22 October 2018

News

The Collegian: 2

22 October 2018

Meal swipe changes enforce existing rules

The Caf’s stricter policies stem from a concern with the new Pay it Forward program. Madison Connell Satire Editor

Students might have noticed changes to the meal swipe program at the Pat Case Dining Center around the beginning of the school year. Mike Neal, the food service director on campus, said that these are not so much changes but rather an enforcing of existing rules. Some of these rules include only swiping your own ID card, swiping a maximum of three times a day for most meal plans and not allowing you to swipe for a meal period that has already passed. Students abusing the system, sometimes unknowingly, caused the recent implementation of the rules. “What we think was happening is that our cashier saw that all these buckets were open at one time, and yet it wasn’t necessarily programmed where one opens and closes and it’s gone forever,” said Mike Neal. “We think it was more like, ‘Hey, you have four meals left for today, why don’t you use them?’” The computer program used for the meal swipes has different buckets for each meal period where, once one passes, the program should not allow cashiers to swipe students for an already-passed meal. This is standard in cafeterias across the United States. Other confusion arose around guest swipes. Trace Kast, the resident dining

manager, clarified. Only first- and secondyear meal plans have guest swipes, but all students are allowed to use extra swipes as a guest swipe, Kast said, “As long as that period hasn’t ended. I’m OK with you coming in and letting a friend do that.” Of all the changes, Neal said that, “The only thing we really really felt compassionate about to really cracking down on is bringing someone else’s card that wasn’t present at the time of the swipe. There is a few exceptions on that. If your roommate is sick and you know she’s sick, you say, ‘I’m taking her her food because she can’t get out of bed.’ There has never been a problem or I think an abuse to that.”

someplace that everyone knows that you’re walking in that you must need something.” The four places where students can anonymously pick up the vouchers include the housing office, the financial aid office, Student Affairs and CSAS. Food insecurity is typically described as not knowing where one’s next meal is coming from and not having the resources to get enough food. Neal said the reason they set the meal voucher program up this way is that, “We have people that would love to gift money to the university for food insecurity — the only catch-all problem that we have is that a lot of people would want to give, [and what] we’re stuck with is how do we gift and they

“This semester, there have been only five or six [meal donations.]” The biggest of the changes the cafeteria endured was brought on by the students. In March of 2018, the university started a meal voucher program for the food-insecure around campus. Students could donate their unused meals during the week to help out other TU students who needed a meal. “Trace [Kast] is really good at taking the names, and then however many want to donate, and then we create vouchers and then we hand out the vouchers to four departments on campus that can identify the need,” said Neal. “But more important, [we] give it out anonymously so that there’s not

know their gift went to a food insecure [person] anonymously, because once you put a name or a student ID down, you can affect someone’s financial aid.” Last year, the meal voucher program donated around 55 meals. This semester, there have only been five or six. This decline caused Kast and Neal to worry that TU’s new program Pay it Forward is cutting into helping the food-insecure on campus. “I don’t have a problem with running both of [the meal swipe donation programs] simultaneously,” said Neal. “My problem is that I feel like, as a steward of students here

skills in accomplishing these goals, likening himself to Donald Trump. After graduating from Oklahoma State University, Stitt became an entrepreneur and businessman, and founded Gateway Mortgage in 2000. The line to get inside the event wrapped around the building as people waited patiently to hear what Pence had to say about Stitt. According to venue officials, they underestimated how many people would show up, saying that “this is one of the biggest crowds that the vice president has been in front of during a campaign.” Tulsa Police says that about 2,000 people attended the rally. A mother and daughter from Muskogee had come out to show their support for public education and diversity and held a sign that said, “Yes, All Lives Matter. Black

lives, LGBT Lives, White Lives, Student Lives, Immigrant Lives. All Means All.” Supporters for Drew Edmondson, the Democratic candidate for Oklahoma Governor, were also present. Stitt had many leading political figures come out to support him. U.S. Senators Jim Inhofe and James Lankford and U.S. Representative Markwayne Mullin spoke prior to Pence’s arrival to warm the crowd up. Inhofe explained how Stitt is going to make Oklahoma better, saying Stitt will “make Oklahoma great again!” Once Pence and Stitt arrived to the center, the crowd erupted, chanting “USA!” as they took the stage. During the campaign, Pence compared Stitt to a “friend” of his, saying that Stitt is “cut from the mold of President Donald Trump — a businessman with no political experience” prior to running for

on campus, we need to find a way to keep some notion of a program going,” because he would have administrators call and tell him that they have students sitting outside his office that had not eaten that day. Kast agreed with Neal: “The participation has fallen off this semester quite a bit, and I’m not sure if it’s because people are already donating at the C-Store and they think that’s a donation [to the food-insecure on campus], but it’s kind of cutting into this program, is my perception.” Before the program came along, Neal gave out his business card with signatures on it to let students eat for free. This semester, he advanced several vouchers to some of these offices without a student donation, he said, “because we were hoping that this program would keep going.” “The problem… this year is that I didn’t know that last year that Carter [Bradford] was working on [Pay it Forward], so when he came to me and told me he wanted to put out a table, my worry was that we are actually taking from the food-insecure on campus and giving it to the homeless,” said Neal. Neal and Bradford worked together to keep Bradford’s Pay it Forward going at the C-Store and the meal voucher program at the cafeteria. In one week, students donated 117 meals to Pay it Forward and only a few to the food-insecure on TU’s campus. “We think it’s a good program,” said Neal about the meal voucher program. “We want to keep going with it until there is no more food insecurity on campus.”

Pence visits Mabee Center on Stitt campaign trail The vice president gave a short speech in favor of Oklahoma gubernatorial candidate Kevin Stitt. Brooke-Lyne Holland Student Writer The crowd was a sea of red as Donald Trump and Kevin Stitt supporters flowed into the Mabee Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma, this past Thursday on Oct. 18. Many came to see Vice President Mike Pence, who was visiting Tulsa to campaign for Stitt, an Oklahoma gubernatorial candidate. Stitt, a conservative Republican, hopes to make Oklahoma one of the top 10 states in terms of growth, education and infrastructure if he wins the Nov. 6 election. He has emphasized the importance of his business

office. “The same agenda that Kevin Stitt wants to bring to the state house, President Donald Trump has brought to Washington D.C.,” Pence said. He also discussed issues that are related to the GOP like religious freedom, gun owner rights and support for law enforcement and farmers. Pence believes that Stitt is perfect for the role of Oklahoma governor because he believes that he will make large, beneficial changes to the state like Trump has to the country. “I mean, truthfully, I’d be here for Kevin Stitt if he was unopposed, he’s just that good of a man,” Pence said. Stitt did not speak much during the rally, but he did mention his visit with Pence on Air Force Two before introducing the VP on the stage. Stitt concluded the rally saying, “We’re gonna win this! Oklahoma’s turnaround starts right here, right now!”

Chemistry Nobel Prize jointly awarded The Nobel Prize was awarded to a team of three and, for just the fifth time in 117 years, to a woman. Emily Every Commentary Editor The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences awarded this year’s Nobel Prize in Chemistry to Dr. Frances H. Arnold for her work in the directed evolution of enzymes. Dr. Arnold shared this year’s prize in chemistry with Dr. George P. Smith and Dr. Gregory P. Winter, splitting the $1 million prize associated with the honor by $500,000 and $250,000, respectively. In the award’s 117-year history, it is rare for a woman chemist to receive the Nobel Prize in Chemistry. The prize, just as it was this year, is often awarded to several chemists working on different projects within one year. There have been 177 recipients of the award over the past century, yet Dr. Arnold is only the fifth woman to have received it. However, this gender inequity is not unique to the Nobel Prize in Chemistry. Only three women have won the award in physics, including Marie Curie’s famed 1903 victory, and just one woman, Elinor Ostrom, has been awarded the prize in economics. At a total of 17 female recipients, the Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to the most women out of the six Nobel Prize categories. Dr. Arnold, a professor at the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena working in chemical engineering, bioengineering and biochemistry, began her work directing the evolution of enzymes in 1993. Dr. Arnold developed the bioengineering method that allows chemists to influence the evolution of enzymes (proteins that catalyse biochemical reactions) just as one can selectively breed animals to bring about certain desired traits. Her work has produced enzymes that can act as detergents, biofuels or medicines. Due to their organic production, lab-produced enzymes are prime candidates for replacing chemicals that are often used in the production of fuels or medications with devastating effects on the environment. For her work, Dr. Arnold was also awarded the National Medal of Technology and Innovation in 2013. The key to Dr. Arnold’s method is not pinpointing the exact functions of different

genes within certain specimens of subtilisin, Dr. Arnold’s preferred species of enzyme, but rather allowing directed selection and mutagenesis to do the brunt of the work. “To me it is obvious that this is the way it should be done,” says Dr. Arnold in her NobelPrize. org interview. Dr. Smith and Dr. Winter were jointly awarded the Nobel Prize “for the phage display of peptides and antibodies,” to use Smith’s own description. Smith pioneered the process known as phage display in 1985. The method uses a virus that infects bacteria, known as a bacteriophage, as a host that displays a protein on its body, allowing chemists to study what molecules can interact with the displayed protein. Since 1985, phage display has been used in the creation of new antibodies, with the first becoming commercially available in 2002 to combat rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis and inflammatory bowel diseases. In the last 16 years since its market introduction, phage display has created antibodies that can neutralize toxins, counteract autoimmune diseases and cure metastatic cancer. Despite a few protestors, Pence was met with a highly sympathetic crowd.

Hurricane Michael hits East Coast The hurricane killed dozens and severely complicated rescue efforts along the coast. Brooke-Lyne Holland Student Writer After forming in the southeastern Caribbean Sea two weeks ago and hitting landfall on Oct. 10 in Florida, Hurricane Michael has wreaked havoc on coastal cities. Many people have suffered from the storm by having their homes destroyed, their water sources disabled and their electricity cut off. Michael, the fourth most powerful storm on record to hit the U.S., started off as a small storm that eventually intensified into a Category 4 hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico. According to abcnews.com, winds attained peak speeds of 155 miles per hour after making landfall near Mexico Beach and Panama City, Florida, making it the strongest storm of the season and causing extensive power outages across the region.

As the storm moved inland, it weakened and began heading northeast, toward Chesapeake Bay, until it was demoted to a tropical storm around Georgia. According to floridatoday.com, the tropical storm soon turned into an “extratropical cyclone” when the storm traveled off the coast of the Mid-Atlantic states. It finally dissipated on Oct. 16. According to CNN, 36 deaths have been confirmed since Hurricane Michael ripped through the Florida panhandle. The current death count is from Georgia, Florida, North Carolina and Virginia; 26 of those deaths are confirmed to be from Florida alone. Countless residents are homeless after Michael ripped apart hundreds of houses along the Florida coastline. The Washington Post explains that many civilians cannot even return to where their homes should be until the area is deemed safe and secure by authorities. This is because houses that were left standing still suffered from extensive damage to roofs that could potentially collapse. The 155-mph winds caused trees and debris to fall into the roads, making it difficult for rescuers to reach certain places in Florida to help those in need. The Washington Post reports that at least “1,200 roads

photos by Brooke-Lyne Holland

were closed” due to fallen trees. Residents of Florida who suffered from the storm are still relying on airdropped food and water to survive until electricity is restored. Some people have been without power and clean drinking water since the beginning of the hurricane. According to CNN, the wind by itself left over “20,000 people without power” as the storm passed through Cuba. The Washington Post explains that because many places in Florida are without power, residents are “unable to operate their well water pumps” to access fresh water. Some places have had electricity and water restored in their homes, but the counties that were hit hardest during the peak of the storm are still in the dark. There is a strong ongoing effort to help restore basic functions in Florida. The Florida National Guard, the Federal Emergency Management Agency and the community are slowly returning the state back to normal. According to CNN, the combined efforts include helping people find disaster assistance and supplying food and water to those in need.

News

22 October 2018

The Collegian: 3

not find the individual. The reporting party was contacted who reported that the individual left campus prior to officers arrival. 8:45 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers received a report of non University affiliate sending multiple bizarre emails to the Mabee Legal Information Center.

Oct. 8 8:45 p.m. University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were dispatched to investigate possible property damage at University Square South Apartments. Officers arrived on scene and spoke with the resident which stated their patio door glass was cracked. Officers investigated and determined it was a B.B. gun pellet that cracked the patio door glass. 8:50 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers to University Square West for suspicious activity. Reporting party’s stated they heard two paintballs hit their window and seen two individuals with hoodies leaving the courtyard area very quickly. Officers searched the area but were able to locate anyone that matched the description the reporting parties gave to officers. Oct. 9 1:00 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Fisher Hall South to investigate a possible injured student. Upon arrival, officers made contact with the student who reported they accidentally fell off their bed while trying to sleep. Officers examined the student who denied Emergency Medical Services Authority. The student went back to their dorm without further incident. 3:30 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to investigate a suspicious person in Mayo Village Apartments. Upon arrival Officers were told officers they saw an individual wearing black sweat pants loitering in Mayo Village Apartments. Officers searched the area but did

1:00 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the Dennis W. Reynolds east parking lot for a report of a possible confrontation between a TU affiliate and a non TU affiliate. Officers determined no domestic confrontation occurred on campus, but domestic confrontations have occurred between the TU affiliate and non affiliate. Officers are investigating the situation. 1:00 p.m. A Tulsa Police Department detective contacted a University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers. The detective requested assistance with their investigation. Officers directed the detective to the Human Resources Department. Oct. 11 2:01 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers towed a vehicle off campus from the Mayo Village Apartments Lot. A vehicle was found parked contrary to university policy and officers verified that the vehicle had been previously tow warned. Towing of the vehicle was authorized by the on-duty supervisor and the vehicle was towed off campus without incident. Oct. 12 1:20 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Harwell Field to investigate a possible suspect lurking in the area. Officers made contact with a suspect matching the reporting party’s information. Officers questioned the suspect, who reported they were a student; however, they gave false information to officers. Upon further investigation, the suspect stated they originally gave false information to officers. The suspect admitted to being intoxicated and then gave officers their correct identification. Officers escorted the suspect to their correct residence without further incident.

Oct. 13 12:00 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to investigate a possible suspicious activity in the parking lot of the University Square Apartments West. Officers located the subject, a TU affiliate, and determined the subject was playing a game. The Tulsa Police Department (TPD) was called to the scene. No arrests were made in relation to this incident. Oct. 14 1:15 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to investigate a possible ill student in Norman Village Apartments. Upon arrival, officers met with the student who reported that they consumed marijuana and had trouble breathing. Emergency Medical Services Authority was contacted but the student declined being transported to a hospital. The student agreed to stay with another student for the rest of the night. 5:35 a.m. While on routine patrol University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were flagged down by a student who reported that there were three individuals on campus who instigated a physical altercation. The three individuals left campus prior to officer’s arrival. The student denied Emergency Medical Services Authority to be contacted and did not want to file a report with the Tulsa Police Department. 7:25 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers responded to Norman Village for an apartment lockout. As officers opened the door to the residence the resident appeared intoxicated. Officers checked the age of the resident and they were underage. Officers searched the apartment and discovered several bottles of alcohol. Officers poured the alcohol out and informed the resident that they would get a Student Misconduct for an Alcohol Violation. The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Monday, October 22 at 7:30 p.m. Lorton Performance Center TU Symphony Orchestra Concert The University of Tulsa Symphony Orchestra begins its 2018-19 concert season with this Fall performance.

Nate Gibbons Distribution Manager

Trump worries over incoming migrant caravan President Trump has made public his contempt of a caravan made up of thousands of migrants, mostly Hondurans, who have been pushing north from their home country. Last Thursday, the caravan split into multiple groups while making their way through Guatemala. Many of the migrants say they are heading for the United States, though others say they will stop in Mexico. They have been driven from their homes in search of higher wages, employment opportunities, better quality public services and security. President Trump argues that he will use military force if necessary to shut down America’s southern border. At a rally last Thursday, he repeated the claim and added that Democrats were partially to blame for the immigration influx. “[Democrats] also figure everybody coming in is going to vote Democrat, you know,” he told attendees. President Trump, however, also blamed himself, saying that illegal immigration had risen thanks to the “incredible economy” he had created.

Taliban kills Afghan police chief before elections Last Thursday, the top American commander in Afghanistan, General Austin Miller, avoided injury during an attack that killed both the provincial intelligence chief and a regional police chief. The attack, which has been claimed by the Taliban, occured within the provincial governor’s compound in Kandahar City. Though at times controversial, police chief General Abdul Raziq had been recognized as an important U.S. ally. Raziq pacified Kandahar Province and defended it as the Taliban gained territory surrounding it. The influential general had survived multiple assassination attempts. His death will likely affect U.S. access to a large network of informants. “Today, I lost a great friend, Lt. General Raziq,” General Miller tweeted. “The good he did for Afghanistan and the Afghan people cannot be undone.” The Taliban have threatened to attack polling places in this Saturday’s upcoming elections. At least 10 candidates and dozens of political supporters have been killed already, and one third of polling places will not open for security reasons.

Monday, October 23 at 7:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. Allen Chapman Student Union, Alcove Room TU College Republicans General Meeting Three Greetings College Republicans, For our third general meeting, we are excited to announce that Chief Judge Gregory Frizzell of the United States District Court of Northern Oklahoma will be speaking on the rule of law and how it plays a role in the fabric of the nation. Hope to see everyone there. Come out and bring a friend! Thank you, -TUCR Officers Thursday, October 25 at 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Gilcrease Museum Reception & Book Signing: Every Breath We Drew by Jess T. Dugan Every Breath We Drew explores the power of identity, desire and connection through self-portraiture and photographs of other people. Working within the framework of queer experience and from an actively constructed sense of masculinity, Dugan’s portraits examine the intersection between private, individual identity and the search for intimate connection with others. Dugan received her MFA in Photography from Columbia College Chicago, her Master of Liberal Arts in Museum Studies from Harvard University, and her BFA in Photography from the Massachusetts College of Art and Design. Artist Lecture (Jerri Jones Lecture Hall, Phillips Hall 211): Oct. 25, 5-6 p.m. Book signing following the lecture. Reception: Oct 25, 6-7 p.m. (Closing) Show Dates: September 27 – October 25 Thursday, October 25 through Saturday, October 27 at 8:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. Kendall Hall Man of La Mancha Musical. Written by Dale Wasserman. Music by Mitch Leigh. Lyrics by Joe Darion Thursday, October 25 at 9:30 p.m. Gilcrease Museum Junior Recital by Ariel Rodriguez, soprano The University of Tulsa School of Music invites you to attend a Junior Recital presented by soprano Ariel Rodriguez, with faculty pianist, Brady McElligott. The recital will include works by Mozart, Schubert, Strauss, Massenet, Amy Beach and Liza Lehmann among others.

Mattis tries to ease tensions with China in Singapore meeting Defense Secretary Jim Mattis spoke with China’s Defense Minister Wei Fenghe in an hour-and-a-half-long meeting last Thursday that aimed to cool recent hostilities. Mattis said that, amid escalating tensions, it is up to China’s and America’s militaries to be a force for stability. Vice President Mike Pence’s early October speech sparked worries of a possible impending cold war between Beijing and Washington. Mattis also repeated an invitation for Wei Fenghe to visit the United States. Other nations at the meeting in Singapore were reluctant to join the United States in condemning China’s control of the South China Sea. Mattis argued that smaller Asian nations may have concerns with Beijing’s actions but be too wary to challenge China’s navy. Washington argues the South China Sea is open trade waters and conducts multiple Freedom of Navigation operations to assert its position. Mattis says Chinese warships’ attempted obstructions of these operations are dangerous. “When the Chinese ships are putting bumpers over the side … you don’t do that when you’re out in the middle of the ocean, unless you’re intending to run into something.”

Friday, October 26 at 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Gilcrease Museum Gilcrease After Hours: A Very Spooky Cocktail Party Join us for a very spooky cocktail party as we welcome magicians Steve Lancaster and Chris Capstone, Sparkles the Clown and special musical guest Yungsnickers. Additionally, spooky museum tours led by OKC-based artist Paul Waddell will take place at 7:30 and 8:20 p.m. Who is the masked man in the corner? Why do the puppets keep watching me and what does the magician want? Mysteries unfold, questions arise and themed cocktails will be served. This program is not designed for children. Presenting Sponsor: Osage Casino Hotel The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar. Contact us at news@tucollegian.org with events.

The Collegian: 4

Commentary

22 October 2018

State Question 801 a step toward better public education

Increasing allotted public funding is ideal for improving education, but altering pre-established funds is a viable temporary measure. Nathan Hinkle Student Writer Education funding in Oklahoma is still a large issue for schools across the state. In April, the state government passed a new tax bill that helped increase the pay rate of teachers by 15 percent. While this bill was helpful in raising the pay rates of poorly paid teachers, some education members believed that schools still needed more funds to properly do their jobs. In response, Oklahoma state Senator Stephanie Bice proposed Senate Joint Resolution 70, which would create State Question 801. The question, which would amend the state constitution, expands the uses permitted for certain ad valorem taxes levied by a school district. Currently, the received tax revenue is placed in a building fund for schools to use. The fund would be changed to allow schools to use it for differing operations, which are those deemed necessary by each school district. Ad valorem levies are local taxes that are based entirely on the current market value of one’s property and can only be used by local governments or schools. After passing in the Senate and the House of Representatives, it will now be placed on the ballot for Nov. 6. Currently, these property taxes could only be used in education to pay for school reno-

vations. State Question 801 gives school districts flexibility in the use of their fiscal resources. This opportunity will allow districts the ability to use any available capital in an attempt to properly pay for classroom supplies or teacher support. In a statement by the Tulsa World’s editorial board about their endorsement for State Question 801, they say, “We favor local control and greater freedom with school funding, but hasten to point out that the proposal does not add a penny to the amount of money available to schools and certainly isn’t the solution to inadequate state funding of private schools.” Local school district representatives are the best people to know what is necessary for their district. Therefore, it is important that they have control over the flow of resources available to their region. Opponents of the bill, such as Oklahoma Education Association President Alicia Priest, argue that the bill is useless without further revenue increases. In a statement, she argued, “Our schools do not have enough funding, and State Question 801 doesn’t do anything to fix that. Schools already use funding associated with SQ801 to pay for capital projects and repairs.” While this statement is true, it does not look far into the future. By implementing this bill now, Oklahoma school districts will have the ability to use it in the future when funding may be better. State Question 801 gives local representatives the authority to carry out plans but does not compel them to complete such a plan. The best solution to improve State Question 801 and education in Oklahoma is to provide more resources to teachers through an increase in revenue. By providing more revenue, school districts will see more possibilities to use the powers granted by SQ801. State Question 801 is not a fix for local schools, but an opportunity for them to have greater control over their funds. Further economic support of education in Oklahoma is still a major priority that needs to be dealt with, although this is a great start.

courtesy Together Oklahoma Since the 2008 recession, Oklahoma has decreased education funding more than any other state.

Taylor Swift’s political statement tentatively welcome

Taylor Swift supporting Democrats in the upcoming election is a good thing, though artists acting politically is often distasteful. Will Gibson Student Writer Taylor Swift came out… as a Democrat. But if you’re anything like me, this does not necessarily feel like news. Considering all of her songs regarding girl power and empowerment, I just thought it was assumed that she is among the left wing. Apparently she had never officially given any type of endorsement to any party, which honestly surprised me. On Oct. 7, Swift made a post on Instagram that leaves little doubt as to where her affiliations lie. She began by explaining her reluctance to make political statements in the past and how her opinion on that has changed in the past two years. She voiced her support for LGBTQ rights, as well as her belief in fighting discrimination of any kind.

She commented that she will not continue to support Tennessee’s Senator Marsha Blackburn based on her voting record, although she tries to support women in office. After naming the Tennessee candidates she intends on supporting, she urged her followers to register to vote. Two days later the Washington Post reported that Vote.org received 169,000 new registrations after her post and that over half were among the 18 to 29 year old demographic. I am really happy for you, Taylor, and Imma let you finish in a minute, but it is obvious we need to talk about somebody else too.

forgot about his right-wing opinions. Then, the next week when “Kids See Ghosts” dropped, as well as the merchandise for “KSG” and “Ye,” I blew half my paycheck on the first edition of the “KSG” hoodie (arguably his coolest piece of merch since the “I Feel Like Pablo” hoodies). “Kids See Ghosts” was great, and it, alongside “Ye,” became the soundtrack to my summer — and at the end of summer, my hoodie was gaining me clout and starting conversations during orientation week. Some asked me what I thought of his rhetoric, and as a liberal, I think it’s appalling.

“Does the ability to pick and choose which artists I want to separate from their art make me a hypocrite?” If you have paid any attention to the news or media in general, then chances are you have seen Kanye West’s antics. It all started in April when Ye made a return to Twitter. He had been cooped up in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, working on five (or more) different records. Though not the focus of his immediate return to Twitter, there was a haze of pro-Trump “MAGA” rhetoric over some of his posts and a non-album single called “Ye vs. The People,” in which he argued his views with T.I. This just seemed like Kanye being Kanye in an attempt to remain relevant and to generate publicity before his records dropped. I was not excited by his newfound political views, but when I heard “Ghost Town” on “Ye” (a god-level song, by the way), I

But I also still believed that he was using it for attention. Then Kanye went on SNL, and I had to stop wearing my hoodie. Then Kanye went to the Oval Office. I have seen more Kanye “Jackson Hole” hoodies worn by white boys around campus in the past few weeks than before Ye’s MAGA-rant on SNL, his tweets calling for abolition of the 13th Amendment “sent with love” or his Oval Office Superman speech. In the age of streaming, buying merchandise is the most direct way to support an artist. Chance the Rapper (Kanye’s more progressively-minded prodigy) made $6 million off of his “3” hats in one year. Though the damage is done for me, and I would not be caught dead in a T-Swift Tshirt, I feel like I need to go buy a few of

Marsha Johnson, whom Taylor Swift has denounced politically, speaking at the 2016 Republican National Convention.

them. If anybody wants a clean KSG hoodie, I’m trying to flip mine on Grailed — at least until Kanye walks back his statements. I am a firm believer in separating art from the artist, so I can enjoy the music of Kanye West or even David Bowie in good conscience. But do we only practice that when it is convenient for us? With all of the #MeToo allegations coming out against plenty of bands, I would never use the “separate art from the artists” argument with a band that has done unforgivable things. Does the ability to pick and choose which artists I want to separate from their art make me a hypocrite? I love reading beat authors and poets, even though most were awful people. I suppose the question is that now Swift has gone political, why has there not been public outcry and the need to “separate the art from the artist?” Perhaps it is less visible because her views are not problematic; however, who is allowed to deem what is problematic and what is not? When I first heard that she came out as Democrat, I wondered why I should care. I was under the impression that her art spoke for itself, and that it was almost unnecessary for her to confirm what (I feel) we have known. On the other hand, I have not been a Taylor Swift fan or listener since “Red,” but I think her entry into the political realm is a good thing. Regardless of her political affiliation, the message at the end was positive: to motivate her fans to register to vote. And they did.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Commentary

22 October 2018

The Collegian: 5

UN climate report damning for US corporate culture

The UN climate change report predicts an environmental catastrophe that the U.S. won’t combat. Andrew Noland Student Writer Two weeks ago, the United Nations released a climate change report commissioned by the signers of the Paris Climate Accords. The report outlines a bleak future for the planet, predicting catastrophic changes as early as 2040. The commission originally sought to investigate the damage wrought by the global temperature increasing by a projected 3.6 degrees Fahrenheit (2 degrees Celsius) by 2050. However, scientists were forced to adjust their parameters when they realized that an increase of 2.7 degrees Fahrenheit (1.5 degrees Celsius) by the same benchmark could lead to the destruction of millions of lives and trillions of dollars in damages across the world. The report concluded that if the world did not fundamentally alter its economy and energy consumption by 2030, the planet’s decline would be irreversible. However, scientists admitted that this would be almost impossible with the world’s largest producer of carbon emissions, the United States, pulling out of the Paris climate agreement, as well as the leader of the free world’s continued skepticism on climate change. We are screwed. The planet’s infrastructure primarily operates on petroleum/coal energy consumption, aka nasty, nonrenewable fossil fuels that burn up Earth’s ozone layer. Only 20 percent of the world’s energy sources are renewable, and the UN report states that this number would need to increase by 67 percent in 11 years to prevent a series of calamities unlike anything in human history. That’s not only ludicrous, but it’s also possible that even with the world scrambling to accomplish

this, we cannot undo the destruction already unleashed by the countless tons of carbon dioxide released into the atmosphere. The rest of the world can do what it likes: establish progressive carbon taxes, nationalize energy companies and rapidly mobilize investment in renewable resources, but the United States of America remains the guilty party. With a whopping four percent of Earth’s population, the United States consumes the largest share of its energy and overwhelmingly utilizes fossil fuels as its main power source. It has refused to adopt progressive environmental policies despite decades of warning from climate scientists, because the dominant political party, the Republicans, vehemently rejects the existence of human-made climate change. I know it seems like a classic leftist college student to blame America’s problems on the Republicans. However, the current president has backed this point to an extreme. Trump ran on restoring the inescapably dying coal industry in Appalachia and inexplicably pulled out of the Paris Climate Accords only months after his inauguration. When the UN report came out, Republicans continued to question the truth of the claims made by the scientists, because these old, white lawyers and doctors suddenly earned PhDs in climate science to complement their psychological and gender studies graduate degrees. So, what can be done? I’m not going to pretend that anything of substance can be realized on a micro-level. 72 percent of our fossil fuel consumption stems from corporations, and that isn’t going away under this conservative regime. The United States is run by money; solar, wind and hydroelectric power are not profitable enough to a Republican Party

courtesy Wikipedia While the U.S. government has not made major progress toward renewable energy, fossil fuels have somewhat fallen out of vogue in popuar culture.

miracles; it will take a progressive revolution to undo decades of neoliberalism that has suffocated American democracy. We need massive investments in scientific breakthroughs that can perfect renewable efficiency and trap enor-

irrelevant. We’re talking about heavily-populated islands and thousands of miles of coastline disappearing under water, hurricanes with the potential to level entire cities, mass migrations for stable land and water and droughts

“...it will take a progressive revolution to undo decades of neoliberalism that has suffocated American democracy.” controlled by the fossil fuel lobby. Once the cornerstone of America’s rise to military and economic hegemony, oil will prove the planets undoing. What the world is asking of the American people is a series of

mous amounts of carbon. Most important, we need to institute national programs that will implement these technologies across the United States within 11 years. The stakes cannot be higher, and the financial costs are frankly

of biblical proportions within our lifetimes. While the affluent Baby Boomers responsible for this crisis will die before they feel the repercussions for their negligence, younger generations will certainly face these disasters.

Millennials need to lead this charge. While we may be unable to prevent the sheer catastrophe forecasted by our current course, any action that helps the environment might save millions of lives. The CEOs and politicians who steered us to this crisis point have committed crimes against humanity, and the next decade will reveal the best and worst of us while we clamor to prepare ourselves for this end. The question is what we decide to do about it: can America reassert its place as the world’s moral champion in time, or will its complacency condemn the world to an environmental apocalypse?

Fall break possible boon to exhausted, overworked students

TU students could benefit from the implementation of a short fall break to catch their breath during the thick of the semester. Lizzy Young Student Writer Last week as I trudged around the cold campus, burdened with heavy loads of homework, tests and papers, I thought enviously of students at other schools who are on fall break. Not having had a break from school since Labor Day and the pressure of three weeks of midterms was starting to get to me. To make matters worse, pictures of my friends vacationing or sleeping were all over my Instagram feed.

It’s not just a want, it’s a need. At this point in the semester, I am extremely sleepdeprived and basically running on loads of coffee and the pressure of getting good grades. I have to ask myself, why don’t we get a fall break like other schools? It’s nice we get a full week for Thanksgiving so that students can go home and be with their family for the holiday. While that is nice, how is it fair that our mid-semester break is nonexistent, while other universities get two breaks during the fall semester? I personally would rather have a fall break and not have the full week for Thanksgiving. I must admit that I am from Tulsa, so I do not have to travel to be with my family. For people from other places, I am sure it would be very lonely to be stuck in Tulsa and not be able to go home to family if we had a shorter Thanksgiving break. I just know that by Thanksgiving, I will be exhausted and need the whole week to recover from the busyness of the semester. It comes down to self-care. There is a lot of pressure on students to succeed. We are supposed to perform at a high level in our classes, be involved in lots of extracurricular activities and have a fulfilling social life. All those things take up a lot of time. It’s no wonder that by mid-semester, we’re all

“It comes down to self-care. There is a lot of pressure on students to succeed.” I can’t be the only one feeling this way, because all week, I have seen students walking with their heads down across campus and large portions of classes absent. Everyone else expects us to get a fall break too. A great many people off campus have asked me what am I doing during my time off, which only makes me feel more annoyed when I tell them I don’t have any. All I want is a break.

dying! Taking a mid-semester break would help our batteries recharge and give us some rest after midterms and before we have to start working on final papers and projects. I may feel different come Thanksgiving and be giving thanks for a week-long break, but right now all I want to do is curl up in a ball and go to sleep. Is that really too much to ask?

@TUCollegian

tucollegian@tucollegian.org editor-in-chief

Justin Guglielmetti managing editor

Raven Fawcett news editor

Ethan Veenker sports editor

Brennen Gray variety editor

Emma Palmer commentary editor

Emily Every satire editor

Madison Connell photo & graphics editor

Conner Maggio

business & advertising manager

Brian Kwiecinski

social media & web manager

Sara Serrano

distribution managers

Nate Gibbons Jesica Santino and Katelyn Baker copy editor

Bryant Loney

The Collegian is the student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters, except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law. Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, (918)631-2616. Requests for accomodation of disabilities may be addressed to the university’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Rigsby, (918)631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpeter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accomodations. Advertising Policy: Advertising appearing in this publication does not imply approval or endorsement by the University of Tulsa or the Collegian for the products or services advertised. For advertising information, email the Collegian at advertising@tucollegian.org. The deadline for advertising is noon on the Friday proir to publication. Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words and can be sent to tucollegian@tucollegian.org. Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Friday prior to publication. Editing Policy: The Collegian reserves the right to edit all copy submitted by all writers. This editing may take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content. Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opions of the Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers.

The Collegian: 6

Sports

22 October 2018

Hurricane dissipates in Arkansas TU sports journalist Tristan Peterson covers the Golden Hurricane football team’s shutout loss in Fayetteville against the Razorbacks.

This week in TU football, the Golden Hurricane faced the University of Arkansas Razorbacks in non-conference play. The first quarter proved frustrating for TU, their first two drives ending in missed field goals by kicker Nathan Walker. Arkansas took the lead — one they would never relinquish — on a 33-yard field goal with four minutes left in the frame. Neither team scored again until freshman Arkansas quarterback Connor Noland found tight end Grayson Gunter in the end zone near the end of the first half In Noland’s first game as a starter, he threw for 124 yards, with Arkansas doing most of their damage on the ground. The game ended Arkansas 23 - Tulsa 0, earning the Razorbacks their first shutout since 2014.

Though Arkansas managed to keep Tulsa off the scoreboard, they couldn’t keep the Hurricane players from racking up stats. On offense, sophomore wide receiver Keylon Stokes recorded 74 yards on three catches, a new career-high. Zaven Collins had a career night as well, leading TU’s defense with 14 tackles. Not far behind, senior safety McKinley Whitfield added a seasonbest 11 tackles to go along with three pass break-ups and an interception. Tulsa needs to connect on offense, starting with the quarterback, Seth Boomer. Out of his 25 attempts against the Razorbacks, he completed just eight (including one interception). As of Oct. 20, the Tulsa Golden Hurricane were averaging 165.7 passing yards per game. That is 7.4 yards worse than last year, which was itself Tulsa’s worst

passing season since 1995. Rushing effectiveness is down even further, from 247.3 rushing yards per game to 198.1. Coach Phillip Montgomery didn’t have much specific to say after the game, stating bluntly

“Our quarterbacks and receivers have to do better in the passing game.” The Tulsa Golden Hurricane will return to American Athletic Conference play when they host Tulane on Saturday, Oct. 27.

courtesy Don Tomkalski

New rules, winners in figure skating

Skating expert Hannah Robbins delivers a summary of Skate America’s figure skating competition and how the rule changes have affected the results. This weekend’s Skate America opened the Grand Prix of Figure Skating Series for senior skaters in Everett, Washington. The Grand Prix Series has skaters compete in two of the six Grand Prix events with their placing in those events determining if they qualify as one of the top six skaters in their discipline, which means a trip to the Grand Prix Finals. Earning third place or lower in their first competition might not count a skater out of the running, but placing high is essential to earning a spot in the Grand Prix Final in December. As the first major competition of the season, this was a chance to see how skaters have revamped their programs to adapt to the rule changes the International Skating Union made after the 2018 Winter Olympics. The first rule change allows only the last two jumping passes in the second half of the program to receive a 10 percent bonus, making those jumps worth 110 percent of the base value. This is a change from the previous rule, where all jumps after the halfway point receive this bonus, which is referred to as backloading. If you watched the 2018 Winter Olympics you might remember Alina Zagitova backloading all seven of her jumps in the free program, allowing her to edge out Evgenia Medvedeva for the gold medal.

The other rule change that affected skaters here states that only one quadruple jump is allowed to be repeated in a program, down from two last season. This will mostly affect skaters like Nathan Chen, who was able to complete six quadruple jumps, repeating two quadruple flips and two quadruple toe loop jumps in his free program last season in his World Championships win. The headliner for the men’s competition was Chen, who is juggling being a freshman at Yale with competing internationally. His only competition was fellow American and Olympic teammate Vincent Zhou and Sergei Voronov, the Russian who placed third at Skate America last year. After a short program full of under-rotated jumps by Zhou (which leads to a reduced base value for those jumps) left him in fifth place and struggles on jumps by Voronov left him in fourth place, the top spots were wide open. This gave Michal Brezina from Czechoslovakia the opportunity to surge to second place even with an invalidated jump. When Chen put a clean program on the ice, even though it was less difficult than past programs, he placed first. Despite Zhou, Voronov and Brezina’s best efforts, not much changed in the free program. Zhou put the third-best free program on the ice (despite continuing to be

plagued by under-rotations), but couldn’t overcome his short program score, finishing fourth. Brezina put a clean program on the ice to end a surprise second, and Voronov’s fourth place free program landed him in third. After another solid performance from Chen in the free, he solidified his spot in first place, winning by the largest margin in Skate America history, 41.06 points. The pairs competition was full of few surprises with the silver medalists in the World Championships. Evgenia Tarasova and Vladimir Morozov from Russia finishing first by 25.87 points. The only surprise was the struggles of Olympic bronze medalists in the team competition, Alexa Scimeca Knierim and Chris Knierim who after a fall in the short program ended up in fifth behind fellow Americans Ashley Cain and Timothy Leduc. Continued struggles by the Knierims and a clean free program by Cain/Leduc led to the Knierims finishing fourth to Cain/ Leduc’s third with Russians Alisa Efimova and Alexander Korovin finishing second. Due to the schedule of the ladies’ free program and ice dance’s free dance, only the ladies short program and ice dance rhythm dance were completed by the time of writing. Last year’s Skate America was the moment Bradie Tennell, the 20-year-old from

Illinois, first came onto the international scene. Her third-place finish after Japanese skaters Satoko Miyahara and Kaori Satamoto, while Karen Chen finished eighth and Ashley Wagner withdrew, was the first hint to her place as the top U.S. qualifier for the 2018 Winter Olympics, but that was not the case on Saturday. Tennell placed fifth, 12 points off the leader Miyahara after a disastrous first jumping pass where she ended with 2.95 points. This is significantly lower than the 12.57 she earned earlier this season at the Autumn Classic on the same jump combination. Combine this with poor performances by the fellow Americans Megan Wessenberg and Starr Andrews in their Grand Prix debut, and the Americans look to be in trouble if they want to continue to be competitive on the international stage. Miyahara and Sakamoto placed first and second respectively in the short program, and they look to be on the cusp of reprising their placing from last year’s Skate America. In ice dance, Americans Madison Hubbell and Zachary Donohue seem to be on the brink of winning the ice dance competition in a field without competitors that have placed highly in international competition.

22 October 2018

Sports

The Collegian: 7

Trouble in Pittsburgh NFL expert Lindsey Prather details the rocky relationship between Le’Veon Bell and the Steelers. Throughout the chaotic early weeks of the NFL season, there is one particular situation that I feel comfortable to predict. The Pittsburgh Steelers are going to get rid of Le’Veon Bell, through a trade or otherwise. It’s no secret that the Steelers have been in slap-fights with Bell throughout most of his career at Pittsburgh. He has been held under his market value with two separate franchise tags. The two sides have feuded both publicly and privately for so long that it’s difficult to remember how exactly all of this started. However, coming off of his only backto-back 1,000-yard seasons, Bell has sat out and been more disadvantaged than helped by missing a crucial chance to prove his

Le’Veon Bell has not played a single snap in the 2018 season, following a repeated use of the franchise tag to lock him in for another season with the Steelers. This holdout that has continued this long into the season is rare in the modern era. However, will holdouts like this become more common? The most common reason that has been given for Bell’s holdout is the lack of guarantees for skill-position players regarding both salary and job security. Perhaps the most glaring example of these issues is illustrated with Earl Thomas’ current situation. Earl Thomas was the starting safety for the Seattle Seahawks. Throughout the offseason, there was rampant speculation sur-

“It’s no secret that the Steelers have been in slap-fights with Bell...”

courtesy Sports Illustrated

consistency. What are the potential rewards for this holdout? When this all began, the Steelers were coming off of a disappointing loss to the Denver Broncos in the playoffs, leading up to Super Bowl 50. In the run-up to the 2017 season, the Steelers decided to place the franchise tag on Bell, a designation that locked him in as a Steeler for the year. The Steelers front office did this with the hopes of buying more time to organize and sign other crucial contracts. The general goodwill of Bell’s relationship with the Steelers began to waver following the 2017 Draft. In the third round, the Steelers made a move to increase their leverage. They selected a promising young running back from the University of Pittsburgh named James Conner. The Steelers did not meet the deadline to negotiate a deal with Bell under the franchise tag. Following a brief holdout from training camp before the 2017 season, Bell reluctantly signed a deal under the tag for $12 million, with no-long term provisions or guarantee. This set the stage for a repeat of these same issues in 2018, only this time with a more permanent holdout.

rounding Thomas potentially being traded to get value for the Seahawks and security in a new contract with a new team. Thomas was an aging safety, and although he was an excellent player, the prospect of a trade was appealing in the final year of his contract. Rumors ran wild, and Thomas nearly sat out from the early part of the season with the Seahawks due to the choking uncertainty. Nonetheless, Thomas played for the Seahawks as planned with no new deal or negotiation. In Week 4 against the Arizona Cardinals, Thomas suffered a season-ending injury, breaking his left leg. I am reasonably confident that Bell will not finish his career as a Steeler. He’s an excellent RB with a desire to be paid well for his skills. His NFL career isn’t over. However, the NFL Players Association has indicated that a primary subject of the 2020 contract renewal will cover the same issues that Bell’s holdout seeks to address. There is going to be a reckoning regarding the ability of players to seek out security. The only question that remains is whether it will be achieved through individual holdouts or collective action on behalf of the players.

Western League of Legends teams gaining ground Esports expert Andrew Noland discusses the disappointing performance of the dominant Eastern teams as Korea underperforms in the World Championships. The world turned upside down this past weekend in the billion-dollar esports industry of “League of Legends.” Nearly all of the Eastern titans were felled at the hands of the West in the quarterfinals of the World Championships, and both Europe and North America, for the first time in seven years, live on as semifinalists in the world championship. The miracle started when KT Rolster, the Korean #1 seed and pre-tournament favorite, found themselves knocked out by upstart Chinese team Invictus Gaming in five games. Veterans Smeb and Mata could only stare at one another as the “Defeat” banner flared across their screens and they walked off the stage, resigned to another year of high expectations followed by devastating underperformance. But it turned out that, as dawn broke on Saturday morning, a greater upset was yet to come. G2 Esports, the European #3 seed, a team that was knocked out of the European Playoffs in the first round and only barely made it through the Play-In and Group Stages, wrested the seemingly inevitable “Golden Road” from the other pre-tournament favorite Royal Never Give Up. Off the back of midlander Perkz’s immaculate Aatrox and Leblanc performances in Games 4 and 5 respectively, G2 tore legendary ADC Uzi’s destiny from him and robbed us of a rematch of the Chinese Summer Finals. The West suddenly possessed a glimmer of hope. If Europe’s theoretically worst team could take down the highly-regarded best team RNG, then North America’s third seed Cloud9 had a shot to beat Korea’s last team, the Afreeca Freecs. In dominating fashion, C9 did exactly that a with a clean 3-0 sweep behind mid laner Jensen’s outstanding Game 1 performance and top laner Licorice’s punch to steal the baron in Game 3. Korea suffered its worst finish in history. The only way to complete the perfect Western quarterfinal was for Fnatic to uphold its #1 seed and take down Chinese #3 seed Edward Gaming and cement the first Western finalist since Season 1. After a devastating loss in Game 1, Fnatic bounced back to win the next three games and therefore the match despite superstar mid-laner Caps’ terrible performances.

courtesy esport.canal.fr Rookie top laner Bwipo stepped up in Game 4 to take the West home and will face Cloud9 in the greatest Western clash of all time. For “League of Legends” fans, the question on all our minds is what happened to the best region in the world? Korea simply collapsed in this World Championship. One can argue that it was from the weight of expectations in front of the home crowd, but, as Korean LoL expert PapaSmithy showed, more factors played into the region’s downfall. Korea fell behind the meta and the teams underestimated their Western opponents. As the Western teams prioritized early ag-

gression and reckless teamfighting, Korea’s standard vision-suffocation strategy failed them. Europe and North America’s best, for the first time, played their own styles and succeeded: G2 prioritized their solo lanes, C9 empowered their junglers’ aggression and Fnatic relied on their skirmishing to one-two punch EDG out of each play. In short, the gap has officially closed. China’s Invictus Gaming stands as the sole hope for retaining the East’s dominance. What does this mean for the average North American player? It might mean everything. NA teams will begin to invest in rookie tal-

ent and solo queue trolls cannot claim that we will lose to our Korean overlords anyway. Last, it gives hope to every Western team to play to their strengths and play their game. To flame Team SoloMid and Team Liquid one last time, playing like a worse Korean team has failed every time. If Western teams build upon the formula of developing their own meta, this tournament’s miracles might turn into the norm.

Sports

The Collegian: 8

22 October 2018

Nation’s League a waste

With Brennen Gray as

Soccer expert Chris Lierly breaks down Klopp’s view on the controversial Nation’s League.

graphic by Conner Maggio Summer 2018 saw France stand victorious with the World Cup trophy after beating Croatia in the final game. But the French were not the only team proud of their performance in Russia. South Korea and Mexico beat Germany, England reached the semi-finals for the third time and Luka Modric may have cemented a Ballon D’or win with his inspiring performance for Croatia. However, the aftermath of the world’s biggest competition has not been all positive, especially for Premier League teams. Teams like Manchester United, Liverpool, Manchester City and Tottenham not only play in the hardest national league, but

ketball and football have summer, baseball has winter, but soccer does not have an offseason. Not only do club teams play from August to May, but international teams use up the two months between club seasons in the summer. Additionally, there are multiple international breaks throughout the club season. Those international breaks force managers to let the national teams take their players which will only further exhaust them. Second, Klopp complained about injuries that resulted from the strenuous schedule. Not only does that kind of schedule make footballers less effective on the pitch, but

“Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp lost the small amount of restraint he had to begin with...” they also play in the Champions League against teams from all across Europe. Teams that play a much less grueling schedule. I am not bashing Juventus and Paris Saint-Germain (PSG) for playing teams like Chievo and Guingamp, but the level of competition in Ligue Un and Serie A simply does not compare to the competition in the Premier League. The best example of this is Liverpool. Liverpool played Tottenham, PSG, Chelsea, Chelsea (yes, twice), Napoli and Manchester City over the course of three weeks. They made it out of that stretch only losing one match, but the entire squad was exhausted. Right after that incredible gauntlet, the UEFA Nations League, a national team competition that wrapped up play this week, featured the major national teams of Europe, and that is where Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp lost the small amount of restraint he had to begin with. Klopp called the competition “senseless” in an interview and went on an extended rant about the scheduling of the competition. Klopp has a point for three main reasons. First, soccer has a year-long season. Bas-

it can remove them from playing entirely. Klopp’s Liverpool squad is a great example. Mohamed Salah, Virgil van Dijk, Sadio Mane and Naby Keita all sustained minor injuries while on international duty. None of these players look like they will last longer than a few weeks, but the moment that a key player on a major club at this brand new competition is injured managers will protest the Nations League. Third, Klopp sums up the Nations League when he labels it senseless. Yes, his more thorough points are interesting, but the Nations League’s existence at all raises one big question. Why now? The World Cup just ended, clubs have just got into the swing of things and the European Championship is in 2020. Instead of holding the Nations League in 2019 as a qualifier for the Euros, the Union of European Football Associations has tried to jam it into an already packed season. This might work this season, but when a team like Bayern Munich or Real Madrid pay the price for UEFA’s mistake instead of Liverpool, changes will soon follow.

The Feature Creature! It’s the goddamn Fall classic I’d like for there to have been a more indepth preview of the World Series, but life comes at you fast. So here we are, bleaching the creatch and paying only lip service to the apex of the baseball season. I suppose this is sort of symbolic of the sports media’s treatment of America’s Pastime (I know that’s a bullshit nickname at this point, but I’m going to keep calling it that until the CIA barges into Oliphant 110 and makes me stop). The matchup should be a dream one for MLB, featuring two of the game’s most storied franchises, the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Boston Red Sox, in their first-ever championship bout. Featured in the action will be some of baseball’s biggest stars and most exciting players, names like Betts, Kershaw, Sale, Bellinger and Martinez. But what do ESPN and FS1 choose to focus their time on? Well, LeBron blew his nose in the season opener, so you know that merited several hours of discussion. Honestly I’m tired with complaining about a lack of coverage, especially because I don’t particularly want to watch talking heads who don’t follow the sport blabbering on about it with a bunch of hot takes that they’ve removed from the interior of their rectal passage. It’s just that more airtime on the major national stations could do wonders for reversing the whole “baseball is dying” trend. Anyway, it’s shaping up to be an incredible series, a battle between the coasts and the collective soul of baseball fandom. You can either root for capitalism incarnate or Satan’s favorite team. Personally, I’m choosing LA over Beantown in seven because I’d rather worship money than the Dark Lord. Also, I was a Dodger in Little League. Not Enough Sportball So here is the thing. On Thursday, Oct. 13, you could turn on your TV and watch games from the NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB, NCAA and MLS. October is a wonderful time of year. Nevertheless, we need more. Where are cross-country skiing, track and field, curling, bobsledding, diving, swimming and the rest? I want all sports all the time. Every event and every athlete around the world can meet up for more sports than you could ever watch in your entire life. We will call it the “Allympics.” Americans can pretend to be patriotic for a full two weeks at a time while pretending to be inspired by athletes they’ve never heard

of in sports they’ve never seen. And all citizens of countries not hosting the games can pretend to be immersed in the culture of the host country to appear more globalized and sophisticated. Plus, hosting the games would be a huge PR campaign for that country. The only problem is the possibility of the Russians doping during these events. But that is just speculation. Nick Saban This man makes $8.3 million. That is 75.8 million curly fries. That is 207,500 Nintendo 64 consoles. That is six Bugatti’s per year. Per year. How could anyone possibly spend that much money on anything. That is over 20 times as much as the president of the United States. Alabama is compensating him for the work of 215 teachers do in a year. I mean if his work is that many times for valuable, sure. Why not. But the man works for a school. An institution meant to teach kids skills for a workforce and to further the understanding of the human condition and our world. If he were working for a professional sports organization, fine. But the man manages the sporting events of kids in their teens and 20s. Furthermore where is that money coming from? What if Alabama cut a measly $4.3 million off that guy’s salary. Think about it. A man would make $4 million off of coaching kids through twenty or so non-professional sporting games, and maybe a few more Alabama students can afford an education. Leave my beloved little bro alone! I’m sure you all saw that little spat between Rajon Rondo and Chris Paul. LeBron may be getting some flak for grabbing and holding Paul afterwards. He even strokes his back to comfort him and cool him down during the spat. Should he have more team loyalty? Of course not. These guys are employees in a large organization just like most adults. There is no secret to LeBron and Paul’s close relationship off court. If one of your best friends got into a fist fight with one of your coworkers, would you grab your friend or your coworker? LeBron has every right to be more concerned with a close friend of his than a guy he starting working with a few months ago. Besides, the important thing is that the fight was broken up anyway, regardless of who grabbed whom.

courtesy BroBible

15

Oct. 22 - Oct. 28

Monday

Tuesday 23

22

W Golf vs. Las Vegas Collegiate Showdown

Wednesday 24

W Golf vs. Las Vegas Collegiate Showdown

M Soccer vs. ORU 7 p.m.

No Events

Thursday 25

Cross Country at AACU @ New Orleans

Saturday

Friday

27

26

Volleyball vs. Temple 7 p.m. W Soccer @ Memphis 7 p.m.

Sunday

Football vs. Tulane 6 p.m.

28

No Events

22 October 2018

Variety

The Collegian: 9

Haunted attractions to visit near Tulsa

Anna Johns rounds up the spookiest haunts to get your scare on. Anna Johns Student Writer

Hex House and Westside Grim Declared one of America’s best haunted attractions by Hauntworld Magazine, the Hex House features two attractions: its namesake and Westside Grim. Both are billed as “not your average haunted house.” Instead, the customers are touched by the actors, and the barriers between reality and horror are blurred as it becomes more interactive. Hex House markets itself as being inspired by a true story in Tulsa’s past. The story goes that two women were forced to live in an unheated basement and give their paychecks to the woman they served. The victims were presumably under hypnotic or occult control for seven years and were promised great rewards in Heaven. The Hex House was an infamous site that young people visited for years — now its story lives on in the form of a walk-through haunted house. The remaining dates to visit the attractions are from Oct. 22–28 and Oct. 31–Nov. 3. Doors open at 7 p.m. and close at 11 p.m. Passes to enter both houses are $25 and fast passes are $30. Psycho Path Spanning 40 acres, the Psycho Path is a Halloween attraction featuring two distinct experiences: Dark Ride and Shadow Box. Dark Ride is operated like a theme park ride. Guests ride from scene to scene with the scares of a traditional haunted house jumping out at you along the way. Those who participate in the Dark Ride will board the Scareage, a custom vehicle designed for

Psycho Path. The journey is 20 minutes and features custom props, buildings and jump scares. The Shadow Box The Shadow Box is an indoor haunted house. The experience plays with a more psychological element. The guest is given the backstory of being trapped in a home and unable to sleep for days, and as they maneuver, they hallucinate horrific images and sounds. The ticket booth is open from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. Gates open at 6 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays and 10 p.m. on Thursdays. It is open until Oct. 27. Dark Ride is $20, Shadow Box is $15, and a combination pass is $30. The Nightmare The Nightmare differs from other Tulsa attractions in that it is tied to a religious organization, GUTS Church. It is a walkthrough of modern-day struggles within a world in which Jesus did not die on the cross. The attraction features many real-life scenarios that are topical and ends with members of the church offering to pray for its customers. The attraction runs every Friday and Saturday in October with doors opening at 7 p.m. There is no set closing time, and general admission is $15. Oklahoma Asylum Oklahoma Asylum is an immersive experience in Nowata. It has won the Oklahoma People’s Choice Award in both 2017 and 2016 and was ranked the top haunted house by Oklahoma Haunted House Reviews and Tulsa Haunt Review from 2014 to 2017. The Asylum is one of the more interactive haunted houses, where the guest will experience a high-security mental research facility that is actually a guise for cruel experiments performed on sane individuals. The guest will perform surgery, hiding and crawling

Some attractions draw off of historical events that happened in Tulsa..

from the monsters and sometimes getting bloody. Ticket window hours are from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. Friday and Saturday and 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. Sunday. It runs until Oct. 28. The Chicken Pass, which features no blood, is $16.35. The Blood Pass is $21.90. For a fast pass with optional blood, it is $38.15. The Castle Halloween Festival Located in Muskogee, The Castle Halloween Festival features 11 attractions, such as a trail of blood and a haunted hayride. A skull rating system is used to rank the attrac-

graphic by Conner Maggio

tions based on level of scares. At the highest ranking of five skulls, Domus Horrificus is an inside haunt where the creatures focus on hunting their guests. The Torture Chamber, ranked at one skull, is a museum displaying means of justice from the past. The Ultimate Maze is three skulls and located outside, using darkness and confusion as a challenge for guests to escape. The Castle Halloween Festival is open Fridays and Saturdays until Oct. 27. Gates open at 5:30 p.m. and ticket sales end at 10 p.m. Prices range from $3 to $15, depending on the attraction.

Fanfiction: innovative but irresponsible

Anything is possible in the world of fan media, which is ultimately a blessing and a curse. Raven Fawcett Managing Editor

At some time or another, everyone has looked at a piece of media they like and not seen someone they could relate to in core ways. Or even media that they don’t like, but their friends do. Like, what, I’m supposed to watch Sherlock or James Bond or whatever the male power fantasy of the week is and relate to these straight white men who can’t keep up healthy relationships with women? No, thank you. I wouldn’t even if I could. And what about media I do like? What about the things I love that I want to spend more time with, or think about more? What about the plot lines that the creators forgot about or dropped because of contracts? What about the ending to “How I Met Your Mother”? You wouldn’t fix that if you could? That’s where fanfiction — and fan media in general — comes in. If you could change something with a decent premise into something that you actually like, wouldn’t you? If you had the option of making a sandwich with grape jelly (gross) or raspberry (excellent!), wouldn’t you go with the raspberry? Fan-created content is a way for people to make a space for themselves. People of color, LGBT+ people, women and other minorities, lack the kind of representation and story lines that straight white men get in mainstream media. Which is, I’m sure, why so much fan content is created by these marginalized groups (though, notably, the majority of fanfic readers and writers are white). That content is more diverse than just its characters. Fanfiction can make the kinds of decisions that traditional storytelling hasn’t,

out fan content, we’d miss out on the community that comes with it. People from all over the world tell each other stories about this thing that they love! They create relationships that last beyond their enjoyment of whatever it is. Stories weren’t meant to exist in a vacuum, either. They don’t pop out of the creator’s head like Athena popped out of Zeus’s. Stories are never the fruit of just one person’s labor — they’re edited and revised by others, and they’re bounced off of friends and editors and family to see if they’re working before they ever reach their final incarnation. So why do we assume that any stage of the story is its final form? Where do we draw the line on “not done” and “done”? Is it the author? And if so, why? Why does the author get to say what is and isn’t complete in, for example, books, whereas in TV shows, the writers have very little to do with when a story is actually done? Spoiler: there is no end. A new translation of “The Odyssey” just came out last year that’s different than any other translation available! No one said Emily Wilson, the translator, had any right to do so, but she had the right to reimagine the work anyway. Sure, translation is more devoted to the original material than fanfiction, but it still requires a reimagining of the text, what it meant at the time and how that works into a new language; it’s just another kind of fresh perspective on old canon. Most important, fanfiction gives people a way to express themselves within a preexisting structure. Writing a whole book or script is difficult. It takes time, revisions, encouragement and a sense of imagination that isn’t stifled when considering things like continuity or worldbuilding. Those are resources that not everyone has or wants to pursue. But creating a derivative work gives

“It’s a way for people to reclaim their own stories by writing themselves... into mainstream media.” or can’t, embrace. It can help establish new worlds, examine gender roles and educate and mock in equal measure. Sure, we could all live without the parts of fan content that make actors uncomfortable (looking at you, roleplay fiction about real people) or the unsavory parts (looking at you, literally anything to do with incest). To be fair, fanfiction also tends to be diligent about warning about these issues. There are entire tagging systems that rate the maturity levels of the work, the genre and the content itself — whether something involves sexual content, for example, if it’s in an alternate universe or if it involves chefs, or BDSM or anything else under the sun. The tagging etiquette varies by time and website, but it’s been a staple of fanfiction for decades now. Content creators make sure to warn people about their content, keeping their work community-oriented. And at heart, most fan content is a feature, not a bug of modern storytelling. With-

people a chance to flex their imagination and creative writing skills. Instead of creating entire relationships and worlds, fanfic writers can write their favorite aspects of the media, or play up their own strengths. Not everyone is great at action sequences, but they can write about the emotional impact that the original writers didn’t seem to consider. They can use the world that someone else created to make stories of hope and empowerment. For instance: take “Supernatural.” Most of the women are killed off in gruesome ways, while the (straight, white, generally boring and forgettable) men live long after the third or fifteenth time they’ve been killed off. But with fanfiction, women can write powerful women, or even just replace the main characters with men who aren’t, y’know, misogynists who use women almost exclusively for sex and manpain. Fanfiction is subversive. It’s punk rock! It’s a way for people to reclaim their own

stories by writing themselves and their stories into mainstream media. It says, “We’re here, and we’ve always been here, and we’ll be here even if the world would rather not show us to other people.” That’s not to say that fanfiction is always, or even mostly, a good thing. Like any social medium, it’s got it’s pitfalls — and like anything on the internet, those pitfalls are deep, dark and full of badly-written porn. Remember how, in elementary school, the teacher would leave the class for two minutes and say something like, “Do whatever you want except use your markers on the wall. Literally anything else, just not that.” And, inevitably, a kid or two would instantly think, “Gee, it’s been a while since I used this marker on the wall! Gotta go do that!” The teacher would come back and, even though she knew who did it, the whole class got in trouble. Fanfiction is a lot like that, except there’s no teacher to come in and make everyone skip half of their recess in penance. And when you tell someone they’re doing something wrong, they often don’t want to accept personal responsibility for the content they’ve created. There’s something to be said for creating guilt-free content. There are safe searches and tags so people know if the content they’re about to click on is something they’re interested in, and no one is forcing anyone to even go onto these fanfiction websites. That’s all fair and true, but no one is forcing people to watch hours and hours of content on TV either, and it still impacts our culture. Why should consuming fan content be any different? Fic writers are producing content that other people will consume, and so they’ll necessarily be influencing the way other people think. So of course they have a responsibility to create content responsibly! And, too often, that responsibility is dropped. For example: fanfiction is dominated by female writers. While it’s difficult to quantify (online accounts don’t always require gender reporting, for one thing, and most surveys don’t look at multiple websites’ statistics), it’s usually more than 75 percent female-written.

graphic by Conner Maggio

Combine that with the knowledge that most works (at least on websites like Archive of Our Own that make their statistics readily available) center on male/male relationships, and you often get, at best, wellmeaning writing that oversimplifies and mischaracterizes male/male relationships and, at worst, is grossly fetishizing. If we can all agree that lesbian porn for men is not okay, then we should also think critically about gay porn for women. While some men do write fanfiction, they’re in the minority, and you’re more likely to find works created by women. And it’s not just the relationships that get fetishized — real people often do too. Some authors write about the actors or people they admire (cool, fine) in relationships with other, real people they admire (problematic). Real people aren’t dolls you can dress up in new scenery and with new love lives! Of course, most people understand the line between real and imaginary, and they can distinguished between characters and their actors. But if we want to legitimize fanfiction and compliment it for the innovative medium that it is (and I certainly do!) then we also need to address the ways that fanfiction should be scrutinized and held accountable. Fan content is driven by communities, and those communities should hold one another to a better standard than letting bad behavior slide with a shrug. It should be a place to work together, to tell interesting and exciting and eclectic stories, not to create something that leaves a bad taste in your mouth and your morals at the door.

The Collegian: 10

Variety

22 October 2018

The ethics of separating art from artist Fans’ continued support of dubious artists can lead to the normalization of abuse. Piper Prolago Student Writer

In a social climate where personal lives of celebrities are inevitably publicized, the question of whether artists should be separated from their art is more relevant than ever. As more and more artists are accused and convicted of crimes, especially sexual misconduct, the need to answer it grows more urgent. Over the last few years, there have been an overwhelming number of allegations brought against artists. Victims have come forward with stories of abuse by celebrities like actor Bill Cosby and producer Harvey Weinstein. Some of the most notable of these have been reported against rappers like R. Kelly, Xxxtentacion and 6ix9ine. Cases like these force consumers to consider the ethics of continuing to support the art of these creators. The accusations against Cosby and Weinstein demonstrate a recurring problem in the

tresses Rose McGowan and Ashley Judd, nearly 100 women have also accused Weinstein. These women outlined a history of Weinstein’s harassment, manipulation and assault through his abuse of power in the film industry. The sentencing of 6ix9ine, aka Daniel Hernandez, is another horrifying case of sexual misconduct by a star in entertainment. In 2015, the rapper was found guilty in a sexual assault case. During a video recording, Hernandez, who was 18 at the time, and another man were shown engaging in sexual activities with a 13-year-old girl. Because Hernandez pled guilty, he was not put on the sex offenders list. Other artists like Nicki Minaj have continued to collaborate with 6ix9ine in spite of his morally disturbing actions and crimes. Many have argued that, in light of these accusations, it is the responsibility of the audience to boycott the creations of these people. In many ways, this is a difficult principle to practically apply. Finding a place to draw this line in spite of questionable cases over several years is next to impossible. However, this is an important distinction to

“When questionable actions are ignored, abusers continue to retain influence.” film industry. As over 60 women came forward with cases against Cosby, awareness of this issue has come to light with unprecedented strength and support. Similarly, the #MeToo movement inspired women across the country to band together by sharing their experiences with movie mogul Weinstein. Starting with ac-

make, or at least try to make. If consumers deny the responsibility to hold artists accountable, abusers inevitably continue to hold disproportionate power. Beyond this, normalizing manipulative behavior makes it harder for victims to come forward, perpetuating the cycle of abuse in the entertainment industry.

Kanye West has been criticized for his support of Donald Trump.

R. Kelly’s history of abuse especially demonstrates potential consequences of normalizing these cases. Last year, a story of R. Kelly’s cult-like lifestyle came to light. Over several years, the rapper had been sexually and psychologically abusing young female artists with the promise that he could make them famous singers. Although R. Kelly had been accused and settled in a case of statutory rape of the singer Aaliyah in 1998, he maintained popularity and a loyal following as an artist. With this continued support and widespread influence, he was able to manipulate young girls for over a decade after information about his sexual predation came to light. By idealizing art as something beyond reality, thousands of women continue to fall victim to this cycle of abuse. When questionable actions are ignored, abusers continue to retain influence. Supporting these artists by buying their music or watching their films not only literally profits them,

courtesy Denver Post

but also allows them to retain power in the media and entertainment industry. If artists are acquitted of their crimes under the pretense of separating art from reality, their crimes seem to become more acceptable. In a culture that is able to blatantly ignore these cases, even credible accusations against political figures meant to embody the American justice system, like Brett Kavanaugh, are normalized and discounted. The question of separating artists from their art still falls on consumers in less drastic cases like Kanye West’s support of Donald Trump. Continued support of Kanye increases his influence and normalizes the ideas he disseminates. Regardless of the level of controversy, the audience still has the responsibility to hold artists accountable for their actions. It is the duty of every individual to decide for themselves whether enjoying art, in any form, is worth the potential consequences.

photo by Emma Palmer

TU Theatre’s “Man of La Mancha” a smash hit The show dazzles with emotional highs, a tight cast and great production value. Emma Palmer Variety Editor The TU Theatre Department has knocked it out of the park with their performance of Dale Wasserman’s “Man of La Mancha.” Directed by Machele Miller Dill with musical director James Gregory, the show contains a great amount of heart and some earworms of songs. From cast to set to music, the whole show is a gem. Based on Miguel de Cervantes’s classic novel “Don Quixote,” “Man of La Mancha” follows a fictionalized version of Cervantes, who has been thrown into a prison during the Spanish Inquisition and is awaiting trial. While in the prison, he is scrutinized by his fellow prisoners and relates the story of ingenious nobleman Don Quixote as his defense. “Man of La Mancha” is very much an ensemble piece, and the TU Theatre Department pulls it together with an all-star cast. Tyler McCoy brings an ernest brevity to Cervantes and an empathy to the mad Don Quixote, while Kara VonWyl is excellent as the tragic Aldonza. The standout performance of the show is Michael Flake as the Don Quixote’s squire Sancho Panza. Flake’s comedic timing and affable performance were responsible for most of my laughs during the show, and he completely steals the scene in his song “I Like Him.” The trio of Muleteers, played by Evan Moorehead, Nicholas Mueller and Martin Van Stipdonk, are a fun bunch as well. Their three-part harmonies were wonderful and added to the liveliness of the show. The set design by Diana Steverson is simple and effective, conjuring the feeling of a dungeon with minimal structure needed. The crowning piece, a giant staircase that is

suspended in the air, acts as an isolator for the prisoners. It looms ominously throughout the entirety of the show and becomes impressive communicator of a set piece. Along with the stage itself, the props for the show are notably creative — in particular, Don Quixote and Sancho’s pedal-driven horses. The costuming by Crista Patrick and Faith Greenhagen is stellar, making each character easily readable and identifiable (and those inquisition guards! I want to dress like that). During the Don Quixote segments of the show, the characters wear masks in the style of commedia dell’arte theatre. While this works well on the whole, accentuating the caricature nature of one-note characters, it was rather distracting in the case of McCoy’s Don Quixote. It felt like something was lost by having the main character wear a mask that completely obstructs the face. The pacing of the show is quite nice. Running at about an hour and 40 minutes, the show has no intermission but doesn’t feel too long. The plot of the story and the song breaks are well interspersed. The cast does an impeccable job of balancing the tragedy with the comedy, allowing it to ring emotionally true. I would be remiss to not mention the wonderful music in the show. The live band, led by Gregory, is on point rhythm-wise, and for the most part, the cast does a great job with balancing harmonies and singing in key. “Knight of the Woeful Countenance” and “Golden Helmet of Mambrino” were particularly fun highlights. The songs themselves are all very catchy. I left the theatre humming along. You can see “Man of La Mancha” this week. Remaining performances are on the 25th, 26th, and 27th and begin promptly at 8:00 p.m. The black box theater in Kendall Hall only holds 72 seats, so make sure to reserve your seats in advance! You don’t want to miss this one.

photo by Emma Palmer

The State-Run Media

22 October 2018

the

State-Run media We write articles not tragedies.

Earth goes emo The world is dying, but is it just a phase? Brennen Gray Light Yagami Cosplayer

The Pope sinning by wearing white after Labor Day.

graphic by Conner Maggio

The Purge, Jesus edition

A controversial new doctrine pronounced by Pope Francis goes into effect next year.

Courtney Spivey Ready to Commit, Like, Two Whole Sins It is 2018, y’all, and our pope is super litty. So litty that recently, in an act of unforseen ambition, he has allowed all sins to be committed for a total of one lunar day every year, not unlike the Purge. Let’s dive into this rabbit hole. Second, a Christmas Wish List of sorts for all my readers out there, except for Various Sins: 1. Stay up until 5 a.m. on a school night when your first class is at 8 a.m. 2. Willingly read the entire “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy. 3. Take two multivitamins in one day. 4. Respond with only “Yee,” the Waluigi “Wah” or “I dunno, OwO (pronounced like “oval” but with more sin).” 5. Say “Yeet” for accuracy and “Kobe” for distance. 6. Refusing to be spoopy for Spooktober. 7. Eat your second-born. 8. Appreciate Minions unironically (guilty as charged).

9. Watch anime. 10. Write an article complaining about your roommate’s dog, but labeling it as satire so people don’t suspect your inner jealousy of the amount of attention Mr. Nutt receives in proportion to yours. … and etc.! Third, as head reporter on this decision, I am very excited to share with all of you my plans for this special holiday. I will start off my morning by not showering after waking up and drinking a Nutella shake. Shortly after that, I will be coming to each class five minutes after it starts to incite the glares from both the professors and students sitting in the back who themselves arrived two minutes late to class (hypocrites). Then during class I will be on Instagram the whole time and only like cute corgi-butt posts, with the exception of a few fat squirrel pics. After all that hard work, I will punish myself for sinning by getting in the Chick-fil-A line to both empty my wallet and increase my overall mass. Next, I will reward myself for being so well-disciplined by skipping a class, choosing instead to go back to my room to watch like three episodes on Netflix or browse YouTube. Then I will end the day with a Nutella dinner and two cups of Nutella-flavored tea, topped off with a shower

in Nutella spread and another bath to rinse off the Nutella, where I will blast my music for as long as I am in the bathroom. Last, I have asked some friends what their plans are for this upcoming event, and they’ve all responded with as much enthusiasm as me. Here are some of the best responses: “I might skip school if all sins are allowed. Probably sleep in till 2 p.m.” — Amelia Desnuts “I might smoke some dank weed. Also, if you’re writing this for the newspaper, just, like, use someone else’s answer, okay?” — Eric Valley, Class of 2020, CS and math double major, lives in Hardesty Hall, room 2009. “Drop out and pursue competitive vaping, maybe become a vore icon. What, you asked! Like seriously, in this day and age, this shouldn’t be a sin, I don’t know why I’m even responding to your question with that. I guess people are just not open-minded enough. Jesus.” — My (now former) roommate Cory Carter What will you all do to celebrate this national holiday? Our inbox is currently taking ideas to post for next year’s sin-purge, so feel free to let us know at DearCatholicChurchPleaseDontSmiteMeThisIsSatireThanks@utulsa.edu!

Earth’s first step toward embracing its inner darkness was dyeing its oceans black. Now, some say oil is bad for the body, but the sleek black look is worth it. Earth, a teenage planet from the Milky Way suburbs, is going through what some parents are calling an “emo” phase. During this time in Earth’s life, it may experience mood swings, heightened hormone levels, anger towards any form of establishment regardless of size and various levels of “I don’t give a crap, Bill,” as Earth has put it. “I knew this was coming the day it turned 4.543 billion years old. Earth is just in that time of its life when it channels its middle school angst into active rebellion,” said Earth’s mom, Karen. Bill, Earth’s stepfather, joined in the conversation saying, “Every time I knock on its door and say, ‘How ya doin’ in there, sport?’ it justs screams, ‘Go away!’” After many unsuccessful attempts, Earth was only able to be talked into an interview, with a bribe of My Chemical Romance’s “Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge” album on vinyl. “It’s just, like, you don’t understand me,” said Earth, letting a cloud of vape loose in its posterfilled room. “Ya know, sometimes I feel like Light from the anime ‘Death Note.’ Just so misunderstood but always doing the right thing. Nobody seems to care about me or my health, so why bother taking care of myself? The more polluted I get, maybe someone will notice me and give a crap. Until then, I’m not going to worry about the trash piling up on me. Or shower.”

When asked about how the sudden change has affected its happiness, Earth sucked on its vape and thought for a second before answering. “People need to understand that this is just the way I am, and I am glad I finally got myself together in time to realize that. I just like music and video games. And smog. This isn’t a phase,” Earth said. Earth’s neighbors have noticed the change in Earth too. “Ever since it got to the age when humans would build factories on it, Earth has been blowing clouds of smoke everywhere like some kind of goth chimney!” said Mrs. Smith, one of Earth’s neighbors. Shortly afterward, she began choking on a vape cloud blown by Earth itself on its way out of its house. Smith continued, “And when it got old enough to start changing its appearance, it cut off a lot of its trees except for the ones at the very top, which now hang low over its face. That and the excessive checkered Vans have been really making it look like it doesn’t have parents.” The “emo” look has been rising in popularity lately. Influences of musicians such as “Black Veil Brides” and “Panic! At the Disco” have molded today’s youth into a subculture. Since all the other planets are around the same age, they are joining the trend themselves. Mercury is all tatted up, Venus is having cloudy judgement, Mars is erupting with anger every minute, Jupiter died a spot of its hair red, Saturn is wearing a dozen rings, Uranus is going its own direction to break the norm and Neptune is always feeling blue. Scientists worry that if the planet does not change its ways within the next 11 years, the change may be permanent.

graphic by Conner Maggio Earth going to get black chokers and a Nightmare Before Christmas notebook.

Highlight reel from the VP’s visit to ORU

Mike Pence came to Tulsa to support Kevin Stitt and faced consequences from Oral Roberts himself.

Sara Serrano Really Hopes You Go Vote With the 2018 midterm elections rapidly approaching, the campaign cycle whirlwind is in full force — endorsements, attack ads and rallies flying everywhere — and Oklahoma is no stranger to tornadoes: literal and political. If you didn’t attend or were not even aware, Vice President Mike Pence paid a visit to Tulsa last Thursday to support Republican

gubernatorial candidate Kevin Stitt. A great deal of the rally at Oral Robert University’s Mabee Center was the standard fare: speeches by U.S Senators Inhofe and Lankford, U.S. Representative Mullin and Vice President Pence, full-throated praise for Stitt and his great likeness to President Trump and promises to “Make Oklahoma Great Again!” However, there were quite a few things at the event that stood out, highlights that you should definitely be aware of if you wish to make an informed decision come Nov. 6. Stitt found hotboxing his dressing room Most curiously, candidate Stitt did not talk much at his own rally.

His campaign would have you believe that he’s just a humble man who prefers to let others talk him up rather than sing his own praises, but in truth, Stitt was actually just high out of his mind. Right before he was scheduled to step on stage, Stitt was discovered smoking weed in his dressing room. The room itself took hours to air out, but Stitt didn’t have the luxury of time. Simply too high to read his prepared speech on his support for religious freedom, gun rights and keeping recreational marijuana illegal, the other rally speakers had to extend their talks to allow enough time for Stitt to sober up and offer a few words at the end of the event.

Oral Roberts came back from the dead to slap Pence In the middle of Pence’s speech, the power in the Mabee Center went out. As the outage lasted only moments, it was blamed on weather conditions, and the rally continued as if uninterrupted. However, that doesn’t explain why Pence seemed so shaken up during the rest of the proceedings. Eyewitnesses from the front row have a different story to tell. “I swear to Jesus Christ, as soon as the lights went out this … this figure appeared,” said Marjorie Wilkens, a rally-goer. She continued, “all pearly white, just shining in the darkness of the place. It wasted no time in giving Pence the back of its hand, and

then the front, and then the back again.” Paranormal experts agree that this was most likely the ghost of Granville Oral Roberts, charismatic televangelist and founder of Oral Roberts University, risen from the grave to give the Vice President a piece of his mind. “The most likely case was that Oral Roberts could not stand to see such a liberal [Pence] giving a speech at his beloved campus,” said Dr. Reed Kashma, an expert in phantasmagorical indignance. “He worked some of his ghost magic and shut off the power so he could let Pence have it in private. Simple as that.” Now that you have all the facts, go make the most of your vote!