209 Senior Living #20

OCTOBER 2019 - ISSUE #20

Staying in touch Overcoming Worry Proven coping strategies

OCTOBER 2019 - ISSUE #20 PUBLISHER Hank Vander Veen

HAPPY LIVING

GENERAL MANAGER Drew Savage

IS MORE FUN

ART DIRECTOR Harold L. George

WITH FRIENDS

DESIGNER Sharon R. Hoffman

• Fully renovated apartments with well-equipped kitchens

ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Chuck Higgs

• Activities & Events

SALES & MARKETING Lorraine Bernaldes Corey Rogers Chris Castro

Melody Wann

Beth Flanagan

Charles Webber

Dawn Hamilton

Jennifer Webber

• All-day restaurant-style dining • Personalized care and assistance

Rich Matheson

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C O N T E N T S Q & A. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 SAFETY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 HEARING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 INNOVATIONS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 OVERCOMING WORRY. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 STAYING SHARP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 BONE FACTS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 SEIZE THE DAY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 STAY IN TOUCH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16

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209 SENIOR LIVING | Q & A

Dear Doug Q:

BORED IN RETIREMENT

I was a sales manager in a major department store for 28 years and looked forward to having a new and exciting lifestyle in retirement.

I finally retired in the last year, but I'm finding myself bored to death!

While working, I liked the feeling of accomplishing things, meeting new people and taking pride in my work. Now I've lost my sense of focus.

How can I feel like my old self?

A:

Start by realizing that you now have the opportunity to switch gears and look forward to a new lifestyle. Be grateful for the blessings you have, as not everybody has them.

Do you think that you are anxious and fearful for the future?

Some difficulties that many retirees face are losing business contacts and longtime work friendships, and not having a reason to get out of bed.

However, you now have the chance to develop new skills, such as learning how to relax, taking your time to appreciate life, choosing new hobbies and adventures and developing your relationships with others.

Now that you're retired, you are in control of your personal life. Now that you don't have work commitments dictating your daily schedule, you have to build your life from the bottom up. Find reasons to be excited for every day.

Retirement is what you make of it! -- Doug

Q:

APHASIA DIFFICULTIES

After having a stroke six months ago, my husband hasn't recovered completely.

Although he's improved significantly, he still finds talking very difficult. He speaks slowly and has trou-

ble finding his words. Trying to speak often leaves him frustrated.

How can I support the man I love?

A:

The best thing that you can do is to help him adjust to his new challenges. Although he will doubtlessly be frustrated with himself, you can try to give him some extra help avoiding common obstacles.

Speak clearly without raising your voice. Speak at a slightly slower pace, but don't overdo it.

Avoid spaces with a lot of background noise, like crowded restaurants or hardware stores.

Say one idea at a time, and avoid complicated sentence structures. Hand gestures, facial expressions or the tone of your voice can make it easier for him to understand you.

If he makes mistakes when speaking, don't make

a big deal of it. The more he practices speaking, the easier and less stressful it may feel.

Finally, give him time to talk, and don't interrupt.

Although you may want to help, interfering could be demeaning and foster dependence.

When talking about aphasia, remember that language impairments aren't the same thing as cognitive difficulties. Although your husband isn't able to speak as he did before, that doesn't mean that he is less intelligent.

Depending on the exact nature of his stroke, he will find particular communicative tasks challenging. Every case of aphasia is slightly different. You can help by talking with him about what he struggles with and figuring out coping methods.

Most of all, continue to be patient and loving. A positive attitude makes it easier to get through all struggles. -- Emma

Doug Mayberry's advice column, "Dear Doug," written with Emma Mayberry, his daughter.

OCTOBER 2019 SENIORLIVING 5

209 SENIOR LIVING | SAFETY

How to outsmart scammers B Y KRIS TEN CASTIL L O

The phone rings. The voice on the line says, "Hi, Grandma. I need help. Can you send money to get me out of trouble?"

This scenario may not seem believable to some savvy consumers, but it's having a major impact on seniors. In what's known as an "imposter scam" or a "grandparent scam," cons pretend to be a loved one in need, such as a grandchild. Eager to help, the seniors send money, often cash, in the mail. But it's all a scam. A new report from the Federal Trade Commission reports 25 percent of people over 70 who sent money to help a loved one, sent cash. In that age group, the median amount sent was $9,000.

The FTC urges seniors not to act right away, even if the story is dramatic. Instead, call the family member's phone to see whether he or she is actually in trouble.

"Seniors should be cautious and understand that things are not always as they seem," says David Canfield, owner of Senior Helpers in Central Long Island, a provider of in-home senior care to seniors across the U.S. "Oftentimes, when something appears 'too good to be true,' it is likely a scam."

He says red flags of a scam include asking for personal information like credit card and Social Security numbers, passwords or account logins.

Read on for a rundown of other cons targeting seniors.

PHISHING SCAMS

Don't be reeled in by fake calls that might seem legitimate at first, such as calls purporting to help with Medicare. Scammers pretend to be health insurance representatives but they're really fishing or "phishing" for your personal information, such as your Social Security number or insurance ID. "Once the scammer has this information, they will use it to bill Medicare for fake services and then keep the money," says Justin Lavelle, chief communications director of BeenVerified.com, the leading online background check platform, who advises hanging up on any callers that say they want to help you with a replacement card.

PRESCRIPTION FOR TROUBLE

Fake prescription drug scams are rampant on the internet.

"Individuals who are seeking lower prices for prescrip-

tion drugs will often turn to the internet to find deals," says Lavelle. "Knowing this, the scammer will set up a website that advertises fake, cheap prescription drugs."

Seniors often fall for the scam, paying for the medicine and later discovering that the drugs they bought weren't what the doctor ordered. Sometimes they're fakes, which can create more health problems.

Avoid this scam by talking to your family or your doctor before ordering any medications online. They can verify the website and the medicine's authenticity.

EMAIL FRAUD

"When checking your email, stay suspicious and on alert," says Brandon Schroth, digital manager for Gillware Data Recovery, a data recovery company and digital forensics lab. "Often times a fraudulent email will try to scare you by saying something was stolen or that you've won a prize."

He says instead of clicking on links in the email, go directly to the company's website and sign in how you normally would.

Be wary of emails with a blank "to" field as well as ones with bad spelling or incorrect grammar.

"Also, if the email begins with 'Hello' but doesn't actually state your name, that's another red flag," says Schroth, who recommends installing internet security, such as Norton AntiVirus or McAfee SiteAdvisor, on a senior's computer to help prevent damage in case a malicious email is opened by mistake.

OCTOBER 2019 SENIORLIVING 6

DATING SITE DRAMA

If you're online dating, be careful of potential frauds.

"One major online dating scam targets older single women," says Lavelle. "The con artist builds up a rapport with the victim via an online dating website, and asks for increasingly large amounts of money to be wired to a foreign address."

Once the scammer has the money, he or she runs away with your cash.

Head off this fraud by paying close attention. Research the person before you meet face to face to ensure he or she doesn't have a criminal record. If the date won't meet you in person, it could be a scam. When chatting online, make sure your companion is real, not a robot.

"Mix up the conversation; see if the person continues to track with you," says Lavelle. "If they're unable to switch gears, it could be a robot responder giving predetermined responses."

LOTTERY SCAMS

Cons may call, email or mail info about collecting lottery winnings, if you pay a fee to claim the money.

Seniors may think they're lotto winners, but think again.

"The scammer will then send a fake check to the victim to be deposited in their bank with the knowledge that it will take time for the bank to reject the check," says Lavelle. "The victim will wire the money for the prize only to later discover that the check was fraudulent."

Avoid the scam by not giving money to claim any prize.

209 SENIOR LIVING | HEARING

Can you hear me now?

I've had two friends who've struggled with hearing loss, so I know how profoundly this health challenge can negatively affect every aspect of your life.

According to many experts, hearing loss -which is now being referred to as "America's silent epidemic" -- is more harmful to quality of life than many forms of cancer, diabetes, obesity or a stroke.

For years, loss of hearing was considered to be a harbinger of old age, but the advent of loud rock music and ear-splitting live performances, and the overuse of ear buds have introduced audio deficiencies to an entirely younger generation.

According to the World Health Organization, 1.1 billion teenagers and young adults are currently at risk for hearing loss, and the numbers are expected to rise with each passing decade. In fact, U.S. government data estimates that approximately 5.2 million children ages 6 to 19

have already suffered permanent damage to their ears' inner hair cells due to repeated exposure to loud noises.

Age is, however, an undeniable factor when it comes to hearing loss. About 30 percent of people in their 50s, close to 50 percent of those in their 60s and nearly 70 percent of those in their 70s will notice a measurable decrease in their ability to hear correctly. And this unwelcome development is further complicated by the fact that the average older American postpones -- for seven to 10 years -- getting a hearing aid or device. Sadly, the longer people refuse to address their hearing loss, the greater the risk -- to the brain! -- of losing the ability to translate what someone says into usable speech.

A variety of factors can contribute to losing our ability to hear properly. They include the following: •C hanges in blood flow to the ear.

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•C hanges in the structure of the inner ear.

•C hanges in the way our brain processes sound or speech.

•D amage to the tiny ear hairs that transmit sound to the brain.

• Diabetes.

• Exposure to loud noises.

• Family history of hearing loss.

• I mpairment of the nerves responsible for hearing.

• Poor circulation.

• Smoking.

• Use of certain medications.

Currently, there are three theories regarding why we hear less as we grow older. One is the wear-and-tear assumption that with the passing years, our mechanisms for hearing correctly simply "age out." Other scientists believe in the free radical theory, which asserts that a lifetime accumulation of free radicals can irrevoca-

bly damage our hearing mechanism. And yet others insist that a genetic predisposition explains why some people can hear well into their 90s, while others struggle as soon as they hit the half-century mark.

Since the ability of the brain to translate sound is so essential to hearing well, there are a few mental-gymnastics programs specifically designed to keep the brain supple enough to hear well as we age. The first is the Posit Science Brain Fitness Program, an online program comprised of six exercises that target auditory processing and memory. And the other is Lumosity, which only takes 10 minutes a day to help the brain's neural pathways.

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209 SENIOR LIVING | INNOVATIONS

Medical advances

BY DR. DAVID LIPSCHITZ

I recently attended a big celebration for the 50th anniversary of my medical school class's graduation.

As I look back on my long career, I hope that my contributions to the science and teaching of medicine will have made a small difference. My research interests focused on iron metabolism initially and then on the aging process. The advances in the fields of gerontology (the study of aging) and oncology (the study of cancer) over the past 50 years have been beyond anyone's wildest dreams.

The difference between aging and cancer is that the former is normal and the latter is a disease. But they both involve a complex interaction between an individual with his or her environment over time.

The most important research has been the development of an almost total understanding of the fundamental biology of the cell. We have learned the important role played by genes -- the way they function and how the complex interaction among genes determines how a cell ages and how diseases, such

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as cancer, develop.

With advancing age, the ability of the cell to rapidly neutralize toxic byproducts (oxidants) is slowed. This makes the cell more prone to damage that impairs function and renders it likelier to develop an array of diseases, including cancer. A simultaneous reduction in immune cell function occurs. The immune system loses its ability to recognize and destroy abnormal cells, making agerelated maladies -- such as cancer, Alzheimer's disease and vascular abnormalities -- more common.

Cellular function involves a balance between genes that stimulate cells to grow and divide and genes that inhibit overgrowth of cells. Alterations of these genes contribute to cellular aging and cancer development. Genes that stimulate cell growth are thought to be a major factor in the development of cancer and hence are called oncogenes. Damage or mutation of an oncogene causes the rapid growth of cells that are transformed into cancer cells.

Simultaneously, mutation of the inhibitory genes

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allows the more rapid growth of malignant cells.

This knowledge has allowed for the development of unique compounds that have successfully treated cancers, including leukemia, lymphoma and certain forms of breast cancer. Stimulating and altering the immune system so that they specifically target and kill cancer cells offers the promise of more effective therapy, as well. The combination of chemotherapy, radiotherapy and surgery now allows many with incurable cancer to live longer with a far better quality of life. We are making great strides in curing cancer. Deaths from cancer have gone down by about 15 percent in the past 30 years.

Altering gene function and boosting the immune system are also being evaluated in order to slow the aging process and prolong life.

Environmental factors play an important role in both aging and cancer. Most important is smoking, which is the major cause of lung cancer, bladder cancer, severe lung disease and heart attack risk.

Other pollutants -- including asbestos, pesticides

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and certain viruses -- contribute to cancer risk and how we age.

Lack of nutrition may well become the most important factor contributing to a shorter life expectancy and cancer. High-fat diets are particularly responsible for breast, colon, kidney and prostate cancers while also shortening life expectancy by heart disease, stroke, diabetes and disabilities caused by obesity.

The best approach to treating cancer is to prevent it. Far more important than any treatment is how easily we can reduce deaths by smoking cessation, eating right, using sunscreen, exercising and avoiding stress. All of these approaches reduce cancer and prolong life.

And remember the importance of screening.

Though screening for breast and prostate cancers has been controversial, the tests, when done correctly, will reduce cancer deaths. And from age 50 onward, screening for colon cancer is most effective in preventing death from colon cancer.

The advances in health care over the past 50 years have been truly miraculous. But as our generation passes the baton to our children and grandchildren, the promise of the next 50 years will be much greater.

Make the most of every day!

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209 SENIOR LIVING | OVERCOMING WORRY

The sky is falling

BY MARILYNN PRESTON

Are you worried about how much you worry? Bravo.

Uncontrolled anxiety is a giant obstacle to personal happiness. No surprise.

Worry causes stress, and stress saps our strength, disturbs our sleep, fries our brain and constantly undermines our best efforts to stay healthy, relaxed and optimistic.

And yet there's so much to worry about these days. Is Alexa really recording everything I say? Why is our air more foul, our food and water more toxic?

What do we do when all our online 24/7 connectivity only increases people's loneliness and isolation?

Of course, my list of worries will be different from your list, but we all share a need to deal with our anxiety in clever and effective ways.

That's why I want to offer some proven coping strategies recommended by psychologist Robert L. Leahy, the director of the American Institute for Cognitive Therapy, an author and editor of 26 books, including "Anxiety Free: Unravel Your Fears Before They Unravel You." Some sound truly weird, and those are some of my favorites. Dr. Leahy has seen these methods work wonders. His blog on psychologytoday.com is a constant source of simple and powerful methods for dealing with your worries:

TURN YOUR ANXIETY INTO A MOVIE

One creative way to let go of a worry is to disconnect yourself from it, Dr. Leahy says. Imagine your anxiety, your fear, presented to you as a film or a theater piece. You're in the audience. You're listening to the guy in the goofy hat sing and dance about your overdrawn bank account or your under whelming relationship.

He's acting out your worries, all right, but you're detached. You are the witness.

And that trick literally takes the drama out of it. From that calm, detached place, you're able to take more effective action.

SET ASIDE WORRY TIME

Worries show up, constantly and unannounced. You're washing your dishes, and BAM! You begin to panic about paying off your student loans. You're taking a walk -- a wise and wonderful thing to do -- and the whole time, you're worrying about all the things you should be doing instead -- a very silly thing to do.

Here's Leahy's suggestion: Set aside a specific time every day to worry about your worries. Pick, say, 6 p.m. If it's morning and a worry hits, jot it down and decide to focus on it later. Do that all day long. By the time 6 p.m. rolls around, many of your worries will seem too silly to deal with, and you'll have spent most of the day worry-free.

BREATHE IT OUT

The mind attaches to the negative.

Know that and be ready. Next time you feel tense, notice your breath. You're probably holding it. Ask yourself: Where is my breath now? Where is my attention? Link them by listening to your inhalations and exhalations, an easy and ancient strategy for calming your nerves.

Breathe in, breathe out, consciously.

When anxiety knocks -- and it will -answer it by bringing your attention back to your breath. No harm doing this 10 times a day if you need to.

DON'T FIGHT THE CRAZINESS

It's normal to have crazy thoughts, says Dr. Leahy. He had a client, a lawyer, who kept imagining she'd lose control and start screaming in court. Our minds are creative, he told her. Sometimes our little synapses make wacky connections and a crazy thought results. It happens to everyone. Don't judge yourself. See your anxiety as though it were a curious object on a shelf, he says. Notice it, but don't react to it in negative ways.

TAKE YOUR HAND OFF THE HORN

When you make a stupid comment,

do you play it back over and over? Stuck in heavy traffic, is that you blasting your horn? What is, is Leahy points out. Some things just cannot be controlled ... like rush hour. He teaches his clients to surrender to the moment. It's a paradox: The more you surrender to the moment, the more in control you actually feel.

LET IT PASS

When you're a worrier, everything can feel like an emergency. And yet, every

OCTOBER 2019 SENIORLIVING 10

feeling of panic comes to an end. Next time you feel your anxiety building to a crisis, ask yourself, "How will I feel about this is a week? In a month?" So why not drop it now?

ENERGY EXPRESS-O! AVOID MELTDOWNS "Worry is as useless as a handle on a snowball." -- Mitzi Chandler

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209 SENIOR LIVING | STAYING SHARP

Improve crossword-solving skills Crossword puzzles are an integral component of newspapers. In addition to their entertainment quality, crossword puzzles can help improve cognition and brain health in individuals of all ages.

The first known crossword puzzle to be published was created by a British journalist named Arthur Wynne, who is often credited as the inventor of crosswords. The first puzzle appeared in the New York World on December 21, 1913. The original crossword was diamond-shaped and did not feature the familiar black squares.

Throughout the 1920s, crossword puzzles became a standard offering in many newspapers. During this period, puzzle shapes evolved to the more familiar form, and certain puzzle standards were established. Puzzles now appearing in most North American newspapers and magazines feature solid areas of white squares. Each letter is usually part of both an “across” word and a “down” word, and usually each answer must contain at least three letters. In these puzzles, shaded squares are typically limited to about one-sixth of the total.

It is estimated that around 50 million people in America routinely partake in crossword puzzles. Each year, one best-of-the-best is crowned in the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament.

Everyone wants to improve his or her crossword-puzzling skills. These tips can help.

• Practice a lot.

Practice makes perfect, even with crossword puzzles.

Start with simple puzzles and work up to the more difficult ones.

• Divide and conquer.

Divide the puzzle into smaller sections and complete each cluster before moving on. ItÕs easier than completing all of the across or down clues.

• Watch “Jeopardy.”

Puzzles used to be comprised largely of definitions, but they now incorporate just about every subject. Improving general knowledge and perhaps watching trivia shows can help with puzzle completion.

• Learn repeat offenders.

Over time you may recognize certain words appear in puzzle after puzzle. You’ll soon be able to match the clues to these repeat words.

• Familiarize yourself with multiple word meanings.

Remember to think like a puzzle creator, who is probably trying to stump you. The word “flower” may not imply the blooming plant. It may represent something that “flows.”

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• Take a break.

Taking a few moments to step away from the puzzle before returning to it can clear the mind and make answers more apparent.

Crossword puzzles are a popular component of daily and weekly newspapers. They’re fun to fill out and boast a rich history.

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209 SENIOR LIVING | BONE FACTS

Did you know?

According to the National Osteoporosis Foundation, certain factors make women more likely than men to develop osteoporosis, a bone disease that occurs when the body loses too much bone, produces too little bone or both. One such factor is that women tend to have smaller, thinner bones than men. Another reason women are more vulnerable to osteoporosis than men concerns the hormone estrogen. Estrogen is a hormone in women that serves many functions, one of which includes protecting bones. Production of estrogen decreases sharply when women reach menopause, the period in a woman’s life when she ceases menstruating. The National Institute on Aging notes that the average woman has her final period at age 51. Once women reach menopause, the accompanying decline in estrogen production can cause bone loss. This is one reason why womenÕs risk for osteoporosis increases after menopause and why recommended intake of calcium and vitamin D, both of which can help women prevent osteoporosis, is different for women age 50 and below than it is for women age 51 and older.

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It’s never too soon to enjoy the fellowship of the Bethany Home community. With a variety of living options, you are sure to find just the right fit. If your needs change, we have the resources to assist you, all on the same campus.

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OCTOBER 2019 SENIORLIVING 14

209 SENIOR LIVING | SEIZE THE DAY

Carpe diem!

BY CHELLE CORDERO

In 2007, a movie premiered about two men who had terminal illnesses.

Although they started out as strangers, they soon began traveling the world together, fulfilling the "Bucket List" one of them had written down.

The term "bucket list" is a list of things to do before you die. The term is derived from "kick the bucket," an idiom and euphemism for dying. The good news, though, is that a bucket list can be started at any age and no longer carries the morbid finality of being close to one's deathbed.

All people should write a list of all the things they would like to do, including places they would like to visit, activities they would like to try, concerts they want to attend and maybe even new foods they'd like to eat. Don't worry if you can't think of everything right now; there will be plenty of time to modify and add to your list, as you no longer have to wait until the twilight years to start it. The concept has become so popular that the internet is teeming with blogs about enjoying life and fulfilling bucket list activities.

So, you start out with a list. It could be 10 or 100 items, and it might seem a bit overwhelming. These pie-in-thesky dreams, although definitely exciting, may seem too far out of reach for the average human being, and before long, this lengthy list with all of your fanciful dreams is shoved deep in a drawer and forgotten. Along with that forgotten list, the desires and hopes that were recorded slowly fade until

there's nothing but regrets about the things you could have done. Maybe, when you realize how close you are to the average life expectancy, you might try again, but you just don't have the energy anymore to climb Mount Kilimanjaro or hike the Appalachian Trail.

Here are some tips to get through your bucket list no matter what age you are when you start it. Write down anything and everything that thrills you over the thought of carrying it out. Next, prioritize and choose the three to five things you most want to do. What do you need to do in order to pursue any one of these items? For instance, if you want to fly a plane, you'll need to get a pilot's license, or at least take flying lessons toward that goal. You'll need access to a plane, and you'll probably have to file a flight plan. Take a look at the activity and decide if it is best to do in a particular season. These are the type of details you'll have to work on in steps.

Decide whether you need or would prefer a buddy to work with on an activity -- such as hiking the Appalachian Trail. To work with a buddy, you would have to coordinate timing and even supplies, and both of you need to be in decent physical shape. Having a bucket list buddy helps with accountability, encouraging you to actually follow through on your list. Many people simply let their lists go because no one else is watching, but holding yourself accountable by sharing your dreams is a very strong

motivator. Let your friends know about your bucket list, enlist their help and even participation and share your accomplishments when you get to cross something off as DONE. Annette White, author of "Bucket List Adventures: 10 Incredible Journeys to Experience Before You Die," said: "The reminder that our time is limited is actually one of the best gifts given. It is one that can guide us to achieve what is most important to us before it is too late."

OCTOBER 2019 SENIORLIVING 15

There are several bloggers who share their bucket list endeavors online. There are also sites where people are invited to join and post their lists within a group so everyone can see when you cross something off; each list owner begins to cheer everyone else on and is encouraged by hearing the success stories. It is never too early or too late to begin your bucket list.

Carpe diem! Seize the day and enjoy life.

209 SENIOR LIVING | STAY IN TOUCH

Conquering distance

BY TAWNY MAYA MCCRAY

Staying in touch with family and friends is so important, but as we age, changing circumstances can affect how or how often we can. With so much technology available these days, it's easier than ever for us to feel close to our loved ones no matter where they live, all from the comfort and safety of our own home. By embracing technology, older adults have access to more frequent communication with loved ones, reconnecting with others and keeping up with community developments.

Seniors can become disconnected or isolated due to a number of reasons -distance, mobility challenges, health, finances, etc. But baby boomers and other older generations are doing more and more these days to not let these circumstances get in the way of family.

Older adults have been the fastestgrowing age group online for some time, and the Pew Research Center Internet and American Life project says that more than half of them are using the internet. Now families are free to come up with their own structures for staying in touch.

Sherry Engberg, 75, of Julian, California, says technology is the main way she and her husband, Bob, connect with their two kids. Their daughter, Catherine, lives in the Bay Area with her husband, Tom, and kids, 11-yearold Elsa and 8-year-old Cedric. Their son, Brock, lives in San Diego.

"Technology really helps us," Engberg says. "When Bob and I were first married (over 50 years ago) and living away from my parents, we couldn't afford to phone 'long distance' unless it was an emergency. So, I wrote my parents letters when I had time, but we were pretty out of touch." With texts, email, Facebook and sometimes Apple FaceTime, an iPhone video chat app, they can talk easier, more frequently and even see one another without being together.

It's hard to beat spending time in person, and technology can create more opportunities to travel. Sherry and Bob also visit their kids regularly, seeing Brock every month or two and Catherine three or four times a year.

The Engbergs are avid campers who set out on the road several times a year in

their camper van, visiting Catherine and her family when their road trip takes them through the Bay Area.

Other times, Engberg says, she'll find a cheap flight and spend a few days with them. "Some visits have been what we call 'Grandma Camp,'" Engberg said.

"The kids might have a few days of school vacation while Cath and Tom have to work, so I hang out and do stuff with the kids. It's such fun." Whether a planned trip or spur-of-the-moment adventure is wanted, keeping an eye on good travel deals can ensure seniors get quality in-person time. Websites like Expedia.com and Skyscanner.com offer cheap flights, and they can even set up alerts so they are notified when one in or below their price range shows up.

For families who are on the go or international, mobile apps are a great way to keep in touch. Kathy Meagher of San Diego regularly communicates with her two daughters, Anne, who lives in Vancouver, Washington, and Sarah, who lives in London, through texts, Facebook and WhatsApp, a free smartphone messaging app owned by Facebook. WhatsApp works just like

OCTOBER 2019 SENIORLIVING 16

regular texting and allows users to make free international calls, as well.

It's a great way to keep up with them, their spouses and her five grandkids, ages 2 to 14. Her daughters send pictures and videos of her grandkids, like a recent video of Sarah's eldest son, Sam, playing violin at a school assembly in London, so she can feel a part of their experiences and accomplishments.

Both of her daughters have lived away from San Diego since the late 1990s, when the only real option of staying in touch was an old-fashioned phone call.

"Technology has helped, because with calling you just leave a message and generally don't hear back," she says.

With new devices and applications, not even an ocean, a time difference or international phone charges get in the way of family.

The variety of technology means that seniors and families get to choose what they're comfortable using and what works best for them, bridging the gap to make sure all of life's precious moments are experienced by all.

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