Balkan Beats 33 - Change

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Out Of The Borders society

How to help women grow You are not better

by Katarzyna Ciszewska

Why do we, women, take so much pride in think-

ing that we are better than other women? “I’m better than her. My face is better, my body is better.” - we are all guilty of these thoughts. Even without realizing we subconsciously make these assumptions. There is this part of our conscientiousness that continually tells us to compare ourselves, and the only way it will be satisfied is when we convince it that we are better. Even when we gossip, we tend to focus on other women’s appearances, whereas men might talk more about wealth and their competitors’ athleticism.

Scholars agree that gossiping is an excellent way to learn about others and to enforce group norms. Then why do we like to bring other women down while gossiping? Where does this come from?

Feeling good enough

We all have our insecurities. Sometimes it is tough for us to feel beautiful, to feel like we are good enough. Even though we all experience that, it is not normal. Society wants us to normalize it by profiting from our insecurities and we

“These days more than ever, we should stand united”

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are doing exactly what they want. By feeling bad about ourselves, we tend to put the same energy on other people, especially other women. Making them feel like putting on more makeup or losing more weight will make them acceptable in our society. That it will make them ‘enough.’ We stopped listening to our bodies, our thoughts because we already know that they are wrong. Instead, we start to listen to ‘influencers,’ ‘social


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