September 19, 2022

Celebrating Banned Books

TU volleyball in full swing, p. 2 Tulsa Race Massacre and controversial DNA sampling, p. 4 Censorship and Andrew Tate, p. 5 Staff discuss their favorite banned books, p. 7 Mandatory campus gun training, p. 8

Sports

The Collegian: 2

September 19, 2022

Tulsa volleyball starting the 2022 season strong Sports writer Joe McCurdy covers the early performance and current stance of Tulsa volleyball.

Coached by Ryan Wills, the Tulsa Women’s Volleyball team has been hot and cold to start off their 2022 campaign. Currently standing at 6-5 after wins over The University of Texas at El Paso and Oral Roberts University, the team is facing an extremely ambitious non-conference schedule with two of their losses coming from the #1 seeded Nebraska Cornhuskers and the very prestigious Pepperdine Waves. With only three seniors returning from last year’s roster, the team is relying heavily on young talent to help them succeed this season. They continue to rely on the experience of their outside hitters, as senior Cassidy leads the team with 113 kills so far on the season and Senior Aysu Dalogullari has 47 of her own kills. But it’s not just the senior show for the Lady Hurricane, Sophomore Rachel Brown (MB) and Freshman Arianna Mongare (MB) are a one-two punch at the middle blocker position, combining for 27 blocks and 54 kills.

After a lackluster 2021 season, ending the season 14-16 with a 4-game losing streak and finishing 7th in the American Conference, Tulsa is looking to refocus and re-energize this Women’s Volleyball roster.

They have their eyes set on competing for a Conference title and an NCAA Tournament Bid, which they haven’t done since 2012.

They’re looking to hang banners in Reynolds once more and give Tulsa fans a reason to cheer for their team.

This week, Tulsa was slated to play #14 Baylor, McNeese State and Sam Houston for their 4th non-conference tournament of the season. Up first was #14 Baylor, who are 9-2 on the season with big wins against #3 Wisconsin and California - Santa Barbara with their only two losses coming from #5 Minnesota and Pepperdine. Tulsa was coming in as an underdog but also riding the wave of a 3-game win streak so there was hope for a battle between the Golden Hurricane and the Bears. The first set was highly contested for the majority of the game, the score staying within arm’s reach throughout the game, but Tulsa could never retain the lead and lost the first set 25-20. Set two is always a decisive set: it’s where the rest of

the match is determined, whether you can fight for a 4-5 set match or if you’re going to get swept 3-0. In Tulsa’s case, it was the latter, as they were unable to keep up with the high-powered Baylor Bear attack, losing the second set 25-18. At this point, Tulsa was struggling to stop the bleeding and did their best to go kill for kill with the Bears, but there was little they could do as the red-hot Baylor Bears swept the Golden Hurricane in 3 sets. Senior Kayley Cassidy finished the game leading Tulsa in kills (15), aces (1) and blocks (1) as Cassidy continued to be the weapon from the outside as she was expected to be.

Looking to bounce back from Baylor and hopefully avenge an earlier loss in the

courtesy @tulsahurricane.com

season, Tulsa was to face McNeese State, a team Tulsa lost to in a 5-set match just a little over two weeks prior. Trying to come back on a positive note after a sweep loss to Baylor, Tulsa came out wanting to prove the loss in the beginning of the season was a fluke. And they came out and did exactly that, winning the first two sets 25-23 and closing the sweep out with a 25-13 set three.

No surprise to anyone, Cassidy continued to lead the team in kills with 19, and it was much more of a team effort, as they got twelvefold the number of blocks as they did the previous game.

With one sweep against them and one for them, the weekend could only get more exciting if there were a five-set thriller, and that’s what the Sam Houston vs. Tulsa match was. After winning the first set by a dominating score of 25-16, the rest of the match continued back and forth as Tulsa lost the second set 26-24 and re-grouped to win the third set 25-23. SHU forced the fifth set after winning the fourth 25-23. Losing the only other five-setter they’ve been in this year, Tulsa was determined to close it out, and that’s just what they did, winning the fifth and final set 15-8 and finishing the week 7-5. Sophomore outside hitter Bailey Rowe had her moment to shine in this match, leading the Golden Hurricane in kills with 23, with Cassidy following closely behind with 19 of her own. They now get ready to start their conference schedule as they play ECU for their home opener this Friday, Sept. 23.

Eric Konkol entering as new head coach for TU men’s Basketball Graphics editor Celeste McAtee offers a brief biography of the returning coach.

In March 2022, the University of Tulsa announced Eric Konkol as the 31st head coach for the TU men’s basketball program.

Konkol, who most recently served as head coach for Louisiana Tech University, comes with an impressive record: during his seven-year span at LA Tech, he finished with 153 career victories, making him the third highest-scoring coach in LA Tech history.

His awards include 2021 Conference USA Coach of the Year, NABC District 11 Coach of the Year, LABC Louisiana Major College Coach of the Year and LSWA Louisiana Coach of the Year.

Coming from Amherst, Wisconsin, Konkol began his college basketball career in 1995 when he played for the University of Wisconsin-Platteville before moving to the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire in 1997, where he earned a bachelor’s degree in kinesiology while continuing to play basketball. He has also held assistant coaching positions at the University of Miami, George Mason University and even the University of Tulsa as a student assistant in the 2000-2001 season. During his assistantship with Tulsa, the TU team went on to win the NIT championship.

How does Konkol feel about returning to TU after more than two decades away?

“Excited and honored,” he revealed in his opening remarks as TU head coach.

“This is the place where it really all started for me,” he shared, hinting at nostalgia.

“This was a transformative time for me. I came here just interested in trying to become a basketball coach. I left here with an invaluable experience of seeing a university, a group of special players, in a community,

all intertwined and aligned, to create something special. And that’s what we’re here to do again.”

In his first press conference, he announced his commitment to “relentlessly recruit” new talent and develop “one of the most electric home court environments in the country,” quickly winning the hearts of fans eager for a renewal of the program.

TU students look forward to this “electric home court.” Avid TU athletics fan Freddy Ward (senior) shares his excitement for the upcoming basketball season.

“Coach Konkol has brought new energy in to revive our basketball program and give it new life! I have no doubt he will play a big role in this TU renaissance.”

This welcome enthusiasm for Konkol’s leadership fits within TU’s wider efforts to revive student and community investment in TU athletics. President Brad Carson commented on this new era for TU, highlighting both the legacy of TU men’s basketball as well as his hope for the upcoming seasons.

“Going back decades, our studentathletes have been successful on the court and in the classroom. Eric Konkol has a record of recruiting, coaching and mentoring young men to be the best they can be and to lift their teams to new heights. I have no doubt he will bring that same level of dedication, energy and ambition to TU.” The TU men’s basketball season will kick off in early November, promising to pump vigor back into the program. While there is sure talent in both the coaching staff and players, the success of the team depends on one other factor: student and community support.

courtesy @CoachKonkol on Twitter

Sept. 19 - Sept. 25 Monday

Tuesday 19

M Tennis @ Fayetteville Futures

All Day

Wednesday 20

M Soccer @ Missouri State 7:00 p.m.

Thursday

Saturday 23

22

21

none

Friday

W Soccer @ South Florida 6:00 p.m.

Volleyball East Carolina 7:00 p.m.

M Tennis

W Tennis

@ Farnsworth Invitational

All Day

Tulsa Invitational

TBA

24 Football @ Mississippi 3:00 p.m.

Cross Country @ Cowboy Jamboree

All Day

W Golf

Sunday Volleyball Temple 1:00 p.m.

25

M Soccer Charlotte 7:00 p.m.

W Golf @ Schooner Fall Classic

All Day

@ Schooner Fall Classic

All Day

M Tennis @ Farnsworth Invitational

All Day

September 19, 2022

Sports

NFL opening for 2022-2023 season

The Collegian: 3

TU football defends home turf against Northern Illinois

Sports writer Guy Broom provides game-by- Sports writer Joe McCurdy covers the game coverage for an eventful start of the year. close matchup for Tulsa’s first home game.

Bills: 31, Rams: 10 The season kicked off with the defending champions, the Rams, taking on this season’s Super Bowl favorite Bills . The game ended with the Bills making a statement win, clearly defining themselves as the favorite. Josh Allen began his case for MVP by throwing a 26/31 completion rate for 297 yards and three touchdowns and by having 10 carries for 56 yards and a touchdown.

Both teams played pretty sloppily in the first half with it being tied 10-10; however, it took off in the second half with the Rams scoring 21 points and shutting out the super bowl champs home 31-10.

rence threw for 275 yards, a touchdown and an interception.

Bears: 19, 49ers: 10 This game was played during horrible field conditions in Soldier Field but did not prevent the Bears from sliding on the field in their 19-10 over San Francisco.

Eagles: 38, Lions: 35 This game looked to be an easy win for the Eagles, being up 38-21 going into the fourth quarter. The Lions were looking to make a comeback, scoring 14 points, but the Eagles escaped with their first win of the season.

Ravens: 24, Jets: 9 A game marked by two Quarterbacks looking to prove something with Ravens quarterback, Lamar Jackson, seeking to bring back his 2019 MVP form after contract negotiations failed between him and the Ravens. On the other hand, Jets backup quarterback, Joe Flacco, who is taking over after Zach Wilson suffered an injury before the season, is seeking a win over the team he led to a Super Bowl win almost 10 years ago. Jackson went off, throwing for three touchdowns and 213 yards in a 24-9 victory over Flacco and the Jets.

Saints: 27, Falcons: 26 The Falcons started off this game with a large lead over the Saints with a score of 26-10 before going into the fourth quarter, but in true Falcon fashion they proceeded to blow that lead in 11 minutes, culminating in a 51-yard field goal by Wil Lutz to end the game and finish yet another choke by the Falcons

Dolphins: 20, Patriots: 7 This game was marked by the Dolphins, who acquired Tyreek Hill over the offseason, routing the Patriots 20-7. Hill had eight receptions for 94 yards in his Dolphins debut. Fears ran out for the Patriots after Quarterback Mac Jones looked to have suffered a back injury but x-rays later indicated everything was fine.

Colts: 20, Texans: 20 This game started out with the Texans leading the Colts 20-3 by the end of the third quarter, but Matt Ryan led the Colts to a 17-point comeback in the fourth quarter to tie the game. Overtime went back and forth until Rod Blankenship missed a game winning 42-yard field goal that resulted in Blankenship being released just a couple of days later. The game’s conclusion ended in a tie Steelers: 23, Bengals: 20 Another game that looked to bring an additional tie to the first week saw the Super Bowl losing team, the Bengals, seeking to bounce back, but problems rose after quarterback Joe Burrow threw four interceptions. Bengals kicker Evan McPherson, had the potential game winning extra point blocked to send the game into overtime. After many failed drives, Steelers kicker Chris Boswell kicked a 53-yard field goal as time expired in overtime, preventing another tie in the first week.

Chargers: 24, Raiders: 19 The last time these two teams met was at the end of the season last year,which very nearly ended in a tie; this would’ve sent both teams to the playoffs. The Chargers managed to escape with a win against the Raiders, who acquired Davante Adams during the offseason.

Browns: 26, Panthers: 24 One of the more anticipated games of the week saw former Browns Quarterback, Baker Mayfield, seeking revenge on his former team for trading him away for Deshaun Watson who is serving an 11-week suspension following multiple cases of sexual assault. This game looked like an easy win for the Browns during the first half, but Mayfield led the Panthers to a 17-point comeback that would fall short due to rookie kicker Cade York kicking a game winning field goal from 58 yards to win the game for the Browns.

Commanders: 28, Jaguars: 22 For the third time in four years, Washington rushed out onto the field under a new team and began their stint as the Commanders with a win over the Jaguars. Carson Wentz would go on to throw for 313 yards, four touchdowns and two interceptions in his Commanders debut, while Trevor Law-

Vikings: 23, Packers: 7 This was the first game for Aaron Rodgers without Davante Adams, and it clearly showed as Rodgers threw 22/34 for 194 yards and an interception. Justin Jefferson shined during this game, having nine receptions for 184 yards and two touchdowns in this routing of the Packers.

Giants: 21, Titans: 20 A game between two teams with powerful running backs resulted in an upset win by the Giants under new head coach, Brian Daboll. Saquon Barkley rushed the field for a 164-yard performance with a 9.1 yards per carry rate. This game came down to a missed field goal by Titans kicker, Randy Bullock.

Chiefs: 44, Cardinals: 21 Patrick Mahomes, who is starting his first year without Tyreek Hill, showed that he didn’t need Hill as he threw 30/39 for 360 yards and an impressive five touchdowns.

On the other side Kyler Murray, whose contract during the offseason revealed that, for a time, he did not put down his video games to watch film, threw 22/34 for 193 yards and only two touchdowns in this 44-21 defeat by the Chiefs Buccaneers: 19, Cowboys: 3 This game featured the beginning of Tom Brady’s twenty-third season, starting against the Dallas Cowboys, who look to bounce back after an embarrassing end to their season last year against the 49ers. The Buccaneers, however, with the addition of

Golden Hurricane, it was nothing but Tulsa football for the entire half, finishing with a score of 24-7 at halftime.

Something happened to NIU between the end of the first half and the start of the second.The offense looked nonexistent in the first quarter, only scoring a touchdown in the final three minutes of the second quarter, but they looked like a whole different team in the second, scoring 21 unanswered points and blowing the 17 point courtesy @TulsaFootball on Twitter lead Tulsa had entering the second half.

Saturday, Sept. 10 marked the begin- The adjustments NIU made shut the Tulsa ning of the home season for Tulsa football, offense down as Tulsa was forced to rely and it did not disappoint. A lot of ques- heavily on their passing game as leadtions were in need of answering coming ing rushers Prince and Watkins are still into this Week 2 game against Northern Il- MIA with Coach Montgomery not giving linois University. Would the team be able a reason why they have not been playing. to bounce back from the double-overtime Knowing the running attack was lacking, loss against Wyoming? Would early sea- the pressure was applied by the NIU D-line son injuries negatively affect the Offensive as they faced a fairly new O-line and got to Line? Where are Deneric Prince and An- QB Brin, forcing him to get the ball out thony Watkins? And would Davis Brin be quicker than was needed for his receivers able to replicate his Week 1 performance to make plays. After a Keylon Stokes TD, on his home field?

Tulsa regained a 31-28 lead and forced a Doubt and excitement were circulating three-and-out from NIU; it was looking at the University of Tulsa campus on game like Tulsa would be able to close it out day. With many game day atmosphere until the proceeding punt was muffed by changes around the university, the hype Stokes and NIU got the ball back in Tulsa and anticipation for Tulsa football were territory. there for the first time in years, with Coach Capitalizing on a costly TU mistake, Phillip Montgomery being quoted saying NIU was back in control with a little under “It was the best game day atmosphere in six minutes left in the fourth quarter. It was the 8 years I’ve been here.” With improve- time to close it out or take the loss at home ments to the stadium like better lighting, for Tulsa, and Davis Brin wasn’t having play areas and Hall of Fame murals, as any of it. After a huge third and-long catch well as a better tailgate experience with from sophomore wideout Malachi Jones live music, attractions and tailgate booths, and an acrobatic catch at the one-yard line Tulsa fans had everything to look forward by Stokes, Tulsa proceeded to score and to before the game. Still, the one lingering take a 38-35 lead with 58 seconds to go, question would be whether Tulsa football but the game wasn’t over. NIU wasn’t gocould deliver. ing to be a pushover and give Tulsa the After a Week 1 game where the pass- win, especially after scoring 17 points and ing offense was lights out, seeing three holding the lead for the majority of the sec100-yard receivers and quarterback Davis ond half. They started to make their way Brin reach a career-high in passing yards, down the field but after an NIU receiver the confidence in the team was there and tipped a pass, the Tulsa defense saw their the positives far outweighed the negatives. opportunity to secure the victory, and Tyon But as it is most years, Tulsa found them- Davis intercepted the pass to give Tulsa selves struggling to close out a game where their first win of the season. they were slated to win. All this and more It wasn’t the cleanest victory, but what were at risk this week as Tulsa was fight- would Tulsa football be without a stressing to avoid being 0-2 to start the year and inducing finish in which we won in the fipossibly losing fan interest even after the nal minutes. It’s a Tulsa football staple at TU administration put time and effort into this point. The sights are now set on Jackmaking Tulsa game days more appealing sonville State where the Golden Hurricane to fans to boost attendance and bring a is set to play this Saturday Sept. 16 and finlively atmosphere to Skelly Stadium. ish the weekend 2-1 before going on the In the first half, Tulsa looked unbeat- road to face our first ranked opponent of able. Brin didn’t skip a beat from his per- the season in #20 Ole Miss. It’ll be another formance in week 1, finishing the game weekend full of Reign Cane chants, kettle with 322 passing yards and four touch- corn and nothing short of exhilarating footdowns. After finding Juan-Carlos Santan ball. for two early TDs and giving Kentucky Transfer Isaiah Epps his first TD as a

Julio Jones, ended up with the win over the Cowboys. The Cowboys might be in a little trouble as backup quarterback Cooper Rush is taking the head position following a thumb injury to Dak Prescott that will likely see him out for a couple of weeks.

Seahawks: 17, Broncos: 16 Another anticipated game for this week saw new Broncos Quarterback Russel Wilson go against the team he had led to two straight Super Bowl appearances and a victory. During the third quarter, down 13-17,

the Broncos were at the Seahawks’ 1-yard line and could have won the game, , having learned his lesson a couple of years ago in the Super Bowl, handed the ball off to running back Javonte Willions, who proceeded to fumble the ball to Michael Jackson. The game came down to a confusing end by the Broncos, as the Broncos had three timeouts but ran the clock down and forced their kicker Brandon McManus to kick a 64-yard field goal. He missed, giving the Russel Wilson era of the Broncos their first loss.

German Bundesliga is competitive once again The German federal soccer league shifts towa rd brighter days, sports writer Zach Sabel argues.

The German Bundesliga looks set to have its most competitive season in a long time. While it is still very early in the season, at the time of writing, perennial winners Bayern Munich sit 3 points outside of first place with a few teams above them still to play. They could find themselves 5 points out of first by the end of this weekend. Currently, Borussia Dortmund sits atop the table on 15 points, with the mighty little union Berlin currently sitting second on 14 points but set to possibly pick up another 3 tomorrow.

What will also come as a surprise is another small club, SC Freiburg, also sit in third on 13 points with a game to be played tomorrow with a chance to move into first or second pending Union’s result. Hoffenheim and Borussia Mönchengladbach sit equal on points with Bayern but behind on goal difference in 5th and 6th respectively. Eintracht Frankfurt and Mainz sit in 7th and 8th

one point behind Bayern, Hoffenheim and Gladbach just outside of European qualification. At the bottom of the table sit VfB Stuttgart in 16th and the relegation playoff spot and VfL Wolfsburg and VfL Bochum 1848 sitting in 17th and 18th and in danger of relegation and this early stage in the season. A few surprises, aside from Bayern Munich’s loss, would be the positions of RB Leipzig and Bayer Leverkusen. Traditionally, stronger sides that are both struggling with Leipzig stick in the middle of the packs, and Leverkusen fights off a spot in the relegation zone. It is early though, and I’m sure both teams will figure it out and start rapidly climbing the table, just like I’m sure some dark magic will propel Bayern to the top of the table.

The story of the season so far has to be Union Berlin. The little club from the outskirts of Berlin, whose soccer scene has traditionally been dominated by the likes

of Hertha Berlin, is overachieving in every metric as they have done in every single season in their recent stay in the top flight of German football. They finished 11th in their first season in the top flight, a season in which everyone pegged them for relegation.

The next season they shocked the German footballing world by finishing 7th, good enough to qualify for the newly created Europa Conference League. The season after that, which everyone thought they surely must drop off, finished in 5th, led by their star striker Taiwo Awoniyi, qualifying for a Europa League spot. This season everyone thought that surely they won’t be able to repeat this feat, with their star striker sold off to Nottingham Forest in England, but so far they are looking to build on their 5th place finish last season and maybe even dare I say to win the Bundesliga. Led by a new young striker in the form of American Jordan Siebatcheu (also known as Pefok), and a some-

how even better Sheraldo Becker, they have yet to lose a game through their first six matches, drawing twice and winning four of their games, including a draw to Bayern Munich. Should Union Berlin manage to do the impossible and win the league this season they would not only be making the history of their club but of East Germany.

No club from the former GDR has won the Bundesliga since the two nations became one at the end of the Cold War. It would also be the first time since the 2011-12 season that a team other than Bayern Munich has won the trophy, and since 2008-09 that a team other than Borussia Dortmund or Bayern Munich has won the title. While it remains likely that Munich or Dortmund will win the title, it’s nice to see the little guy punching upward, giving hope to competitive German football once again.

News

The Collegian: 4

September 19, 2022

DNA samples being taken for Tulsa Race Massacre grave identification New technology can allow the Tulsa Race Massacre victims to be identified, but could be at the expense of other’s privacy.

Erica Herrara Student Writer Once referred to as “Tulsa’s dirty secret”

by Sen. Kevin Matthews, the 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre has been an incident of our city’s history often pushed under the rug.

Approximately 35 square blocks of Tulsa’s Greenwood District, known then colloquially as “Black Wall Street” was destroyed in one of the worst instances of racial violence ever to take place in the United

interest has also given way to controversy about how to deal with such an atrocity more than 100 years later.

One of the most recent controversial projects is the city of Tulsa’s recent efforts to investigate three potential sites they believe to be the mass graves containing massacre victims’ bodies. While the investigation that uncovered the potential sites originally took place in the late 90’s, various factors delayed it until Mayor G.T. Bynum launched his own in 2019. This more recent iteration of the research has recently come under scrutiny due to the usage of donated DNA samples from the Greenwood community to trace descendants of the victims found in these graves.

place for the database of DNA collected.

One issue that comes to mind is how such a database could be used by police due to the fact that it will comprise black Tulsans’ genetic family trees, a group that already faces disproportionate targeting by law enforcement. The city of Tulsa has responded to these criticisms by clearing the air about how exactly it will be handling the collecting of DNA, which are third-party databases (i.e., Ancestry.com, 23AndMe).

Unfortunately, these third-party entities have already come under fire themselves for providing data to law enforcement to

solve difficult cases, such as in the case of the Golden State Killer.

Taking into consideration that Greenwood residents have had to wait over 100 years to receive answers about the victims buried in mass graves, it’s no surprise they are hesitant to trust the city of Tulsa’s efforts now. Ultimately, Black Tulsans are being urged not to submit DNA, with the only response from the 1921 Graves Investigation Public Oversight Committee so far being a meeting that will take place on September 13 to discuss the process of DNA analysis on victims’ remains.

“Part of the hasty cover-up efforts included burying massacre victims in unmarked mass graves.”

States. After the riots, tens of thousands of black Tulsans were left homeless, and Greenwood suffered over $35 million in property damage.

Unfortunately, what followed then was decades of secrecy with the event rarely being acknowledged in local and state history. Part of the hasty cover-up efforts included burying massacre victims in unmarked mass graves. These mass graves have become a point of contention as local interest has risen in the event. This rise in

The most vocal critic so far has been the Justice for Greenwood Foundation, a network of various experts and volunteers who advocate for justice for Massacre survivors and reparations for their descendants and the present-day Greenwood community.

The foundation has raised valid concerns regarding privacy and unforeseen repercussions DNA contributors could face after providing such sensitive information.

The foundation’s legal team has branded the undertaking as “dangerous” and “reckless” due to a lack of privacy protections in

The fires burn across the Greenwoood district of Tulsa in 1921.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Fab Lab Tulsa promoting Queen Elizabeth II, looking at her life and reign tech literacy and innovation Fab Lab Tulsa is a space where people who want to learn skills in software design thinking and machine working can take classes.

Erika Brock News Editor Fab Lab Tulsa is a non-profit makerspace with an educational mission. Fab Lab (short for Fabrication Laboratory) is a space for independent innovators who are hoping to gain design-thinking skills and improve problem-solving abilities with innovation and creativity by signing up for a membership and enrolling in courses. These courses and membership teaches users how to use machines and software they normally wouldn’t have access to because the majority of Fab Lab users are people who have very little background in machine work or creation software. It is meant to be a userfriendly experience that helps people gain confidence and learn how to make what they want or need.

The concept was developed by a popular MIT professor with his course “How to Make Almost Anything,” and at the end of this, he had left students with a very simple Fab Lab that allowed them to make almost anything they could imagine and the con-

simple machines that also combine different kinds of software and creation aspects.

Students can get familiar with how these work and merge different disciplines of machine learning: the technical aspect and the software that allows the designs to come to life. Once mastering the simple machines, students can move on to larger, more complicated ones in order to do woodworking and metalworking. Currently, Fab Lab Tulsa is still ensuring that their larger machinery is calibrated correctly and safe for inexperienced learners to use.

The software can be taught both remotely and in person. Members have access to a large amount of different kinds of software learning courses, 2D and 3D design software, microcontrollers software, programming with python and circuit design, as well as paid licensed software such as CAD, Solidworks, Adobe Illustrator and more.

The knowledge after learning how to use these can then be brought to the machines to bring users’ visions to life.

Membership at Fab Lab can be best suited to the user. Currently, there is not an option dedicated to college students, but the most common one with college students is the “Tinker” membership plan. This plan was designed specifically with college students in mind and provides access to Fab Lab and its resources for four months, roughly the

“It is meant to be a user-friendly experince that helps people ... make what they want or need.” fidence to do so. Since this first Fab Lab, nearly 1,800 have spread across the United States and around the world.

The Fab Lab in Tulsa has been around for over 11 years, and recently has moved buildings and is in the process of updating all of the machines available for people to work with. Inside Fab Lab Tulsa, there are different studios and shops available to members and students as they are learning or have passed courses to have access to these machines. Students start with more simple machines in order to help them gain confidence that they can learn how to use these machines.

A good first start would be the laser cutters or 3D printers. These are both fairly

same length as a college semester, and is billed in a single invoice. The other options are a year-long plan, and a modular plan that is billed based on the module course that the member is taking. Each plan has a cap on the number of hours that members can spend inside Fab Lab and the plans are meant for adults only due to the inherent danger that comes with using large, heavy machinery.

Fab Lab is a wonderful resource to the Tulsa community and can allow people to express their ideas in ways that would not be possible if they did not have the ability to gain the knowledge or access to the machines that are expensive and a very large commitment to own.

Fab Lab Tulsa’s recently unveiled new location is now open as of May of 2022.

courtesy Facebook @FabLabTulsa

Queen Elizabeth II had the longest reign of any monarch in the United Kingdom and wasn’t even born to be the queen.

Victoria Grossman Student Writer On Sept. 8, the United Kingdom’s longest reigning monarch passed away at the age of 96. Queen Elizabeth II, having ruled the UK for more than seventy years, died peacefully at her Balmoral Castle, widely considered by the press to have been her favorite of the royal properties. She is preceded in

Greece and Denmark, coincidentally a distant cousin of hers. Almost a year after their wedding, the now-King Charles III was born, and three more children followed: Anne, Andrew and Edward.

Queen Elizabeth’s time as regnant was not without its controversies, however. After a very publicly tumultuous marriage, then-Prince Charles divorced his beloved wife, Princess Diana, in 1996, causing a media firestorm to descend upon the royals.

The pressure became even greater when Diana died, as two billion sets of eyes watched every royal move during her funeral. More recently, the queen had come under fire for

“Queen Elizabeth II has long been lauded as one of the greatest British monarchs in history...” death by her husband, Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh, whom she was married to for almost seventy five years. Queen Elizabeth II has long been lauded as one of the greatest British monarchs in history, but she was not even born to be queen.

In 1936, Queen Elizabeth’s uncle became king following the death of his father. King Edward VIII reigned for less than a year before abdicating the throne in order to marry American divorcee Wallis Simpson.

Following his abdication, he was given the title Duke of Windsor and moved to Paris with his new wife. Queen Elizabeth’s father then became King George VI, making Elizabeth the heir-apparent to the throne.

Then in 1952, when her father died at age 57 of a heart attack, Queen Elizabeth II was crowned at only 25.

As a princess, Queen Elizabeth served as a mechanic in World War II, and celebrated incognito in a crowd when Allied forces achieved victory in Europe. At age 21, she became engaged to then-Prince Philip of

the actions of her son, Prince Andrew, who had been a known friend of Jeffrey Epstein and settled a sexual abuse case out of court in Feb. 2022. In recent years, particularly since the death of Prince Philip, the late queen took a step back from some of her royal duties.

The body of the late monarch is currently lying in state at the Palace of Westminster.

Queen Elizabeth’s funeral is scheduled to be held Monday, Sept. 19, at 11 a.m. local time, which is 5 a.m. Central Daylight Time.

At the end of the funeral, a two-minute nationwide silence will be observed before her body is buried in Windsor Castle, alongside her parents and late husband. The former Prince Charles immediately ascended to the throne upon the death of his mother, and has decided to keep his birth name upon becoming monarch, making him King Charles III. Queen Elizabeth is survived by her four children, eight grandchildren, twelve greatgrandchildren and countless corgis.

Queen Elizabeth II poses for an official portrait right before her tour in 1959.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Commentary

September 19, 2022

The Collegian: 5

Andrew Tate censored by media platforms

Andrew Tate was recently banned from popular social media platforms for hate speech.

Abby Fakhoury Student Writer At the dinner table one evening this summer, my sixteen year-old brother pulled out his phone and showed me a video of a tattooed, muscular man who thought that heart attacks were bogus and claimed that one should “grab a beer and walk it off.”

We joked about this and my brother feigned agreement just to annoy me, but when the laughter died down we both dismissed the man who was very passionately ranting about the weakness of those who suffer heart attacks as delusional. A few nights later, I saw another video of this man, and learned his name was Andrew Tate. My

an imparied sense of morality and “no responsibility or honor.” He once gave the example that if a woman crashed his car, she’d make excuses while a man would simply apologize. Given his belief that women lack responsibility, it’s ironic that he claims women are partially to blame if they are victims of rape, which therefore means that women are only responsible for men’s violations of their autonomy. He also said if a woman accused him of cheating, he’d “bang out the machete, boom in her face, and grip her by the neck.” By illustrating these irrational responses, he’s implying that women don’t have valid feelings or thoughts that are aren’t worth listening to. In fact, he doesn’t even use the word “woman” but rather “bitch” or “hoe,”, which is degrading in itself. His blatant refusal to acknowledge women as intellectually and emotionally competent lies in accordance with his belief that women shouldn’t be autonomous. In a past interview he claimed, “I’m not saying they’re property… I am saying they are given to the man and belong to the man.” If they’re not property, then who could have the power to give them away? And how can someone belong to you if they’re not your property? All of his values and the way that he speaks about women has contributed to a rhetoric that promotes violence, disrespect and misogyny. He was recently banned from all popular social media outlets, including Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and Facebook because of hate speech.

I do not support censorship that aims to

“... he claims women are partially to blame if they are victims of rape ...”

Andrew Tate’s controversial views have been widely criticized.

brother and I knew that his videos didn’t hold any ground in reason, and therefore were entirely convinced everything he assertively spewed out was his attempt at a twisted joke. It never crossed my mind that people would actually accept his principles.

Arguably, his most dangerous tenets lie in his opinions on women and his blatant misogyny. He believes that women have

that person has a reputable and legitimate background; Andrew Tate moved to Romania because of their lax policies regarding sexual assualt and corruption. This is not a man who has the morals or even business practices to legitimize anything that he says.

His beliefs are not only hateful and counterproductive to any fruitful conversation, but they are truly dangerous. The way he

silence opposing views or even propaganda, because I don’t believe that an entity like social media should have the power to filter the news and decide what the truth is. However, if a user is promoting rhetoric that encourages abuse, violence, and misogyny, then their presence on social platforms is entirely negative. If anyone is to take another person seriously, then they should make sure

courtesy wikimedia commons

delivers his messages is in a way that promotes his idea of masculinity by demeaning women. It’s unfortunate that some viewers associate Tate’s ideologies about women and violence with masculinity, because I think we can all agree that those values are nothing but destructive.

Jackson’s water crisis has no end in sight

After weeks of intense flooding, the city’s water infrastructure has collapsed after decades of underfunding and lack of maintenance.

Azul Ibarra Student Writer Mississippi. The Magnolia State. Home to the beachfront city of Biloxi, Elvis Presley’s birthplace in Tupelo and many lush green grasslands, it is now the state where its capital city of Jackson is currently facing the menacing and severe obstacle of survival. Throughout the summer, Missis-

sippi was one of many places throughout the U.S. to face the ever-increasing effects of climate change in the form of disastrous floods from heavy rainfall, which caused the Pearl River to overflow. Jackson, home to over a hundred eighty thousand people with its civilian population comprising mostly of Black Americans at around 82%, has no safe drinking water available. Homes and businesses around the city are left with little to no water pressure, hospitals and schools are unable to flush the toilets in their facilities and almost all of Jackson schools are now conducting lessons online.

However, that’s not all. According to journalist Amir Vera who writes for CNN, “Residents of all ages were seen waiting in lines more than a mile long at Hawkins Field Airport for at least two hours Tuesday for just one case of bottled water.” During a press conference on Sept. 1, Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves further elaborated on the ongoing situation stating the city could “not produce enough water to fight fires, to reliably flush toilets and to meet other critical needs.” The governor continued on by saying replacing our largest cities infrastructure of running water with human distribution is a massively complicated logistical task.” Jackson mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba also released a statement regard-

Jackson has had water disruptions in the past, such as raw sewage found in the city’s pipelines.

ing the ongoing crisis: “We suffer in the southern portion of our city most disproportionately. Some of the most impoverished parts of our city are feeling the brunt of this challenge more consistently and worse off than the rest of our city.”

Mississippians. The brutal truth that follows is that the politicians in the Mississippi state legislature knew of the impending problem regarding Jackson’s water infrastructure and they purposefully chose for decades not to do anything about it.

“Jackson ... has no safe drinking water available.”

How did it come to this? Unsurprisingly, this is not the first public crisis the residents of Jackson have endured. Incompetence in Mississippi has varied from issue to issue.

Just last year, Jackson had yet another water disruption due to raw sewage being found in the city pipelines which was followed by immediate condemnation from EPA. Mishandling of COVID-19 and enacting tax breaks that cut funding from public services are all prime examples of how little care the state government actually puts into improving the lives of its citizens. What makes this story and situation more infuriating is that the Republican legislature has been completely oblivious to the ever-growing problem. Republicans have been in charge of the state for decades offering no support or any kind of improvement to the lives of ordinary

It looks like the luck for Jackson’s water system finally ran out in the late days of July after decade-long incompetence and underfunding of the city’s water system.

Now, hundreds of thousands are stranded and forced to stand hours in line for one measly case of bottled water that they may or may not receive. They are forced to use port-a-potties because their restroom facilities don’t work. They are forced to drink potentially heavily contaminated water. The people of Jackson will have to wait around for weeks to see if the government will offer them some sort of relief to get through these difficult times.

courtesy wikimedia commons

The Collegian: 6

Variety

September 19, 2022

New dining options available for on-campus dining The TU mobile dining app is becoming more relevant for college students

Matthew Montanio Student Writer For the longest time, there has been pervasive concern over the dining options at the University. There had been only the Pat Case Dining Center and the Student Union to consider for on-campus dining, and those options already had a few natural limitations. For example, none of these dining options were ever available past 9:00pm or had spotty hours on the weekends. Grubhub was also an option but only if you had managed to dump some cash into getting Hurricane GOLD dining dollars. The big concern here was that dining options wouldn’t be available for weekend dining or a late-night study session.

go pick up food from the Pat Case dining center.

With this new dining app, specifically for Mr. Beast Burger, there is now more accessible food for weird dining hours. Where there once was only Subway open until 11:00pm, Mr. Beast Burger extends those options to having burgers as well. That’s perfect for a late night pick-me-up where I could finish work that I shouldn’t have procrastinated on.

Not only does this app give more timefriendly options, but it also gives more opportunities to use dining dollars instead of cash/card. Since virtual dining is still an on-campus option, dining dollars can be allocated to pay for your meals, lightening the load on cash that could be spent buying supplies or amenities outside of the campus currency system.

Alongside Mr. Beast Burger, there are new virtual options that will eventually offer cheesesteaks, cookies and cakes in the future. All these new options look promis-

“That’s perfect for a late night pick-me-up where I could finish work that I shouldn’t have procrastinated on.”

Fortunately, Transact Mobile Ordering, TU’s dining app, has updated this week to now include Mr. Beast Burger, and there are going to be even more options added in the coming weeks. By opening my dining app, I can now place an order at Mr. Beast Burger in a fashion similar to other dining apps and

ing for adding variety to the dining options here at the university. The cookies and cakes are a very interesting addition, being among the first places here to focus solely on desserts.

Ironically, out of all these cool food additions, it is the first option that is the least

See Me After Class is a weekly column where a different professor reveals their variety favorites.

Ri Le, the Vietnamese restaurant in south Tulsa. I don’t have a notable routine, though I usually order the same thing once I discover what I like at a restaurant.

Shelby Hiens Commentary Editor Brad Carson is the 21st president of TU and former U.S. Under Secretary of the Army. He received his B.A. from Baylor University, a second B.A. from the University of Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar and his J.D. from the University of Oklahoma. Carson was elected to the House of Representatives in 2000 as a Democrat. ​He has also run two 250 mile foot races, one through the Sahara Desert (the Marathon Des Sables) and one through the Amazon jungle.

What’s your favorite book? What book would you say all undergrads need to read before they graduate?

My favorite book is “Catch-22” by Joseph Heller. The one book I’d recommend undergraduates read is “The Logic of Collective Action” by Mancur Olsen, a book that completely changed the way I thought about politics.

An order of a burger, fries and cookies cost about $15, a little more than your average Tulsa Burger order.

compelling out of the new dining options.

Tulsa Burger & Co. already fills the burger gap at the school, so it’s strange that Mr. Beast Burger, another burger joint, is the first option in this otherwise interesting lineup to be implemented into the school.

Mr. Beast is an overall average dining option for burgers, and they charge more than Tulsa Burger to give less food, so there isn’t a real reason other than convenience to pick Mr. Beast Burger over Tulsa Burger. Even if the extended availability is a plus, the late hours may not even be taken advantage of if

courtesy utulsa.edu

students sleep before 11:00pm anyway, so it makes the option less compelling.

Regardless, these new options should make dining more accessible and give more variety, so it’s definitely worth the effort to download the Transact Mobile Ordering app, if only to use it occasionally.

Is there a media/pop culture/entertainment/music side to you that students wouldn’t expect?

Yes, I think so! I love pop culture, Hollywood gossip and lowbrow tv shows.

If you had to pick three songs for a Playlist of Your Life, what would they be?

“Thunder Road” by Bruce Springsteen, “Wish You Were Here” by Pink Floyd, “Good Old Boys Like Me” by Don Williams Is it true that while you attended Baylor, you and Mike Smith would cheat at spades by trading cards with your toes?

I read this on your Wikipedia page and wondered if there were any merit to it. ​I don’t remember that, but this story has the ring of truth.

“Sunset Boulevard and Apocalypse Now are the two movies that I will watch anytime that I can; they are my very favorite films.”

What’s reading like for you? Is there a specific setting, mood, drink set-up?

I read a lot, but there is no particular setting. I’m pretty busy, so I often read late at night or on the weekends.

Is there a movie/show that you always return to?

“Sunset Boulevard” and “Apocalypse Now” are the two movies that I will watch anytime that I can; they are my very favorite films.

What was the last book/movie/show that you actually found funny? “​Silicon Valley”, the comedy on HBO.​ What’s your favorite Tulsa restaurant?

Do you have any food/restaurant routines?

President Carson started at The University of Tulsa in the fall os 2021

courtesy @utulsa on twitter

September 19, 2022

Variety

The Collegian: 7

‘Don’t Worry Darling’ (But I am) Harry Styles and Chris Pine take the internet by storm with spitting incident.

Mary Lickona Business & Advertsing Manager Any Harry Styles fan could tell you about his iconic tour performances of his song “Kiwi.” He jumps around the stage, dancing crazily and, as a finale, fills up his mouth with water and spews it up into the air like a whale (I know it sounds ridiculous but if you’ve listened to “Kiwi” you’d understand). Harry Styles then, is no amatuer to expelling water from his mouth.

Despite this common knowledge (to Harries that is), the internet was overcome when it appearewd that Harry Styles, at the Venice International Film Festival preview of the psychological thriller “Don’t Worry Darling” (starring Harry Styles and Florence Pugh), spit on his co-star Chris Pine.

The video of the alleged spitting has circulated everywhere on the internet, with many condemning Styles for this completely unprofessional and childish behavior, while others insist there must have been another explanation of Pine’s reaction to Styles allegedly spitting on him.

In the video, Styles is getting into his seat next to Pine when he moves his mouth in what looks like a spitting motion (though no spit can be seen in the air) and Pine reacts by looking down where the spit would have landed and chuckles to himself. Harry Styles obviously did something that caused a reaction from Chris Pine. Whether that actually was spitting or something else he did or said is debatable.

Both Styles and Pine,or at least Pine’s representatives, have addressed the spitting, insisting that the incident is a “complete

fabrication” and that “There is nothing but respect between these two men…” Styles has addressed this incident publicly by joking about it at one of his tour performances.

A video from him at Madison Square Garden shows him saying, “I just popped very quickly to Venice to spit on Chris Pine.”

However, if Harry Styles did spit on Chris Pine, it could have been because of all the tensions that have been running high surrounding the release of “Don’t Worry Darling.” The actors and director, Olivia Wilde, struggled to get along both on and

tion has come out concerning why Florence Pugh might be frustrated, though she has expressed unhappiness with how the movie was being received, mostly due to Harry Styles’ involvement and the reaction from his fans. She stated that she was annoyed with how all the reactions were focusing on the sex scenes between her and Styles in the film. “When its reduced to your sex scenes or to watch the most famous man in the world go down on someone, it’s not why we do it. It’s not why I’m in this industry.”

Pugh said.

“... most of the actors and director were not engaging in direct interaction ... except Chris Pine and Harry Styles, of course.” off the red carpet. Several stories have come out about the filming, such as a switch in the casting of Jack, Harry Styles’ character.

Shia LaBeouf was initially cast but then Wilde fired him to ensure a smoother working environment for Florence Pugh (Wilde expressed a desire to ensure that Florence Pugh felt safe and comfortable to film and that Shia LaBouf’s process was not conducive to that). However, as Shia LaBouf tells it, he quit and Oliva Wilde begged him to come back, going so far as to send a video to both him and Florence Pugh, asking them to try to work it out.

Once Harry Styles was hired however, Olivia Wilde seemed to have few complaints about the casting of Jack. In fact, she and Harry Styles have since then started dating. Though not uncommon for actors and directors to date, it is a bit unprofessional.

In addition, once the film was being publicized by cast and crew, Florence Pugh, arguably one of the biggest stars of the film, did very little to publicize the film, suggesting that she wished to distance herself from the film and Olivia Wilde. No exact informa-

Florence Pugh was also absent for most of the press tour promoting “Don’t Worry Darling,” though she was able to make it to the Venice Film Festival Premiere, where the supposed spitting took place. Although Florence was not present for most of the tour, Olivia Wilde was glowing with praise

for her, a sentiment that Pugh has not publicly returned. In fact, at the Film Festival most of the actors and director were not engaging in direct interaction with each other or sitting next to each other, except Chris Pine and Harry Styles, of course. This apparent tension, potentially caused by the behind-the-scenes drama, could have been the reason for Harry Styles to spit on Chris Pine, or it could have been the reason the internet was so quick to declare that he did.

“Don’t Worry Darling” looks to be another classic case of he-said, she-said Hollywood drama that will feed into the rumor mill and cause us to have a sour taste in our mouths when referring to certain Hollywood celebrities. Key phrase of that being he-said, she-said. Most Hollywood drama is given to us, the overly curious public, through bits and pieces, and even then these bits are presented through a certain lens. Did Harry Styles actually spit on Chris Pine?

Maybe he did, but I think the internet is always on the lookout for drama and for finding an explanation to a situation that we are not involved in.

Banned Book Week: staff picks Florence Pugh and Harry Styles both star in “Don’t Worry Darling”

The Collegian staff discuss some of their favorite books that have survived through censorship campaigns.

for it being placed on the banned list. Hinton was bringing awareness to these issues and showing how a child can get through it. I am personally disappointed to see it be banned.

Celeste: Believe it or not, “The Outsiders” by Tulsa Native S.E. Hinton was banned in a Wisconsin school district in 1986. The school board that banned it argued that the young adult novel used too much vulgar language and portrayed characters from broken homes.

I remember the first time I read “The Outsiders”–or I should say, had it read to me–when I was in eighth grade. Our writing teacher committed a week of class to read us this famous novel aloud. I can’t think of a better age to encounter this story than middle school, when Hinton’s words about the

garet Atwood has been a book long challenged as well as banned in states all over the country. This dystopian novel is set in a world with dangerously low reproduction rates, and in order to solve infertility issues, especially in high ranking officials, they are assigned a “handmaid,” who’s job is to bear children for the couple. Due to the relatively graphic nature of the novel, it has long suffered scrutiny in the classroom due to “vulgarity and sexual overtones.” This book is a critique of the treatment of women in the past and present, and Atwood stated that the actions of the people in the book were the actions of people at some point in history, somewhere in the world. This is a very thought provoking book that tackles very heavy themes, and should not be banned because of that.

courtesy @dontworrydarlin on twitter

tors were stabbed back when the novel was originally published. Rushdie survived the attempt made on his life, but will be on a long road to recovery.

“Rushdie survived the attempt made on his life, but will be on a long road to recovery. “

courtesy wikimedia commons

Zach: I would be remiss if I didn’t mention “Ulysses” as a favorite banned book of mine. Banned or burned in much of the English-speaking world, the book follows two protagonists to recount a single day in Dub-

struggles of identity, family, friendships and social status hit straight home. You’ve likely never been a teenager in the 60s, probably weren’t a greaser and hopefully never had to flee from authorities for self-defense manslaughter–but Ponyboy’s story is your story.

You understand him, and he understands you. What continues to make this book so

“The school board that banned it argued that the young adult novel used too much vulgar language and portrayed characters from broken homes.”

lin on June 16, 1904, a day significant to the author James Joyce. The ban of the book in the U.S. made it to court, and Judge John M. Woolsey delivered a famous 1933 opinion lifting bans on the 1922 novel, the decision being a good read on its own. Arguably the best book of the 20th century, if not ever, “Ulysses” is one that I cannot recommend strongly enough. If nothing else, everyone should read it before deciding whether it should suffer a ban.

Caspian: Tulsa native, S.E. Hinton has recently had her novel “The Outsiders” added to the PEN American’s Index of School Book Bans, which has led it to be banned or proposed to be banned at various Oklahoma public schools. Hinton herself had started writing it at the age of 15 and later published it at 18 in 1967. The novel is a coming-ofage story, including the protagonist Ponyboy Curtis, a 14-year-old greaser living in a world with the odds against him. While he’s trying to stay afloat various opticals such as gang violence, teen smoking and drinking surround him. This is most likely the reason

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attractive half a century after it was originally published is how incredibly real it is to a young adult audience: vulgar language, broken homes and all.

Erika: “The Handmaid’s Tale” by Mar-

Isabella: Laurie Halse Anderson’s young adult novel “speak” has been among the top-ranking banned and challenged books for years. This book follows the aftermath of sexual assault from the perspective of a young girl named Melinda who was raped at a party over the summer. Multiple times, this book has been challenged in the US since 2000. Individuals have stated the book shouldn’t be allowed as it contains sexual scenes/topics involving minors. Others have commented that such sensitive topics shouldn’t be introduced at such a young age in a classroom setting. Personally, I read this book in my freshman year of high school and it very quickly became one of my favorite books I had ever read. I was introduced to the novel in my English class as a required text. Yes, the book involves sensitive topics (almost every book does), but it allows students to become educated on these topics from the perspective of a character around the same age. Topics such as sexual assault are not topics that should be hidden from students; it’s better to be aware and educated than blind and clueless.

Maddie: Salmon Rushdie, author of “The Satanic Verses,” recently had an attack made on his life as he was giving a public speech in Chautauqua, New York, and this is the latest of a long list of attempts. Published in 1988, 13 different countries banned “The Satanic Verses” for blasphemy. One year later, the (then) Supreme Leader of Iran issued an execution proclamation and bounty for the death of Rushdie. In fact, he’s not the only one to suffer for the plight of this novel; the Italian and Japanese transla-

courtesy wikimedia commons

the

The State-Run Media

September 19, 2022

State-Run media Under no pretext should arms and ammunition be surrendered; any attempt to disarm the workers must be frustrated, by force if necessary. . .

University installing mandatory gun use training because ‘you’re on your own’

The training was accompanied by lege students the age of my children? That of “hashtag,” I decided I was done internew policy encouraging all students While the beloved Dean of Students is borderline Orwellian.” viewing for the week. to strap up. touted the progressive effect of the new I also reached out for response from After taking the training, I am not conKyle Garrison Local bastard.

As it does every fall, the university has recently released its mandatory online trainings. The usual consent and alcohol use trainings are present, but students noticed this past Friday an additional unit added to the list: firearm usage. In an era of mass shootings, of lacking sexual assault prevention methods and of religious prosecution by means of teaching evolution in schools, is this the solution campuses across America have been overlooking?

We reached out to the Dean of Students for comment. He explained that, “because we are not able or willing to work to prevent problems such as sexual assault or interpersonal violence, we decided that the best method of prevention was telling all the students to buy guns and stepping back.” This problem, he argued, “cannot be solved by putting up lights by frat row, or following through on rape cases or punishing or expelling rapists. So naturally, we thought the ability to defend yourself was more important. This is also a racial equality effort, as according to school policy, we expel Black students with guns and weed, not rapists nor white students with guns and weed. Now all students will be allowed to have guns.”

training, not everyone was as pleased. We talked to one Campo officer who had several concerns with some externalities of the new policy and its training. “How are we going to harass students of color if they have guns?” asked one skeptical mustached Campo officer. He also explained “my job is already scary because some of the students I have hit on have had pepper spray on them. Now that they will have guns, will I have to find another way to flirt with col-

some of the student political groups on campus for comment. A representative from the College Republicans had a mixed reaction, “on one hand, I love guns; on the other, I don’t want Blacks and gays to be armed.” The College Democrats explained that “Guns are not the solution to sexual assault or violence in general; we are better off compromising with the rapists, mass shooters and sinners. They are people too #resist #NancyPelosi.” After the verbal use

vinced this will solve any of our campus’ problems, but the constant gunfire heard around campus does cover up the irritating sound of fireworks from the football stadium, so I will keep an open mind. Also, fraternity rivalries should be more interesting now, with which I have no problem. After years of Civil War reenactments, they can finally use real guns to vent their frustrations.

graphic by Kyle Garrison

Turns out our updated mascot is just Captain Cane again, but this time with a gun.

Rabid lawn Roombas out for blood

The lawn Roombas get a taste for blood. Administration doesn’t care, but what else is new?

Shelby Hiens Write for commentary and she won’t send the Roombas after you.

In August, TU bought two oversized Roombas to mow the grass in the Old U. They were quickly deemed harmless by everyone except the obsessive-compulsive students on campus, who were horrified when they looked upon the vast green and reportedly saw disgusting criss-crossed lines in the grass. The robots weren’t physically hurting anyone, that is, until the month-long warranty on which President Brad Carson had splurged expired.

Students recall the robots acting strange the first week of September. Where the robotic landscapers once followed long, straight paths in the greenery, they now whirr in circles making scary, weird clanking noises. Some students said they actually preferred the sound of the human lawnmower crew kicking up grass and pollen as they walked to class over whatever the hell those creepy ass Roombas were doing.

“They look like crop circles,” sophomore Jeremy Jergens stated, looking over his shoulder at what used to be the beautiful Dietler Commons. “Watch your back, bro. You know aliens are real, right?” Jergens continued to look over his shoulder periodically as he rushed off.

Later in the week, senior art major Willow Willis fell victim to a vicious attack as she cut across the green late at night. She sustained severe injuries to both achilles heels and was hospitalized after a freshman discovered her screaming on his way

to a booty call. When asked for a statement, Willis said, “One second it was passing by and the next —” Willis trailed off in a fit of sobs, unable to complete the sentence.

On Friday, tragedy struck once again. Jonah Johns recounts the date he was having with his longtime girlfriend of two months.

“We were having, like, a really good date.

I’m serious. She actually might’ve been the one.” When pressed for details, Johns said, “We were lying on our picnic blanket in the Old U, because my skin is sensitive to the grass, of course, and I left to go take a piss. I wasn’t gone for more than five minutes, but when I came back she was gone!

The blanket was shredded up and soaked in blood. Like, real blood! I looked around for her but she was just gone. I did find this, though.” Johns held up a broken pink acrylic nail. “It’s all I have left of her,” he added.

As more students began complaining about the dangerous lawn Roombas, TU administration realized they could no longer pretend to ignore the issue. An email blast was sent out Saturday morning, not really addressing but severely downplaying the Roomba related incidents. It warned students to steer clear of the Old U and to stop tampering with university equipment, which was the reason the robots were being provoked, according to administration. The email also stated that TU was not liable for damages to students or their property.

Since last week, five students have been reported missing by professors who take attendance and fellow students.

“How is this happening? Why is this happening?” A coordinator for resident life opens up about her son’s disappearance.

“I can’t figure out why his Life 360 isn’t working! His last known location keeps popping up near the charging station by Lottie, but he’s not there!”

Students reportedly noticed a putrid smell and more flies than usual surround-

Luckily the Roombas have warning signs so TU is not legally liable for maiming.

ing the charging bases in the last week.

When Campo finally deemed it time to investigate after students conducted two petitions and a protest outside Collins Hall, they moved the charging bases and found remnants of bone and clothing underneath.

Due to the investment the board made into the robots, they have decided to remote wipe and reprogram the lawn Roombas despite an overwhelming response

graphic by Kyle Garrison

from students wishing to destroy them for their crimes.

“We can’t let that money go to waste,” one board member said, laughing in my face. “Do you even know how much we pay to make this goddamned campus look nice? Be grateful.”