When Did Self-Care Turn into Self-Destruction?

by Alicja Anna Chojnacka

As a stereotypical teenager, I spent a considerable amount of my time using the internet, especially social media. Nowadays, self-care and beauty routines tend to come up frequently across many social media platforms, which I don’t believe to be a necessarily negative thing. However, I recently started observing a concerning trend, not only within the beauty community but quite literally everywhere. The fear of getting old, or rather, of looking old.

Looking old has been maligned to the point where people as young as 25 seem to believe themselves old, and a singular wrinkle on their forehead is a tragedy. With the current cultural narrative concerning aging, I can easily understand why. At frst, I thought it might just be my algorithm. However, whenever I brought up my annoyance to my friends, I noticed that almost all of them had seen this type of content. And the most concerning part is that it is impossible to escape. No matter how many times we click "not interested", it seems to fnd its way back to us.

Preventative botox! Don’t use a straw, you are gonna get wrinkles! Don’t smile! Don’t frown! Actually, just don’t express any emotions whatsoever, because being eternally youthful is more important than being human! Yay! Spend 5 hours a day massaging your face to avoid wrinkles, you are only worth something when you are young and beautiful! Oh, and remember, old men are sexy, but women have an expiration date. Have a nice day! This bizarre obsession with viewing your frst wrinkle as foreshadowing for your own personal doomsday is concerning for so many reasons.

First of all, I would like everyone to consider why we consider ageing as something horrifying and nothing short of a failure. Sure, at some point the body starts to deteriorate biologically, but what is so wrong with external signs of age? Yes, you might get an extra smile line, but you also get many years of experience, wisdom and — hopefully — happiness. How did we manage to reduce years of emotions and adventures to something to cry about the moment you see evidence of it in your bathroom mirror?

"Don’t use a straw, you are gonna get wrinkles! Don’t smile! Don’t frown! Actually, just don’t express any emotions whatsoever, because being eternally youthful is more important than being human!"

tic standards of society. But with this new plague of anti-ageing, this collective delusion of trying to look twenty while turning ffty, takes away that peace from women.

I would also like to point out the diference in the amount of anti-ageing products when comparing men and women’s cosmetics. Let’s not even fxate on the fact that such a division of beauty products is quite confusing and unnecessary in the frst place. But on top of that, I have not seen a single advertisement for an anti-ageing cream for men, the only anti-ageing campaign I’ve actually glimpsed is one brand of shampoo for grey hair. That is it. But I can name about a dozen anti-ageing products for women that were advertised to me, against my will. And while I am aware that some of them are objectively benefcial, there is no reason for anyone to use retinol the second they are out of the womb.

Even after numerous critical discussions about these unrealistic beauty standards, I believe its negative infuence on women is still underestimated. Because what is realistic and achievable in looking twenty-fve while being ffty? And what is so wrong about simply looking your age? I think it is dangerous to advertise an ideal of airbrushed models. There is no magical cream that’s going to turn you into Dorian Gray and there never will be. Our society’s unreachable beauty standards are known to lead to numerous mental illnesses, including eating disorders, anxiety and depression. Can we not just let women be?

Second of all, research shows that women tend to score higher on neuroticism tests — the psychological tendency to experience emotional anxiety, insecurity and instability — than men. Interestingly enough, this is only the case when they are young; the older women get, the lower the observed signs of neuroticism are. And there is no biological explanation. One of the hypotheses is that neuroticism is due to the high standards placed on women, and as they get older, they begin to let go of our weirdly child-like beauty standards. Only at that point in their lives can they fnally be at peace, no longer feeling the pressure to reach the unrealis-

"Our society’s unreachable beauty standards are known to lead to numerous mental illnesses, including eating disorders, anxiety and depression. Can we not just let women be?"

Finally, I would like to address all women reading this. You are not your body, you are not your wrinkles. Ageing is beautiful, natural and quite frankly, unavoidable. Imagine all the things you’ll get to experience before you’re thirty, let alone ffty! Wrinkles are like little diary entries from your whole life, documenting all the beautiful moments you have experienced. So please, do age. Do it out of pure spite.