A voice for widows - Alumni spotlight

By Chigozie Udemezue

As a lawyer and someone with a keen focus on providing advocacy and legal intervention to vulnerable people in society, particularly widows in Africa, my experiences and knowledge of the law has equipped me to be a better change maker. When confronted with the many issues that widows face, especially those regarding human rights violations, my legal background assists in helping them find solutions or redress in the law.

In 2008, I founded the Healing Hearts Widows Support Foundation Inc. (HHWSF) in Nigeria and our approach is very simple. At HHWSF, we have always asked, ‘why should a widow lose her sense of dignity, livelihood, pride, or hope because she lost her husband?’ No doubt, death is a sorrowful thing, and it is right for a bereaved person to mourn the deceased; but, sadly, African women are at the receiving end of negative stigmas that come with the death of their husbands. This has led our team to approach charity and advocacy for widows in a more pragmatic and far-reaching way.

Initial exposure to the treatment of widows

As a child in the 1980s, I encountered first-hand how widows were treated. I remember delivering meals to an elderly blind widow and attending funerals where you could see how the widows were being treated. In those days, I would take food items from the house without permission, and give them out to widows who lived or worked at the market on my way to high school.

When I was working as a lawyer at Women’s Aid Collective, I was exposed further to the many gory tales of how widows were being accused, molested, or discriminated against by their communities. I was often moved to tears listening to their ordeals. Women’s Aid Collective provided legal support to indigent women and girls, and among them were widows and their children. I was part of the team responsible for attending to their different needs regarding human rights violations.

That experience sowed a seed in my heart and, having taken part in the International Visitor Leadership Program (a professional exchange program for emerging leaders in their field), this exposure was the push I needed to do more. I resisted the urge to do this for more than two years, yet my husband constantly encouraged me, saying that I was born and equipped to do so. My husband was supportive, participated in our activities and provided the funding at the initial stage, which eventually led to the birth of HHWSF.

Extending support throughout the world

In advocating for better livelihoods for widows, we at HHWSF strive to empower them to fend for themselves. While we ensure we take care of their immediate needs, amidst their pain, grief, or loss, like providing them with clothes, food, money and adequate shelter, we also equip them with practical life skills and networks that empower them for economic and social freedom. We have developed strategic relationships with partners and sponsors across different parts of the world, who sign up to extend their hand of support to these widows, in some cases, ‘adopting’ their children for scholarship in schools at various levels. HHWSF is about giving every widow in Africa, especially widows in eastern Nigeria, a chance to experience a better life–a hope and voice to be all God has created them to be.

Sadly, I lost my husband in 2013 to an unfortunate drunk driving accident and I was left to raise my three children myself. I am a widow so I know what it means to lose someone you truly love and to be subjected to rejection, dejection, loneliness, or that excruciating burden of having to fend for the entire family alone. So today, when I see widows struggle through these same issues, it moves me to want to help even more than I did prior to my bereavement. This is why what I do at HHWSF is beyond work for me; I consider it a calling.

When I listen to the inspiring stories of widows who pass through our foundation, they inspire me to keep doing the work we do, even in the face of limited resources and challenges.

Empowerment across Africa

Helping widows in Africa to find their voice, to own it, use it and to give them the power to stand on their feet and raise their children in a safe and empowered space is about giving them a fair chance to be all they want to be. This, for me, is not just another activity but also an overarching mission to make the world, especially Africa, a better place. If a widow is empowered, it extends to her children who later grow up to become better citizens of the society. As a widow myself, I know the role that my empowerment has played on the lives of my children and that is why I am committed to extending it to more widows across Africa.

The lives we affect on a daily basis are what excite me at HHWSF. When I listen to the inspiring stories of widows who pass through our foundation, they inspire me to keep doing the work we do, even in the face of limited resources and challenges. Imagine being able to support a widow to start a new business, send her children back to school, fund her family healthcare, or provide better living spaces. This is what gives me joy. Seeing these widows rise from their pain to living their full potential is the greatest motivation that I would not trade for anything. More importantly, I get excited when I see widows take ownership of their lives and begin to live an economically-free and purpose-driven life. Rather than slide into self-pity or negativity, they become free in their minds and act to create outstanding results. That is where I get my kick!

A desire to make change

Going forward for HHWSF, we are committed to our mission of extending empowerment and support to more widows across Africa. We want to put a complete stop to the stereotypes and marginalisation that widows in Africa face because of primordial sentiments, cultures, or dogmas attributed to the death of their husbands. We want to see more widows live a purposedriven life and not be subjected to self-pity, discrimination, or poverty. Hence, we are currently working with our individual and institutional partners around the world who believe in what we are doing and are willing to work with us to address these ills. In 10 years, we desire an Africa where widows are no longer treated as secondclass citizens and where widows themselves will live purposefully in every area of their lives.

An alumna of the University of London, Chigozie completed her Master of Laws in 2015 via distance learning.