TT04 English

Everything is upside-down!

At least my leader photograph. Apart from that, everything else is correct. Or maybe my picture is the only thing correct?

It’s said that, if anything has been done for two years at Ås, everyone thinks it’s just how it has always been. In that case, it’s good that it’s only been two years since the last Tun & Tre, so our faith on how it has always been continues for at least two more years! You can read about the bakground for the Tun & Tre in Tords column “By the decade” (which I hope everyone reads, because it contains many amusing, surprising and fascinating historical facts about Tuntreet, but it is influenced and reflects the student society at Ås in general).

and a privilege. Rescuing us this time are are quizzes with shocking results, engaging intervues, sensational revelations and some additional snacks. I hope you read this with a glimt in your eye - and last but not least - we are trying out the board game on the back page to the middle page! After you have torn it out, it’s a very useful piece of paper, because on the other other side there is a decorative centrefold which can be displayed on your wall.

But enjoy your reading. Stupid gossip and overly dramatic cases is not the worst guilty pleasure to have, and it is allowed to have fun. In spite of it not being as easy to have fun these days.

In this edition, we’ll approach a few cases on a different way than we usual do, but it’s good with a bit of variety in your schedule! As for me, most days are just as boring as the other. To have Tuntreet as a project is a saviour

Guro Størdal Editor-in-chief tuntreet@samfunnetiaas.no

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STAFF EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Guro Størdal MANAGING EDITOR Tord Kristian Fjellheim Andersen

JOURNALISTS Sofie Bergset Janols Iris van Brunschot Elina Turbiná Nora Helgeland Ingrid Åsbø Sondov Ragne Kyllingstad Maiken Halvorsen Julie Westergaard Karlsen

CHIEF PHOTOGRAPHER Nathalie Genevieve Bjørneby PHOTOGRAPHERS Simen Walbækken Tangen Åsne Sørlie-Nordnes Margreta Brunborg Lina Grünbeck Ruben Rygh CHIEF PROOF-READER Kristin Gilboe

D SELECTE POEM

Under the harsh reality of Covid I’ve started to cut my hair To afford a Lager Because in contrast to me My thirst is not meager I still struggle with marketing Customer seduction To show that I can summon a beautiful mane Either you’ve got a hippie hairdo Or a bald head So how shall I save myself from capsized PR? How about I hide in a poem, in a local student newspaper?

Thomas Reime Berthelsen

F O E C I O H C CHAMPAGNE

Pusen Brede - Despite distance between students, there are some things that won’t change, fortunately.

Pusen Brede is just as uninterested as always. No matter how much I try to pet, he just walks in the other direction. Here’s a shout out to this monument for a some normality in these strange times.

’S R O T I D E G MANAGIN SPRING TIPS

Summer is approaching, and the exam period is, as you say in the world of cars “closer to reality than what is shown in the mirror”.

This is our number two with full shutdown for us at Ås, and we’re starting to run out of ideas on how to entertain ourselves. What can we do? Read for exams? No, read these tips on what to do this spring!

Get lost in the woods! Go off the path, and don’t check your phone. A lot of people go for walks nowadays, usually to fight the boredom, but also to experience nature. But I must ask, have you ever tried to experience the nature on its own terms?

Campus is mostly undisturbed, so if you have ever wanted to go camping on the lawn in front of the Clockbuilding, TF-lawn or maybe on the duck island, the time is now. (See TT07 2015) The government wants us to sit inside, mostly. So count all the places you have been sitting! On the chair, the sofa, the bed, the other chair, the floor, the kitchen counter, the table, the oven (remember to turn it off, first), in the shower cabinet and on the toilet. You are only limited by your creativity!

Just, don’t get stuck.

Count the days you can hold out until all your clothes are grimy and need a wash. Maybe you’ll set a new personal record? Use the same strategy on the dishes, but this is only recommended if you want a real reprimand by your cohabitants.

Tord Kristian Fjellheim Andersen Managing editor PROOF-READERS Rebecca Biong Hedda Mathilde Jørgensen Sunniva Steiro Solveig Johansen LAYOUT Martine Hana Løken Linnea Laubo Sara Thu Jon Eivin Kivle Emilie Waldahl

GAMES MISTRESS Tilde Skåtun CHIEF TRANSLATOR Benjamin Alexander Faulkner TRANSLATORS Aleksander Mæland Munkejord Sofie Palmstrøm Thea Samskott Celine Våga Pauline Marie Søndenå Amalie Pedersen Brønmo

DISTRIBUTION Annlaug Pijfers Ingvild Munz ILLUSTRATIONS Oda Braar Wæge Pauline Hovland POMME D’TERRE Herman Bjørnson Hagen

Tuntreet, a part of Studentsamfunnet in Ås Tuntreet, Postboks 1211 1432 Ås Email: tuntreet@samfunnetiaas.no www.tuntreet.org Printed: Press: BK Grafisk, Sandefjord

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Cover page: Herman Bjørnson Hagen Centrefold: Nathalie Genevieve Bjørneby

?

U O Y E R A N O I T WHICH MUTA Corona is a topic hotter than ever before. Just as relevant as it was last year. Who would have thought? Is corona the new Crocs? In the same way as Crocs has released new editions, we now see that Covid has begun to differentiate its marketing.

Right now, the English, Brazilian and South African editions are “hot” in Norway. Which of these should YOU go for? Which suits you the best?

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Which traditional dish appeals most to you?

A: Feijoda B: Bobotie C: Yorkshire Pudding

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5

Favorite colour?

A: Rainforest green B: Hard to decide C: Royal red

7

Which of these dance styles transports you to dance heaven?

A: Samba B: Swing C: Chicken dance

TEXT: SOFIE BERGSET JANOLS ILLUSTRATION: ODA BRAAR WÆGE

Best day of the week?

A: Friday B: Saturday C: Monday

Go-to-drink?

A: Coffee B: Smoothie C: Tea

Dream vacation?

A: Strolling around a city that combines beaches and the sun with a large statue of Jesus B: Voyage of discovery to an island where political prisoners used to spend jail time C: Driving a Bentley between grand, haunted castles in a land of many castles

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Who is the best fotball player? (subjectively speaking) A: Neymar B:Benni McCarthy C: David Beckham

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8 Who are you in the gang?

A: The lively one! You are never boring! You are actually deadly cool. Every day with you is like the Carnival of the year!! Ai caramba!

B: The mysterious. Who you are, what you want, how dangerous you really are – that is hard to say. But you are still a part of the group. It would not have been the same without you.

C: The tough one? On the outside you may seem like a real punk, but what the others don´t know is that you are a real closetmonarchist. You love everything that has to do with the Royal Family…

10 Do you have trouble leaving people alone even though they make it evidently clear that they do not want you close and do everything they can to avoid you?

A: Yes B: Yes C: Yes

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Where do you wish you grew up?

A: Not so far from the equator B: The southern hemisphere C: Quite a bit north (I get sunburnt easily)

ANSWERS TO GAMES TT03:

Mostly A: You are most compatible with the Brazilian mutation. With some hefty moves and a contagious mood, you´ll be the center of attention of the party. The party does not end until you say so, even though some of us standing on the side are tired and very much would like you to chill/quit/go away.

Mostly B: If you got more B´s you may say with pride that you most resemble the South African mutation. Mysterious as few - what really is the deal with you? Nobody knows. You are efficient, as you’ve managed to shut down all of Bodø! What do you have against the northerners? Huh? Huh? Sorry, did not mean that. Don´t take me, please leave me alone! *Puts on a mask and avoids Vestby* Mostly C: Most C´s? You are most compatible with the British edition.

Because you like The Crown and “corona” is the Spanish word for crown. You know what they say: “Same drops play the best” (Or something like that). The problem is that everyone else is tired of your playing.

Could you go and play somewhere else, preferably somewhere desolate, where there are no people or animals or anything that can catch your droplets? Like a cave or something, or maybe space?

t e d n a l Gay på n e b u k I praises B

Cutting the bullshit

Gay på Land

ON S I U B NM E C I N I H T

DOPE!

et’s board m

yi Fighting the patriarch ab ny ma s' pu cam one of ha y all fin of gs lin fee the campus.

January saw the opening of a very important concrete block on the campus in Ås - BIkuben aka the Beehive was aiming to become the place everyone wants to bee. A place for all of us we were supposed to see equity and inclusivity in every centimetre of this beelding. And, of course, Gay på Landet are the rightful owners of this spot, it is BI-kuben, after all.

ember Gigi Li

Tun & Tre believes that all communities should be celebrated! Two members from Gay på Landet defied the restrictions and put together a celebration for their new clubhouse. We followed them to the exclusive party of the bees and the bis; the gays and other guys. And we can say this much: the atmosphere was contagious! sh.

e Clock ming th ck building a n e r r o O to the C ow much Building fh o t n ? tame d so far as a tes s sucke a h r a e this y

QUEEN BEE

FIGHTING THE PATRIARCHY

on omas takes a breather is exhausting. While Th in nta co ’t ilities, Gigi can bandoned hang out fac for the community on ce pla ted aving a designa The whole Gay på Landet community was invited to the party, but due to the restrictions, only two people were allowed to bi there. Thomas and Gigi ended up partying by themselves. The others were there in spirit (specifically, sparkling wine).

“We are very happy that NMBU has finally chosen to better represent the student population. We have seen them using the Pride flag sometimes during summer earlier, so I guess that was some sort of foreshadowing, which I think is really cool! This is a great start, but there is, of course, a long way to go. I have, for example, heard of a male office at the campus? I have never been there because I hate men, but I hope

To bi or not to bee - that izz the question.

they will make all offices available for all genders soon.

I wonder what the next project will be! Maybe new lawns, seeing as our community is so used to being stepped on? Or renaming the Clock Building to the Cock building as a testament of how much this year has sucked so far?”, comments Thomas Reime Berthelsen, the leader of Gay på Landet.

Tun & Tre totally supports Thomas and Gigi and their hopes for more inclusivity at the university. June is the month of Pride. It is also the month of the block courses, and beekeeping (HFX208) is our hottest tip for you if you want to support both bees and bis this summer.

Digital Coronation of the Queen Bee of Bikuben

Tun & Tre can’t wait to swarm the Hive again, all hummingbirds and honeybis are welcomed to the feast!

But for now,

good bi.

TEXT: ELINA TURBINÁ RAGNE KYLLINGSTAD PHOTO: LINA GRÜNBECK

REVEALS

E

SIÅS COMMITS GRAV

S N O I T A L O I V HUMAN RIGHTS Note: All interviewees have been anonymized for security reasons Tun & Tre has revealed that SiÅs has committed severe violations of the human rights by forcing the students’ mail to also live in collectives. We demand that SiÅs immediately expands its post office and changes the regulations saying that students must share a mailbox with one or two complete strangers.

The post office is too small “The post office is too small for everyone to get their own mailbox. Most people have to share a mailbox with somebody else”, it says on SiÅs’ website. Furthermore, SiÅs informs that you must not remove mail with another name, and report to LUKA if no one picks it up. Not only do you have to share your mail with others, but you are also responsible for other people’s mail?! This is unacceptable, and a far too heavy burden to put on already exhausted students.

Violation of the Constitution and the UN Human Rights The Constitution is not a subject for interpretation. § 102 clearly states that “Everyone has the right to respect his or her private life and family life, home and communication.” According to Store Norske Leksikon, communication involves the dissemination of ideas and information. NDLA (any student’s guilty pleasure) claims that a letter is written

information sent from one place to another.

The same goes for article 12 in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, saying that “no one must be exposed to interference in private life, family, home and correspondence [...]” the Constitution and Human Rights are clear; we have the right to private communication, aka letters, aka mail, aka mailbox. SiÅs refuses to respect this right by ordering the students to interfere in each other’s correspondence. This is completely unacceptable, according to several tenants.

The students are badly affected. We have spoken to several students becoming a victim to the gross violations of the Human Rights. Among them is Agent Chickpeas, who feels that a shared mailbox has been stressful during these corona times. “The walk to post office has been a nice break from everyday life during the pandemic”,

says the victim. My heart almost jumped out of my chest whenever the victim saw that there was mail in the box, but it usually turned out to be too good to be true. “The mail was usually sent to the person I was sharing with, which hit me in deep places I didn’t know I had”, the victim manages to say through the tears.

There are plenty of horror stories. A first-year student reveals that he once received a package at the same time as his mailbox buddy. “The box was so tight that the packages got stuck. When I tried to get mine out, it fell out and behind the postbox, and I guess it is still laying there covered in dust”.

We can also tell you about how the international students are suffering.

Many handle the culture shock in Norway though postal correspondence with their home country, and the lack of private communication contributes to an increase in stress and homesickness. Miss Cadbury

reveals that she constantly feels insecure and exposed with a shared mailbox. “I feel my post will not be kept safe as I do not know who I am sharing my postbox with”, she says flickering her eyes feverishly around in search of danger.

Agent Chickpeas concludes that, after all, it can be nice to share a mailbox. You feel like you get to know the other person, in a way. “For example, I share a mailbox with someone who has not collected their bills in three weeks. He seems like a person I would like!” But what if the person you share a postbox with is not as nice as Mister Don’t-Pay-the-Bills?

What if you share with a psychopath?

There is a little chance of it, we do live in Ås after all. But the chances of being hit by a meteorite, get pregnant with twins, find a four-leaf clover or being named Oddlaug in 2021 are also small. Despite this, the meteorite Ann Hodges fell in 1954, and there are currently 750 named Oddlaug in Norway. In other words, you might share a mailbox with a psychopath, even if you live in Ås. What will you do then?

It depends on what kind of psychopath you meet. If somebody likes to spy on

you, Tun & Tre recommends that you deliberately mislead them. This is done by repeatedly writing a letter to a fictional person and putting it in your shared mailbox. If the psychopath steals your mail, the easiest thing to do is to retaliate.

In SiÅs’ limited post office, the rules are: an eye for an eye and a letter for a letter.

Another solution to avoid the unpredictable mailbox partners is to rent a private room in town. Mozzarella Stick, a student who does this in Ås, confirms that it is nice to share a mailbox with people you know. “Since we know each other, we have a mutual respect for each other’s mail, which I believe can be a problem with random people”.

Hypocracy. After reading the five e-mail virtues in TT02 (page 18), I sat down to write an extremely well-formulated e-mail to SiÅs’ post office. What do they have to say for themselves after being subjected to these serious accusations?

The student welfare organization has shockingly enough chosen not to comment, which we consider quite problematic for the student democracy.

Last year, Tuntreet wrote an article about

SiÅs’ lack of transparency and hiding of information – accusations that are greatly emphasized by the human rights violations.

Not all sharing is caring Some things, included mailboxes, are not meant to be shared. It is a human right to be able to communicate in a private way, and we believe that students are also human. SiÅs clearly does not agree, as they refrain from commenting on the matter.

Although the students have been victims of violations of both the Constitution and human rights for a long time, we have had enough. The Economy cantina is empty, the Duck House can be expanded or the tower of Tårnbygningen can be given up for mailbox use. There are plenty of alternative places, but no more excuses.

On behalf of all SiÅs tenants, Tun & Tre hereby expects that the student welfare organization immediately expands its postal facility, and makes sure that the students can get their own private mailbox.

TEKST: IRIS VAN BRUNSCHOT FOTO: TORD KRISTIAN F. ANDERSEN

Geomatics-Ivar is NMBUs

Sherlock Holmes

Tun&Tre has scored an exclusive interview with no other than Ivar Maalen-Johansen. He is an ace up the police sleeve when they need help solving difficult crimes! It all began with one of Norway´s worst serial killers.

The serial killer in Tistedalen Tistedalen is a small village not far from Halden. In the early 90s, we witnessed a violent serial killer harassing the otherwise innocent village. It started in 1991, two siblings in their seventies were found brutally murdered by knife in their own house, which was swept for money, 60.000 NOK is still missing! The police called in over 700 witnesses for interrogation but got nowhere.

The investigation came to a halt.

One year later, a 71-year-old man was reported missing, a rifle was gone, and his car was found near a forest. The police deemed it a disappearance but did not commence the investigation. Seven months later, the man was found by some neighbor kids looking for a lost football. He was found with terminal knife wounds and dumped in his own compost. Simultaneously, Glenne

Sparebank, about 5 km away from Tistedal, was robbed with a rifle. There were good videotapes and sound recordings from the bank, which turned out to be quite important.

The day before Christmas in 1992, a 54-year-old grocer in Tisedal was shot in the back. It turned out to be a robbery, but the robber grabbed the wrong bag and did not collect the 79 000 NOK from the

Exclusi ve intervu e register, but 2 liters of milk and some lamb ribs.

The cases were eventually seen in relation to the previous murderers, and Kripos was called in. When the sound recordings were played on NRK, the police got many tips that Roger Haglund could be behind the robbery.

This is where Ivar enters our story. Ivar’s boss at the time, Øystein Andresen, approached Ivar (who was new to NHL (which was NMBU’s name at the time)). He brought a report from the geomatics firm Metumir from Gothenburg which stated that the robber in Tistedalen was 12 cm taller than Roger Haglund, the police’s main suspect.

Ivar and Øystein rolled up their sleeves, and Ivar energetically explains how they faxed the police their results. The new height matched Roger Haglund, and 20 minutes later he was arrested. After a longer trial he was given the strictest sentence of 21 years of prison and detainment. Ivar was suddenly an ace up the police sleeve. The following 10 years he worked on over 30 robberies.

The method So how does this simple method actually work? Ivar receives a video of the robbery, which he goes through to see if it is possible to determine the robber’s height. Then he goes to the bank (which hopefully has not moved the camera), bringing a 2-meter leveling metre. He records a new VHSvideotape where he places the 2-meter leveling rod at the exact same location as where the robber was standing. Now he can compare the images and interpret the pixel coordinates in the photo of the robber. By using the same pixel coordinates in the photo of the leveling rod he can decipher how tall the robber is. Ivar cleverly explains “The entire point of geomatics is that one single measurement is no measurement”, which is why he always takes multiple photos and in time can do a 95% certain estimate of the robber’s height.

It becomes apparent that when Ivar worked the robbery cases, the technology was old fashion, even in the 90s. According to him, most camera systems were installed in the 60s and the VHS-tapes were played so many times, they were in poor condition.

Besides, VHS is not a pixel format we find in digital cameras today. VHS is made on a magnetic tape, thus a lot of time was spent transferring images from VHS to PC, where Ivar could compare the imagery. For some time, Ivar was in contact with security firms working on camera systems, working out solutions to improve image quality.

One can ask oneself whether the quality has improved, when one sees photos from newer cases. There are literally memes about how poor the quality of security footage is compared to the images we have of Mars.

Expert witness in court Ivar informs how he usually just sent the police a report with the probable height. The robbery network in the 90s and 00s was so tight, the police had a short list of robbers, Ivar’s reports crossed out many because of their height. The report was very handy for the police in the early investigations when they had not yet crossed off any suspects.

In some cases, Ivar had to show up in court, and it was important to seem more serious than how he describes himself; as a man with timely and untimely jokes. He recalls once preparing with the prosecutors ahead of a case where a famous lawyer John Christian Elden was the robber’s defender.

Ivar was strictly told to only answer when he had professional opinions. If he commented anything else, Elden would question his abilities to estimate

THE WHOLE POINT OF GEOMATICS IS THAT A SINGLE MEASUREMENT IS NO MEASUREMENT

heights. Ivar was not fooled by Elden, but on his way to another court session he messed up.

Ivar had been at work at TF before heading into Oslo for court, but suddenly, the court time approached rapidly. The decision to speed towards Oslo seemed to work well up until a patrolling vehicle waved him in.

Luckily for Ivar, he was just a bit too slow to lose his license on the spot. However, The disappointment

ght Cau ing d spee

was great when he arrived and the court clerk told him the trial was behind on time, and Ivar did not have to enter for another two hours.

Cash money flow. Ivar has worked on many cases throughout his time. During the opening ceremony for the Lillehammer Olympics in 1994, Pål Enger openly stood on a ladder outside the National Gallery.

He stole The Scream while the police were busy with the opening ceremony. The theft gave The Scream a lot of media attention and it gained way more recognition. Here Ivar discloses that he measured the height of the man on the ladder. “The images were relatively bad, but I got the entire body, so it was possible to get a decent calculation of the height”.

One of the things that astounds me while interviewing Ivar is amount of robberies there were in the 90s and early 00s. Ivar explains that every post office

and bank had way more cash. The debit card that almost everyone uses today, was not particularly popular. Hence the vendors and businesses had gathered a lot of cash by closing time. When the money was moved to banks or in-between two banks there suddenly was a lot of money in one place.

In newer times and with less physical cash, there have been fewer robberies of that kind.

Ivar explains that he also was sent a tape from the fatal NOKAS robbery in Stavanger.

The robbery was very professional, the 5-6 robbers in the locale were dressed the same and impossible to differentiate. Thus, it was impossible to determine the robbers’ heights with enough certainty.

This would be the last robbery case Ivar was involved in. He has, on the other hand, been a part of solving some border cases and a case on low-flying helicopters these last few years.

When we meet to take photos for this article a couple of days later, Ivar remembered that he has helped the police in the ongoing investigation of the

Lørenskog disappearance. Anne-Elisabeth Hagen disappeared October 31st, 2018 and has yet to be found. Since then, her husband Tom Hagen has been charged for murder or accessory to murder, but a final conclusion has not been made yet. In most cases, he could have taught the police how to do what he does, but the police wanted him as an independent witness. Ivar was sent a report where the police had tried to estimate the height of a possible perpetrator using some low-quality images. “They had cropped the photos” Ivar says, clearly not impressed by their technique. He has now also tried to measure the height, but it is not

THEY HAD CROPPED THE PHOTOS too certain, given the photo’s low quality.

All that remains is seeing if we get to watch Ivar as a witness in the Lørenskog case.

TEXT AND PHOTO: SIMEN WALBÆKKEN TANGEN

FASHION POLICE Zoom edition Tun & Tre review of the newly electee’s GA-outfits

TEXT: TORD KRISTIAN F. ANDERSEN

For the third time in a row, the General Assembly of Studentsamfunnet I Ås was a digital show. For the occasion, Tun & Tre’s fashion police is at the scene once again. This time, we only focus on the torso, as we were not able to verify whether the candidates were even wearing pants.

Jørgen Bonden Student and elected Chief of UKA OUTFIT: The blue-gray color of the shirt makes a good contrast to the rest of you, giving a semiformal, but playful look. The headset almost merges with the hair and gives you extra-large ears and a beastly expression. This unpredictability steps everything up a notch for me. Cool!

Sigrid Lyslo Wilhelmsen Student and elected Head of Administration, UKA. OUTFIT: Hermes sweater. The burgundy plays well with the natural skin-tones, and really boosts the overall impression without being deafening. A safe and well-proven choice.

Hanna Steine Student and elected Head of Events, UKA. OUTFIT: Burberry sweater.

Oh, Hanna! The sweater has some exciting colors, but the texture of the fabric makes you a bit older than you might wish. It gives you an aura of authority, but at the cost of your youthful glow. An obviously calculated choice, but there are better alternatives.

Ingeborg Olsdatter Ohren Nordraak Student and elected Head of Serving, UKA. OUTFIT:Valentino sweater. Ingeborg! You are one step ahead of the trends of both spring, summer and fall, as you barge in with the freshest palette colors of all time.

Isak Rakstang Student and elected Head of Marketing, UKA. OUTFIT: T-shirt from Givenchy and a headset from Beyerdynamic.

The dark gray may not be the most exciting, but it goes well with the headset, which binds it all up, frames the face and directs the attention to where it belongs. I am really missing something here to take it even further, but a decent look for the time being.

Mathilde Jordal Breivik Student and elected Head of Revues, UKA OUTFIT: Shirt from Prada and Kate Spade glasses. This outfit has obviously felt the touch of King Midas, this is gold! Floating on the upper layer of smart casual, bringing it all together to a “business AND pleasure”-look we will not forget anytime soon.

Jørgen Måleng Student and elected Head of Finance, UKA OUTFIT: Lacoste sweater, shirt from H&M and Apple Airpod. I see a lot of potential in your outfit, Jørgen, but it lacks a little something to make the look iconic.

Even though it is very well executed, the “dad pays”-chic is old news. Big plus for crackling colors, but this will not take you to the top.

Hans-Kristian Undlien Taje Student and elected Head of House, UKA OUTFIT: T-shirt from Balenciaga Taje, this is just a white t-shirt, where is the text? A very safe and non-controversial choice which should have seen some more effort.

!

!

Hedda MejlænderLarsen Student and elected Leader of Samfunnet OUTFIT: T-shirt from Fendi and Ray-Bans A white t-shirt is way too neutral and safe for my taste, but you manage to save it with some cool glasses to frame the face, and a truly trendy haircut.

Kristoffer Rønning Student and elected Head of Events, Samfunnet OUTFIT: Hugo Boss sweater. Kristoffer, this could have been better.

Give me something to talk about! I see nothing to put my finger on here, and that is not wrong in itself, but a black sweater doesn’t provoke anyone. This outfit seems a little unprepared.

Siril Bjørke Student and elected head of Career Day, Business Committee OUTFIT: Versace sweater, t-shirt from Gucci, headset from Urbanista and Heritage glasses.

Wow! Med fire ulike elementer fra vidt forskjellige verdener, og store kontrastfarger skulle man tro at det opplevdes kaotisk, men disse lagene jobber opp mot hverandre for å skape en dynamisk look som jeg sent vil glemme. Dette er GF-antrekk på sitt beste.

Even Brede Sillerud Student and elected Sponsorship Coordinator, Business Committee OUTFIT: T-shirt from Tommy Hilfiger and Bose headset Even, Even, Even… Did you log in to the GA straight from The Gathering? All black may have been popular when The Matrix was released back in 1999, but since then humanity has found better ways. Think biggeR! WE know you have it in you.

Katrine Løvheim Kleppang Student and elected member of the Election committee OUTFIT: Hand knit sweater. Dette var imponerende Katrine! I am impressed, Katrine!

While everyone else wastes their money on expensive brands you go as the Wife Against the Stream and make a delightful sweater yourself. I am looking for more exciting colors, but the pattern is a big plus. Nice!

Synne Strømmen Student and elected Head of Finance, Samfunnet OUTFIT: Sweater from Yves Saint Laurent and Beats earpods.

What could have been a boring outfit, is instead an exercise of oldmeets-new, with a conservative sweater and modern earpods. This is some real retro-futurism we would love to see more of. Cool!

Simen Walbækken Tangen Student and elected Editor of Tuntreet OUTFIT: Busserull from Giorgio Armani and a t-shirt from Det Gylne Anker Wow Simen!

You manage to bring forth fashion from a century ago and modernize it to the current times. The blue plays well against your eyes, and contrasts nicely to the hair. Striped t-shirt under a striped busserull is a brave choice, but you make it work!

Linda Cecilie Olsen Student and elected Head of Events, Business Committee OUTFIT: Sweater from Louis Vuitton Even though the outfit honestly is not my preferred style, the stylishness speaks for itself. The bright color lets your face glow like a sun and offers no distractions.

Fimke Frederika Pijfers Student and elected Student Representative for the Board of House and Finance OUTFIT: Dior Sweater and Damiani jewelry.

Fimke, this was boring. Are you attending GA or a Confirmation Camp? The colors seem very yesteryear, and even if the jewelry helps to break it up, it gives the outfit all the wrong vibes. We expect better from you on the next Zoom.

Sivert Hennum Student and elected Member of the Election Committee O U T F I T: C h a n e l hoodie Green is lean! And Sivert gets what that means!

This is minimalistic and makes you seem certain of yourself, but it also makes you approachable, with your feet on the ground. A hoodie still is not that exciting, but the color makes up for a lot of that.

THE OFFICIAL

COVID-19 E S R U O C H S CRA

Dear readers, you reckless little half-person, half-student monstrosities! Looks like you have been seriously slacking this semester. COVID-19 course (goes by the course-ID COV019) has been trendy not only at NMBU but also pretty much all around the world. Getting an A+ in Covid Sciences requires you to practice day and night for the final test. It is there to prove the title you have been graciously given by not only our sweet municipality officials but also our fellow society members in general.

Tun & Tre encourages you to take advantage of the potential society reopening and practice your way up to the perfect exam. We present to you our official crash course on acing the COV019 test. Get your notebooks ready, it is time to make your family proud.

You are now entering the No Hygiene Zone Starting off with the most obvious tip of them all - stop motherfricking washing your hands and having any precautions when it comes to the safety of others! Class of Covid Sciences is not for sissy boys that care about their hygiene, so do not hesitate with throwing away your masks and disinfectants.

Social animal, gym rat Next up - get your old routine back as soon as the restrictions ease up. We are talking about going to the gym (it is scientifically proven that you are in most luck if you go to Eika), going on shopping trips to malls and coffee dates in all sorts of hip cafés. Being in social spots with a very diverse crowd of people shows your dedication to the cause, and it will not go unnoticed during the exam.

Single and ready to mingle Nothing helps meeting new people more than a good old game of fishing, sliding and hanging. Want to meet a random person you know close to nothing about? It helps to seek out a good match during covid because you already know that they are also taking this exam seriously. And you know how important it is to share the same values with your potential mate! Flex your flirting muscles and you might end up with a great reward. And when you succeed in getting this person out on a date, do not forget to touch! Like, a lot!

Bad techno, good vibes Do not think we have forgotten about that sweet vors (preparty) and nach (afterparty) goodness: invite your friends over for a house fest! Make them invite their friends! We understand that this one could be a bit challenging, as most people have been pretty reluctant to go out during these times, so use your nature-given (or acquired!) awkward Nordic charm to lure as many people in as possible. Extra points for inviting a bunch of high schoolers (of legal drinking age!) since the spread is very good in schools nowadays. Pick a good bad techno playlist, share alcohol bottles, improvise some choreography - all these things can further your chance of getting a lucky try at a COV019 test. Get your nasty out!

Dørene lukkes We are in such a great geographical position being this close to the ultimate covid capital of Norway that we have to utilize our opportunities as much as possible. Get to know Oslo by taking all five T-bane lines, get on those old trams, or listen to some squeaky bus door sounds. The privilege of taking Oslo’s public transport can help you out a lot if you want that sweet covid exposure. We recommend rush hours for the most immersive experience.

No way, Norway!

Now that you have hung around the capital for a bit, it is time to get your suitcase packed up, your cheap ticket booked, and your terrible airport food served - you are going to explore this beautiful country! From Tromsø to Kristiansand, visit every part of Norway that you forgot to care about before the lockdown hit.

Cabin fun If you are not interested in a lot of long-distance travelling, utilize the privileges of living a “detached” and “simple life” - go on a hyttetur, baby! If you do not have your own cabin, you can always ask your friends to share keys for one. Or rent one out. Or invite your friends and that dating app match to a cabin party if you are an overachiever. Staying at a cabin is a great way to create an illusion of doing something good for society and the environment. We love performative humbleness!

Testing, Testing, 1-2-3 Book your appointment as soon as you suspect some symptoms coming through. It means you are ready to take the COV019 test! Come into the testing site confidently, with some good, dramatic soundtrack in your earbuds (we recommend “The Final Countdown” by Europe). Make mildly funny banter with the nurses, breathe in deeply, and let the stick do its disgusting job. And then wait two to four days to find out if you have passed your examination.

Congratulations, you are positive!

The ultimate secret to success in COV019 course is to pretend you have not been struggling as much as the rest of the world in the past year and to forget about all the limitations this pandemic has brought on you. There is “super” in “superspreader” for a reason. Good luck, you nasty piece of student!

TEXT: ELINA TURBINÁ PHOTO: NATHALIE GENEVIEVE BJØRNEBY

The hidden corona vict ims

THIEVING RONJA AND PERNILLE THE RASCAL OPEN UP “Come in”, Thieving Ronja says cheerfully, and invites us into a back alley. The colleagues – but, first and foremost, friends, Thieving Ronja and Pernille the Rascal have been kind enough to invite us “home” to the office – a lousy alley not far from Pentagon. “This is my favorite alley! There’s something about the graffiti that inspires me, it has a very criminal look”, Pernille tells us. I willingly enter the alley, which has a cozy, vandalized feel to it. Nothing says dangerous criminals like penis art and swearwords.

What YOU can do to help Applaud the criminals from your balcony Keep your electronics and bunad outside Disinfect your valuables Send your bike to Sweden Go to a Vazelina-concert – a god tip, no matter what Check the email spam for fraud attempts Highly affected by the pandemic.

Thieving Ronja and Pernille the Rascal may not seem concerned, but that is far from the truth. Just like the rest of us, they are very much affected by the pandemic. “Everyone’s home all the time! It’s impossible to steal anything”, Thieving Ronja says hopelessly.

“Not only that, but a lot of people have gotten sleeping issues, so there’s no use trying to break in at night either!” Pernille the Rascal says.

been working from home.

“In the beginning, I pretended to be an African prince, with a large inheritance to give away.

But I quit it after Pernille the Rascal pointed out that I was upholding harmful stereotypes.

Now I’m advertising fake Vazelina-concerts on Facebook. That way, I can keep reaching the same audience (Editor’s note: NMBU students). But it’s hard getting people to trust you with a name like mine. It ain’t easy being called Thieving Ronja.”

The pairs’ problems are lining up. Now that the students are even poorer than usual, it’s harder to steal from them. Even stealing bikes has become harder to do.

“Luckily ,the bikes are kept outdoors, but it’s impossible to sell them, now that the Swedish borders are closed. And nobody even disinfects them!”

Feel let down by the municipality.

Despite their entrepreneurship, they are both having financial issues. Like the students, they are not getting any compensation for their loss of income.

Neither do they get the opportunity to take on a bunch of extra loans that have to be paid back. “Before, I could always trust the local authorities. The municipality has always had my back, and never given a damn about the bike thefts in Pentagon,”

Thieving Ronja has by no means been loafing around. Like most others, she has

Thieving Ronja tells us. “But it’s different now.”

For Pernille the Rascal, the hardest part is the lack of acknowledgement. “Ås Avis and the municipality physician don’t give a damn about my situation, they’re only focused on the students.” Pernille the Rascal sighs. “The fact that the municipality physician is calling each and all of the 5000 students at NMBU rascals, and not me is tough. I put incredibly much work into my mischief, but nobody cares. I feel completely invisible.”

Tun & Tre’s journalist asks if the feeling of being invisible might have something to do with their outfits – a criminally black hoodie and balaclava – but gets a can of beer thrown at her and concludes the interview.

TEXT: JULIE WESTERGAARD KARLSEN PHOTO: LINA GRÜNBECK

You’ll need strong detergents to rinse off your hands after state research funds to the universities have been distributed.

DOOMED

s n w o U NMB s d n u f y s a gre Exposed. Five years after promising to pull out of oily fund investments, Khrono revealed in March that NMBU still invests in funds with shady portfolios. This surprised both the principal, and the leader of Samfunnet, in addition to the leader of the Norwegian bioscientific research fund, who led the communication with the managers of the funds.

Pulling out Now NMBU is (finally) pulling out, meaning almost two thirds of the assets the university has invested in funds must be relocated. We are talking about 9 million NOK, making up a big part of the university’s research finances.

Tun & Tre has spoken to the leader of the fund´s board, Per Kristian Rørstad, who shared that the board has not had time to define future plans yet.

He adds: “We are hurrying slowly but hope to finish the process sometime around the fall of 2021”.

Shocked The news shocked Roy Steffensen from the Progress Party, leader of the Norwegian Parliament´s Education and Research Committee.

In a comment to Khrono he claims the university´s skepticism to oil and gas industry is hypocritical. One fifth of the national budget comes directly from the oil fund, so when universities receive millions of these funds, they can thank the oil. Criticizing the oil industry is hypocritical, according to Steffensen.

A modern-day Pontius Pilate In a comment to Nettavisen he says: “[The universities] act like a modern-day

Pontius Pilate”, who supposedly washed his hands while Jesus was crucified.

This is a betrayal against the oil and gas industry, which has built the fundament for Norwegian welfare, according to Steffensen. When receiving funds from the state, universities are, in other words, receiving salvation from fossil energy. Afterwards, principals all over the country rinse the shame off their hands and write off the oil sector as a filthy sector.

Doomed In addition to washing hands, Pontius Pilate supposedly announced Jesus’ death around these days 2000 years ago. In who’s deaths might be announced this time around, the polar bears, the koala bears, the arctic foxes and the coral reefs might not agree with Steffensen.

TEXT: RAGNE KYLLINGSTAD PHOTO AND ILLUSTRATION: ÅSNE SØRLIENORDNES

G N I N E R O F G A F S E N R E D N Ø TR INVESTIGATES

READERS’ LETTER:

HOW TO BE AS GREEN AS TRØNDELAG Easter has just passed, and many felt called to go home. Student life has been rough on many the last year. The places we usually meet others are closed, and for us trønders, our loved ones are far away. We also feel a duty to go home and find ways we can help Viken out of the chaos that has been lately. In Trøndelag, they know what they’re doing. Numerous of Trøndernes Fagforenings members have tried to get tested before going home, but were denied it by the municipality because going home isn’t considered a good enough reason to get tested. Things can’t keep being the way they are now.

Høie, the minister of Health, said on march 19th that students living alone could go home for easter. Everyone else is asked to stay home because their trip would be unnecessary. In other words, the Government is saying that a trip home for easter is considered necessary for a student.

It doesn’t help that the trønder border is ca 296 km airline from Ås. That means that Ås municipality is giving us quite a challenge, traveling 296 km from Viken the infectious to the green Trøndelag without getting tested. That’s your «71°nord»-expedition right there. Quite the show, actually, with 50 trønder students wandering around over Dovre mountains on their way home.

Some may have forgotten, but the members of TF will never forget when the chief municipality physician recommended that NMBU should expel students that were drinking in their shared housing. The proposal never got accepted, and maybe the heavy drinking disinfected many mouths and breaths?

When the discovered infection at Eika, everyone who had been there the last week were recommended to get tested. That was quite a few hundred more than Ås municipality had capacity for, which lead many people to go to Ski and Vestby to get tested. It may be an extraordinary situation,

but it shows that the municipality doesn’t know the impacts of the students that are living here.

Like many other students at Ås campus, we have tried to follow the recommendations of the Government: «Get tested». That’s not because we’ve been at big parties, met 30 people a day, had unnecessary close contacts and or not putting any effort into hygiene. The reason why we want to get tested is simple. We want to protect the ones around us. Students in Oslo are highly recommended to get tested, and even a goodie bag after their test. We have photographic evidence of this, from when one of our own went all the way to Oslo, as you can see next to this letter. It’s time the municipality takes a deep dive into it and gets their stuff together, because this is stupid.

TF sha r difficul es t times Goodiebag!

1 2 0

2

SHoT-SURVEY HELT ÆRLIG: Times have been tough, and many are struggling as a student at the moment. Making the situation better with alcohol doesn’t solve anything, except when talking about a stiff social gathering consisting of awkward Scandinavians. But honestly, we’re not going to pretend it isn’t Frydenlund beer running through the veins of most Ås-students, or that shots aren’t fun (in safe environments and in proper amounts, and if you have chosen the right type of alcohol).

lusive ial staff, we have gathered an exc Here, in the Tun & Tre-editor give to ls rna rnalists and two exte expert jury consisting of two jou ic hol alco of es tion of different typ YOU a nuanced, precise evalua us of o Tw s. g. Four shotter beverages. We meet at Frydenhau er. Iris, Mari, Nora and Sofie, gov hun lightweights, and two already spring and sober guard. The pleasant plus Maggie, our photographer The es. tim r hte s in promise of brig light shines through the treetop of e mis pro in hol percentage In this review liquor bottles are lined up by alco we have used lays ahead of ing at wh ut abo inty the followerta unc ve criteria: Pleas darker times. But, with a naï ure (with the . ure ent adv g ttin sho our ta shot), into st e, aesthetics, us, we venture pain/burning, af tertaste/afterfee ling

Nr. 2 Whisky & Tonic Whisky with lemon soda both looks and smells as if it is going to taste good, but it is a so called “tricky good” and disappoints immensely on taste. “Is it a requirement to drink the whole thing?”, Iris asks. Sofie, on the other hand, gets a good nostalgic feeling. Memories from being a teenager on an adventure in dad’s liquor cabinet, and various alcohols mixed with soda, are flooding in. For the remaining members of the jury, the nostalgia is overrun by a weird aftertaste, or, as Iris says, “Shots aren’t supposed to taste gross”.

Nr. 1 Reparation shot We start with a repair shot, 4 cl of Aass beer. Or as Mari describes it: “A tiny shot of champagne with foam”.

Nora and Sofie drink it under their masks, with a straw.

It’s hard, but it’s just about manageable. Kind of like the corona-student-situation. With expectations of champagne or a shot, the beer was a little anticlimactic for Mari: “Not the complete shot feeling”.

Full body experien ce 10/10

Kong Harald has risen from the ashes and rolls a 6 for style.

Noras’ favorite!

Nr. 3 (I´m a fireeeee) FIREBALL! (-Pitbull 2014) Even though the King is on sick leave, he took the time to come visit us here at Frydenhaug to take a ceremonial fireball shot.

Or, we found him in the ashes, and decided to bring him along for the fun (but the details aren’t that important). There is a lot of ignorance surrounding the duties of the Norwegian King, and many are perhaps oblivious to the so-called “fireball for our country”, meaning that the quality of the fireball must be checked regularly.

This little rascal of a shot also awoke Mari and Iris’ inner poets: “The shot is moving through the body. Like a smouldering feeling that just keeps on burning more and more”, Mari proclaimed. Iris agreed: “You don’t need to kiss anyone to get some spice in your throat”.

Nr. 4 JÆGER “This shot takes me back in time. Or more precisely, back to my first year here at NMBU. I can once again hear loud techno music blasting through the walls while being squeezed between the wall and 20 other sweaty people, while me and four others are drinking shots from a shot-ski and I get forty percent of the shot poured all over my t-shirt.

“Good times”, Nora recalls. RIP. Sofie gives this one -20: “I hate Jæger”.

BRETTSPILL Nr. 5 Royal Gin

T! LUSIV EN EKSEKNNE UTGAV

I KUN

D

The sent-out delegation from the Tun & Tre-editorial staff took shot Nr. five in honour of King Harald. Yes, my friends, a royal shot of London dry gin on Frydenhaug! But did the King come?

No! The King did not come (back), meaning there were more for us. Yes! (Ref. Knudsen & Ludvigsen).

But – yes, my friends, what a refreshing taste! Or, in Iris’ words, “It feels healthy since it tastes kind of like fluorine”.

The taste is quite herbal, but with an accordingly hot fire, as if your body was set ablaze! Thus, Mari can explain that it is because of this “shots are meant to COVIDbe bad”. A disagreement arose within QUARANTENE the delegation around the satisfaction regarding the shot, and the atmosphere THEtense NEXT almostSIT became on Frydenhaug.

Nevertheless, it got a 9/10 because it ROUND OUT was Sofie who recorded everything.

Sofies’ SAMLE VENNEGJENGEN rite favo

FOR EN RUNDE MED TUNTREETS EKSKLUSIVE BRETTSPILL! DERE TRENGER:

ROLL! TAKE AS MANY STEPS BACKWARDS

Nr. 6 Vodka

ICY ROAD!

Time for the gold of the potato. Here, our notes are YOU starting to become somewhat scarce. View source FACEPLANT of error (footnote: done in exponentially rising FORWARDS intoxication). But we all know the taste of vodka. What ONE STEP not everyone knows, is that a vodka shot through a straw should be avoided at all costs. Mari and Sofie know that now. 10/10 on pain. “It feels like it’s stuck in my throat”, best wishes, Sofie.

SOMEONE PLAYING WITH A CAP?

TERNING BRIKKER NOE I GLASSET! SO MUCH POWER! MOVE ONE PLAYER TWO PLACES FORWARD Jur

Eventuelle d rikkeregler: y favorit - Må du fly t e t e p la DNr. s rikk7 Tequila! s e r? tilsvarende s lurker D e off clammy With a hint a sweaty night club e førsnight te iinm dele utir l kanfavourite. in Torrevieja, Tequila an instant 10, 8becomes

, 6, og å4 slutraditional r Tequila is fun. However, we missed the k er - Rødt felt: which is what makes tequila salt-shot-lime-ritual, fellesskål actually fun. Mari’s banana was an ok replacement - Bru keWith r dua esmell (not and n kthat åloscores en really). rm?10/10, d r ik k elgwas ebuIris’ ddygag! reflex, a taste that awoke thisV shot

START

- Trillin6?theDjury. debated jury nevertheless came to el uThe t 4 sluisrka efavourite. r the conclusion that tequila It has a magical ability to bond people together. Besides, the exact tequila this evening had a “little good smoky aftertaste” – Nora. Highly recommended.

SWITCH PLACES WITH THEM!

THROWN OUT OF :( How did it go with the jury that evening? Hehe. ASAMFUNNET few hours Epilogue

and eight/nine shots later, we went from being four sensible jury members to three reasonably tipsy and “one woman down”.

TAKEEven THREE though Mari could confirm that “I have never had this STEPS many shots BACK in my entire life, I think!”, both she and Sofie felt completely fine and optimistic for what laid ahead the next day.

The forever lightweight, Iris, could give a more nuanced reflection: “Now I feel completely fine! Very strange. Early in the morning, I think I will be dead”, before she went on to talk about alcohol poisoning. We lost Nora. She “could not hold her liquor” and was down early for the count: “Sofie, I feel like I’m dying. This is not good”.

Optimism or not, the day after we could all agree on the same conclusion/advice: Don’t do this at home, outside or other places!

CHEERS! TEXT: Nora Helgeland og Sofie Bergset Janols PHOTO: Margreta Brunborg

FORGOT YOUR KEYS :( TAKE FOUR STEPS BACK TO GO GET IT

GOAL YOU WAKE UP WITH NO HANGOVER! CELEBRATE WITH TWO PINTS AND THREE STEPS FORWARD

MISSED POLET :( BE GRUMPY FOR A ROUND

CHEERS!

NEW BIKE!

YOU FAILED YOUR EXAM :( BACK TO START

By Tilde Skåtun

Skogbrukerforeninga 110 years

BOARD E! USIV !

EXCLTHIS ISSUE

ONLY

IN

GATHER YOUR FRIENDS FOR A ROUND OF TUNTREETS EXCLUSIVE BOARDGAME!

COVIDQUARANTENE SIT THE NEXT ROUND OUT

YOU NEED:

SOMEONE PLAYING WITH A CAP?

DICE PLAYING PIECES BEVERAGE

SWITCH PLACES WITH THEM!

SO MUCH POWER!

Optional drin king rules: - Fo ed to m ve space Take arscm s? any sipo s!

- The st ones to r the goa4l cfir each a n 6 and 4 sips give out 10 , 8, - Red square : Cheers!

- Use a cate drinkingbud rpillar? Chose a dy!

- Roll a 6? G ive out 4 sip s

MOVE ONE PLAYER TWO PLACES FORWARD

START

v MÅL

FORGOT YOUR KEYS :( TAKE FOUR STEPS BACK TO GO GET IT

ROLL! TAKE AS MANY STEPS BACKWARDS

T h e S t u d e n t Election at NMBU YOU WAKE takes UP place from the WITH NO 21st to HANGOVER! the 28th of April.

During the election there are CELEBRATE WITH activities and amusing stunts TWO PINTS AND to motivate you to vote, THREE STEPS FORWARD but why bother?

ICY ROAD! YOU FACEPLANT FORWARDS ONE STEP

TE O V O T R E B M REME

STUDENT ELECTION MISSED POLET :(

BE GRUMPY FOR A If you want to make the management at NMBU, the ROUND municipality and on a national level work harder so that the people in power will listen to the student representatives who speak on your behalf, you absolutely need to vote. Examples of cases we have worked on are:

Higher student grants THROWN OUT OF SAMFUNNET :( More furniture at Sørhellinga TAKEATHREE more sustainable NMBU STEPS BACK

More bus- and train departures Extra psychologist at the health station YOU FAILED NEW BIKE! Stop municipal support cut for YOUR EXAM health station :( BACK TO Fewer hours per academic credit for realistic START workload

By voting you increase the turnout, and the voices of the student representatives get more magnitude. This lets cases that concern you and your student life, go through easier.

You can also be a part of deciding what cases will receive focus in the near future. Every candidate has their focus and cases that matter the most to them. If you have cases that are important to you, it can be a good idea to read about the candidates or ask them directly about their opinions on your case.

CHEERS!

During the election, there are activities that you can attend to learn more about the importance of your vote, and about the different candidates. It is also a fun election to follow, as there are lots of amusing stunts. You can follow the Student Parliament of NMBU on Facebook to follow the election.

How long does it take? It can be done easily on any device with internet, and it is even faster than reading this article!

You can also vote anywhere, as long as you have a smartphone.

We extend our gratitude to everyone who votes and contributes to the student community, Happy voting!

TH

I W S A D O S E U V E R O W T

SYNNEVA GJELLAND

Revue is an important and central aspect of the student environment in Ås, and during the last couple of years, Synneva Gjelland has been in the center of it all. She is also engaged in agriculture, environment, culture, politics and music.

The farmgirl who was bitten by the revue bacillus “Farming runs through the veins” Her accent quickly reveals her origins in the west of Norway, more specifically Voss. Here she grew up as the inheritor of the family’s dairy farm. For a long time, she was unsure whether to take over the farm or not, but after a few years in Ås the conclusion is that this is something she wants to do. “I came to Ås to get a good network”, she tells. Here she found participation, innovation and young people wishing for a future-oriented agriculture, as well as seeing a shift in the society and in politics. She has met many people she disagrees with and has had a good deal of discussions. This is something she likes about Ås; you meet every opinion there is. You can’t choose to only be around the people you agree with.

The mix of different people with different opinions has given her a great deal of new input. “You don’t learn how to become a farmer at the university where there are mostly talks and thoughts. Farming runs through the veins”, she says. Instead, Ås has given her new perspectives, ideas and the understanding of the connection between agriculture in Norway and in the world. She is now writing a master’s thesis about vegetable growing in Western Norway. Why? Because she did not know anything about it, it is rather

FARMING RUNS IN MY VEINS

new and requires innovation, and it is cool, of course!

The Cultural Backpack From home, she has also brought plenty of culture from jazz, School of Music and Performing Arts and revues. This is what she first sought out more of when she moved away from home. She attended a folk song school in Sweden and studied there for a year. “Good lyrics in music are powerful”, she says, and in the folk songs the lyrics are the most important. In Sweden, she ended up in a quite radical class full of enthusiasm and a bunch of thoughts and opinions. She took a greater part in the feminist movement, left-wing politics, fellowship, anti-racism and battles she felt had to be fought.

Synneva has brought with her the music and its lyrics after leaving Sweden. In the spring of 2019, Maria, a friend of Synneva, gathered a group to practice. That day Sliteneliten saw the light of day, “a political telegram decorated with flute, fiddle, guitars, drums and bass”. After a couple of intense start-up months, they released their first single, and now, about two years later, their first album is coming out. “The concert we did on March 8, 2020 is one of my best memories from Ås”, Synneva says. “There was so much energy, everyone was so excited. We also had a lot of friends in the audience, as it was March 8. It was such a good day”.

Revue salvation. Despite all of this, the revues have marked her time the most in Ås. She had taken a small part in it in Voss and thought it was fun, but never felt a passion for it. By a coincidence she joined the revue group in Ås and became an UKE actress in 2018. She wanted more, and in the spring of 2019, she ran for revue manager for UKA 2020, and won. The work began, the ensemble was put together, and then covid arrived. Despite it, the revue took place. Synneva says that they were lucky that it was not canceled, and that people believed in them. They pulled it through! “In 2020 we made a revue that was seen by 3000 people. No arrangement has been seen by so many”. She wonders is people were a bit hungry for culture, and that the revue provided a stable and reliable source of entertainment.

Synneva tells about how her collective has been good to have during covid, and that a lot of things have happened there.

“I tend to be full of energy and feel a bit crazy when there is nothing to do”, she laughs. They got themselves chickens and she discovered that revues became a

go-to activity. After everything got shut down in March, they made a small revue that they streamed over Instagram. She is a bit sad about how her time here in Ås is ending, but if there is one thing she has learned, it has to be that one must take things as they come.

It has barely started. Even though her time in Ås is coming to an end, Synneva has many plans ahead. In the fall, she and other members from Sliteneliten are going to Rauland to continue with their music. She will, someday, take over the family farm, and has many plans to put into action. She dreams about starting up a shieling, and to turn an old Christian meeting house connected to the farm into a youth club, offering billiards, music and revue. Because she will never stop doing revues. The future is hers. “Yes! Let it happen!”

TEXT: GURO STØRDAL PHOTO: RUBEN RYGH PHOTOCONCEPT: EMILIE PEDERSEN

REGARDS TO

BOARD OF UKA

March 25, 2019 was the day we were elected at the General Assembly together, and in your appeal, you said it was nice to be on stage again. Since then, you have remained on the same track, and while the rest of us have had more than enough with our studies and positions, you have also recorded an album and started a record company(!). Ever since the General Assembly you’ve been on many stages and created lots of fun for yourself and others. That UKErevyen got the name it did fit perfectly, because it describes you too!

You’re also a lady with plenty of backbone and you stand up for yourself and others.

A conversation with you can never be too long and you’re a patient listener, both in ups and downs especially over “one” beer or in the jacuzzi.

–

Even with a leopard dress, lipstick and pink hair, you can’t hide the truth that you’re a down-to-earth farm girl from Voss. Suddenly your accent strikes through, so extreme that neither a taxi driver from Trondheim nor anyone else can understand. If you add a couple of radical undertones and the need for exposure to this mix of a personality you get the perfect revue manager. And this somewhat strange combination of personality traits is what makes Synneva an extraordinarily exciting, and not at least easy-going person to spend time with. Synneva’s complex personality is accompanied by an equally complex range of hairstyles. So far, we have seen you with curls, bangs, straight hair, after sex-hair, pink hair and a bob.

What’s next? Regardless of your hair, we can’t wait to see what you come up with when you are now, unfortunately, leaving Ås. We’re going to follow your journey with excitement and look forward to a reunion the revue on two feet; Synneva Gjelland!

Regards, the UKEboard!

O SYNNEVA COLLECTIVE

With the fiddle in your hands and sourdough on the forehead, you go through life with the greatest style.

And not to mention the crosswords. Even though you have more balls in the air than in the playroom of McDonald’s, you ooze safety and peace, there you sit and sip your high-status coffee and nibble on a rugsprø. Wherever you go you bring with warm colors, fiddle music and the smell of fenalår. In a dimension between revolution and tradition, you plat punk music on the fiddle. Duties at home are combined with a record release (congrats!!), tearing down the patriarchy and heavy leadership positions. We, Stovanians, are grateful for the opportunity to take part in this interesting dimension. We are also grateful for you keeping our ears warm with your balaclavas, and tax the brown snail population in the basement with shots from the air rifle.

Your own quote might best describe you: “The best thing about being an adult, is that you can take as many spoons of O’Boy as you want. And then you take one more, just because you can”.

“Ut, seilbåtsprut, påsketut!”. A huge bag of “punchknapper” from us in Stova<3

FRIEND Dearest SynnevA!

and I said “Synneve”. We were children of June, born on the west coast, and I think we had the same shoes.

Almost five years have passed by and I can sum up everything by saying that our friendship has been one hell of a party.

Thank you for morning coffees and conversations on the floor. For lyric poetry and music. For power readings and proverbs. Thank you for laughter, tears and sparkling wine, and for being so incredibly nice.

I want to end this by thanking you for the words you said to me, high on pizza, in the middle of a roundabout in Italy: “this is better than sex!”

I look forward to a hundred more!

Love and gratitude from SynnevE

REVUE

Revues are made for Synneva, or maybe we should rather say that Synneva is made for the revues; energetic, creative, talented, sharp, funny, loving and crazy – there is nothing this woman can’t do. She can even do a backflip from the top of the diving tower in Hamar! *Weeeeoow*. She has plenty of back bone when needed, and is always there for you if you need her.

As a queen on stage and in life, Synneva deserves a spectacular tribute, and how can you pay tribute to a Rockstar like her in a better way than with a song? With her brilliant musicality, Synneva wrote a song for the whole of Ås’ Cathrine Strømø for the miniUKErevue of 2020. We have now adopted the melody and written the song for the whole of Ås’ Synneva Gjelland: This is a greeting to a person out of the ordinary A person creating jOoy She rocks life and is not afraid of anything She is here and she is making noOoise On the second floor of Tårn You thought she was just a normal person But she has left deep marks ‘cause revues say more than a thousand words Synne-vaAa Ooh Synne-vaAa Ooh Synne-vaAa Synne-vaAa Everyone wants a piece of Gjelland “Rått” coming from the star of Voss Bangs, curls and a beautiful mind Everyone is thinking, “I wish Synneva was mine” The coolest lady on the countryside and in town Synneva makes a show just with her presence Synne-vaAa Ooh Synne-vaAa Ooh Synne-vaAa Synne-vaAa Everyone sings Gjelland makes peace on Eeeaarth Thank you for all the fire & ice toasts, kebabs, midnight musicals and energetic shouts of “RÅTT”!

Love form revue mates, Mathilde, Mathias and Tanita

READER’S LETTER

E EXCLUSIV As an NMBU student YOU are in danger of getting in the crossfire of a secret anti-weekdaydrinking-lobby Last week, I sat down with a cold pilsner and read about the “rector roast”, an interview of the rector, Sjur Baardsen, which was in the previous edition of Tuntreet.

I cannot understand why no one else has said anything about this interview. A conversation where the activity I was doing in that very moment was under fire. Something as innocent as a pilsner on a Monday. I was left with goosebumps and an unpleasant feeling that something unknown and morbid had taken over NMBU. During the interview it becomes clear that the rector does not think it is wise to drink in the middle of the working week. It sounds innocent, but if that is the top of the iceberg, I dare not look into the dark icy sea water. An attack on the cornerstone of the student society of Ås. As any “Albus Dumbledore” with great plans for the students of Ås, he swished his wand and got his way in NMBU. Now he is in a position with such power that he can, only with a flick of his magic wand, get the Wednesday bodega banned forever. Forever, I say!

NMBU is supposed to stand up for sustainability, and everyone knows that what makes Samfunnet

sustainable is the Wednesday bodega. Now, we’re risking that it all goes to the dogs.

That’s because we have gotten ourselves a rector that is running a secret antiweekday-drinking-lobby, and it’s been going on right under our noses. I’m ashamed!

With the coronavirus as their secret weapon, they won’t have to close down the bodega. It is already closed. But what will we do if that gloomy day should come? Study? Go on a walk?

Take provoking pictures of ourselves? It’s hard to take provoking pictures of yourself when you have such little will to live. Just thinking of it makes me sad!

Aren’t we, Ås-students, the ones calling ourselves climate activists and the bright minds of the future?

Can we really overlook the fact that a Wednesdaybodega-denying antiweekday-drinking-lobbyist is occupying the rector’s office? I say no! Join the fight against the sobriety hysteria!

Signy Landvik

One day she is just a normal student who worries about her assignments, food budget and surprise visits from SiÅs, the next day she has disappeared without a trace. A female student has been missing since Saturday 27th of March. Tun & Tre contacted rector Sjur Baardsen to get some clarity about the case.

When were you first informed of the case, and what will NMBU do to find the student? “We’re used to students disappearing these days, I almost don’t see any students, not in Ås or Adamstuen. I heard about this specific case from Holmes, head of emergency, the 29th of March. I have taken action, and am certain the case will be solved.”

According to one of her cohabitants she was last seen on Saturday. “She seemed very distressed, and talked a bunch about how someone was out to get her. She mumbled some words that rhymed with words along the lines of Hector, Vector, slur? I didn’t think much of it, considering she’s been a bit loony after they closed the Wednesday bodega.”

There are rumors going around that someone wanted to take revenge, does the rector have any comments regarding those rumors? “No, there is nothing that suggests so. Holmes has his hole team working on the case, and they are adamant that the students mumbling has nothing to do with the disappearing. They say that a possible reason could be her watching too much “Alle mot 1” with a certain Victor Sotberg.

Reactions like hers can be worsened if you don’t take proper care of yourself and make sure you get enough sleep. “ Follo police district already have a man on the case. “This case is still being investigated, and all information is confidential. At this stage, all I can say is that we’re investigating the highest

?

E H S S I E R E WH

The rector confirms alarming rumors of “missing student” bodies of NMBU, more specifically the rector’s office, and we are open for the possibility of a kidnapping.”

Is the rector aware of the rumors saying that the student is kidnapped by the rector himself? Locked up in rector’s office! “Of course, and what rubbish!

They called me the other day, insinuating that I had something to do with the case because “the rector had become as strict and grumpy as McGonagall”. I had to hang up after that, goodness me. The principal doesn’t have an office right now because of the moving to the Tower building. That should make the polices investigation stop as well, so that he can move on to locking up slobs that only want to party!

In the middle of the week! Oh, they need to be taught a lesson!”

Follo police district withdraws their statement saying that everyone should report to them if they see an Ås-student in Ås, after they received 2000 reports, “we cannot possibly look through all of them». They also withdraw their comment regarding NMBU and the rector’s office, since “that part of the investigation has

been closed, as we are now working together with our Swedish colleagues.

We want to figure out if the student could have applied for asylum in Sweden to live in a more open society”.

On a later day Tun & Tre was contacted by the rector, who wanted to tell us about an interesting development of the case: “A student that seemed quite disturbed (delirium tremens?) came to me the other day and told me that on the 26th of march, he observed his missing beer mate disappearing in the most mysterious way on “platform 9¾” on Ås station. I do think the observations are correct, even though the platform-thing must have been a hallucination caused by his withdrawal. It makes sense if the student left Ås, because a few days later I received a message from my dear rector-colleague Damir Boras saying that a Norwegian student had applied for asylum to him. I then activated my enormous European network that I spent half of my life building up and had my local agents in Park Ribnjak confirm that the student had red eyes and reduced health. She was supposedly mumbling something about «damn pivo and slivo”.

I have informed the police of Follo (to get them on the right tracks of course) and they have sent a detective.”

The rector is now working closely with the police to find the missing student “Yes, I’m dead set on getting the student home, and drying her up”, the rector says.

“I’m sure it will go well. I’ve gotten the soil science students at MINA to install a drying closet at the quarantine hotel at Gardermoen. According to my network the student is headed there right now. I got a letter the other day that claims she is trapped in a secret room only the rector knows. A bunch of nonsense of course.

As far as I know, there is no room in Ås or in Adamstuen that only the rector can access, except one, under the bodega, for that matter”, says the rector. “But I lost the key to that room last year”, he nervously concludes and hurryingly walks away.

So far, there has been no more updates on the case, but Tun & Tre is ready to report as soon as there is any new information.

TEKST: NORA HELGELAND FOTO: SIMEN WALBÆKKEN TANGEN

AT HOME WITH

GROWN-UP ANDERS EXCLU

SIVE

Tun & Tre were invited to Anders Mathias Rønneberg while he was making his fabulous pizza. We got to see the creative process behind a perfected pizza.

When Tun & Tre arrive to the kitchen where Anders has started making the pizza, we are met with both smiles and laughter. He eagerly explains that this is the first time he makes pizza from scratch, and he finally feels grown up.

“I started on the dough yesterday”, Anders explains with excitement while gesturing incomprehensibly. It looks a bit like finger-snapping, but without any sound. “You get what I mean”, Anders comments, while Tun & Tre’s journalist has no idea what he means.

Pizza topping. So, what do you put on a pizza? Well, Anders has the answer: tomato sauce, oregano, salt, and pepper. “I’m a course ground person”, he says, referring to the pepper he is grinding. But is there anything else we can put on the pizza?

“Is red cabbage, beetroots or champignon

okay?». After a couple of semi-successful Hellstrøm-parodies, Anders begins preparing the chicken. It is still frozen, and has a bit of marinade on the edges from the other pieces in the package, which Anders ate last week. Anders chops it professionally into oblong pieces before dropping them in the pan.

Under the fan. This is where Anders’ big problem arises. He is 1.94m tall (according to his passport), while the new SiÅs kitchen fan is 1.75m above ground. He fears ending up like The Hunchback of Notre-Dame.

For Anders, it is hard to decide whether to lean backwards or forwards when he cooks. “It feels weird that my height, which has always been a strength, now suddenly is a handicap”.

Anders er vant til at han blir spurt om å nå opp til de høyeste hyllene, men han har ikke lyst til å spørre noen om de kan nå ned til stekepanna hans. Handikapet plager tydelig Anders og han utrykker flere ganger at han savner den gamle vifta. Dessverre for Anders trekker ikke vifta så godt, og noen ganger driver steikeos rundt i kjøkkenet.

De andre til stede lukker døra til gangen for at ikke brannalarmen skal gå.

Movie night Young Anders

Difficult to communiate

Through the door While Anders completes the pizza and puts it in the oven, Tun & Tre asks the roommates how it is to live with Anders. So far, the discussion between them has been about all sorts of international political and societal problems. They often hear guitarplucking from his room, and sometimes they can even hear him sing. The collective finds it really pleasant, but Anders is a bit bothered that people can hear him sing.

På verandaen. It becomes evident that Anders is running out of time to finish the pizza. Half past six, the others start cleaning the kitchen. Anders barely gets to take the pizza out of the oven before he invites the “Dear Interview person” (Tun & Tre’s journalist) out on the balcony. There, the sunset has just begun, and Anders has some peace of mind. Apparently, the pizza Pizza is good, but the view is better

tastes excellent! Anders has no big plans for the upcoming Easter, “I’m planning on doing some fishing in a river at home, maybe get some trout”. As we sit on the balcony, someone appears in the window trying to make contact, it is Mathea who is cleaning the kitchen. Anders and Mathea attempt carrying a conversation through the window, but the glass is too thick and they give up eventually.

Liker skrekkfilm. When the pizza is all devoured, Anders cleans up after himself in the kitchen. He then proceeds to the living area, where the movie Antichrist is up next. The movie he is watching with his collective is a true psychotic thriller, and this is where Tun & Tre has to retreat, in fear of late mental injury.

TEXT OG PHOTO: SIMEN WALBÆKKEN TANGEN

SEE TH Det verste jeg har sett!

E PICS

Shocked

G N I M L I F S U O L A D N A SC E U V E R T N E D U T S OF NC IN Many of the students saw the most important championship of the year, the fully-digital Norwegian Championship in student revues on March 19th. What only few know about, however, is the drama backstage, especially everything revolving the recording of the opening sequence of the award ceremony. Tun & Tre sent out paparazzi photographers to further investigate, and the findings where shocking.

In a comment to Tun & Tre, Tanita Skyttermoen Guldbrandsen took complete distance from the incidences. “I accept criticism”, exclaimed the NM Student

Revue Chief in an exclusive interview.

“What should have been a tribute to revues completely went beyond control and I strongly apologize for this”

Didn’t pay for bus ticket

Sexual harassment

Hitler salute Animal cruelty

Boozing!

Tun & Tre also contacted Helge Mathisen, film chief of these dramatical events. “Some of the worst I have seen.” he admitted. “It´s hard to maintain professionalism when things fall out the way they did here”, he further elaborated.

After a short while, a random passerby walked by. He took several photographs to share this shocking state with the rest of the Facebook-group “Ås kommunes venner” (Ås municipality’s friends). “Totally dreadful what today’s youth are doing these days”, said the man that wished to maintain anonymous. “I am not surprised”.

Afterwards, we also received an anonymous comment from one of the participants describing the incidents as a cult. “We are never left alone”. The fact that several of the revue actors have moved in together is also deeply concerning. The municipality is now further worried about further recruitment to this new cult and are keeping an extra eye on those involved.

TEXT AND PHOTO: TORD KRISTIAN F. ANDERSEN

ENT DECAD DANCE

PR-CRA

ZED

NITO Faglig påfyll før eksamensperioden?

NITO arrangerer følgende kræsjkurs for å hjelpe deg mot eksamen:

- STAT100 - MATH112 - INF120 - FYS101 - KJM100 - FYS100 Følg oss på sosiale medier for å få det med deg!

Facebook: NITO Studentene NMBU Instagram: @nitostudentene_nmbu

Finally, the municipality said “YES”!

So go find your best dress!

The swinging can commence!

Hear the message, my friends!

Monday and Tuesday we’ll swing with you Call a friend and ask them too Our complete semester plan, beneath Will make you smile with all your teeth We’d love if you would stop by Your life – we’ll diversify!

Some rules to prevent any hiccup: You do need to sign up!

A steady partner is also needed The restrictions cannot be exceeded But should you need a changeover?

We’ll find a brand-new lover!

Semester Program WEEK

15 16 17 18 19 20 21

M O N D AY

T U E S D AY

W E D N E S D AY

Jump in the hay with Gay på Landet Wifeswapping with Koneklubben Freidig

T H U R S D AY

Kama Sutra course with NMBUI NMBU Quidditch (coitus ruleset)

Rodeo with the How to seduce BB Cowboys the elderly with MilF Course on venereal diseases with Flatlusa How to seduce How to seduce a Rævnechap an Ivarinne with IVAR with Rævne Consent 101 with Students without Borders

Fingertraining with NMBU gaming

Rolling with Unity

Tasting night with Universitetets Mikrobryggeri

Knottechnique with Gents Academy

Bedroom pleasure with Kald Pute

Roleplay with the association “Både Kort og Bredt”

S U N D AY

“Stroke a cat” with foreningen Hunkatten

Something with FF

Erotic writing with the writing centre

S AT U R D AY

Bonfire night with Ås Dogging

Throatexercises with NMBU-choirs

Milking with Lactologiske Pselskap

F R I D AY

Talk dirty with Ås Studentmållag

7 seconds of culture with Hankattene

Sausage party with Laget

S&M-night with La Stå!

Walk in the woods with NMBU Friluftsliv

(NB! Bring your own cane)

Erotic short story

Lovemaking at Sør It was almost 10PM. I felt my stomach tickling. I felt it all the way from my toes to my groin. It was tingling all around.

I could hardly wait. It had been almost a year since the last time. I consciously stroked myself over the arm and looked over to Ida and Martin again. She was still sitting on his lap and his hands were stroking her, from her hair, down the neck and gently brushing past her side breast. I caught myself wondering if they behaved this way intentionally. It was almost as if they wanted the whole collective to be aroused by them, the way they were sitting in the common area kissing and caressing each other as if they were alone in the world. I wondered if they, in their inner mind, hoped we were sitting in our rooms and jacking off to the thought of them, or because of them. It had been extremely annoying to witness before, but now it was as if I was hoping they would get it on just like now. The bitter jealousy was gone and had been replaced by a longing tingling. Just one hour remaining.

at Eika a month ago, I´ve had several wet dreams about him.

The collective had enforced a strict policy since corona had started back in March. We had agreed to stick to one partner or friend if one was to live in the collective. Thea has asthma, Sivert and Marie have parents in a high-risk group.

Everyone agreed. Not that I had someone to sleep with anyways. Not until now.

Just as Viken was closing down again and visitors were prohibited.

My hands reached his thigh and my fingers gently stroked towards his groin. I grabbed his ass and pulled him close to me. He lifted my arms and pulled off my sweater.

I felt his hands caress my breasts. With his thumb and index finger he gently pinched my nipples. I moaned softly. He looked intensely into my eyes and whispered: - Your tits hang like pomegranates. The reference caught me off guard and a giggle slipped of my lips. I slowly pulled down his pants and boxers while smirking at him. I grabbed his erect cock and whispered back: - Your penis is growing like a poisonous toadstool.

I glanced back over to the watch again, just half an hour to go. I had not spoken much with André until I received a message from him yesterday. He asked if we should “get our stuff” from Sørhellinga together at 11PM. It was obvious what he meant, although I did not quite understand how. It was as if the tension between us gave words another meaning, and we both understood what they really meant.

Ever since he had stumbled over my bag

We agreed to meet each other in the copy room. I left Eplehagen and headed to Sør.

It felt as if I was about to do something illegal. Dirty and nasty. I loved it. I was greeted by a doorkeeper by the entrance at Sør.

–-Be quick, would you? I´m closing up here in half an hour.

I ran up the stairs and over to the copy room. Cliché, but I did not care one bit.

I sat down on the table by the wall and patiently looked over to the staircase across. It did not take long before I saw him skipping up the stairs and towards me. He took a long time to close the door.

I wanted him to throw himself at me like an animal and rip off my clothes. Was it possible to make up for a year without sex in just half an hour? - Fuck, you´re gorgeous, he whispered as he walked towards me.

I expected laughter, but André did not laugh. He looked at me seriously and leaned over me and said, with a coarse and dark voice: - It is just as deadly too. Before I could make a comeback, he lifted me up and spun me around. I grabbed the table for support as he pulled my jeans down to

my knees. He kissed my ass and grabbed the scissors on the table. Before I could worry about what he would do with the scissors, I felt the cold metal against my skin.

The familiar sound of scissors cutting fabric reached my ears. He cut off my panties. I gasped. I felt a finger against my genitalia. It gently stroked up and down before slipping inside of me. I moaned again. His fingers had been dry to begin with, but were now just as wet as me. I was soaking wet, and every touch sent shocks through my body.

André breathed heavily and whispered in a satisfied tone: - I think you´re longing for my toadstool.

- I want you, I moaned. Too horny to mess around. He put one of his hands around my waist and gently maneuvered his penis inside me with the other. I had almost forgotten how good it was. He led his cock slowly in and out. I was so close. – Faster, I begged. He picked up the pace and it became unbearably good.

It did not take long before an explosion of firework of pleasure left my mouth. A moment later I heard those same sounds from André.

We should do this again some time, he smiled before strolling out of the copy room. I was left sitting in the rush of the moment that has passed. When I eventually found the will to leave the room, I saw him. The doorkeeper. He looked at me with longing eyes. His pants had grown tighter in the crotch since last time. – You come here often?

He asked teasingly. I held his glance and tasted his words. – Not often enough, I replied and playfully moved back into the copy room.

ILLUSTRATION: ODA BRAAR WÆGE

WEEKLY HOROSCOPE Unusual planetary phenomena are to happen this week. They are, however, interpreted under cloudy weather, so all claims should be read with an open mind.

SOOTHSAYER: INGRID ÅSBØ SONDOV

Aries 21. March – 20. April Mars is in the position of hunger, and you become inspired to gather someone close to you for a long-awaited dinner. You burn the sauce, but that does not negatively impact your guests’ experience. On the contrary. It has been a long time since they had this much fun, thanks to you.

Taurus 21. April – 21.May This week, Venus is hidden behind the Sun and is therefore out of sight. You decide to do the same. You venture out into nature, walk barefoot, smell the spring and look at the clouds. Your friends are concerned, but eventually understand that peace and quiet is what you need.

Gemini 22. May - 21. June Mercury is unpredictable and is seemingly bouncing all over the place. The same goes for you. You have many balls in the air, but practice is key, and before you know it you are a master juggler. You step out of the week with full control and as a victor in your own life. You even manage to combine assignment submissions with the season finale of your favourite TV-show.

Cancer 22. Juni – 22. July The Moon looks like cheese, many will say. Mmmm… cheese.

You buy five different cheeses and have a cheese- and wine evening with yourself.

You realise it has been a long time since you nurtured your relationship with yourself, and decide to do this more often.

ILLUSTRATIONS: PAULINE HOVLAND

Leo 23. July– 23. August This is the week of the lion. The sun is shining like never before, and your face is glowing. You decide to catch the colours of spring and let your creativity run loose. Your neighbours are puzzled at first by your creative ideas, but they will soon take part in the art.

Virgo 24. August – 23. September You decide to take action. You love order, and the restlessness of Mercury makes you want to act even more. You start in one end of your apartment, and clean and organise your way through all rooms. It takes all week, but you have never felt better.

Sagittarius 23. November – 21. December Jupiter is a big planet, and you want to accomplish something that is at least as big this week. You make big, wonderful sourdough breads.

Capricorn 22. December – 20. January Inspired by the ring around Saturn, you get a hold of the good old hula hoop and other workout equipment. You rock loose, do a handstand and the week becomes one long, tiring, bootcamp.

Aquarius 21. January- 18. February

Uranus and Neptune usually circle hand in hand around the sun, but this week they go their separate ways. You decide 24. September – 23. October to confront a relation that is eating you up on the inside.

The absence of Venus is making It starts with a text, and ends you sad. You seek happiness and with closure with this person. It enjoyment by making harmonious tones. By seems scary to read this now, but at the end of the end of the week, you have completed an the week, you are free from the other person’s album. “That was fast”, you may think. Yes, iron grip. that is correct.

Libra

Scorpio 24. Oktober – 22. November You have missed Pluto and felt bewildered for a long time. The starship “Millenial Falcon” is this week passing the place where Pluto used to circle, and you start to feel adventurous. You revisit an old passion of yours, “ding dong ditch”.

Pisces 19. February-20. March Neptune’s complete reversal gives you an indecisive and bad feeling in your gut. You take a shower, but to no avail. You need to go to the ocean and take an icy bath. The feeling in your legs is gone and so is the bad feeling in your gut.

Tun & Tre:

By the Decade

The whole world’s favorite gossip magazine is already fifteen years old (or is it only six?) Join me as I dive into the most important NLH UMB NMBU-related magazine of all time: Tun & Tre, decade by decade!

The precursor of Tun & Tre, Tuntreet, saw an increasing focus on single issues from the 70’s. This could, for example, be 10 pages dedicated to different sides of an issue. This expanded throughout the 80’s, where we had some all-out themed editions. Here, a single subject was the focus, with some other content on the side. However, the subjects did not really

thorough edition in 2019. An impressive variant is the “Cut-and-paste-edition”, with all-analog layout. Worth mentioning are the special editions “Sladrespeilet” and “Odelskatalogen”. Nevertheless, the only returning themed edition is Tun & Tre. There are currently eight editions, and the eighth is the one you are reading right now. It is still worth mentioning that the first three editions were not real, thorough editions, but only front pages with some added strokes, like the first ones mentioned earlier.

These front-page specials were released in 2006, 2008 and 2011. Øystein Heggdal was the journalist editor in 2006, which made him responsible for the form and the content. He explains that the first edition was so caricatured that some people did not even realize it was Tuntreet, and put it in the garbage.

Four more years had to pass before the first true edition was conceived in 2015

change the magazine all that much, other than the texts all being written to sort out a single subject. The themed editions as we know them today are much more thorough, and not only does the content change, but also the tone.

From the Front Page to Completion To exemplify, we have had front page parodies of “Magasinet”, “Donald Duck & Co.” and “National Geographic”. An anniversary edition with the expression of the 40’s was released in 2016. “Tuntreet Geographic” was upgraded to a more

You think Tuntreet is thoughtless? I’ll show you thoughtless! Lars Raaen was the journalist editor for this first proper edition.

He tells me that making a “Se & Hør”edition was, apart from fun, a truly conscious comment to the critical voices about what Tuntreet covered. I find threads all the way back to 1983 in “Tunrapp” (Tuntreet’s debate appendix). Here we find debates of whether a column called “Tunpampen” was unreasonable personality cult-ish. A big part of the debate later on had been whether Tuntreet focused on the wrong issues, and subjects that were too ordinary.

There was only one thing to do, fill the magazine with interviews and other gossip.

Then there were editions in 2016, 2017 and 2019, filled with fashion police, drug scandals, homosexcruise, nudity, collisions, “Ås dogging” and interviews at people’s places. I can imagine that, depending on who you ask, Tun & Tre is either Tuntreet at its best or its worst. For the time being, this has been intentional. Including the edition you are holding, Tun & Tre has been present for over three decades, since it first arose as a joke in January 2006.

One thing is for sure. It is here to stay.

TEXT: TORD KRISTIAN F. ANDERSEN

PRIESTLY THOUGHTS

What do you believe in?

Have you ever been asked this question? Once, I heard someone say that “You cannot ask someone about that! What if I don’t believe in anything?” But I’m of the opinion that you can always ask this question – because everyone believes in something. Not necessarily in a god, or a supernatural power, but maybe science? Or yourself? None of these are contradictory, either. But why is there a part of us that shakes a little when confronted by this question? Is it too personal? Have we lost our ability to talk about it?

Every time I, as a priest, conduct a service, I ask the whole congregation to stand up and recite the Apostles’ Creed together. It is an old creed with roots all the way back to the 200s, which since then, has been repeated aloud in Christian churches all over the world. There is something heartening about traditions and words which have resisted the erosion of time. At the same time, ancient words can sometimes be a little hard to understand? Or to relate to? I feel that, sometimes.

Therefore, I ask my confirmands to write their own creed. Write down words and sentences about what they believe in. The creed then emerges in another shape, in other manners of speech and maybe more in line with our time? I find it beautiful! And I am becoming humbler about how we humans express, experience and contemplate our beliefs. Two years ago, my confirmands wrote a creed to a service of their own, and I’d like to share this one with you.

I believe there is more between heaven and earth than we realize.

I believe in friends and family I believe that angels watch over us I believe in goodness in all mankind I believe in women I believe in one God I believe in life I believe that small things can mean great things I believe in honesty I believe in life after death I believe in equality I believe in love I believe in possibilities I believe in me Maybe you recognize yourself in one or more of these sentences? Maybe you can add your own sentence? I believe in a lot of things. I believe in God, in humans, in love, in women, in men, in life after death, I believe in myself. And I think that we can grow as people by challenging ourselves and each other on exactly this question: “What do you believe in?”.

Because in that conversation, you can discover good things to hold on to when life is hard.

Do you dare asking yourself? Do you dare asking someone else about it?

Ingrid Ulvestad Øygard, Student priest ved NMBU

Sigurd A. Bakke and Ingrid U. Øygard are the student priests at NMBU. Their office lies in the basement of Urbygningen. They are available if you need someone to talk to, seek advice or have a discussion. They are available on Wednesdays from 11 to 15, but are also available for other days.

Appointments are made through sigurd.a.bakke@ nmbu.no or io484@kirken. no

E C I F F O E TH The easter holidays are over for now, and we turn towards the summer holidays.

It is time to focus on the studies, but we consider delaying it.

Since our previous column, the General Assembly was held. In spite of technical problems, we were pleased with the assembly. We hope some of you won the bingo.

The Studentsamfunnet’s General Assembly is the highest level of authority.

This is where the board members of the different parts of Samfunnet are elected, the board members’ reports, accounts and budgets are approved. The members of Samfunnet can also make inquiries, comment or share opinions. Many exciting issues have been brought up, like UKAs end report, completed goals for the work program of 2020, and the Samfunnet’s first climate accounting report. In spite of the exciting issues brought up, there were few

Exclusive insight

comments and questions. We attribute that to the well-formulated meeting documents.

So, the next time you have any questions to anything brought up at the GA, raise your hand and ask!

There were many positions up for grabs this spring. A big congrats to all newly elected, and especially the new board of UKA! We are looking forward to see what you can conjure up, and we look forward to see the new organisation take shape!

In other news, we are pleased to see that UKA in Ås is recertified as an EcoLighthouse. UKA in Ås has been certified since 2008, and it’s good that we can maintain our certification. That means that we have all our routines in order and that we care for our functionaries. We also know what can be improved, looking mainly at our climate accounting. Now that we are starting to get an overview of what we’re good at and what can be done better, we

can set realistic objectives within more categories, like waste and acquisition.

In the coming weeks, many digital events lie ahead, and we look forward to sharing them with you. And the Business Committee has a few events coming up as well. In addition, the planning of Buddy Week and the autumn semester is well underway. We cross our fingers, are positive and plan ahead for a normal semester. Samfunnet has many notices for different positions, and UKA will soon announce theirs. We have been through many downfalls this semester, but we are approaching summer, holidays and normality. Thank you for your patience, so far – we’ll stick it out, this last bit!

So, until the next Tuntreet, take care! And, perhaps, start reading for those exams.

Leader of Samfunnet Maylinn Dramstad

T N E M A I L R A P T THE STUDEN We hope you’ve all had a lovely easter. The batteries are hopefully recharged, and ready for the last stretch until the exams.

The campus has been closed, as of late. But who knows, maybe they’ll open again as this is being read? This has led to many students not being able to complete their degree in the ordinary amount of time, and that students who require practical lectures are left without them. We have reacted strongly to government’s mistrust of open campuses at universities for students who really need it.

The municipal chief general practitioner has, yet again, aired improper opinions to Ås Avis, TV2 and VG. This time, she has presented youth and young adults as reckless, and that has to improve. This gives a lack of nuance to the picture, and we have responded firmly to these attitudes in both Ås Avis and TV2.

From our point of view, we’ve been recharging our batteries for the Student Elections from between April 21-28. Here, new female representatives will be elected in the University Board and

the faculty boards, in addition to new members and a new leader for the Student Board, and ALL students at NMBU have the right to vote! We are looking forward to the election, and can promise a display of stunts, activities and smooth things! Follow us on Facebook and catch up on everything that’s going on!

The student parliament is having its meeting for the last time before the semester is over, on the 19th of April, and we’re all looking forward to it. Otherwise, we hope you have a nice spring, and wish you all the best of luck on your exams!

AU on munic ipal senior GP

Leader of AU and members Tuva Lund Magnus Dybdahl Tilde Dalberg 47

H C + R A E S

SUDOKU & OTHER GOODIES AVAILABLE CONSIDER DEDICATE FAULT FLEXIBLE LACE PRIMARY STEAK SUFFER TOURIST

NONOGRAM

E N G A P M A H C E N FIND G A P M A H C N WI

NONOGRAM

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VINN ET FLAKSLODD SOM DU SIDEN KANSKJE KAN BRUKE TIL Å KJØPE EN SJAMPIS

HOW MANY CHAMPAGNE BOTTLES CAN YOU FIND IN THE MAGAZINE? GIVE US YOUR ANSWER TO TUNTREET@ SAMFUNNETIAAS.NO, AND JOIN THE COMPETITON!

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All the numbers represent letters who all make words together.

Use the given letters, and try to fill them all in!

1

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EASY

Killer Sudoku follows the same rules as ordinary sudoku, but in addition: the sum of the boxes in the dotted fields must correspond with the little number in eah field. There can only be one of each number within the dotted fields.

16

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Av Tilde Skåtun

R E T N A B B U CL

CHEERS FF

LATEST NEWS

LED L E C CAN SIONS IS ADM

SPRING SWANS

Easter came and left Without much drama What happens now Is difficult to know Cheers FFD! Cheers Skriver!

Cheers $paregris!

Cheers Hunkatter!

Cheers Qlutural and Xlusive Cheers Pusekatter!

Cheers Tora and Thorvald!

Suddenly, Easter went past us, But the Summer Holiday is just around the Corner.

The Sun heats up our Bodies, go outdoors and do a Jump!

Cheers for Sun as well as Heat!

Signs of Spring are slowly emerging, Blooming Students sense a rising Limb?

Though It is ascending, we must not forget that if we get through this, we can soon Embrace.

Cheers to good Studentresses and Students!

The municipal senior doctor is looking for someone to blame, alas! she lacks Reasons with Fullness!

Studentresses and Students have been exceptional, as even now, the Infection Rates are falling.

Cheers to falling Infection Rates!

Qltural regards Budbringer Celina, Læge Ingrid, Fotogen Ingeborg and Pusekatt Harini

Our admissions are cancelled The semester should be frozen There is no fun to pursue We want to wear blue GA is over for now And what a show We congratulate the new board of UKA Hopefully, UKA 2022 will be acid The swans wade about, looking for the island Where their child was reared, last year But we must ensure their stomachs aren’t too tight Last year, a swan was so fat it couldn’t take flight Storebrand is a construction site Our plans have gone to shite Without the field, there is nought but chaos Where else shall the 3000-meter beer run take place?

Forfatterfrøken

Despite the harsh restrictions, we managed to complete our admission session, and five new members have joined Collegium Alfa! Now we are looking forward to normal days here at Ås. The name for the month of April originates from Aprilis, which means “to open”. Maybe there is hope for a gradual reopening of Samfunnet? Anyhow, we hope that April will lead to a blooming campus, and brighter days for us, students.

The summer is coming, and we can finally lay our dark days behind us.

I choose april, because it storms, sweeps, because it smiles, melts, because it is capable because its powers overturn, - in it, summer is made!

- Bearstar Bearson

GENTLE POETRY

In my wardrobe, each day has its own suit Suits that show my brilliance in constant pursuit Lederhosen is happy it brings laughter The black belt is serious, and ready for fortunate cats The armour is ready for battle, ready for the oncoming struggle My dressing gown flutters in the wind, it bears no grudges The vest is my most treasured item, it defeats top hats The emblem sits tight upon my chest, envied by hecats My tie, I carry ‘till the day I die My shoes are polished bright, and tied tight, it’s - no doubt - Saturday.

Gents Academy b/ Lord Ambassador

D

.. . .

D R A E H AVE YOU

GA DISCONTENT

H

Siås is always prepared Kringla starts early this year!

They’ve installed both festival toilets and sinks!

Collective with empty walls Can we please have the map over the Agrarian Metropole as a poster in TT04?

Grande Finale Wow! Spring collection to @ dininternetskjorte: O <3 .

New habit that Nemba just nominates itself now? ?

no need to be nominated to run

at the GA GA at home is not as solemn... .... ...

My collective is chatting constantly.

Then, one hollers out: “oh, we have to vote” “But who shall we vote for?”

DOGO Can we have Amiga as our leader for the Board of Samfunnet? Pleeeeeeease

Sigrids fanclub Why are we only ever seeing Petter?

Grande Finale Template GA-appeal: - Praise the student society - Praise student enthusiasm - Regurgitate various positions - Say Tora and Thorvald

Prorektorfan #1 Solves goatee 🤩🤩 Anonym Where is the odel catalog?

Tirsdagspåfyll Sexologist: “Have I heard”

Daily happiness Find two 50 kroner notes and a tenner in my pocket - OMG, I am my own sugardaddy!

Bent Høie must pull himself together Du should use the word “must” when issuing an official order And you should use the word “should” when issuing an official recommendation

Sliten student.

Fuck korona!

.

Amen Scan to get to Have you heard... at tuntreet.org

Fangirl Two beers with Mirana Dørum, make it happen!!

Lars Atle Holm informs: NMBU has a campus at Sandnes!!!???

til info

The veterinarians have a little facility there

#TUNTREET

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