality of many before that date.

As I sat in Berkeley’s Chemistry library staring at my physics 6 To An Unknown God | Fall 2013

notes thinking about the state of the Copts and all Christians, I cried for Egypt. My heart hurt for all those who were recipients of injustice. I wanted to believe that I genuinely desired to be in the country of my ancestors. As a Coptic Orthodox Christian, I wanted to believe that I would have enough courage to defend my faith just as my brothers and sisters in Christ. I wanted to believe that I would recognize what was trulyv important and cast aside my daily responsibilities so that I may spend time in my parish church lifting up prayers to my God. If there were attacks, I wanted to believe that I would stand with the brave even if it meant death. The truth is though, I do not know if I would be able to do any of that. In that moment, what I wanted the most was see the end of the persecution against the Church of God. The oppressors seemed to have robbed the country of its peace.

The political turmoil had caused such overwhelming tragedy – laughter was replaced with tears of mourning for the lost. When St. Paul commands us to “rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks,”3 his words seemed inappropriate to the current situation. He could not have possibly meant in everything give thanks. To me, it seems too difficult to adopt a spirit of thanksgiving during times of tribulation. However, unlike me, there were those who suffered direct persecution that were able to thank God for everything. This past September, Atef, a fourteen year old boy, returned home to his mother empty-handed after he was sent by his mother to buy his bread. He was shot in the back. Despite everything, he said, “Had it not been for God’s

protection, the mob would have eaten me alive.”4 His love and faith in God did not waver. He was able to see God’s glory on a personal level. Hearing the stories of people like Atef convict me.

St. Peter says to the congregations belonging to persecuted churches, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.”5 The Church of God has always known persecution – beginning with the crucifixion of our Lord Jesus Christ. According to St. Peter, it is not anything that warrants confusion for even Christ says to his disciples, “If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you”.6 Rather, with great pleasure, St. Peter tells the afflicted, Rejoice! You have been found worthy to suffer with Christ! Instead of praying and beseeching Christ to call to an end the trials that pervade us, it should be asked that the Lord strengthen the persecuted so that they may continue persevering. He already does this by blessing the oppressed, saying, “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven”.7 He reminds us that while we may suffer on earth, we should not allow darkness to consume us and pain to overwhelm us. Heaven, the ultimate resting place, should be our focus.

Christ has given us the “power to tread on serpents and

scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy”.8 We must remember the promises of the Lord and believe that even in the midst of war, that peace and joy are possible. The world may be in a state of turmoil, but this is only a temporary stop before we reach our everlasting home. Our Lord Christ assures us that “in the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world”.9 August 14 and the days following, I prayed for Egypt like I never had before, and I still do. However, instead of asking God to call to an end the persecution in Egypt and abroad, I ask Him to grant strength to the afflicted and I pray that I am able to stand as a witness to him when times of persecution come, no matter what form it appears in.

1. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nelly-van-doornharder/burning-thechurches-egyp_b_3831544.html 2. http://morningstarnews.org/2013/08/coptic-christian-girl-shot-dead-inegypt/ 3. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; New Kings James Version 4. http://www.copticorphans.org/blog/2013/09/shot-for-bread/ 5. 1 Peter 4:12-14; New King James Version 6. John 15:18; New King James Version 7. Matthew 5:11-12; New King James Version 8. John 15:19; New King James Version 9. John 16:33; New King James Version Monica Mikhail is a Coptic Orthodox Christian and is dedicated to forever seeking and learn

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BATTLE Solomon Kim, STAFF WRITER

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he enemy always has an church. It really is that simple. The enemy identity. For Batman, it’s the of God is the enemy of the greater Church Joker. Democrats, Republicans. of Christ and therefore the enemy of the Communists, Capitalists. Red Sox, Yankees. American church. Why all this build-up David, Goliath. The forces of good and when all we have to do is simply watch evil, right and wrong, vicious and righteous out for and fight against Satan? Consider clash in a never-ending conflict of titanic that statement. Consider how helpful it is in the “war against the devil.” Not at all. (or miniscule) proportions.

One thing that should be fairly Leaving it at that is putting Satan’s name on clear-cut is the identity of the enemy of the a wanted poster without any description of American church. To be clear, the Church what he looks like or what he does.

So what does Satan look like? He is called of Christ is universal, including disciples 1 of all nations and tongues . The American the father of lies2, the ancient serpent3. In church simply refers to the manifestation popular culture he looks like a satyr, a half of Christ’s Church here in the United goat, half man, with horns and a pitchfork.

States. The enemy of the American If you saw Satan walking, slithering, or church, therefore, refers to the existence or clopping down the street, you’d be able to condition that keeps Christians in America pick him out in an instant. There lies his from glorifying God and taking up the first deception. Satan disguises himself Great Commission which entails spreading as an angel of light4, an illusion of beauty. the Word of God and the love of Christ to He is often called the Prince of the World the world. So what is it? and hides behind a shroud of false glory Hypocrisy is the first thing that comes and majesty. He offers us bread when we to my mind. Christians preaching one are hungry, power when we are weakened, message and living out another, judging and dominion over the entire world if we instead of forgiving, hating instead of would only worship him instead of God5. loving. More than anything else, it seems It sounds like a good deal, but what does to me that it is hypocrisy that stumbles the it profit a man to gain the whole world and work of Christ here in the States. So are we forfeit his soul?6 What good is the entire done? Have we achieved what this article world if we’ll die in eighty odd years and set out to achieve? No, we haven’t. We’ve spend eternity in hell, separated from God? only scratched the surface. Hypocrisy is a What do I see when I try to visualize Satan? symptom, a consequence of a much deeper, I see the world’s greatest salesman with an much more sinister issue. attractive smile, trustworthy eyes, making The reign of Satan. God’s enemy, Satan, empty promises. is the force threatening the American

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Even in our modern times Satan prowls like a lion, seeking someone to devour7. In the verse this statement is derived from, he is described as a roaring lion. Pretty conspicuous. However, we don’t typically see or hear Satan as easily as we would an angry, carnivorous beast. So is he just biding his time, or better yet, not active anymore?

By no means! One of the most dangerous things we can do is believe that the threat is gone. C.S. Lewis wrote a chilling series of letters from the perspective of a senior demon to a lesser demon. “When the humans disbelieve in our existence we lose all the pleasing results of direct terrorism, and we make no magicians. On the other hand, when they believe in us, we cannot make them materialists and skeptics.8“ If we saw demons prancing through the streets, possessing our neighbors, and wreaking havoc in our modern society, it would be much easier to remain alert and cling to God. Against a generation trying to validate its faith with undeniable supernatural experiences, undeniable supernatural experiences would be the least effective weapon. Instead our enemy is much more sly, turning us into materialists and skeptics, disguising sin, and twisting otherwise good things.

The enemy is called the ruler of the world9 and in this age of modern spiritual warfare he uses the world, perverting God’s otherwise good creation to turn our sight away from heaven. Perversion itself

E LINES is defined as an alteration of something from its original course to a distortion or corruption of what it was first intended.

Now the world refers to the things of the earth, like objects, society, social status, customs, nature itself. Everything on this planet was designed and created by God, and everything that He made was inherently good10. However, Satan takes that creation and perverts it, twisting it towards his purpose of turning us away from God. Probably the most controversial of these distortions lies in sex. Sex was created by God and is good, beautiful, and powerful. It is how we reproduce, how we become fruitful and multiply11.

However it has become a shell of what it is in Scripture. It has become associated with dirtiness and filth, a taboo topic of respectable conversation. Despite this, it is on everyone’s television and computer screen. It is used to sell products and movie tickets. According to the Guttmacher Institute, the average American has his or her first sexual encounter at seventeen years old, making the nineteen year-old virgin feel embarrassed, or the sexually active fifteen year-old feel affirmed. Our society no longer sees marriage as a prerequisite to sex. The virgin groom and bride are outdated traditions clung on to by the uptight, conservative, and overly religious.

The solemnly sworn oath of commitment to one’s spouse is no longer important. In fact, for many people it doesn’t matter who it is as long as they make them feel good.

Satan took the sacred gift and heavy responsibility of sex and turned it into a cheap commodity. On a mission trip in Cambodia this past summer I was offered prostitutes by a complete stranger as I walked through a well-populated tourist area. He offered me thirteen and fourteen year-old girls, with a smirk on his face. That look and the ease with which he approached me showed me very clearly how cheap sex had become. So cheap people can buy it any night on the streets even here in America, here in the Bay Area.

The enemy also succeeds in perverting good intentions most people (and Christians) don’t even think twice about.

For those of us seeking to have families of our own someday, we want to be able to provide for them. This requires some degree of money, typically gained through a job or career, often making our studies our top priority. However, Satan convinces us that we need mountains of cash, that we need complete financial security. Many Christians even lie to ourselves, saying the more financially stable we are, the more we’ll be able to give to and serve the church.

What usually ends up happening looks much like the story of the rich farmer who stored all of his grain in bigger and bigger barns, only to die and thus lose everything12.

We build up defenses and safeguards so that in the case of emergencies we will be able to get by. We forget that God promises that He will provide for our daily needs13 just as He did for the Israelites as they wandered

the wilderness for forty years14. Instead we look for instant gratification instead of taking comfort in the sure promise of God’s provision.

We are promised so much more than what the world can offer us, but Satan makes us doubt God’s words. The very first thing recorded from his mouth is, “Did God actually say…15” From the very beginning he encourages doubt in the word and promises of God. He shrouds in darkness things that are supposed to be clear and of God, placing us in a grayish region of ambiguity our generation is so fond of. However, in these matters where the stakes are literally life and death, we cannot afford to be unsure.

1. Matthew 28:19 ESV 2. John 8:44 ESV 3. Revelation 12:9 ESV 4. 2 Corinthians 11:14 ESV 5. Matthew 4 6. Mark 8:36 ESV 7. 1 Peter 5:8 ESV 8. Lewis, C.S. The Screwtape Letters 9. John 14:30 ESV 10. Genesis 1:31, Timothy 4:4 ESV 11. Genesis 1:28 ESV 12. Luke 12:16-21 ESV 13. Philippians 4:19 ESV 14. Exodus 19 ESV 15. Genesis 3:1 ESV Solomon is a third-year English major both humbled and empowered by God’s great and steadfast promise.

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Unavoidable Confrontation Jonathan Chen, STAFF WRITER ast semester, when my freshmen year was coming to an end, a lot of upperclassmen told me to make the most out of the few weeks that was left – because sophomore year was going to suck. Their number one reason was usually something along the lines of the difficulties of dealing with apartment mates.

Now that I, too, am living in an apartment, I’m starting to see just what they meant.

Not too long ago, my friend told me that his apartment flooded a second time. Usually, this situation by itself is pretty bad, but what bothered him more was that one of his roommates not only managed to pretend not to notice the hardwood floor was covered with water, but also proceeded to go back to his room and watch comedy videos; he even called other people over just to see how funny they were.

“I want to bring up his lack of ownership and responsibility to him,” my friend concluded, “but I don’t know how to confront him without seeming harsh or judgmental.”

My friend’s dilemma is not unique: indeed, many of us have a hard time confronting those close to us because it’s a painful and vulnerable experience.

We prefer to passively deal with these situations – appearing sufficiently content while shelving away our true thoughts and emotions. However, if we just bottle up our feelings of frustration and fail to address these issues in an effective and timely manner, unresolved indignation can quickly turn into tension, bitterness, and resentment.

But how? It seems intolerant and perhaps even unbiblical for us to openly criticize and be angry at our friends, even if what they do is clearly inconsiderate. Isn’t Christianity all about loving and being kind to one another?

When Jesus entered the temple and saw the house of the Lord cluttered with merchants and money-changers (John 2:13-17), he didn’t resolve

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the issue by trying to make small talk with them and then politely bringing up, as an aside, “Oh, uh, by the way, I don’t think you should be selling animals here.” No! The Bible makes it very clear that when Jesus saw a holy place of worship being disrupted by these men, he busted out a whip, drove the merchants out, poured out all their money, and started flipping tables. On the surface, what Jesus did appears destructive, confrontational, and even wrong.

Yet, what was at stake? At stake was the purity of the Lord’s temple. His anger stemmed from a heart focused on God; Jesus was filled with zeal for the protection and sanctity of God’s house and filled with frustration at God’s holiness being disrupted by these peddlers. His observations accompanied his timely and much-needed wrath that was tempered by proper control and focus. And as a result of his decisive action, Jesus accomplished what was in accordance with God’s will and restored the holiness of the temple.

Likewise, if we too, witness our brothers and sisters being complacent, or selfish, or acting against the will of God, and if our heart is burdened with grief, burdened with the desire to see them grow closer to Christ and grow closer to one another, then we must prayerfully take bold and deliberate action to challenge them. These kinds of confrontations might seem like unwanted conflict and pain, but they will allow us to become vulnerable with ourselves and open about the truths of the darkness of our hearts. In the end, the more we experience this, the more we will be convicted of both the depth of our broken and sinful nature and the depth of God’s love and mercy for us, despite all that we are.

Jonathan is a second-year statistics and economics major experiencing first-hand iron sharpening iron as he lives in an apartment this year.

The Labyrinth of Suffering “How will we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering? – A.Y.” Jackie Lee, STAFF WRITER n his novel, Looking for Alaska, John Green uses Simon self-centered and victimize yourself. To make everything about Bolivar’s famous quote, “Damn it, how will I ever get out you. It is so easy to fall into this circular mindset yet we cannot of this labyrinth”2 to pose two thought provoking questions. forget the Truth. That through the suffering you are producing What is the labyrinth he is referring to? How is someone supposed character and character produces hope and God promises us that to escape from it? Green’s character Alaska Young answers both. hope is not in vain because God’s love covers us. “For God so The labyrinth that Simon Bolivar refers to is not the labyrinth loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever of life and death, but a labyrinth of suffering. If so, then how believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”3 (NIV) and does one find a way out of the never-ending maze that is pain that ultimate sacrifice is evidence of the magnitude of His love. and suffering? Suffering seems infinite and manifests itself in It is an overflowing love that covers us completely. It is what we continuously in unexpected ways. With this bleak promise of an receive as the result of our suffering, and for that we must find joy. eternity of pain, how would one escape? Alaska Young’s answer There was a moment in my life where I doubted God. I doubted was simple, “Straight and Fast,” and this got me thinking. As a his existence and asked myself over and over again, “Does God Christian, how should I answer this question? If the labyrinth is a really exist?” And even through the lowest point of my spiritual representation of suffering, how do I propose we get out of the journal, I was shrouded by his grace. When everything seemed endless suffering that is life? The answer is we don’t. As Christians, to be going wrong, somehow—miraculously—everything became we don’t strive to leave the labyrinth. We take joy in the fact that right. Whether it was my struggle with friends, struggle with my we are in it. family’s finances, or the struggle for my future; just when things Romans 5:3-5 puts it simply, “More than that, we rejoice in seemed impossible to fix, God came in at the very last second and our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and resolved all my problems one by one. Even in the darkest times of endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and suffering, He was there as if He was begging me to open my eyes. hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been And when I did, it was extraordinary. The greatness of His love. poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given He had continued to love me even when I betrayed him. How to us” (ESV). Of course, this is easier said than done. Everyone could I ever forget such a love? Even if I am struggling, there will on this earth suffers in his or her own way. To every single person, always be the light of God’s love shining through that labyrinth to just as their fingerprints are uniquely theirs, so are their struggles. show me the way. I wish to tell Alaska Young, the way to escape Whether it is physical pain, emotional pain, or spiritual warfare, the labyrinth of suffering is not straight and fast. The way is to no one will truly understand what anyone else is going through rejoice in the journey for you are not alone. God’s love will follow because we have not shared the same level of experience as you until the ends of the earth and then beyond. anyone else. Because this is the case, it is so easy to shut yourself off from the rest of the world because there isn’t anyone that Jacqueline Lee is a third year history major constantly moved by the magnitude could possibly feel what you feel and hurt as you hurt. To become of His love.

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The P a i n of privilegE David Park, CONTRIBUTING WRITER oughly two years ago, the Occupy Wall Street protest began in Zucotti Park near New York City’s financial district.

The movement gained traction nationally by raising unspoken issues of social and economic inequality with the most salient one being wealth distribution in the United States.1 “We are the 99%” was the familiar cry of protestors as they championed the cause of the “common man” of America while demonizing the 1% for their corporate greed, undue political influence, and flat-out meanness for not playing nice and sharing their wealth.

However, to understand a percentage one needs to know both the numerator and the denominator. Sure, many Occupy protestors may have been part of the 99% in the United States by making less than $370,000 of adjusted gross income per year,2 but what if the denominator consisted of the entire human race instead of just Americans?

Well, it turns out that most of the protestors would indeed be the “global elite” as many had incomes higher than $37,000 per year.3 Given that about 900 million people live on $1.25 per day,4 it is understandable why Americans with a median income of $51,0175 by and large are members of the global 1%. One could even say that Occupy America has existed for centuries; instead of a series of protests, it has been waves of immigration both legally and illegally.

To bring this issue closer to home, Berkeley students by definition have been, currently are, and will be the global elite. We attend an elite institution (read: no Berkeley inferiority complex here6) that provides an elite education that helps us secure an elite career trajectory, which in turn will place plenty of us in the American 1%. Approximately 6.7% of the world has a college degree,7 and an even smaller number graduate from the top universities. Berkeley – no matter what Berkeley students tell themselves – is a premier university by any standard in the world. Because of this privilege, there are generally two ways Christians at Berkeley come to grips with this reality: the path characterized by guilt and the path characterized by obligation.

An individual who walks down the path characterized by guilt will look at the statistics above and feel guilty. This type of Christian often simulates thought experiments regarding what life would have been like if they were “radical” followers of Christ. Perhaps, they say, they would not have attended university at all and thrown off all financial, social, and professional concerns. But, they instead listened to their parents, “reason,” or the wisdom of the times and ended up at Berkeley.

When confronted by the impoverished of the world, the homeless around Berkeley, or any other reminder of the less privileged, they feel terribly inadequate and ill-deserving. This is heightened particularly when they compare their faith to the faith of their persecuted Brothers and Sisters overseas or those homeless Christians who are “truly” living by faith. Within this paradigm, there is an unspoken idolization and idealization of financial hardships and suffering. This is a form of poverty theology, a Christian perspective that “considers those who are poor [and suffering] to be more righteous than those who are rich and [relatively comfortable]” and “honors those who choose to live in poverty as particularly devoted to God.”8 The path of guilt runs parallel to “Suck-It-Up” avenue. Because I am not 1) poor, 2) persecuted to death, and/or 3) suffering extraordinarily in some way, the reasoning goes, I should be a) able to handle this and b) not consider what I am going through as a big deal – as if when we come to God with our problems, He would say, “LOL! First world problems much?” Such a view of Jesus makes us, Western Christians, turn the trials of the first world into something trivial. Many times we may not face dramatic and traumatic experiences (though these occurrences are certainly not uncommon).9 More likely we face death by a thousand paper cuts: relatively small instances of pain and hurt that slowly accumulate as we continue to brush them off our shoulders. We may now know how much we’ve suffered until we find ourselves all of a sudden overwhelmed and at the end of our ropes. To put it simply, Christians on the path of guilt generally feel that the cross is always heavier and borne better on the other side: someone else has got it worse than me – and they’re doing more for Jesus with their life.

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Others take the path characterized by obligation. Those on this path tend to try to get the most out of life as if they have to show their appreciation for their unearned privilege and prove that they did not let it go to waste. They do this through quantifying their experiences – x units of class, y number of extracurriculars, z hours invested in however we define ministry. There is a fixation on producing tangible results.

Just like when we were told we were special snowflakes in kindergarten, the rhetoric of this path is hyperbole. There tends to be a view that simply going to Berkeley will make us worldchangers, planet-shakers, and history-makers. Indeed, our lives will impact others and change the course of eternity; however, it is incredibly naïve to simultaneously hold that all of us will affect culture on a macro-scale. Whereas the path of guilt undermined our contribution to society, the path of obligation overestimates our impact – mostly because if we feel indebted by our privilege, we have a need to prove that we were a worthwhile investment in God’s portfolio.

But, what happens when we find ourselves stuck at a job we hate? What becomes of life when some of us forego career to stay at home with the kids? Does this mean God loves us less because it seems like He’s using us less – or, God forbid, did we miss our chance? Perhaps, this is one of the reasons Christians have such a hard time transitioning to young adult life and find themselves deeply discontented. It was not like anything they expected because we painted a specific picture of a life of influence and success and anything short of that seems like failure.

By conflating faithfulness to God with how much we impact the world, we are setting up many Christians for disappointment. At the end of the day, this is a form of prosperity theology that espouses that “those who are affluent [or successful] [are] being rewarded by God because of their faith.”10 Both ways of approaching privilege miss the grace of God. Grace explains how and why we received the privilege that others did not: because God sovereignly chose to despite the fact that we did not deserve it. Sociologist Pierre Bourdieu argued that social and cultural capital, which are intangible resources that children inherit from their parents that affect how they speak and think, determine who ends up in positions of power in society (like getting into Berkeley).11 As unconventional as it may sound, Jesus used this as an avenue of grace to bless us. We received economic, social, and cultural capital along with opportunity that we neither earned nor deserved. However, without such gifts we would not be where we are today. But, that does not mean He loves us more or less than anyone else!

There is no moral quality to whether we were born rich or poor, privileged or not-so-much, woman or man. It is not because we are such great people that God had us born with privilege. We are not better or worse people based on our birth status; that is

the mistake Jesus corrected when His disciples asked who sinned when a person was born blind – the child or the parents. He made it clear that it was neither because it was ultimately God who places where and how each one of us is born.

The point is that God’s gifts are freeing and life-giving to those He blesses. As a good Father, God loves to give good gifts to His children. We should not feel guilty about receiving His gifts because that would be akin to feeling guilty about God loving us.

Feeling like we have received too much and others too little would be like telling God that He is not very loving – something most of us don’t believe! Moreover, His gifts come with no strings attached. God is not an investment banker. He is not necessarily looking for a return on investment because through Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection He always loves and accepts His children, regardless of their performance. Thus, we have no pressure to prove ourselves because we are already successful in Christ and this reality opens us to serving Jesus in all capacities – even in ways that are considered lowly. Taken together, we can live our lives as a part of the global elite – humbled for we have received by grace, appreciative of the opportunity Jesus has afforded us, and excited and unashamed to use our talents for His glory and the betterment of His world.

1. Sledge, Matt. “Reawakening The Radical Imagination: The Origins Of Occupy Wall Street.”The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 10 Nov. 2011. Web. 26 Oct. 2013 2. Fact, In. “What It Takes to Get into the Top 1%.” CNNMoney. Cable News Network, 20 Nov. 2012. Web. 26 Oct. 2013.

3. Kenny, Charles. “Foreign Policy Magazine.” Foreign Policy. N.p., Mar.-Apr. 2012. Web. 26 Oct. 2013 4. Ibid.

5. Hargreaves, Steve. “Poverty Rate 15%, Median Income $51,017.” CNNMoney.

Cable News Network, 17 Sept. 2013. Web. 26 Oct. 2013.

6. This is the strange phenomenon where many Berkeley students undervalue Berkeley even though most of the undergraduate programs are in the top 5 in the nation 7. Finnegan, Leah. “6.7% Of World Has College Degree.” The Huffington Post.

TheHuffingtonPost.com, 19 May 2010. Web. 26 Oct. 2013.

8. Driscoll, Mark. “The Theology of Rich and Poor.” The Resurgence. Web. 26 Oct. 2013.

9. ½ of our parents are divorced, 17% of men and 25% of women are or will be victims of sexual assault, etc.

10. Driscoll, “The Theology of Rich and Poor.”

11. Bourdieu, Pierre. “The Forms of Capital.” Readings In Economic Sociology (1986): 280-91. Print.

David J Park is a junior studying Business Administration, leveraging his undeserved privilege to be the special snowflake Jesus made him to be and change the world. He attends Reality SF, and hopes to plant a church after working a couple of years in business.

Fall 2013 | To An Unknown God 13

Yearning for Heaven Looking around at the world today, the earth cries out shrieks of despair at the pervading darkness of every corner. But I cannot live on without faith that a perfect world awaits.

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Lauren Cho, STAFF WRITER always forget to ask for corn on my Chipotle burritos – and if you’re anything like me, you understand when I say that that is a tragedy. On July 19th, 2013, however, I made a specific point to get a sprinkle of those sweet little bursts of flavor; and praise the Lord that I did, for only He could’ve known just how much tragedy I’d be able to handle in one night. Just settling in with my small group to dig into Ephesians, I stepped aside to take a brief call from my mom – one that would quickly redefine the word tragedy from its petty uses to the stark realities of heartache. For on that warm summer evening from 3,000 miles away, I was informed of the horrific car crash that would take the lives of both my aunt and nine-year-old cousin, Sidney.

This last summer, I spent nine weeks in Virginia Beach with 59 other Christian students from across the country to do ministry together on the local beachfront. We partook in various outreach events, meeting strangers and making conversation about spirituality, life and death. I was transformed through these experiences as the students around me poured truth into my life and with each passing day I learned more about who I am, who God is, and who I am through Him. Living with and learning from these people, I bore witness to the love, joy, and hope found in a community of believers rooted in the truths of the Bible. On that vivid, yet surreal night at Chipotle however, my focus was jolted. In that brief conversation, I learned that the joyful smile I’d spent the prior summer nannying had died on impact in a head-on collision with a semi-truck loaded with hay bales. My world was shaken by the unsettling simplicity of death, a confrontation I was yet to process on a personal level. I cried out to God with indignation for the little girl who’d come to see me at school for her birthday that spring. I grieved the passionate vivacity that had exuded from the little thing – her vibrant personality and brilliant sense of humor – all bottled up 14 To An Unknown God | Fall 2013

in the precious child I’d watched grow. Picturing her in the Blue and Golden Bear shirt I’d given her for Christmas, I mourned the sharp mind that would’ve joined the ranks of some top university – oh, if she’d been given the time.

Despite the tragedy though and all that had left me speechless before the God who had torn Sidney from my world, I found peace in knowing that she was by His side. I spent that weekend in the prayer room we had constructed at the motel we were living in and in that 48-hour period, I experienced Jesus in the most real way that I ever have in my 15-year walk with Him. I spent hours in His presence and He drew near to me through the comfort of His promises; as I turned to Him in desperation, He filled me with the confidence that He was in control. Once again, this community I’d found myself a part of embraced me in the love of Christ and was the encouragement I needed through such terrible circumstances. Isolated and alone while my parents, sisters, and cousins mourned altogether; my siblings in Christ drew near, embodying God’s love as ears to listen and a shoulder to cry on.

A week later, upon the discovery of my aunt’s subsequent passing, I made the decision to return home eight days before the close of the summer-long program. I was distraught to leave behind these relationships that had forever impacted my life – especially knowing full-well that the chances of seeing these people again were slim. But my options were few and over the distance, the deep sorrow of my loved ones beckoned me to return home too.

Soon after my return to California, I found myself back at Berkeley watching summer’s last sun disappear over the Pacific. The rush of a family wedding and my return to school overshadowed much of the closure that I’d longed for, despite my few goodbyes at the funeral. As I reflect now on my summer though and the turmoil of saying goodbye to so many people that have been so significant in my life, I’ve made many realizations

about myself and the broken state of this world. Firstly, we as human beings were made for community. The God of the universe walked in the garden with Adam and Eve and He Himself holds a constant and perfect community with the Son and Holy Spirit. Jesus’ last prayer before He was lead to the cross was that “all of them may be one” – for us, the modern church, to be of one body – a community in His name (John 17:20 NIV).

Yet we exist in a broken world, made incomplete in our selfish pursuit to live our own way. The human condition created the chasm that shattered this perfect relationship with our loving and heavenly father. But all hope is not lost, for there is good news too: God had a plan to draw us back to Him and to restore the glorious relationship that we broke off with Him in the beginning of time. He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to live the perfect life that we never could and to die in our place. “For the wages of sin (imperfection) is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23 NIV). And all we have to do is acknowledge our own brokenness and accept this free gift by faith (Ephesians 2:8-9).

And despite all the pain and the suffering and the tragedy and the turmoil, God pains to see us in pain. In the freak accident and mystery that drove my aunt to veer across the center divider on the highway that midsummer’s night, it would be easy to find bitterness in my heart and doubts that a benevolent, almighty God does exist. But in the same way, I find it harder not to believe in the hope that there is a better place to look forward to than the world that we know. Looking around at the world today, the earth cries out shrieks of despair at the pervading darkness of every corner. But I cannot live on without faith that a perfect world awaits. God’s plan was never to hurt us, but that we might “have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10 ESV). His plan all along was to rescue us from ourselves, to bring us back into wholesome,

complete relationship with Him – spending the rest of eternity together.

In late September, I went on Fall Retreat with my campus fellowship and sitting on my bunk under the damp, dripping Redwoods of the Santa Cruz mountains, I remember yearning for heaven in the most genuine way that I’ve ever known. I craved, desired, longed with my soul for the coming of the King and the perfect peace found in His Kingdom. My soul cried out to return to that taste of eternity that I experienced in Virginia – that community that had been the tangible body of Christ to me when tragedy had struck. I longed to see Sidney, to hear her loud cackling laughter, brush my fingertips through her thin, golden hair. I yearned for the everlasting joy, peace and satisfaction found in God’s presence alone. For this community that I miss so much every day, was only that – a taste of the real thing. And while God indeed blesses us with each other to learn, grow, and live together as one body, the joys of fellowship are the fruits of knowing Him – not the purpose behind our existence. To miss my friends and mourn my family are natural experiences of life here on earth, but they remind me too, that there is so much more waiting ahead where the glories of heaven shine brighter than anything we could ever imagine. Heaven is the epitome – definition – of perfection and although we don’t know exactly what it will look like, amidst all the heartache and brokenness that surrounds us, there is so much hope in knowing that this is not where we belong.

“I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.” – Psalm 118:17 Lauren Cho is a second year Linguistics major with a heart for puns, Nutella, and minesweeper.

Fall 2013 | To An Unknown God 15

Micaela Walker, STAFF WRITER ’ve heard it said that comedy is simply tragedy with an extra scene.1 It’s an intriguing concept that what distinguishes a happy ending from a sorrowful demise is often only one final scene. So what if we extend the metaphor? Human existence is plagued by unavoidable pain. Few of us feel we have a truly meaningful purpose for living. Our happiest moments are fleeting.

It all sounds rather tragic.

But what if we allow God to write an extra scene? The Bible is a book full of stories in which God writes a final scene and beauty arises from pain. And the scenes God writes are pretty unbelievable. Wicked sons are welcomed home with feasts, prostitutes become prophet’s wives, and Christ’s murderers inherit the kingdom of heaven. It all sounds pretty unbelievable and maybe even comical. It’s in these moments, though, that God’s character is made most evident. Because he saves us through our tragedy.

But is our existence really so bad that we need an extra scene? There are so many things that make life worth living—the chocolate croissants from Free Speech Movement (mmm), Mumford & Sons music, Cal games in the student section, golden sunsets over the Bay. But I’m afraid that if we measure these somewhat fleeting pleasures with the inevitability of death and the preponderance of suffering it becomes hard to justify living for these things alone.

I recently started reading the “Death and Dying” section of the New York Times opinion page (Warning: don’t do this while in public—you will break into tears, people will give you uncomfortable and sympathetic glances) and it’s interesting that in a paper famous for its diverse viewpoints there’s a rare symmetry to the opinion section (even among commenters, which is incredibly rare in our argument-driven internet culture) when people talk about death. The articles often present similar themes: we don’t ponder death until it gradually starts creeping up on us, along with aging come ailments and loss of independence, the fear of death is debilitating; then you die. And for those authors who reflect upon being left behind there is the universally strange experience that the living, laughing, breathing someone they loved has abruptly stopped existing.

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We all agree that the whole process really sucks. Even though it’s the most natural of processes and happens to everyone, there’s a consensus that it actually feels like the most un-natural thing in the world. In this modern age we’re supposed to have resigned ourselves to the processes of living and dying, “all are from the dust, and to dust all return,” so why is the Circle of Life so intuitively uncomfortable for us?

Intuitions do not equal fact statements, though, so maybe it is natural that we exist, persist and are extinguished. In which case we should probably spend the precious short amount of time we have doing meaningful things. Unfortunately this is easier said (and sung about) than done. The things we consider the highest pleasures sound hollow when they are measured against death.

Reading Dostoevsky and going to the symphony aren’t activities we can build our lives around. The wise author of Ecclesiastes understood that even our intellectual pursuits are ultimately fruitless, “For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow” and in the end “for the wise as of the fool there is no enduring remembrance.” If we dedicate ourselves to developing a 401k, crafting the perfect skin-care routine and curating an immaculate wardrobe, or even trying to sculpt perfect children, what will any of it be worth in the end? Our most noble selfless pursuits like volunteering and helping others through sacrificial service won’t last past maybe one generation after we’re gone. The wise as well as the fool, the rich as well as the poor, the kind as well as the cruel will die all the same!

So, if death is inescapable and life is meaningless, why not just YOLO2 it up? Well, after indulging in quite a bit of hedonism of his own (“whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure”) the author of Ecclesiastes*3 concluded that it was all vanity and a striving after the wind. But he also discovered that “whatever God does endures forever.” So if God did create the universe and also created each of us, it means we have a link to eternity. But if God is out there, mightn’t he be angry at how we humans have wrecked a lot of His creation?

We’ve pillaged and plundered the earth’s resources, we’ve cheated, abused, and hated one another and in so doing He’s probably pretty offended.

The Bible tells us that, in fact, he’s heartbroken. Because our sins haven’t just hurt one another, they’ve hurt Him. In the book of Hosea, God compares our rebellion from Him to an adulterous

wife who whores herself out to other lovers for sustenance all the while forgetting her husband loves her and has provided for her all along. In the parable of the prodigal son he says that we’re like a child who has taken an early inheritance from his father, gone to a foreign land and squandered it in reckless living. He’s heartbroken and angry because His beloved have decided to go their own way instead of remaining faithful to Him. What he should do is divorce us, disown us, forget us. That would be tragic but what we deserve.

Instead, he writes us an extra scene.

When the whoring wife turned back to her husband he betrothed her to himself forever. When the prodigal son humbly went back to his father begging for mercy, he was greeted with compassion—a hug, a kiss, and a feast. And the Christ-killers, well, they’re us. Our extra scene has already been written. About 2,000 years ago God did something unfathomable for us. He put down His power and glory and became a human. Our very awesome Creator entered human history in order to reach us. Jesus Christ was fully man and fully God and through his substitutionary death, he received the punishment we rightly deserved for our sin and we received His righteousness that we never could have gotten ourselves. Why did He do it? Why would He write an extra scene? Because He loves us. It’s mysterious because if you look deep enough inside yourself you’ll see that there isn’t much of anything lovable about who you are. But God demonstrated His love for us in this, while we were still nasty, messed-up, broken sinners He wrote the extra scene.

Now what He asks of us is that we believe in Him and hand over our tragedy in favor of his divine authorship. Because when we believe in Jesus, the link to our Heavenly Father is restored and he promises us eternal life. Instead of mourning our tragedy we can live joyfully, as sinners forgiven and saved.

1. Although, this may have only been my high school English teacher misquoting the great comedian Steve Allen, there’s quite a lengthy discussion on the origins of this quote at: http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/06/25/comedy-plus/ 2. You Only Live Once, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/YOLO_%28motto%29 3. If the author of Ecclesiastes was, as most believe, King Solomon, then he indulged in quite a bit of pleasure, like, 200 wives worth of pleasure.

Micaela Walker is a second-year English major who has nearly completed her quest to visit each library and every coffee shop in Berkeley.

Fall 2013 | To An Unknown God 17

Peace in the Unending STORM

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Meriah Barajas, CONTRIBUTING WRITER ain. Before I knew God, my life was full of it. I’ve realized that even now with God, there is still much of its presence in my life.

Before I knew God, my life was marked with the pain that others inflicted upon it. Abandonment, verbal abuse, disappointment. My dad left when I was 7, we lost contact with him when I was 12 and I haven’t talked to him since. Some of my very best friends who said they cared about me left. Boyfriends said they cared and left; everyone who said they cared left. Most of my friendships lacked respect and true genuine love. My relationship with my mom was never strong, and most of our time was spent throwing hurtful words around. I felt alone. I didn’t really know why I deserved to feel so neglected and disappointed when I had such a big heart. I felt that I didn’t matter, because not many people I cared about seemed to stick around.

My mom, however, was the one who had stayed with my brother and I our whole lives despite my dad leaving.

I remember specifically a time when my mom and I were in the biggest argument of my existence. It’s something that stands out so vividly in my mind; a moment when pain was unbearable. She didn’t want to see me, hear me, or deal with me. I cried everyday; I cried during school, at home, even at basketball practice. I felt that the only parent that was still around was giving up on me just like my dad

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and everyone else had. I wrote my mom a letter and told her how hurt I was. I recently looked back on the letter and I read a line that said, “Sometimes I just lay on my bed not wanting to move because I can feel myself falling apart.” I broke down and cried after I read it. Partly because I remember the way I felt in those days, and also because I knew that the girl who had lain there in her room, needed a Savior. She was at her lowest, with disappointment piled on disappointment, and needed hope, needed someone who could take her life and flip it upside-down.

My heart broke for that hopeless girl. Remarkably enough, I remember reading something else I wrote during the time this was going on. The scene is written as so: I couldn’t move laying there on my bed. I didn’t feel the need to move. I just cried, but in my mind I knew I needed to get up. I had to call someone-anyone. I felt so empty clutching the cross I was wearing around my neck and I just remember thinking, ‘I don’t want to keep living this nightmare.’ As if the cross gave me some kind of life, I lifted myself off of the bed and went to go lay down with my puppy which we recently rescued. Somehow I felt like that’s exactly where I needed to be. She too had been abandoned, the way that I had felt for so long. It made me feel that one day someone would save me, the way I saved her; out of true genuine love, and for want of helping a soul in need. As she licked my tears, I felt like she was telling me to hold on, for my Savior had not given up, but was yet to come.

I didn’t know why I thought of this as my puppy licked away my tears. I had a tiny hope, in the darkness that consumed me. I couldn’t understand it; I had experienced this, and had written it down way before I even knew what God could do for me. It’s as if God was telling me to hold on and that something great was in store.

About a month later, I started to get to know God thanks to a friend who led me in His direction, and from that day forward, the girl whom pain immobilized no longer walked this earth. To this day, the grace of God never ceases to amaze me, and to this day He is the most amazing thing in my life.

I realized my worth to God. I realized I was loved, irrevocably and immeasurably. My Savior didn’t fail me. Jesus came into my darkness and scooped me out of there. He saved me from the deepest depths of myself.

No matter what dark hallway you stand in, no matter what pain you face, there is hope. Trust in these words: when you have nothing left, God is there, ready to give you more. When the world fails you, when the ones you love most abandon you, when you feel like you’re losing yourself, and your grip on humanity, it means that God is about to start working.

Honestly, I have nothing good to offer God, but what I have, I will give to Him. Simply because He loved me enough to have His eye on me even when I wanted nothing to do with Him. That’s

why salvation is free; because His love can’t be earned. Love poured out on that cross, and freedom is there for anyone who reaches out, and that is the reason I am writing this today. We just have to recognize that we need Him, and that we can’t do it alone.

Stop doing it alone.

Even after I realized the love of God and found the missing piece, I still felt pain. If my life were to be lived right from here on out, by truly following Christ, then it wouldn’t be all rainbows and butterflies; it wouldn’t be a walk in the park. I found that life as a Christian doesn’t make life easier; it makes life worth it. I still felt hurt by the rude things people would say; I’d still feel sad when people walked out of my life. However, I knew that I had God. That God was never going to abandon me, never going to leave me there lying on the floor. That was my cushion to every fall; the fact that my God would love me more than anyone else could, and more so, when no one else would.

My heart has since been burdened for those who don’t know God, who go through worse measures of pain than I had, and see no end in sight. Those who feel so alone, the way that painstricken girl had lain on her bed, not wanting to move. I saw myself in so many people. I saw people feeling the way I had felt and thought that keeping God to myself would be such a selfish thing. To just tell someone that they were forever loved by a God who went so far as to sacrifice His son to know them could save a person’s life. I always remember the way God saved me, because He truly saved me. It’s my motivation to tell others that there is hope, no matter what pain, no matter what circumstances they face. God is God. Nothing is too hard for Him to handle, and nothing we do can scare Him away. Even now, after being saved, I’m a mess. But I’m God’s mess.

So if now, in this moment, you’re facing something you just can’t handle, something you can’t seem to move past, then stop and give it to God. Heck, give Him your life while you’re at it, and He will do wonders with that mess of yours. We mess up constantly—it’s the reason we have a Savior.

Giving my life to God was the best decision I ever made.

Since then, my life has been so much richer, and I’ve had a real reason to keep going. So yes, my life is still full of pain, but it is also full of an even greater hope; hope that people will be victorious in this world, that they will find the love of God. Hope that one day there will be no more pain or tears. So I’m holding on to God. Through whatever storms I face, He is going to be there: defending me, protecting me, and lifting me up. He wants to do the same for you. Never forget, peace is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of God. Mariah Barajas is a first year UC Berkeley student.

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Joshua Joo, STAFF WRITER an pain be prevented? Jesus famously states in Matthew 5:38-39: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for an eye and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.1” This passage does not directly address pain but to novelist and Christian thinker, Leo Tolstoy, this passage made all the difference.

After his conversion to Christianity, Tolstoy wrote his magnum opus The Kingdom of God is Within You2. Named after the passage in Luke 17:28, here Tolstoy outlines his beliefs and interpretations of Jesus Christ’s teachings – Tolstoy believed in a literal interpretation of Jesus’s teachings. What emerges from this text is Tolstoy’s principle of non-violent resistance, one that would famously influence great figures in history, particularly Mohandas Gandhi. Tolstoy strongly believed Jesus forbid any form of violence and rejected any doctrine or interpretation that believed otherwise, including serving one’s country during times of war or even employing violence in selfdefense. His view can be summed up as “… oppose evil by every righteous means in our power, but not by evil.3” A righteous man’s response to evil should not be more evil. An eye for an eye certainly does seem fair, but does this not only perpetuate pain and suffering?

If all suffering is bad and the greatest amount of suffering is to be prevented, then preventing two men from suffering is preferable to preventing the suffering of only one man. If this is accepted, then if one man causes suffering unto another is it not moral for the wronged man to end the suffering there instead of perpetuating it by retaliation? This is where fairness and morality begin to part.

Suffering and pain are often creations of man, and this is what Tolstoy’s interpretation of Christ led him. When one man wrongs another, the wronged man’s natural response is to retaliate. Why? To achieve fairness. Men cannot tolerate what is unfair. But Jesus Christ was subject to suffering and pain. He was wronged unfairly, accused and punished for a crime He did not commit. What he experienced was not fair under any sense of the word. And yet, He did not attempt to retaliate or even defend Himself. He even went as far as to teach his followers to “turn the other cheek4” and “love [their] enemies.5” The Gospel message in itself is unfair – man could never do anything to earn his way into heaven and yet a holy and almighty God offered it as a gift out of love and grace. The unfair suffering of Jesus remains at the heart of the Gospel – the punishment for sin is death yet Jesus Christ, a man without sin, died in the place of man. Instead of destroying man for man’s transgressions against God, Jesus endured pain and suffering in order to end it all out of His love for man.

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And perhaps this is what he calls mankind to do – in order to end the pain and suffering in the world, man must endure it out of love.

If a man is wronged, he must not retaliate. If left unchecked, pain has a ripple effect – once it starts, it continues in every direction without stopping. Retaliation is only fair. It is widely accepted that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. It is only natural. But nothing about the Gospel is natural. God created man in His image to worship Him, yet man rebelled and rejected God’s will. This is sin in its simplest form – a rejection of God’s will. The Bible makes it clear that the punishment for sin is death.

Much of the Old Testament is dedicated to recording all the various sins Israel, God’s chosen people, committed over the course of hundreds of years. And because of man’s inability to change and fully conquer sin, God sent his one and only son as a sacrifice in man’s place, setting man free.

Suffering, pain, and even war are all around us; they have become a normal part of life. Yet none of these things are ever desirable, so why do we accept it? Instead of combating these forces, we are guilty of perpetuating them, usually in the name of fairness. If someone wrongs me, it is only fair I wrong them back. And yet, this is precisely why pain exists. Jesus Christ who appeared on this earth promising salvation broke this never ending cycle by refusing to create pain. On the contrary, He absorbed as much of it as He could to break the cycle there just because He loved us. Perhaps the way to prevent war and pain is just that – love. What is love?

Many would describe it as feelings of affection and adoration. But the Biblical account takes it further by portraying it as the stage of a relationship wherein one man would willingly lose his life to see the one he loves live. If this is love and this is the answer, then the rest is simple. Love your enemies and those who wrong you. The Bible makes it clear that, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.6” Endure the pain they inflict to stop it from rippling. Die for them so that they might see the truth and be saved.

1. Matthew 5:38-39 NIV 2. Tolstoy, Leo. The Kingdom of God is Within You. 1894. Web. 3. Ibid.

4. Matthew 5:38-39 NIV 5. Matthew 5:44 NIV 6. John 15:13 NIV Josh Joo is a second year studying political science in hopes of creating a world that has renounced violence so he can conquer the planet with just a butter knife.

To Curse, To Sing

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Christy Kim, CONTRIBUTING WRITER he thinks, as her fingers tremble around the cigarette and feels Dong-hee’s scrutiny, that in that moment, no one could’ve possibly hated her more than herself.

Dive straight into the lz, fix that blackbox, fatigued in fatigues and passing around pills that’ll do the magic, keep you up and awake for an enemy that never shows – all that’s just talk. No amount of talking can – although there’s a sick fascination with it, yes? That he’ll become a man, finally see what that ruckus is about but becoming a man can’t be this utter bewilderment, can’t be hopping into a trap with fancy promises and all that jazz for Queen and Country, what they don’t tell you is that he’ll feel it after, when the adrenaline subsides from a flood to a roar.

He’ll tell others afterward that he felt sick, nauseous, etc. Words. In that moment, though, it’s indescribable, something that can never be put into words and therefore can’t be crossed by another person and he becomes his own island. Each of them, like the kid next to him crouching over his calf-less kneecap with belabored breaths, realizes what kind of searing lobotomy they’ve performed upon themselves, to imagine that they could commit an act and still live in the same skin, knowing how to act and breathe.

Now he knows why they swear, under their breath, “ohJesusohJesus pleaseletmelive.”

Someone rounds the corner in the middle of her exhale. Eun-Ji’s posture straightens when she identifies it as Dong-hee’s. She quirks an eyebrow when Donghee casts a glance at the teacher’s windows barely around the corner, aiming to share a silent laugh. Eun-Ji withholds her smile and waits for Dong-hee to come around. She won’t be easy. After Dong-hee shifts in discomfort, Eun-Ji lifts the cig in a casual offer.

Dong-hee, smart girl, doesn’t jump for a smoke – some kids made that mistake, for their first taste, and Eun-Ji had laughed at them afterward with Minwhan and Saeyon – nor does she recoil. Instead she casually bats, “You know I’m not here for that.”

Eun Ji shrugs a shoulder and says, “We want more time.”

Dong-hee slyly peers at her to say, “It can’t be you. Everyone knows you’re the most talented, prepared singer around here.”

“Wanna butter up my throat, too?”

Dong-hee snorts despite herself. “Well, if Minwhan can’t hurry up then some other group plays.”

Eun Ji prevents her body posture from freezing into shock, but Dong-hee might’ve caught her eyes widen for she grins. “Later.”

She waits for Dong-hee to disappear around the corner before she withdraws one deep drag from her cigarette and hears Minwhan’s breath caught in his throat, the first time when he whispered that she sounded like a songbird and why didn’t everyone know? And she’d thought, but my ex-friends at church knew how I sing and they told me to please be quiet; I sound like a strangled bird.

Fall 2013 | To An Unknown God 21

Not man enough, he’d sometimes roar. Too foreign, is this his own boy? Flay into all of those loose limbs and unnatural ears and skin dark like those people strewn across the blast zone. Pretend, too, that they aren’t his wife’s hands wrenching him away, because she’s supposed to be on his side to understand, why won’t anyone understand, will he be misunderstood forever?

It’s night in Daechi-dong. The older men with their pot bellies slink out of the woodwork and gravitate to the stink of meat and beer. Eun-Ji and her band – hers, she thought viciously – have also staggered their way towards a restaurant, working off the practiceinduced delirium. She crosses her fingers and hopes that for every incriminating glance, she had batted her eyelashes coyly enough and forced out her voice just so, played that act of the debutante lead singer well enough that all of her idiot boys couldn’t help but give in.

Minwhan had winced today, but from more than the news of the subtly veiled threat. Eun-Ji saw it in his minced walk and to alleviate his mood she mentions the bunch of geeky-dressed girls that had been walking out of the studio when they arrived for their reservation.

“Hmph. Did you see that white fat girl? Bet they haven’t played at a real venue yet.” She snorts. “Foreigners.”

Oddly, Minwhan seems to seize up at the last part.

“Come on, Minwhan,” Guntae says, jarring his elbow, “You know Eun-Ji’s trying to loosen you up.”

“I don’t understand,” Minwhan rasps, “Why Eun-Ji crits us so when no one’s allowed to crit her voice.”

22 To An Unknown God | Fall 2013

The barbecue’s sizzling drowns in the silence. Saeyon and Guntae exchange glances over the table, jarred by the change in dynamic.

“You saying something about my technique?” She tries to sound arch and amused, but Minwhan seems strangely upset.

“We agreed not to amp up on the smoking. You’ve been smoking twice, thrice the recommended amount of cigs and sometimes your voice croaks-” “Minhwan!”

Minhwan plows on, ignoring Saeyon, “And it doesn’t matter how good your technique is when you’re starting to sound like a frog, doesn’t it?”

Eun-Ji retorts, “Don’t you dare try to blame the extension needed for practice on me, you know that Dong-hee knew that you or whatever you get up to your spare time was holding us back-” She hears a slap before she feels it.

Guntae rubs her arm and guides her away from the table, but not before she notices Minhwan curling up on himself, his horrified expression as unsightly as the bruises briefly revealed by his sleeves rucked upward.

“Minhwan didn’t mean it.”

She glares at Gun-tae, and he says, “Eun-ji, darling, please don’t cry,” which exacerbates her self-loathing for crying and makes her sobs gaspier: she’d promised herself that she’d stop crying after that last time when people teased her voice. She hears a barely audible, “Oh God I can’t handle crying girls, he’sgonnakillme” before he says, “Minhwan’s been having a hard time. At home. Dad thinks he’s a

bastard or something.”

Her tears cease somewhat, winded by the information.

“You know his dad, back from the war. His mother – you should hear it from him, but he’s. It’s hard.”

“But he shouldn’t have taken it out on me!” She sobs harder, and Gun-tae nods his agreement and gives an arm-hug.

Offers her a cig, which elicits fiercer sobs and she pushes it away.

Eun-Ji remembers the pivotal point when her unanswered questions ceased inspiring and became frustrating.

“If the battle’s been won, why do we still have to fight? If we were redeemed, why do we still need to overcome? Why is everything so hard?”

A look of unease passed over her so-called close church buddy. “I don’t know, Eun-Ji, I don’t know.”

Dong-hee watches her warily as the venue finishes. “Come, there’s someone I want you to meet. A good friend of mine.”

The performance must’ve been really mediocre when no one wants to joke about it. Bitterness soaks her memory of the performance, strips it of its glam lights: without her music, she is nothing.

What she sees makes her stop. It’s the youth pastor. Of her former church. As a patron of a bar. She’s caught mid-drag, and glee wars with caution. She searches for a glint of recognition and reminds herself that she’s a far cry from a measly, tinny-voiced girl with a bowlcut who smiled too little and tagged along too much.

She raises her so-called potent eyebrow to convey her idea of friend, when the man says, “Eun-Ji! Good to see you.

Many of your friends miss you.”

The eyebrow goes up again.

“You at a bar? Aren’t you s’posed to be, dunno, righteous?” She finishes her drag when it seems like the man won’t stop with that half-pitying, half-inscrutable stare.

“You used to be good at your theory.”

That draws her up short. She didn’t think people like him noticed. “Hmph, stopped caring. I see a hecka lotta people who need saving, and they sure aren’t.”

Maybe she sounded too flippant over the saving; her throat catches the same way it did when she heard it recorded, and she grasps that maybe yes, the huskiness might be fading into croakiness.

“Look, I’m not even worth your time. Go bother someone else.” She turns her eyes, the cherry drooping in what seems like covert shame, but the pastor comes around again, in her field of vision.

“You’re worth it.”

Pause. A squeak of an amp signals the start of the next set.

“The smoking. Do you wanna stop?”

“Yes.” The answer is unexpected. “No, yes, I don’t know. I know that I can’t. I can’t.”

“You care, but you can’t.”

It’s a close call to cursing the pastor for stripping her raw and ugly, but she walks away, flinging over her shoulder, “If you save Minwhan, then I’ll believe.”

A few hours later, a teary and terrified man lapses out of a dream and stumbles to the kitchen to run into Minwhan’s collapsed form on the sofa. When his son – strange, did he miss the transition from babyish eyes to almost-fey eyelashes?

– jerks awake and freezes, as if he’ll secure his fate as prey by running away, the man clutches the worn fabric instead.

Odd. The boy smells like the smoke in one of the rare lulls, with his men, laughing and exchanging dirty songs around the torchlight. Reluctant warmth embraces a shoulder, and the boy hums a soft melody. It coaxes him to sleep.

“Dong-hee, who’s the Minwhan she was talking about?”

“I see him at school, could bring him to church. She hasn’t repented yet?”

The pastor sighs at her impatience. “It will take time. Let’s pray, once again.”

Their hands clasped in prayer. A switch flicked, unseen, in another part of that web that they glimpsed through Eun-Ji to continue the cascade of events flickering in and out of their respective spheres.

Fall 2013 | To An Unknown God 23

Advent Candle One

Bon Jin Koo, STAFF WRITER y friends and I listened intently to the last of Rabbi’s words. Rabbi was a great teacher we constantly looked to for wisdom.

“That’s all I got for you today, boys.”

“We’re no longer boys, Rabbi,” said Mishael with a grin.

“Before destruction a man’s heart is haughty,” Rabbi said. “But humility comes before honor.”

“Looks like you need some sharpening,” Hananiah joked.

“Shall Azariah and I do the honors?”

“Exhort with honor,” I said, giving Hananiah a glaring look.

“Rabbi, tell us more.”

“Well, if you insist-” “Where is God?” asked Mishael with a sudden solemnness.

“Where is God, Rabbi?”

“Watch your words, Mishael…” Hananiah said.

“What do you mean, my child?”

“As I said before, Rabbi, we are no longer boys,” Mishael said.

“Where is God in this war? We heard enough scripture. We want to hear from you. Did you ever see Him? Hear His voice? Are all the stories we heard as children true?”

Rabbi smiled and pulled out a worn out volume from his shelf.

Mishael frowned.

“It’s not scripture,” Rabbi assured. “Although scripture is always important, I understand what you mean, Mishael.”

Rabbi told us a story of old. When he was a child, he heard a man of God prophesy of time when our country would come to ruin. The sword came to man, woman, and child because of Israel’s sin. Somehow, he found himself to be an exile, a remnant of a once great nation.

“How did you deal with the shame?” I asked.

M

24 To An Unknown God | Fall 2013

“We brought that shame to ourselves as a nation,” Rabbi said.

“Yet you still placed your faith in God?” Mishael asked.

“Yes.” Rabbi’s eyes glimmered with hope, woven with a peace I could not explain.

“Why?” Hananiah asked.

“My father told me of a time when God moved in ways you could not imagine child,” Rabbi said. “Imagine vast armies of powerful nations brought to their knees by a single man. Evil kings who would fight amongst themselves, leaving Israel to clean up the remains. Great banquets and sacrifices held in honor of a living and mighty God.” We all stared at Rabbi, his outstretched arms moving about.

“But most importantly, a God who would draw near to His people despite the mistakes they have made,” said Rabbi, his voice descending like a gentle rain. “A God… no, the God of Creation whose warmth and majesty you could feel.”

Rabbi smiled.

“That is why I can believe in the God of Israel,” Rabbi said.

“We fail to be a righteous people, many times at that… yet he yearns to be at our side. This war is the result of us rejecting him, but I believe you will live to see the day God move powerfully once again.”

“Will he?” I asked. “Even in this time of oppression and humiliation?”

“I believe it.”

We said our goodbyes to Rabbi and made our way to the silent city street. Streetlights cowered under the massive billboard that flashed with millions of colors. The billboards advertised every kind of product imaginable from bowties to weight loss pills.

Each product had its own digital page that displayed for several seconds, usually with scantily clad men or women depending on the product. A large, golden “N” gleamed occasionally between ads as well. I sighed.

“ALL HAIL KING NEBUCHADNEZZAR!” boomed an electronic voice.

“ALL HAIL KING NEBUCHADNEZZAR!” “ALL HAIL KING NEBUCHADNEZZAR!” The message echoed down the street with such force the adjacent buildings shimmered with wobbling glass. All the billboards automatically cut to the image of the golden “N.” Hananiah and Mishael looked at me nervously, but I mustered the strength to smile.

The message echoed down the street with such force the adjacent buildings shimmered with wobbling glass. All the billboards automatically cut to the image of the golden “N.” Hananiah and Mishael looked at me nervously, but I mustered the strength to smile.

“Not then, not now,” I said.

“Care to repeat that, Jew?” Guards from every direction melted in from the shadows, pointing their weapons at each of our chests. A young man, not much older than us, came forward with a devilish grin.

“Why are you three not in the position of worship?”

We remained silent. The longer we did, the redder the young man became in complexion.

“The war is long over! Why must you continue to resist and rebel-” “You know our answer, Chaldean,” Hananiah said with a slight hint of nervousness. “Leave us in peace.”

“Tell that to the king,” Chaldean sneered as he gestured at the guards.

The guards jabbed their weapons at our backs, and we followed a giggling Chaldean to the center of the city where the king resided. His building consisted of a gigantic golden N that stretched across city streets and towered the tallest building threefold. We entered knowing we might not come out again.

“So, you refuse to bow to my image?”

I stood before the king himself alongside a silent Hananiah and a fidgeting Mishael.

“I asked you a question, Abednego,” Nebuchadnezzar said.

Memories of the war welled back up in my head. My name, my culture, my people… stripped away like aging bark in the cold winter wind. I stopped myself from crying, “My name is Azariah!

Azariah the Jew!” at the king’s face.

“I see discomfort on your face, Abednego,” Nebuchadnezzar laughed heartily. “Do you not like my new logo? I designed it myself!”

My friends and I remained still.

“After the war, I fed each and every one of you. Clothed you.

Gave you work!” Nebuchadnezzar said. “Your culture! Gone!

Your cities! Gone! Your pride… not entirely gone is it?”

The king continued to boast in his kingdom and his name. His head seemed to bulge larger and larger with excited blood. When he ended his soliloquy, his eyes narrowed into a fiery glare.

“Is it true, O Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the golden image that I have set up? If you do not worship, you shall immediately be cast into a burning, fiery furnace.”

Hananiah and Mishael glanced at me with solemn faces.

“And who is the god who will deliver you out of my hands?”

I nodded. Trust me, my nod said. After my friends gathered the courage, they nodded in return. Hananiah, Mishael, and I answered and said to the king: “Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O King. But if not, be it known to you, O King, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

The king brimmed with fury and ordered the guards to tie my friends and me. He demanded that the furnace be heated seven more times than usual. As we were led to the furnace, Mishael, Hananiah, and I prayed, not out of desperation for own lives but for hope. Hope that the God they believed in for so long would return as the living God to embrace our people.

The furnace glowed blazing hot. I felt the flames hungrily snap at my skin. Strangely, as soon as I thought the flames were too hot to bear, they became warm and comfortable. This must be death, I thought.

“Wait, are we in heaven?” I asked aloud.

A light appeared in our presence, brighter than the scorching fire that surrounded us. We heard Nebuchadnezzar calling out to us but were too dazzled by the light to care. The light began to take shape. Almost like a man. Its presence glowed with a majestic kind of warmth, if warmth could possibly take that quality.

“Well done, boys, well done.”

Mishael’s face glowed with awe, but he quickly composed himself.

“Lord, how can we become men?” Mishael said.

The man smiled back and brought us in closer.

“Continue to view humility in the honorable way that you do,” said the man.

He looked at Hananiah.

“And continue to sharpen each other as well.”

We couldn’t help but laugh as we exited the furnace to a bewildered Nebuchadnezzar.

Fall 2013 | To An Unknown God 25

turn the other cheek

W

Noah Cho, CONTRIBUTING WRITER e’ve all heard it before. For some, it’s, “Be the better person.” For others, it’s, “Just let it go.”

All of us, Christian or not, are all too familiar with the famous line: turn the other cheek. In Matthew 5 Jesus says, “You have heard it said, ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth. But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.” 1 This verse is thrown around in the Christian bank of “verses everyone knows,” probably somewhere between John 3:16 and Genesis 1:1. However, do we know what this really means? And if so, are Christians living out this kind of life?

26 To An Unknown God | Fall 2013

Let’s first look at the world that we live in. Looking at it from this viewpoint, it is fairly easy to understand: If someone wrongs you, forgive him or her. BUT (and our world always seems to be filled with “buts,” “howevers,” and “only ifs”) there are exceptions. What if someone comes and totals your car? You better pick up some insurance money from that driver. After all, it’s the “right” thing to do.

What if we were to go even further? Let’s imagine that someone came and raped and murdered your family. That despicable, disgusting man better end up executed or imprisoned for life, and he most certainly will be. Why? Because, again, it’s the “right” thing according to our legal system.

As a Christian, I can say that we consequently sometimes think of ourselves as better than others. Christians have no problem forgiving others as every churchgoer has learned from Colossians to “forgive as the Lord has forgiven us.” 2 That inspiring story of the man forgiving that murderer, or the mother forgiving the pedophile who defiled her son are well known stories in sermons and in church. If I ever need to tell someone about how much grace Christians have to offer, I have no problem diving into a touching and dramatic story about forgiveness, grace, and looking forward to the future.

For me, I am: 1. A Christian and 2. Living in this world.

Adding together 1 and 2, this should definitely mean that I am fully capable of being a very forgiving person.

Not quite. Let’s look to the other extreme. Not those wrongdoings that make you gasp in horror, but the ones that you brush off as if they are nothing. Gossip, slander, hatred. These are all emotions and behaviors that are “normal” for a human to have.

For example, if someone says that you are obnoxious behind your back, it is only natural to return to your apartment or dorm and to tell your roommate about how infuriated you are, and then proceed to tear down that person by saying how evil he is for slandering you.

In James 2:10, it is written, “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.” 3 Not turning you cheek is the same offense, no matter how extreme it might be.

What do we do then? It is only natural to snap at someone who calls you ugly, swear at the driver that cut you off, or gossip about your messy roommate. We all know how to forgive in these

situations Just let that comment go. Take a deep breath and move on. “Be the better man.”

But if we look back to the verse from Matthew 5, it says right after, “And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.” 4 Jesus doesn’t want us to just forgive those who have wronged us, but wants us to love them as well.

In the world’s eyes, this is ridiculous. However, what’s even more ridiculous is going out of our way to forgive those who have wronged us for minor offenses. To forgive those who called us fat behind our backs, or to befriend that one guy at the gym who won’t stop fouling you during basketball. Paul writes in Romans, “Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” 5 Christians were never meant to be “cool” in this world. A common phrase that’s thrown around in the church is that Christians are “in the world but not of the world,” implying that yes while we exist, social norms were never meant to apply to us. I am not saying that we always live this way, but we need to try.

Christians, like each and every other human being on this planet, are going to be confronted with adversity every day. While we might not have our house burned down by arsonists every day, there definitely will be that person that gives you a disgustingly inappropriate look on the street or the person that looks at you and then whispers to her friend. What separates us from the world is not if we encounter these small problems, but how we deal with them.

Now here comes the real kicker: As Christians, we are to not only forgive, but to love. Not to let go, but to reach out to the lost. We are to forgive and love on those who wrong us in every possible way and while this is uncomfortable, we as Christians are going to be uncomfortable. Throughout this entire piece, I constantly gave examples, many of which are very dramatic, about forgiveness. But, as ludicrous as these examples are, we are expected to go even further. We are not to just forgive someone who has emotionally scarred us, but we are to wish the best for him and truly rejoice when they are doing well and this, more than anything, is uncomfortable, but also one of the clearest examples of the love that we as Christians believe that Christ showed to us.

My very wise small group leader told me, “A Christian not in conflict with the world is far too comfortable.” Let’s show the world just how uncomfortable we can get.

Noah Cho is a third year Integrative Biology major and enjoys eating pho on rainy days with good company.

Fall 2013 | To An Unknown God 27

Will you then wait for me?

Sandra Lee, STAFF WRITER Dear Diary, .....

Or, perhaps it would be more appropriate to say “Dear God.” Dear God, I’m sitting here trying to think in the Christian perspective of the ways I should proceed to write an article regarding War and Pain.

It has become, while it shouldn’t be, a pain to write this topic at hand. While flipping through the Holy Bible, a text that has not been part of my twenty-two years of life, I have come to an agreement with my inner self that it would be hypocritical of me to express my ideas and beliefs as a Christian when I am not one. Therefore, I shall write by what I believe is Pain and its relation to War and shall also use this opportunity to reconcile my beliefs and faith to You, An Unknown God. To An Unknown God, You are one and many; form and formless. Your presence is boundless, unrestrained by the limited capacity of my knowing. Thus, You are Unknown to my knowing. If You do have a consciousness and are aware of my minute presence, I believe You are the most compassionate and understanding being. Unlike some say otherwise, You are never selfish for such a character is nonexistent in Your dictionary. Thus, whenever someone prays to You and seeks to be reunited with You through his or her various, imaginative forms of You, You understand that those forms are all You. Due to our own limited capacity in knowing as human beings, we can get anxious. That anxiety can then induce fear. Fear leads us to seek for You to help us conquer anxiety, as we seem to believe readily that You have the power to pull us out from or give us courage during anxiety-inducing situations. Yet, how do we know You have such power? While some may start citing references or expressing their opinions on what You can and cannot do, the question is not meant to initiate an argument in establishing which is correct and which is wrong. If You do have the power, You are powerful in that sense. If You don’t, I understand this as well. This is also acceptable because You may already know that You don’t need such power.

Because…

I have come to an understanding that we do have the ability to help ourselves. We already have the innate power to conquer anxiety, for our anxiety does not come from the unknown but stems from the known sources. These sources or characters are pride, selfishness, and obstinacy. I don’t believe, however, that these sources connote only negativity; there are positive aspects to these characteristics. Unfortunately, to break away from anxiety, we should limit them.

When we become too prideful, selfish or obstinate, we can make rash statements and actions that can collide with others’ viewpoints. This self-induced collision will frustrate us and make us worry, for we generally wish to be well-liked by others. Thus, these feelings of worry and frustration are unpleasant for they induce fear.

Fear is a symptom of anxiety, which is a form of pain in disguise. We generally don’t like pain. Thus, to get rid of this pain, we tend to argue and fight back by silencing or even getting rid of that person or collision. Consequentially, a war is created or can be formed either metaphorically or literally. Yet, even when the war is over, why do we often have post-war anxieties? Why don’t we usually feel satisfied after an argument? Did we not fight to get rid of these anxieties in the first place?

Perhaps…

We are fighting the wrong enemies. What we should be fighting against are pride, selfishness, and obstinacy. Fight against those characteristics within us. Fight so we can say goodbye to anxiety, pain, and war. Fight by honing our humble nature, for having humility will open the door to compassion, which will then lead to acceptance and embracement of all existence. Unknown God, is not that essentially You? Would You agree? Will You, then, wait for me?

Sincerely, A Novice of Humility Sandra Lee. Passionate. Optimistic. Visionary. Taiwanese.

28 To An Unknown God | Fall 2013

why christianity?

Pondering the reasons why faith in Jesus is both absurd and absolutely awesome. an informal commentary

L

Tyler Hansen, STAFF WRITER ately I’ve spent some time reflecting upon the question of: “Why Christianity?” What makes it so special?

What’s unique about it? It’s funny--before I became a Christian, I was ingrained with this “you can do anything you put your mind to” mentality. This concept states that with hard work and determination, you can accomplish literally anything. And while this attitude is an admirable one and certainly seems like a great outlook to have on life, it assumes that I am my own agent. I don’t need anyone or anything to help me accomplish my dreams. This idea isn’t a new one. All you have to do is watch MTV or listen to a mainstream radio station to hear this mantra over and over again. But Christianity puts us at a different starting point. We begin to realize that we have nothing in us that is good (Romans 7:18). Our works are nothing but filthy rags compared to a perfect God (Isaiah 64:6). You may be saying, “How can you ever want to affiliate with that mindset?” But wait. Trust me when I say that there is something comforting in knowing that I can’t do this thing on my own. To know that I have nothing within me that can save me from my own depravity. It sounds odd at first, but it makes more sense when you take a look at human nature and the state of the world around us. Flat out, we humans suck sometimes (more like, a lot of times). We cheat, lie, steal, and lust every day. We tell ourselves we will try to stop and all the while finding comfort in knowing that other people deal with the same problems. But Christianity says, “Look, mankind screwed up, screws up, and will continue to screw up. But there

is Someone who knows that and loves you despite it. Who laid down His life for you so that you might know God personally.”

With Him on your side, you can find the strength to persevere when the going gets tough, to lean on Him in times of suffering.

The catch you ask? You just have to admit that you can’t do it alone. That you need a Savior. That you cannot possibly muster up enough determination to rid yourself of sinfulness. And that is the beauty of the Gospel. That is what makes it unique.

It is not a “me first, I can do this” way of life. It is a “Him first, I can’t do anything right” way of life. And you know what? I’m perfectly okay with that. Christianity tells us that our battle has already been won. It’s not a matter of what we can do; it’s what He has done. We can endure pain and suffering because Jesus experienced pain and suffered on our behalf. And in doing so, paved a way to know and love our Creator in a personal relationship. You’d be hard-pressed to find better news than that.

Paul summarizes the power of this relationship in the letter written to the churches in Galatia, saying: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” -Galatians 2:20 (ESV) Tyler Hansen is a senior studying Political Science. He is involved with Campus Crusade for Christ and the head manager of the Cal men’s basketball team.

Fall 2013 | To An Unknown God 29

Lue-Yee Tsang, CONTRIBUTING WRITER t has been a few years since I was last a student at Cal. Nevertheless, in keeping with the goals of this journal’s founding, articulated at the outset by Cliff Mak – namely, for Christians in this university community to talk to one another – I trust that my lips may rightly be opened.

Daniel Yoo has argued in last term’s issue that ‘the most loving act a Christian can do is to convince his non-Christian friend of his need for Christ’. All true: the loving thing for the Church to do in Berkeley is to proclaim the good news that Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of the living God, has joined humanity to his divinity, has died to take away the sin of the world, has been raised to vindicate (with himself) all those who will believe in him, and has moreover ascended into heaven, to the right hand of God the Father, to exercise his authority in heaven and on earth. But now, reflecting on these mighty works of God, which must be told, let us also remember the other truths of the gospel: I believe in the Holy Ghost, the Holy Catholic Church, the Communion of Saints, &c. These truths, too, must shape our evangelistic efforts: no congregation or fellowship, as numerous as Gracepoint or as few as Covenant Reformed Christian Fellowship, is free to regard itself as self-contained in this work.

Though it is through this journal that I urge it, what I am urging is a deeper unity beyond this journal, that this journal may continue, through the conversation held in its pages, to serve public purposes outside of its own existence. As we consider how to engage in the loving act of evangelism, we must also consider how to do this work in relation to the rest of the Church.

Not everyone, of course, is at home in mass evangelistic crusades, nor need we be uniform in our ways of proclaiming that which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life. For the good Lord has made us different from one another, each member contributing in his own way to the work of the Christ, which is the work of the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Nevertheless, it is not in method only, but also in purpose, that we differ: I follow Paul, saith one, and I follow Apollos, saith another.

For if we truly regarded our work as common and not private, would we still be doing it without respect to, or even knowledge of, what other congregations of the Body were doing? To be sure, each proclaims the word of God as part of his own piety; but neither is the word of God the property of one sect. It is fit that the people of God should meet severally, for we must live at humanly intelligible scales; but we are one in the work of the King who calls all to account, and it is unfit that, outwardly at least, the work of one congregation has nothing to do with that of another congregation, nor the work of one fellowship with that of another.

I

ANNOUNCING THE

GOSPEL

TOGETHER One lord, one faith, one baptism for the remission of sins.

30 To An Unknown God | Fall 2013

To the pagan observer, it must appear that our God has many kingdoms, not one, if we even have the same God. For the Roman Catholics are of one kingdom, and the Orthodox Presbyterians of another, and the independent churches of yet several more. I am not complaining that there is more than one churchly jurisdiction, but I do think – though we are justified by faith – that our works speak to our imperfect obedience, and to the need to resolve upon a godlier life for the Church. For if our lack of visible unity be due rather to our vices than to anything else, I have no good objections to refute. And the peace of the Church does not consist merely in living and letting live, nor is one congregation, or even one denomination, a sufficient church; a student group is even less representative. Each of these, by itself, would be a poor substitute for the true Church, and it is on the slenderest of evidence that we presume to mistake a part for the whole.

The eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.

I can appreciate, of course, that some aspects of visible unity cannot now be had. That a Christian of the Roman obedience would articulate the gospel differently from a Protestant is no news to me. The difference is great enough that in evangelism I could not be of one mind with a Roman Catholic; indeed, it is my duty to acknowledge soberly what a great and – as terms now stand – irreconcilable gulf lies between the reformed and the unreformed churches.

Nevertheless, contrary to the opinions of some Christians, the catholic gospel lives even in the obscurity of the Roman church. Even Charles Spurgeon, that great Baptist preacher, affirmed as much: In Brussels, I heard a good sermon in a Romish church. The place was crowded with people, many of them standing, though they might have had a seat for a halfpenny or a farthing; and I stood, too; and the good priest – for I believe he is a good man, – preached the Lord Jesus with all his might. He spoke of the love of Christ, so that I, a very poor hand at the French language, could fully understand him, and my heart kept beating within me as he told of the beauties of Christ, and the preciousness of His blood, and of His power to save the chief of sinners.

He did not say ‘justification by faith’, but he did say ‘efficacy of the blood’, which comes to very much the same thing. He did not tell us we were saved by grace, and not by our works; but he did say that all the works of men were less than nothing when brought into competition with the blood of Christ, and that the blood of Jesus alone could save.

And where the Holy Ghost dwells still in men’s hearts, turning sinners to true repentance, there ought we not to despise what the Lord has done. Where orthodoxy yet lives, though obscured by inconsistent teaching, our duty is to thank the Lord. Where the truth is told clearly, even by the ordinarily most confused Christian, it cannot be nothing to us.

What God has given, we must not refuse. I may still hesitate to explain salvation together with a Jesuit; but if there be good progress in my evangelistic efforts, I will not hesitate to tell him, nor do I expect he will hesitate to tell me if God blesses his work. It may be – nay, must be – that I need him, and he needs me.

For many congregations, indeed, the labourers are few.

It is only sense that, in the work of evangelism, the efforts of different congregations be combined. The difficulties of putting together the labours of congregations ordinarily separate are unequal to the unity of these congregations in the word of God, and to the obedience that this word requires.

Perhaps a part of one congregation intends to hold weekly dinners at which to show hospitality to pagans and then study the Gospels, and for lack of labourers their plans come to nothing.1 Shall they be excused from the work of evangelism, and shall their gifts be wasted because they can call upon no help but that of their own congregation? When their help is in the Name of the Lord, the help he sends may come through other faithful Christians who are part of another congregation but live conveniently nearby. As it would be a shame for evangelism to be frustrated by the want of unity, it would be an honour for brethren to dwell together in unity, and it would be the glory of God that through this unity he added to the church daily such as should be saved.

So I call upon Berkeley’s Christian congregations and fellowships to try to imagine together, concretely, what they can enable one another to do. The Scriptures bid us comfort and support one another, and the Lord’s Prayer has been given for us to say together as we desire the kingdom.

To what lengths shall we not go to pursue the end of unity? To what trouble shall we not go to help each other speak God’s word to the nations? Arise, let us go hence.

1. It is encouraging to see that Christians from different congregations are working together in the ministries of NAOS House of Prayer (which, if it focused on catholic and not sectarian teachings, could be a Little Gidding for today) and Laundry Love; but I hope also to hear of clergymen meeting regularly to discuss challenges facing all the churches in Berkeley, whether doctrinal or practical, and coordinating the work of their congregations.

Lue-Yee Tsang, B.A. Calif. Berkeley, 2009, works as an editor in the City. His chief hobbies are reverence and blasphemy.

Fall 2013 | To An Unknown God 31

That 2 IKings May See 6 Jennifer Yim, STAFF WRITER

ready waiting to wage war they draw nearer advancing my men are prepared not one trembles in their boots feet planted swords in hand shields steady they are nearly here silhouettes begin to take shape thirty eighty hundred fifty weapons raise they’re here face to face now but see the enemy

is me

eyes fling open awake a dream

But His Word endures Stained.

Written upon this fickle heart

Eyes closed shut.

Lay once more.

It is not a dream.

no too real the chill inside me too true the face before me my own greatest enemy is me

But how can this be?

When there is, in me, sin?

Sin that put Him there That separates me eternally from the One I love

Clothed in marvelous light coming for me.

His army greater than mine greater than theirs.

Completely surrounded, overtaken by Him.

sit upright stare into the darkness this was it all along nothing outside of me but every soldier that is

No the One who first loved me.

The only blood shed?

His very own.

For me who He calls His very own.

He has conquered the world

for me against me are all still within me

But how can this be?

In me, there is He.

conquered this grave conquered my heart There, here, being still

each merely reflections fragments of my brokenness

Who is good.

As good as He is powerful.

As powerful as He is sovereign.

As sovereign as He is loving.

As loving as He is victorious.

There, here, reminded Not of my sinfulness But of His holiness How mighty How gracious How righteous

deprivation fallenness sin

He who has promised.

He who is greater.

So I choose to be swept up in His infinite grace.

Let Him lead me by His love, to His banqueting table.

32  To An Unknown God | Fall 2013

How everlasting

He is.

The

Path Stephen Haw, STAFF WRITER The voices are calling all around me but I’m too busy walking in a straight line.

They ask for my help and support but my eyes are fixated on the finish line.

Through prayer and Word will I achieve my goal to meet the One up there.

But these clouds swirl all around me at my feet and hide the snares.

For straying takes up too much time and time I do not own.

But their hearts flood all around me And I stop for reasons unknown.

The lights shine all around us as we gather together to move as one.

And together we will continue to move Until we meet Him and the deed is done.

Fall 2013 | To An Unknown God  33

Facing the shadows Amanda Gee, STAFF WRITER

I. Shadows on the wall.

Shadows dancing on the wall In a high-ceilinged gymnasium To the accompaniment of Pinkgreenblueyellow Musical spasms.

And how they dance, These strange contortions That bounce and bend as one Under an anthem for individuality.

Their faces are lost In the forgetting of tomorrow.

II. Shadows on the wall.

Shadows sleeping on the wall.

In an abandoned high school To the accompaniment of The humid breaths of Tourists and missionaries.

And how they sleep, These wretched wraiths That wept and wasted as one Under the rule of a few angry men.

Their faces are lost In the forgetting of yesterday.

III. Shadows on the wall.

Shadows scurrying on the wall In an open downtown section To the accompaniment of Sharp footsteps muffled By the shifting of suits.

And how they scurry, These frantic wisps That plot and perspire as one Under a dream’s broken banner.

Their faces are lost In the forgetting of today.

IV. These thoughts I play across my mind As my foot fumbles In the semidarkness To the stage Where I lose my face Behind the sheet, Draped and quavering Across a strained wire.

Our painter’s canvas.

Our shield from the audience Whose hearts we so want To touch.

Backlights on.

Music on.

Shadow players on.

34 To An Unknown God | Fall 2013

And I see My shadow on the wall.

Our shadows on the wall.

Our shadows painting a story on the wall To accompaniment of Giggled whispers and Bated breaths.

And what a story we try to paint So painstakingly.

We the Strange, Wretched, Frantic Shadows To our fellow Frantic, Wretched, Strange Shadows.

We that are Fallen and forgiven as one Before the One We Cannot Understand.

The One of Compassionate Promises.

So we paint a story To convey, To glimpse, To re-experience He, He Who Gives Faces to the Shadows.  

Fall 2013 | To An Unknown God  35

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