University Girl Fall 2024: "Unfiltered"

UNFILTERED | FALL 2024

THE OVERCONSUMPTION PROBLEM TikTok is bad for fashion...

AN INTERVIEW WITH JAE STEPHENS Inside the life of an R&B pop star.

THE BATTLE BETWEEN WELLNESS AND WILD NIGHTS Navigating a healthy lifestyle in the midst of a party scene.

AN INTERVIEW WITH DAPHNE BRYANT The mind behind a publication focused on queer, Y2K girlhood.

EDITORS IN CHIEF MANAGING DIRECTOR DESIGN DIRECTORS PRINT GRAPHIC DESIGNERS

GIRL

DIGITAL GRAPHIC DESIGNERS

Bella Tabak & Julia Paperny Revati Mahurkar Revati Mahurkar & Sofia Floresca Finley Banks, Catie Carlisle, Tess Cosgrave, Miranda Fournier, Ana Rodriguez, Gwyneth Seelinger, Leah Sullivan, Maisy Wood, Lily Zuckerman Finley Banks, Mira Busch, Tess Cosgrave, Miranda Fournier, Sarah Friedman, Samantha Goldberg, Xanthe Kakaras, Sasha Koth, Jackie Mirvis, Julian Monteleone, Maxine Moses, Olivia Rosen, Phoebe Sandstedt, Ryann Toussaint, Dylan Ware, Ailani Wong, Maisy Wood, Lily Zuckerman

CREATIVE DIRECTORS CREATIVE ASSISTANT

Ava Bandura & Rachel Musman Shayla Ismael

PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTORS VIDEOGRAPHY DIRECTOR VIDEOGRAPHY ASSISTANT

Diana Valdivia & Hazel Wagner Kennedy Mason Sammy Katzen

MANAGING COPY EDITOR COPY EDITORS

Hannah Karlin Abigail Luca & Madison Sherman

EXTERNAL DIRECTORS PR DIRECTORS

Mia Rosenzweig & Ali Rosenberg Starlyn Terry & Scarlett Luden

LEAD STYLISTS STYLISTS HAIR & MAKEUP DIRECTOR HAIR & MAKEUP ARTISTS

Jamie Bloom & Julia Karasu Sophia Burton, Ryan Frieman, Sammy Katzen, Arianne Randall, Gabby Schiff, Orezimena Ubogu Kelsey Aberbach Katie Armlin, Sarah Friedman, Krystal Poole, Jules Sassower

TREASURER FISCAL ASSISTANT

Lindsey Lu Ava Dilullo

DIGITAL DIRECTORS

Leila Yang & Brooke Fried

MANAGING DIGITAL EDITOR DIGITAL SECTION EDITORS

Elena Fliszary Waverly Brannigan, Ceci Brown, Sophia Cantley, Annette Dunn, Mylin Gonzalez, Nola Hollyer, Rhylee Hudson, Lena Madonick, Madison Mayr, Kacie Moschella, Emma Neenan, Hailey Roy, Chloe Rudnick, Avery Rush, Madison Sherman, Lauren Smetana, Ava Swidler

SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTORS INSTAGRAM DIRECTOR TIKTOK DIRECTORS

Tal Ben Ari & Hannah Abbott Stella Ringblom Emma Neenan & Morgan Magats

MODELS GRWM

Kadiatou Bah, Vianca Sawant, Anna Sweeney

PARTY

Yash Gaikwad, Annette Gonzalez, Phoebe Gulsen, Leila Louis, Nick Miceli, Mia Rosenzweig, Hailey Roy, Madison Tsuchina

AFTER-PARTY

Penda Diop, Daisy Glazier, Madison Gould, Arieza Maglalang, Rachel Yi

HOOKUPS FROM HELL

Kelsey Aberbach, Sierra Bacchus, Carly Phung

4 Letters from the Editors 6 Executive Staff 8 UGirl Picks

Our top 12 products this fall.

14 The Overconsumption Problem TikTok is bad for fashion…

15 The Importance of Finding Personal Style Some tips and tricks for your style journey.

16 Getting Ready is Better Than Going Out

The top ten songs that you can add to your playlist.

18 Meet the Editors

The Unfiltered Version of Bella and Julia.

19 What to Wear on a Night Out

Step out in style because the night is young.

24 An Interview with Jae Stephens Inside the life of an R&B pop star.

26 LinkedIn is Hot

When you hit 500+ connections, you celebrate.

27 UGirl Quiz

What kind of night out do you want?

28 Surviving the College Party World

Exploring the emotions and desires behind wild college nights.

30 The Unspoken Truth About Dating as a WOC

Why I have never believed I am conventionally attractive.

31 The Untold Realities of Black Girlhood

In a world that imposes unbalanced and unattainable expectations on Black and African American girls and women, rejection, hostility and the relentless challenge of simply existing collide with the fight for identity and equality.

32 The Battle Between Wellness and Wild Nights

Navigating a healthy lifestyle in the midst of a party scene.

37 Reflections from a Retired Clean Girl

Because who decided being a little messy was a bad thing?

38 An Interview with Daphne Bryant

The mind behind a publication focused on queer, Y2K girlhood.

40 A Beginner’s Guide to Self Love and Respect Love yourself enough to walk away.

41 Dear Diary: Oversharing is Not a Bad Thing It’s normal to express your feelings.

43 Girl, Put Your Phone Down

There is so much more to life outside of a screen.

44 That Was Awkward...

We’ve all been there once or twice.

46 Finding Self-Confidence

Comparison is the thief of joy. Steal it back.

47 Cocktail Recipe

The Apple Pie Martini.

48 Hookups from Hell

LETTERS FROM Dear Readers,

In the past, University Girl Magazine has focused on being your best self. While there is a place in our culture and media to highlight the best version of yourself, it is not always realistic. With this edition of UGirl, we hope to capture the raw, real side of girlhood.

To me, “Unfiltered” is throwing some cakey concealer on a pimple before running out the door. It is the dirty clothes piled up next to your bed. It is the glasses that decorate your kitchen and living room before going out with your friends. Or the rant that you finally let out about that issue in society that no one seems to be talking about.

This edition’s photo visuals capture the three stages of a night out. We made a mess while getting ready with our friends, let loose at a party, and came home to debrief with a snack.

Our photographers, Hazel Wagner and Diana Valdivia, and our videographer, Kennedy Mason, captured all the magic during our photoshoots.

Our models were camera-ready thanks to our lead stylists, Jamie Bloom and Julia Karasu, and our hair and makeup director Kelsey Aberbach.

Our creative directors Rachel Musman and Ava Bandura curated our vision of a messy GRWM photoshoot into a truly relatable story. Shayla Ismael, our creative assistant, helped direct our models to let loose while on camera.

Our Style section starts this edition off with articles that tackle overconsumption, finding your personal style, and what to wear on a night out. Our College Life section shines a much-needed light on dating as a woman of color and what Black girlhood really entails.

Finally, our Feel Good section dives into the awkward moments of college, and how to find confidence.

Copy editors Abby Luca, Madison Sherman, and Hannah Karlin made sure these articles were ready for the page with love and care.

The visuals and reading material in this edition were masterfully created and curated by our design directors Revati Mahurkar and Sofia Floresca.

I also want to say thank you to our executive team members who work behind the scenes.

Our clothing sale and launch party could not have been possible without our external directors, Mia Rosenzweig and Ali Rosenberg.

Our PR directors Starlyn Terry and Scarlett Luden helped us connect with some of our favorite brands, like Poppi!

And of course, our treasurer, Lindsey Lu, helped us keep our financial ducks in a row.

My final thank you is to my co-editor-inchief, Julia Paperny. Your intelligence, passion, and humor shine through everything that you do. I am so honored to work beside you, and I am excited to see what we will accomplish together in the future.

So, before you start reading, smudge your mascara. Hug your friends and tell them how much you love them. Scream instead of biting your tongue. Post a photo of yourself on Instagram without photoshopping it.

Throw your clothes all over the floor, and be truly unfiltered.

Love,

M THE EDITORS design: Revati Mahurkar

Dear Readers,

Before we dive into this edition of University Girl, there’s one important thing I want you to know—something I wish I had realized years ago. Whether you’re just starting college, scrolling through social media, or interacting with others, remember that the little things you stress about—your body, style, features, actions, or words—are just that: little. What truly matters is what you want, not what others expect. People will love you for being you! I hope to shine a light on the beauty of authenticity because, really, why else would we write over 40 pages about being unfiltered?

the significance of enjoying both the getting-ready phase and the after-party, we can transform what might not seem so exciting into the most memorable parts of the night.

Unfiltered comes to my mind as the mascara that stays on your eyelid that you’re too lazy to wipe off, or the messy bun at a formal event, because it’s a reminder that it’s not always perfect to be perfect. Just like that smudge of mascara, and that messy bun, our true selves might not always fit into neat little boxes, but it’s important to stay true to yourself. This edition celebrates the messy, the raw, and the unapologetically real of not only University Girl, but everyone. I hope to spread the gospel of self-acceptance and contentment that I believe we all long for.

For this issue, I want to thank my beautiful, smart, and passionate co-editor-in-chief, Bella Tabak. You helped make this vision a reality, and I am so grateful to work with you. I want to thank our creative directors, Ava Bandura and Rachel Musman, for offering perspectives I never even thought of that just fit perfectly, for transforming the concept of the magazine from our imagination into a stunning creation. I’d like to acknowledge our photographers, Hazel Wagner and Diana Valdivia, and videographer, Kennedy Mason, for capturing the essence of our storytelling.

Jamie Bloom and Julia Karasu, our lead stylists; Starlyn Terry and Scarlett Luden, our PR directors; and Mia Rosenzweig and Ali Rosenberg, our external directors—I couldn’t ask for a better team to collaborate with and bring the hard work to life. Design directors; Revati Mahurkar and Sofia Floresca– your dedication is impeccable.

The design and thought that is put into the website, magazine, and organization as a whole is something to remember.

There was a time in my life when I realized I needed to stop caring about not only what others think, but also about what I think. I knew I had a big chunk of my life figured out after that epiphany. It left me feeling elated and thrilled, like I could go on and on, embracing the freedom to be myself—and that’s what this edition is all about. Taking that pit out of your stomach. Unfiltered encourages us to be true to ourselves and to recognize the insignificance of worrying about others’ opinions on our actions and how we look.

We aimed to explore the ”three-act play” of going out – the “getting-ready” phase, the party, and the after-party – capturing the moments to bond with friends, embrace your true self, and savor the experience both during the party and in everything surrounding it. By recognizing

I love living in the moment, often finding myself reminiscing about the time I was laughing hysterically at a bar in Florence while doing a silly dance move that only my friend and I thought was funny. I’ve learned to let go of the pressure to conform and embrace my quirks and idiosyncrasies, even if some people don’t quite get it!

Finally, our copy editors and managing copy editor; Abby Luca, Madison Sherman, and Hannah Karlin. Without you, we wouldn’t have been able to produce the high-quality content that we continually strive for.

And to the rest of the executive board and the entire general staff of University Girl, thank you for allowing me to dream and helping me bring those dreams to life. I see nothing short of greatness ahead, and I’m extremely grateful for the journey we’ve shared together.

With love,

BELLA TABAK

JULIA PAPERNY

REVATI MAHURKAR

SOFIA FLORESCA

AVA BANDURA

RACHEL MUSMAN

HAZEL WAGNER

DIANA VALDIVIA

KENNEDY MASON

HANNAH KARLIN

ABIGAIL LUCA

MADISON SHERMAN

design: Revati Mahurkar

FALL 2024 EXECUTIVE STAFF

Editor-in-Chief

Design Director

Photography Director

Managing Copy Editor

Editor-in-Chief

Creative Director

Photography Director

Copy Editor

Design & Managing Director

Creative Director

Videography Director

Copy Editor

MIA ROSENZWEIG

ALI ROSENBERG

STARLYN TERRY

SCARLETT LUDEN

JAMIE BLOOM

JULIA KARASU

KELSEY ABERBACH

LINDSEY LU

LEILA YANG

BROOKE FRIED

ELENA FLISZARY

TAL BEN ARI

HANNAH ABBOTT

STELLA RINGBLOM

EMMA NEENAN

MORGAN MAGATS

External Director

Lead Stylist

Digital Director

Social Media Director

External Director

Lead Stylist

Digital Director

Instagram Director

PR Director

Hair & Makeup Director

Managing Digital Editor

TikTok Director

PR Director

Treasurer

Social Media Director

TikTok Director

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design: Revati Mahurkar 9

STYL

YLE

design: Sofia Floresca

14 The Overconsumption Problem 15 The Importance of Finding Personal Syle 16 Getting Ready is Better than Going Out 18 Meet the Editors 19 What to Wear on a Night Out

design: Sofia Floresca

The Overconsumption Problem The Overconsumption Problem The Overconsumption Problem The Overconsumption Problem TikTok is bad for fashion. words: Kacie Moschella | design: Maisy Wood Since I first downloaded TikTok in 2021, I’ve realized something.

Social media has a problem. It’s fair to recognize that Gen Z is obsessed with overconsumption. One of the most popular trends on TikTok is haul content; influencers buy a bulk order and share their purchases. Although I love the general idea of posting a harmless outfit check, let’s be honest: TikTok hauls promote overconsumption!

The sad reality is that to become a TikTok fashion influencer, your walk-in closet must be cluttered with endless options (I’m exaggerating, but you get my point). A trend cycle used to last about 20 years, yet with the advent of the Internet and social media, outfit repetition is stigmatized. This stigma leads to two serious problems: fast fashion becomes the cheapest way to buy new clothes and trends are becoming increasingly shorter.

Fast Fashion Many claim to avoid sustainable fashion brands because of a lack of inclusive sizing and price gouging. However, a more significant issue lies in fast fashion: the social devaluation of labor. The word “overpriced” implies that a garment isn’t reasonably priced, but it usually is. It takes weeks, even months, to bring an ethically-made product from its manufacturing facility to your doorstep. You’re not only paying for the specific materials of the garment you ordered but also for the wages of dozens.

The lightning speed at which fast fashion companies operate to get the $5 version of a Mugler bodysuit into our hands requires significant labor exploitation. And in 2023, Shein, the world’s most popular fast fashion brand, made about $45 billion in sales. Shein’s profits and pay rates simply don’t line up. Why is convenience a bad thing? Other than stealing designers’ hard work, the turnover rate for fast fashion leads to overconsumption and subsequent negative environmental impacts.

Microtrends Before the rise of influencer culture, we looked to Hollywood celebrities and fashion magazines to determine trends. This source list was relatively inaccessible, limiting our exposure to potential new trends. However, with the rise of social media, we have more access to celebrities. Fashion brands know this, so they hustle to get big celebrities, like Kylie Jenner, to wear their products. Many people race to buy what Jenner is wearing, and if we can’t afford a Coperni dress, we buy dupes.

A trend cycle used to have five stages: introduction, rise, culmination, decline and obsolescence. However, with an influencer marketing strategy, the introduction, rise and culmination steps are squished into one, severely shortening the length of a trend cycle. The people buying fast fashion, because it’s all they can afford, are not the only ones contributing to the Shein cult. But for the influencers who post $900 Shein hauls, throw out their clothes every month and criticize people for wearing outdated trends: how do we justify their constant Shein purchases?

Yes, you can still love a trend even after it’s dead, but fair warning, fashion influencers may shame you. For example, House of Sunny’s Hockney dress was controversial on TikTok in 2021 because it quickly became trendy, then old news. The dress was a cult classic in 2020 when Kendall Jenner wore it in an iconic beach photo, but now, it’s popular to roast the dress because it’s not considered “cool” anymore.

It’s a genuine problem when people buy trendy pieces or dupes without thinking about whether they’ll want to wear them years, or even months, down the line.

The Alternative to Fast Fashion On a more positive note, there are communities on fashion TikTok. Many showcase tutorials on upcycling, a practice that alters old clothes and makes them trendier. TikTok is great for discovering aesthetic communities like cottage-core and dark academia.

Aesthetics not only unite people with similar interests, but they’re also a great way to sidestep overconsumption and micro trends. If you subscribe to one look, you’re less inclined to chase whatever new trend the Kardashians are wearing. Aesthetics also go beyond fashion. Cottage-core extends to cooking, sewing and gardening; dark academia extends to reading books, learning new languages and brewing tea. These are hobbies that don’t necessarily feed material desires.

Fast fashion is a sore subject on social media, because no one wants to remind themselves of climate change, yet it’s vital to discuss. We must stay boldly passionate about our environment and the impacts of fast fashion. So, my advice? Pull some pieces from the back of your closet and find ways to repurpose them.

Fashion provides a creative medium, so I encourage thrifting or buying second-hand. The more pre-existing clothes we use, the better for the environment.

m m m m

the importance of

FINDING YOUR personal style

Some tips and tricks for your style journey words: Zoe Green | design: Gwnyeth Seelinger & Revati Mahurkar Some mornings, getting up and dressed for the day is not in the cards. With PJs and a swipe of mascara, you feel ready for the day.

Sometimes it’s your best jeans, a cardigan and a full face of makeup with curled hair. It is all about what you feel is right for you. Your style is the way you introduce yourself to the universe. In the midst of ever-changing trends, your style should keep you grounded.

It should be authentically you and as unique as you are.

First, reflect upon yourself. What do you want to say to the world? Your style is your voice and your outlet. What do you want the world to know about you?

One thing you can do is keep a personal style journal. Whether that’s a page in your notes app, or a cute little pocket notebook, note what inspires you throughout the day. Maybe you saw a color that you think you could rock, or a pair of shorts that you just need to have.

Documenting your thoughts and feelings can be a huge tool when developing a personal style. Pay attention to what catches your eye and what makes you happy.

Next, assess! You’re going to need three bins.

Keep: these are the clothes you love and can’t live without, or what you wear on the daily.

Next, giveaway: you won’t miss these pieces; give them to a friend or pass them down to

a younger sibling. They may no longer be a part of your journey, but you know they will benefit someone you care about. The final bin is donate: these are clothes you can say goodbye to and gift to someone in need, providing a great way for you to give back, while creating an opportunity to replace some donated items in your closet. This brings us to the next step in our personal style journey – let’s go shopping!

Hit up your favorite mall, thrift store, boutique or wherever you can find what you’re looking for. Maybe all of the above!

Bring some friends along or go alone, but just don’t forget you are here on a mission. Try to find a few key pieces, along with some you can invest in just a little. Reference your style journal to remember what you have been looking into. The goal is not to buy the whole store, but rather to buy items that you will wear and love over and over again.

Now, it’s time to be confident in your style.

After all the blood, sweat, tears and glitter that you have put into this style, it’s time to show the world. No pressure, right? You have all the tools now, so why wait? It’s time to be authentically you; the best you you can be.

It’s important to note that personal style can be a lifelong pursuit, so take these steps as a reference point, and enjoy the journey ahead!

15

UGIRL SONG PICKS

Getting Ready is Better than Going Out

Sometimes, getting ready is better than going out. It’s all about being surrounded by your best friends, applying makeup in crowded mirrors, swapping outfits and perfecting the lastminute touches. And, with the ultimate going-out playlist, getting ready becomes all the more fun. We asked our UGirl readers and staff what their favorite GRWM songs are. So, here are the top ten songs that you can add to your playlist. words: Chloe Rudnick | design: Miranda Fournier

#

TITLE

1

Murder on the Dancefloor

2

365

3

Juno

4

Escapism

5

That’s So True

Sophie Ellis

Charli XCX

Sabrina Carpenter

Raye

Gracie Abrams

3:50

6

Feel So Close

3:23

7

Only Girl in the World

3:43

8

Still Into You

4:32

9

Sex on Fire

2:46

10

Best I Ever Had

Calvin Harris

Rihanna

Paramore

Kings of Leon

Drake

3:26

3:55

3:36

3:23

4:17

17

The Unfiltered Version of Bella and Julia. words: Rhylee Hudson | design: Finley Banks You love them, but do you know them? Probably not. This fall, the two editors-in-chief of Syracuse University's premier fashion and pop-culture magazine, University Girl, are Julia Paperny and Bella Tabak. They both love media, fashion and everything that makes us UGirls. With different backgrounds and ultimate life goals, I sat down with both of them, and they gave me their insight on college life, UGirl, post-grad and more.

Okay, how did you guys become editors-in-chief of UGirl? Give us a full storytime.

Bella: Long, long ago, Julia and I were both external directors together, like a year ago. And we had so much fun in that position, but then Julia left to go abroad. Because of this, I became EIC! My co from last year, Ellie, graduated, and I knew exactly who I wanted to work with: Julia! A match made in heaven, honestly.

Julia: Yes. Obviously the same. I was like, “Hell, yeah.” Bella and I are so compatible. We worked so well together; she understands things that I don’t and vice versa. She’s such a smart girl.

B: Aw, thank you. You’re very smart too.

Favorite UGirl issue ever put out?

B: I’m going to be biased towards myself and say the “Nostalgia” edition from Spring. Like, I was just making a TikTok about this, and I was talking about how that edition is like my baby. I’ve worked on many editions of UGirl. I wrote for print in the spring semester of my freshman year, which was “Guilty Pleasures.”

UGirl has come so far. It is so cool to see just the way that we have evolved professionally and content-wise, and “Nostalgia” Edition is the epitome of that. I am so passionate about sustainable fashion, so the theme of “Nostalgia” was amazing to be a part of.

J: For me, I automatically think of “Exploration” and “Guilty Pleasures.” For “Exploration,” it was really about finding yourself and your own identity and just exploring everything around you: school, friendships, growing up and more. I remember reading articles in that issue, and they were about managing and thriving in the time that you’re in. But for “Guilty Pleasures,” I am not ashamed of anything I say or do. Like, everyone has the freedom to be who they want to be. Both of these issues show what it means to be true to yourself, and that is so important to me.

Favorite thing in your closet?

B: I’m going to say my thrifted Hannah Montana baby tee that I got at the Yard right next to campus.

J: I don’t want to say that I am basic, but I have a simple style.

I just learned that having basics is necessary, because I used to only buy fun clothing that wouldn’t match anything. If I could choose, definitely my staple black and white tops from Artizia.

Easy to style, good quality and comfy.

Since you guys are both upperclassmen, what’s something that you’re glad you did in college?

B: Getting involved on campus is so important. I am so glad that I did that. I started interning at UGirl the summer before my freshman year, and I tried out for the cheer team before I got on campus, and it made campus feel so much smaller. It was really good for me because I was moving from a different state, and I was like, I know no one here, but then I did!

J: For me, I agree with Bella. Starting early is so important, because over the years it can become easy to get lazy. And then, it gets difficult to work your way up. Doing UGirl as a freshman has given us the opportunity to work our way up to editors-in-chief and be able to influence other people.

Anything that you wish you never did? Regrets?

B: I’ll say something pretty similar. I truly feel that when I arrived on campus, I would make friends for simple tasks like to go out with. And that is something that you shouldn’t do. You should be finding people who align with your values and career goals.

You’re not going to hang out with a girl in your class just because you go out and party with her. Not realistic. Those aren’t longlasting friendships; college isn’t forever.

J: I wouldn’t recommend (but be open to everything) stressing yourself out in order to be friends with everyone. When I was a freshman, I was so worried about being friends with every single person, because you don’t know where you are going to land, but at the end of the day, you will find your people. I wish I could’ve spent more time with the people I have now — rather than trying to spread myself between friends.

ON A WHAT TO WEAR NIGHT OUT Step out in style because the night is young. words: Leila Yang | design: Gwnyeth Seelinger & Revati Mahurkar Let’s be real, picking out what to wear on a night out is all part of the fun. Whether it’s going out for a casual dinner with your friends or hitting the town for an amazing night out, we all want the perfect outfit. There is nothing better than listening to your favorite playlist on full blast and putting on some lip gloss while the night is still young. Feeling confident is so important, you want to be ready to own the night. So, here are a couple of ideas that might help you with your next night out.

out in the best way. Of course, you can throw on that oversized black blazer over anything, (as you can tell, that is my favorite clothing item) will make the look. If you want a more subtle incorporation of sequins, try accessorizing with it! A sequin purse screams stylish with not only an all-black fit but any outfit where you just need an extra accessory that will be showstopping.

Going Out with the Girls

Let’s start with a casual dinner with your friends. Not every night out calls for full glam and sometimes, simple is just better. For a casual dinner, it is so easy to create an effortless yet still stylish look. To start, think low-waisted jeans. Whatever your preferred denim is, grab those and a solid-colored tank top or a sweater.

Then, add a belt, grab a statement or a simple one! Don’t forget to accessorize to the max. Throw on a bunch of layered necklaces and statement rings, and you’re golden. Finally, throw on some ankle boots if you want to elevate your look, or keep it chill and grab your favorite sneakers. Silver or colored sneakers are in if you’re looking for a trendy addition to your outfit. You can even incorporate the sandwich method and match your top and shoes!

This shows how simplicity can still be a statement which is the perfect look when going out for a casual dinner.

Now how do you own the night for going out with the girls? Let’s be honest when it’s a night out with the girls, it’s the perfect excuse to go all out and have fun with your look. This is your chance to wear something bold and flirty that makes you feel like the main character. If you’re comfortable, try a body-con dress.

You can never go wrong with black or if you’re feeling fun, try out a color or pattern! Pair it with strappy heels or platform boots for that added edge. My go-to is a statement skirt with a plain white tank. Once again, bring on the sparkles! A colored sequin skirt is my personal favorite, and since it’s a statement piece, it’s best if you pair it with a plain black or white tank top. If dresses aren’t your style, don’t worry! Grab some nice pants or if you’re having a more chill, going-out type of vibe, jeans are good too. As always, don’t forget to think about comfort. You want to be able to dance the night away, so make sure your shoes can keep up with you and that you’re feeling good about what you’re wearing.

Playing Dress Up

Date Night

Now that we got casual out of the way, let’s talk fancy. One of my favorite things to do is dressing up and going out to a nice dinner with my friends or family. Nothing says chic better than a satin slip dress paired with a pair of boots. It’s elegant and classy especially when you toss on a cool jacket for that “I just threw this on” vibe. Bonus points if you go for a cropped leather jacket or oversized blazer to balance out the look. You also can’t go wrong with slicking your hair back in a ponytail, or leaving it down and blowing it out. Something else that is so in right now, and my personal favorite, are sparkles and sequins - it’s the perfect statement. A sequin top with some black jeans or trousers is so perfect. Even a full-on sparkly mini dress will have you standing

Whether it’s a casual date or a romantic dinner, your outfit should show off your personality while keeping it effortless. A nice dress is never a bad choice if it’s at a nice restaurant. However, say you’re grabbing tacos at a food truck or going bowling, that’s when you can also use the ideas from the casual dinner with friends! A sweater with jeans and a belt is more than a statement for a chill date night.

A Laid-Back Look for a Casual Dinner Out

No matter where the night takes you, just know your outfit should make you feel like the best version of yourself. Be confident and own that look. So throw on that outfit, turn up your favorite hype song, and hit the town!

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COLL LIFE

LEGE design: Sofia Floresca

design: Sofia Floresca

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Interview with Jae Stephens LinkedIn is Hot UGirl Quiz Surviving the College Party World The Unspoken Truth About Dating as a WOC The Untold Reality of Black Girlhood The Battle Between Wellness and Wild Nights

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interview with jae stephens Inside the life of an R&B pop star. words: Julia Paperny | design: Revati Mahurkar

Jae Stephens is a Pop R&B artist from Dallas, who has taken music to the next level. She aims to spread confidence and share her vibrant spirit with the rest of the world. Jae is not just an artist; she’s a force of creativity in the music and entertainment scene.

With every release, Jae takes ownership of her artistic vision— crafting her own lyrics, having a say in her music videos and shaping her brand. Jae has received recognition from Billboard in the R&B/Hip-Hop Fresh Picks of the Week, Complex, THR and Essence Girls United. She was kind enough to share her experience, advice and love of music. As readers, we can learn a thing or two from an empowering diva like Jae Stephens.

Can you start by giving a little background of your experience getting into music?

I grew up with music always playing around the house - so many of my musical influences are the R&B and pop divas that my parents put in front of me as a kid. According to my mother (who’s a Leo, so I’m not sure how dramatized this fact is) I’ve been singing since before I could talk. My love for singing naturally developed into me writing my own songs around the time I was 13, which in turn led to me playing guitar and producing on Garageband around 15. I was chronically online before that was even a saying, so I naturally fell into communities on the likes of Tumblr & Soundcloud, where I’d post covers and my original songs. I managed to garner a bit of a small fanbase, and the rest was history!

How do you manage time while being active with your music?

Horribly! The only thing that keeps me in line is a literal to-do list in front of my face that I’m able to tick things off of every day. As a songwriter, I can easily switch my brain off once the song is written, and I leave the studio for a day. I’d check back in whenever inspiration struck, and I wanted to write a song in my studio at home. As an artist, I feel like I’m always on the clock - If I’m not writing or recording, I’m in an interview or a meeting, or I’m planning a video or a show, or I’m editing content, or I’m stressing about something I’m probably forgetting to do! I find I feel most accomplished when I’m able to equally split my week between the creative (like writing and recording) and the logistics (like meetings and marketing).

Did music change your relationship with yourself? Do you continue to stay true to yourself? Your brand?

I feel like my music, my most recent project “SELLOUT” in particular, really fell into place once I took time out to really

learn who I was.

Looking back, I think I spent so much time working to facilitate other people’s ideas and tell their stories that it only made mine clearer. I was able to find my niche, realize my musical preferences and really hone in on what works for me through years of trial and error, collaboration and experimentation. Now that I’m in the driver’s seat, I feel so much more confident in myself to really execute my ideas to their fullest and have fun doing so, which I think really shines through in the music. It feels so much easier because it’s coming from a genuine place, and I think that’s why it’s really connecting with like-minded listeners as well.

You came out with an EP called “SELLOUT." How do these songs relate to being unapologetically real?

As a bit of an unserious person, I didn’t want to overthink any of the songs on this project. They’re laced with humor, innuendos, puns - they’re a bit cheeky and sometimes campy, sometimes sexy. I wanted my voice to be clear and confident throughout, even if I was being a bit of an unreliable narrator on some songs.

I’m really proud of how I crafted these songs, because they were truly made from a place of fun and femininity! Nothing forced or tryhard, just me pushing the limits of my writing and production.

What’s your favorite music to listen to before going out? And while going out?

My going out playlist is a funny balance between a lot of female rap and the pop divas of the early 2000s. Lots of Megan Thee Stallion, Beyoncé, Rihanna, Fergie, Pussycat Dolls, Latto, Flo Milli - I could go on. Basically, it’s just no boys allowed!

What advice would you give to college students trying to find self-confidence within themselves?

The energy you walk into a room with is what everyone else is going to believe. Confidence for me was acquired by faking it once I began carrying myself like I was the sh*t (even on days when I definitely felt like I was not), everybody else started believing I was too. Lead by example and treat yourself with the kindness and awe you project onto others. Whether you believe it or not, you are always someone’s dream/goals/moodboard.

What advice would you give to aspiring artists?

Find your lane and stick to it and believe in it fully. Back yourself every day without caring what anyone else thinks about you or your art - it’s only crazy until it works!

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U When you hit 500+ connections, you celebrate. words: Sofia Westerman | design: Catie Carlisle LinkedIn is a powerful networking platform where you can individually reach people in every field. Using LinkedIn, users can gain internships, jobs and important connections in the workforce. Caring about your future can be hot. Being up-todate with your LinkedIn profile and showing everyone what you are doing to prepare for life outside of college creates an impact.

I was less than ecstatic about creating a LinkedIn account.

When I created my account at the end of my freshman year, I already felt behind my peers. Uncertain about my plans for the future, I was anxious to even think about creating a “professional” account. So, what was the point? This only fueled my procrastination. Finally, I gave in and made my account, mostly because my friends were bothering me about wanting to connect. Surprisingly, I enjoyed it. I loved connecting with my college friends and seeing what people from high school were up to. It felt like Instagram but more professional. I love adding each new addition to my resume to the app, humbly bragging about my achievements to my peers. But, at the same time, I get to cheer on my friends, with a front-row seat to view their accomplishments. While I have grown to love LinkedIn, unfortunately, I have not hit 500+ connections yet.

Some of my friends have been on the LinkedIn grind all summer and were so close to hitting that milestone. They had worked so hard to get to that point, so we all knew we needed to do something special for the occasion.

So what did we do? Threw the most iconic pregame ever.

The theme, ‘Blazers and Bras,’ set the tone. Attire included blazers, bras, ties, mini skirts, boots and even glasses. We had painted posters, picked up balloons and ordered a ‘500 connections’ ice cream cake, though the Wegmans bakery hesitated to hand it over, refusing to draw the copyrighted

LinkedIn logo. One of my friends even sent out a playful invitation text filled with emojis, so we were more than prepared. We had kicked out the honorees before decorating the dorm room, and finally, the time had come. Dramatic entrances complete with walk-on music were made, and we captured our friends’ reactions on video as they stepped into the room. We took silly digital camera pics, posing with the posters, balloons and of course the cake. Speaking of the cake, before we could officially commence the celebration, the honorees had to actually match with their 500th person. We made them wait all week with 499 connections, so we could all be there to witness the moment. So they pulled out their phones, opened the LinkedIn app, and clicked “connect.” We cheered, cut the cake and congratulated our friends.

This was my favorite pregame of the year.

Decked out in our “business flirty” attire, we made LinkedIn hot.

We celebrated my friends’ successes in networking and had a blast. Although it may have sounded trivial to others, that’s ok! It was funny that we threw a LinkedIn party. And you know what, it was so much fun. Being motivated and proactive about your future can also be sexy and exciting, and you might even get some cake out of it. I recommend this to anyone who needs a little push, whether it’s finishing that essay on time, doing extra credit, or completing your community service requirement. Make any ordinary day special by celebrating the smallest of wins. In addition to feeling accomplished, throw a themed pregame before you go out that weekend to get a head start on the fun.

All that being said, connect with me on LinkedIn so I can celebrate 500+ too.

UGIRL QUIZ WHAT KIND OF NIGHT OUT DO YOU WANT? Hey, girl! Having trouble deciding whether to stay in or to have a night out? Let this quiz be your guide—answer these questions to find out what kind of night is calling your name. words: Emily Refici | design: Tess Cosgrave & Revati Mahurkar

How are you feeling today?

1 A) Great! I can’t wait for whatever tonight brings!

B) I am okay. I am not jumping at the chance to go out but could be persuaded.

C) Honestly, all I want to do is get comfy and relax.

What’s your social mood right now?

2 A) New characters unlocked; I can already envision the debrief.

B) I could get in the mood for a hangout—but just with my girls.

C) I love my friends, but I need time to myself tonight.

How’s your energy level after the week?

3 A) No way I’m missing the fun tonight—Let’s go!

B) Maybe I could go out for a little bit, but not too long or late.

C) I’m so drained—I may have to sit this one out.

What material do you resonate with right now?

4 A) Sequins.

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What are you sipping on?

7 A) Cocktails.

B) Iced Coffee.

C) Diet Coke.

You smell so good! What scent is that?

8 A) Fruity.

B) Fresh.

C) Gourmand.

You get passed the aux; what do you play?

9 A) 365 - Charli XCX.

B) The Diner - Billie Eilish.

C) West Coast - Lana Del Rey.

You get a last-minute invite to an event. How do you feel?

10 A) I love spontaneity; you never know what the night will bring!

B) Satin.

C) Linen.

B) Details, please? How can I decide if I don’t know what it is...

C) Lol no. I need two to three business days to mentally prepare for an outing.

What would you love to wear tonight?

How do you want to feel at the end of the night?

A) An outfit straight off my Pinterest board. The digital cameras hate to see me coming!

B) Jeans and a cute top?

C) Let’s be real... my oversized sweat set or PJs.

11 A) Like I had the BEST time! I want to make memories and have stories to tell at the debrief.

B) Calm— I want a laid-back good time.

C) Recharged! I need to reset so I can go out next week.

And, for your shoe?

6 A) Boots.

B) Sambas.

C) UGGs.

Mostly A’s: You’re totally in the mood for a night OUT!

Mostly B’s: Go for a low-key, in-between night!

Mostly C’s: Stay in, get cozy, and recharge!

Girl, you want a night out, and you know it. Whether it’s hitting up a frat, bar, or wherever Euclid and Comstock takes you, you need to get out and have a time! Call up your besties and start planning—tonight’s gonna be amazing!

You’re feeling somewhere in the middle—not totally psyched but definitely down to do something.

A nice dinner, a chill movie night, or a hangout with your fave people sounds like the perfect night for you. You’ll leave the house but keep things relaxed.

All the signs are pointing to a night IN, and babe, that’s totally okay! You deserve some me-time. Grab your softest blanket, light some candles, and binge your favorite series or movie you’ve been meaning to watch. Tonight is all about self-care and resetting.

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Exploring the emotions and desires behind wild college nights. words: Julia Paperny & Hannah Karlin | design: Miranda Fournier

There’s a distinct difference between a girl in college who prefers the rambunctious fraternity lifestyle filled with booze, sweat and tears, and one who longs for a dirty martini at a classy bar, glancing at the crowd and dreaming of meaningful late-night conversations.

We, Julia and Hannah, have recently felt a growing inclination toward the second category. It’s an angst that becomes a stress to escape. We find ourselves asking questions like, “Why am I here?” and “Where are the non-beer beverages?”

Julia: In the midst of a packed schedule, one night I felt the urge for a break. My friends were all hyping up a night out, so I thought, “Why not?”

I put on my makeup, turned on my pregame playlist, drink in hand, and felt ready to thrive. In my kitchen with my four other roommates, I danced to “Gimme, Gimme, Gimme” from the Mamma Mia soundtrack, and excitement bubbled up despite my long day.

Entering the frat, I thought, “I really need to go home.” Still, I did my best to keep the vibe alive for everyone else—dancing, sipping my watered-down vodka Coke, and pretending the current song wasn’t as bad as it seemed.

I casually slipped out, acting like I had somewhere important to be. Friends stopped me to ask where I was going, I ran into acquaintances I hadn’t seen since freshman year and a song I actually liked played—each moment pulling me back in. Guilt washed over me as I remembered promising my friends we’d have the perfect night, even though I’d only been there for ten minutes.

Finally, I got home, made some Annie’s mac and cheese and cozied up in bed with my favorite show (HIMYM, duh). Why stress about what everyone else wants when I could find joy in doing what truly makes me happy? As I spent this past summer living in NYC and working as an intern, I enjoyed every night feeling relaxed and not forced to be the boisterous and wild girl that I told people I would be. Instead, I sat at the bar with my friends, conversed, laughed and could actually hear them.

Hannah: I usually go out with a purpose, whether it’s to catch up with friends I haven’t seen during the week or to soak in the electric energy of college life I’ve always imagined. Other times, I’m swept along by the infectious enthusiasm of my best friends. “You’re

only in college once,” and “What if this turns out to be the best night?” are common phrases that circulate my apartment.

In the fall of my junior year, I gave into such loving persistence.

Despite wanting to cozy up in bed and drift off to Carrie Bradshaw’s anecdotes, I went to the frat mixer. I joined the pregame antics happening in my kitchen. I smiled, realizing how special this is— to be 20 years old, dancing around the apartment with your best friends and having your whole life ahead of you.

About 25 minutes into the frat event, the music blared at an unbearable volume, and there was rampant shoving in the crowd. I experienced a mix of disappointment in my decision to go out and frustration with my inability to match the energy of my friends. Knowing that the sensations would only intensify, I reassured my friends that I was alright and slipped out the door.

Upon arrival home, Carrie Bradshaw was still awaiting my viewership. That night, I listened to my body and mind with pride.

As I spent this past summer interning in Los Angeles, finally of age at 21, much like Julia, I fell in love with nights out that involved a comfortable seat at the bar, conversing with friends and meeting new people.

With that being said, the nights where I have caved into persuasion have also turned into some of my core memories.

Julia and Hannah: When we spontaneously decide to go out together, we toast our drinks to being young, exchange dance moves and walk out laughing about the night’s events. We’ll end up back at one of our apartments, talking about the most random things. Though we’ve gone out together in vibrant cities around the world, exploring the bars of Florence, Italy, and meeting fascinating people in Tel Aviv, Israel, we still cherish these simple moments together.

This is only temporary—just four fleeting years out of your entire life. No, you’re not stuck in that frat basement forever. Soon enough, you’ll be in a city of your choice, sitting at a dimly lit bar and dressed in your best outfit. In the meantime, try to enjoy the company of your friends in the same environment and give it at least one night a weekend. Sometimes, pushing yourself can surprise you in the best way possible.

So, for now, let’s let loose and enjoy the simplicity of our lives.

Soon enough, the real world will come, and while those bars and extravagant cities are enticing, they also come with the responsibility of being a true adult the next morning.

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the unspoken truth about dating as a woc Why I have never believed I am conventionally attractive. words: Mia Rosenzweig | design: Ana Rodriguez & Revati Mahurkar Being a teenager and going through puberty is one of the most stressful times. It's the age when people start to care about their appearance, develop crushes and begin to discover who they are.

Growing up in a small town as an Asian girl, I was never a guy's first choice. While all my friends would gossip about the different guys that were interested in them, I sat in silence. During middle and high school, I was often ghosted once guys saw what I looked like, and my crushes never followed me back. Yeah, OUCH! So, I want to share my experiences and educate others. This is how I was gaslit into thinking I was ugly because my beauty was unappreciated.

On the off chance that a guy liked me, I always had to wonder: Am I being fetishized, or is there a chance that someone genuinely finds me pretty? I never saw any representation of Asian women being portrayed as attractive, confident or the main character in Western media. I wondered if I would be the designated unattractive, nerdy and shy friend for the rest of my life? Is dating not built for girls who look like me?

I often felt like my experiences were invalidated because they differed from the majority of other WOC. I came across a TikTok of an Asian teenager in Texas discussing how she feels undesired, and as a result, perceives herself as unattractive. Memories of my early dating experiences immediately flooded back. I felt like I was a self-loathing 13-year-old again who was desperate for any validation. It’s easy to feel like you’re unattractive when the world's beauty standard is Euro-centric. To be seen as attractive as a woman of color, I feel like I have to be exceptionally beautiful.

You have to be a 10/10 WOC to be seen as equivalent to an average attractive white woman. In my mind, I still grapple with whether or not I find myself attractive. I was made to feel like I was not beautiful, worthy or attractive enough to find a partner.

You’re probably thinking, “Diversify your dating pool.”

Unfortunately, I am constantly in environments where it’s majority white men, and with attending a PWI, those are mainly the people you encounter. Social settings at college are primarily

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Greek life which is again, you guessed it, predominantly white.

It’s difficult to find spaces where WOC are embraced.

Another thing to consider is that other races of men are not guaranteed to find WOC attractive. The majority of men prefer to have a white partner. Is my opportunity to meet people smaller?

Honestly speaking, yes, because a smaller group of men find me attractive. I have come to accept and embrace this. Why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t find me attractive?

I cannot stress the importance of being in spaces with people who have similar experiences to you. Join organizations and clubs where you feel a sense of community. Put yourself in environments where your beauty is recognized and embraced.

Travel! There are eight billion people in this world, and there are so many people waiting to meet you. It's easy to feel like your entire world is this small bubble, but the world is so big. One of my favorite quotes that encapsulates my teenage years is “Was I crazy or was I just fifteen?” With age, I have been able to find validation and value in myself, rather than in my peers. Although I may not be “conventionally attractive” I know that I am beautiful and that’s all that truly matters.

If I could summarize how I feel about dating people as a woman of color is that… this shit sucks. But at the end of the day, I remind myself that dating sucks. Sure, is it harder as a person of color?

Definitely, but there are bad partners everywhere. Do not give men the power to determine your value. Less male attention does not mean you are any less beautiful. It’s easy to think, if I had different features would I finally get the attention I longed for?

But wouldn’t it be a boring world if we all had the same features?

Your unique features are a product of generations of people who have loved each other for thousands of years. It’s also important to note that there is so much more to you than your appearance.

You are a human being with a kind heart and love to give. Do not waste your precious love on those who are unworthy. Remember, people love you for being you, not because of how you look.

the

untold realityof black girlhood

In a world that imposes unbalanced and unattainable expectations on Black and African American girls and women, rejection, hostility and the relentless challenge of simply existing collide with the fight for identity and equality. words: Orezimena Ubogu | design: Ana Rodriguez

Because silence is often mistaken for obedience, I am sharing the truth—not just for myself but for many other Black and African American girls and women. In avoiding articulating this directly, I would fall short of who I was, who I am and who I hope to become. Enacting the opposite would commit an unimaginable offense to my community, the girl I was, the woman I am, those who raised and love me and those who are, and continue to be, silenced. Some mistake my desire to use my voice when deliberately silenced, and my ambition to succeed, as “bitchiness.” I am no bitch. I am an African American woman—depending on who you ask, there is no distinction between the two.

Society has always held Black women to a different standard. Growing up in predominantly white environments, I often lacked the benefit of the doubt given to others.

I was expected to be beyond exceptional while others were not. Before I learned to walk, I had to meet unattainable expectations of beauty, success and intelligence. Even now, I obsess over small things—losing four points on an assignment, where I still received an A, being a second late to class when I am always early or overanalyzing every interaction to ensure I do not come across as too forceful, too submissive or not enough. These instances consume me because perfection is the only way to avoid perception as inferior.

The pressure to be perfect drives me—I constantly need to prove myself, because I do not want to contribute to a stereotype or diminish what Black women are capable of.

Choosing how I speak is a challenge, knowing that non-Black women receive justification for their words, actions and behaviors in ways I never will. Comparatively, I face scrutiny over my words and the way I choose to use them, because of the damaging beliefs and objectification suffocating the Black identity.

Nonetheless, these are shared experiences by many Black and African American women.

Black girlhood is a complex entity that shapes Black women today and answers by two

names: “Black girlhood” and “adultification.”

Both are necessary names for someone who has and continues to live it. The world told me my skin color was too dark to be beautiful and that the only way to be valued was to have Eurocentric features—blue eyes, fair skin and light hair. There were times when I believed it. I was shown my value did not equate to those I spent the most time around, and it impacted how I viewed myself. I believed I had to become someone else to have the opportunities others did. After facing challenges, I recognize that failing to value my identity insults myself and those who raised me. Yet, the rhetoric of female Blackness, especially the “angry Black woman,” “crazy Black woman” and “promiscuous Black woman” discourages me from showing too much of myself. Because of this, it has always been more difficult to be authentically myself.

I am naturally expressive, but I downplay my emotions to avoid replicating stereotypes.

I can never be too much of anything— ambitious, qualified or honest—without becoming the undesirable version of myself in the eyes of others.

I have always presented myself as older, a result of adultification. While some see it as an advantage, it stripped me of my youth. In middle school, I attended college summer camps, where I was assumed to be a college student and expected to answer questions far beyond my understanding. At the time, I loved being seen as older. But now, it’s clear I never looked my age in the eyes of the world, yet I was still not enough. There is a brutal reality associated with Black girlhood: You have to grow up sooner than everyone else, while being stripped of experiences because of the color of your skin.

Black girlhood is as real as it gets. We navigate life wondering if someone will disrespect, ignore or belittle us because of our skin, while knowing we must exist in a certain way to be taken seriously by those in power. We wonder if someone who looks like us will ever have the same opportunities as a White man—whose active support for hatred and oppression is

just one link in an unbroken chain of offenses that continue to impact our lives today. The world normalizes phrases like, "You sound White," "Why do you have to make everything about race?" and "You’re pretty for a Black girl," which only surfaces our pain.

These truths surrounding Black girlhood are not just recent occurrences. In the theme of unapologetic authenticity, I have listened to the stories and experiences of other female-identifying African American, Black undergraduate and graduate students, which, to no surprise, mirror my own.

Victoire Lokossou, a sophomore at Syracuse University, describes how Black girls are expected to mature too soon, often misinterpreted as aggressive when expressing frustration. Taylor Whitmore, a sophomore at Syracuse, shares how her leadership and achievements were overshadowed by false accusations and criticism. Charlee Bryant, a sophomore at Auburn University, reflects on the dual alienation she feels in both Black and White spaces. Brianna Gillfillian, a graduate student at Syracuse, discusses the weight of "Black Excellence" in her STEM field and how her ideas are often dismissed because of her race.

Though we are all different, our shared experiences speak to the many Black girls and women silenced and denied opportunities simply for making others “uncomfortable.”

We deserve to grow up free from stereotypes and hate-filled narratives, to express our emotions without fear of judgment and to pursue our dreams without the weight of societal expectations. We must challenge limiting narratives, amplify our voices and embrace our identities. Black girls and women are not just representations of struggle; we are embodiments of strength, resilience and limitless potential. Our experiences matter and must be acknowledged and uplifted.

Read the full article at universitygirlsu.com.

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the battle between

wellness and WILD NIGHTS Navigating a healthy lifestyle in the midst of a party scene. words: Stella Ringblom | design: Leah Sullivan There’s no denying that navigating the college scene can be a challenge, especially at a school known for its party and Greek life culture. The weekend layout remains unchanged and most feel obligated to fill the frats and stay out until the crack of dawn between Thursdays and Saturdays. Amid this repetitive cycle and the demands of being a full-time student, many feel there’s little to no time for wellness and self-care—arguably crucial components of college life to avoid burnout.

The first two years of college are the time to fully immerse yourself in the college experience: attend most parties, stay out late and forget about the urge to remain a “clean girl.” There seems to be less judgment during these years, as your free time is not being scrutinized by your peers or parents. As you approach junior and senior years, attending the frats isn’t the same experience.

The elevated surfaces are packed with unfamiliar faces, and the upperclassmen relocate to nearby bars.

When I left my sophomore year for summer break, I had never felt so exhausted. I remember thinking, “Wow, I’m never doing that again,” so I used the summer to detox. When I went into my junior year, I wanted to keep my healthy routines from the summer: go to bed early, attend workout classes, drink less alcohol and overall have more consistent routines.

I returned to school, and I felt confident rather than disoriented.

I realized I didn’t have a balance between academics, my social life and self-care. This time, it wasn’t because I prioritized my social life more than my school life; instead, it was the other way around. I now dedicate more time to myself, which has made me feel physically better.

After experiencing the beginning of my junior year, I couldn’t be more grateful for having been “a mess” during my sophomore year. I remember, for the most part, every single party. When I scroll through my photos, I’m filled with so much joy and feel thankful for agreeing to every event.

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College is four years of ups and downs, and it’s a unique time where the primary goal is to graduate, but it is also a time to let loose and have fun. I've realized that while I prefer a slower pace of life, I can still spend many nights out with friends, making unforgettable memories.

Finding stability is challenging and it takes time, but I feel that I have established a healthy routine. This consists of utilizing my Mondays through Thursdays to self-care, school and healthy habits. I work out during these days, attend all my classes, go to bed early and attempt to complete most of my schoolwork so that I can live in the moment on the weekends without feeling guilty or behind.

The most important thing I have learned throughout my past three years of college is that formulating routines is only attainable if you listen to yourself and your body. There will be days when all your friends go out, and you just don’t have it in you. I used to experience the worst FOMO, always feeling like if I didn’t attend a party that night, I would miss the event of the year.

However, the more I went out, the more I realized that every night was pretty much the same. With that in mind, during my junior year, I promised myself that if there were days that I didn’t have the energy to go out, I would stay in and not force myself to do something.

I have learned to cherish my alone time and discovered new passions that I didn’t make the time for as I was in a rush to keep up with everyone else. I’ve also taken the time to reflect on the fact that I’ll never get these years back. Sometimes, that means pushing myself to attend an event, even if it’s just for an hour, so I don’t look back on my college years wishing that I had made more of them.

Everyone has their ways of going about college, and with that in mind, the best way to find a balance between it all is to discover a college routine that caters to your life and not anyone else’s. Once you start to embrace your unique path, your college experience will reach its full potential.

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design: Sofia Floresca

design: Sofia Floresca

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Reflections from a Retired Clean Girl Interview with Daphne Bryant A Beginner’s Guide to Self Love and Respect Dear Diary, Oversharing is Not a Bad Thing Girl, Put Your Phone Down

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That Was Awkward Finding Self Confidence Cocktail Recipe Hookups From Hell

Because who decided being a little messy was a bad thing? words: Lily Silver | design: Finley Banks

Most people could name a specific trend that has influenced their personal identity or style. For many, this trend is the “clean girl” aesthetic. In the past few years, personal fashion, role models, routines, and even basic decision-making, were influenced by a desire to be a “clean girl.” Even now, as the popularity of aesthetics seems to decline, aspects of the trend still have an impact, contributing to insecurities. While the aesthetic’s rise is perhaps attributed to a social desire for a perfect life, its decline has demonstrated the downsides of perpetuating perfection, especially online.

From waking up early to have a productive morning routine, to the trendy workout classes, minimalist make-up brands, and even the notorious slick-back bun, the “clean girl” took hold of young women’s lifestyles, sense of self, and confidence. Why is the “clean-girl” aesthetic so influential? Because it comes with the promise of being perceived as having a perfect and productive life. It provides an outline for how to be socially accepted. If we all shop from certain brands, work out in a certain way, and do our make-up similarly, we create this illusion of control. However, following the clean-girl aesthetic can also do the opposite. The habits of waking up early, following an aesthetic morning routine, and generally maintaining other “clean girl” habits are idealistic and often impractical. By not being able to maintain this illusion, the “clean girl” aesthetic creates more guilt and insecurity, than control and pride.

This is not to say that all aspects of the aesthetic are negative.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying hot yoga classes, loving Glossier, or appreciating an early morning. However, despite these attributes, the “clean girl” ultimately emphasizes a culture of comparison among women online. Watching other women

be praised for achieving the “clean girl” life, signifies that this aesthetic is the expectation. The clean girl aesthetic is a prime example of women being indirectly told that to be socially respected, one must look or behave a certain way. Even the name “clean girl ” suggests that this is the way to achieve a “clean” image, while the alternative is what? Being dirty, filthy, unattractive? If we think about the fundamental aspects of the “clean girl”, it is centered around conforming to a specific aesthetic, not only demeaning the basic value of superficial ideals, but suppressing the individuality that makes beauty and style interesting and fun.

Slowly, the “clean girl” aesthetic has lost some of its appeal. Trends such as the “mob-wife” and “hot girl nightstand” have begun to emphasize a more messy and carefree attitude as opposed to polished perfection. These new trends embrace the beauty of imperfections in ways that the clean girl could never.

Focusing on individual expression reduces the voices that project guilt and inadequacy. An optimistic belief is that the slow extinction of the clean girl is due to a cultural realization that constantly trying to obtain perfection is destined to not only fail but heighten insecurities. Or, perhaps people were just tired of a minimalist style and wanted something more bold. Realistically, the “downfall” of the clean girl aesthetic was always predictable.

All trends have their moments of extreme popularity, followed by their trickle into obsolescence. Unfortunately, the cycle of trends that control our cultural perceptions of beauty, wellness, and lifestyle will not be disrupted by retiring the “clean girl” look. However, by acknowledging it, we can perhaps be more collectively aware of the ways our modern standards are not only influencing our culture but also our identities.

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The mind behind a publication focused on queer, Y2K girlhood. words: Bella Tabak | design: Revati Mahurkar Daphne Bryant, a senior creative writing major at Emerson College in Boston, has succeeded in various roles. She is originally from Atlanta, Georgia, but Bryant is in Los Angeles at the time of this interview. She is studying through Emerson’s L.A. program and completing an internship in the literary department of Atlas Entertainment. “They just did Oppenheimer, which got like Oscars, and they did all the DC superhero movies,” said Bryant. She is also the founder and Editorin-chief of Dreamworldgirl Magazine, an independent, multi-media publication that has reached massive success for being less than a year old. With over three thousand followers on Instagram and

four hundred applicants in the last hiring season, Bryant has created a magazine and an international community, overseeing photoshoots from Boston to Hong Kong.

Just to give the UGirl audience some context, if they haven’t seen your zine before, do you want to explain the basics of everything?

Yes, I would love to. So Dreamworldgirl Zine is a multimedia publication. So to me, I wrote this on the website, it kind of merges the literary and the visual arts.

So my background being in writing and publishing, I knew that I wanted writing to be a huge aspect of the zine. So there’s like prose and poetry and the zine and the print issue. We like to do nonfiction on the blog. So writing is a big part of it.

But we also really love anything to do with visual media. So we do the photo shoots, we do a lot of those, like probably three or four a month. And we do them both in Boston and L.A. So it’s headquartered in Boston and then we have an L.A. branch.

So we’re doing things in both

cities and sometimes even in other cities as well. And we just love art and fashion and culture and anything really that is like popular culture. The other thing about it has kind of like a Y2K aesthetic. So I’m personally really inspired by like the late 90s and early 2000s. My personal style is very inspired by that. But also when I create things, I just think it’s fun to create with that period in mind. So that’s kind of like as far as branding, what Dreamworldgirl tends to go for. And there’s one more thing I wanted to say. We do biannual issues. So we print in the summer and in the winter.

So we do the print issues along with all the other fun like engagement things and events that we put on.

So this is also something like cheesy that I put on the website. But it really is more than just a magazine, in my opinion. I feel like, yeah, like it’s community. It’s also kind of like a production company. Oh, it’s like we kind of just do whatever and with respect to girlhood. So girlhood is kind of like the core thing connected with everything. And we’re looking to address girlhood and all of its nuanced complexities through our photo shoots, through the pieces that are in the zine, through our events, and that community building and that feeling of girlhood. It’s intended to be for women and other marginalized gender identities, including non-binary individuals.

It’s important to create a space for girlhood and queer identities, and I feel like you have done that so well. Is that something going in that you anticipated?

Or did it just naturally happen that you created this safe space?

daphne bryant

Oh, wow. I really like this question. I think honestly, it just kind of happened.

It was very organic. I was just on the phone with my mom and I was like telling her what I’ve been up to. I was kind of, I guess, downplaying it because I like doing interviews. But I always feel like I shouldn’t brag about myself. I was telling my mom and she was like, Daphne, like you’re downplaying yourself a lot because people feel gravitated towards this for a reason. And like, you’re doing a good job at creating that space. And I was like, I don’t even realize I’m doing it really. It’s just kind of like, I just, when I’m looking for people that I want to work with as models or people that I want to work with, like on my staff, I just like genuinely look

for good-hearted people, like kind people who genuinely care about our mission statement and about the things that we care about.

And it just kind of like naturally forms. And it’s been crazy lately also because I just did like the boy band photo shoot. If you saw that, it was so much fun. Afterward, all of the models were like, this was the most fun I’ve had. We should all hang out and go to a party or something or just talk about crew stuff. And they just kept like oozing, like the energy was so good. The energy was so good. That’s a crazy thing for me, I can’t even fully wrap my head around the idea of making someone else’s day. And when you’re a marginalized identity, when you’re a marginalized group or a minority group, when you get to be around other people that are part of that group, it’s genuinely like one of the greatest feelings ever. It just makes you feel so safe and appreciated. So I think that’s kind of how it’s built.

I feel like for me, being Co-EIC, photo shoots are one of the most fun parts of being in this role, like setting everything up. What do you think about that? What do you think your favorite part of being an EIC is?

Well, I mean, you said it, like photo shoots are so fun. I love a photo shoot. I’m addicted to them at this point. Like when one ends, I’m like immediately thinking about the next one. And I also think one of my favorite things, we already kind of touched on this, but just seeing like the community, I’ve been doing a lot of inperson events lately. We were just at an art show and some markets and obviously like the launch party that we did in August for the first issue, DIY. And all of those were like in-person events.

And like, one of the coolest things is getting to like run those and like meet people in real life and like hear about like how the zines like positively affected them or just like hearing about their personal lives.

Like as a person, as a creative, I love kind of just getting to connect with people and like, yeah, I don’t know. I think that’s like such a gift and I could not have anticipated that I would be doing this much.

Do you have any specific story of a person that you met at an event and the good feedback that they gave you?

Yeah, I had this really funny thing happen

at the art show, which was the Two Twins art show in Playa Vista. So like in L.A. and I was just chilling, I wouldn’t have anything for sale. Everything was just on display. But this guy who went to Morehouse, which is an HBCU in Atlanta. So we had that connection, he came up to me. He was like, this is so cool. Like, tell me more about it.

He hadn’t heard of us before. He just kind of wandered in.

And so I was telling him about it. Then his mom came up and his mom was like, this is awesome. How much is the top and how much is the zine? And I was like, oh, like we were selling the tops for like forty-five and the zine for like fifteen. Then she was like, well, I’ll take both. I was like, what? Like you want to buy this right now? At an art show? It wasn’t like, oh, you go and you buy the art that’s on there. It was supposed to be like a networking thing. And so I was so caught off guard. It was also like so fucking awesome. I let her buy the top, I kept the zine because those were my personal zines. But then afterward she was like, I need to get your autograph and I need my son to get a photo with you. I was like, I felt like a little celebrity.

Where do you think the future of print media is going?

Maybe it’s a little bit biased because I just want it really bad. But I genuinely have been seeing so many new magazines popping up, people who are interested in zines, and bringing that back. And I mean, everything old is new again, right?

So I think it just makes sense to me that there would be kind of this resurgence happening. And I also think that more multimedia magazines will become more popular too. Because there are quite a few print and literary magazines, just a bit more specific because they only do like written work.

And on that note, technology is advancing at a crazy rate. I mean, there are conversations every day now I feel like about AI or about just how digital our world has become. And like you and I, we were born in the digital era. We had the internet when we were born. So like that’s just like such a big part of our lives. And I think what I also see happening for print media is print magazines also utilizing their digital platforms a lot. So like, you know, getting on the TikToks, having a website, doing

digital issues as well. Kind of like what you’re doing, I think that the hybrid model will also become more popular because it appeals to like everyone who’s online, like me, I am. But then it also there’s like this nostalgic thing about like getting to have a print issue as well and flip through that and like have it on your bookshelf or have it like hanging on your wall.

This also about the future, but where do you see your future career going? Do you want to keep going with Dreamworldgirl or do you want to do something else?

Yeah, I want to keep going until I drop dead.

That sounds morbid, but it’s true! Like when I started this, it was such a hobby. It was just like something I thought would be over in August. Like I didn’t think anyone would see it. And now I feel this crazy momentum. And I’m just like, how the fuck have we done everything we’ve done in the past six months? I couldn’t tell you, but the fact that we’ve done this much and gained this much in such a short amount of time, I’m just like, I can’t even imagine what it would be like in five years. And so I don’t want to stop.

And ideally, in a dream world, I get to do this as my full-time job and I get to be the editor of this publication and I get to produce everything and create everything and continue to do events. And it becomes something that is intrinsic to who I am and becomes my career. And that’s like high hoping, that would probably take a decade for me to get to that point where I can sustain myself even just a little bit off the zine.

I mean, on online sales alone in the past month, there was like three hundred. Isn’t that awesome? I feel like I’m not crazy to think that there is a potential for this to go pretty far. So, yeah, I think that’s like what I dream of is getting to do this like as a full-time job and kind of like run my own shit and not have to work corporate. Also, there is something kind of appealing about corporate, like I would love to work for Simon & Schuster or Random House, one of those big publishing companies in New York. So, I think that’s something I can also see myself doing is working in publishing or media like for somebody else. But I’ve just gotten a taste of it now, doing my own thing and I’m like it’s too good to pass up.

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A Beginner’s Guide to

SELF LO LOVE AND RESPECT Love yourself enough to walk away. words: Emma Neenan | design: Leah Sullivan & Revati Mahurkar Self-love has somehow been turned from a positive to a sensitive topic that needs to be carefully discussed. People don’t want to seem “too conceited,” “too forward,” or “too selfish,” however, self-love is none of these things. Self-love is the things you like and dislike, the person you want to be, the friends you mesh best with, the traits you look for in a partner, and your desired lifestyle.

Respect follows self-love. When you can fully love yourself you hold both yourself and others in your life to a higher standard, naturally.

Speaking of standards, when you enter friendships and relationships aware of your worth and exactly what you bring to the table, you will be able to acknowledge that you are the prize in this situation. Viewing yourself as the prize does not mean you think you are better than other people. It simply means that you are aware of how lucky someone would be to be in a relationship with you. Choosing to spend your time, effort, emotions, and energy on someone should not be taken lightly. Where you choose to place your energy, or more importantly who you choose to spend it on, will directly affect you. If you spend time pouring yourself into someone who doesn't love you (romantically or platonically) in the way you desire, you are only hurting yourself.

Everyone in your life will inevitably affect who you are, the mannerisms you adapt and phrases you find yourself saying are a direct reflection of who is in your life. More importantly, if you surround yourself with people who view you highly, you will also carry this mindset through your day-to-day thoughts. And those people will never allow you to be mistreated. Friendships or relationships that are polluted with jealousy and competition will never last in the long run, and spending time with these people will most likely leave you feeling bad about yourself. Everyone has been there, when you are hanging out with that one friend that you know is not looking out for your best interest. This is not normal, friendships and relationships should add to your life, not make you question your every word. You are worth the quality of friendships and relationships, where you know that in a room full of people, they would talk so highly about you.

Cutting people and situations off and saying no can be so daunting, but we are here to tell you that it is ok to be selfish.

Being selfish is painted in such a negative light, however it does not always consist of screwing people over. Being selflessly selfish is a concept that should be engraved in all of our brains when we are left wondering about that on-again, off-again friendship or

relationship. This way of thinking focuses on making decisions that both benefit and fulfill your life. Saying no to people who take and take may initially be uncomfortable. This is because they are so used to you saying yes and being there to give yourself and your time to them fully. When you say no they may be offended because they are so used to you cooperating under their terms. However, how someone reacts to you choosing what is best for you tells you everything that you need to know about that friendship or relationship. Anyone who truly loves and cares will never punish you for doing what is best for you. Choosing to end those onesided relationships and focus on the people who treat you the way you deserve is the highest form of self-love and respect. You view yourself too highly to be put in a situation that makes you feel as if you are worth less than you are.

You would never take a job offer that completely underpays you for your skills, you would simply apply somewhere else. This is the same situation as the people and relationships we choose to surround ourselves with. Do not stay in situations with people who do not view you as worthy of the best treatment and care. Not feeling 100% about a situation can make leaving a situation seem difficult. Walking away from someone who seems ok but does not truly love you the way you are looking to be loved can be so difficult. But remember that someone does not have to cheat on you, lie to you, or act rude towards you for you to walk away. Not being completely sure about someone is just as valid of an excuse to end that relationship or situationship as finding a press that isn't yours in his bed. Carrying the skills of self-love and respect throughout your life will allow you to attract people who view you just as highly as you view yourself. It may push some people away, however, it is important to realize that the people who are being pushed most likely did not play a role in building you up in the first place.

Carrying these traits will allow you to connect with people and situations that align with what you desire most. Leaving that job that pays you half of what you had anticipated may seem intimidating. Ending a relationship where someone does not truly value and cherish you may make you sad at first.

Choosing to end a friendship with someone you were once close with may seem like the wrong decision when you first do it. However, the feelings that come after making the decision that was made with self-love and respect for you, are worth all of the initial uncomfortable emotions.

Dear Diary,

Oversharing Is Not a Bad Thing It’s normal to express your feelings. words: Rhylee Hudson | design: Lily Zuckerman For generations, women have been told to keep business to themselves, but why? There is no reason that we need to do that.

Bottling up emotion only leads to projection and denial of the truth. It’s time to own up to how we actually feel.

understand your feelings, but you won’t know until you speak out about it. It is guaranteed that you aren’t the first person to feel a certain way and if you’re talking to the right person, they will make you feel seen.

Why is pretending to have everything together so normalized?

Like the girl you see every day on campus, wearing a bomb outfit, holding a ludicrously capacious bag. She looks like she has so much going on. But at the same time, somehow she has all the time in the world. We all know her (and want to be her friend – but we’ll get to that later). Unfortunately, it’s all an illusion. Not saying she’s a mess, but no one’s perfect, and everyone is going through their own shit. It is so normal to feel like you are the only one with big emotions. Feeling these emotions is something to be proud of, and sharing those feelings with others is important.

The first step to positively oversharing is to learn who you are, and how you feel. A simple way to think about this is, why am I thinking these thoughts? Or why do I care about this? You don’t need a concrete answer, having even a small idea is better than nothing, and is progress. You need to understand how your brain works before anyone else can; you can do this in many ways, such as writing down your thoughts. Just getting your emotions out and onto physical paper makes those giant feelings more understandable. When feelings are understood, it prevents you from boiling over, and friends are a great way to help talk about your feelings and experiences.

The impacts of not discussing your feelings go further than embarrassment ever could. Would you want someone to think a little bit extra about something you said? Or, would you rather drown in the sorrows of what you wish you could tell someone?

It’s time to get real and reach out.

Have you ever wanted to tell a random stranger something about yourself? The answer is yes. To find a cure, tell your friends how you are feeling. Whether it be turning to your roommate or engaging in a late-night dinner talk with a friend you haven’t seen all year, it’s so beneficial to at least tell someone how you feel. Yes, it is very normal to feel like no one will

Oversharing is bliss when you have friends who think similarly to you. Friends shouldn’t be your carbon copies, but it helps when people hear you speak and find themselves saying “Wait I’ve always had this thought, I thought I was the only one.” Like-minded people thrive off of each other. A way to find these like-minded people is to reach out. There is no harm in attempting to become friends with someone just because you sense that they are a good person.

When you have a friend crush on a friend from Instagram or even someone you know in class, ACT ON IT! You will be grateful that you even attempted to surround yourself with people who will value your brain and opinions.

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Girl, Put Your Phone Down There is so much life outside of that little glowing box. words: Emma Neenan | design: Maisy Wood We have all been there, you are in the middle of an event that should be exciting. Suddenly, you feel the buzz of your phone and are immediately pulled back into feeling that you have to respond.

Brought back to that chaotic mindset wondering who is texting you, or who is not texting you. Whether you are in the middle of a party awaiting a text from that guy who knows exactly when to pull away, or out at dinner and you see your friends back home posting the “dream” college life. Let us be the voice of reason when we tell you: Girl, put your phone down.

Although phones allow us to stay in contact with the people we love, overuse can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Whether your feed is full of happy relationships as you’re on your fifth failed talking stage, or people the same age as you living a life you’ve only ever imagined, our phones often do more harm than good.

A good social media cleanse now and then can work wonders on your mental health. If that is a bit too extreme, start by just logging off of one app for one day. Notice the time you have to spend on other things and the difference in your thoughts. This is by no means a social media diss, or us telling you to go ghost on all platforms. Rather just a simple suggestion that might help you acknowledge how little of a role social media plays in your life. It is so easy to get caught up scrolling and forget how big the world is outside of that six-by-three-inch phone.

The topic of social media being linked to comparison has been engraved in our brains for years, and that is likely something you have heard a million times. Whether it is comparing what your night looks like to your friends back at home through your private stories, or who’s “day in the life” TikTok seems more interesting, comparison is inevitable. It is so easy to ignore the negative thoughts filling your head about how other people’s nights, friends, relationships, and bodies look different than yours through a five-second clip or edited photo. However, the truth is that over time these feelings that you assume you are just brushing off, end up building up and being stored within your thoughts. Yet, knowing the risks does not prevent us from logging in daily to refresh our feeds. So instead let’s discuss all of the things you will miss out on if you let that Snapchat notification dictate your night.

By giving all of your energy to your notifications, you are completely preventing yourself from appreciating the moment you are in. That Snapchat from the guy you like can be opened in the morning and that picture of a girl from high school does not need to be liked immediately. Turning on Do Not Disturb can make a world

of difference and allow yourself to focus on the moment. At the end of the day, you have control over your phone. Do not let your phone ruin your night, dnd is your best friend (customizing the notifications you can allow on DND is the best decision Apple has ever made).

Building memories with your core group of friends is so much more valuable than keeping up with what other people are doing. You do not want to have FOMO from a night where you were in attendance physically, but mentally you were absent. The notification you are waiting for from your on-again, off-again talking stage will never provide you with the love and memories that a night with your girls will. By allowing yourself to fully live in the moment you can appreciate where you are and the people surrounding you.

Good memories from a night out can be easily polluted by the sadness of not receiving a text back, but why? We give up so much power to people and apps that do not benefit our lives. Once you can recognize that the notification you are waiting on is simply, not that important, you regain that power. By allowing yourself to focus on the people surrounding you and the moment you are in, you take your power back. We decide exactly what we think and believe, so focus on rewiring your subconscious when you are out. There is no need to be constantly checking your reflection on your camera and taking endless pictures and videos if you are already experiencing them in the present moment.

So save that paragraph that your situationship will never be able to comprehend. Go to the bathroom to talk with your girls instead of taking mirror selfies, and appreciate the moment before pulling out your camera to take a video. At the end of the night, you will be able to go to bed and wake up the next morning without your heart dropping when you see how many texts you sent last night that should have stayed in your notes app.

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that was We’ve all been there once or twice. words: Ashley Garcia | design: Lily Zuckerman Awkward interactions are the ultimate kryptonite for a college girl's experience.

Maybe you're trying to walk and talk at the same time, and you trip in front of your current crush. Or you misread social cues in front of other people. We enter college knowing it is everyone’s first time here, but it doesn't make those awkward interactions any easier to forget. The awkwardness of these situations will seem stuck in your head, but trust me, we have all been there.

Here are three awkward encounters that we have all had to overcome.

you know, screams erupt as a heart shows up on the screen. You just liked the guy’s post, and the damage is done when your friend takes back the like. There is looming dread when thinking about how awkward it will be running into this guy on campus.

If this situation occurs, just laugh it off and remember that everyone has done this more than once when stalking a man's social media. Chances are he has also done something similar. Who knows, maybe he might even become interested.

Misreading social cues

You rush into the elevator when you spot a familiar face from your class standing there. The doors slide shut and suddenly you’re both enclosed in a small space.

An awkward silence fills the elevator, and you wonder if you guys are going to make small talk or just stay silent. You start the conversation with a simple “Hi, how are you?” and receive a “Good” back.

The silence creeps back in and you both awkwardly stare at the floor numbers going up. You both stay silent until you reach the first stop and leave the elevator with a simple, “Have a great day.” The true awkwardness comes when you both start walking in the same direction to class and walk side to side in silence. The good news is you guys don’t sit next to each other and that interaction is over.

I can guarantee that more than half of you reading this have done this pain-stacking and embarrassing action more than once when hanging out with friends or alone.

You're walking around campus and see someone in front of you raise their hand to wave, as if saying hello. Excitedly, you lift your hand and wave, feeling a rush of happiness at the thought of running into a friend. Just as you start to wave, the person next to you waves at the person you thought was waving at you.​​You pretend that it didn’t happen and walk it off. You keep replaying how silly you must have looked and beat yourself up over it. In hindsight, this is a classic college moment that feels like you’ll remember forever, but truly once the next week comes around, you’ll forget all about it and so will everyone else.

Liking posts on Instagram, is it like a virtual love letter?

A heart on Instagram cannot go unnoticed.

This is the most dreaded moment in girlhood. When stalking a cute guy's socials, one friend keeps saying, “Be careful what you press,” and the other, “Don’t even touch the screen.” Next thing 44

The elevator small talk

Awkward interactions are an inevitable part of college, but some of those cringeworthy moments will make for great stories later. Remember to embrace life.

You are not the only one going through hiccups. Embrace the awkwardness because that’s where some of the best stories and unexpected friendships begin.

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FINDING SELF-CONFIDENCE Comparison is the thief of joy. Steal it back. words: Abigail Luca | design: Catie Carlisle Confidence is the backbone of all possibilities; it fuels our attitudes and abilities. When confidence is high, our energy is attractive. The inner trust to receive all that is believably deserved hangs like a halo. However, in a world fixated on unattainable perfection, showing up as your strongest self isn't always easy.

Low confidence facilitates a cycle of insecurity, dulling vibrant energy; and hindering growth.

Show Up and Show Out The saying “fake it until you make it” reigns true for building confidence. Even those who appear self-assured wrestle with a sense of security; it’s universal. Confident individuals embody an aspired version of themselves.

What you set forth into the world circles back.

Grow with these tips.

Manifest that shit.

From physical expectations (a toned gut and cellulite-free legs) to daily routines (5 a.m. hot yoga and made-from-scratch meals), society has set unrealistic expectations. It’s almost impossible to say you’ve never measured yourself against a complete and beautiful stranger. Admiring the flatness of their stomach while covering your own with a pillow as you sit. Envying the polished aesthetic of the creator you put on a pedestal. Users are forcefed these ideals in the real world and on social media, where influencers flaunt their malnourished, modified bodies and curated lifestyles. This exposure fosters a comparison-driven culture, making us feel like shit.

1. Positive affirmations: Turn negative self-talk into a pep-talk.

“In spirituality, we devote time to rewiring how we speak to ourselves and the primal idea of who we are. A lot of ideas are given not developed by us,” said Bonacci. Affirmations need to begin with “ I am.” It has the ability to raise and tear your vibration. I am whole. I am beautiful. I am healthy. I am divine.

I am happy,” said Bonacci. Regardless of doubt, visualizing yourself in an ideal position nurtures the inspiration to get there.

Steal Joy Back

“We live in a world where focusing on the things that aren’t working has become how we live our lives. We have forgotten to nurture the things that are.”

Isabel Bonacci, Life and Spirtual Coach 1. Love what you like: Perhaps you admire your sense of humorYou're the funniest person ever. Your blue eyes? Your new favorite color. You may be a great listener- a trusted friend.

“If we spend more time building ourselves up, we will have enough confidence to deal with the negative,” said Bonacci.

2. Ignore your feed: It is important to stay mindful of the content you consume. Taking a step back from the brain rot can help you regain perspective and recognize that curated posts often tell only part of the story, not every chapter.

3. Fill your glass: Establish what matters to you and align your lifestyle with those values instead of a “Day In My Life” TikTok. Work out instead of go out. Pursue Writing over Finance if it excites you. Focusing on what resonates with you is key instead of catering to societal prescriptions.

4. A win is a win: Take time to praise yourself and overcome perfectionism. Made your bed for the first time in a while?

Studied hard but didn’t ace the exam? Give yourself a highfive. No matter how small, any form of success is still a victory worth celebrating.

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2. Dress the part: Dressing in a way that makes you feel attractive and comfortable reflects authenticity; combating insecurity created by beauty standards. Keep your “go-to” jeans in rotation. Wear your hair slick black if it makes you feel fierce.

This goes beyond boosting your look; when you look good, you feel good—and vice versa.

3. Take care: What does it mean to love yourself? It may not mean looking in the mirror and saying I love you. “Love may be through therapy or fueling your body with good food. It may be surrounding yourself with genuine people or spiritual tools. It is something we have to tend to daily,” said Bonacci.

4. Positive body language: Assertive posture, direct eye contact, and a toothy smile can make you appear as powerful as you’d like to be perceived. Grounded body language not only influences the impression you make but forges a genuine dominance from within. Impress yourself.

Regardless of the billions of people on this planet, it’s still all too easy to feel on your own. Having confidence when stretched thin is difficult. Nonetheless, consider that you are your harshest critic.

No one is hyper-fixated on where you are in life or dissecting every aspect of your reflection. Your thoughts define who stares back in the mirror. Every individual is entitled to live in confidence. You deserve to celebrate who you are and invite the world to the party.

Apple Pie

Martini words: Bella Tabak and Mia Rosenzweig | design: Tess Cosgrave

We are bored of overdone drinks! If you’re looking for mild sweetness and a holiday flavor, this is the martini for you. This original drink was cooked up in our kitchen after a friend declined offers of espresso martinis and lemon drops. After finding some apple juice in the fridge and apple pie spice in the cabinet, we knew just what to make. So, do you want one too?

Ingredients: • • • • • • • • •

Martini Glass Shaker Apple Pie Spice Sugar Simple Syrup Apple Slice 3 oz Apple Juice 1.5 oz Vodka 0.5 oz Caramel liquor

Steps: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

Add simple syrup to one bowl.

Add one packet of sugar to another bowl.

Mix apple pie spice into the sugar.

Dip the rim of the martini glass into the simple syrup, and then into the sugar mixture.

Ice your shaker.

Pour 3 oz of apple juice.

Add 1.5 oz of vodka.

Finally, add 0.5 oz caramel liquor.

Shake, pour, add your apple slice garnish, and serve!

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words: Madison Sherman | design: Revati Mahurkar

COME AND GO

GOT F IN PANERA...

I had been hooking up with this kid since the beginning of the semester, so I went to his place after a night out. We immediately started making out and he began to dry hump me (he was on top).

After asking him to take his pants off, he continued dry humping.

He went at it really fast for about 30 seconds, then stopped and got off of me. I touched my jeans and felt something gooey and wet. It was pitch black, so I reached for my phone’s flashlight: there was cum all over my new jeans!!! I took them off and asked if I could wear something of his for the walk home to my place. He said, “No.” I had to walk back to my dorm with cum-stained jeans.

I had sex in a Panera bathroom. [Afterward], we ate some mac and cheese and bread and acted like everything was normal.

BENT OVER AND BUSTED The first time I had sex with my boyfriend, I started by giving him head. Then, about halfway through, the door opened. I didn’t hear it. I was pantless, with my butt in the air in a doggy position, when his grandma walked in. She knocked on the door twice and loudly cleared her throat to get our attention. When I looked up and saw her, I immediately grabbed my pants and tried to hide, accidentally slamming into his bookshelf and causing the whole thing to collapse. Books flew off in every which way. She kept staring at us. He remained still in the same position with pure shock.

NEW WHIP, WHO DIS? My ex and I were in the middle of doing it when he got a phone call. He stopped what he was doing to pick it up: it was the girl he told me not to worry about. Instead of explaining what the call was about or what he was doing, he just got up, put his clothes on and went downstairs. He told me he’d be right back, leaving me confused and completely NAKED!!! He came back 10 minutes later and told me the “other” girl had gotten a new car and wanted him to see it. I got up and left. We had been dating for two years at this point.

BIG EGO, SMALL... YOU KNOW I met this guy on Tinder who was a recent college graduate — First red flag. Anyways, one evening he invited me over to hook up. The only kicker: it was in the middle of the summer at 6 p.m., so the sun was still shining — Second red flag. Being 19-years-old and in my “Do it For the Plot” Era, I happily got in my car and drove over.

He told me they had recently moved as we entered his makeshift bedroom; just a bed, a TV and some boxes — Third red flag. I sat at the edge of his bed, beginning to rethink my choices. He told me that his brother was going to be home soon and we didn’t have a lot of time to “hang out.” We continued to make small talk, and I realized that a conversation with him was like pulling teeth. I couldn’t do it anymore. In a moment of silence, I kissed him to get the talking part over with. One thing led to another and he pulled down his pants and reached for a condom. I looked down to find what I genuinely thought was a micro penis. But the cherry on top was that he whipped out A MAGNUM CONDOM. I’m laying there (shell-shocked) and unsure of what to do. He proceeded to put on this massive condom, and with little to no foreplay, he tried to put it in. With a combination of me being totally turned off and a condom three times too big, nothing was happening. It would not go in. After many failed attempts, he randomly FINISHED OUT OF NOWHERE. He promptly headed to the bathroom, and I sat there naked and confused. He came back into the room, checked his phone and told me his brother was going to be home in five minutes. Thank God. I got dressed and headed out at lightning speed. On my way out, he told me he wanted me to come back later. I never spoke to him again.

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He’s holding my bra hostage. Please help me.

One time, I was sitting shirtless on top of a guy, and he told me that I reminded him of his mom. That’s it.

A guy from Tinder tried to finger me with his foot.

My first time giving head, my brace bracket got stuck on his f*reskin, and I spent a whole minute trying to get it off with him just sitting there awkwardly.

He sucked my lip so hard it became a black and blue. We had to stop f*cking to get ice from the gas station.

This guy came in my nose and then ghosted me after…

The ideas expressed are not those of Syracuse University, the Office of Student Activities, the Student Association, or the Student Body.