Crescent Magazine November 2012

crescent University of Evansville

College Culture Upfront l November 2012

magazine

STUDENT ADVISORY: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE From Shakespeare to a Samuel L. Jackson character, swearwords have made their mark on today’s society.

LEADING THE WAY

The Center for Career Development is undergoing major reorganization, but how does it help spell success?

THOSE LEFT BEHIND When we are affected by suicide, how do we move on after losing someone close?

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editorial Writing Director Mindy Kurtz hensley Writing Assistant Amy Reinhart Reporting Assistant A.J. Ogundimu Senior Writer Jessica Ingle Writers Joshua best brodie gress tori griffin craig keepes Chelsea Modglin emily molli chris norris alexandra wade jamelyn wheeler

editing Editing Director Jenelle Clausen Copy Editors Ashley matthews anna sheffer Fact Checker Emily krieble

thestaff

CREATIVE Creative Director Amanda Squire Photo Editor Samantha Cook Designers Jeffrey Buente Kaylee Harden kevin o’reilly Brooke Reneer Katie Winiger Photographer Jessica crihfield-taylor

marketing & sales Advertising Sales Manager jon sturgeon Marketing Assistants ashley davis Alison petrash Circulation Assistant Michael Armanno

contents 12

entertainment l A.J. Ogundimu

16

feature l Mindy Kurtz Hensley & Chelsea Modglin

Most often, an oasis brings to mind pictures of a bright, tropical place of relaxation. But Oasis Hookah Lounge turns that notion upside down with its loud music, dance floor and black light nights.

Throughout history, words have always been a part of our culture, and they can make us laugh, cry or change the way other people think about us. What is it about taboo words that keeps our mouths shut?

20

fascinating people l Jessica Ingle

22

cover l Jessica Ingle & Jamelyn Wheeler

26

feature l Amy Reinhart & Joshua Best

Junior Ryan Bassemier might have landed a spot as a Cosmo model, but when asked about his schooling and his love for the environment, it’s easy to see that he is much more than just a pretty face.

Suicide claims the most college student lives every year and has become a subject of great concern. When everyone is left grieving, we ask the question: How is it possible to keep going in such a dark time?

The Center for Career Development has gotten a serious makeover.

But what comes with the new title, and how is it looking to help put students on a successful path from their first day as students?

03 Viewpoint

29 Through the Lens

04 Vox Populi

30 Campus Crime

07 Innovation

31 Dorm Storm

08 Giving Back

32 Overtime

10 One Word

35 A Closer Look

14 First Time

36 Off the Wall

19 Fitness & Health

38 The Lists

25 Q&A

40 Don’t Quote Me

facebook.com/uecrescent l issuu.com/uecrescentmagazine l crescentmagazine@evansville.edu 02

Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

If a man can bare his chest in print, why can’t a woman? when planning

articles, our Editorial Board chooses the topics, and the writers bring them to life. But creating designs that draw people’s attention is just as challenging. We take pride in our magazine covers, and that prides comes with careful consideration, which can make for some striking covers. Case in point: October 2011 was arguably the most memorable cover last year.

You remember it — the woman shielding her breasts with her hands, but showing enough to prove they were there. But do you remember the story that went with it? Many who expressed their outrage did not look past the cover. The story “The Naked Truth” was about the reasons nudity is viewed as taboo — especially for a woman.

Granted, not everyone on campus freaked out, but there were enough knee-jerk reactions to make it seem as though we put porn on the cover. Some said we were damaging UE’s reputation. Others came to Student Publications to ask if a female staff member modeled for the cover. Most magazine racks were empty by the end of the week, making the issue one of the most popular in the magazine’s history. Although we did not receive many e-mails or letters to the editor, those who took the time to do so made their voices heard. And a vocal minority counts for something.

We started planning for the October 2012 issue in August. After much discussion, we decided to write about health supplements as our October cover story. Coming up with the cover design was a bit tougher. That is when the idea of having a shirtless man on the cover came to mind. But not just any man: a student. And the pose would be one readers

had seen before — a near replica of last year’s cover.

A number of male students hiked to our office Sept.

11 for a model casting call. One by one, they pulled off their shirts, flexed their muscles and flashed a smile for the camera. We were pleased by the turnout and enjoyed selecting the model for the cover.

We predicted that students would not react as strongly to a man’s unclad chest as they did to a woman’s. And we were right. We did not receive any scolding letters or e-mails from disappointed readers. Administrators did not fret about the cover undermining UE’s honor. So why were readers’ reactions about both covers polar opposites? Why was it more acceptable for a man to show off on the cover than a woman?

The point of last year’s cover was to show that people should be proud of the skin they are in. If a man wants to let the world know he is proud of his body, then a woman should have the same right. We are not shouting sexism; we are making the point that both genders should have the right to feel comfortable in their bodies without fear of retribution, no matter how they choose to show them off.

ourviewpoint

Conflicting messages

letter

Chick-fil–A If people take an all-or-nothing approach to condemning support of a business’ political views, I suggest they begin examining just what messages they themselves send by the merchanise they buy. I believe most will be hard-pressed to find anyone who buys strictly according to political preferences because there is so much to consider, and doing so does not always make the most practical sense. If you desire for UE to rethink its business affiliations, to what extent should it go?

Sarah Lasher, senior

how to contact us Address: Ridgway University Center, University of Evansville, 1800 Lincoln Ave., Evansville, Ind. 47722 Editorial e-mail: crescentmagazine@evansville.edu • Phone: (812) 488–2846 • FAX: (812) 488–2224 Marketing & Sales: (812) 488–2221 and 488–2223 • Marketing & Sales e-mail: crescentadvertising@evansville.edu

Crescent Magazine is the University of Evansville’s student magazine. It is written, edited and designed by and for students and distributed six times during the academic year. It is funded through advertising revenue and a subscription fee paid on behalf of students by the Student Government Association. Circulation is 1,700. Printed by Mar-Kel Printing, Newburgh, Ind. © 2012 Student Publications, University of Evansville. z Editorial Policy: Commentary expressed in unsigned editorial pieces represents a consensus opinion of Crescent Magazine’s Editorial Board. Other columns, articles and advertising are not necessarily the opinion of the Editorial Board or other members of the magazine. z Letter Submissions: Crescent Magazine welcomes letters from UE students, faculty, staff, administrators and alumni, but material the Editorial Board regards as libelous, malicious and/or obscene will not be published. Letters should not exceed 400 words. For verification, letters must include the author’s name, year in school or title and e-mail address. Crescent Magazine does not print anonymous letters or those that cannot be verified. Letters will be edited for length, style, grammar and spelling. E-mail letters to crescentmagazine@evansville.edu and write “letter” in the subject line.

11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

03

Still the land of the free?

Little to no progress made on civil liberties.

There has

been a lot of talk about civil liberties in our current political landscape. After 9/11 we had the Patriot Act, warrantless wiretapping, the suspension of habeas corpus and other controversial policies meant to make us safer but that really just eroded American privacy and freedom.

voxpopuli

When President Barack Obama took office, many assumed we would see a reduction in probing legislation. Instead, under Obama we have seen the expansion of liberty-infringing policy. And the other option, former Gov. Mitt Romney, has run a campaign that is not looking to change that either — unless such change takes the form of tax cuts.

When Obama ran in 2008, “Hope” and “Change” were the tag lines of his campaign. It was not just economic change people were looking for, but an alternative to the paranoia-filled policies of the George W. Bush era. Obama supported gay and reproductive rights. He also promised to end the war in Iraq and close Guantanamo Bay; he only followed through on the former. The heavy military bias of his predecessor was nowhere to be found during the campaign, and with his promises of change came visions of a freer America.

But efforts to repeal the Patriot Act and treat those accused of terrorism humanely have stagnated, and a repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” stands as the lone triumph for civil liberties under the Obama years.

In September, a joint study by Stanford Law School and New York University School of Law produced a damning report about drone attacks in Pakistan.

While the subject may sound unimportant, the reality is not. America has killer robots shooting missiles from the sky at Pakistani villages. That is not a joke or a metaphor: It is plain, simple truth.

The study estimates anywhere between 474 and 881 civilian deaths are a result of the drone attacks, including 176 children. It is hard to get an exact number, partially because the government is not forthcoming on the casualties that result from these attacks. The attacks have spread fear among Pakistanis and are contributing to anti-American sentiment in the region. These drones hover 24 hours a day over towns and strike without warning.

Sure, these may not be American citizens, but what would life be like if a country thousands of miles 04

Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

away sent silent killers to arbitrarily bomb your neighborhood? Is it really worth that many deaths to make America safer, assuming that the strikes are not breeding terrorism instead of stamping it out? That is besides the fact that Guantanamo is still open, the Patriot Act is still in effect and the war in Afghanistan is still happening. Basically, anyone voting for change in 2008 has been sorely disappointed.

On the home front, earlier this year the Indiana Supreme Court claimed that citizens do not have the right to prevent the police from entering their homes, even without a warrant. There is now no legal way to prevent your home from being searched by the police, even if they lack probable cause or any reason at all. Instead we have to trust that those in power will not abuse their power and infringe upon our rights, even though there are plenty of examples of the government poking its nose into Americans’ private lives.

It has already been established that Romney does not support gay marriage or reproductive rights, and he certainly has no problem with Guantanamo, the Patriot Act or any of the other ways through which our rights are being infringed. No votes cast for Romney will go toward preservation of civil liberties.

As for Obama, he has been ineffectual at best, not providing leadership or pushing big, dangerous issues to the forefront.

Some people fear that we live in a country similar to George Orwell’s “1984”; TV personality Keith Olbermann became famous for saying just that. Even if it sounds like a doomsday prophecy, there is some truth in such statements. There are cameras on the street in London watching for criminals. American investigators can tap your phone. Twitter gave a New York Occupy protester’s tweets to the courts.

The American military can strike anywhere with blistering speed, and American intelligence agencies can legally monitor communications all over the country. Same-sex couples still cannot marry in most of the country, healthcare reform is a bitter battle and, if certain interests have their way, reproductive rights will be set back years. But as noisy rhetoric distracts Americans, the real, dangerous issues go unnoticed.

It sounds awful, but the truth is painful: No matter who wins the election, our civil liberties lose.

a.j. ogundimu l columnist

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innovation

science

by Brodie Gress photo by Samantha Cook

chemists catalyze

Making fuel for the future.

Eventually, someone somewhere will pump the final gallon of gas into his or her vehicle. But petroleum still endures despite the increases in gas prices. While alternative energy sources are proposed by the dozen, two chemistry majors are working to make theirs a viable reality.

“Our end biofuel we’re aiming for is a 2,5-dimethylfuran,” said junior Tyler Lytle. He and junior Ben Fritch are working to tweak their own sets of catalysts, or reacting elements, in hopes of transforming benzaldehyde into benzyl alcohol. If they achieve this, the same catalyst can turn glucose, a sugar found in plants, into dimethylfuran, a cheap form of biofuel. “Our research will help other engineers figure out how to use our results,” said senior Chris Matlak, who previously worked on the project.

Reaching that biofuel takes a lot of time, but Fritch and Lytle work it step by step. They use a Schlenk line, an apparatus used to control chemical reactions, to dissolve the compounds into a liquid. Then they use a neutron magnetic resonance spectroscope to see if the substance can be a catalyst. Often, the results are negative. “You might let it go overnight, and it’ll say you failed,” Fritch said. “You just have to try, try again.”

The project has gotten a lot of attention. Matlak has presented his research on the topic at both UE and Butler conferences. Lytle and Todsapon Thananatthanachon, assistant professor of chemistry and project creator, presented their data at Eli Lilly and Co. in Indianapolis.

Fritch and Lytle’s partnership along with others’ efforts could help change the world of marketable energy, weaning society off of its reliance on fossil fuels. Someone will pump the final gallon of gas eventually. But if Fritch and Lytle continue their work, maybe dimethylfuran will step in and keep the world running.

11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

07

givingback

service

student christian

Fellowship is bringing back the Great Meal Giveaway this month, which allows students to donate extra meals from their meal plans to the United Caring Shelter in Evansville. Students can only donate two meals at a time, but they can do so as many times as they want over the next few weeks, as the Giveaway runs from the end of October through November. “Most of [the students] were really happy to do it,” sophomore Alex Dryer said, “but a lot of them had no idea that the program itself was going on.”

Instead of small trips to prepare and serve food, Sodexo can use its resources to prepare large amounts of meals. After the drive, Sodexo will prepare as many meals as students donate, and SCF will transport the food to the shelter. Last year, SCF set a goal of 150 donated meals but broke it by collecting 162, leaving the shelter with leftover food it could use the next day. This year, SCF hopes to see more students donating their meals. “It’s one step further we can take,” senior Kayla Parshall said. “It gets more students involved because maybe they can’t come to the shelter, but they can donate meals.” Throughout the drive, SCF will use the drive’s Facebook page to update the current meal count.

Parshall said SCF plans to take at least three trips to the shelter in November to prepare and serve dinner. While a variety of students participate, only about five to 10 students go on each trip. While there may not be enough room in the kitchen for many more than that, there is always something more the students can do. “If we have a lot of people, they can go and interact with [the visitors] more, which is great,” Parshall said. “They like to play card games and talk with the people.”

08

by Emily Molli

Satisfying Stomachs

These groups reach the hearts of many by filling hungry stomachs.

lambda chi

Alpha’s annual North American Food Drive, called Brothers Feeding Others, is the nation’s largest single-day college philanthropy. Lambda Chi delivers paper bags donated from local supermarkets to Evansville neighborhoods, where the bags stay for about a week. Then they are collected on a single day — today — and taken to the Ozanam Family Shelter. More than 4,000 pounds of food was collected last year in Evansville, with more than 1.5 million pounds of food collected nationwide.

Because of its past success, SCF plans to expand this project to twice a semester to get even more of a turnout. “I think once we get it back up and running for a couple of years, I’d really like to have the opportunity to give twice a semester,” Dryer said. “We’d like to do it somewhere once around midterm and once around finals.”

members are planning to volunteer Nov. 17 at Sister Joanna’s Table, a soup kitchen run by St. Paul’s Episcopal Church that welcomes the community every Saturday morning. Sister Joanna’s Table opened in 1982 and allows those who volunteer, be they congregation or community members, to talk with those who come to be served. “They have a very devoted congregation,” said senior Emily Wright, Kappa Chi president. “They are passionate in being involved and helping the community.”

Parshall has been taking trips to the shelter since her sophomore year because she enjoys cooking for others, and she admires the attitudes of those who volunteer and those who visit the establishment. “The people that are going there to eat dinner are really great and upbeat, despite their situations,” she said.

Department hosts a canned food drive every year before Thanksgiving. This year, students will collect nonperishable goods Nov. 1–20 in Graves Hall and donate them to the Tri-State Food Bank. “Personally, I have contributed items in the past and find this time of year to be my favorite,” junior Jennifer Murphy said. “Giving, in any way we can as students, to those less fortunate than we are is fulfilling and makes students feel like they are doing more than studying and taking tests.”

Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

kappa chi

physical therapy

11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

09

by Emily Molli photo by Samantha Cook

Courtney’s one word is Spunky when freshman

Courtney Nelson enters a room, people notice. It’s not only her beautiful red hair but also the lively energy she spreads by engaging others.

It’s easy to see her word encompasses all of her personal traits — outgoing, independent, giggly, restless, animated, adventurous and friendly — characteristics that emphasize her daring spirit. “I have willingly been pepper-sprayed, duct-taped to a pole with my feet off the ground, tested a homemade parachute and jumped through a hoop of fire,” she said, “all because I worked them into class projects. My high school now restricts the use of fire in any extra credit videos.” Nelson also recalled the time she left a party to get some fresh air and ended up learning the bongos from a homeless man who did not speak English and the time she and some friends dressed up and held a ninjas versus pirates showdown in downtown Des Moines, Iowa. She is definitely spunky, even without fire hoops and duct tape.

courtney nelson l freshman

10

Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

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11

entertainment

smoke through the water

Oasis Hookah Lounge offers bar-style fun and wild, themed dance parties without the alcohol.

by A.J. Ogundimu photo by Samantha Cook

ask junius jones

what has been the most memorable night since he became manager of Oasis Hookah Lounge, and he’ll answer immediately. “Running around like a crazy person with a Super Soaker full of glow paint.

I’m standing on the subwoofer with a bottle of paint, and people are just like the 300 Spartans, just begging me to throw paint on them,” he said. “It was an awesome night.

Come to think of it, I think I forgot to rinse out that Super Soaker.” And he is not the only one who remembers the paint party. “Some of our freshmen, they went there and came back covered in glow paint,” junior Andrew Beasley said.

Located at 5225 Pearl Drive, Oasis is full of black lights, and there are flecks of paint here and there that glow with the lights on. The effect is somewhere between a club and a basement, with a tiny dance floor and a bunch of tables surrounded by folding chairs. Despite the black lights and dance floor, Oasis is a hookah lounge first and foremost.

For those who do not know, a hookah is a water pipe used for smoking flavored tobacco, and Oasis does not skimp on the flavors. There are 34 premixed ones to choose from, with a few named after cocktails like mojitos, and another 23 flavors you can mix and match. But co-owner Paul Schutte said they cannot sell any food or drink except bottled water, energy drinks and soda, so if you are looking to

12

Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

sip beer all night while you smoke, you may be disappointed. But that does not seem to be a problem for the weekend crowd. The environment is relaxed, young and active, which is fitting considering both owners are under 25 years old. Schutte just turned 20 in June, two months after Oasis opened. His favorite part of the job? “The people,” he said.

“I’ve made lots of friends; we have good groups of people. It’s fun. Plus I get to smoke hookah all day.” The clientele, especially on weeknights, share his laid-back attitude.

“Weekdays are more relaxed, more chill,” he said. “Usually Fridays and Saturdays are pretty packed, and they get packed around 10 p.m.”

Weekends are where the themed parties come in. “We do theme parties every 2–3 weeks,” said Jones, who estimated the number of customers on these nights to be 250–300.

“Our glow paint party, I had to turn people away or else we would have been breaking fire code.” It is not just glow paint either. There have been beach, highlighter, “Revenge of the Nerds” and other themes. Even though it is primarily a hookah lounge, the owners try to provide other activities for patrons besides smoking. “We’re a lot more event-associated,” Schutte said. “We focus on having more events.”

Theme nights begin on Friday, but depending on their popularity, the theme could continue on Saturday night.

The focus on events continues on weekdays. One of the newest events is Monday Funday, an attempt to relieve

“I’ve made lots of friends; we have good groups of people. It’s fun.” some of the boredom and stress of the beginning of the week. “We’re going to start booking events for Mondays to kind of get rid of the idea that Mondays are boring,” Schutte said.

In addition to Monday Funday, there are Tuesday game nights where you can play cornhole, water pong, Xbox Kinect and other favorites. “Depending on the week, we’ll have a DJ or band booked,” Jones said. Thursday is open mic night and Schutte’s favorite weeknight. “Junius usually plays; I’ll get up and play drums,” Schutte said.

Wednesday is karaoke night, Jones’ favorite weekly event and the busiest weeknight. There are not many places in Evansville for students under 21 to sing karaoke. And it is a great opportunity for some embarrassing fun. “We took a bunch of freshmen over to Oasis for karaoke,” Beasley said.

“We just picked the dumbest songs. Like One Direction’s ‘What Makes You Beautiful’; we rocked the house with that one. There were like seven guys up there.”

There is no escaping the collegiate vibe at Oasis. “Monday through Thursday, most of the guests are students,” Jones said, but he clarified that the ratio is still the same on the weekends. Of course, just because the crowd is young and in college does not mean it is not diverse. Schutte has seen people doing homework and playing Magic: The Gathering on weekdays. Weekends are when the full club experience

comes into play. “All the girls like dancing,” Schutte said, “and all the guys like watching the girls dance.”

While Oasis is friendly toward students, it can get pricey on the weekends. The cover charge starts at $5 on Fridays and Saturdays, but on Friday, cover charges can increase as the lounge becomes busier over the course of the evening, to the tune of $10 or more without the cost of a hookah. The cover charge is a sticking point for students like Beasley. “I just think you shouldn’t have to pay cover if that doesn’t go to the price of the hookah.” Schutte said the price only went above $10 once when they were trying to turn people away because of the popularity of the paint party.

But Beasley thinks the hookahs are decently priced. Hookahs are $15 for premixed flavors and $16 for a customized blend of four, with a $1 charge for extra flavors. Oasis also offers a 15 percent student discount, but even then, it could come to $22.75 for just one person to get in and smoke one hookah on a busy Friday. And while the price of the hookah can be split among a few students, each person would still have to pay his or her own cover charge.

Regardless of the price, Oasis offers students something to do besides attending on-campus activities or going to a bar, and that is what Jones loves about his job. “It’s the energy you get from seeing everyone excited,” he said. “Just the idea of something to do in Evansville.”

11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

13

Dance like the stars

Professional dance lessons closer than you think.

I can Rock

the Macarena, I do a mean robot and I am a board-certified Dougie teacher, but that about covers the extent of my dance skill. There are many different formal dances I have no knowledge of. Some are for formal galas, and some are for wild displays of passion. Regardless of the style, dancing requires fluid motion, pinpoint timing and a number of left feet less than two.

With a skilled instructor and the right attitude, dance can be easy to learn. For my instructor, I chose Darrel Sanders of Dance Crafters, located on the corner of Lincoln and Weinbach. Sanders offers private lessons to those who want to get their feet moving, but his specialty lies in teaching couples how to make their first dance look professional.

firsttime

I found the building next to a colorful marquee that promised Sanders would help me “dance like the stars.” As soon as I stepped through the door, I knew I was in for a treat. To my left was a powder-blue Vespa scooter, and to my right were some small potted plants. These lined a small hallway that immediately led downstairs. The dance room had pastel green walls, a low ceiling and a giant mirrored wall that forced me to watch myself dance. I met Sanders there and waited for my mystery partner.

In order to make this a true “first time” experience, I was to dance with a near stranger. For this, we found sophomore Sarah Kessen, a good-natured fellow student who arrived ready to dance. We chose to learn some basic swing-dancing moves. Sanders explained to us that there are many forms of swing, and we would be learning something called singletime swing. The lesson began simply; the steps were side to side, front to back. We learned the difference between open and closed positions, the former consisting of holding hands, and the latter consisting of me holding my partner by the shoulder blade.

But the learning curve was steep, and Kessen and I quickly graduated from basic steps to spin moves.

Sanders explained that the leader — me — would mostly have to hold his hand up and guide the follower, who would do most of the work. We started with an outside turn, which consisted of me spinning my partner away from myself and to her right.

This was followed by an inside turn, where I spun Kessen the other way and switched sides. We then 14

Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

learned the awkwardly named cuddle, where I spun her into me and ended up beside her in a kind of weird hug. Then we learned the hammerlock, which is the opposite of the cuddle, and the pinwheel.

These turns required some coordination, and — though they were nothing compared to my marching-band-geek days spent running around a field with a bass drum on my chest — putting things together with Kessen took effort. There were a few stepped-on toes and a collision here and there, but we laughed off our mistakes and tried again. Eventually we got most of them down.

The pinwheel was our most difficult turn, despite the simplicity of it. It was performed after a hammerlock, in which we ended up facing away from each other, with me holding her left hand behind her back. All we had to do was walk in a circle around each other, staring the other down like lions ready to pounce, but we always got off step or walked in the wrong direction. The end of the step, in which we stepped away from each other and spun back into the open position, gave us some grief. Kessen would step toward me rather than away, or I would forget to step at all. We never quite mastered that move.

Through the experience, Sanders was nothing but helpful. He provided encouragement and cracked a few jokes to make us more relaxed. His instruction was clear, and he did a great job of teaching us the moves while also showing us tricks to improve our steps. In the end, we were able to cobble together some moves at a slow tempo.

Private lessons cost $45 per couple per lesson and are available by calling 812–477–6003 and making an appointment. That may sound expensive, but it is a fraction of the cost of larger studios, and there are special deals available. If multiple couples want to work together, the price can be split between them, and if you book five lessons together, you can get them all for $40 per lesson. Or you can wait for group lessons to start, which will cost about $5–$7 per couple.

Dancing is supposed to be fun. If you do not think you can dance, Sanders offers some encouraging advice: “Anyone can dance if they practice and do the repetition,” he said.

chris norris l reviewer

MONOCLE MONDAY is coming to UE!

If you haven’t picked up your copy of the 2012 LinC, the staff will be passing out yearbooks in Ridgway Center lobby from 5–7 p.m.

Monday, Nov. 5 Monday, Nov. 19 Monday, Dec. 3 or stop by the Student Publications Office, Ridgway, second floor Mon-Thurs: 10 a.m.–5 p.m.

Fri: 10 a.m.–4 p.m.

International Education Week NOvemBer 12–16, 2012 See a full schedule of events at

iew.evansville.edu Includes featured speaker Dan Miller from the Institute for Global Enterprise in Indiana, the Study Abroad Fair, student presentations on study and research abroad, the Jezreel Expedition panel, mini-language and culture lessons, an evening of international poetry, a panel discussion on international internships and the

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Office of Study Abroad | SOBA 261 | studyabroad@evansville.edu 11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

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n e d stu

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O

e x plicit

Oh Fudge.

Those are supposed to be the words that escape the mouth of 9-yearold Ralphie Parker, the memorable main character of the 1983 Christmas classic “A Christmas Story.” But those who have seen the film know Parker says something else while helping his dad change a flat tire. “I said the word, the big one, the queen mother of dirty words,” he says. “The ‘F-dash-dash-dash’ word!”

Like Parker, we learned from an early age that swearwords can get us into trouble, whether that be a bar of soap in the mouth or a seat in the corner. But why are such words viewed as taboo? One reason might be because these “bad” words tend to be related to “bad” subjects, such as sex, bodily functions and sacrilege.

But, if these words are so negatively tagged, why do people swear in the first place? One answer: We are emotionally stressed or in pain.

A 2011 study conducted by Great Britain’s Keele University took a group of volunteers and asked them to submerge their hands in a bucket of ice water for as long as they could. In the first trial,

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Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

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participants could only chant a neutral word, but in the second trial they could be vulgar to their hearts’ content. The results showed that those who were allowed to swear endured the ice water much longer than those who did not.

crease our anger? It’s probably going to increase it,” she said. “If the goal is to get through a situation, maybe swearing is a good, temporary coping mechanism. It’s just not a good releasing mechanism.”

“The more control you have over a situation, the more stress you can handle,” said Lora Becker, associate professor of psychology. “We think, ‘I can hear myself expressing discomfort, so I know it’s OK.’ Swearwords are mini packages of emotion.”

Another reason we may swear is that many of us tend to be rebellious as children and still carry that notion with us into adulthood. Parents strive to keep their children from swearing since they believe it may earn them and their children a negative reputation. Trying to decide the situations where a child should be permitted to curse is hard to do, but when that time comes, there can be some discomfort.

Our emotions can also play a large role in why we swear, and feelings such as anger, fear and frustration are the usual causes. “It releases some of that emotion and calms you down instead of punching the wall and breaking your hand,” said Elizabeth Hennon, associate professor of psychology. “It distracts you from whatever negative thing is going on.”

But Margaret Stevenson, associate professor of psychology, suggested that while swearing may help us express our emotions, it does nothing to relieve them. “Is cursing going to increase or de-

Senior Lindsey Potter was golfing with her parents when she barely missed a putt. And whether it was habit, frustration or a little of both, her response was to say “shit,” and she did. “I wanted to suck the word back inside,” she said.

Like Potter, most people have been taught that saying bad words is not OK, but children can learn from their parents spouting obscenities in moments of frustration. So when children get

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Another answer as to why people swear can be found at a much deeper level — how our brain operates. Becker said the frontal cortex is the planning center of our brains. Among other things, it is saddled with the task of deciding what to say and how to say it. When we are tired or in pain, it can let things slip. “It makes sense that in times of being tired or upset you’ll swear more,” she said. “You don’t see it as much in caffeinated or well-rested people.”

As it turns out, prolific swearing is a key symptom of several frontal cortex disorders in which the brain loses the ability to control motor patterns. This may be another explanation for why public profanity is frowned upon.

z Hensley

rt

by Mindy Ku

Bite Thy Tongue

angry or frustrated, those same responses come out. Hennon said they connect that feeling of rebellion with a feeling of release.

And this notion does not stop after childhood.

“We feel that it’s wrong at our core because we learned at a young age that it was something wrong,” Potter said. “Rebelling makes us feel better. It’s throwing a fit in a grown-up way.”

rds o w o o b a t id d w o H ? r e w o p h c u m o s ld come to ho & Chelsea Modglin

These words were considered curses in their time:

F -BOMB The infamous f-bomb has been around for generations. Here are a few facts about the mother of all curse words:

1300

Strumpet — A prostitute Sodomite — Homosexual male Gog — God

1400

Wretch — An exile Rascal — The rabble of an army Scullion — Peasant

1500

Slangrill — Oaf Brock — Rotten man Punk — A prostitute

1600

Criminy — Christ Gadzooks — God’s hooks Sfoot — To have sex

1700

Deuce — Devil Molly — Homosexual Heck — Hell

422 “Jarhead” (2005) — 278

1800

Jiminy Cricket — Jesus Shucks — Damn Gee whillikins — Jesus

“Reservoir Dogs” (1992) —

1900

Zib — Fool Meddle — To have sex Stem siren — A prostitute

For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge: The acronym was an etymological rumor trying to pinpoint the origin of the word. Even though this isn’t true, the band Van Halen used it to name its 1991 album. billboard.com

FILM USAGE: Popular films often turn to the f-word to make scenes more intense and to make drinking games more effective. But do some take it too far? Here are the number of times a few popular films put the f-bomb to use: “Casino” (1995) —

265 272 “Scarface” (1983) — 226 “Pulp Fiction” (1994) —

But none of those hold a candle to the film “Gutterballs” (2008), which uses it times in 96 minutes — that’s at least six times a minute.

625

IMDb.com 11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

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“We have a social expectation that a logical, reasoning person wanting to affect change while remaining in control of him- or herself won’t resort to swearing,” Becker said.“You realize you are perceived differently if you control your language.”

But for most people, that control only extends to bosses and professional people. In other words, there is an established group of people that one can swear around and let off steam in front of without fear of negative judgment.

“I think it’s a comfort thing,” Potter said. “It takes the conversation to a casual level, but I don’t feel like swearing is always necessary in conversation. I consider them just other words. They are descriptive and powerful. They’re more vocabulary to use.”

But for others, controlling the urge to swear is as necessary and natural as personal hygiene. “I’ve never really felt the urge to do it,” junior Kristen Sholander said. “It doesn’t matter what word it necessarily is, but what people associate with it.”

While it still bothers a lot of people, the use of profanity in public has become more accepted in our society. Many people do not hesitate to let loose. But with this acceptance comes a level of numbness to the words that are our pressure release. The Keele study also took into account how commonly the participants swore before they dunked their hands into the ice water. The results found that people who did not swear regularly could hold their hands in the ice water for 140 seconds when they swore, twice as long as their first attempt.

But people who usually swore about 60 times a day could only hold their hands in the water for 120 seconds when they used foul language — the same amount of time as their first attempt.

“By making cussing more common, you’re also making it less effective,” Hennon said. “If you use it all the time, you’re not going to get that same emotional release.”

No matter if people have yet to verbally slip up or if they curse like sailors, swearwords are a part of our lives, and, in some instances, they can do us a bit of good. But no matter how integrated these words become, they are still words, and one can use them for good or bad purposes. “I think your words are a reflection of your character,” Sholander said. “I try to make sure my words reflect who I am.”

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Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

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fitness

& health

by Alexandra Wade

catching some z’s Sleep is more important than you may think.

in college,

getting enough sleep can seem like a fantasy when there are classes, activities and a social life to balance. But recent studies have shown that too little or too much sleep can affect weight, memory, concentration and stress levels, making getting a full night’s rest even more critical.

In a study done at New York University, it was found that sleeping less than eight hours a night could unbalance hormones. This puts the body in a false state of hunger, leading to overeating. The University of Chicago added that participants’ desire for calorie-dense foods increased by 45 percent when sleep-deprived. Lack of sleep also adversely affects memory and concentration.

“If you’re not sleeping, you’re not allowing the body to rest and recover.”

But a study from the president-elect of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine showed sleeping more than nine hours could cause weight gain, so trying to overcompensate for lost hours on weekends or with power naps during the week are not the best ideas either. Though these effects of sleep deprivation are affirmed, the direct correlation is still a new theory.

Experts say the best way to avoid unhealthy sleep patterns is to develop a good sleep schedule. Not smoking can help you have a better night’s sleep, as well as having a bedtime routine and sleeping on a comfortable bed in a dark, quiet and cool room. Also, the bedroom should only be used for sleeping and sex.

Many people read, watch television or work on their computers in bed, turning the bed into a nonrestful place.

“When you sleep normally, it allows the body to rest. If you’re not sleeping, you’re not allowing the body to rest and recover,” said Joan Fedor-Bassemier, assistant professor of nursing. For college students, the National Sleep Foundation recommends seven to nine hours of sleep per night.

Even though both undersleeping and oversleeping could be harmful in terms of weight gain, as well as memory and concentration, getting enough sleep is what most college students need to worry about. Chair Amy Hall, professor of nursing, said when she sees students who are struggling in classes, she asks if they are getting enough sleep.

Usually, once they get themselves into a healthy routine of sleep and exercise, stress and grades take care of themselves. “People have not made sleep as much of a priority,” Hall said. “I think sleep is really important. You just have to sleep.”

11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

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monday is here again.

people

fascinating

While many students go through the ritualistic motions of slamming the snooze button on their alarm clocks multiple times, junior Ryan Bassemier does not waste one minute of his day. By the time others crawl out of bed, barely making it to their first class, Bassemier has already been to the gym, eaten a healthy breakfast and made it to campus, where he is preparing for class or collaborating with members of SGA. “Ryan doesn’t sleep a lot,” junior Beth Peterson said. “He’s on campus 12 or 13 hours a day, yet he still has better time management than me.” And he is definitely busy. Bassemier was named Student Congress enhancement chair this semester, a new position aimed at bettering UE. He is also a DJ for WUEV, the owner of a web site called The Perfect Voice Over and

next top model Modesty, as they say, is a virtue, but Ryan Bassemier has quite a few reasons to boast.

by Jessica Ingle photo by Samantha Cook

“

I honestly never would have done it myself. I’m outgoing, but I’m not that outgoing.”

— possibly his most renowned job — a budding male model. With all of these responsibilities, Bassemier exemplifies ambition and determination.

“Ryan’s a very good guy to know,” senior Michael Armanno said. “He draws people in to what he’s doing, and you can feel his energy.”

As a communication major with an emphasis in advertising and public relations major, Bassemier knows how to interact successfully with others in his field. “He can complement his modeling and his voice-over talents with his academics,” Armanno said. Having been signed with the Cosmo Model & Talent Agency in Louisville, Ky., Bassemier already has prospects even before graduation. “He’s really driven, and he really likes it,” Peterson said.

“He’s getting his name out there.”

Bassemier is new to the profession, but hopes to be signed with a prominent agency like Next Model Management or Ford Models. “I hope to make a career out of modeling,” he said. “I honestly never would have done it myself. I’m outgoing, but I’m not that outgoing.” If it were not for friends and family, Bassemier said he would have never considered modeling a viable option. They encouraged him to take the chance, and now he loves everything about the job. “I definitely supported him,” Peterson said, “but it was his decision to go through with it. He’s pretty independent.” Bassemier is meticulous and knows exactly what he wants. He says he would love to have a career solely in modeling, but in case that does not happen, he is looking into graduate school.

Bassemier’s web site is dedicated to providing quality voice-overs for a variety of mediums, from commercials to audiobooks, and is a project he was encouraged by friends and family to launch. He cleaned out one of his supply closets in his apartment to create a sound booth. When people ask him where he works, Bassemier is not afraid to tell them he works from his closet. So far, this method has worked perfectly for him, but it consumes

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Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

“He’s a good-looking guy, and he can sell a suit.” time. “During school I have to back off a little bit because I have enough on my plate,” he said.

the last time he ate a hamburger, but his guilty pleasure is Dunkin’ Donuts’ coffee.

Armanno works closely with Bassemier at WUEV, AcesTV and Tien Son Custom Tailored Suits.

“We grow together,” Armanno said. “It’s a really great relationship.” The two record voice-overs for WUEV, and Armanno volunteers his voice for The Perfect Voice Over when Bassemier needs an extra one. In turn, Bassemier models Tien Son’s suits for Armanno. “He’s a good-looking guy,” he said, “and he can sell a suit.”

Bassemier stresses the falseness of stereotypes placed on models. No one he has worked with has been snobby or uptight, though agencies can be intimidating. “They have the emotional presence of Simon Cowell,” he said.

Though modeling has encouraged Bassemier to maintain a healthy lifestyle, he has always been conscious of the need to stay in shape. “I’ve had a personal trainer since third grade,” he said. “I’m a health nut — not a vegetarian or anything like that like. I have a pretty bland diet.” Bassemier goes to the gym regularly and is also a runner.

He does not drink soda and cannot remember

Along with his success off campus, Bassemier is also making a difference at UE. As enhancement chair, he proposed the UE Green Project, a recycling program aimed at incorporating recycling in students’ daily lives. “I want to increase student participation,” he said. “We’re still in the early workings, but we’re looking to make some good progress in the future.” To begin, he is requesting small changes, such as purchasing more recycling bins and placing them next to trashcans so students do not have to consciously make the choice to recycle. Bassemier also plans to fix

the route in which recycling is collected around campus. Instead of going to the buildings with the most recycling and moving sporadically from there, a straight, concise route would save time and energy.

Recycling, of course, is only the beginning. As the year continues, Bassemier plans to do more to get students to genuinely care about recycling, but he also has several other ideas in the works. “I have a pretty broad area to work with,” he said. “Even after my office hours, I’m always researching new things.”

While it is obvious Bassemier is already accomplishing more than many others do, he never thinks himself superior to his colleagues and peers. For the most part, he considers his own life unremarkable, which makes his presence all the more striking. “I don’t live a crazy life,” he said. “I’m a pretty simple, down-to-earth guy.”

11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

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THOSE LEFT 22

Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

Suicide victims are not the only ones who suffer.

by Jessica Ingle & Jamelyn Wheeler

EVERY 40

seconds someone in the world commits suicide. Every 41 seconds someone is left behind to make sense of it. And for those dealing with the aftermath of suicide, emotions run high. There is an overwhelming feeling of helplessness that clouds the mind, making it difficult to get up and continue with life. Suicide affects everyone, not only the person who commits the act. The ones left behind must then pick up the pieces and try to fit them back together. They are the ones who suffer. They are the survivors of suicide loss.

Though many people believe suicide does not outwardly affect them and is encountered only in movies or books, it is actually an issue that needs addressing in every community. Of the 376 entering students who took the UE freshman survey this school year, 20 percent indicated that they had, at some point in their lives, pursued counseling for depression, anxiety or other mental health issues, while 18 percent said they had seriously thought about killing themselves, and 4.5 percent admitted they had attempted suicide.

“The number is startling every year,” said Jessica Zellers, health education and wellness programs coordinator. The statistics for suicide have stayed fairly consistent over the last three years, but they do not include freshmen who did not take the survey or students who may not report problems that require genuine attention.

Even without these variables, it is alarming that so many people have entertained the thought of killing themselves and, in turn, harming the entire community they would leave behind.

Zellers’ hope is that Counseling Services is able

to prevent suicidal ideation long before the act takes place — and long before survivors of such loss are left to wonder why. She said she rarely sees signs of suicidal contemplation without a background of extreme depression.

Issues such as substance abuse, relationship troubles and financial problems can contribute to depression. In fact, according to the Southwestern Indiana Suicide Prevention Coalition, 90 percent of suicides are the results of psychiatric illness. Zellers emphasizes that if someone thinks friends or coworkers may have problems, they must be asked if they have contemplated hurting themselves. “We should not be afraid to ask the question,” she said. “We tiptoe around it.

You have to ask.”

Patty Jacobs, peer facilitator for Methodist Temple’s Survivors of Suicide group and suicide survivor, agrees and believes every person, at some point in life, should take a class that teaches how to spot a potential suicide risk. A method called QPR — question, persuade, refer — breaks down each step into manageable tasks.

As Zellers said, the first step is calling attention to the problem by not being afraid to ask the all-important question. If the answer to that question is yes, persuading the person to seek professional help is next. Refering the person and helping them find a doctor or therapist who specializes in this particular field could be life saving. “When someone needs help, do something,” Zellers said. “We have a responsibility for ourselves but for our community as well.”

This does not mean every friend or family member should be closely monitored for warning

signs, but being aware when subtle changes affect a person’s routine can do nothing but help should that person require support.

Though Zellers and Jacobs wish every suicide could be prevented, the statistics do not support this vision. According to the SISPC, 87 people commit suicide every day in the United States. At the same time, 87 families and communities lose a loved one, often without any warning. “There’s a lot of fear that comes with suicide,” said senior Natalie Rich, whose friend commited suicide. “You have to come to terms with not knowing why it happened.”

Whether a person has been a survivor for six months or six years, there is an alienation that comes with it. Emotions are often times uncontrollable, intense and impossible to explain to those who have never encountered suicide personally. The grieving process has no time limit — the last advice a survivor wants to hear is to move on. “No feeling at that time is wrong,” said senior Rosa Palmeri, who shared in Rich’s loss as well. “It’s important that you process it emotionally.”

Not all survivors grieve in the same manner.

When a traumatic event occurs, people use their own coping mechanisms to help them through the difficult time. As long as these methods do not adversely affect a person’s daily activities, Rich and Palmeri see grieving as an important part of dealing with the aftermath of a suicide.

“It’s easy to get inside your head and worry,” Rich said. “I’d have an excuse not to do things, but you will find things to bring you joy again.”

Simple activities such as taking a walk, riding a

Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15–24 year olds.

Southwestern Healthcare Suicide Prevention Hotline: 812–422–1100 • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800–273–8255

LOCAL EVENTS

In the U.S., an average of

More than

Nov. 17 • 12:30 p.m.

die by suicide daily.

of all suicides are related to a mood disorder or other psychiatric illness.

National Survivors of Suicide Day Mental Health America of Vanderburgh County • 410 Mulberry St. Preregister: 812–426–2640 or mentalhealth@sigecom.net

Survivors of Suicide Support Group Meetings: Monthly, first and third Monday • 6:30–8 p.m.

Methodist Temple • 2109 Lincoln 812–476–1306

87 PEOPLE

90 PERCENT

In the U.S.,

50 PERCENT

more people die by suicide than by homicide.

Males commit suicide at

4 TIMES the rate of females.

Southwestern Indiana Suicide Prevention Coalition 11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

23

bike or taking the time to talk through issues pushes people outside their heads and away from negative, spiraling thoughts.

ostracized and unable to relate to others and may believe they are in this alone, support is readily available to assist in self-care.

Jacobs stresses that survivors will not transition back into the lives they once lived because after a suicide, a survivor becomes somewhat of a different person. “It feels like your mind is going a thousand miles a minute,” she said. “You just feel like you can’t take another breath.”

UE currently offers three full-time licensed clinical social workers, with one on call 24 hours a day. If an emergency occurs, students can contact their resident assistant or Safety & Security, connecting them to the counselor on call. “The counselors have a way of making you feel normal,” Rich said. “They tell you everything you’re feeling is exactly how you should be feeling.”

The grief a person feels never leaves, even years after. It merely changes from an all-consuming emotion to a grief that can be handled on a daily basis. “Grief is a burden to carry, but we get stronger in coping with it,” Zellers said. The hope is that survivors can take the pain they feel and turn it into something active by being open to talk about the issue of suicide.

For Zellers, a crucial aspect of the grieving process is the need for self-care. There is no need to rush back into class or work as if the incident did not even happen. “Let yourself slow down, and just let it be,” Palmeri said.

Palmeri also recommends doing all the basics to keep busy, but not undertaking anything overwhelming. Though those left behind may feel

Having counseling of this caliber is a luxury for a school this size. “Not everyone has that,” Rich said. “Having a support system is very important in the grieving process.” When alone, it is easy for survivors to blame themselves for the death of a loved one. They wonder if they should have said or done something different. Rich warns against this way of thinking. Those thoughts will contribute nothing to the healing process; they only further the pain.

Zellers hopes, if nothing else, her services will embed a simple philosophy into survivors’ minds: It is not your fault. Speaking of suicide has been taboo; many think calling attention to suicide will only increase the numbers. “It

doesn’t work that way,” she said. “Usually, people are waiting for someone to notice.”

Zellers, Jacobs, Rich and Palmeri all support the notion of informing the public about the real and devastating effects suicide has on thousands around the world. The more knowledgeable people are, the more aware they will be.

The more aware people are, the more suicides will be prevented.

As a culture, the U.S. has become desensitized by violence and death — the concept is everywhere, but it is often impersonal. When it does happen, people do not know how to handle it. “Fear is huge,” Rich said. “It’s really important to face those fears. The more you fear, the less you’re going to live. Conquer it and move on with your life.”

Fear and unease are not legitimate reasons to not talk about suicide. It must be discussed before it can be stopped. Suicide is 100 percent preventable, and the fight to end this tragedy is not hopeless. For those struggling to make it through the day after a loved one dies, there are people to turn to — counselors, family, friends and the community. “There is a life after suicide,” Jacobs said. “It’s just not the same life.”

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Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

Renting books in the spring?

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Q: A:

q&a

interview Your position is not one students know much about. What exactly do you do at UE? I am employed by Sodexo to manage the service contract between Sodexo and UE. I usually look for the menu and the quality in Cafe Court — what are we using and how are we cooking it. Is there a line? Why? Can it be shorter? Just an overall execution of the meal. And then there’s the management side of it too, but it’s more of paperwork and finances.

Students only have the options of Cafe Court, Ace’s Place and Jazzman’s Cafe — all run by Sodexo — while schools like USI have additions like Starbucks to their campuses. Why is this?

A:

Probably just because of our size. The one time I tried dealing with Starbucks at another school, they had a set number of potential customers and expected foot traffic. Another company hasn’t tried to come here since I’ve been here, which is about four years now.

Q:

Now that Spudz-N-Stuff no longer accepts flex, have you found any other places that would cut a deal with Sodexo?

A:

I’ve tried several places, but with no luck. I tried Lincoln Garden a year ago, and they refused to work with us. But the owner came to me last week and said, “Well, I’d like to talk about it again,” so that’s a possibility. There have been other places that I’ve tried to talk to who just haven’t been interested for whatever reason, like us setting up a register with them and sending employees over there.

6 Questions

Q:

Weekend meals are infamous among many students as a time when Sodexo really doesn’t want us to eat on campus. What do you think about this?

Sodexo General Manager Dan McLain

A:

Crescent Magazine sat down with the food service director to get some answers to a few questions.

Q:

Samantha Cook/Crescent Magazine

Q:

I wouldn’t say the quality diminishes, but the offerings are reduced. So perception may be some of the reality.

Some students question the quality of the food purchased.

Where does Sodexo’s food come from?

A:

We buy it from different places. More common brand names such as Pepsi comes from Pepsi, Coke comes from Coke. Our main distributor is Cisco; we get a lot of products from them.

We get as much as we can locally. Some months we get a lot more depending on what’s in season. Prairie Farms Dairy is where the milk comes from, which comes from local places.

We do buy from Fischer Farms in Jasper; we get beef and pork products from them at certain times.

Q:

Why do students constantly have to go through Sodexo if they want to have a bake sale or food at a campus event?

A:

It’s mostly for insurance and safety — are you cooking the food correctly, using safe ingredients or facilities to cook it in.

Even if students bring food in pre-prepared, it is for safety.

11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

25

Center for Career Development is making a difference in students lives.

eading eadinG the way

by Amy Reinhart & Joshua Best

“What’s your major?”

It seems as soon as college preparation begins, everyone expects students to know exactly what they want to be and how they plan to get there. But what many do not understand is not everyone starts college with a major, and those who do often need help with career preparation. Students have varied interests and may be unsure of which direction to take. Students of all years in school, whether they have well-defined career goals or not, can benefit from the services of the Center for Career Development.

Sophomore Kate Sherwood remembers not knowing what to major in. As a freshman, she had a list of possible majors but no idea what career to pursue.

It was not until this year that she decided to change that. Desperate for help, she turned to her adviser, who encouraged her to go to the CCD to discuss her options. Looking back, Sherwood said she was nervous about visiting the office, but the outcome was worth it. She took the “Do What You Are Interest Assessment,” a survey that helps identify strengths, skills and personality type.

Students can use the results to narrow their options and choose a major that best suits them, even if they thought they already knew what they wanted to do.

In Sherwood’s case, the assessment helped her discover her businesslike traits and desire to work with others. She shortened her list by eliminating majors that would not work for her. After becoming aware of her skills, Sherwood is leaning toward accounting. She recommends taking the assessment, especially to those students who are unsure about their major or career options.

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Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

“I think when you’re 18 and graduating high school, you can’t decide what you want to do for the rest of your life,” Sherwood said. “You might as well see what you’re capable of and what you’re good at and make a good decision.”

Gene Wells, Career Development director, said he wished more students would also take advantage of the Major Discovery Program. Because students’ ideas of what they want to do evolve, he said it is important for students to find out what they want to do as soon as they enter UE. “Too many students come in with the notion they’re going to be a physical therapist, physician or attorney,” Wells said. “I really want students to feel like they’re in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time.”

Students can also get a jump on their career plans with the Advanced Career Education Certificate program. The program has three parts: self-evaluation, communication and image, and engagement and connection. Some students may have already completed parts of the program, such as drafting a resume and completing mock interviews, without realizing it. Dianna Cundiff, Career Development assistant director, said the certificate focuses on honing skills that benefit students in and out of the workplace, such as verbal and written communication. She said the goal is to help students market their personal brand and say what distinguishes them from others.

Although students may have ideas about what they want to do, where they can do it is another issue. But experiential education, such as internships, clinicals and student teaching, can help students get there. As a math major, senior Michael Huff is not required to participate in experiential education, but Wells encouraged him to do a cooperative opportunity — a co-op — which allows students to gain real-world experience in their field of study. Students rotate semesters between working for an employer and studying on campus.

With his co-op, Huff combined his major and business minor by working last fall at SABIC Innovative Plastics in Mount Vernon, Ind. Huff was assigned an entry-level position in the company’s accounting department and said he learned not only about cost accounting, but also about office etiquette, teambuilding and bosses’ expectations. “If I hadn’t worked there, I wouldn’t have knowledge of how office jobs work,” he said. “It was an eye-opening experience.”

The experience also taught Huff the importance of getting one’s name out to employers. He was called back to work by SABIC last summer and hopes to be hired full time after graduation. He recommends students do a co-op or internship. “You can’t get a job if you don’t have experience, but you can’t get experience if you don’t have a job,” Huff said. “If you do have the opportunity, you need to take advantage of it.”

SABIC was not Huff’s first choice for the co-op. After searching on UE JobLink, a CCD online resource that allows you to post your resume and look for jobs, coops and internships, Huff applied to American General and Mead Johnson, but neither showed interest. After reviewing his resume with Wells, he attended UE’s Career Day, hosted by the CCD each February, and spoke with a SABIC recruiter. But he was still on the fence about doing a co-op since it would push him back a semester. Looking back, Huff said the extra semester was worth it. “It gave me the opportunity to put my foot in the door at a big company that cares about its employees,” he said.

Although the CCD helps students with co-op and internship opportunities, it also helps with graduate school. Its services include assisting with applications and entrance exams. One student who sought help is graduate student Susan McKinley, who is working toward her doctorate in physical therapy. Knowing she wants to continue her 11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

27

studies she applied to Johns Hopkins where she hopes to be accepted for a clinical neurologic residency and a postdoctorate in physical therapy. McKinley does not know if she will be accepted, but with an interview scheduled for spring 2013, she is optimistic. While Johns Hopkins accepts less than 20 percent of applicants, McKinley took a gamble. “If you want to go to a Top 10 place, apply,” she said. “The worst that can happen is they will say no.”

Applying to graduate school is not easy, and McKinley was not shy about seeking advice. She first spoke with Chair Mary Kessler, associate professor of physical therapy, about what she needed to do, and Kessler referred her to Wells, who helped her create a resume and career statement that would make her stand out.

McKinley is one of the many students who do not take advantage of what the CCD has to offer until late in their academic careers. But before finally speaking with Wells, McKinley did take her career into her own hands. She signed up for UE JobLink last summer and is in the process of joining LinkedIn. She has attended four career fairs and gathered information from recruiters, and will hand out resumes this year. “It was beneficial that I went to the career fair, regardless of how active I was,” McKinley said.

“This year will be more serious. It takes on a different meaning.”

Besides applying for a postdoctorate, McKinley wishes she had done more earlier, such as picking up the CCD checklist as a freshman and competing mock interviews. Most importantly, she learned that being different is good when it comes to a career. “Everyone has something to offer when it comes to your job search,” she said. “You just have to find a way to make yourself stand out.”

Making students stand out is one thing the CCD prides itself on. Linda Wulf, Career Development assistant director, said students must be proactive in their career plans and know what to expect in the work environment. “You want to have everything that it takes to be competitive,” Wulf said. “We hope that our students can go in with what an employer is looking for.”

No matter what students pursue, Wulf said she wants students to enjoy it. “My hope and my dream is that they love what they do every day,” she said. “It may take a little time, but that’s the ultimate satisfaction.”

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Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

throughthelens

photos

by Samantha Cook photos by Jessica Crihfield-Taylor

big men

Strutting for the cure.

A Night of

bare chests, bulging muscles and dance moves reminiscent of “Magic Mike” that benefits a good cause? Sounds good. Zeta Tau Alpha’s 30th annual “Big Man on Campus,” a philanthropy event raising money for breast cancer awareness, featured 13 contestants who sang, performed death-defying stunts and ripped off their shirts as they competed for the BMOC title. The men did their best runway walk, showcased talents as varied as swallowing and then regurgitating razors and performing “Gangnam Style,” and then answered questions about breast cancer. Freshman Cameron Wickes was named Mr. Think-Pink, and senior Brock Reneer was declared Big Man on Campus.

“So that’s what they’re doing in the new practice facility!”

[Removing his safety goggles and shooting his best sultry look is all it takes for senior Jamison Heard to sway the audience and judges in his favor.]

[After ripping off his shirt and flexing his muscles, senior Alex Gregurich entices his fans with his charm in hopes of impressing the judges.]

[There are many superpowers in the world, but senior Scott Hamilton shows the audience that all he would wish for would be the ability to fly.]

[Who knew boobs could be so poetic? Freshman Cameron Wickes recites his ode to boobs and the fight against breast cancer during the talent round.]

11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

29

campus crime The following information was compiled from criminal offense reports filed Sept. 26–Oct. 16 in Safety & Security.

Oct. 15 — Bicycle stolen from the Moore Hall bike rack. Loss reported at $30.

ABSTRACT technology group “Your Computer Repair Specialist”

Oct. 14 — Laptop stolen from a Sigma Phi Epsilon house room. Loss reported at $1,737.99.

Oct. 13 — Three unauthorized males tried to gain entry into Moore Hall, the Sigma Alpha Epsilon house and other campus property. One suspect apprehended by Evansville Police.

Oct. 11 — Cash and credit cards stolen from two offices in Koch Center. Loss reported at $50.

Oct. 10 — A wallet and cell phone stolen from a backpack left unattended in BowerSuhrheinrich Library. Loss reported at $141.

— Windows broken in the front part of the Armory building. Loss not reported.

— Credit cards stolen from an office and a purse in Graves Hall. Loss not reported.

Oct. 8 — A money machine in the Weinbach apartments laundry room broken into and its contents stolen. Loss reported at $700.

Sept. 27 — An unauthorized student found in a Safety & Security vehicle. Referred to the vice president for Student Affairs for disciplinary action.

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Grand

Champion

dormstorm

by Cory Hart photo by Samantha Cook

is a normal part of childhood. Thinking back, many people may remember hearing about teddy bears, favorite toys, baseball card collections and souvenirs from summer vacations. For sophomore Nicole Ivanovic, a classmate’s presentation about horseback riding sparked a lifelong passion.

During summers, the Fort Wayne, Ind., native rides her horse and participates in hunter jumper competitions throughout the Midwest and Kentucky. Ivanovic said she only competes during the summer because she does want competitions to conflict with her schoolwork. She and her horse, Lexy, have been successful, snagging all the grand champion titles in the competitions they participated in this summer.

When the exercise science and pre-physical therapy major was a child, Ivanovic’s parents made sure she was involved in activities. She participated in gymnastics and played soccer and piano. But since the age of 5, her life has revolved around horseback riding. And when Ivanovic entered high school, her parents realized she was going to stick with riding and bought her a horse of her own, a Danish Warmblood. “[It] is her life, and she loves it so much,” said her roommate, sophomore Katie Prosser.

A British style of showing horses, hunter jumper is a form of riding that is different from its Western counterpart and includes more formal dress during competitions. Instead of barrel races and the like, Ivanovic and her Danish Warmblood do fence jumping. She said the judges critique both the horse and the rider. “It is important for us both to be performing our best,” she said.

Show and Tell

Ivanovic is also invested in her major. While she has always loved sports, a cross-country knee injury in high school and subsequent physical therapy influenced her to pursue her major. Ivanovic likes to help people, and she feels that physical therapy has good job security.

Ivanovic left her prized horse at home when she originally entered UE because she said the stables in Evansville are different, and she was not sure she would have the proper amount of time to care for Lexy. Ivanovic was also concerned about the more Western style of riding in Evansville, which is the opposite of what she does.

But she found Signal Knob Equestrian Center, a local stable with a trainer who had been to the same competitions as Ivanovic and understood her discipline. Ivanovic now rides another horse at Signal Knob about twice a week.

While many people get homesick and greatly miss their families at certain times during the year, Ivanovic said that really does not apply to her. “I just miss my horse,” she said. “People don’t understand that having a horse is like having a pet. You have to take care of it; it’s like your best friend.”

When Ivanovic is not riding or concentrating on schoolwork, she loves to spend time with her Zeta Tau Alpha sisters. Recently, some of them spent time watching her ride, and she enjoyed sharing that with them. Junior Rachel Kohout was impressed. “She knows what she is doing, so I wasn’t nervous about it,” she said. “Everything she does, she doesn’t half anything.”

Despite life’s many demands, Ivanovic manages to find a balance. For her, riding is not an option, but a necessity. “If I don’t have time to go riding, then I know I’m too busy,” she said.

11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

31

overtime

sports

mr. ambassador

This senior shooting guard is a leader on and off the court.

by Jamelyn Wheeler photos by Samantha Cook 32

Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

guard colt ryan

does much more than just talk a good game. While most know he is a dominant force on the basketball court, off the court he has put his values into action, helping the community grow stronger and healthier through his genuine regard for others. “He’s very balanced,” coach Marty Simmons said. “He’s very focused. He wants to be successful at anything he does.”

During his time at UE, Ryan has built friendships and earned the respect of his peers and teammates.

He is a leader — academically, athletically and socially. And most importantly, Ryan leads by example, serving as a model for other students and athletes. He makes community involvement a priority, giving his time and energy to others and acting as an ambassador for UE and its basketball program. He received the MVC Good Neighbor Award last year, an award that recognizes student-athletes who demonstrate exceptional sportsmanship and community service. He has volunteered for events such as the Special Olympics, which offers those with intellectual disabilities the opportunity to compete in athletic events, and the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, which raises funds and awareness for the fight against breast cancer. “We feel honored to volunteer [at the Komen Race],” Ryan said. “It’s for such a great cause.”

Ryan has also spent time volunteering with children, and seeing the smiles on their faces has a humbling effect. He recalls childhood memories of meeting athletes whom he had seen on television and remembers how much those encounters meant to him. Now he is able to help make those memories for others. Ryan has been playing basketball since second grade and remembers playing with his siblings using miniature baskets. “I’ve been playing [basketball] for so long,” Ryan said. “It’s been something I can monitor my achievements in. I can set goals for myself.”

Now, years later, Ryan boasts a long list of achievements, but perhaps his greatest attribute is his confidence — and it is not by chance. He works hard every day, allowing for a certainty in himself and his play. He has had to sacrifice a lot for basketball — time, hobbies, unhealthy foods and hanging out with friends — but he was more than willing to give up those things for the opportunity to do something special. His work and sacrifice may culminate in the chance to play not only for an MVC championship, but more later on. “I’ve talked to coaches,” Ryan said, “and they feel like if I have a good year there will be chances for me to play either overseas or in the States. So I’m trying to pursue those dreams.”

Ryan’s strong will and work ethic are not confined to the court. He was named the 2012 MVC ScholarAthlete of the Year, proof of his commitment to his education. “[Basketball] has made me very driven,” Ryan said. “Even since I was younger I’ve always wanted to be the best. And that carries over, not only in athletics, but in academics.” It takes a lot to succeed as a student-athlete, a job loaded with pressures and time commitments, but Ryan says preparation and attendance are key.

Beyond winning and losing, Ryan attempts to show sportsmanship and always remain collected after a loss. Though emotions get the best of him at times, he uses his negative emotions as a driving force.

“When he does lose,” senior Ned Cox said, “it’s something that burns inside of him to not let it happen again.” Along with determination, Ryan has a lighthearted manner that keeps the team energized.

Clowning around brings positive energy to the players and keeps them relaxed. “He knows when to be goofy,” Cox said, “and when to turn it off and be serious.”

Ryan’s success comes from a true passion for the sport. He has earned the respect of his teammates through his hard work and by never complaining or cutting corners. He does his job with focus, determination and a sense of the team over himself, playing for the name on the front of his jersey rather than the one on the back. He always keeps his priorities in mind — God, family and basketball — and allows his principles to guide his actions. He has made lifelong friends in his teammates and has given as much as he has received.

Just as he has influenced those around him, Ryan has grown and changed during his time as a student.

From a freshman wondering what major to choose to a senior staring down his future with open arms and a confident smile, he has grown stronger and ready to face whatever awaits him. And even when he has moved on, his legacy will remain. “People will remember him as a well-rounded person who was a terrific role model for young kids and an ambassador for the University of Evansville,” Simmons said, “and yet also a great basketball player.”

11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

33

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34

Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

I AM

authentic

when it comes

to being nontraditional, Jerrilee LaMar, assistant professor of nursing, defines the word. She dropped out of high school when she was a freshman and started a horse-and-carriage business in New Harmony, Ind. While working there, she met a girl who had leukemia and a brain tumor. “It was a calling — just a God thing,” LaMar said. “I felt like maybe I should do something a little more meaningful with my life.” In her 30s, LaMar pursued this goal by getting her GED and then attending USI for her degree in nursing, UE for her master’s degree, and Indiana State for her doctorate.

When Lamar came to UE to teach, she and her husband decided to start living more self-sufficiently after she taught a course on conscious consumerism. “I developed one of the [First-Year Seminar courses], and it was about doing more with less,” she said. LaMar and her husband have a large garden, an orchard, goats, bees, chickens, ducks, a goose and other animals. They eat the food they produce, including milk, cheese, butter, beer, wine and honey. She also often shares the all-natural lifestyle with her students, bringing in brownies and other baked goods made with her own goats’ milk.

acloserlook

by Alexandra Wade photo by Samantha Cook

UE’s coordinator for a CPR training study, she was chosen to be part of the National League of Nursing’s Scholarly Writing Retreat.

LaMar also uses honey and goats’ milk to make soaps, which she sells at farmers’ markets and online. But harvesting the honey can be a challenge because LaMar is highly allergic to bee venom. She said you have to harvest honey at the right time of day and be aware of bees’ sensitivities to scent, wind and heat. She does not fear the bees; she just carries an EpiPen with her and wears the sting-proof bee suit her children gave her.

LaMar has many more unique hobbies, including shooting cap-andball-style guns and painting. Even though these activities are different from her day job, she said she uses the same basic set of skills, whether caring for a patient, helping a student or creating a painting. “To be a good nurse, you have to be a good critical thinker and creative, and I think I’m able to apply that in my everyday life,” LaMar said.

No matter what she does, LaMar has a track record of success. Her paintings have been displayed at the Evansville Museum: Arts • History • Science, and she once beat 22 men in a shooting contest, some of whom were national shooters. When it comes to nursing, she was honored in May by the Red Cross with a Heroes Award for helping a man in cardiac arrest. When no one else would, LaMar rushed the man to the hospital and sat with his wife while he was in surgery.

No matter the subject, her triumphs seem to come from the passion with which she pursues everything, especially her job. “I chose to come [to UE] because of the people and the culture,” LaMar said. “I love it here, and I love my students.”

11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

35

offthewall

Each year the well-loved theme park Disneyland uses more than 5,000 gallons of paint to maintain the clean appearance of the park.

WhoKnew?

dotm gotta get it A zombie apocalypse is not a question of if, but when. And when it happens, you need to be ready with an AK-47 rifle with an attached chainsaw. According to thisiswhyimbroke. com, the item is custom-built by Doublestar Corp., which has a shopping list of weaponry from rifles to combat pistols that all come with the company’s insignia. If the chainsaw is a bit too much for you, there is also a monster of a gun named the Zombie Slayer, complete with a fitted 14.5-inch barrel and a Marine Corps Diamond Steel bayonet. Once you make your purchase, you can add features like a chrome-lined barrel or hammer stock that are, in a word, badass. Then you are ready to take on any zombie that comes your way, be it a garden-variety zombie, a moan-and-shuffle-at-you zombie or one pulled straight from the screen of a “Left 4 Dead” video game. Although these weapons are not yet for sale, they will cost upwards of $1,200. Bring on the zombies.

heard it here

“You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.”

tidbits & assets

— Jack Black

Horse’s Neck

This drink gets its name from the way the lemon peel hangs off the lip of the glass. According to cocktails.about.com, to make this drink, place a spiral of lemon peel into a Collins glass. Secure one end of the peel over the lip of the glass. After adding ice cubes and pouring in the bourbon and ginger ale, you are off to the races.

ingredients

: Spiral of lemon peel / 2 oz. bourbon / 8 oz. ginger ale / ice / Collins glass kinseyinstitute.org

penis size matters less often and to fewer women (and men who are into men) than most people think.

The Kinsey Institute reports that it is not that penis size never matters to people; it does. But most men are about 4 to 6 inches long when erect, which means there are not drastic differences among men when it comes to erect length. Plus, the vagina is limited in its size; it can only comfortably accept so much for penile-vaginal intercourse. It is also the case that some women prefer a smaller-than-average penis size, particularly if they have a smaller-than-average sized vagina. The bottom line: try not to think of penis size as a “good size” or a “bad size,” but as one of several variables that has to do with sex. How you connect with your partner and your openness to exploring, being intimate with each other and having fun almost always matter more than size.

WhoKnew? In 1938, Time chose the infamous Adolf Hitler as Man of the Year, whom they claimed influenced the year “for better or worse.”

36

Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

telegraph.co.uk

hole in the wall Do you feel like every visit to Facebook is just another confirmation of the fact that everyone — and we mean everyone — is getting engaged or married?

So did the woman who created myfriendsaremarried. tumblr.com. She posts often about aspects of her life of singleness in relation to her friends, who continuously provide her with hilarious fodder.

there’s an

app

for that

Want a free personal trainer? Try RunKeeper, an app that tracks your runs, walks and more through your phone’s GPS. You can view a history of your activities, get notified when you hit your personal bests and post your accomplishments online.

We have been told that it’s not polite to stare, but Kim Jong-il proved he was not subject to such standards. The Tumblr page kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com shows hilarious captured moments of the former leader staring at everything you can imagine.

From dried squid to doughnuts to babies to Vladimir Putin, he has seen everything.

dumblaws.com

oddlaws

Licensed to Shoot

wy

You need an official permit to photograph rabbits between January and April.

Drunken Dumbo

mo

In Natchez, it is illegal to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.

time suck of the month

Please Do Disturb

Possibly one of the funniest least-known

Couples staying in hotel rooms must have separate beds that are at least two feet apart.

web sites out there is howdoiputthisgently.tumblr. com. Made by a graduate student, it features GIFs of animals or scenes from films with text or headings like, “When I’m in class and my friend is still drunk.” With a minimalist theme, your entire focus is on the funny, so check it out.

Sexual Misconduct

nc

tx

A felony charge could be levied for owning or promoting the use of more than six dildos.

it came from the library There are many stories accounting for the naming of the cocktail.

One of the most commonly told versions is that Betsy Flanagan, a bartender, was working at Halls Corners in Elmsford, N.Y., in 1776.

The bar was decorated with feathers, and when a drunk asked for a glass of “those cocktails,” she served him a mixed drink garnished with a feather.

The priciest dog in the world was an 11-monthold red Tibetan mastiff named Big Splash who was sold to a Chinese millionaire for just under $1.6 million.

This was not the only time the breed reached such high prices; another Chinese woman bought an 18-monthold purebred Tibetan Mastiff named Yangtze No. 2 for about $600,000.

A California woman loves bovines. As of March 2011, Denise Tubangui had garnered a staggering collection of 2,429 cow-related items. She began her bovine-related item collection in 1990, when a cow figurine she found in her mother’s kitchen sparked her obsession. Her favorite item is the life-sized calf that her neighbors gave her as a present.

Usually, 4-year-olds are concerned with snacks, naptime and watching cartoons. But Dorothy Straight, the youngest commercially published author at age 4, spent her time differently.

She wrote “How the World Began” in 1962 for her grandmother. Her parents were so impressed they sent the book to Pantheon Books, and it was published in 1964.

good news bad news

Mechaphilia.

Edward Smith of Washington enjoys spending time with his girlfriend — a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla. Smith has felt sexually attracted to cars for years, and he claims to have had sex with more than 1,000 vehicles throughout his life. “I’m a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend,” he said. He claims he has no desire to change his car-loving ways.

Pretty Woman.

Angkookrat Warangnam of Thailand, nicknamed Toon, beat hundreds of women to make it into the finals of a modeling competition — and then shocked organizers by revealing she was a man.

She entered Brighton’s Next Hot Model contest and sailed through the preliminary rounds, wowing judges with her brown eyes, long dark hair and svelte figure. She revealed her sex when she was chosen for the finals, but the judges let her continue.

Toddlers & Reptiles.

Imad Aleeyan, a 13-month-old from the Arab Israeli town of Shefa’Amr, who has six teeth, was found chewing on the head of a 12-inch snake by his mother, whose screams were heard by the rest of the neighborhood. An alarmed neighbor took the snake from the boy’s mouth and killed it. The boy was rushed to hospital but had no bite marks or other injuries.

WhoKnew? The average person eats about 60,000 pounds of food throughout his or her life — that is the equivalent of six elephants.

11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

37

thelists

best places things that make us crazy to eat this month Eclipse Spanish Tapas Bar

flip-flopping

What stance are you taking?

It’s one thing to have different viewpoints, but if you change your mind from week to week depending on the majority’s opinion, you need to quit flip-flopping. The world has enough politicians.

median problems That pesky median on Walnut has foiled one too many drop-offs, and when traffic is heavy, making an illegal Uturn is impossible, which forces us drive all the way down Walnut again. That is not exactly our idea of cruising.

overcharged You are charging us how much for having one tire on the line of a parking spot?

Let’s stop by Home Depot and purchase a ruler to make sure we park just right the next time.

the borrowers “May I borrow a tissue?” No, no you may not, because there is no way we will take it back once you are done with it. Let’s be honest with ourselves; you were not planning on returning it anyway.

is the place to dine if you are looking to splurge and take your taste buds on an exciting adventure. From paella to churros, this restaurant has several festive and authentic foods that are sure to tempt your pallet. Though the menu might seem a bit hard to pronounce, and the prices may seem high, the taste is well worth the journey. 113 S.E. Fourth St. • 812–463–6040 • eclipsetapas.com

The Gerst Haus is a great place to sample tra-

ditional German fare. It has everything German: pork tenderloins, potatoes, bratwurst and, of course, a wide selection of beer, all in an authentic atmosphere. The portions are gigantic, so prepare to leave with a full stomach. And visit on Friday and Saturday nights to hear a live polka band. 2100 W. Franklin St. • 812–424– 1420 • gersthaus.com

The Cross-Eyed Cricket

, although it sounds like it might be a name of a bar, is a great family restaurant that offers large portions at smaller prices. It serves a wide variety of foods ranging from breakfast to dinner, including omelets, salads, sandwiches and seafood. 2101 W. Lloyd Expressway • 812– 422–6464 • crosseyedcricketrestaurant.com

Roly Poly

, though a bit off the beaten path, has inexpensive sandwich rolls that come with a great nutritional boost. The food is prepared right in front of you and has healthy ingredients like alfalfa sprouts, avocados, bell peppers and spinach. The restaurant prides itself on its healthy food, and not one thing on the menu has over 527 calories, minus the sauce. 5702 E. Virginia St. • 812–962–2326 • rolypoly.com

great READS 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

time and 1.I willHavewritea tweet tweet nothings in your ear. —Bill Cosby

2. Why did my lane stop?’ said everyone, all day, every day in los angeles.

—Mindy Kaling

3.

Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial.

Somebody help me.

—Conan O’Brien

4.

I want to meet the man who saw a turtle and said, ‘People will love the ninja version of that.’

—Jonah Hill

in Mexico 5.City,Lasta 40week yr old interviewer started weeping, mumbling in Spanish and hugging Kermit. Everyone but me felt super weird.

—Jason Segel

6.

Sitting in green room with Justin Bieber…must resist urge to roundhouse kick him in his midget face.

—Will Ferrell

memorable celebrity tweets

as far as junior Max Gross is concerned. This anthropology major’s list includes:

“Wicked” Gregory Maguire (HarperCollins, 1995) The “Harry Potter” Series J.K. Rowling (Arthur A. Levine Books, 1997–2007) “Fahrenheit 451” Ray Bradbury (Ballantine Books, 1953) “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” L. Frank Baum (George M. Hill Company, 1900) “Hoot” Carl Hiaasen (Alfred A. Knopf, 2002)

WhoKnew? A hen’s “earlobe” color correlates with the color of its eggshell — the darker the earlobe, the darker the eggshell’s color.

38

Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

top 10

Elevators are boring places, but here’s a list to keep you and others (but mostly you) entertained.

1. Stand motionless and silent in the corner, facing the wall, and never get off. If there is a mirror, make awkward eye contact with the people behind you.

2. Ask others who get on

if you can push the buttons for them, but push the wrong ones.

Act offended when they try to correct you.

3. Drop a pen and wait un-

til someone stoops down to pick it up for you. Then berate him or her by screaming, “That’s mine!”

4. Pretend you are a flight

attendant, and review emergency procedures and exits with the other riders.

5. Yell, “Hug it out!” at

the top of your lungs, and then force everyone in for a group hug.

Hug extra tight.

6. Glance and grin at the other people for a while, and then smile and say, “I just got new socks. First day I’m wearing them.”

7. When there are just two of you in the elevator, poke the other person then adamantly deny you did it.

8. Press all of the buttons

when you get on, and then when the elevator stops at every floor, yell, “All aboard!”

9. Strike up a conversation

with someone else, and use air quotes at the completely wrong times. Then, when you need them, do not use them.

10. Just for old time’s sake

— because we know what you are thinking — initiate the “horizontal hustle” while riding from the top floor all the way to the lobby.

tunes

collegetimes.com

“It’s always played, and it gets stuck in my head.”

sophomore Anastacia Peadro

“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” “It just sounds too twangy for me.”

sophomore Calli Pugh

“Winter Wonderland”

“I had to sing it for choir in fifth grade, and my dad didn’t stop singing it for two weeks.”

“It’s such a cliche song.”

“Baby It’s Cold Outside” “It’s kind of a creepy song if you listen to the words.”

sophomore McKenzie Ellis

“It’s too slow. It puts me to sleep.”

sophomore Jill Janss

“

junior Erick Forson

“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” “It’s just not romantic-sounding.”

sophomore Steffan Clark

“All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”

“Silent Night”

Abdulrahman Falqi Freshman

“The Watch” (2012)

Donovan Hulsey

“The Little Drummer Boy” freshman Susie Heer

from, which are your action-packed favorites?

“The movie tells about the daily life of officers, and it’s not as easy as it seems.”

Christmas songs these readers just cannot stand.

“Jingle Bells”

movies With lots to choose

“The annoying voice and everything.”

freshman John Hensle

“History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again.”

—Kurt Vonnegut, writer

Freshman “Battlefield Baseball” (2003) “It’s kind of like a trauma film. It’s got the quality of trauma, but the sense of comedy in baseball. The ending has a twist you’d never expect.”

Clorissa Orrick

Freshman “The Avengers” (2012) “It had a good storyline, and all the action was really good. It made for a good movie.”

Taylor Droste Senior

“Pulp Fiction” (1994)

“Because it’s an instant classic, and it’s Tarentino. The ‘say “what” again!’ scene is so intense — Samuel Jackson just makes that entire film.”

Jacob Peterson Junior

“V for Vendetta” (2005)

“I mean, you get to see a guy get strangled and the entire British Parliament go up in fireworks — what’s not to like?”

WhoKnew? When the Titanic departed from port, it was carrying 1,000 loaves of bread and 86,000 pounds of meat to feed its passengers.

11.2012 l Crescent Magazine

39

Gummed-up Saturdays

Family is like a box of razors: Enter at your own risk. i LEARNED

don’tquoteme

a long time ago I should never agree to help my father with a chore unless he tells me what it is first. To his credit, my father never let this requirement deter him from enlisting me for any number of Saturday-consuming activities. In fact, whenever he had a chore for which he needed my help, he used the mystery surrounding the nature of the task to entice me.

40

Crescent Magazine l 11.2012

Like Mephistopheles tempting Faust into signing away his soul, my father constructed a web of possibilities that practically had me begging to give up my free time. For all I knew, he had just discovered a secret cavern in the backyard filled with gold, ancient pottery and puppies. In the end, no matter how much I wanted to spend my Saturdays with bowls of Cocoa Puffs and “Doug” marathons, the allure of my father’s tasks pulled me in with hopes of adventure.

It was during one of these “adventures” on a beautiful Saturday afternoon in mid-July, when the temperature drifted between beautiful and perfect for the better part of the day, that I was stuck in my grandparents’ garage. No gold. No ancient pottery. No puppies. Just a couple of hours sorting through old boxes filled with an assortment of items accumulated during my grandparents’ 65-year marriage.

Despite the lack of death-defying elements in the activity, there did exist an element of stealth. Our goal was to clean and organize the garage, which had seen less maintenance over the years than the Deepwater Horizon oil-drilling rig, and it had to be done secretly. Grandpa would not be terribly happy about our cleaning venture, so my father and I operated as carefully and efficiently as possible. Frankly, as long as the St. Louis Cardinals were ahead, we could be building a meth lab in there as long as it did not interfere with the satellite signal.

The cleaning itself was not difficult. The real challenge was figuring out how and when grandpa acquired some of the items we discovered on the cluttered shelves. One box, for example, contained a baseball glove that looked old enough to predate the sport itself by at least a century.

Another box held a number of old paint cans, some of which were full, some of which smelled like rancid onion milk and some of which were occupied by insects whose first reaction to being startled was ap-

parently to seek refuge in the nearest nostril they could find: mine.

After I expelled the entomological booger from my nose, dad pulled out a crate with a plethora of electric razors in it. The inside of the box closely resembled an electronic graveyard — a veritable Jonestown of old gears and gummed-up teeth.

Most of the razors in the box looked as though they had burnt out after trying to trim through copious amounts of shaving cream.

Shortly after our adventure in the garage ended, my dad explained to me that the razors had once belonged to one of my grandpa’s brothers. The greatuncle in question loved using electric razors, but did not realize that they could operate without shaving cream. This meant each razor was subjected to a regimen of lather, mince and defeat. Week after week, my grandpa would receive a call from his brother to come over and fix another razor whose insides were fried thanks to the good people at Gillette. The best a man can get indeed.

As grandpa cleaned and rewired and chanted sweet life back into the razors, he would ask his brother, “Why don’t you just take care of one of these razors?” I imagine grandpa felt about as annoyed as dad and I did picking through twisted TV antennas and newspapers that still advertised new episodes of “Gilligan’s Island.” To this, my great-uncle would reply, “Because if I did, I wouldn’t see you as often.”

The appropriate way to end this piece would be to say something along the lines of time spent with family is never a waste. From afternoons cleaning out garages to Thanksgivings spent awkwardly talking to great-aunt what’s-her-face about how tender the turkey is, maybe family time is necessary to keep perspective on life.

Yet, as much as I love my father, I still question his motives every time he asks me to come home. Maybe he truly wants to see his little boy again. More likely, he wants the truck cleaned and is willing to trade a free meal for it. Still, that’s what families are for. Whether we have a dirty truck, a cluttered garage or a dozen lifeless razors, at least there is always someone there to help us pick up the pieces — even if we do not know we need the help.

craig keepes l essayist

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onlinE coUrsEs during Winter Break...

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