6 November 2017

Student newspaper of the University of Tulsa

photos courtesy University of Tulsa, Jen Smith, Brennen Gray, Michaela Flonard, graphic by Madeline Woods

November 6, 2017 Issue 11 - Volume 103

6 November 2017

Sports

The Collegian: 2

Golden Hurricane takes fourth consecutive crown

The men’s cross country team continued its run atop the American Conference, while the women stumbled to fourth place. Both will continue their seasons at the NCAA Midwest Regionals.

Justin Guglielmetti Sports Editor

Led by senior Ben Preisner’s third place finish with a time of 25:12.5, the University of Tulsa men’s cross country team won a narrow victory in the American Athletic Conference championship last weekend. The 8k race was held at Belmont Plateau in Philadelphia. It was the fourth consecutive AAC crown for the Golden Hurricane and eighth conference title in a row dating back to TU’s membership in Conference USA. One year after blowing away the field and having seven runners finish all-conference by placing in the top 15 (including individual conference champion Luke Traynor), the team faced a great deal more competition in 2017, scoring 53 points and finishing just 10 ahead of second-place Connecticut. UConn actually saw all seven of its varsity athletes finish before Tulsa’s fifth runner completed their scoring but the high finishes of Preisner, freshman Scott Beattie (fifth, 25:23.9) and seniors Henry Pearce and Adam Roderique (ninth, 25:43.7 and 12th, 25:48.0 respectively) were enough to put the Golden Hurricane over the top.

After the meet, head coach Steve Gulley praised his team’s effort. “I’m really proud of our team because we really came together today. We’re very fortunate because the conference is dramatically better than previous years.” TU’s coaching staff was named the Staff of the Year.

Preisner’s impressive showing marked the third time he has recorded a top three finish at the conference championships. Roderique earned his fourth all-conference nod and Pearce his second, while Beattie was named the American’s Freshman of the Year after finishing three spots and fifteen seconds ahead of the next rookie, Temple’s Anton Harrsen.

After winning the conference in 2014 and ‘15 and losing out to SMU by a mere two points last year, the women’s team hoped to keep pace with the men and get back on top.

Unfortunately they fell to fourth behind Temple, SMU and dominant UConn, which placed three runners in the top five on its way to 34 points. Sophomore Ashley Barnes led the scoring for Tulsa, finishing in ninth place with a time of 21:59.4. Just missing out on allconference honors was freshman Caitlin Klopfer who finished a mere two seconds behind the 15th place finisher. Fortunately, the future looks bright for the Golden Hurricane, who put out one of the youngest teams in the field. Of TU’s seven runners featured in the championship, five are underclassmen.

Both teams will look to continue their success at the NCAA Midwest Regionals on Nov. 10 in Ames, Iowa.

courtesy the University of Tulsa

Houston Astros win their first World Series Last year’s World Series saw the end of a curse. In 2017, it was the fulfillment of a prophecy.

Justin Guglielmetti Sports Editor Back in June of 2014, Sports Illustrated graced its cover with a presumptuous headline that was greeted with a collective derisive shock from most of the sports world. The Houston Astros, it declared, were “baseball’s great experiment,” “the game’s next big thing”... and the 2017 World Series champions. At the time it seemed hard to believe. Sure the ‘Stros were stocked with a boatload of young talent in the likes of five tool prospects George Springer and Carlos Correa, a burgeoning (if presumed to be overachieving) All-Star in Jose Altuve and two potential future aces in lightly bearded lefty Dallas Keuchel and 20-yearold righty Lance McCullers. But they were also below .500 and in the midst of one of the worst multi-year stretches in MLB history coming off three consecutive 100 loss seasons.

With baseball’s seemingly random success rate on developing prospects, it seemed absurd to suggest that the team would be in a realistic position to compete on the biggest stage in just a few years time. Well nobody’s laughing anymore.

Fielding a hard hit grounder into the shift from the Los Angeles Dodgers’ Corey Seager, Altuve made the easy throw to first to secure the Astros’ first World Series victory in franchise history. It capped an epic seven game series that did damn near everything it could to live up 2016’s Cubs-Indians (which, for what it’s worth, might have been the greatest Fall Classic every played). Springer, the featured athlete on the now-prophetic SI cover, was named the MVP of the series after he bat .379 with a record-tying five home runs. He also set WS records for extra-base hits (eight) and total bases (29). And he did all that despite finishing 3 for 30 in the Astros hard-fought seven game victory over the Yankees in the ALCS (I promise I’m not bitter) and going 0 for 4 with four strikeouts in game one! So much for negative momentum.

Don’t be fooled though, Houston’s path to the title was so much more than a one-man effort. Jose Altuve capped off a likely MVP season by morphing into a 5’6” version of Rogers Hornsby, batting .400/.600/.775 through the first two rounds including a three homer game in the ALDS. Justin Verlander, perhaps baseball’s best pitcher of the last ten years

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not named Clayton Kershaw was traded to the Astros for a bag of peanuts in late August.

Though he wasn’t at his best against Los Angeles, he almost singlehandedly willed Houston past the Yanks in his two starts of the second round, allowing a single earned run in his 16 innings pitched. Alex Bregman made a number of outstanding heads up plays at third base throughout the playoffs. Journeyman starter Brad Peacock earned his first career save in game three by twirling 3.2 innings of no hit ball, then shut out the Dodgers for two more crucial frames in game seven. Charlie Morton, once dismissed as a nothing prospect because of a lack of velocity, made like Goose Gossage and blew 98 mph fastballs by everybody in sight over the final four innings of the deciding game.

Lest you think that there was some black magic or MLB-SI collusion at play here, be assured that this World Series was no sure thing. Sports Illustrated has reported that there was division on the editorial staff over making such an unlikely claim in a headline and the Houston Chronicle even went so far as to call it a “tongue-in-cheek projection” back in 2014.

The Astros themselves have made plenty of mistakes along the way that easily could have come back to haunt them. J.D. Martinez, dropped outright by the club in March of 2014, has gone on to become one of the game’s premier sluggers. Former top prospect Jon Singleton is currently languishing in the minor leagues following a battle with marijuana addiction. They traded the farm for Carlos Gomez, apparently never getting the memo that the talented centerfielder is also the most petulant clubhouse cancer in the game. They whiffed entirely on their first round picks in 2013 and ‘14, selecting two guys, Mark Appel and Brady Aiken, who have yet to sniff the major leagues.

Fortunately, none of that matters now. Errors in judgment and reasonable expectations be damned, the Astros are world champs. And perhaps best of all, the city of Houston finally has something to smile about.

Sports

The Collegian: 3

Tigers tear Tulsa to tatters Tulsa looked like a high school team on Friday night as it was once again blown out at home 41-14.

Zane Cawthon Sports Correspondent

In what has become a depressingly familiar pattern, the Golden Hurricane suffered from poor defensive effort, inconsistent play calling and an eye-widening 103 penalty yards on their way to a palindromic 41-14 loss against number 23 ranked Memphis in front of a dismayed home crowd on a chilly Friday night. This defeat was the third straight for Tulsa and the eighth loss of this neverending nightmare of a season only one year removed from a 10-3 record and a Miami Beach Bowl victory.

The game started off with promise, with TU matching the Tigers blow-for-blow into the second quarter, with touchdown runs on back-to-back drives from quarterbacks Luke Skipper and Chad President to tie the game at 14 points apiece. Unfortunately, President’s score would be the last time Tulsa would find the end zone for the remainder of the contest.

Memphis’ Anthony Miller answered a couple possessions later with a floater into the corner of the end zone in front of the TU student section from Tigers QB Riley Ferguson (who padded his stat sheet with four touchdowns and 298 passing yards on the day) to put the Golden Hurricane down by seven points. Near the end of the first half, Tulsa had the ball with over a minute remaining with all three timeouts to give. With a chance to make an aggressive push to attempt to tie the game again before halftime, head coach Philip Montgomery instead elected to run the clock out and head into the locker rooms down by a touchdown.

Memphis received the ball to start the third quarter and began the beatdown in earnest, out-gaining Tulsa in second half yards 278 to 59 and scoring 20 unanswered points on several additional long marches downfield. The Golden Hurricane defense was unable to stop the offensive deluge and the offense was unable to gain traction against the Tigers defense, which recorded three sacks and an interception with seven tackles behind the line of scrimmage.

TU running back D’Angelo Brewer put in another reliable performance, surpassing the 1,000 rushing yard threshold for the second straight season. However, Tulsa’s rushing game this season

will be permanently disadvantaged after receiving word that running back Shamari Brooks is out for the remainder of the year with a broken collarbone, an injury he received last week in Dallas against SMU. This loss against a clearly superior team isn’t a very surprising one. No, what is most vexing about this week’s loss is the lack of originality and puttering attitude of resignation the 2017 campaign has adopted. For what it’s worth, it appears that Coach Montgomery agrees. “Tough game,” he told the press. “I thought we played a pretty good first half. Got to be more consistent… I’ve got to do a better job coaching, and we’ve got to come out and do a better job in the second half.” Perhaps Coach Montgomery has been reading this reporter’s articles after all.

Tulsa has a handful of very good, arguably great offensive weapons in QBs Skipper and President, RBs Brewer and Brooks and WRs Justin Hobbs and Keenen Johnson. Why, then, has its efficiency only worsened as the season progresses? The answer is simple: opposing defenses have studied up on the offense and know what to expect. The worst thing a football team can become is predictable. If Coach Montgomery wants to improve his coaching, he can decide to take a gamble with a minute to go in the second quarter and call a play-action pass on first down. He can give his man under center more opportunities to create positive yards and develop a subset of option plays around him and the halfback.

(It works for Navy, why not Tulsa?) He can create an offense that adapts to its own strengths and fights predictability.

The Golden Hurricane travel to Tampa this week to play the South Florida Bulls. It will be a harrowing matchup; USF has one of the most prolific offenses in the American Conference, and their defense has forced 20 turnovers this season. Hopefully, Tulsa can make a good showing and make it through the 2017 gauntlet with their heads held high.

Dominant end to men’s soccer season Avenging the football loss, men’s soccer beats Memphis 6-0.

Justin Guglielmetti Sports Editor

It was a disappointing season for the University of Tulsa men’s soccer team, but the Golden Hurricane at least made sure to end it on a positive note. In their most impressive performance of the season, the Golden Hurricane shut out the Memphis Tigers 6-0.

Freshman forward Thomas Wells scored his second goal of the season just 57 seconds into the game to give Tulsa a lead that it would not relinquish, then added his second of the game in the 11th minute off an assist from Jacob Gooden. Gooden scored himself before the end of the half for a commanding 3-0 lead at the break.

TU maintained the pressure in the second half, adding a score from Miguel Velasquez and two over a six-minute span from fresh-

man midfielder Chase Bromstedt. The match was never close, as Memphis only recorded two shots on goal, both of which were saved by Cooper Clark.

The men finished their season 6-8-1 overall and 2-3-2 in the American conference. They did not qualify for the conference playoffs which begin this weekend in Dallas.

Velasquez led the Golden Hurricane in scoring on the year with 13 points on four goals and five assists. He was followed by Rollie Rocha and Wells, each of whom recorded eight points on three goals and two assists.

Hurricane Scoreboard

Football Nov. 3: Memphis 41 - Tulsa 14

Rowing Varsity 8+ 1. Tulsa ‘A’ - 16:20.5 2. UCO ‘A’ - 16:29.5 3. Kansas ‘A’ - 16:44.5 4. Tulsa ‘B’ - 16:50.4 5. SMU ‘A’ - 16:52.9 8. Tulsa ‘C’ - 17:38.3

Volleyball Nov. 3: Tulsa 3 - Tulane 2 Men’s Soccer Nov. 4: Tulsa 6 - Memphis 0 Men’s Basketball Oct. 30: Tulsa 96 - Northwestern Oklahoma St. 65 Nov. 4: Tulsa 113 - Missouri S&T 56 Women’s Basketball Nov. 1: Arkansas - Fort Smith 61 - Tulsa 58

Tuesday

Novice 4+ 1. Kansas ‘B’ - 21:03.3 2. Tulsa ‘A’ - 2104.5 3. UCO ‘A’ - 21:14.7 Varsity 4x 1. UCO ‘A’ - 17:50.7 2. Tulsa ‘C’ - 17:51.3 3. Tulsa ‘A’ - 17:59.3 4. Tulsa ‘D’ - 18:20.3 5. Tulsa ‘B’ - 18:22.4

6

Wednesday 7

Justin Guglielmetti is…

the

bleacher creature?

Let them dunk!

You know what the best thing about sports is? They’re fun! So whenever somebody gets a stick up their ass and tries to enforce some silly made-up “unwritten rule” that’s only designed to honor some archaic tradition, I take particular issue with it. You know the things I’m talking about. Better not celebrate after a home run or you’ll get beaned your next time to the plate. Don’t go for it on fourth down if you want your knees to remain intact.

Step on the opposing hockey team’s logo in the middle of the floor and you’ll be lucky to make it off the ice without seeing stars.

Last week, Jordan Bell of the Golden State Warriors brought the basketball equivalent to the attention of the national media when he threw a pass to himself off the backboard for a thunderous dunk against the Dallas Mavericks. Rick Carlisle, the Mavericks coach, was beside himself with anger and would not even listen to Dubs coach Steve Kerr’s apology after the game. Bell’s crime? Pulling off the spectacular highlight with his team up 25 points in the fourth quarter. BLASPHEMER! Seriously, Carlisle and anybody else who actually cares about this needs to focus their attention elsewhere. You know, like maybe ensuring that your team isn’t getting blown out in the first place. How is a dunk like Bell’s any more disrespectful than the fact that he’s even on the floor with a few minutes left in the game in the first place? That’s supposed to be crunch time, shouldn’t the likes of Durant and Curry be out there?? Bottom line is that dunks off the backboard are fun. Fun is a good thing. Therefore, if my TU education has taught me anything, dunks off the backboard are a good thing.

Managers are interchangeable, gang I was having a debate with some friends last week about the importance of managers in baseball. These poor ignorant acquaintances were under the impression that a ballclub’s skipper actually has a significant measurable impact on its performance while I maintained that most of such analysis is purely circumstantial. Now I’m not sure what you guys think of the matter, but I’m the one who has the newspaper column so I get to be right (Disagree? Shameless plug to come write for me!) Basically my thinking boils down to the facts that managers aren’t calling plays out on the field (I guess he orders shifts, but those are decided by the team’s analytics department), clubhouse culture and chemistry is as much a product of the players as the staff and that there is no science to pulling pitchers.

For God’s sake half of the job is based on gut feelings, “does my guy still have it for one more batter or not?” So while I will miss my man Joe Girardi at the helm of the New York Yankees, I’m sure whoever replaces him will still do a damn fine job.

God loves Clev...oh who are we kidding We close this week with a hilarious story from the NFL trade deadline that you may not have heard. A certain team in dire need of a QB attempted to trade for backup A.J. McCarron from the Cincinnati Bengals. Because of course any time you have the chance to add a career backup stuck behind the legendary Andy Dalton, you have to do it. The team agreed to the deal with the Bengals at 3:55, five minutes before the trade deadline. What a save! Unfortunately, it didn’t go through because according to a reporter close to the team, executives were so busy celebrating the trade they forgot to call it into the NFL office.

The team in question? You couldn’t make this up. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2017 Cleveland Browns!

Nov. 6 - Nov. 12

31

Monday

6 November 2017

Thursday

Saturday

Friday

8

9

No No No Events Events Events

Volleyball @ UConn 7 p.m.

10

Cross Country NCAA Midwest Regionals Men’s Basketball vs. Lamar 12 p.m.

Women’s Basketball vs.

American University 7 p.m.

11

Sunday

12

Volleyball Women’s vs. UConn Basketball vs. Belmont 12 p.m.

12 p.m.

6 November 2017

News

The Collegian: 4

TU’s Innovation Fellows near completion of training The University of Tulsa is preparing to send its first cohort of University Innovation Fellows to the Google headquarters in Palo Alto, California, to complete their training.

Neb Esayas Student Writer Originating from Stanford University’s Hasso Plattner Institute of Design (d.school), the University Innovation Fellowship is a program designed to “empower students to become agents of change at their schools”.

Through an intense six-week online training session, fellows are coached in design thinking. They are taught the skills necessary to encourage innovation and entrepreneurship at their respective universities while working to make a positive impact on the world.

Graduates of the program have achieved extraordinary success in their ventures.

Many have created physical spaces that provide 3D printers, design software and faculty support for students interested in design. Additionally, students have hosted hundreds of events including conferences, workshops, hackathons and community challenges to encourage student innovation and creation.

Conner Bender, a sophomore computer science and math major, Dallas Elleman, a junior engineering major and Caroline Rodgers, a marketing major, are members of TU’s first University Innovation Fellows cohort.

They have recently completed the sixweek training session and will attend a University Innovation Fellows summit in Silicon Valley.

As a part of the program, the trio conducted research to identify the strengths and

courtesy University of Tulsa

Left to right: Dallas Elleman, Caroline Rodgers and Conner Bender prepare for Palo Alto.

weaknesses of the entrepreneurial environment on TU’s campus.

On October 25th, they held the first stakeholders meeting where they discussed the findings of their research and explained their vision for TU. As University Innovation Fellows, their goal is to help students find their passion and interests earlier. They want to develop an innovative, creative, design thinking based culture on TU’s campus.

The Fellows will host workshops, entrepreneurship events, pitch competitions and pop-up challenges all over the school.

Professor Charles Wood is the faculty adviser for the University Innovation Fellows program and the NOVA Fellowship.

He stated “TU students, the city of Tulsa,

and all organizations and industries benefit from having a creative, flexible, and innovative mindset. Today’s world demands it”.

To keep up with the rapidly changing world students at the University of Tulsa must be pushed to approach problems in a creative, innovative manner.

Wood stated “At TU we have pockets of creative, innovative activity all around the campus, but we often don’t know what each other are doing! The University Innovation Fellows program has as its mission to help teams of students identify and develop the overall innovation ecosystem at select universities around the world.” He hopes that the UIF program will help students come together and work on projects that they are passionate about.

Wood believes the goal of the UIF program at TU is to “connect students more often and more directly to the larger, growing innovation ecosystem of Tulsa and it’s terrific community of leaders in nonprofit and for-profit organizations”. Wood wants to encourage students to explore ideas and projects that they are unfamiliar with, or want to learn more about.

You can find out more about the University Innovation Fellowship by speaking with Professor Charles Wood (Charles-wood@ utulsa.edu) or visiting www.universityinnovationfellows.org. Additionally, explore what Studio Blue has to offer by visiting Helmerich Hall.

North Tulsa food desert worsens

North Tulsa recently saw one of its grocery stores close, exacerbating the problem of food scarcity in the area.

Kayleigh Thesenvitz Editor-in-Chief

North Tulsa’s food deserts widened last week as another of dwindling number of grocery stores north of highway 244 closed its doors.

With Gateway Market’s closing, near the corner of Pine and Peoria, three additional square miles of North Tulsa fall into the category of food desert.

Food deserts are defined by the USDA as “parts of the country vapid of fresh fruit, vegetables, and other healthful whole foods, usually found in impoverished areas. This is largely due to a lack of grocery stores, farmers’ markets and healthy food providers.” In an urban area, anywhere more than one mile from a grocery store is considered a food desert.

In a city like Tulsa, which was built around cars and doesn’t have dependable public transportation, urban sprawl is a major contributor to the prevalence of food deserts.

In an interview last year, Travis Lowe, a TU sociology professor specializing in urban areas, said “Tulsa is a particularly interesting example because this is a city that has organized itself around the automobile.

In doing so it has basically made it so that people require a vehicle to go places. If you live in a food desert, your options for going somewhere besides a convenience store are very limited.”

North Tulsa is defined by the city as everything above highway 244 within city limits. The city zoning for this area is primarily residential and industrial with a few small commercial zones. Many of the residential and industrial zones correspond to regions of North Tulsa that the USDA defines as food deserts.

Another concern is that grocery stores are out-competed by the prevalence of smallbox dollar stores. These stores offer nonperishables at an affordable price, but often the quality of the food is greatly reduced.

Fast food or convenience stores, which offer less healthy food at marked-up prices, are also abundant.

Studies have suggested that those of lower socioeconomic status have 250 percent more exposure to fast food.

This leads to higher levels of obesity and other nutritionally-linked negative health outcomes in lower-income areas where people have hindered access to food, as well as a continuation of the cycle of poverty.

On average, people living in North Tulsa die 14 years earlier than those living in other parts of the city.

Food deserts disproportionately affect mixed-race and nonwhite neighborhoods, with African American and Hispanic neighborhoods, like those in North Tulsa, the worst affected.

Student Association updates Here’s some updates from your friendly neighborhood SA, to keep you updated on what’s going on and what’s planned for TU. Mike Neal, who works with Sodexo, has talked to SA about adding a freezer to the Cstore to begin selling ice cream.

This month is both pride and Indigenous People’s month. For Pride month, there will be another event this Wednesday, Lorton 207 and panels November 17th and 29th. The first will be an academic panel, and the second will be a student-led panel. For Indigenous People’s month, there will be a dreamcatcher making even in the Hurricane Plaza on the 7th. On th 13th, a Native American will tell stories by the fires in ACAC. After Thanksgiving break, on December 2nd, there will be a powwow.

Health sciences majors, law students, graduate students or anyone living in an apartment is encouraged to joined SA senate.

SA also will give organizations Christmas lights to hang on trees, beginning November 30th.

New clubs: Indigenous Cultural Society, Coriolis Force (all-women ultimate frisbee team), and TU rotaract club (college-based club sponsored by Rotary club).

Pongo tapuliensis, a species of orangutan recently observed in Sumatra.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Science news roundup

Adam Lux Satire Editor Nobel Prize Winners The 2017 Nobel prize recipients were announced October 3. The physics, chemistry and physiology or medicine recipients are as follows: Physics: Rainer Weiss, Barry C. Barish and Kip S, Thorne “for decisive contributions to the LIGO detector and the observation of gravitational waves.”

Chemistry: Jacques Dubochet, Joachim Frank and Richard Henderson “for developing cry-electron microscopy for the high-resolution structure determination of biomolecules in solution.”

Physiology or Medicine: Jeffrey C. Hall, Michael Rosbas and Michael W. Young “For their discoveries of molecular mechanisms controlling the circadian rhythm.”

The recipients will be awarded their prizes on December 10.

Via www.nobelprize.org Physics News From LIGO: On August 17, LIGO detected gravitational waves from the collision of two neutron stars. This event was also detected by various light based observatories. This marks the first event that has been viewed by both gravitational waves and light. This detection is further confirmation that LIGO is able to detect real astrophysical events and is able to distinguish between different events.

Via ligo.org From Cern: The ATLAS experiment has detected the first evidence of light-by-light scattering. The scattering process involves two photons interacting and then changing direction, which is impossible according to classical mechanics but was predicted by quantum electrodynamics decades ago. This discovery gives physicists a new interaction to study in search of new physics.

Via press.cern ATLAS Collaboration. Nature Physics doi:10.1038/nphys4208 Chemistry/Biochemistry News An international group of researchers corrected a disease-causing gene mutation in human embryos using the CRISPR-Cas9 technique of genome modification.The gene mutation is called MYBPC3 and causes hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. The experiment was published on August 2, in Nature.

Via Nature Ma, H. et al. Nature http://dx.doi.org/10.1038/nature23305 Biology News Researchers claim to have discovered and classified a new species of orangutans.The species, Pongo tapanuliensis, would increase the number of orangutan species to three. This particular type of orangutan lives in the Batang Toru forest in Sumatra, and the scientist believe that currently fewer than 800 individuals are alive.

Via Current Biology Nater, Alexander et al.

News

The Collegian: 5

Oct 22 6:45 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Bayless Plaza to investigate individuals on bikes harassing students. Officers were able to make contact with some of the individuals. The juveniles were informed about the boundaries of TU being private property their parents were contacted to come and pick them up.

Oct 23 12:25 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the Student Union for an individual in a white mask. Upon their arrival officers made contact with the individual. After speaking to the individual it was established they were a student. The student had taken a mask from the International Student Association’s event box and had put it on. Officers made contact with the International Student Association who will distribute the masks differently.

Oct 24 9:45 a.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the north side of Lorton Hall for a medical emergency. Upon officers arrival they observed a student having what appeared to be a seizure. 2 other students were present and attempting to render aid. EMSA was called and transported the student to the hospital.

Oct 25 2:05 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers responded to the ACSU for an ill student. EMSA was contacted. The ill student had collapsed in the first floor rest room. They were conscious when officers arrived on scene, but had severe stomach cramps and nausea. The student was taken

by EMSA to St. Francis Hospital for further care and evaluation.

7:00 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers received a report from a University affiliate of a sexual assault of a student who wished to remain anonymous. The student was assaulted by another student in a University residence hall. The incident was reported to the Title IX Coordinator.

10:55 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers received a report of a student calling and reporting a message they received from a friend. The message stated that there was an unknown person walking around campus with a weapon. Officers spoke with the student and back tracked the message to the originator/student. The message turned out to be false allegations.

12:36 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers towed a vehicle off campus from the Brown Village Apartments Lot. A vehicle was found parked contrary to university policy and officers verified that the vehicle had been previously tow warned. Towing of the vehicle was authorized by the on-duty supervisor and the vehicle was towed off campus without incident.

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Nathan Gibbons Distribution Manager

Donald Trump nominates U.S. Fed Chair After an unusually long and public process, President Donald Trump nominated Jerome Powell to replace current Fed chair Janet Yellen once her term expires in February. At the announcement Thursday, Trump said, “He’s strong, he’s committed and he’s smart, and if he is confirmed by the Senate, Jay will put his considerable talents and experience to work leading our nation’s independent central bank.”

Powell is seen as a safe choice from a large and diverse pool of nominees Trump considered for the role, including former Governor Kevin Warsh, Janet Yellen, economic advisor Gary Cohn and Stanford economist John Taylor. Analysts say Powell will likely continue Yellen’s trends and aggressive policies within the central bank. Global strategic advisor Richard Clarida said Powell “is likely to provide monetary policy continuity by adopting Yellen’s framework of gradually normalizing rates and predictably reducing the Fed’s balance sheet.” The central bank has hiked interest rates four times under Yellen’s guide, and is planning to do so again this December.

Australian PM Turnbull decries ‘witch hunt’ Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has stated he will not allow a “national witch hunt” amidst some calls for a Parliament-wide audit. According to the Australian constitution, Australian members of parliament must be citizens of Australia only. Since July, six politicians who had dual citizenship when elected have lost their jobs. Last Friday Prime Minister Turnbull said at a conference, “We are not going to engage in some kind of national witch hunt. We are a nation governed by the rule of law.”

The comment came as Energy Minister Josh Frydenberg was accused of being a dual citizen of Hungarian citizenship. Calls for an audit grew last week when Senate President Stephen Parry revealed he was a dual citizen. The government and Labor opposition have resisted calls for an audit, however. Richard Di Natale, leader of the Greens party, has stated that a “huge shadow” will remain over parliament until an audit is performed.

Colombia signs UN deal to fight cocaine production The Colombian government signed a deal with the United Nations aiming to combat the production of cocaine. The 300 million dollar deal will compensate farmers who switch from growing coca, the raw material used to make cocaine, to other crops. The head of the UNODC, Yury Fedotov, said in Vienna, “This historic agreement is a unique opportunity to turn the tide against Colombia’s coca cultivation and help farmers embrace alternative development. The pursuit of peace requires tangible solutions to the crimes that fuel and feed conflict.”

Local analysts say coca production has spiked recently due to the peace negotiation with FARC rebels, which included helping the government to encourage farmers to grow substitute crops. Many farmers took advantage of the delays and began planting coca because they knew they would be compensated later.

6 November 2017

tucollegian@tucollegian.org

editor-in-chief

Kayleigh Thesenvitz managing editor

Michaela Flonard news editor

Trenton Gibbons sports editor

Justin Guglielmetti variety editor

Ethan Veenker commentary editor

Raven Fawcett satire editor

Adam Lux photo & graphics editor

Madeline Woods

business & advertising manager

Brian Kwiecinski

social media & web manager

Nick Rethford

distribution managers

Elise McGouran Carlie Wisely and Nathan Gibbons

@TUCollegian

The Collegian is the student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters, except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law. Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, (918)631-2616. Requests for accomodation of disabilities may be addressed to the university’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Rigsby, (918)631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpeter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accomodations.

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Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opions of the Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers.

Tuesday, November 7 at 5:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m.

Keplinger Hall 3030 Geoscience Seminar: Evening Lecture Prof. Mirko van der Baan, University of Alberta and SEG Distinquished Lecturer, will speak about “How widespread is human-induced seismicity in the United States and Canada?”

Tuesday, November 7 at 6:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m

Virtual Recruiting Session: Cybersecurity Careers Angie Bruce, a Recruitment Specialist from Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine will be joining us to give an admissions presentation for interested students!

TU alumnus Derek Hill, who graduated from OSU COM, will also be answering questions about the process of becoming a doctor.

This is a great opportunity to learn more about the medical school admission process and life as a medical student in general.

Wednesday, November 8 at 12:00 p.m. to 1:00 p.m.

Case Athletic Complex, Oasis, 3rd Floor How to Tie a Tie Never learned how to tie a tie? Come join athletics department coaches and staff who will share how to master this important life skill and take home a tie! (Open to men and women). FREE LUNCH! Wednesday, November 8 at 2:00 p.m.

Hardesty Hall, 3rd floor Multi Purpose Room Job Search for International Students Learn about Americanizing your resume, identifying Visa-friendly companies, and how to build networking contacts.

Wednesday, November 8 at 6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.

Mayo Village Apartments and Student Activities Center Pizzas of Tulsa Sample all kinds of pizza from vendors from all around the city of Tulsa! Brought to you by the University of Tulsa Residence Hall Association!

Thursday, November 9 at 12:00 p.m.

Lorton Hall, Room 210 Paralegal Open House Interested in earning a paralegal certificate?

The University of Tulsa will host an open house for its Paralegal Program to learn why professionals choose TU. Hear about coursework, discover why you should attend a program approved by the American Bar Association, meet the paralegal director, and tour a paralegal classroom.

Friday, November 10 at 7:00 p.m.

Kendall Hall, Theatre II TU Theatre Presents: The End Will Hurt by Laura Neill TU Theatre will present the 2017 winning script from the national WomenWorks playwriting competition, The End Will Hurt by Laura Neill from Boston University.

The play is a comedy about the lives of women in contemporary society.

The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar.

Contact us at news@tucollegian.org with events.

The Collegian: 6

Commentary

6 November 2017

Advocacy journalism neglects objectivity

Reporters who couch their advocacy in their articles without acknowledging their bias make news less reliable and more subjective.

Trenton Gibbons News Editor Well-intentioned journalists can often unwittingly cross the line into advocacy.

The term ‘advocacy journalism’ should read like an oxymoron. Journalism, I am often told, should strive for objectivity; it should be the journalist’s ultimate goal to distance their own subjective opinion from their work until its facts are unimpeded by the writer’s own personal beliefs on the matter. Advocacy implies that a journalist is advocating for something, subscribing to a belief or ideal that is sure to have a serious

effect on their journalistic integrity.

Advocacy journalism refers to “a genre of journalism that intentionally and transparently adopts a non-objective viewpoint, usually for some social or political purpose.

Because it is intended to be factual, it is distinguished from propaganda. It is also distinct from instances of media bias and failures of objectivity in media outlets, since the bias is intended.”

Unfortunately, journalists who do not admit to advocacy often abandon objectivity in a nontransparent manner, and many times unintentionally. The lack of intent does not lessen the damage to journalistic integrity, however, it is hard to argue that the line between journalism and advocacy is quite often blurred to a serious extent.

Maybe one of the cases where this is the truest is in the coverage of stories featuring sexual assault victims. Consider that if the perpetrators of sexual assault could govern the discussion, rape might be labeled, “non-consensual sex,” because of the softening effect of that phrasing. Bill O’Reilly and Harvey Weinstein both have used such phrases. Additionally, recall each time an incident of sexual assault was labeled “boys just being boys”—this an especially common defense in cases of college students or athletes.

In the past, there have been cases where

the rapists were indeed allowed to lead the discussion on sexual assault. Today, the pushback has been such that it is now the victim’s terminology that the journalist writes in, not the rapists themselves. Of course this is preferable to the alternative, but it is still a failure to achieve the objective viewpoint journalism is supposed to strive for. Today, progressive movements have moved vocal privileges to the victim, and the language of the discussion has changed. Sexual victims are now sexual ‘survivors,’ placing a good bit of emphasis on their suffering. It is not too large a leap

like advocacy journalism than objective reporting is helping to perpetuate an atmosphere of absolute persecution of those accused of sexual assault. Note that I’ve said accused, not guilty. There are going to be innocent parties accused of rape; it has happened and it’s going to keep happening, if only on occasion. It is the job of journalists not to rush to condemn the accused, but to report objectively what is known. Journalists who find themselves entrenched in a camp of advocacy will be unable to write in such a manner.

Advocacy journalism has an important

“The term ‘advocacy journalism’ should read like an oxymoron.” to refer to these victims as ‘survivors’, but it is still a leap nevertheless. The word choice of ‘survivor’ invokes the reader’s sympathy, and causes them to choose a side, though it is not always necessarily applicable to the sexual assault victim.

There is always an effect when reporters write subjectively, and rarely is it wholly positive. The effect in this case is a wave of sexual assault journalism that reads more

place in the modern media, but journalists who claim to be objective should be sure not to walk that thin line between advocacy and pure factual reporting. It is difficult, and requires a bit of skepticism on the part of the reader. The next time you pick up an article, no matter how objective it might seem, consider how the wording shapes your opinion on the reported matter.

@RealPressSecBot delivers innovative Trump coverage

A Twitter account that formats Trump tweets as press releases gives a new perspective to Trump’s presidency in 140 characters or less.

Kayleigh Thesenvitz Editor-in-Chief My policy for this newspaper is that we try to only write commentary articles that are local and timely. After all we are a student newspaper, so we should focus our attention on things that are pertinent to students. Full disclosure, I’m about to break my own rule.

I want to talk about what I consider to be the most important twitter bot in existence — @RealPressSecBot. @RealPressSecBot checks @RealDonaldTrump’s twitter feed every five minutes and turns the tweet into an image of an official White House press release.

This one twitter bot is capable of more than all the editorials at all the left-leaning newspapers in all the world.

There is something profound in the simplicity. You can’t accuse a direct quote of being biased.

However, by making Trump’s tweets a press secretary memo, you remove the mask of machismo and showmanship to re-

veal the core truth that is often blinded by the spotlights.

The words on the screen are no longer written by publicity king Donald John Trump. They are written by the President of the United States of America.

The words “So much Fake News being put in dying magazines and newspapers.

Only place worse my be NBC News, CBS News, ABC News and CNN. Fiction Writers!” are no longer the words of everyone’s love-to-hate-him reality tv character.

Those are the words of the leader of our country, attacking nearly every member of the fourth estate.

And the words “I told Rex Tillerson, our wonderful Secretary of State, that he is wasting his time trying to negotiate with Little Rocket Man…” make for a vastly more serious threat coming from our national figurehead than from man who tackled and pummeled Vince McMahon at Wrestlemania.

Or what about the words “The Russia hoax continues, now it’s ads on Facebook.

What about the totally biased and dishonest Media coverage in favor of Crooked Hillary.”

Suddenly this lying false equivalency meant to diminish the legitimacy of the media coverage of ongoing independent agency investigations into collusion with Russia is no longer the work of orangefaced, straw-haired clown, but of a media mastermind who knows how best to manipulate the minds and attention spans of the hundreds of millions of gullible dupes that make up the American public.

Like me. @RealPressSecBot is not local or timely, but it is so invaluably important to be worth breaking the rules.

courtesy @RealPressSecBot

6 November 2017

Commentary

The Collegian: 7

Russian studies at TU dishearteningly deteriorates

Russian studies are still relevant in today’s world, and students continue to show interest, yet TU has failed to give the department the resources it needs.

Alex Garoffolo Student Writer TU’s Russian Studies degree program has humble beginnings. In 1979, history professor Dr. Joseph Bradley moved here from Harvard. Students in his classes showed interest in TU gaining a Russian Studies program; eventually they gathered enough signatures on a petition to the dean that the Arts & Sciences college hired an adjunct Russian language professor. Between this adjunct, Dr. Bradley, and a few others during the 1980s, the program began to gain traction as a degree option. Then came Robert Donaldson.

Former TU President Dr. Robert Donaldson began at the university in 1990. He stepped down as president in 1996, but continued to teach classes until as late as 2009.

Classes he taught included such course titles as “The Politics and Culture of Russia,” “The Cold War” (a freshman seminar), “Russian Foreign Policy” and “Global Threats to American Security.” Donaldson was a leading voice behind the creation of the sister city partnership between Tulsa and Zelenograd, a city in Russia just outside of Moscow. Donaldson was also responsible for bringing world renowned Soviet/Russian poet Yevgeny Yevtushenko to TU for the first time in 1992. Yevtushenko would end up making his home in Tulsa, teaching Russian Literature and film classes at TU until he passed away in April of this year.

His classes always had wait lists and many students remarked that his were the most memorable courses they took at TU. After Yevtushenko’s passing, faculty of the Russian Studies program asked the university’s administrators if the funds that went to pay his salary could now be spent on hiring another Russian language professor.

They were told that the “funds had already been spent.” There are currently just two Russian language professors and only one is full time. Compare this to other language departments like German or Spanish that

have enough faculty and enough courses to offer full bachelor’s degrees in just the language alone. The only major Russian has is Russian Studies, billed as “an interdisciplinary program in Russian language, literature and culture, history and politics.” Due to the small course availability, Russian language courses must be paired with history and political science classes for majors to earn the degree, which can present problems of their own.

When Donaldson retired, TU hired Dr. Guarav Kampani to fill the gap Donaldson left in the political science department.

However, Kampani does not teach a single course that deals specifically with Russia.

Classes he teaches include titles like “American National Security Policy” and “The Politics of the Global Commons,” which are very different from Donaldson’s offerings.

His teaching focus includes “South Asia” and “US Foreign Security Policy.” Again, nothing specific about Russia.

Dr. Bradley recalls a time when he had about 80 students enrolled in sections of a class he taught called “Russia Today.” He has not taught that class for several years now. Bradley, who is the last remaining professor in the Arts & Sciences college to teach strictly Russia-related courses, retires this May. “Without the faculty it needs,” he told me “this program will die.”

Where does the program currently stand?

Christine Ruane, who taught history courses related to Russia, is gone. Bob Donaldson, who taught Russian policy courses, is gone. Yevgeny Yevtushenko, who taught Russian literature and film, is deceased.

Joseph Bradley, who teaches Russian history classes, is retiring in May. That leaves two language professors: Applied Associate Professor of Russian Elena Doshlygina and Adjunct Instructor Olga Randolph. The latter might only have one class in the spring, despite the fact that their admired language

opportunity.” As TU is so heavily invested in both cybersecurity and petroleum, it only makes sense to have a strong Russian program. Russia is the only other nation in the world that is as heavily invested as the United States is in both of those arenas. As Peters puts it, “show me a global citizen who thinks he or she doesn’t have to interact with Russia, and I’ll show you a seriously disadvantaged person.” Russia, both history and current events agree, is not going anywhere; neither should we.

“Show me a global citizen who thinks he or she doesn’t have to interact with Russia, and I’ll show you a seriously disadvantaged person.” and culture classes are often overfilled with eager students. The newly named head of the Russian Studies program is Dr. Benjamin Peters, a media studies professor who also has expertise in Russian Studies. Due to departmental demands, he currently does not teach a course that specifically relates to Russia; although this could, in theory, change.

During a conversation, Peters said that “TU is poised very well to rebuild a strategic, critical Russian Studies program. We need to make sure that we do not miss this

photo by Raven Fawcett

The Russians Studies room in Oliphant Hall is a remnant of a more robust Russian Studies department.

Speaking of global citizens, Russian Studies is a program that’s produced two Fulbright winners (one of whom won a critical language scholarship) in just the past four years alone, as well as a deep bunch of impressive alumni who operate across global industries and national government.

TU bills itself as a school that makes students think globally. There’s the Center for Global Education, Global Scholars program and Global Graduate award. Semester after semester, TU students listen to administrators tout how internationally accepting the campus is, how diverse the student body is, how well-prepared graduates are to face a globalized world. In fact, Forbes magazine recently named TU a Top 20 university for international students. Why then is TU letting its Russian program slowly die?

Professors who’ve never been replaced?

Check. Salary money that was “already spent” before it could be allocated back into its own department? Check. One more professor about to retire? Check.

Still, perhaps not all is lost: professors told me Dean Misra, of the Kendall College of Arts and Sciences, remains supportive of Russian Studies. What this program needs is a healthy, revitalizing boost. It needs it fast.

It needs it now.

The faculty are doing all they can. Already, Professor Doshlygina has collected over 80 student signatures on a solidarity petition for the program. She also received 12 letters from alumni of the program in support of Russian Studies, which she handdelivered to President Clancy’s office. The future of the Russian Studies program remains to be seen. On the eve of one of TU’s largest events, the International Bazaar, a night that celebrates TU’s diversity, it would be quite an appropriate time to hear some good news from administration concerning the Russian Studies program. Rest assured, the Russian Club will have a booth there.

New law makes roads safer, likely increases number of tickets

Road safety will likely improve with new left lane law.

Nathan Hinkle Student Writer As of November 1, it is a ticketable offense to drive in the left lane without passing on any highway with more than four total lanes. Drivers are now unable to drive in the left lane unless they are actively passing another vehicle on the road. However, driving in the left lane is still allowed if it is necessary due to traffic or road conditions. Like speeding, police will now give out tickets to drivers who are driving in the left lane without intent to pass other cars. Previously, the law stated that drivers were allowed to stay in the left lane if they were not impeding the flow of traffic.

This law was passed in hope that it would help reduce potential car accidents across Oklahoma’s streets and roadways. In order

to get this message across, the Oklahoma Department of Transportation has installed new signs in locations across the roadways of I-35 and I-40 barring metro areas. These signs state “slower traffic keep right” and “do not impede left lane.” However, some fear that left-lane laws blame potential victims of car crashes rather than people who are speeding. I think that this new system will provide a safer driving environment on Oklahoma streets by limiting the potential for accidents.

House Speaker and author of the law, Charles McCall stated on his personal experience, “I live next to State Highway 69/75 in Atoka and I see firsthand the dangers of slow traffic in the left lane. We worked diligently with both the Department of Public Safety and the Department of Transportation this session to get this law passed.”

By removing the left lane as a regular lane, the government hopes to prevent potential problems that occur due to traffic mishaps between drivers.

Oklahoma is also following a precedent set by other states. A report in March showed that five states, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, New Jersey and Tennessee, currently had left lane laws while Oklahoma, Oregon and Virginia were in the process of enacting these laws. Clearly, is a common issue throughout the country.

However, some argue that some of the reasoning behind left lane laws is flawed.

People against left lane laws state that re-

graphic by Michaela Flonard

New signs have been posted to alert drivers to the new law that limits traffic in the left lane.

moving the left lane will prevent road rage due to minimum speed drivers driving in the passing lane. The problem with this idea is that it blames law-abiding drivers for the problems of their fellow drivers. It is more important to catch people speeding and breaking the law than it is to attack the legal driver.

During Indiana’s creation of a similar bill in 2015, Indiana State Senator Karen stated mockingly, “You can be driving down the road at 70 miles per hour, doing the speed limit, and some joker comes up from behind doing 90 and you’re the one who gets a ticket?” The victim of the road rage is being blamed for another person’s crime. Therefore, the solution is not to remove the left lane but rather to focus on catching the real criminals involved. In response to these allegations, supporters such as state representative Jud McMillin stated, “Let’s be clear: Speeding remains just as illegal as it always has been. This is about safety and common courtesy. We should use the roads the way they were designed to be used.”

While this bill will not completely fix car crashes, it will help lower the amount of them in the coming years. According to

a University of Texas study, there is no perfect connection but there are three noticeable things that determine the rate of car crashes: speeding, speed variation and traffic conditions. This left lane bill focuses on erasing the issue of speed variation which is the difference in speed between two cars.

With this bill, drivers on the slower end will be separated from the faster drivers. Therefore, there will be less massive changes of speed erasing a series of potential errors on the road.

In a response to the bill, Department of Public Safety Commissioner Michael C. Thompson said, “Any step we can take to improve safety on our roadways is worth our collective efforts… I am hopeful this legislation will reduce tension and also result in better access for public safety and first responder officials driving to emergency situations.” This bill will lessen the chances for car crashes and provide a safer system for driving. Through extended efforts towards road safety, Oklahoma can reduce the amount of car crashes and the terrible loss of life or property that comes with them.

The Collegian: 8

Variety

6 November 2017

Philbrook’s exhibit offers an alternative angle on art The Philbrook’s newest exhibit, “Museum Confidential,” provides an exclusive look at the innerworkings of art and exhibit creation.

Michaela Flonard Managing Editor If you’ve ever stared at a piece in a museum and wondered exactly how it made the cut, then Philbrook has a new exhibit that’s perfect for you. As for everyone else who’s happy with how museums are laid out, well, the exhibit will confirm how they do it so well. From now until January, the Philbrook has a special exhibit, “Museum Confidential,” that provides a behind-the-scenes look at museums.

Before you even make it into the exhibit hall, a video from the director of the museum welcomes you in, explaining the premise. You’d best get used to him; he’s a familiar face throughout. Most of the exhibit explained how an exhibit is put together, but also featured an artist’s preparations for his mini-exhibit that’s housed within and a small section on the life of the Philbrooks, the family who lived in the mansion.

In its finished form, the artist, Andy Ducett, put together a motel front office—a small shack with a desk inside. Behind the desk was a map of the U.S., giant room keys and a series of sketches, presumably done

by Ducett. This exhibit, while an interesting concept that I wouldn’t have created, was possibly the least interesting part of the exhibit for me. Examining his sketches and planning for what his piece would be was a different take on the museum experience, and seeing backstage is always fun, but the finished product didn’t catch my eye.

Along one wall was a series of paintings, ranging from a beautiful coastline to a striking painting of a bear. Splitting the set of images was a video and a task: museumgoers are invited to vote for one of the three paintings on the right to be included in the curated set on the left. On the opposite wall, people can place their votes and explanations for their choice. This section of the ex-

the bulk of a museum’s collection that the public rarely sees, for one reason or another.

Some of them were beautiful landscapes, and considering they were so rarely seen, I would’ve instantly volunteered to take them home. Others were propaganda posters that didn’t fit into war exhibits, and were thus rarely shown. There were even a few baskets hidden at the top of the exhibit. The clustered nature of the works was a bit overwhelming at first, but brilliantly conveyed the point: Philbrook has a lot of art we don’t normally get to see.

Sitting in a glass case by itself was another item the public rarely sees: a set of Japanese armor. Why? The sign explained that museums may have items they can’t group

“Philbrook has a lot of art we don’t normally get to see.” hibit provided an interactive experience that was geared towards adults, which is generally a rarity. While it was rather difficult to decipher why the left set of paintings was supposed to go together, being able to add another was a fun exercise in interpretation.

Along the opposite wall was a mess of paintings, with no unifying theme or style.

Instead, these paintings were the “95%,”

with anything else — “lonely” items. Next to that display was a setup seen in almost every crime drama — a set of photographs and notes tied together by string representing the connection. The setup portrayed the museum’s search to know more about a Native American headdress in their possession. The headdress in question wasn’t even displayed, as the museum wanted to know

The theme of “Museum Confidential” is almost the absence of a theme; the Philbrook is displaying that which hasn’t been displayed.

the origins of the headdress and have permission from the Southern Cheyenne before it did so. Other individual pieces allowed museumgoers to see all sides of a painting, including the back which had various notes from its previous owners, or explain why the subject of one painting could not be identified.

This exhibit also featured photos and relics from the previous occupants of the house, the Philbrook family. As someone who’s not that into old memorabilia, I didn’t find this too interesting, but the collection of lamps set near it was very pretty and eyecatching.

Finally, there was a small box, entitled “Little Things,” where viewers could step inside and see the tiny pieces of art the museum had collected. The squishiness of the room, combined with how low some of the items were position, emphasized the size of the items. There were a collection of vases that glowed an iridescent, neon green when hit with the right light, a set of miniature, toy circus pieces and other small, beautiful items.

“Museum Confidential” runs until May 2, so TU students have plenty of time to check it out. And since the Philbrook’s free for TU students, only time and transportation are stopping you. If you get there before November 12, they also have a small collection of propaganda art from World War II in a side gallery.

photos by Michaela Flonard

Variety

6 November 2017

The Collegian: 9

“Over the Garden Wall” a Sisserou’s a vibrant spot season-appropriate watch in Tulsa Arts District The restaurant specializes in Caribbean and Cuban food, and while a bit pricey, offers something for everyone.

Michaela Flonard Managing Editor

courtesy the Odyssey

Over the Garden Wall is notable for its gorgeous backdrops through which the characters move.

The 2014, ten-piece miniseries first aired on Cartoon Network and has become a cult-classic in the years since.

Ethan Veenker Variety Editor We’re in one of the coziest seasons right now. It’s autumn. The trees are turning brown and the air is cooling down and Halloween was just last week. Granted, the transition is going rather slowly, but but we’re entering jacket weather, the season of blanketed nights on the couch, watching weird horror films with friends. Or not; everyone has their own autumn traditions or lack thereof. This one’s mine.

“Over the Garden Wall” is an animated, ten-episode miniseries that aired on Cartoon Network Nov. 3–7, 2014. It follows the adventures of two brothers, Wirt (Elijah Wood) and Greg (Collin Dean), a bluebird named Beatrice (Melanie Lynskey) and Greg’s frog as they travel through the Unknown, a massive forest filled with odd things and people inspired by 19th- and 20th-century Americana. I would describe the genre as something like folk-fantasy.

Cartoon fandoms bother me as much as anyone else. Shows like “Adventure Time” and “Steven Universe,” while perhaps entertaining in their own rights, tend to attract massive fanbases with obnoxious obsessions. This is no fault of the shows themselves, though, so when people scoff at the mention of their names I feel a pang of empathy for the creators (though I doubt they care).

“Over the Garden Wall” has the advantage of having been only a miniseries. It’s short, its characters have all been as fleshed out as they ever will be, all the plot events have been satisfied and the show is over.

There’s a run of comics that depict events concurrent to the series, but “Over the Garden Wall” began and ended in satisfying fashion, effectively quashing the possibility for annoying fans. All you get, instead, is self-indulgent journalists who’ve run out of ideas.

Yes, the series aired on Cartoon Network.

Yes, the target audience is mostly children.

Yes, there are a couple of episodes that lean on this childish crutch, and can make the watcher feel a little ridiculous. The themes lying behind the series, though, not to mention its atmospheric and visual quality, make for an engrossing watch. I make it a point to watch this series all-the-way-through every year at around this time, from episode one to ten. It’s a series, yes, but it’s so much more enjoyable to watch like it’s a film, clocking in at just under two hours.

So what makes this children’s program so

enjoyable and accessible by adults? I suppose the first point is the humor. It’s simple and easy to get, relying on visual cues just as much as the dialogue itself. It can appeal to children, but it feels very adult at the same time. Yes, there’s plenty of jokes aimed at and accessible only by children, but it feels like one of those kids’ shows that’s designed with the parents in the mind. Closer to the truth, perhaps, it was made with both children and adults equally in mind.

Next is the art. The animation is fluid and rich, about the quality you’d expect from a studio-backed work. The range of emotion displayed through the characters’ rather simplistic designs is impressive, though perhaps not particularly unique considering the animation quality Cartoon Network is known for.

Beyond the animation is the background palettes. They’re paintings of washed-out, somehow beautiful fall colors. Lots of browns and greens, some oranges. Forests and fields and towns look real, traversable, like they’re right over there. As per the series’s Wikipedia page, “[Series creator Patrick] McHale referenced chromolithography, vintage Halloween postcards, magic lantern slides and photographs of New England foliage to create the show’s style.”

The artistic direction comes together to depict some other-worldy 19th-century America, spanning from Appalachia to the Mississippi. The art helps to form a mood that works off old folktales and familiar, pastoral scenes of America’s past. It’s weird to localize this fantasy miniseries, but it truly feels American.

The other ingredient that works wonderfully with the art is the soundtrack. This one is a bit more difficult to describe, but it all feels so authentic. Period-appropriate music is playing at all times; the opening theme is a despondent, catchy piano riff with a wonderful male bass vocalizing; when things get dark (and they do get dark) the soundtrack complements it just as I’d imagine an 1800s American band would. The last thing I’d imagine from such an aesthetic — given its campy, specifically catered usage — is pure, unbridled beauty. We get moments like that a lot, though, and the show is all the better for it.

This is the perfect time of the year to watch the show. I’ve left out all the plot elements because I truly don’t want to divulge anything. It’s a wonderful journey to undertake yourself, with the end-product being anything but childish or kid-oriented. This miniseries exists purely for the HalloweenThanksgiving season, and I urge the reader to take a couple hours out of one weekend to watch it, right now the whole series is on Hulu. You won’t regret it, and maybe you’ll have a new seasonal tradition.

When I tell people from outside Oklahoma that Tulsa actually has a really good food scene, places like Sisserou’s are what I mean. Sisserou’s Caribbean Restaurant is located in the Tulsa Arts District, nestled unassumingly next to the blaringly loud Mexican restaurant whose name I can’t remember.

Specifically, Sisserou’s is inspired by the island of the Dominica, but takes influences from the larger Caribbean, as well as Europe and America. A brother-and-sister team own the restaurant.

Upon entering, the eatery comes off as very bright and inviting, with dark wood furniture, vibrant wall paint and paintings that harken back to the islands from which Sisserou’s is inspired. A bar is situated to the left of the main dining areas, with other seating scattered throughout. Inside, it’s a lot bigger than it seems.

I’ve been to Sisserou’s twice now, once for lunch and once for dinner. Lunch operates from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., and is definitely the better option for college students on a budget. The lunch and dinner menus are nearly identical, except that the lunch menu has fewer, different, but most importantly, cheaper entree options. Either of these menus can fit entirely on one page, with an additional page of desserts and drinks, primarily alcoholic. The rest of the menu consists of appetisers, soups/salads, sandwiches and entrees. Honestly, I would’ve eaten some of the appetisers for a regular meal, as they included beef patties and jerk chicken wings. The sandwiches range from your obligatory burger with a few twists, to a “bake and shark,” made of fried sandwich dough and fried shark. All come with some sort of side, making a sandwich a hearty meal for dinner or lunch. For entrees, most dinner options are a little pricey, all over $15 and most within the $20 range, but include stewed oxtail, jerk chicken and New York strip steak. The lunch entrees are all around $10, and include jerk chicken and curry chicken, but not as many seafood options as dinner.

Before our food came out, we were served some bread, which was, like any bread, amazing. It was a speciality of the islands, made with more sugar than flour, so a bit sweet. All the entrees, however, come out artfully displayed, with streaks of sauce or sprinkles of seasoning on top to emphasize the color contrast found in the cuisine.

I’ve tried both the “bake and shark” and the jerk chicken sandwich.

The “bake and shark” was unique. For my side, I picked the Callaloo soup, a traditional Caribbean soup with coconut cream, crab meat and spices. Unfortunately, I’m not the biggest fan of crab meat, so I didn’t actually find the soup that appealing, but others who tried it liked it. Upon my next visit, I tried the butternut squash soup, which was creamy and warm, perfect for the fall weather. Others in the group tried the fries and plantains for their side. The fries were extremely crisp, with just the right amount of salt, so I was a huge fan, while the plantains were thin and fried, with a sprinkling of sugar that made them a delicious dessertside hybrid.

The “bake and shark” itself, however, was great. The fried dough stays crispy no matter the sauce used. The shark itself, also deep-fried, came across as any other fish patty. The meat was noticeably different than, say tilapia, another white meat, as it was firm and flakey. Several sauces accompanied the meal to be added at your leisure; my favorite was the tamarind and cilantro aioli. For the jerk chicken sandwich, warm wheat bread sandwiched a chicken breast, with lettuce, tomato, onion and an avocado creamy sauce. With all these accompaniments, the spice of the jerk chicken was drowned out, although the chicken was noticeably moist. Without the toppings, it did have a nice kick.

Others in the group ordered the Cuban sandwich and the veggie burger. The Cuban sandwich was huge, leaving leftovers. The veggie burger, which had a lot of ingredients and toppings, was fuller in flavor than expected. The crab back appetiser was also ordered, which was crab meat with spices, rolled in breadcrumbs and baked. For the price, it was rather small, smaller than my fist, but, I was told it was good. I’m not the person to judge crab meat.

Overall, I’d recommend visiting Sisserou’s. Because the prices can creep up on you, lunch is probably the best time, but it’s got a wide range of food and drink.

The bake and shark, pictured here, provided a hearty and entirely unique meal.

photo by Michaela Flonard

60 thoughts I had while listening to Weezer’s “Pacific Daydream”

Weezer’s a tried-and-true band, so their latest release is bound to have a couple good jams on it, right?

Kayleigh Thesenvitz Editor-in-Chief 1. Variety Editor Ethan Veenker made fun of me for liking Weezer. I hope there is another “Island In The Sun” or “Beverly Hills” on this album so I can stick my tongue out at him.

2. “Mexican Fender” is a weird name, I hope this song isn’t racist.

3. Oh, it’s about a guitar.

4. Is this song advocating adultery?

5. I don’t know if she loves you, but she doesn’t love her boyfriend.

6. This album released a little late for what is clearly supposed to be a “hot summer single.”

7. This track sounds like a generic boy band created it. Please don’t do this to me Weezer.

8. “Beach Boys” you say. Is there about to be some 1960’s rock throwback?

9. This is super synthesized.

10. Ha, it is actually about the beach boys.

11. I would actually much rather turn it up for the actual Beach Boys.

12. Champagne and OJ?!

13. Who are we holding up at gunpoint?

14. How is “Quit screaming and start sing-

ing from your heart” 3000 words? If you’re going to interject random speech into your song shouldn’t it at least make sense?

15. This is so high pitched I can’t understand the lyrics.

16. The phrase “Let’s go” is going to echo on in my head for the next hour isn’t it?

17. Hey, I’ve actually heard “Feels Like Summer” on the radio already.

18. “I’m spiritual, not religious. I’m a Libra, if that matters.” It doesn’t.

19. Why does summer feel so melancholy?

20. Is background speech just going to be a theme of this album?

21. This is pretty whiney.

22. “Happy Hour,” I might need one of those after listening to this.

23. Generic bar music, I see.

24. Monty Python?

25. I also need happy hour on sad days I guess.

26. Do I have to admit defeat to Ethan 5 songs in?! Please Weezer, give me a strong back half of the album.

27. It’s like they’re warbling over what would otherwise be nice upbeat instrumental music.

28. “Weekend Woman” is off to a pleasant start.

29. The ABCs of love?

30. Is “when God made her he threw away the formula” supposed to be a compliment?

It doesn’t sound like a compliment.

31. Fell in love on a Sunday and drifted away on a Monday … so you’re ghosting until the weekend?

32. The dating scene of 2017 is a weird one.

33. EWWW, what a gross musical transition.

34. Is this whole album about pining after women?

35. Okay, so we are starting “QB Blitz” like the theme music for a wholesome family sitcom?

36. Poor friendless, loveless bastard.

37. Just say no to drugs!

38. I’ll be missing you like ox-y-gen, z-gen.

39. This sounds like background music for a Care Bears movie.

40. PLEASE WEEZER. My pride is at stake.

41. “Sweet Mary” already sounds like yet another love song.

42. Ok, I can stand this so far. Significantly more natural sounding.

43. Fine. Its pretty generic, but at least it’s not bad.

44. Is he in love with Mary because she is doing everything for him?

45. WAIT WHAT? You don’t even know who Mary is?

46. “Get Right” is supposed to refer to how this track is going to correct the rest of the album right?

47. Not only do the drum beats overpower the song so that I can’t actually hear the lyrics, but they are also really basic.

48. Am I going to have to relisten to this track just to hear the lyrics?

49. Why won’t I tell you it’s over? Maybe because I still have faith in us Weezer?!

Stop trying to passive aggressively break up with me.

50. “La Mancha Screwjob” also sounds like a racist title.

51. Another song about being lonely.

52. EWW, I fourth love song about summer.

Have all my preconceived notions about Weezer’s musical talent just been a lie.

53. Huudlum? Porch boum? Those aren’t how you pronounce those words.

54. I mean. I don’t notice anything particularly racially sensitive about this track other than the title.

55. “Any Friend of Diane’s” is a friend of mine? So far the song is just repeating the title over and over.

56. A $20 tip you say?

57. Black hair and a Smith’s shirt is probably my spirit animal.

58. This is not the same old Weezer, but this track is redeemable.

59. Or maybe just repetitive?

60. Well, that’s it I guess. Damn it Ethan.

You win. Please do not purchase or listen to this album. We should not be encouraging this blasphemy. If you need a Weezer fix I suggest sticking with the older songs.

Variety

The Collegian: 10

6 November 2017

Theory of a Deadman’s show anything but dead

The early ‘00s alt-rock band came to the Cain’s in order to give a nostalgia-fueling performance.

Brennen Gray Student Writer

The rockers of Tulsa filed into Cain’s Ballroom with medium sobriety and maximum enthusiasm as they hosted Theory of a Deadman this week. The raucous crowd jostled in desperate competition to approach the stage with the collective gusto of impressive, if not unsettling, magnitude.

Seattle musician Ayron Jones opened up with his crew. His music was decent, but not quite noteworthy. For those into good rock music, I can see the appeal, but he lacked anything too extraordinary. Jones is the quintessential up-and-coming artist: he may make it big, but chances are slim.

Swedish band Royal Republic came next, dressed in antiquated formal wear, no less.

Their vibe was one of absolute fun. Their

most popular song, “Baby,” proved worth the hype, and their “Full Steam Spacemachine” was deliciously catchy. Yet, it left a little to be desired. The frontman focused more on theatrics and humor than music.

That is not to say they are mutually exclusive, but if I cannot have both, I would take the music over his groovy dance moves any day.

By the time the main act came on, my head was already pounding from the opening act’s shared loved of seizure-inducing guitar solos. The crowd was bustling to get to the first row, probably crushing anyone under five feet tall into a mound of beer bottles and leather. Theory of a Deadman’s first few opening numbers were on the heavy side: loud, fast and almost angry. They left no doubt that they should be the headliner.

By the time they played “Drown” I felt the need to cheer, but at times the heavy sound and volume lost clarity, and it verged on noise instead of music. However, like many of the bands, the guitar solo was clear and well-performed: I could actually hear the

notes. The backdrops were simple — for “Drown” it was just a bubble and water animation — but even if they were forgettable, it was relieving to see a band that does not make them overly distracting.

A number with a slightly different sound, “Santa Monica,” commanded the stage with a nearly acoustic sound. Frontman Tyler Connolly sang with passion, the drums were particularly satisfying, giving a slow but powerful cadence, the vocals were clear, and the crowd got into it. Even the backdrops were interesting despite merely being images of driving down a road. It was very enjoyable.

“Not Meant to Be” was one of my favorite songs and perhaps the only one I was familiar with going into the concert. It was a rare that the live performance of a song sounded just as good as the studio recording.

They first ended the show and walked off stage with a disappointing performance of “I Hate My Life.” The song itself I found to be a little whiny, but the hundreds of fullyemployed people out partying on a Wednes-

Royal Republic (top left) and Theory of a Deadman (remaining) gave the best performances of the night, both memorable and visceral.

Thanksgiving Recipe Need an easy side for Thanksgiving? Try this delectable dish.

Tori Gellman Student Writer Roasted Sweet Potatoes Ingredients: 4 sweet potatoes, peeled and chopped into one-inch cubes ¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil, plus a smidge extra for pre-cook drizzling ¼ cup honey 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon Salt and freshly ground black pepper (to taste)

courtesy Flickr

photos by Jennifer Smith

Books to read if you’re feeling ________ Local bookworm Tori Gellman weighs in with some books you should read when feeling alone, nostalgic or lost.

If you’re feeling alone, misunderstood or trapped: “All the Ugly and Wonderful Things” by Brynn Greenwood

Wavy marks her place in this world by the alignment of the stars; their constellations provide an essential point of stability in her very inconsistent life. Equal parts heart wrenching and warming, Greenwood’s debut novel is a must-read.

If you’re feeling nostalgic or compassionate: “A Man Called Ove” by Fredrik Backman

Preheat oven to 350℉ Lay the cut sweet potatoes in a single layer on a roasting tray. Drizzle the ¼ cup oil, cinnamon, salt and pepper over the potatoes.

Roast for 25 to 30 minutes in oven or until tender.

Take sweet potatoes out of the oven and transfer them to a serving platter. Drizzle with more EVOO. A wonderful side for your Thanksgiving meal!

day night seemed to connect with complaining about work on a deeper level. If I were a real adult I may have appreciated the song more.

They walked back on stage (was anyone really surprised?) and took up their instruments. They proceeded to play “Rx,” also titled “Medicate.” The lyrics were against America’s favoritism of prescription drugs, i.e. psychiatrists prescribing antidepressants almost immediately as “treatment.” I have no stance on the issue, but Connolly apparently had enough of one to write the song.

The show as a whole was a great time, as Cain’s Ballroom generally provides.

Although all the artists could have done a better job of making their music powerful without just making my ears bleed. For the numbers that were genuinely good, I would recommend their music to people looking for modern rock music with a heavier sound. I would describe Theory as a more creative Nickelback. My headache wore off in the afternoon the next day, and I did not regret a minute of it.

our lives and the impactful relationships we have been fortunate enough to make, and inevitably had to lose.

If you’re feeling lost, lonely or invalid (which you’re not): “Everyone’s a Aliebn When Ur a Aliebn Too: A Book” by Jomny Sun

courtesy Harper Perennial courtesy Thomas Dunne Books

Children should be allowed their time of innocence. But for young Wavy, she lost her ability to be naive the day she was born into a family of abuse and addiction. She finds solace and love, however, in the form of one of her father’s thug henchmen, Kellen.

The relationship between Wavy and Kellen causes us to ask ourselves and each other some really challenging questions. Greenwood inspires us to wonder about the validity of age as a social construct, while also challenging the very definition of family.

courtesy Washington Square press

We’ve all met the stereotypical curmudgeonly old man. But few of us probably take the time to really think about what their lives have been like to lead to this point. Grumpy old Ove is forced to rediscover these moments in his life when a boisterous young multicultural family moves in next door.

Backman paints us a beautiful and intricate romance and just as quickly rips it from our grasp. The unfolding of Ove’s young and lifelong romance allows us to look deep into

This graphic novel follows the voyage of a lonely alien sent by his breed to observe Earth and report back with his discoveries and findings. The story is laden with undertones of self-discovery, the struggles of life and perspectives and perceptions that are individualized to every unique person.

Sun provides with a sweet and compelling adventure that reminds us to step back and appreciate all of life for what it is and to accept everyone for who they are.

Variety

6 November 2017

The Collegian: 11

Living Arts hosts reflective gallery on Day of the Dead The Day of the Dead gallery specializes in altars built by local artists in honor of their deceased loved ones.

Brennen Gray Student Writer First Friday continued Tulsa’s Day of the Dead celebration at Living Arts. Day of the Dead tradition involves building altars for deceased family members to welcome them back to the home of the living. A single altar may be dedicated to many different family members or just one. General decorations

include skulls and skeletons, flowers and religious objects. Usually, the living put out their dead’s favorite things such as toys, personal objects and food.

Generally, First Friday art is an expression of local culture, exhibited and up for criticism or praise. However, each altar is more than a piece of art. Every piece seemed to be put there with so much care.

One particular altar struck me because of a recent picture crowning the top. The altars are filled with symbolism and black and white pictures of elderly, but one had a recent-looking picture of a girl in a military uniform. The caption of the photo gave the birth and death dates. Her name was Stephanie Marie Barton, and she was an Air Force

Veteran. She died at 22 years-old in a car crash.

Seeing a girl around my age memorialized on a Day of the Dead altar drew me in for a closer look. A relative of Stephanie’s, Anita Pyle, sat next to the alar to answer questions.

“She was spec-ops,” she said, “Also won the sharpshooter award.” She continued on to say her job was the grenade launcher.

Pyle made certain to dry the distinction between her job and her personality. Pyle said how everyone loved her. She used to work at Elote, downtown, where “she loved the Mexican wrestling.”

I asked about a skull-shaped jar that was filled with coffee beans. “We roast Costa Ri-

can Coffee ourselves,” Pyle explained. She handed me some chocolate covered coffee beans to munch on, leaving the home-roasted ones in the jar.

Lastly, I asked about a real quesadilla with salsa sitting on the small table. She explained they have a family member that “makes the best salsa” and she put out a quesadilla to go with one of Stephanie’s favorite foods. It felt so melancholy to see the food put out for her to come home to her family, knowing it will never be eaten.

The Day of the Dead is a cultural tradition of uncommon depth. Honoring the dead is a task people rarely make time for. With Tulsa’s annual participation in the event, I strongly urge any Tulsan to go next year.

photos by Michaela Flonard (left column) and Brennen Gray (right column)

Murals and altars artistically celebrated the Day of the Dead.

The State-Run Media

6 November 2017

the

State-Run media Fuck the patriarchy, I guess?

Have TU’s sexual assault prevention efforts gone too far? work he needed to fill out to charter his new club “TU Meninists”.

To my question “So you’re complaining that TU is limiting your freedom to party by encouraging bystander intervention and strongly defining consensual sex?” Facce responded, “NO! That’s not what I’m saying at all! God, stop trying to womansplain to me!”

“All I’m saying is that I can’t get any anymore ‘cause all these bitches are scared to drink the drinks I hand them and girls at parties are walking home in groups and shit,” Facce continued.

Students complain that all this interest in preventing sexual violence is really bumming them out.

Kayleigh Thesenvitz Editor-in-Grief Many students are applauding the University of Tulsa’s recent efforts renewing their commitment to sexual assault prevention.

However, several young men on campus have complained that the revamped policies are discriminatory and severally interfere with their collegiate learning experience.

Hugo Douce, the president of [redacted] fraternity, is leading the charge of men protesting the “destructive campus safety culture.”

“Just hear me out, we understand that our female counterparts deserve respect and need to feel safe on campus and all that, but what about our rights?” Douce asked.

“As fellow students of this university we have a right to party. It says so right here in the Student Code of Conduct!” Douce said, thrusting a copy of the lyrics to a Beastie Boys song in my hands with the words “Student Code of Conduct” written on the top in childish scrawl.

“I just feel like we are having our freedoms taken away from us,” added Richard Facce as he sorted through the SA paper-

After the date he texted her routinely to tell her how pretty she was and how horny she made him.

After he sent six messages in a row, including a picture of his “gargantuan dick” without getting a response he sent “Stop ghosting me you hateful bitch.”

In response the girl typed, “Look, I’m just not that interested. Please do not talk to me like that. If you message me again I will call Campus Police.”

“Can you believe this bitch?” the man said showing me his messages with no concern about his own actions. “Can you be-

“...he sent six messages in a row, including a picture of his ‘gargantuan dick...’”

Another young man who asked to remain anonymous because of the sensitivity of the subject came forward to reveal a series of threatening text messages he received from a girl that he used to have a hard-on for.

After getting her phone number from a friend of a friend of a friend the guy texted her out of the blue telling her how beautiful she was.

At first she responded, “I’m flattered, who is this?”

He told her his name and asked her out to get some coffee. She consented to get coffee with him later that week.

lieve this slut threatened to call campus security on ME? It really is just unbelievable what this campus is becoming,” he said. “I just don’t understand why TU is encouraging this kind of behavior.”

Student athlete Willy Nads Johnson said the prevention efforts have negatively impacted his ability to be a productive member of the student body.

“I can’t focus in practice because coach keeps telling us to respect women and reminding us about consent. I can’t focus in class because all these girls are walking around in sexy sweatshirts and leggings without any concern for how their clothing choices affect me. I can’t even focus while studying because I get these panic attacks thinking about how I’ll never get laid again,” Johnson said.

According to Douce things are getting bad with all this repressed sexual tension in the air.

“No girls showed up to the last party and I got so-blackout that I went upstairs and masturbated on one of the sleeping pledges,” Douce somewhat shockingly said out loud. “This little bitch told some of the other guys in the house, but it’s ok now because I called him a lying little fag and he didn’t make in.”

The members of literally every other fraternity on campus publicly denounced [redacted] fraternity in a campus-wide email saying “We strongly disagree with Douce’s statements” and “are trying to make campus a more comfortable place, where people can exist in peace as more than just sexual objects.”

“We acknowledge the role fraternities have played in past in silencing sexual assault victims and intend to work with the University of Tulsa every step of the way to end rape culture,” the email stated.

However, some students thought the fraternities taking positive steps were actually getting into bed with the oppressor.

“Rape culture isn’t a real thing,” Facce said while tweeting out the hashtag #NotAllMen. “It’s just a tool of the establishment feminazi agenda to punish good guys like us for not falling in line with their reverse-racist PC bullshit.”

When asked how the men plan to continue to express their dissatisfaction with prevention policies Facce said, “I’m thinking about starting the #MeToo so men like me can share their discrimination stories.”

TU President Gerard Clancy chose not to formally respond to, or even acknowledge, any of the young men’s complaints, though he could be seen shaking his head disapprovingly through his tiny office window before sitting down to write another campus-wide email.

Student accidentally runs marathon trying to finish enrollment

Lewis taking his last lap before he signs up for classes.

graphic by Madeline Woods

Woman questions her boyfriend’s “equalist” stance In light of friends’ experiences with her boyfriend, Amanda Smith almost realizes that just because someone calls himself an equalist doesn’t make him a nice guy.

Raven Fawcett Michaela Flonard Want Smith to break up with him Amanda Smith, a sophomore chemical engineering student at the University of Tulsa, broke down in tears Wednesday after returning from the mall. Her boyfriend of three weeks, Brad Donald, called her a bitch. When she confronted him, Donald shrugged, saying that “you call your friends bitches all the time!”

Smith shook her head furiously. “He never does stuff like this.”

Their friends rolled their eyes when asked about the issue. “He once slapped me because I punched my boyfriend on the shoulder after he made fun of my hair. He said it was just him being fair,” one said.

“He licked his lips and stared at my chest when he asked if I was going to join the ‘free the nipple’ movement. He got out his phone and everything,” Aly Carter chimed in, covering her face with her hands.

“Maybe he was just looking down then, at his phone!” the lone male friend in the group bravely defended.

“Boob-stare time is, like, twice as long as

real world time,” Carter argued back. The girls in the group nodded solemnly. “Plus, when I gave him a dirty look, he said that he just trying to be an equalist and that I should be able to walk around shirtless too.”

Another of Smith’s friends, Molly Trevino, said Donald had asked her for a threesome with her and Smith, for “Smith’s benefit.”

“He asked me if I’d ever kissed a girl, and before I could answer, said I’d really love eating her out, even though she ‘smelled like fish and needed to take better care of herself,’” Trevino said.

Smith first fell for Donald during their political science class. “He started arguing that women should be included in the draft, calling himself an equalist, and that was so hot,” she exclaimed through tears.

Carter also remembered this moment but also remembered him saying those women shouldn’t be surprised if they were sexually assaulted in their service, as “boys have needs.”

Smith wiped her tears, staring into the distance. “I guess you can never really know what someone’s like until you’re on day three of your kale-only cleanse he suggested you needed while he eats a whole supreme pizza in front of you,” she said.

“Baby,” Donald calls from the room over.

“It’s your turn to do dinner.”

“What can you do, I love him,” she says, sipping her kale smoothie.

As enrollment begins, a TU student and several faculty members have weighed in on the process that often results in students inadvertently running a marathon.

Ryan Sklar Runs a 2:45 marathon

Panting furiously and covered in sweat stains, local TU student Jeremy Lewis eagerly stated that he hopefully only has another five or so miles to go before finishing his enrollment.

“As long as I maintain this pace, I should be able to make the trek to Keplinger in the next half hour, followed by a brief meeting at Oliphant shortly after, and then I’ll only have a few more stops to go” Lewis said of the 26.2-mile light jog he had begun along

While this young student’s endeavor may be coming to an end, faculty members take some pleasure in remembering that tomorrow more unprepared students will face a similar predicament as they try and squeeze 18 credit hours into a bearable weekly routine. “It’s just so nice to see these bright minds complete such an incredible athletic effort” said longtime TU professor Bob Rogers, “It just really takes me back to my time here at TU when I would be forced to travel miles in order to have a chance at taking a few classes that sounded vaguely interesting to me”.

Those working admissions too seem to be enjoying the sight of hundreds of students struggling to get paperwork submitted before deadlines.

“I really do believe that student programming like this builds character and mental toughness for our student body, I mean un-

“Not to mention students’ calf muscles are looking pretty toned...” with a few dozen other freshman that morning when they began the exodus from Fisher South.

“You never really notice how out of shape you are in college until you start the biannual journey TU calls enrollment,” Lewis said. “I’m just very thankful for all of the available resources and instructions that help me sign up for all of my classes in less than eight hours and only a few repeat trips to academic buildings on the opposite sides of campus of course”.

At the sound of the bell at noon, Lewis was seen rounding ACAC with a smile on his face as he was on his final lap, knowing that he could soon unwind in his back-toback organic chemistry and physics labs he had that night.

der what other circumstances are they going to be physically pushed this hard these days, certainly not through intramurals or anything of that matter” said admissions counselor Susan Johnston. “Not to mention student calf muscles are looking pretty toned this time of year, so I definitely have no room to complain there”.

Johnston went to on to say that “the employee break room had been feeling pretty dull recently” as a result of their 21-inch televisions being taken in for repairs, “so it’s really important to some of my coworkers and I that we have a reliable source of entertainment for when the day just gets a little bit too stressful. Watching the struggles of the TU students provides us with just that, a free glimpse at a truly breath-taking unintentional athletic feat”.