otwo: Volume XVI, Issue 4 by The University Observer

27.10.09 VOL XVI ISSUE 4

The University Observerâ€™s Arts & Culture Supplement

THE ONE WHERE ROSS TALKS TO otwo

Vitalic The Men Who Stare at Goats Josh Ritter Glengarry Glen Ross David Norris

HELLO

CONTENTS 03

REGULARS

O’Boyle points the finger

WHAT’S HOT & WHAT’S NOT

16 FASHION

SOAPBOX – You Smug! Vincent

– Michelle McCormick tells you what’s in and what’s for the bin

VOXPOP – Sophie Lioe and Nicola Lyons find out your greatest fears

AGONY ANTO – A wise man with a ‘tache and a can of skutch mold

ATTEMPTS – Chain-smoker Colin

Sweetman tries to kick the bait for a week. And fails…

06 M U S I C

– Sarah Doran checks out Delorentos in Gigabyte – Music makes the world go ‘round; Michael Phoenix gives us a mixtape – Jake O’Brien learns how to speak Vitalic – Ciarán Ó Braonáin talks to Colm Lynch – Daniel Fox Kranes his neck with the Twins – John Gallagher checks out Airborne Toxic Event – Ciara Fitzpatrick pallies with Funeral For A Friend

– Seán McGovern has a glamorous look at Halloween fashion and how dead Hollywood icons influenced style for generations to come

SOMETHING ELSE

– Sally Hayden flies to another world for 1916: The Musical

CULTURE VULTURE

– Amy Walsh reads UCD’s latest publication A Curious Impulse, while otwo befriend Dramsoc’s next fabulous piece of work, but we’ll also talk to Josh Ritter when we do that one…

TRAVEL

– Kris Goodbody cycles an unfeasibly long distance (on the second leg of his tour to Greece), while otwo looks for love from Paris to Berlin

FILM & TV

– Seán McGovern stares at the Men Who Stare At Goats, Jon Hozier gives us his number on ‘9’, and Padraic Coffey is assisted by The Vampire’s Assistant – Breffni O’Sullivan reviews wrestling – Also, Conor Barry and Sean McGovern try out for the Horror Film marathon

FOOD & DRINK

– Jake O’Brien makes breakfast big enough to cure that Katzenjammer, and Louis Westwater suggests some ways of undoing that cure

W E B WATC H

REVIEWS

I CO N

HEADLINER

– Dick Lit writer Paul Howard kidnaps an interview with Grace Duffy

– Gavan Reilly gives you the WWW treatment

– Paramore and Sharon Shannon, reviews of media mediocre

– Seán McGovern chats to polymath icon David Norris

B AC K PAG E TO THE FUTURE

– Sally Hayden keeps us up-to-speed on the next fortnight’s gigs, and Mystic Mittens licks her tail and coughs up your future

Letter

from the Eds Storee, bud? Hmm. That’s probably not an appropriate tone to take, considering this issue’s cover feature is a interview with the creator of south Dublin’s most famous fictional son, Ross O’Carroll-Kelly. We’ll try to keep it respectable from here on in, but not without the occasional spot of, er, ‘bant’. Apparently, the man in question – Paul Howard – has been subjected to a number of points of view (some of which would be charitably described as ‘mad altogether’) as a consequence of being Ross’ daddy. From being scolded in Brown Thomas for being a poor role model, to being criticised for being “a waste of skin” (notorious for his excessive skin consumption, our Ross), Paul has been having a tough time because of people who think he’s (a) Ross and (b) being serious. The full story is on our centre pages. Now that it’s Hallowistmas, we thought it’d be great to have all of you around to the office for a spot of bobbing for apples, carol-singing, firework-throwing and Christmas-tree-decorating. Bizarrely, the SU was decidedly unenthusiastic about forking out for 20,000 Black Cats, so our contribution to evoking a seasonally appropriate spirit is going to have to be limited to our Halloween Vox Pop. We sent out our scouts to find out the most terrifying and traumatic Halloween-related experiences to which UCD’s populace has been subjected. Expect catharsis. For our Icon this week, we’ve chosen to speak to every single member of the soon-to-be-abolished Seanad we could think of. Aside from that claim to fame, David Norris is important because he’s a human rights activist, Joycean scholar and a witty gentleman. You can see what he has to say for himself all the way over on page 27. This fortnight, we’ve also got an otwo Attempts that’s as monumental a fail as Falcon Heene’s father’s parenting. Except with marginally less media coverage. We’ve genuinely put ourselves through the some proper suffering on this one, so if reading about someone else’s pain and misfortune is something from which you derive pleasure (you perv), cast your bitter gaze to page 5. On a slightly less accusatory note, we’ve also got some proper culture-supplement content: this fortnight we checked out a Nick Cave gig, spoke to Funeral for a Friend, cycled through France, listened to Seasick Steve, chatted to the creators of 1916: The Musical, made a Full Irish, and drank some wine. Deadly buzz, wha?

Eoin & Colin otwo is offering you the chance to win four tickets to see CKY play the Academy on 1st November ! Just be the first to email the answer to this question: what date is Halloween? Email your answer to otwo@universityobserver.ie

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27.10.09

SOAPBOX Vincent O’Boyle examines a condition known as ‘the Smug’. The smug look. The smug snigger. We all know a Smug when we see one – but…are you one? Well, are you feeling highly selfsatisfied? Then you’ve got ‘the Smug!’ Don’t worry too much though, it’s not contagious – in fact, it’s really more of a deflective condition.

WHINGE

WHAT’S HOT & WHAT’S NOT College is hard enough without having to stay up to date on being down with the kids. Michelle McCormick is here to save you the trouble

HOT

Think of it as a force field around you, blinding you from criticism, making you ignorant to reason and incapable of proper conversation. The last point is really important when diagnosing someone with ‘the Smug’. Conversation is dialogue between two or more people: thus, in the case of someone with ‘the Smug’, conversation doesn’t just revolve around you. It is smothered with self-indulgence. ‘The Smug’ overrides all pretence of inclusion. Every time you open your mouth all that will come out is blatant, unashamed self-promotion. Think along the lines of the Discover Ireland ads on TV, except without the cool song, the roving camera work, the scenes of Ireland’s rugged, majestic landscape and… well, without anything interesting whatsoever. Ok, bad example. I’ll try again. If you’re sitting in Theatre L while you’re reading this take a glance down to the first couple of rows. See the girl leaning back in her seat slowly flicking through pictures of the party she was at last night? She’s probably a Smug.

Michael Bublé

Yes, he’s a cheesy crooner – but swoon, he’s so pretty! His new song ‘Haven’t Met You Yet’ is on permanent YouTube repeat, and it’s a poppy, happy, lovely delight – as well as being set in a supermarket, with a marching band, and a dance troupe. What more can we ask for? Absurd romance? Oh wait, it’s got that too!

Talking Dogs

3D Movies

Autumn

Weddings

“Sexy” costumes

Twin Bashing

Thanks to Disney Pixar for finally making a realistic talking dog! If you’ve seen UP, you’ll know what we’re talking about. Too long has the movie talking dog been super-intelligent and savvy – we much prefer the soppy, stupid, slobbery messes in UP. Dogs do hide under the porch because they love you. Squirrel!

NOT

Ok, so we’re UP-crazy. But the 3D movie trend is really taking off; with Toy Story out in 3D and more exciting movies on the way. We can see a non-flat Johnny Depp when The Imagination of Dr Parnassaus hits our screens, and a scary Scrooge will be leaping out of our screens with the opening of A Christmas Carol in 3D. Just don’t sit too close, or you’ll do embarrassing leaning and jumping.

Summer’s long gone, and Winter is fast approaching – let’s enjoy the week or so of lovely crisp Autumn weather we get every year before we’re shrouded in rain and misery for eight months straight. Leaves! Chilly, sunshiney days! That bonfire-y smell! Hallow’een! Hurrah!yourself to oblivion in your local bus shelter/ woods/dingy alleyway. Nice.

The tutorial you attended earlier, in which the guy beside you managed to speak didactically for five minutes and yet somehow didn’t even come close to saying something relevant? He’s a Smug. Later, if you head up to the student bar you’re almost undoubtedly going to hear at least one Kanye West song. Kanye West is up to his neck in smugness. Expect him to be immortalised any day now – but not, as he wishes, to be known as the genius voice of a generation; instead, as an example of smugness in the Oxford Dictionary. Smugs are everywhere. I propose free Smug screenings by the SU and a Freshers’ Guide to Smug safety. God help us all.

Ukeleles

Pointless, evil instrument invented solely for the purpose of annoying your fellow human beings. Why else would one take it out on a long bus journey, or start playing it at 11pm when your neighbours are trying to watch Peep Show? Put it away, please, it’s not big and it’s not clever.

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Another torture implement. Who in their right minds thinks that mass, an inferior meal, awkward conversation, and terrible music – all while dressed extremely uncomfortably – is fun in any way, shape or form? We want to complain to the powers that be… and just go play with the miniature toiletries in the hotel room instead of having to do Rock the Boat.

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Schoolgirl, nurse, French maid, or any “sexy” version of the following – pirates, ninjas, zombies, insects, cartoon characters or clerical workers. These are all terrible ideas for costumes. Please put some clothes on and engage your brain instead of going out dressed as a horrible cliché.

Stopping short of sobbing, “Leave John and Edward ALONE!”… I think we should cut the poor, harassed, X Factor twins some slack. Yeah, they can’t sing. Yeah, they’re a particularly bad example of a really obnoxious D4 stereotype. And yes, Louis Walsh DID just put them in because they’re Irish – but ahh, they’re only little. And as Cheryl says, it’s not their fault they got into the final!

WHINGE

say what ???

QUESTION: What was your scariest Halloween experience? ask Sophie Lioe and Nicola Lyons

“Going to some dodgy club at 13 and deciding to walk home alone I live miles away!”

Mark Stokes, 1st Economics & Politics

“Learning that spaghetti doesn’t digest!” Chris Lee, 1st Law

Liam McGrady, 1st Science

“We all went to a cemetery and this guy jumped out from behind one of the graves”

AGONY ANTO Dear Anto, I’ve been going out with this girl in UCD for about two years now. We’re both doing final year Arts at the moment but studying different subjects. Lately however, she’s been ignoring me whenever I call her saying that she’s “too busy to meet up” or that she “has this surprise lecture thingy”. I decided to follow her one day with the intention of ringing her to go out. I literally saw here across the concourse rejecting me for lunch on her phone. She then called someone else and started waiting for whoever it was. Trying to be discreet about my personal investigation, I hid behind my car. After about ten minutes, otwo

“My friends came over and my dad decided to jump up from under the window with this scary monkey mask on!”

Emily Fitzgerald, 2nd Psychology

Whatever’s doggin’ your troubles, Anto is here to folly yis up, reet.

she meets up with this youngblooded first year student. They then proceeded to go to the Restaurant together, so my suspicion was right! However, as I was hiding, I noticed that the spoiler on the back of my car was leaning to the left. Is this something I can fix myself, or do I have to bring it to the mechanics? Yours, Conor, car park Conor, It sounds to me like that first-year’s spoiler is bang-on. Sort yourself out man, give it a whack o’ a hammer or sumthin. A car without a spoiler is like a bird that doesn’t put out, in your case. Anto Anto, I was recently man-handled by some brainless twits at the Boys Noize gig a couple weeks ago (ya know, your type). They claimed to be security but I don’t trust anyone who sounds six social classes below me. 27.10.09

Are there any ways I can appear to look as hard and scummish as them? Yours, Joseph Joseph, Reet, let’s get to Knacker 101. You wanna luck hard, ye gotta play hard (and I actually mean, play it). To start off, lose the gear and chump yourself up with sum Trackers, runners, and the good aul’ Dax. After you put these on, buy yourself some Johnnie Blue and smoke them everywhere and anywhere. Next, you have to swagger like a turkey – dis throws people off balance in their heads, so they don’t know which way you’re cumin. Afta dis, ye permanently scrunch your face up, as if you were watching Ronaldo shite on your mudder’s chest – it’s a mix of shock and contention. Give dose securdiddy dis at the door an’ they’ll probably let you in for free. Anto

ATTEMPTS

otwo attempts : quitting smoking For this issue, otwo decided – after seven nonstop years – to give up smoking for a week in the ambition of saving €60, writing this story, and driving one writer entirely up the wall, writes Colin Sweetman

on-smokers just don’t get smokers, and smokers don’t get you. Why not just pick up smoking? When I suggested this idea for an Attempts piece, not entirely against my own will, someone I know said “why not just give them up entirely?” They just don’t get it. Smoking is something to do with your hands; an excuse to go outside; a time-burner, if you will. And sure, the other implications of

around my weaknesses. I decide to destroy my bedroom in the pursuit of finding a stray cigarette, lost from times unknown. Eventually finding one that was stale, dust-ridden and bent out-of-shape under my book shelf (a smoker would probably smoke old rope if it was the only thing available), I sneakily go into my attic and opened the window. Bang, Wallop. Inadvertently, I’m so eager to smoke that I open the window on my head, causing the cigarette to be thrown away in anger and pain. You win this round, Smoklor. Day Two: Saturday I wake up late for work, so no time for a cigarette. However, during the course of my shift, a Chinese friend gives me three packets of Marlboro Lights for doing him a favour a little while back. “Why are you giving them to me now? Could you not have been sooner?” I groan, to be met with remarks of “how the Irish lack gratitude” etcetera. Later that day I manage to roll some old tobacco I found into some palpable shape and smoke it – not entirely against the rules, because there’s no nicotine in rolling tobacco (that’s definitely not true – Ed). It tastes like dried shit (Ha! – Ed).

smoking aren’t that great: cancer, general smelliness, penury, inabilities to run, swim, fly… but life is for living, right? The night I stopped smoking, I ate a big dinner. Afterwards, I reached for my pocket and horrifically remembered what I had gotten myself into. As I had stubbed out my last cigarette, I remember thinking, “piece of piss” – but that was before I had the nicotine-less body. Now, it had gone beyond funny: not having that ritual after-dinner-smoke was comparable to someone turning off a movie you were watching five minutes before the end. The suspense was terrible, and I really hoped it wouldn’t last. Day One: Friday Managing to go the whole day without cigarettes, night comes and a cold shiver had wrapped itself

Day Three: Sunday I discover a video on YouTube of a blank screen: you can hear someone in the background smoking, so you’re supposed to close your eyes and imagine it’s you. I spend the entire day playing online games that are designed to distract you from cravings. Day, Four, heah, heah: Monday I literally struggle to write something. It is incomprehensible to the non-smoker’s mind what I am going through now. I WANT A CIGARETTE EVERY TWO MINUTES. I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM. On the plus side, I strangely feel less tired, but am also getting these weird bouts of dizziness. Day Five: Tuesday I have officially failed my attempt, only managing to stay off the silky bastards for more than four days. Oddly enough, though, I didn’t take a blow to my self-sense of integrity. The cigarette was so satisfying that it drowned and quaffed any other otwo

27.10.09

emotions I was feeling – to name a few postquitting: anxiety, dizziness, being fidgety, lack of occupation, and so on. The Verdict: While this was a hasty attempt at an Attempt, I did realise some beneficial side-effects of kicking the habit - even if it was only for a few days. I noticed that I smelled better (one person commenting “I didn’t miss that smell off you” when I was in rehab). It also came to my attention that I could actually taste food.Where there was once a time when chicken, bread, pasta, pizza and chips all only had a consistency to them – therefore explaining my irrational need for salt – food actually made an impression on my taste buds. Still, there is the ongoing problem of the

The night I stopped smoking, I ate a big dinner. Afterwards, I reached for my pocket and horriﬁcally remembered what I had

gotten myself into.

addiction. I generally came to the conclusion that for now at least, I can proudly admit that I enjoy smoking, regardless of the fact that others do not feel the same way. People are always ready to scrutinise the smoker, but I (on behalf of smokers) do not feel that we’re trying to “look cool”, as the old accusation goes. Rather, it is merely a reflection of the time that we did. The reality is that although we would rather have never picked up the habit, it is too damn enjoyable to give up now. I for one am happy to wait until I run out of money, or when the day comes that a person with several letters after their name tells me so. (Ahem –Ed MB BCh BAO) The only alternative to that is to wait for a man named Grim to do some reaping. If you’re really trying to quit smoking, visit www.giveupsmoking.ie

Just the ticket

MUSIC

After the release of his second album Tickety-Boo, Dublin’s hardest working singersongwriter Colm Lynch drops into UCD to chat about his latest album and new band with Ciarán Ó Braonáin

Music that Changed the World Music is known for its power to encapsulate moments in time. Michael Phoenix shares the songs that soundtracked some of history’s biggest moments

The Beatles –

‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’ This was released in the US in the aftermath of the assassination of JFK. Penned by Lennon and McCartney, the song proved a much needed pick-me-up for an America in disarray.

in favour of clashing guitars as Nirvana ruled with an iron fist.

Shaggy – ‘It Wasn’t Me’

Oasis –

In November 2000 George W. Bush became the most powerful man in the world – in rather acrimonious fashion. Shaggy, meanwhile, burst onto the airwaves in an only slightly less noisy fashion. As the world scrutinised the controversial election result, Shaggy was hired by the President for advice. Possibly.

Otis Redding –

Lynyrd Skynyrd – ‘Free Bird’ Released in 1973, this guitar epic may have been a musical pioneer in its day. It also marked the retreat of American forces from the prolonged conflict in Vietnam.

‘All Around the World’ In April 1998, the Good Friday Agreement was signed and Oasis topped the charts with this call for universal optimism. Let’s hope the Agreement doesn’t go the same way as the band. ‘Sitting on the Dock of the Bay’ This slow-burner carried America through the death of civil rights leader Martin Luther King. As a country burned with anger, the chorus became a nationwide singalong, as people searched for an outlet for their emotions.

Fifth Dimension –

‘Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In’ In 1969 America went to the moon, and the music world went mad. This hit is fitting – though also slightly strange – and had people bouncing along to the optimistic vibe of the time.

Nirvana –

‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ In December 1991, the USSR came to a formal end as the unshaven, unkept teenagers of the world embraced the concept of grunge. Rules and repression were ditched

The Cranberries – ‘Zombie’ Released in 1994, this powerful track has been the cause of much debate as to just which atrocity it sought to highlight. Genocide in Rwanda, or conflict in the north of Ireland? In effect this is irrelevant. Regardless, ‘Zombie’ did what it intended – it got people asking questions.

Black Eyed Peas –

‘I Gotta Feeling’ Friday 9th October, 2009 – thousands of students across Ireland were saved a fortune in third-level education fees. Undoubtedly, these students immediately went and celebrated. Equally undoubted – that the DJ played Ireland’s number one a minimum of three times. We may all hate it, but this tune takes some forgetting. otwo

hree years on from A Whisper in a Riot, Dublin troubador Colm Lynch is back with an altogether more energetic affair than his debut, with Tickety-Boo. “It’s a bit more rock and roll; it’s a bigger sound. It was recorded differently and it’s heavily influenced... there’s a bit of everything I like in there.” A major attraction of Lynch’s sophomore effort is that it goes close to capturing the intensity and passion for which Lynch’s live performances are renowned. This was a central aim during the album’s production; Lynch felt it essential that the work give an accurate representation of what the group is about. “This album we recorded live, all the players together, everybody lookin’ at each other and doin’ it and feelin’ it... We captured the vibe, the energy; and when you come and see a live show you’re pretty much going to get what you hear on the album.” Since the formation of the band, a new lease of life has been breathed into some of his earlier work. Admitting that his own personal vision was never completely realised on his first record, Lynch reveals: “When I play the songs from the first album with the new band I think, ‘Fuck! This is what I wanted it to sound like! The very first time we got together... we all knew that this was gonna work.” 27.10.09

Tickety-Boo has already met with high critical acclaim. Hot Press’ recent review drew similarities with Springsteen, Van Morrison, Neil Young and Bob Dylan, among others. Despite being flattered at being mentioned in the same breath as some of “the biggest artists of all time,” Lynch also confesses to tiring somewhat of the constant comparisons which can sometimes belittle his own personal style and talents. “I wanted people to go into the lyrics and how the songs were constructed because they’re well put together and they’re well thought out. And the musicians got very little plaudits and there’s some beautiful musicianship on the album. I realise that the album is very heavily influenced and it’s not doing anything new... It’s old school rock n’ roll... [but] at the same time I do think it has its own merits; the lyrics are good and the songs are well constructed. The passion that’s in the album is mine. It’s not Dylan’s and it’s not Springsteen’s, it’s mine.” Despite much critical recognition Lynch has found it quite difficult to really break into the big time, but hopes are high that Tickety-Boo will be the spark that sets the Dublin singer’s career alight. If you get the chance to catch Lynch live in action, do not pass it up: it really is an experience.

MUSIC

Parlez-vous

Vitalic? Following the release of new album Flashmob, French electro megastar Vitalic about music, venues and pills with Jake O’Brien

itting down to interview Vitalic is like taking an Arts course: surprisingly easy and somewhat conceited. That being said, Pascal Arbez is fantastically laid back himself, and devoid of any snide connotations that tend to go alongside acts of such notoriety. Furthermore, this middle-aged electro prince retains an oddly humbling sense of self worth and identity. The proof of this harebrained theory rests in how Arbez differentiates between his first and second albums: “OK Cowboy was a bit darker and it was mainly rock influenced, and Flashmob is a bit more funny, sunny, mostly disco influenced.” It must be remembered that, while he might sound simple and perhaps minimalist, Arvez is crossing a language barrier, and some of his lin-

guistic nuances might be getting lost in translation. Nevertheless, Pascal notes the contrasts between both his musical endeavours, stating that the first record was following a certain

Playing UCD was crazy because we don’t have that in France minimalist rock sound savagely mirroring the guitar work of Iggy and the Stooges. “For this second opus I prefer to have something more, more… meaningful, including many different things… like the video and all that.” From here on, otwo’s interview beotwo

comes a scheduled discussion of the idiosyncrasies involved in the world of popular dance music, bounced off the brain of Vitalic. It is therefore important, apparently, that we know that Vitalic’s “tastes evolve and it would be a bit wrong to say this is rock or disco, or it’s punk, or it’s techno or whatever. I change it every time so I would like the people to consider it just electronic dance music.” Yes – that statement sure as hell makes this interview easier(!). No snide identity connotations here: just the subtle ones. Alas, otwo’s impression changes once again. Arbez’s influential musical tastes combine the ludicrous nuances of “smaller disco acts you wouldn’t know” with the high-end commercial brand of Black Eyed Peas and MGMT. It soon becomes evident that Arbez is setting up a 27.10.09

binary through which he makes his particular style of music. He obnoxiously juxtaposes aristocratic musical arrogance with main-line banality, to curiously define his aural identity. Hence, Pascal Arbez does not find solace within the middle ground; in fact, it is in his truancy from this locale that he discovers what is ‘cool’: “Provided it’s cool, I don’t really care…” However, what is ‘cool’ to this scoundrel are the Celts. “Ireland and Scotland are really well known on the continent to be crazy places about music and about partying… [playing UCD last September] was crazy because we don’t have that in France… such a line up; a first class festival in a university doesn’t exist in France, so it was the first time I would see that and it was amazing.” Following his thoughts on playing live, Arbez debates the concrete presence of the drug culture in the world of dance music. “It’s something about really partying. It’s not like taking drugs for the week… so it’s difficult to have an opinion about that.” Nonetheless, true colours are revealed; “I love to play for people on Ecstasy!” So what have we learnt here? That performers such as Vitalic are indeed horrendously complicated? That their tastes swing like a pendulum on amphetamines? Or that characters such as Pascal Arbez are betwixt and between an audience’s preconceptions of fame and success? Not only that, but they are damned comfortable in being set aloof from the middle. In all fairness, the middle is where we, the public, reside. On either side of us are the ostentatiously popular acts of contemporary culture and the more subversive elements of the arts. Yet, on some craning arc between the two and over our heads lies the face behind the equipment: Pascal Arbez. Vitalic. Vitalic plays The Adademy on the last day of term, Friday 27th November. Tickets €33.60

Sarah Doran never ceases to be impressed checking out Delorentos at Whelans

MUSIC

Gigabyte Gigabyte

Calls for the lads to “play some Shakira” brought a grin to bassist Níal Conlan’s face

They say it’s always a good sign when you walk into Whelans to find they’ve already opened the doors leading upstairs, a definite sign that the venue’s sold out. But then selling out venues is nothing new to Dublin based foursome Delorentos. Since first appearing on the scene in 2005 Delorentos have certainly made their mark on the live circuit. Your writer’s last encounter with this fearless foursome was in Whelans in May, on a night plagued by sound malfunctions – which, oddly enough, turned out to be one of the best gigs I’d been to. Ever the professionals, despite some tech difficulties, the lads made sure the crowd were well and truly entertained, even if that meant abandoning their instruments and mingling amongst the masses. Needless to say, I thus walked into Whelans on 17th October with high enough expectations. In the wake of the release of their sophomore effort You Can Make Sound, Yourell, McGuiness, Conlan and McCormick were eager to guarantee a night to remember from the moment they set foot on stage. Then again, it’s not every day that a little Irish band fends off competition from the likes of Madonna to reach number two in the album charts. Calls for the

lads to “play some Shakira” (only She-Wolf kept the boys from reaching the top slot) brought a grin to bassist Níal Conlan’s face: Delorentos were most evidently unfazed. Being perfectly honest, I found myself slightly disenchanted with the album; having heard many of the tracks live before, I felt the album had failed to capture their energy. Yet any sense of disillusion I had was swiftly eradicated as Delorentos took to the stage. Smashing into the set with the album’s title track, the four-piece proved why, despite the difficulties 2009 delivered, they’re still a force to be reckoned with. Stage presence is either something you have or you don’t - but tearing through a varied selection of tracks from both You Can Make Sound and their acclaimed debut album In Love With Detail, Delorentos proved they have it. Guitar strings snapped and microphone stands rattled as Yourell, McGuiness, Conlan and McCormick gave one of the most crowd-pleasing and enthusiastic performances I’ve ever witnessed. I’ve seen Delorentos live five times and they have never failed to impress.

present. With the major Irish festivals ignoring homegrown music, the scene is more focused on making music instead of commercial success and that “the people who are still in it are in for the right reasons.” You can see the band for yourself as

they blast out their mix of nu-krautrock and Nuggets-era psychedelic noise at their album release party at DEAF.

Delorentos return to Whelans on Friday 30th October.

Counting Kranes Dublin electrorockers Twinkranes talk to Daniel Fox Pulsing synthesisers intertwined with a sparse, dissonant guitar behind a wall of drums and floating, almost breathless, vocals: this is the sound of Dublin’s three-piece Twinkranes and their debut album Spektrum Theatre Snakes. The album is a mix of some heavy electro, early psychedelia and krautrock. As for their sound, drummer/vocalist Anto feels that “everyone has a dark side to them and it’s good to dabble in that with the music, but we like to mix that up and put a pop slant on it as well”. In an Irish music scene that is dominated by happy-go-lucky poprock such as the Blizzards or the Coronas, the band definitely see themselves as an “underground entity”. As they say themselves, “There’s always going to be the chart-orientated stuff at the top, but you have to scratch under the surface to find something in-

teresting and there’s a lot under the surface in Dublin at the moment.” The band see the recessionary times as a healthy time for Irish underground music, with the revival of a more DIY approach to music, explaining the rising prominence of guerrilla gigs, self-released records and the general trend of promoters take more commercial chances. An example of the interest in promoting underground music in Ireland is the DEAF Festival, which is sponsored by Dublin City Council and the Arts Council. On a financial level, things are also easier for the bands themselves with reduced rates for practice spaces and equipment. The band feels that the combination of all these factors is “going to make the next few years in Dublin very exciting for underground music.” There is a change in attitude taking place in the Irish music scene at otwo

27.10.09

Twinkranes play the Button Factory on 30th October at 11pm as part of DEAF 2009. Tickets €15/€10.

MUSIC

Ciara Fitzpatrick speaks to Welsh metalheads Funeral for a Friend

Best Of album is usually released before a group’s imminent disbanding, or some time after. Not so in the case of Welsh rockers Funeral for a Friend, whose two-disc Best Of offering, Your History is Mine: 2002-2009, was released last month. In fact, the group is heading back to the studio in January to record new material. otwo caught up with drummer Ryan Richards, he of the deep growling backing vocals, who explains why the best of album came about. “It started out as a record label thing,” says Richards, explaining that the band’s previous record label had the option of releasing a compilation, and decided that now was a good time to do so. “When they started getting everything together for that, we thought it’d be better if we got together with them on that, to make it an actual worthwhile release, rather than them just putting what they liked on.” The band have toured the UK and America, and supported Iron Maiden on a European tour. The five-piece are touring the UK this month to promote the new release. “We’re playing for an hour and a half every night which is the longest set we’ve ever done, but it’s been getting easier the more we’ve been getting acclimatised to it, ”says Richards.

ikel Jollett never wanted to be a songwriter; he dreamed of being a novelist like his idols, Charles Bukowski and Philip Roth. “There was a time when I wanted to be a younger, fitter, better looking Bukowski. The fact that he had no problem aiming the arrow of blame on himself really appealed to me. The idea of ‘f*ck you and your good impression’; I like that.” During his first years of adulthood and after graduating from Stanford, Jollett moved back to his hometown Los Angeles where he worked as a carpenter and contributed to magazines and newspapers such as Filter and The LA Times. But everything changed for

And with those vocals, does he ever wake up with a croaky voice the morning after a gig? “Not really, I guess it’s kind of natural really… animal instincts, I don’t know.” Richards credits the live shows as being vital in contributing to the group’s success, especially in the age of illegal downloading; “I think the only thing that people pay to still do is go to your gig, to – you know – buy your shirts; in that respect the live thing is really important for us, ‘cos that’s where we actually get to get some income from what we do. So I think if we just relied on CD sales we wouldn’t really be able to sustain it ‘cos everyone’s thieving. Thieving your music. So, yeah, they can’t thieve our shirts. We’ve got someone looking upon the shirts all the time.” FfaF’s lineup has changed a number of times; they’ve seen the departure of no fewer than five members over the years. It seems surprising that the group were never shaken enough by these departures to give up and disband. “I think we always try to capitalise on every situation, no matter how negative it might seem at the time,” says Richards. The band are noted for using unconventional

methods of recording; in the past they’ve worked in places like a producer’s van, with the sound pumping through the vehicle’s sound system; and also outdoors, where lead vocalist Matthew DaviesKreye was “outside singing on the street, whilst people were walking past, driving past, and giving odd looks.” Despite their kookery, the band have devoted fans all over the world, and often recognise faces in the front row of gigs. “I don’t know quite where they get their money from or what job they have that gives them all this time off,” says Richards, “but it’s certainly nice to see them there and singing along – we’re lucky to have fans who are dedicated and follow us everywhere.” Funeral for a Friend’s Best Of, Your History is Mine, is out now.

John Gallagher gets serious with the Airborne Toxic Event the Californian native one week several years ago during a period when his father was terminally ill, he found out his mother had been

diagnosed with cancer, his partner had left him, and he himself was diagnosed with a life-threatening autoimmune disease. It was then

that Jollett started writing songs and formed the Airborne Toxic Event. The troubled period which Jollett speaks of certainly reflects in the lyrics of the band’s self-titled debut album. It has led to some criticism. Pitchfork Media, which rated the album 1.6 out of 10, suggested TATE had created an embarrassingly crude and cliché album in an attempt to copy successful and acclaimed indie bands like of Arcade Fire and Bright Eyes. “TATE embodies the Hollywood ideal of paying lip service to the innovations of mavericks while trying to figure out how to reduce it to formula,” according to Pitchfork’s Ian Cohen. In reference to the album, Cohen joked that “it’s the musical equivalent of showing up to a bar with a bad fake ID and throwing a hissy-fit when you get carded.” In response Jollett pleas, “I was a struggling writer living in my room, trying to write an album when I thought my parents were going

otwo

27.10.09

Book Book Review Review

REVIEWS

Curiously Compulsive Amy Walsh tackles A Curious Impulse, the latest tome of UCD’s creative writing classes

Curious Impulse is an anthology written by the UCD creative writing class of 2009. A combination of short stories and poetry, the tome exceeds expectations and truly delights, with stories encompassing themes as diverse as unsettling infants and glorious shopping trips. Susan Stair’s story ‘Leaving Traces’ is a contemporary reflection on marriage. Intensely clever, this work provides the reader with an insight into the mundane intricacies of married life. Similarly, ‘The Dynamiters of Quebec’ by Colin Barrett is preoccupied with the dynamics of family life. Here the perspective of the young protagonist is manipulated brilliantly, with childish naïvety lending itself to the story and making for an insightful read. Anne Graham’s ‘Jesus Christ Pose’ is as abstract as it is engaging. Here, her manipulation of language becomes a work of art in itself, divulging fascinating imagery. This story is evidence of the quality and perspective that can be achieved with creative writing.

‘Tangled up in Blue’ by Mariad Whisker steals the show as a piece that proves accomplished literature can be achieved in just ten pages ‘To Hell with Poverty, Let’s Kill a Chicken’ is a notable addition to the book. As the title suggests, Anne Coughlan’s memoir, set in 1960’s Dublin, is intriguing and evocative, centred on a mother’s extravagance in borrowing one hundred pounds to take her daughters shopping. This is a glance at a different Irish society where money was scarce and treats were few and far between. Jamie O’Connell’s ‘Daisy’ explores bullying and isolation through the eyes of an infatuated teenager. The narrator provides a poignant portrait,

Just Joshin’

which highlights the tragic consequences of social exclusion. On a somewhat similar note, ‘Tangled up in Blue’ by Mariad Whisker steals the show as a piece that proves accomplished literature can be achieved in just ten pages. This story makes accessible the troubles in Northern Ireland, embodying compassion and humanity that is not quickly forgotten. A hallmark of exemplary story telling, this piece shines. The poetry contributed is thought provoking and challenging, engaging the reader on a personal note, and enticing them to read more from these gifted poets. A Curious Impulse is not so much a collection of work, as an exhibition of skill, by individuals who have mastered their craft. The resonant hum of raw talent is audible throughout; a must-read, you cannot fail to be inspired by this book. This anthology is a credit to the writers who contributed to it; as an exposure of creative endeavour, it is not to be missed. Amy Walsh

Music Interview

Life could not be better for Josh Ritter right now as signalled by an upcoming return to his spiritual home, writes Paul Fennessy

osh Ritter loves Ireland. From our musicians (“Bono’s an entertainer and I’m always entertained by him”) to the unique mannerisms of Irish crowds, he is constantly singing the praises of our humble Emerald Isle. Unlike most musicians who might occasionally stop off in Dublin if we’re lucky, Ritter has chosen to embark on an extensive ten-date tour of this country, having already played here last year. However, the relationship is clearly characterised by mutual affection, as Ritter was continually captivating crowds on these shores, even before anyone had even heard of him in his native America. But what is it that makes his music resonate so much with Irish people? “I remember the first time I played was in Whelans opening for Glen [Hansard, Ritter’s longtime friend] and I hadn’t played in front of that many people before, especially not people who yell at you. And I really liked that, I thought it was a great moment and I don’t know if I played well or not, but I do remember

that it felt like it was an open communication.” Evidently, Irish music fans know a good thing when they see it, as his star has risen considerably overseas since his Irish breakthrough. Nowadays, as a result, he gets invited to plays shows at Central Park, as well as being offered slots on the David Letterman show. Moreover, last April, the singer got married. Half-expecting a haranguing for making reference to his personal life, otwo is relieved when Ritter replies courteously when asked if this transition will prompt a radical departure in his music. “It just changes what you think about really,” he says. “It just changes who you are on a fundamental level and there’s loads of other responsibilities too.” “The challenge is just to keep on working as your life changes. I don’t think it affects my music, but there aren’t many other things in life that can make you jump up and make you realise what you’re playing music for and what you’re writing music for.” otwo

Following this momentous occasion, Ritter reverted to type and headed for the recording studio. He describes the result of his endeavours, which is due out in the New Year, as “a big kind of tapestry of oil painting that I’m really proud of... I listen to it a lot,” he admits. Evidently not all songwriters adhere to Noel Gallagher’s rather simplistic method of using a rhyming dictionary to write songs. Ritter claims that creating one song in particular, constituted an incredibly arduous process that took “eight or nine drafts over a couple of weeks” to complete. Well, whatever the result, you can be sure there will be at least one yeller in Whelan’s. Josh Ritter played Whelans last week. 27.10.09

The songwriter has just finished recording his sixth studio album.

Drama Review

Buck Jones and the Body Snatchers

n an early October evening, mere minutes after the sun has set over Dublin, a peculiar event begins at Ionad na Phiarsaigh on Pearse Street. Buck Jones and the Body Snatchers, a restaged Irish production from last year’s Dublin Theatre Festival, takes place in this time warped building across a multitude of fantastically Georgian rooms. Indeed, rooms they are. This,

after all, is a house; nothing more, nothing less. The building has been assimilated by the theatre movement to hold such events as Bodysnatchers and it does it incredibly well. The play concerns the efforts of Buck Jones (Paul Meade), a well-to-do buffoon that unwittingly clings to life as part of the Dublin aristocracy while badly attempting to bring notorious grave robber and highwayman Larry Clinch (also Paul Meade) to his own personal justice. Ulterior motives are to be had though. Larry Clinch is the only soul alive that knows the whereabouts of Jones’s bastard child who he had with an old mistress. However, the plot thickens as we find out that she is dead; alas, she was gunned down by none other than Jones’ best friend from across the Irish Sea, Charlie Toland (Denis Foley). Betwixt and between all of this choreographed insanity are

REVIEWS

Jake O’Brien is captivated by a dramatic oasis in the heart of the city Buck’s wife, Elvira (Roisin Gribbin), and her French maid, Marietta (Gene Rooney). It must be stated here though, that to continue with any semblance of plot summary would be an utterly futile act. The story is marvellously detailed with a script that lends both depth and satire to the magical performances on stage. As an audience, we were lead around the house and its rear exterior by the cemetery watchmen Gobbet, mesmerizingly played by Beckett veteran Barry McGovern. Not to be tied down to only one interesting dramaturgical twist, it comes to pass that all of the actors double as their thematic opposite. While Buck Jones is naïve, bumbling and dreadfully conceited, his contrasted counterpart, Clinch, is sincerely motivated, focused and deceptively honourable. Nevertheless, this is but a tiny example of what a relatively small ensemble cast can produce through an astoundingly fast-paced piece. In retrospect however, the real success of the piece is in the simplicity with which they distract the audience so that one would never think that there was a difference in

the actor-character ratio. All aspects considered though, Bodysnatchers reminds this writer a little too much of Oscar Wilde’s glorious The Importance of Being Earnest. The site specific tone of farce mixed with the general absurdity of the on-stage personalities unfortunately allows the audience’s mind to drift and come to the conclusion that we are watching a lesser representation of Wilde’s legendary play. Furthermore, while the audience are lead, like elephants through the jungle, around the set/house/ stage it becomes curious to assume that we are being subjected to an unintentional aspect of the Theatre of Cruelty. Thus, on a late evening in early October, mere minutes before Burger King becomes the home of drunks and degenerates, a peculiar thing has happened and one cannot help but shake the intelligence, energy, and undeniable atmosphere that violently explodes from Buck Jones and the Body Snatchers.

David Mamet, the creator of the play, wrote it in 1982. It is set in 1983 and, together with the nearperfect accents compliments of the actors, brings the viewer in to a close replication of the lifestyle that it reflects. According to producer James McNulty, “the play draws partly on Mamet’s experiences of life in a Chicago real estate office, where he worked briefly in the 1960s.” When viewing the play, the questions “Why is it called Glengarry Glen Ross? Am I watching the right play?” may arise. Fear not! Yes, you

are watching the correct play. Its name is just obscure to the average UCD student (Glengarry and Glen Ross are both American company names, so you know). As it is about salesmen, bribery, intimidation and the like, the actors must set out to do the same to their audience. Are they successful at this? Well, I wouldn’t like them talking to me like that!

Buck Jones and the Body Snatchers. was part of the Dublin Theatre Festival.

Dramsoc’s

Glengarry Glen Ross Not wanting to “sell the leads” of the play in this article, Dramsoc offer us up the brass tacks in this neat twisty taste of Chicago business life in a show premiering tonight at 7pm in Dramsoc’s LG1 (Arts Block) and running nightly until Friday 30th October. The greatest feature of this production is the diverse portrayal of its characters. From the opening scene, we look inside the desperate world of two men engaging in various business ideals – John Williamson and Shelly ‘The Machine’ Levene. Actor Ger Adlum sets a real standard in transforming Shelley’s appeal, depending on what situation his character happens to find himself in. At the opening, he is a forlorn man desperate to attain funds off a former junior workmate John, played by Paul Fleming. Towards of the middle of the play,

however, Shelley gains the upper hand and is transformed perfectly into a once-again confident man, eager to boast about his tales of success to any recent naysayers. This doesn’t last for long though, as his biddings catch up with him when said naysayer (Williamson) burns him in the final scene. Other complementary pairings include Dave Moss and George Aaronow, played by James McNulty and Finbar Doyle respectively. Moss is a know-it-all confidant who speaks shrewdly about his intentions, actions and pleasures, while Aaronow is a remorsefully silly character, devoid of brains and timing. Together, the pair are reminiscent of Laurel and Hardy: Doyle is perfectly capable of making Aaronow seem gullible, but later in the play you’ll find out that this is just a product of Doyle’s acting brilliance. otwo

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Glengarry Glen Ross runs from the 27th-30th October, 7pm nightly (Friday 6pm). Tickets €2/€3.

GO TWO

Kris on a Bike: A cycle to the Cyclades otwo’s Kris Goodbody shares his tour diary as he cycles from Blackrock to Greece have firmly decided that cycling is the finest form of travel there is – it’s the best way to engage with the landscape. Most forms of transport involve looking out a window of a stuffy car, train or plane, cut off from the smells, the sensation of the wind, even the rain. Looking out the window might as well be looking at it all on television. These are the thoughts that were running through my head, cycling through Normandy’s farmland breadbasket, heading for Paris on the longest day of the year. We passed the first night in an abandoned fort of some kind; waking up with a face covered in spiders, with corn fields as our bathroom, was to set the scene for the rest of the trip. A few days passed and the kilometres rolled by. Eventually we found ourselves looking at the twisted arteries of

roads leading into the city of Paris. In a judgement made with a lethal cocktail of stupidity and fatigue, we decided that the best route into this bustling metropolis would be via the four-lane-wide motorway. This resulted in us, for the first time on the trip, being faced with the possibility of imminent death. A decidedly grim yet exhilarating few hours passed and we arrived, exhausted, into the centre of Paris. At this point we had to take a train to the coast, due to time constraints, before alighting on a punishing three-day cycle to the coast. Our first encounter with the Atlantic was emotional. We found ourselves in a dense pine forest at twilight. Looking for somewhere to camp and drink some well-earned rum, when suddenly the ocean was just… sort of… there. With no further communication we stripped down and made for the cold water,

Passport to Paris Spare cash? Check. Flat shoes? Check. A desire to abandon vegetarianism? Eh… Bridget Fitzsimons goes Parisien Bored with the Irish scenery and having just got a big tax rebate, I decided a last minute holiday was in order. A week after booking, my boyfriend and I were on the plane to Paris, wondering if the hotel we had hastily snagged would be nice, or indeed in any way habitable. As our taxi rolled up outside the hotel, I was filled with dread. Our

temporary abode was surrounded by sex shops and strip bars, and I was truly frightened of what the hotel would be like. Luckily for us, lastminute.com hadn’t let us down but we’d unwittingly booked ourselves in a hotel in the middle of Pigalle, Paris’s red light district. While the hotel was lovely, the region certainly made exploring interesting. There is so much to see in Paris so if you’re there for a limited time, forward planning is essential. I decided that I was going to cram as much as I possibly could into my three full days in the city. We planned a museum-only day on Monday, only to discover that otwo

museums in Paris are closed on a Monday, skewing our timetable in a way easily prevented by forward

planning. What really works, if you have limited time is, to adapt your sightseeing to your specific interests: I didn’t go to the Eiffel Tower, because the queues were ridiculous, but as a lover of literature, I made time for a visit to 27.10.09

Père Lachaise, where Oscar Wilde is buried. Paris is home to some of the most beautiful architecture in Europe. A favourite is the Palais Garnier, the famous opera house, a classic example of neo-baroque architecture. At the opposite end of the spectrum is the Pompidou Centre as

GO TWO

Ich bin ein Berliner

Westley Barnes Catherine Maguire hit the German Capital.

"Looking for somewhere to camp and drink some well-earned rum, when suddenly the ocean was just sort of there"

We’d unwittingly booked ourselves in a hotel in the middle of Pigalle, Paris’s red light district a modern building with all of its pipework on the outside. Parisien food is amazing – so good, in fact, that it made this once-vegetarian writer fall off of the lettuce wagon with a most incredible steak and perfect fine. Different districts are great for discovering little cafés; places like Montmartre and the Greek quarter are excellent for finding gems.

and I was content. Again we set off towards our Athens-shaped holy grail, through to Biarritz. Here we met some great people, whom we would keep encountering all the way to Barcelona. We surfed and drank too much, and then set off on our way over the boarder to San Sebastian. With a stomach full of wine and rum, and the constant puking, some of the majesty of crossing our first land border was somewhat lost. Yet through the terrible fog of one of the worst hangovers of my life, some dull feeling of accomplishment did resonate, and even in the grips of ‘the fear’ I did manage to look forward to the Spanish leg, which I was fairly certain was going to be the hardest challenge so far. Catch up with Kris in Spain in our next issue on 10th November

Bringing comfortable shoes is essential. While Paris is the fashion capital of the world, bring your flats. The cobbles are not conducive to walking in heels and you will find yourself walking everywhere. There is really no need for public transport when visiting Paris, as the sights are so beautiful, it’s far more fun to meander and discover things at your own pace. The city can be expensive, but the trick is not to buy things at the typical tourist areas of the Louvre and anywhere around any of the other attractions. Look for shops on unknown street corners for bargain Coke, instead of paying €3.50 for a lukewarm can at a stall beside the Eiffel Tower. It’s possible to count the pennies in Paris as long as you’re careful. otwo

Berlin is the kind of city that you night. really think you ought to move to The Film Museum, with rooms - a rocking, raving, graffiti strewn dedicated to German expressionmodernist haven and breathtaking ism, wartime propaganda and new capital of culture. This is where a German cinema, is probably the Banksy mural can appear comfortmost impressive museum otwo ably on the same apartment block has ever set foot in. Located in the as any teenage amateur’s tag. Fuscyberpunk-style shopping megaing the classical with the modern, lopolis of Potzdamer Platz, it’s a the old spectre of capitalism hangs must for anyone with a bit of taste. ghostly on some building facades, The Germans are known for their but the homogenised need not politeness and punctuality; they fear as you’re never too far from certainly live up to the reputation. a Starbucks. The U-Bahn and S-Bahn systems What really makes Berlin worth take you from A to B exactly when banging your bucks for is the they say they will, so otwo had no nightlife and problem planning On a lighter note, sheer artistic trips with shopping and eating its ambience of military preciout in the city the place – one sion. First on the wonders where is as easy as Strudel list was Berlin else decadence Zoo (in one word: is so freely expressed, encouraged huge). It took the bulk of five and indeed promoted. In a city dehours to walk around the complex scribed by its mayor as “poor, but and to visit the famous polar bear sexy”, Berlin should be seen as an Knut. The only problem with the example to other recession-ridden development is that it is quite European states: a city more obbadly signposted; most of the disessed with the here-and-now of rections shown led to somewhere going out, than that of “fumbling entirely different and most of the in the greasy till” and staying in. five hours were spent looking for otwo’s fondest and most said bear, but otherwise it was an ‘out-there’ experience of Berlin enjoyable trip. nightlife was at an underground On a lighter note, shopping and rave which took place in a disused eating out in the city is as easy as swimming pool. The pool itself is Strudel. Kurfürstendammstrasse is now an art gallery, with exhibithe largest shopping street in Bertions hung in the shower stalls lin, and plays host to the KaDiWi, and adorning the walls of the Europe’s largest department store, pool itself. Known as the Artpool while Alexanderplatz also has its (inventive, eh?), its location in the fair share of shops as well. After a perceptibly dodgy neighbourhood hard day of chasing retail outlets, of Wedding is an attempt to clean stop off at Wittenburgplatz for up the area’s image and attract excellent food and cocktails. some boho types. Every month, Successfully mashing up old quirky artsy-ies and cool-as-fuck and new, Berlin maintains its techno DJs, collaborate to bring historical appeal, while still being the clubber a basement rave under the avant garde centre of Europe. the pipes. The only downside to From pool raves to haute couture the experience is that the Wedding shops, Berlin is a diverse cultural district is slightly awkward to get Mecca that will always be the hub to and can be a bit imposing at of excitement.

27.10.09

FEATURE MUSIC

The creator of the inimitable Ross O’Carroll-Kelly, Paul Howard, talks to Grace Duffy about journalism, culchies with green ink, and being mistaken for Ireland’s favourite D4

The name Paul Howard may not ring a bell off-hand, but throw his most famous creation into the conversation and an instantaneous flurry of recognition will bubble to the surface. The author and journalist has surfed the crescent of Ross O’CarrollKelly’s wave of fame in recent years to become a well-known and respected figure in the public eye, though not everyone is as appreciative of his literary invention as others. Discussing the iconic status in which many now hold Ross, the writer chuckles and reveals he finds it “extremely odd,” illustrating in an hilarious anecdote how many still (remarkably) confuse his fictitious character for a real person. “I was in Brown Thomas about a year ago, and a woman came up to me and took me to task for the fact that her son had started to idolise Ross and ape his behaviour. Hilariously, she said to me, ‘You’re Ross O’Carroll-Kelly, you’re supposed to be a role model for our children!’ and I thought that was very funny. I never thought people would take it as seriously as they do. When I started writing the original columns, the intention for me was that people would hate his character, but people have kind of taken him to their heart.” We in UCD are uniquely equipped to appreciate the more loathsome aspects of the D4 culture Ross so grotesquely exemplifies, making it all the more surprising that many hold him in such high regard. However, Howard interjects that he made the conscious decision to afford Ross enough glimpses of likeability to ensure he wouldn’t be entirely frowned upon. “If people were going to follow it for a long time, I knew there would have to be some evidence of soul, so I think consciously after about two years I did start to put in tiny little glimpses of lightness. I think that’s what people have responded to, that’s why they like him.” Reaching such a pinnacle of acclaim with a literary creation is something many writers aspire to and long for, yet there are those who bemoan the onset of recognition as a double-edged sword. It is not so with Howard, who recalls with typical good humour the disparaging correspondence he received at first. otwo

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FEATURE MUSIC “At the beginning, before I ever attached my name to the column, people didn’t know who it was, and used to speculate about who was writing it. I used to get some quite funny letters from people who thought the column was real. A man used to write to me from somewhere in Tipperary in green ink every week, and say stuff like, ‘You’re a waste of skin’, and ‘In my day we knew how to treat women!’ But since I started to go on chat shows and radio and do public signings, I think just about everybody knows it’s me who does it now.” Discussing how he went into journalism,

You’re Ross O’CarrollKelly, you’re supposed to be a role model for our children! Howard credits a writer called Paul Foot with piquing his interest early on. “When I was younger, I used to follow a journalist called Paul Foot who wrote for the Daily Mirror. He used to write an investigative column and I used to cut that out every week, it was brilliant stuff. He was championing the cause of the Birmingham Six and the Guildford Four ten years before anyone in the British legal establishment accepted they were innocent. I still have those columns to this day and I think he was probably the reason I wanted to be a journalist in the first place.” The popularity of his own columns has allowed Paul to pursue full-time authoring, the freedom of which he happily declares has been wonderful. “My life hasn’t really changed, but I suppose one thing it’s allowed me to do, ‘cos I’m a full time author and I don’t have a day job, is it’s given me a lot more time to work on other things I wanted to do. When I was a full-time journalist I always had about seven or eight other projects on the go and would eventually abandon them ‘cos I just couldn’t find the time in between my real work. But now I have the time, I’m working on a biography of a historical figure and I’ve been able to put three or four years into it. That’s really exciting for me, to have the time to do the work I want to do.” Howard’s flair for writing non-fiction books stands out most prominently amongst these other projects. His flawless encapsulation of the superficial world of D4 is testament to his literary skills, but there is a passion and drive clear in his voice when he discusses works such as Hunger and The Joy. “With The Joy, I was asking myself a lot of questions about the way we dealt with addiction in this country, especially the way the criminal justice system saw it as its remit to handle people who were addicted to a drug. I had a couple of friends who were heroin addicts in the 1980s and

they told me some of their stories. I happened to meet this prisoner who had spent most of his adult life in jail. He contracted HIV and died during the course of the interviews and I just thought, ‘What a wasted life.’ “With Hostage [a book about IRA kidnappings], I was just really interested in that period of history. When I was in school, there was a period during the late 1970s and 1980s when the IRA were conducting these really high profile kidnappings. It’s a funny thing to say, but it was really exciting as a kid to hear those reports – it was like something from the Wild West and it was on the news every day! So that period, when the IRA were kidnapping people between, say, 1975 and 1983, just really interested me.” Contrasting a time of such anxiety and distress with the relatively carefree society that evolved in the mid 1990s, it is quite striking to consider how vast a change the country had to undergo for a character such as O’Carroll-Kelly to become as iconic as he has. Howard reveals that on reflection, it is “a little bit odd” to perceive this, and says he notices it most when confronted with more serious subjects.

A man used to write to me from somewhere in Tipperary in green ink every week, and say stuff like, ‘You’re a waste of skin’ “About three years ago, I spent some time in the North, interviewing the men who survived the 1981 hunger strike. At that time I’d been writing nothing but Ross for about five months, and it was really intense to go up North, knock on the doors of these former IRA men and ask them if I could talk to them about the hunger strike. During the course of finding these men, I’m sitting otwo

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down and writing the pieces up, and completely unconsciously I typed the word ‘roysh’ during a sentence break! It’s funny, little things like that. But I’ve never found it difficult to go from writing comedy to writing serious stuff. I’ll take a month or two off after finishing a Ross book and then decide I’d like to work on something more serious, but there’s usually a bit of time between the two.” A garrulous and warm interviewee, it is refreshing to see the esteem in which Paul is now held. Envisaging a possible return to a more journalistic focus, he says, “I haven’t had time in the last twelve months or so, but I do want to go back to it. I think I probably will in the next year, I’d say.” With the decline of the Celtic Tiger keeping the disintegration of Ross’ world ubiquitous in the public consciousness, it shall be interesting to see where both character and author go next. The need for satire and good humour is stronger than ever in the face of the deepening economic rut, so let us join together in the cheerful fraternal bonds of D4 pisstaking, and see what Howard – and our beloved Ross – have yet in store. Ross O’CarrollKelly’s new book, Rhino, What You Did Last Summer, is in bookshops now.

Beautiful &

FASHION

The

THE

DAMNED

Seán McGovern loves Halloween – and celebrates the obscene with the help of one particular Partie Monster

alloween is one of those occasions that seems to be either adored or ignored – and while there are those who view it as a night of extreme and hyperbolic self recreation, there are others who simply hear two words: ‘naughty nurse’. While Halloween is a night of the grotesque, there’s no reason why it can’t be divinely so. Costume shops all over the county are brimming with outfits that, although fun and outrageous, will fill refuse bags the next morning, stained and beyond repair – particularly worrying if the costume

Sophie Lioe tries to keep “I’m holding this bag on the crook of my arm so you can all see how cool I am with GUCCI written on every spare space of the fake cheap PVC of this ultra-classy handbag I picked up on a street corner in Torremolinos last month! Don’t I fit it?!” That’s what might as

her temper while advising us that sometimes it’s just best to fake it well be emblazoned across the suitcasesized handbags dangling off the arms of misguided fashionistas. One question: why? otwo

Clearly the aim of these handbags is to proclaim to the general public something along the lines of ‘I know this brand is cool, therefore I am too’ – except it clearly states the exact opposite. Surely those in the know realise that discretion, as well as individuality, is key. Since when 27.10.09

did it all become about names? Chanel is quite exclusive, but there’s no need for it to be the one and

FASHION

has been rented. But for others, though, Halloween marks a time to use their own sense of creativity to make something personal. Mimi Rouge of monthly clubnight Partie Monster, in Rí-Rá, believes that Halloween should be taken seriously, especially the aesthetics. Partie Monster is a night where fashion and perceptions of beauty meet: an environment where the emphasis is on image; not about how you should look, but how you want to look. Mimi is a firm believer in ‘DIY glamour’, “As the night progresses you really slip into these different characters. It’s still you, but it’s a different version of you.” The ideas for Halloween are endless. There is, in fact, no need to go as “somebody” or “something”. While shops may provide costumes to rent, Halloween is made for trash fashion. Says Mimi, “There’s loads of different reasons for dressing up. Some people use it as a form of exhibitionism, or to get in touch with a darker side of themselves, or more simply to be more eccentric with their normal style.” Expensive Halloween costumes can result in a lot of unnecessary trouble. By the time day chases night and the experience is over, your €90 costume with €10 delivery costs will likely have followed your example and become a haggard mess. As a seasoned body-switcher, Rouge knows that she’s talking about. “Don’t go out and buy the readymade costumes off the internet.You can be creative with the clothes you already own, or cheapo shops and fabrics like tulle or voile. I went to Ikea and they have voile for dressing windows – they’re brilliant for making dresses or for wrapping around yourself.” Has she any other Halloween suggestions? “Bodypaint, bodypaint, bodypaint!” is her

only reason to buy a bag. By all means, buy fakes. We aren’t all (unfortunately!) the spoilt offspring of multi-millionaire New York businessmen in our Upper East Side penthouses that splash our cash at the nearest Louis Vuitton boutique when we’re bored

chirpy response, with the preferred source being Makeup Forever on Clarendon Street. Whether or not Halloween is the only night of the year where you dress up, let it not be a wasted experience. Halloween is an opportunity to leave your body for one hideously fashionable night, only to find it somewhere on the street the next morning. No matter what inspires you – movie characters, dead Hollywood stars, monsters of folklore or simply your imagination – don’t balk as you catch a glimpse of yourself in the window of a random Spar, with black kohl creeping its way down your face. Remember, beauty is found in the strangest of places.

Photos: Peter Fingleton

of enduring another Management Accounting lecture. Therefore, fakes are the next best thing for us mere mortals who spend our weekends trawling through the bargain buckets at Penneys. Just choose your fakes well: how well a brand name is etched otwo

across the side isn’t the basis subtlety for good taste. Christian Dior didn’t spend his life cutting his name out of dodgy-looking plastic so it could be stuck onto some even worse looking fake leather. We can all read, but sadly not all of us have good taste. Maybe we should start 27.10.09

a campaign against this. Let’s buy the trashiest handbags we can find and scrawl our names in unflattering lines all over the thing. Maybe then people will start to get the hint that maybe what makes a bag cool is the actual design and not what’s written on it.

FASHION

drop dead

stylish The dead shall live again in the fashions they created: this Hallowe’en Seán McGovern and Amy Walsh look at how Hollywood legends Joan Crawford and James Dean iconised both film and fashion in their lives – and deaths

Sharp shoulders, nipped waists, defined eyes and lips: the look of autumn/winter 2009, reminiscent of high-powered fashions of the 1980s. But look further: back to Joan Crawford, a Hollywood icon both for her films and her kalaidescopic personal life, whose look was entirely of her own creation. Emerging from the silent films of the twenties with the look of any pretty but silent starlet, Crawford reinvented herself completely: Lucille LeSoeur was renamed, rebranded and redefined. In order to succeed, Crawford knew that a defining look was as important as the talent she could bring to her roles. Her spark of originality allowed her to create a style that was unconventional and all of her on, with sharp and dark eyebrows, and mouth perfectly sculpted into a red creation. Crawford understood that to overcome her naturally broad hips she needed to sculpt her image into something entirely unique and unforgettable. Crawford decided to exaggerate her shoulders: all her dresses, suit jackets and formal gowns of the 1940s and beyond were padded to extraordinary detail. This inflation of the shoulders did not make her look more masculine; by nipping all the dresses at the waist to excentuate smaller hips and emphasise her shoulders, she made Hollywood notice that Joan Crawford was as much in control of her look as she was in her construction of persona. The look of Joan Crawford has evolved after her own incarnation. Joan Collins told the costume designers of Dynasty in the 1980s that Joan Crawford in the 1945 film Mildred Pierce was the epitome of glamour and style. The 1980s is remembered for as a decade with so many identifiable looks, all of varying quality, but shoulder pads defined the decade just as they defined the image of the women who wore them. Princess Diana’s wedding dress is an internationally

recognised over-emphasis on the shoulders. Today, the look originated by Joan Crawford has evolved again. With contemporary thinking,

Shoulder pads defined the decade just as they defined the image of the women who wore them

a streamlined version of her original styles have emerged, featuring clean lines, tight cut and a focus on shoulders that does not verge on the ridiculous of the 1980s, but takes the exaggeration of 1940s Crawford and plays with it. Balmain and Alexander McQueen are only two of the majorly acclaimed fashion labels that are paying homage to style that has gone before them in a playful, sexy and new take on one woman’s classic. Joan Crawford died alone in suspicious circumstances in 1977 but it is certain that her look has lived on and reborn, decade after decade. James Dean is regarded as one of the most influential cultural icons of the twentieth century. His famous mantra of “live fast, die young” certainly does not refer to the endurance of his style, which has undoubtedly influenced and inspired fashion for decades after his tragically premature death. The 1950s was the decade when the word teenager was coined. This era was about youth, their icons, their aspirations and their style. James Dean’s “bad boy” attitude, popular films and controversial death made him an idol amongst young people who identified with his rebellious and moody demeanour. otwo

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Denim jeans, in their early years, were worn exclusively as work clothing. During the fifties, film and rock stars such as Elvis Presley, Marlon Brando and James Dean all exhibited the “jeans look“. Inspired by these stars, teenagers began to revive denim. By the 1960s denim jeans had been incorporated into mainstream fashion. James Dean wore his jeans branded, perfectly fitted yet entirely casual. His position as a “denim icon” inspired Lee Jeans to add a replica of his style to the Lee Originals collection. His contribution to the long-standing association between denim and rebellious youth has inspired designers for more than half a century. Like antiheroes Marlon Brando and Steve McQueen, Dean “owned” the leather jacket look, making it a must-have for future rebels, with or without a cause. Dean is also celebrated as having popularised tight white t-shirts, a look that has been recycled by designers time and again. Dean’s “look” is as much about attitude as it is clothes. His outward appearance captured his infamous bad boy philosophy, exuding confidence and timeless sex appeal. This ideal has carried his image and style to the altar of immortal stardom, which he shares with contemporaries like Marilyn Monroe. Dean captured the imagination of a rebellious and idealistic generation, and as long as teenagers trademark themselves with casual denim and fitted shirts, Dean’s style legacy lives on. This season, leather has made a comeback on the catwalk. Leather jackets, both biker and fitted, feature in Calvin Klein and Armani autumnwinter collections. On the high street, TopMan and Tommy Hilfiger are advocates of the leather jacket, casual shirt and denim jeans combo. If you want to reflect what’s in this autumn, look to the legend and absorb some of the angst.

Rising Time FILM & TV

Sally Hayden speaks to Sean Ferris, producer of the forthcoming historically based 1916 The Musical

“Divine Inspiration”: this is how Sean Ferris, the creative producer of the forthcoming 1916 The Musical, describes the moment when the genesis of an Easter Rising musical came to him – at a time when he didn’t even know what the Easter Rising actually was. If you’ve ever wanted to see Tom Clarke and Padraig Pearse singing and dancing in unison on the steps of the GPO, you’re in luck: the team behind this monumental conception plan on making the Rising a “360 degree experience”, including a concert tour, a documentary, a reality TV talent search and the “all-singing all-dancing extravaganza” that will crown it all when it hits stages in 2011. It wasn’t by coincidence that otwo met Sean and his co-executive producer, Amadin Ryan, in the Shelbourne Hotel – it’s a landmark of the historical event, from which British soldiers machine-gunned rebels who were occupying Stephen’s Green. Though based in London, Ryan and Ferris are over here on an information-gathering mission, to discover the views of the Irish people. Both British, though Ferris’ mother was from Derry, otwo can’t decide whether they are incredibly clever, or incredibly naïve – or possibly both – to have taken on a subject as historically weighty as 1916 as an artistic project. As an occasion that culminated in many casualties and deaths, that still impacts on modern politics (with anti-Lisbon posters last month declaring 1916 as the year that Irish democracy began, and with the recent renewed Programme for Government even mentioning it), otwo asks whether the producers, as Englishmen, fear animosity for their

decision to turn this into a musical. Ryan answers: “I would say it’s an international story; the Irish are all over the world. There are many subjects that have been brought up over the years. I mean, if you think about slavery, so many things have been done from the arts point of view, and yet this is still a contentious issue. I think if you’re telling a story it’s never too soon, there’s still going to be pain attached but that story should still be told.” Ferris adds to this, “The Rising’s just in your face in Ireland, in Dublin especially. I mean, when I came for the first time I suddenly realised how important and how significant it was and how very sacred and controversial it was, but theatre is about freedom of expression. I’m not into doing safe musicals, I’m not into producing safe theatre; I’m into doing something that’s going to cause debate and a bit of a stir.” The plot revolves around a British soldier and a feisty Irish girl who encounter love and betrayal to the backdrop of the Rising, but will also feature Clarke, Pearse and a touch of James Connolly. Not only this, but the casting of the two lead roles is to be done through a TV talent search, working title Stars in the Rising. Auditions will be held in five venues in Ireland and Britain, hitting TV screens in autumn 2010. And then there’s the music, described by the producers in a way that sounds suspiciously rehearsed: “It’s definitely not Riverdance. Orchestral cinematic sound, a very full-on epic philharmonic symphonic sound, and I’m mixing that with raw contemporary Irish sounds, and bringing it out with a West End vocal, without any otwo

otwo can’t decide whether they are incredibly clever, or incredibly naïve – or possibly both – to have taken on a subject as historically weighty as 1916 as an artistic project.

warbling but raw Irish natural voices, and mixing that all together to create an inspiring, totally unique sound.” It is true that sometimes it takes a foreigner to approach a sacred cow. Though otwo feels slightly concerned when Ferris mentions that they want to stage some sort of centenary celebration in “your big GAA stadium” (Croke Park, where 14 Irish citizens died after being gunned down by Black and Tans in 1920), the commercial brains – considering the looming centenary – have to be noted, as well as the fact that nothing disperses tensions quite like a musical. “We want it to be inspirational and give people an opportunity to be able to express themselves using this as the subject. You can look at the negatives, but you can also look at how far we’ve moved on. Maybe looking at it from this perspective will give new generations a better understanding of where they might like to go, and what they might like to do with that information.” With a rumoured funding of €11 million so far and a 15 year roll-out plan, Ferris and Ryan are thinking mammoth: Broadway and West End. However, only time will tell whether this will be a commercially successful venture. “You can’t stage something like the rising on a stage without it being epic, it just doesn’t work. 1916, although some people laugh and joke about it, was actually the catalyst for greater things to come.” Register your interest at www.1916themusical.com to get involved.

27.10.09

FILM & TV

REVIEWS

Released: October 28th Director: Shane Acker Cast: Elijah Wood, Christopher Plummer, Martin Landau At its best visually stunning, at its worst painfully banal, 9 is a film of unfulfilled potential. It follows 9, a miniature sack cloth robot, as he ventures out into the ‘emptiness’ to… well… that’s all we know. From the outset we are unceremoniously dumped in a post-apocalyptic world with little explanation of what’s going on, or how we got here. That said, the opening scene is genuinely one of the most beautiful sequences you’ll see this year, promising a darkly gothic tale with tragic but loveable characters in a grand sweeping adventure. 9 comes so close to delivering on its promise. The key selling points are here –

Released: November 6th Director: Grant Heslov Cast: Ewan McGregor, George Clooney, Jeff Bridges Unlike the Vietman war, a subject so sensitive that films on its subject took years to emerge, the Iraq war has already featured in American cinema. The sugar coating of so many is that they’re political satires opening the minds of the great unwashed, which is exactly what The Men Who Stare At Goats thinks it is. But it’s not: sadly it’s just ninety minutes of non-evasive cinema. Due to a muddled (and lets be honest, dumb) plot, a simple synopsis is what’s needed. All that’s certain is this: Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) goes to Iraq as a reporter to prove himself to his wife, who has left him for his one-armed editor. There he meets Lyn Cassidy (George Clooney)

stunning visuals, inspired character designs and Tim Burton’s name attached to the credits – but it never forms a cohesive narrative. Yes, the scenes are at times breathtaking and always visually interesting, but the poor handling of the plot and the disappointingly short running time leaves you unsatisfied, and the empty space in your pocket where €9 used to be all the more noticeable. The most interesting thing about 9 is how the viewer’s expectations are immediately circumvented: newcomer would have been expected Shane Acker to have created another dark, ‘Burtonesque’ tale of the artificial outsider – 9’s origin reeks of Edward Scissorhands, and his physical design of the Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy – but the result is a CGI monster film, more Cloverfield than Corpse Bride. Indeed, the sci-fi references come thick and fast, with everything from War of the Worlds to the likes of

the Fallout series getting a look in. In the end, the characters remain underdeveloped and difficult to empathise with. Viewers end up waiting endlessly for some kind of dialogue or plot exposition to help you figure out the undoubtedly fascinating world you’re being shown, but it never comes, lost under a sea of CGI fight scenes that take up most of the movie. Ultimately, the main plot issue here is motive; nobody has one, and it shows. 9 is certainly worth watching, its animation all-grown-up and will doubtlessly will be a cult favourite in years to come. A classic, though,this is not. IN A NUTSHELL: The Borrowers’ as told by Tim Burton, and as Acker’s directoral debut, shows great promise - but like the film itself, fails to follow through. Jon Hozier-Byrne

a name he heard while interviewing a nut for his local paper, who claimed that the American military trained a special force in psychic ability to fight and kill enemy soldiers. Bewilderment and hilarity – and goats – ensuse. This is like some bizarre Ocean’s Eleven in Iraq, a concept far too poor for the film’s cast. The narrative jumps backwards and forwards in time, becoming far too much like an episode of Scrubs. Despite all this, though, The Men Who Stare at Goats isn’t a bad film, saved by the perenially wonderful Jeff Bridges as Bill Django, illuminating the screen in his every scene. It’s a shame that the character development doesn’t go far enough to invest in him; a character who could have had weight and poignancy is sadly deployed as a means of hurrying things along. The Men Who Stare At Goats is a film with an inflated sense of self-importance. Any commentary it has about war is drowned out by

the constant use of ironic rock songs. The end result is a film that thinks it has delivered an important message, when in fact it has merely provided a few laughs and 90 minutes’ reasonable enjoyment. You’ll leave feeling entertained; the only problem is that you should feel more enlightened too. This is the ultimate failure of the film. IN A NUTSHELL: Mature entertainment that doesn’t tax the brain, but if you want political satire, rent out In the Loop. Seán McGovern

otwo

27.10.09

FILM & TV

Horribly Terrifying Characters Released: Now Director: Paul Weitz Starring: Chris Massoglia, Josh Hutcherson, John C Reilly

Take the Oscar-winning screenwriter of L.A. Confidential and an actor used to working with Martin Scorsese and Paul Thomas Anderson. Pair them together in a film tackling the subgenre of horror that seems to have captured the zeitgeist like no other at the moment, the Vampire story. What do you get? A bit of a mess, really. To be fair to both Brian Helgeland and John C. Reilly, Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant is not aimed at an audience they usually cater to. An adaptation of Darren Shan’s Vampire Blood trilogy of ‘young adult’ horror novels, the film centres on teenager Darren (Chris Massoglia) and his best friend Steve (Josh Hutcherson) as they attend an illegal freak show, lead by Reilly, in their dreary town, and are subsequently sucked into a world of snake boys, bearded ladies and century-old wars between different sects of the Vampire world. In a month that alone sees HBO series True Blood arrive on DVD and the cinema release of Thirst, from director Park Chan-wook of Oldboy fame, The Vampire’s Assistant might be viewed as a more teen-friendly take on an age-old myth, but it’s hard to see how any teenager could take pleasure in a film so devoid of tension or scares. It’s also hard to believe that the man who adapted James Ellroy’s magnum opus into such a wonderful script could pen dialogue as banal as the opening voiceover of musings on the unpredictability of life with all the wisdom of an agony aunt column. Although the narration is soon ditched, one almost wishes it were kept around for unintentional comic effect, which may have relieved some of the films boredom. Matters aren’t helped by the CGI-heavy special effects, which are no better than a well-budgeted TV show, or by the frankly uncharismatic performances from its two teen leads. Of course, it may seem irrelevant to criticise a fantasy film on issues like the acting or screenplay, but when the film is directed by Paul Weitz, whose brother and frequent collaborator Chris is directing the next instalment in the billion dollar Twilight franchise, comparisons are inevitable, and do The Vampire’s Assistant little service. IN A NUTSHELL: If you can’t wait for the upcoming New Moon… be more patient. This isn’t going to fill that batshaped void. Padraic Coﬀey

It’s Halloween: you need a costume, otwo needs a ﬁlmic countdown. Jake O’Brien lists the ten scariest cinema characters out there • Patrick Bateman from American Psycho (2000) Christian Bale’s psychologically disturbing portrayal of the deranged Wall Street fat-cat Patrick Bateman indeed reigns supreme as the most terrifying character of all time. Though not technically from a horror film, Bateman’s psychotic normality alongside the twisted instability of his actions secures his place as the terror inside horror. • Freddy Krueger from Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Glove made of blades? Check. Fantastically deranged red and green top? Check. Slick hat? Check. Gruesome facial injuries? Check. Kruger has the whole package. A child murderer killed by vindictive parents, Freddy parades throughout children’s dreams with tenacious violence in mind. His ability to strike brutality within the security of sleep makes him a more than viable contender in this countdown. • Frank Booth from Blue Velvet (1986) “Let’s fuck! I’ll fuck anything that moves!” Truly, you have to see it to believe it. Director David Lynch creates a holistically believable and contemporary villain in this character. Booth operates as a purveyor of all that is depraved and debauched within a society. His unyielding malevolence, mysterious breathing apparatus, and penchant for rape allow Frank Booth to terrorise you from the safety of your cozy suburb. • Jack Torrance from The Shining (1980) Considering that Kubrick nearly drove Jack Nicholson to genuine insanity to achieve this outstanding performance, it is indeed evident that the finished product would be viciously horrific. “Here’s Johnny!” Need I say more? • Dr Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs (1991) A cannibal that knows his way around the human anatomy? Scary. One that enjoys doing so with a fine bottle of Italian wine? Petrifying. Even while serving to aide the FBI, Lecter manages to strike fear into our hearts through not otwo

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only his 3” padded cell, but through our screens as well. • Regan from The Exorcist (1973) Masturbation with a crucifix in the early seventies was bound to strike a chord, whether by a child or not. Certainly, this character holds a particularly honourable mantle when it comes to horror. Combining the suburban mysticism of Catholicism with the curious urban legends which surrounded the production, Regan ultimately began audience’s fascination with ‘The Little Girl’ of horror. • Michael Myers from Halloween (1978) It is felt that nothing need be said about Halloween’s biggest filmic star. He’s seven foot tall, silent, brandishes a kitchen knife and possesses one of the creepiest masks on the market. Mix this with his massive Oedipus Complex and you have yourself one fine, upstanding serial killer. • Leatherface from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) Subject to numerous parodies and one too many sequels (something he and Krueger have in common); this giant bound in dead human flesh brings a much needed dose of hillbilly into this countdown. He has a chainsaw and the IQ of a goldfish: terror in simplicity. • Ted Bundy from Bundy (2002) From a little known film based accurately on the man himself, Ted Bundy is our true life insurrection for this list. Moreover, his atrocious actions throughout the mid-seventies are probably a bit too horrific for the pages of a humble culture supplement. Read his Wikipedia: you won’t sleep for a week. • Harry Powell from The Night of the Hunter (1955) This self-appointed preacher, played brilliantly by Robert Mitchum, coaxes his way into a widow’s home, secretly searching for her deceased husband’s hidden money. Abusing children and slitting throats are Powell’s game, and he’s damn good at it too.

FILM & TV

Conor Barry looks through the horror archive and picks your cinematic Halloween playlist Halloween is, as everyone knows, a time for partying down in stupid costumes while committing random acts of vandalism. However, if you have no friends/ parties, fret not: there is always the slightly more pathetic option of a horror film marathon. Myself and fellow otwo loser Seán McGovern took on this torch of shame and spent a night trying to scare the Hell out of ourselves. Then we watched some horror films. First up, Hellbound: Hellraiser 2. We follow the heroine of the original Hellraiser who has wound up in a psychiatric prison because she kept moaning on about how the guardians of Hell stole her father’s soul. Through some not particularly exciting series of events, with the aid of fiddling a magic box, the gates of Hell are opened and the so-called “Cenobites” are released again. People get torn to shreds, kiss skinless women and eventually enter a version of Hell that looks strangely like an Escher drawing. The main reason we chose this film is because it terrified Seán when he was younger. I can see why: a group of freaky men, one with pins in his head, climb out of Hell to steal your soul just because you played with a toy box. It’d keep you away from Rubik’s Cubes at least. But now that we are wise old men does it still pack the same punch? Well, sort of. Maybe I’ve become cynical in my old age but the plot makes no sense. As Seán reminds me, the girl was wandering around Hell in search of her father. Focusing on the grosser bits, some people do get completely mangled – exactly what some will want from a film – but even this is too little, because most of the film is speech. There were some freaky parts, and a little trip to Hell was fun for all the family, but overall Hellbound is bound to disappoint. Next: Rosemary’s Baby, Roman Polanski’s tense masterpiece. Rosemary and her husband arrive at a new apartment where all the neighbours are a bit odd. When Rosemary realises she has mysteriously fallen pregnant, she begins to wonder where it came from, rightly so. Thus starts a tense slow burner of a mystery that’s genuinely terrifying. The issue with this film is it’s too good. Shoved in between two slightly lower quality films just made it seem… strange. The point of a Halloween film is to make you jump, scream and laugh a little, but Rosemary’s Baby dulls you into a steady gaze with the screen that you refuse to break out of fear. This was Seán’s experience, at least, because I fell asleep. One of the many pitfalls of the horrorthon is the guy who falls asleep during the movies, but I think I was justified. I signed up for an all out scare-fest, not high quality psycho-drama. Regardless, when I awoke Seán seemed genuinely freaked out by the film, perhaps worried about his unborn child. The shift from Hellbound to this was the equivalent of reading a copy of Nuts followed by Ulysses. It is genuinely chilling, brooding and worrying; not necessarily suitable for jumpy thrills. I have since watched the film, by the way. It’s amazing. Last, but – holy crap! – by no means least, Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Freddy Krueger haunts teenagers’ dreams, leading them not to sleep for fear of dying a horrible, bloody and unexplainable death. While the first Nightmare was too obvious and the second was complete crap, number three nailed it. It has all the things you need from a horror film: the jumpy bits where Krueger appears out of nowhere, the gross bits where a kid otwo

is dragged along by his intenstines, but – most importantly – it knows it’s a stupid film and makes fun of itself, such as when Krueger slams an aspiring actress through a TV shouting “Welcome to prime time, bitch!” All the stereotypes are there too: the hot girl, the token black guy, the nerd. Watching the nerd attempt to kill Freddy by turning into a wizard may very well be the best thing I’ve ever seen. These films are perfect for Halloween – the type where you know people are definitely going to die, so you’re on the edge of your seat for the whole film before they inevitably meet their maker in the most grotesque way imaginable. It’s also perfect for that semi-party atmosphere because it doesn’t actually require much attention – you can actually chat with people and just quiet down for some fantastic deaths. otwo also guarantees you’ll have at least one dream about Krueger. There you have it. Far and away the most successful film of the night was Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Not necessarily the best film, but since when has Halloween been about quality? However, realising that a single film does not quite make a horrorthon, otwo suggests adding American Werewolf in Paris, Final Destination 2 and Cool Runnings.

27.10.09

FILM & TV surprisingly enough, Gareth David-Lloyd (mmm Ianto), Tracy-Ann Oberman (she of Torchwood One fame) and Joe Ab-

Seven of Nine

solom (who was never in Torchwood or Doctor Who, but it didn’t feel right not giving him some brackets). The plot is simple: Absolom plays Vincent Boylan, a man arrested on suspicion of murdering seven women, Ianto plays Det. Matheson, who’s desperately trying to get a confession from Boylan. Oberman once again plays the head honcho though, presumably this time she doesn’t get cyberfied. As she and Matheson interview Boylan, they get drawn into his twisted mind games and soon realise that he hasn’t stopped at seven, and it’s a race to save the eponymous girl. (otwo isn’t sure why number eight has been summarily ignored, perhaps she’s

As the lastest oﬀering from Torchwood writer James Moran hits the internet, Catriona Laverty asks, can you save her? At just five minutes an episode, and only six episodes a series, Girl Number 9 isn’t your average crime drama. Add this to the fact that it’s not even going to be on TV, and you may think we’ve mixed our pages up in otwo this week. Well fear not, we haven’t gone entirely crazy just yet. Girl Number 9 is the latest offering from Torchwood writer James Moran, and stars

not very nice/smells of cheese.) Regardless of their odd number bias, the promotional material and trailer are very promising. With each episode only five minutes long, the pace should be frantic and will hopefully make for addictive viewing. According to the official site, each episode will end on a cliffhanger, just to keep us on the edge of our office chairs. Also, the fact that it wont distract too much from the library means that Girl Number 9 is perfect study viewing – unless of course you get sucked in to all the very clever promotional extras such as the forum, the Twitter feeds and the website. The Twitter feeds are particularly interesting, you can follow the characters before and during the show and they drop hints and tips to help solve the case – y’know like a budget murder mystery weekend without the trip to Achill. You can follow the characters @CJLYNDON, @ vincentboylan, and @ryan_dunbar or if you don’t want to get too into it just follow the show itself on @girlnumber9.

If the show is a hit, it may be released on DVD later in the year, a very small DVD obviously

The first episode will go live on the website www.canyousaveher.com on 30th October at 9pm, with episodes two through six starting on 2nd November. If the show is a hit, it may be released on DVD later in the year – a very small DVD obviously.

Here come the Future Boys

WWE might not be a real sport, but it’s still entertaining, Breﬀni O’Sullivan previews the stars of the future

Professional wrestling is fake – it’s a form of entertainment, taking cues from the pageantry of theatre and presenting them as an athletic art form, albeit often devoid of logic or taste. While its popularity and mainstream acceptance has taken a tumble recently, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE, formerly the WWF) remains at the top of the heap, spearheaded by current superstars like John Cena, Randy Orton and Rey Mysterio. While many of us ‘90s kids remember the glory days of ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin, The Rock and Mick ‘Mankind’ Foley, many staples of the so-called ‘Attitude Era’ are still forces today, notably The Undertaker, Kane, the Hardy brothers and a reinvigorated Shawn Michaels. But what will happen when these big names fade away? Who will be the next WWE superstars? There’s certainly no shortage of contenders. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Jr. Sons of the legendary Dusty Rhodes and ‘Million Dollar Man’ Ted DiBiase respectively, the men otwo

collectively known as “The Legacy” are cementing their, eh, legacies as stars of the future. Starring in the upcoming WWE film The Marine 2 (God knows that needed a sequel), DiBiase is being groomed as a future posterboy for the business and based on his technical prowess, few could argue against his potential. John Morrison & The Miz John ‘Don’t call me Jim’ Morrison and former tag partner Mike ‘The Miz’ Mizanin both entered wrestling via MTV’s Tough Enough reality show. The “Dirt Sheet Duo” are Intercontinental and US champions respectively, and both are hitting their stride as notable singles competitors. Morrison is one of the most eye-catching superstars in recent years, appearing in fur and jewels to Hendrix-esque strains of entrance music, while Miz’s obnoxious frat boy persona generates a unique hatred from the crowd. Both have great futures ahead. Bryan Danielson The greatest wrestler you’ve never heard of. Currently signed to a 27.10.09

WWE developmental contract, Danielson, trained by Shawn Michaels, has delivered stunning performances for years on the independent circuit as well as being the cornerstone of the Ring of Honour promotion (as showcased in Darren Aronofsky’s The Wrestler). A master of in-ring action, Danielson, despite his relatively small stature, could be the next big thing. While there are countless other prospects in the wings including Dolph Ziggler, Dublin native Sheamus, Kofi Kingston, Beth Phoenix and Zack Ryder, WWE certainly has a capable group of performers willing to take their game to the next level to entertain the fans and to produce top notch television. However, WWE is less than accommodating in facilitating development prior to TV, providing a false economy and an unnecessary hurdle in new stars’ own future success. With such untapped potential, another boom period could be on the cards for WWE and its owners, the McMahon family, if they realise it.

FOOD & DRINK

P TO

Cheapo Wines

At this time of year, everyone’s looking worried about their wallets – so Louis Westwater is here to share the best five cheap nights in

Paul Masson Rosé There’s no doubt about it, folks: Paul is a man that deserves to be treated with respect. Be prepared for 1.5 litres of Californian rocket fuel that will be your best friend for a night, but your worst enemy for an indefinite number of subsequent hours. For sessioning purposes, the Rosé is your best bet, though some may opt for the white if one’s palate favours that extra bite of acidity. Grab a pint glass and some ice and neck it, like a true wine connoisseur. When Bush went to Iraq looking for weapons of ‘Mass’ destruction, someone should have told him they were right on his doorstep! The bottle also makes a great vase, perfect for all the botanists and romantics out there.

3 Chilano

Full Irish Breakfast

“Break that fast with the big Irish” says Jake O’Brien. The perfect cure for hunger, hangovers and healthy hearts ly:

e on nd I mean on Ser ves one, a 3 Sausages shers 3 Smoked Ra ing 2 White Pudd ing 2 Black Pudd n 2 Hash Brow 1 Fried Egg

Beans to 1 Grilled Toma ast 2 Slices of To gold) Butter (Ker ry s??? - Ed the mushroom ut bo a t a h W

2 Buckfast

Southwest England’s finest export since Ambrosia Devon Custard, this magical concoction, originally a ‘tonic wine’, has cemented its place atop the upper echelons of legendary status amongst Irish college students and junkies alike. Something of a Marmite to the wine world (you either swear by it, or swear whenever it is mentioned), its sugary bouquet and nectar-like flavours have drawn criticism from the British government on numerous occasions, who claim that ‘Buckie’ encourages underage drinking and anti-social behaviour. Bottoms up!

Not to be confused with ‘Chileno’. Both the red and the white are highly palatable and can be picked up in Tesco’s for €7.99; knock a euro off this price when shopping at independent off licences around the country. This is a real find, and would convert even the strictest beer drinker into a patron of the grape! Refreshingly different and easy to drink.

JP Chenet Because a wine review isn’t wouldn’t be a wine review without something French in it. Dunnes are currently offering 3 bottles for €15, along with ‘Inycon Fiano’ and ‘Torrelongares’. All these labels are suspiciously cheap and are mass-produced, but at a fiver a bottle, UCD students deserve to be aware!

Wally’s Hut

A mouthwatering Australian white, this one is a favourite with the ladies. Slightly cheaper than Blossom Hill in most outlets, and far superior in composition, body and finish, the tongue is instantly captured by a burst of fruit: kiwi, pineapple, and a hint of gooseberry all come to mind… okay, that’s all waﬄe, but with a €6.99 price tag, Wally’s serves its purpose, as evidenced by outstanding sales at the Merville Centra.

This may seem like a lot. Some would even go as far as to call this excess. These people are wrong. So very, very wrong. Lock these naysayers in the attic with their crosstrainers and herbal tea and get down to business. Whip out the grill, for pretty much everything, and a frying pan for the egg. Hash browns can be taken care of either way. The sausages and rashers can be done in the grill, giving about double the time for the sausages as you would for the rashers. These should take no longer than twenty minutes during which time you must remember to turn the goddamn things! Fine. Burn them. See if we care. While you are at it you can lick the nearest chimney. Now, if nothing is on fire, whack the sliced pudding on the grill with the halved tomato and hash browns. Turn them! While all of this is happening find a place to keep the bacon warm. It is of the upmost importance that you keep the bacon warm. When all of these items are reaching the end of their stay on the esteemed grill, heat up the frying pan with a healthy dose of vegetable oil. Once it is unreasonably hot, crack a large egg straight into it. This, however, is a point of serious academic debate. How do you, the readers, take your eggs? I don’t care. Just leave them in the pan longer than four minutes if you want them not to be runny. Mmmmm! A fine texture of rubber. Freaks. Heat the beans in a pan, butter some toast and congregate this greasy excuse for a society on a large plate. Optional accompaniments include: Ketchup, fried mushrooms (ah! there they are), marmalade, and the morning paper. Mandatory accompaniments include: a pot of Barry’s (Lyon’s -Ed) Tea, a bowl of sugar, and a half pint (or two) of Guinness to brave the Tuesday ahead. Christ almighty! It’s only Tuesday!

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FOODWEB & DRINK 25

with Gavan Reilly Imagine a world where a family is so desperate to get on TV and to glimpse the slightest piece of fame that you would allow you would stage a stunt, where your six-year-old son is (apparently) trapped in a hot air balloon hovering thousands of feet above sparse American desert, only for it to miraculously (!) transpire that the child was hiding in the attic all along. Oh, wait, has someone already done that? Ah well. How’s about reliving the Wolf Blitzer interview on CNN where Balloon Boy mutters to his father that it was “for the show”? http:// short.ie/balloonboy is your only man. Bonus points if you want to watch Balloon Boy’s family make their second (!!!) apprearance on the American version of Wife Swap - http:// short.ie/uo41 is part 1 of 5. Or, if you’re like most of the rest of the world and basically think that the Heene family

deserve nothing more than the contempt of society at large, F*ck Yeah 4Chan has done the job for you http:// short.ie/uo42” http:// short.ie/uo42 Meanwhile, as you inexorably slip into study mode, your attentions will slowly turn to the pressing issue of picking your study playlist. Now, otwo is more than familiar with the differing schools of thought on the subject of study music; while most people enjoy having an aural distraction to break the monotony of revision, studies suggest that facts should be memorised in the environment they have to be recalled in – i.e. total silence. Thank Christ, then, for the BBC’s interpretation of John Cage’s seminal 4’33”, which checks both boxes. Have a look at http://short.ie/uo43

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Of course, all work and no play makes for a pretty crappy student experience, so you might want to take up a new hobby to get you through the days. otwo suggests taking a lead from these clearly-overlybored frat boys - http://short. ie/uo44 - who have turned common sense on its head by proving you can become even less employable by spending four years in university. Who knows, maybe if you work hard in college you could become as popular as Nobel

27.10.09

laureate, mediocre ex-pat Barack O’Bama? Skewed and all as American news outlets are, feast your eyes on an actual list of 2009 presidential cock-ups at http://short.ie/ uo45 Which leaves just enough time for you to sit around with your mates and write a script for a new episode of Jerry Springer/Jeremy Kyle/whatever, supplemented by the sound effects from http://short.ie/ uo46 to gaze in stupefied awe at the genuine brilliance of a twelve-year-old drummer (http://short.ie/uo47) - don’t worry, it was years ago, and otwo is told that the guy is a washed-up drug addict now; and a talented singer who you likely won’t be seeing in Glee any time soon ( http://short.ie/ uo48). If you have any links to share with WebWatch, drop us a line – mailto:webwatch@ universityobserver.ie webwatch@universityobserver.ie.

ICONS

otwo icon:

David Norris Famous for politics, activism, Joycean scholar and wit, Senator David Norris is a national treasure: so where to begin? Seán McGovern does his best to find out When dealing with the life and times of David Norris there is no way to avoid, and no reason not to begin with, what is now a solid part of Irish history. It was 1988 when David Norris became not only a familiar name in Ireland, but internationally. Norris v Ireland was his victorious court case which led to the decriminalisation of homosexuality in 1993, a mere sixteen years ago, leading the way for the attitudes of Irish homosexuality to grow and change to what they are today: a sharp and steady push toward civil marriage. Armed with the formidable legal force of Mary Robinson, Norris obtained evidence from American psychiatrists and Cambridge academics that homosexuality was not an ‘illness’, and that they “weren’t sick, unbalanced, crazy, crosseyed, anything like that.” The victory in the European Court of Human Rights, as he puts it, “blew the veil of silence away from it and made a lot of very frightened people around the countryside realise that they were not alone.” The story of David Norris’s victory cannot be summed up in one mere article, and there is certainly more to this man than this one monumental moment in history. David Norris was born in Leopoldville in the Belgian Congo in 1944, his father died when he was a small child and Norris was sent to Ireland to live with family here. Having earned a BA in English Literature and Language, he became a tutor and lecturer in Trinity College. It was from Trinity that he won his seat in Seanad Éireann in 1987. Senator Norris is one of the few politicians who can be known as an entertainer. He laughs when asked about balancing politics and personality “I think you can make serious political points with sugar-coated humour.” He remembers once meeting a former student who said how much fun his lectures were, which helped her learn that formal education didn’t have to be arduous and painful. “It’s the same with politics, you can strike a fairly powerful blow with a crack… the Archbishop of Dublin, Dr Connell, foolishly repeated some of the turgid drivel the Vatican comes out with about human sexuality... the newspapers

got me to call and demand that I say something, and I didn’t particularly want to, but I discovered that Dr Connell got his doctorate in Divinity on the rather remote and archean topic of how God communicates with angels. “So I just said that ‘Dr Connell may know everything there is to know about angels, but you can take it from me that he knows sweet fuck all about fairies.’ They put that in The Irish Times but they softened it. They said ‘sweet damn all’. It was ‘fuck all’, not for the profanity but that the

“I just said that ‘Dr Connell may know everything there is to know about angels, but you can take it from me that he knows sweet fuck all about fairies.’ They put that in The Irish Times” otwo

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alliteration suited.” My question of politicians’ expenses not only highlights Norris’ feelings on the matter, but allows for glimpses into his international work. The senator mentions how misinformed reporters choose to ignore truths about how many politicians actually spend their money. One who accused Norris of claiming daily travel expenses (although he lives in the north city centre) mixed it up with the daily allowance he claims when he sits in Seanad Éireann, money which he says he uses to cover expenses of delegations as well as paying for the occasional lunch, where many a political deal is struck. “When I went to Australia I cashed in my first class ticket and went all over the place in steerage. I ended up in Beijing. I opened dialogue for major cultural exchange that’s still going on.” We move on to the topic of what Norris likes to read. “I just finished another John Grisham novel, they’re great; but no one need underestimate me as an intellectual. I have the complete works of Beatrix Potter, Maeve Binchy and Georgette Heyer – you know, the Regency romances.” And how he relaxes? “I go to church, and then I go to lunch in the Kildare Street Club. I have a little table to myself, and I listen to Sean O’Rourke on the news… Tevick [Norris’s partner] says I only go for the music and that is not at all true. But I think beautiful music helps. If you have a Schubert Mass, a Haydn Mass, it is glorious.” otwo then asks who his own icons are. There are many – from Raoul Wallenberg to the Dalai Lama – but the biggest in particular is “my ex-partner, Ezra. He’s been shot, stabbed and jailed by the Israelis for reaching out and helping the Palestinian farmers. At the moment he’s waiting sentence on another case where he went in to protect the pathetic little hovel of two elderly Palestinian farmers by going inside it. He goes in; two soldiers go in and obviously clout the hell out of him, and he’s being sentenced for attacking them!” And as he says those final words, the interview ends with an assurance that David Norris, like so many of the rest of us, is inspired by his very own personal icons.

MUSIC

THE BLIZZARDS

SEASICK STEVE

PARAMORE

Album: Domino Effect Rating: B-

Album: Man From Another Time Rating: A

Album: Brand New Eyes Rating: B

The fourth studio album from the selfprofessed hobo from Oakland, California could be his strongest yet. His voice’s preacher-like quality is allowed to shine here, unlike on his previous albums, where it was drowned out by his wizardly guitar playing. The new collection of songs contains an eclectic mix of electric blues: ‘Diddley Bo’ introduces the listener to a cohesive and diverse album. Slower acoustic numbers like ‘Just Because I Can’ sound more like the work of Tom Waits than that of a man who spent a good deal of the last century running the railroad and working as a carnie and cowboy. With his beloved cigar box guitar, Steve has created an album that will transport you to another time.

Tennessee quintet Paramore have hit the big time (quite literally, as number one in the UK and Ireland) with their third album. Mixing reliably catchy pop hooks with lyrical introspection, the band don’t stray from the formula that made them famous, but inject enough newfound pizzazz to ensure a few sceptics may be won over. Hayley Williams’ voice has come along in leaps and bounds, and while it remains vexingly whiny, she’s grown enough spunk and charisma to accentuate the flair of the music. First single ‘Ignorance’ is a stand out, a ridiculously addictive attempt at corrosive Billy Talent-esque staccato rock

The lads from ‘Mullgaria’, Co. Westmeath, have had quite a journey over the last couple of years, and this album shows maturity and depth compared to A Public Display of Affection. That being said, Bressie’s main vocal is frequently mixed too low, as if his voice was being used more as a background instrument than a leading component. The multi-layered harmonies work well, and tracks like ‘Buy It Sell It’ and ‘The Domino Effect’ exhibit intricate lyricism, while ‘Trust Me I’m a Doctor’ demonstrates the band’s continued ability to make a classic single. Yet there is a certain degree of dull, trance-like ambience about the CD, probably adding fuel to the train of thought that nothing this band have recorded is as powerful or energetic as their live show.

In a nutshell: The best is yet to come.deserves a listen. Louis Westwater

that lingers long in the memory. The attempts at haunting laments (‘Misguided Ghosts’, ‘The Only Exception’) fail quite spectacularly, but the fast-forward button exists for a reason.

In a nutshell: TNothing new, but a vast improvement on the old. Sublime when it wants to be, at worst uninspiring: deserves a listen. Grace duﬀy

Reviews

In a nutshell: Close your eyes –

you are on Route 66.

John Gallagher

SHARON SHANNON Album: Saints & Scoundrels Rating: C+ The silent voice of Irish trad music returns with an eclectic band of fellow Irish musicians. From Jerry Fish to Imelda May to The Cartoon

Thieves, Sharon Shannon’s Saints and Scoundrels is indeed a crowd pleaser. However, the only crowd it may please will probably be traditional music lovers. Nonetheless, Shannon’s music should inspire a growth spurt in her fan base with this release. From the erratic opening track, ‘Mama Lou’, to the haunting lyrical closer,

‘Rake at the Gates of Hell’ and ‘The Scoundrel’s Halo’, this album seeks to once and for all amalgamate varying factions within the world of Irish traditional music. The end product is an incredibly diverse sound, comprising world music with tribal beats and deliberately disjointed composure. Indeed the pinnacle may come in one of

two places: either in the funky depths of ‘The Wild West Wagon Train’ or in the appearance of Shane McGowan on the album’s aforementioned closing number.

In a nutshell: A classic Irish record, but unfortunately doomed to the stereos and iPods of a somewhat different generation. Jake O’Brien

Album of the Fortnight MUMFORD & SONS Album: Sigh No More Rating: A+ The debut album from this swashbuckling south London four-piece, released 2nd October, is filled with dark and confessional lyrics and a mesmerising ability to ensnare the listener, as seen in the title song ‘Sigh No More’. As far as these influences go, they are deliberately modern within a genre typically quintessential of an uncomfortably illustrious and English way of life. Their songs – charged with all the emotional intensity of Bon Iver – make it difficult not to be fully captivated by their raw honesty and

lovelorn tales. ‘Little Lion Man’ is a favourite track on this esteemed debut album and is a perfect example of their offset pining lyrics with upbeat instrumentation. Topped off with Winston Marshall’s trebly banjo, it is the perfect accompaniment for Mumford’s gravelly tones.

In a nutshell: They gave it all,

without fail!

Emma Murphy otwo

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Aries (March 21 April 19) Purple is the answer. I don’t know what the question is, but the answer is definitely purple.

ENCORE

The Arts Block Cat soothes you by saying stuff. Because that’s what soothsayers do, yo

Leo (July 23 August 22) You do know that top is transparent, don’t you? Virgo (August 23 September 22) Go on. Do it. If you don’t run away to join the circus now, when will you?

Taurus (April 20 May 20) The stars decree that you should ask a UCD gardener out on a date. Romance will surely blossom. Har har. Gemini (May 21 June 20) This fortnight, you will be tempted to ask, “is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?” You were surprised to learn that it was, in fact, a gun – but only very briefly.

Libra (September 24 - October 23) To prevent serious injury befalling you, refrain from touching any object whose name begins with the letter P.

Scorpio (Oct23 – Nov 21)

Cancer (June 21 July 22) Something deeply pleasurable will happen you in the next fortnight. Gravy will be involved.

[ Gig of the Fortnight: Muse ] 06.11.09 – The O2 – €54.90 - €59.90

Muse, it is claimed, make “rock music for clever people” – albeit people who are slightly obsessed with intergalactic issues and life on other planets. Matt, Dom and Chris take the stage in Ireland once again after the release of their new album The Resistance, a chart-topper in

nineteen countries to date. This is Muse’s fourth time playing here, again accompanied by an out-of-this-world lights show – and for those who aren’t so space-inclined, the drumbeat in Starlight spells out ‘tits’ in Morse Code (check it, it’s true – Ed!). - Sally Hayden

You’re pregnant.

TUESDAY 27TH OCTOBER Dramsoc: “A Life Sentence” – LG1 – 1pm - €2.50 Dramsoc: “Glengarry Glen Ross” – LG1 – 7pm - €3 Devon Sproule – Crawdaddy – 8pm - €12-€15 Box Social EP Launch – Button Factory - 7.30pm- €10 > WEDNESDAY 28TH OCTOBER Dramsoc: “A Life Sentence” – LG1 – 1pm - €2.50 Dramsoc: “Glengarry Glen Ross” – LG1 – 7pm - €3 Nick Kelly – Upstairs at Whelans – 8pm - €17 Kate Walsh – The Sugar Club – 8.30pm - €15 L&H’sD4 Comedy Debate with Paul Howard – 7pm - Free > THURSDAY 29TH OCTOBER Dramsoc: “A Life Sentence” – LG1 – 1pm - €2.50 Dramsoc: “Glengarry Glen Ross” – LG1 – 7pm - €3 Tinchy Stryder – The Academy – 7pm €14.50 Indigo Girls – Tripod – 7.30pm - €28 - €31.50 > FRIDAY 30TH OCTOBER Twin Kranes Album Launch plus David Holmes & Andy Votel – Button Factory – €17 – 11pm Von Shakes – Club F.E.A.R. – 9pm – Free Elton John – The O2 – 8pm - €86.25-€156 These Charming Men – Button Factory – 7.30pm - €15 > SATURDAY 31ST OCTOBER Dean Friedman – Draoícht – 8pm - €22.65 Phantom Hallowe’en Ball with Codes and Dinosaur Pile-Up –8pm – The Academy – €20 Hardfloor (Live) – Twisted Pepper – 10pm – €10-€15

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Sagittarius (November 22 December 21) You should really get that checked out properly, you know. If you don’t, it’ll just keep spreading. Capricorn (December 22 January 19) You’re right – they are laughing at you behind your back. But you’ll have to worry about it all the time and keep turning around really, really fast to spot them. Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) Stop that. Not only is it a sin, it’s also unhygienic. Pisces (February 19 - March 20) You know why the 10 doesn’t stop in UCD? It’s because all the drivers are avoiding you.

> SUNDAY 1ST NOVEMBER CKY – The Academy – 7.30pm - €26 Kevin Doherty – Whelans – 8pm - €14.45 Grizzly Bear – Vicar Street – 8.30pm - €25 > MONDAY 2ND NOVEMBER Passion Pit – The Academy – 7pm - €15.50 Dramsoc: “Disco Pigs” – LG1 - 1pm - €2.50 Dramsoc: “The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)” – LG1 – 7pm - €3 > TUESDAY 3RD NOVEMBER Trashed – ALT - €3 Dramsoc: “Disco Pigs” – LG1 - 1pm - €2.50 Dramsoc: - “The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)” – LG1 – 7pm - €3 > WEDNESDAY 4TH NOVEMBER Mew – The Academy – 7pm - €17.50 Martin Hayes and Denis Cahill – Whelans – 7.30 Dramsoc: “Disco Pigs” – LG1 - 1pm - €2.50 Dramsoc: “The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)” – LG1 – 7pm - €3 > THURSDAY 5TH NOVEMBER Fightstar –The Academy – 7.30pm Yo La Tengo – Tripod – 7.30pm - €20-€24.50 Dramsoc: “Disco Pigs” – LG1 - 1pm - €2.50 Dramsoc: “The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) – LG1 – 7pm - €3 > FRIDAY 6TH NOVEMBER Muse – The O2 – 6.30pm - €54.80-€59.80 Calvin Harris – The Academy – 7.30pm - €30 L&H Strauss Ball – Bewley’s Hotel Ballsbridge - €55 Bootleg Beatles – The Academy – 11pm - €20 > SATURDAY 7TH NOVEMBER Ham Sandwich – Whelans-8pm - €15 Mr Hudson – The Academy – 7pm - €19.50 Dublin Gospel Choir – Tripod – 7.30pm - €20-€25 Dublin Paranormal Convention – SAS Radisson Royal hotel €15 > SUNDAY 8TH NOVEMBER The Drones – Whelans - €13.50 Black Robots – Whelans Upstairs-11pm - €tbc > MONDAY 9TH NOVEMBER Dramsoc: “The Stronger” – LG1 – 1pm - €2.50 Dramsoc: “Journey” – LG1 – 7pm - €3 Eurosaver Mondays – Club XX1 - €1