Finding the true woman of valour Jodie Franks & Dora Hirsh

Eishet chayil (Woman of Valour) is a biblical passage often read on Friday evening. At first glance, the words seem to conflict with contemporary values of equality and self-determination. Charlotte Elisheva Fonrobert, professor in the Religious Studies department of Stanford University, explains that when approaching a problematic text such as this one, there are two classic approaches. The polemic approach is to disregard the text completely, refusing to engage with a piece of writing that describes the ideal woman as simply a housewife, taking care of her family. The apologists, however, are always on the side of the eishet chayil, ready to justify anything and often critical of us, the reader, using our skewed “modern lens” to look at the passage.

Agreeing with Charlotte that neither of these approaches are helpful to those of us who want to actively engage with our textual heritage, and work through the difficulties, we are attempting to start afresh and look at Eishet Chayil for what it is – an objectionable passage with a beautiful sentiment, which each one of us, as modern commentators, have the right to argue with and learn from.

Eishet chayil, the woman of valour, has many qualities. She gives to the poor, gets up early to prepare breakfast for her family, as well as making clothing and fabrics to sell. This description of the life of a busy woman, 3000 years ago, beautifully uncovers the invisible labour women did, and continue to do, and allows those around the table a chance to stop and appreciate the female force. Whilst being an economic powerhouse is not the first thing that comes to mind when we think of biblical women, the eishet chayil is just that. As a woman, she has agency. She is not passive, but a doer, with control over her own destiny. She takes risks and responsibilities, with the knowledge that she always has the backing of her partner. The trust between the couple is explicit and strong, allowing the woman to see projects through from start to finish without needing permission from her husband. Seen this way, Eishet Chayil is a powerful tale of female strength and responsibility, even in a male-dominated society. Having said that, the problematic nature of the text cannot be ignored. Whilst the woman is taking on this enormous domestic burden, the man’s responsibility is to stand up, and sing her praises every Friday night. Is the eishet chayil passage a beautiful acknowledgement of the women’s work throughout the week, or are these words empty, a male excuse to not step up and offer practical help to one’s partner? It is also true that in today’s world, an increasing number of families do not fit the traditional heterosexual model that we see depicted in Eishet Chayil, and people in same-sex or single parent families may not naturally see themselves reflected in this passage. It also appears to essentialise the traditionally male and female roles, where many couples today choose different divisions of labour. These are problems that as modern Jews, we finally have the space to explore and question, without our core beliefs, faith and communal involvement put at risk. A question often posed is why Eishet Chayil is sung on Friday night specifically - one of the first things we do to welcome Shabbat. These day-to-day, often mundane activities described in the text are also forbidden on Shabbat itself, so why do we recall them on Friday night? Often, our Jewish experiences revolve around Shabbat, festivals, and communal activities. The chasm between the holy and the ordinary is felt stronger now than ever before. Through Eishet Chayil, we come to understand that even cooking, going shopping, and doing chores should be infused with Judaism, each act becoming holy in its own right. Seen through this lens, Eishet Chayil is an emotive celebration of getting through another week, having completed so many tasks, now allowing ourselves the luxury to rest and relax on Shabbat. Eishet Chayil is an opportunity to take time on Friday night to look back on our accomplishments, and praise ourselves and others for even the smaller things. As students, it is easy to feel as though the days slip away, to feel stuck in monotony, and to lose track of the small things we do every day – attending that morning lecture, making a start on that essay, getting through that sink-full of washing up, or even just changing out of your pyjamas in the morning. But Eishet Chayil can remind us that those everyday tasks are infused with holiness, and even when they feel invisible, they are praiseworthy and something to be proud of. Whilst there are differing views about how much of Eishet Chayil to say on Friday night, if at all, looking at our source texts through an inquisitive and open lens is never a wasted exercise. We invite you to tackle the difficult pieces of our faith with the appreciation that the space exists in which to do so. As the eishet chayil “opens her mouth with wisdom, and a lesson of kindness is on her tongue,” so too should we critically engage with the foundations of our faith with wisdom, and speak kindly about those often sidelined in our ancient narrative.